The BLTS Archive - The Food series
#9: Aftertaste
by Kiff (Kiff47@yahoo.com)

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Disclaimer: They belong to Paramount. I find interesting things for
them to do.

Spoilers: Brief references to "Extreme Risk" and "Nothing Human."

Feedback: Constructive comments accepted.

Archiving: Permission granted to Sileya to archive at TSU. All
others, please ask first.

Sequel to "Food for Thought," "Ruminations," "Ingredients,"
"Simmer," "The Purge," "Just Desserts," "The Spice of Life," and
"Smorgasbord."

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Corridor, 0830 hours....

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres."

"*Lieutenant Torres is in her quarters.*"

Good. Her turf. It should be easier to talk there.

Neelix passed his medical examination with flying colors. He's back
in the kitchen packaging food for the crew going on shore leave.
After I finish with B'Elanna, I'll going to help him get that done,
then he and I are off on our own little camping trip. I can't wait.

Here is B'Elanna's door. I hope I'm not waking her.

*BREEP*

"Yes?"

"It's Tom."

"Come in." She sounds agreeable enough. The door slides open, and I
step through. B'Elanna is sitting in a chair with a padd in her hand.
She looks up. "Well, hi, there."

"Hi." I stand just inside the door, feeling stupid all of a sudden,
not sure what to say. "Uh, missed you at the party last night."

"I got busy." She waves her padd. "Lost track of the time."

"Still working on the impulse engines?"

"No, these are some shield modifications for the Delta Flyer. I was
thinking about running a few simulations later on."

"Aren't you going to take any shore leave, B'Elanna? We may not have
another opportunity like this for awhile." I'm getting comfortable
with the small talk. Maybe *too* comfortable.

She shrugs. "Hadn't thought about it much. Why, are you making me an
offer?" A hint of a teasing smile crosses her face.

Damn. "Well, uh...."

"Come on, Paris, why are you here?" Good old Torres. Straight to the
point.

My palms are starting to sweat. I feel like I should sit down, but
for some reason I'm more comfortable on my feet. "B'Elanna, I need to
tell you something. Something....about me."

She gives me a concerned frown. "What's wrong, Tom?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I'm getting a bad feeling about this already.

"Then what is it?"

"I...I...." *Damn.* "I'm in love..." I see her eyes soften in
expectation, and I have to spit the rest out faster than I want to,
"....with Neelix."

She looks absolutely stunned. "Excuse me? I thought I heard you
say...."

"I've fallen in love with Neelix." It's a little easier to say the
second time.

A half-laugh, half-snort. "Some joke, Paris."

"It's not a joke." Now I do sit down across from her.

She slides away from me, pulling her legs into her body, shaking her
head. "What the *hell* is going on here?"

My mouth is very dry. "I wanted to tell you what was going on, before
you heard it from someone else. Neelix and I are lovers."

She stares at me like I'm total scum. It's that old look she used to
give me a long time ago, during my days as Voyager's resident "pig."

"B'Elanna, please listen to me."

"WHY??!!!!" The padd flies over my head and into the wall behind me.
I jump up, ready to defend myself, but B'Elanna just slams her fist
into the couch. "Why the *fuck* should I listen to anything you have
to say to me?"

She starts to cry. I take a step toward her, then back off. I'm not
stupid. But I am a little pissed. I had never made any kind of
exclusive commitment to her at all. We had been good friends, had
kissed and made out a few times, but it didn't go any further.
Something always happened to stop us.

Could it be that she took our relationship for granted, just held me
at arm's length as long as she wanted to, then when it suited her,
she could ask me for more? Was that why she was so upset about this?

I'm trying to be sympathetic here, but it's not easy. "B'Elanna, I
*really* want to explain this to you."

"Fuck you, *P'tagh*!" She throws another padd at me but misses. I
brace myself for a physical assault, but all of a sudden the fight
seems to go out of her, and she collapses back onto the couch,
sobbing.

I stand a few feet away, wanting to comfort her, but knowing she
would go straight for my throat if I tried. I let her cry, sensing
that she needs to do it, and that there's a lot more bottled up
inside her than anger at me.

She starts to quiet down after about five minutes. Carefully, I take
my seat again. She glares at me but makes no move.

"B'Elanna, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd get so upset by this."

She gives me a blank stare. I recognize the look. It's the same mask
she was wearing on her face a few months ago, when she was running
all those holodeck programs without the safeties. I really hate to
see it again.

"*Say* something."

She doesn't move.

"Dammit, B'Elanna, I'm your *friend.* I care about you. Talk to me."

She shakes her head. "I can't, Tom. I can't see you with Neelix."

"Because you can only see me with yourself?"

She closes her eyes. I know I'm right.

"B'Elanna, it wasn't meant to be. We'd kill each other within a week."

"No..."

"You know it and so do I. Believe me. It wouldn't work."

She's quiet for a long time. Finally, she looks at me. "Are you happy
with him?"

"Yes. I love him."

"You're lucky, then." She rubs at her eyes. "It's never going to
happen for me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I can't believe I'm hearing
this. "You have *no* idea what could happen! I certainly had no idea
that I would fall in love with Neelix! How can you be so sure it'll
never happen to you?"

"I just know."

"Bullshit, B'Elanna."

I expect her to flare up at me again, but she just sits there with
that empty stare on her face. She really needs to get some help. I
know Chakotay was trying to help her deal with the loss of the
Maquis, but maybe he didn't go far enough. She's depressed, and her
feelings about me are only part of the problem. I know her too well.

"I'm worried about you," I finally say.

She shrugs.

"I think you need to talk to someone."

A snort. "Like who?"

"Someone you feel comfortable with. Chakotay, maybe. You trust him,
right?"

"Maybe, when he's not busy being Janeway's lap dog."

Her hostility is chilling. She's still mad at the Captain for
ordering the Doctor to save her life using that Cardassian research.

I'm not giving up yet, though. "That's not fair, B'Elanna. Chakotay's
your friend. He'd drop whatever he was doing to help you."

She's shaking her head again. "I don't need *anybody's* help."

"You're wrong. *Dead wrong*. Next thing I know, you'll be back on the
holodeck finding new ways to hurt yourself. I'm not going to let you
do it this time. Talk to Chakotay. If you don't, I'll go to the
Doctor and ask him to put you under medical supervision."

"You wouldn't...."

"Try me." I get up. "Believe it or not, B'Elanna, I care about you. I
love Neelix, but that doesn't stop me from having friends. And I'll
do whatever is necessary to help a friend in trouble."

I wait for her reply, but there is none.

"Talk to Chakotay, B'Elanna."

A very slight nod, but she can't meet my eyes. It'll have to do for
now. I let myself out of her quarters. Outside, it all hits me, and I
feel tears coming.

---

I stagger into the Mess Hall without even knowing how I got there.
Neelix is alone in the kitchen, working on the food rations. He
smiles at me, and my heart melts.

"Tommy?" Now he sees the look on my face.

I can't say anything. I just shake my head, the sobs choking me.

"Tommy, *milaxi*, come here." He takes me by the hand, leads me to a
chair, and puts his arms around me. "I'm so sorry, my love."

I cry into his chest for a few moments, until I can speak, and the
whole story tumbles out. "She's so unhappy, Lixi. And I feel like
it's my fault somehow."

He takes hold of my chin and stares into my eyes. "*No*, Tom. Her
problems have nothing to do with you. You did *nothing* wrong."

"I know, I know, but still....At least I got her to agree to get some
help."

"The Commander?"

"Yeah. He's about the best person for her to be with now."

"You're absolutely right, Tommy. And I know he'll do his best to help
her."

Neelix strokes my hair, and I pull him close, feeling his warmth and
his love surrounding me, comforting me, giving me strength.

I hope some of this strength can help my lost friend.

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The End

(Concluded in part ten, "Cornucopia")