The BLTS Archive - The Food series
#4: Simmer
by Kiff (Kiff47@yahoo.com)

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Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and all the people within. I like 
them so much I'm letting them out to play.

Spoilers: Spoilers for "The Gift" and "Thirty Days."

Archiving: Permission granted to Sileya to archive at TSU. All 
others, please ask first.

Feedback: Constructive comments accepted.

Sequel to "Food for Thought," "Ruminations," and "Ingredients."

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Tom is gone, and I could just fry myself in one of my own pans. What 
*was* I thinking?

The truth is, I *wasn't* thinking. I just knew that I wanted to touch 
him. I'm a physical kind of person, and I keep forgetting that not 
everyone else on this ship is the same way. I embarrassed him, curse 
my slippery fingers. I wouldn't blame him at all if he chose to have 
dinner in his quarters this evening.

I'm putting the pies into the oven right now, and my hands are 
shaking so much that I almost drop one of the pans. Finally they're 
safely inside, and I close the door and throw myself into a chair.

I wish my Sweeting were here. She'd know exactly how to help. I miss 
her so much. I miss her bright eyes, her gentle voice, her kindness. 
Kes understood me like no other person on this ship, even after we 
were no longer a pair. She never stopped loving me up to the moment 
she left Voyager. She also held a special space in her heart for Tom.

How do I know that? Months ago, in her final frantic moments on this 
ship, something wonderful happened that no one else knows about.

You see, Kes had never been able to communicate telepathically with 
me, no matter how hard she tried. Even during our joinings, she could 
never establish the link. I always told her that my thick Talaxian 
brain was blocking her. I knew it frustrated her that she could not 
share herself completely with me.

I will never forget how she left us. Kes's powers had become nearly 
uncontrollable. The Captain and Tuvok practically dragged her to the 
shuttle bay and sent her on her way before she could destroy the 
ship. When I heard of it, I ran through the corridors, hoping to see 
her one last time, but I was too late. I stood by the shuttle bay 
door with tears streaming down my face, and then it happened.

She spoke in my mind, telling me she loved me and that she would 
always love me. She also told me to take care of everyone, especially 
Tom.

//Why Tom?// I asked her.

//...he'll need you...please promise me...I must go now...//

//I promise// I sent, and then the link was broken, and I was thrown 
to the floor as Kes bestowed her final gift on Voyager.

I wondered for a long time what she had meant. Why would Tom need 
*me*, of all people? He had Harry and B'Elanna. But I did as she 
asked. I watched over him, paid more attention to his food requests, 
and offered a few words of encouragement here and there. I don't know 
if it made any difference to him, but it was not long before I 
noticed a change in myself. The more I gave to him, the more I wanted 
to give.

Wise woman, my Kes was. *Is*.

And then Tom made a foolish mistake, and paid for it with his rank 
and his freedom. I can't tell you how difficult it was for me to 
bring his meals to him three times a day and not be able to stay and 
talk with him. The mess hall was not the same without the sound of 
his laughter and the flash of those bright blue eyes....

Oh, here I go again. Neelix, you are a fool. Stop thinking this way, 
and get back to your cooking.

I go over to the stove and check my soup. It's coming along nicely. I 
add some black pepper to it and give it a few stirs. I lift the spoon 
to my lips for a taste. Not bad, if I say so myself.

The roasts are nearly done, if that smell is any indication.

The door to the mess hall opens, and I hear quick footsteps. "Neelix?"

It's Naomi. I smile at her over the stove. "Ms. Wildman, what can I 
get for you?"

She grins. "Guess."

"A Tredian sweet apple." I pluck one out of a bowl and give it to 
her. She bites into it gleefully.

"Mother asked me to help you with dinner tonight."

"Why, that's very kind of her, and you. Let's see -- you can start by 
bringing out the empty trays and setting them on the end of the 
counter. About sixty ought to do it."

Naomi sticks her apple between her teeth, gives me a wink, and grabs 
a handful of the trays. I listen to her count them out one by one as 
I check my pies. She stacks them up neatly and goes back for more.

I take the roasts out of the oven and begin carving them. Naomi 
finishes her task and I direct her to the cups and glasses. She 
starts setting them out.

The Captain comes in. "Neelix, I understand we're running short on 
food supplies again?"

"That's correct, Captain. Our situation is not dire by any means, but 
I wanted you to be aware of it now before things really get serious. 
And you know about the hydroponics bay?"

She frowns. "I got a full report from Mr. Roberts."

"Don't worry. He's keeping a close eye on things. The plants will 
recover."

"I hope so. In any event, I will make this our top priority. There 
are several M-class planets within a few days' journey from here, so 
we should be able to find what we need."

"In the meantime, Captain, here's a slice of Styrillian roast just 
for you." I place a generous portion on a tray and hand it to her.

She sighs dramatically. "In the spirit of sacrifice and fair play, I 
will forgo the vegetables tonight." Then a twinkle comes into her 
eye, and she leans toward me. "Give Commander Chakotay my portion 
instead."

"I'll make sure he gets it, Captain."

"Thank you." She smiles at me. I do enjoy watching the two of them 
together. They are shameless flirts, especially when they think no 
one else notices.

A beep goes off behind me, indicating that the pies are done. I take 
them out of the oven and set them aside to cool. Naomi hovers nearby. 
"Mmmmmm...."

I shoo her away playfully. "Now, now. You'll have to wait with 
everyone else."

"If I stay and help some more, can I have an extra big piece?"

A wonder, that Ktarian metabolism of hers. "Of course, dear one. But 
you'll need to eat some of the roast first. Your mother insists on a 
balanced diet."

She screws up her face at me. "Oh, *all right*."

I pat her on the shoulder. "You're in charge of the clean dishes."

It's nearly 1800 hours now, and the crew is starting to come in. I 
try not to watch the door for Tom.

Commander Tuvok is one of the first to arrive. He serves himself a 
generous portion of the soup. "One of your -- more successful 
concoctions, Mr. Neelix."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Vulcan." I'm really touched by the compliment, 
but I know he would not want me to say much more.

Harry Kim stabs a large slice of the roast. "Neelix, I want to say 
thanks, again, for helping me out this morning."

"You're welcome, Ensign. Will Tom be joining you tonight?" It's out 
of my mouth before I can stop it.

"I imagine so. He *is* running a little late, isn't he?" But Harry 
doesn't look particularly concerned, and takes his usual seat.

The roast is going quickly, and I set to carving up another one. The 
word must have gotten around that the food supply is running down. 
There seem to be more people here for dinner than there usually are.

I look over to Naomi to suggest that she get more trays out. She's 
staring at the door. I follow her gaze. Tom is coming in. I feel a 
little shaky in the knees and duck into the kitchen to compose 
myself. I can hear everything from here.

"Well, good evening, Naomi. Have you been promoted to cook's 
assistant?"

"*Temporary* cook's assistant. This was Mother's idea. But I'm 
enjoying myself."

"Good. Where's Neelix?"

"Oh, he's around. Can I ask you a question?"

"Fire away."

"You're not a lieutenant anymore. You've been demoted. Did you do 
something wrong?"

I can't resist it. I take a quick peek from around the corner. Tom is 
looking at Naomi very seriously.

"Yes, Naomi. I did."

"It must have been pretty bad."

Tom stares directly into her eyes. "It was."

She nods slowly. "Once Mother caught me down in Engineering when I 
wasn't supposed to be there. She confined me to quarters for a week 
and took my computer privileges away."

"She must have been pretty upset."

"She was mad. I felt terrible afterwards. I told her I was sorry, but 
she still punished me."

Tom smiles faintly. "And I'll bet you've never gone back to 
Engineering without permission."

"Right. I've learned my lesson. And Mother did forgive me."

"Your mother is a very fair person. You're lucky to have her."

"Are you sorry for what you did?"

"Yes, Naomi. I am."

"And you'll never do it again, right?"

She needs to let this go. I emerge from my hiding place. "Naomi, I 
think you've asked Mr. Paris enough questions."

Both of them turn to look at me. Naomi looks guilty, and I can't 
quite figure out Tom's expression -- gratitude, perhaps?

"Sorry," she begins, but Tom holds up his hand. "No, that's all 
right. I promised the Captain that I would not do it again, and I 
intend to keep that promise."

Naomi is satisfied, and Tom moves through the line, taking some of 
the roast and a small helping of soup. I watch him go, feeling 
foolish all over again. Just before he sits down with Harry, he 
glances over in my direction and nods. All is forgiven.

Relieved, I nod back at him and go back to serving the crew. A half 
hour passes, and soon the room begins to empty out. I excuse Naomi 
with one slice of the roast and one of the pie. Tom pours himself an 
extra cup of coffee and goes back to his seat. Harry leaves soon 
after. I start doing clean-up. Tom remains in his seat, patiently 
nursing the coffee until every other person has left.

I am just getting a stew for Beta shift's dinner onto the stove when 
Tom speaks very close to me.

"I believe I was promised a sizable piece of that Tredian sweet apple 
pie."

"You were," I reply. "And I am a man who keeps his promises." I pull 
two large slices of pie from the oven, where I have been keeping them 
heated. Tom pulls up a stool across from me. I place the pie in front 
of him and sit down with my own.

Tom sniffs at the pie and sighs, then cuts a small piece with his
fork and puts it into his mouth. He closes his eyes while he chews,
then opens them, giving me one of those rare and precious Tom Paris
grins. "Definitely worth waiting for."

I smile back at him. "I'm glad you like it."

He looks serious all of a sudden. "There is only one thing better than
eating a great slice of apple pie."

"And that would be?"

"Eating a great slice of apple pie in such good company."

And I thought the Captain and Commander were accomplished flirts.

His eyes hold mine, and there's no denying that we both know something
new is going on. We're not ready to talk about it yet, but it's there.

We eat the rest of our pie in companionable silence. Tom finally
pushes his plate aside. "Well, I have an early shift tomorrow, so I
guess I will see you at breakfast."

I really don't want him to go. I have this crazy urge to jump over the
counter and throw myself into his arms.

Cover, Neelix, cover. "Good night, Tom, and sweet dreams."

And now his hand is reaching for my shoulder and he squeezes it for
just one precious instant. "You, too."

He walks out, and I settle back into my seat, wondering at what the
two of us have just set into motion...

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The End

(Continued in part five, "The Purge")