The BLTS Archive - Un series
#1: Unsettling
by Kiff (Kiff47@yahoo.com)

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Disclaimer:  Paramount is God.  I am not.  I make no money from this. 
Promise.

Archiving:  Okay for my web page, ASCEM, BLTS.  Anywhere else, ask
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Dedicated to DB, who'll never know...

A one-hour challenge, and first in a series.

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I can't sit still.  Not that I ever really could during these staff
meetings.  But now it's taking all of my self-control to stay in this
chair.

Today he's across the table from me.  Yesterday he sat right next to
me.  Either way is hard.  If he's across from me, I have to look at
him.  If he's next to me, I have to cross my feet to keep from bumping
into him.  Because if I do that, other parts of my body will follow.

I don't even like him.  Never did, really.  I wanted him to respect me,
in the beginning.  But Chakotay's too sanctimonious to ever truly be my
friend.

I doubt that friendship is what my body's looking for right now.  

Damn.  He's looking right at me now.  No, I will *not* get an erection.
 *No.*  Damn, damn.

"Mr. Paris?"

Now everyone's looking.  I cross my legs again, trying not to brush
against Seven, who's on my right.  My stupid prick won't take "no" for
an answer.

"Uh, what was that, Captain?"

"The modifications B'Elanna was outlining for us.  How do you think
they'll work?"

Okay, the blood that *was* rushing to my dick is now flowing into my
face.  Fine.  Embarrassment works.  "Captain, I apologize.  I wasn't
listening."

Harry's shaking his head.  I can almost hear his thoughts.  /Nice
going, Tom./

I won't look at Chakotay.  God, I can't believe I feel this way about
him.  

Correction.  I can't believe my *dick* feels this way about him.

Janeway frowns.  "Well, I don't think we have time to go into this any
further.  B'Elanna will just have to brief you later on."

Great.  Then she'll probably chew me up and spit me out.  Kind of like
how it was when we broke up a few weeks ago.

God, *what* is wrong with me?  Why is it that when I'm in the same room
with Chakotay, my skin crawls, my pulse speeds up, and all I want to do
is jump his bones?  When did it happen?  *Why* did it happen?

I've never done it with a guy.  Voluntarily, anyway.  I *did* live in a
prison for several months.  Okay, so rephrase that.  I've never done it
*to* a guy.  I've always been on the receiving end.

He's talking now.  I don't even know what he's saying.  I like
listening to his voice.  It's deep and soothing.  I'd like him to talk
just to me, to tell me he's mine, that he'll do anything I want, that
he will take away this itch. 

But he irritates me, too.  That placid Indian facade.  It's bullshit. 
Just once I'd like to rile him up again, like I did when the Captain
roped me into that plot to find the Maquis rat who was selling us out
to Seska.

He's got his eyes on me again.  My crotch responds.  I can't tighten my
legs much more.

People talk back and forth across the table.  I sit there like a human
pretzel, trying to breathe normally, hoping Seven can't see into my
lap. 

I want to grab Chakotay, kiss him until he can't see straight, rip off
his clothes, and fuck him until I pass out.  Or at least until he
passes out.

Okay.  We're done.  People are getting up now.  And what's Chakotay
doing?  He's *smiling* at me.  It's that infuriating little grin he
gets on his face.  Don't even get me started on the dimples.

I stand up, keeping the table between myself and him, and wait for
everyone else to leave.  Harry shrugs as he passes me.  "Tom, it would
probably be a good idea to visit *this* quadrant for awhile."

"Shut up," I say, harsher than I intended to be.  Harry's eyebrows go
up, then he shakes his head again as he departs.  I feel like a
complete asshole.

Chakotay takes his sweet time leaving.  He's fussing with some padds in
front of him.  It's almost like he's waiting for me to walk out first.

Well, shit.  He can just look at my rear end all he wants.  I'm out of
here.  If I stay one more second, neither of us will leave at all.

And you know what?  The kicker of all this is that I know he feels
exactly the same way.

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The End