The BLTS Archive- Needs I: Paris 
by Kelly (rather_be_reading@yahoo.com)

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Archive: ASC/EM; others please ask

Date:  June 11, 2000

Disclaimer:  The Trek universe belongs to Paramount.

Note -- This story was written last August, but for various reasons I
never got around to posting it to the newsgroups.  I'm getting around
to it now.

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It took the three of us to pull her off the Devoran guard. Tuvok,
Chakotay, and me.  She weighs -- what? 110 pounds? tops? -- but it
still took all three of us.  And even then, she almost killed that
Devoran.

Well, after we clawed her off the guy, Chakotay sort of lost it.  He
wrenched her around to face him, and suddenly he was gripping her
shoulders, shaking her, and shouting.  "Stop it!  Kathryn, stop it! 
Do you hear me?  Kathryn?  It's gone!  Voyager's gone!  Accept it!"

I think it was the word "Voyager," even more than her own name, that
finally got through to her. Anyway, she stopped fighting and stared at
him.

The look on her face was something I never want to see again.  On
anyone.  Ever.

It shook Chakotay, too, because the anger drained from his face, and
he clasped her to him, rocking her back and forth. He whispered, "The
ship is gone, Kathryn.  I'm sorry.  God, I'm sorry."  He didn't try to
hide his tears.

I was a little choked up myself.

But the Captain wasn't crying.  She twisted out of Chakotay's grasp
and glared the hell out of us. "Voyager is not gone!" she insisted. 
"He said the Devorans were keeping it.  So our ship is out there.
Somewhere.  And you're not going to fight for it?"

He.  Kashyk.  The man she had fallen for all those months ago, when
the Devorans had suspected us of harboring telepaths.  Or at least,
she had seemed to fall for him.  They had spent hours together, and
she had practically swallowed him whole that time they kissed in the
shuttle bay when they thought they were alone.  B'Elanna always
believed that entire thing was an act, but I was never sure.

"Captain," said Tuvok, who of course had been standing there like a
slab of rock during all this high drama.  I'm sorry, but sometimes
Vulcans are just too much for me.  I sympathized with the Captain's
temper; I felt ready to jump to warp myself as Tuvok went on in that
emotionless voice of his.  "It is true that Voyager still exists.  But
not, in any meaningful way, for us.  At least not at this moment.  We
must begin to adapt ourselves to our current situation.  And we must
start by seeing to this Devoran."

Damn.  I'd almost forgotten the guard or messenger or whatever he was.
Tuvok nodded toward me, so I dug out the medkit and looked the man
over and fixed him up.  "He'll be fine," I said.  And physically, he
was. Mentally, he was scared shitless, of course, as who wouldn't be?
Janeway on a tear is not a comforting sight, as I can personally
attest. And she hadn't tried to strangle *me*.

"He will no doubt report this assault," said Tuvok neutrally as the
guard scrambled to his feet and took off.

"What the hell is the matter with all of you?" the Captain demanded.
"Let him report to whoever he damn pleases. We've got more important
things to worry about.  Like how to find our ship."

She has been consumed by fury for the past three days, ever since
Kashyk beamed onto the bridge from out of nowhere.  It was the first
-- and I hope the only -- time I have ever seen Kathryn Janeway
utterly at a loss.  She didn't have long to gape, though, because
suddenly Devoran ships were de-cloaking all over the place.

We were outnumbered, and she knew it.  The rage settled on her face
then and hasn't left.  It was there now as she stared at us, hands on
her hips.

Usually I'm happy to see that gesture.  It says she's gone into
kick-ass mode.  But right now, it just seemed a little pointless.  I
mean, what did she think?  That four people, marooned on some sort of
abandoned Devore research station, were going to be able to mount a
big miracle rescue?  We didn't even know what had happened to the rest
of the crew. Kashyk had beamed them all to various Devoran ships,
until only the four of us were left.  He'd made us help his crew fly
Voyager to this hell-hole, given us some basic supplies, and then,
today, dumped us here.  Where he and Voyager had gone was anyone's
guess.

"Well?  Any ideas?" the Captain asked impatiently, looking from one to
the other of us.  She must have been surprised by what she saw in our
faces, because her voice was suddenly plaintive. "Aren't you with me
any more?"

Chakotay took a deep breath and put on that expression I know she
hates. That "you're being unreasonable, but I'm going to try to reason
with you anyway, because I'm a reasonable guy" look.

"Captain," he said, "what exactly is it you think we can do?"

I know I had just been wondering the same thing myself, but now I was
all on her side when I heard it in Chakotay's oh-so-sensible tones.

As for her. . .well, I swear to god, if she'd had a phaser, she would
have fried him.

But she never got a chance to do anything.  Because just then, the
door opened, and that idiot Kashyk was standing there.  I wanted to
smash his face in, and from the look on hers, so did the Captain.

"Choking a Devoran messenger," he said sadly.  "It's not the subtle,
nuanced approach I've come to admire in you, Captain."

"Fuck you," she said.

Tuvok raised both eyebrows at that one.

"If you wish," Kashyk replied.  "But I was thinking of something a
little less extreme.  Say dinner.  And perhaps coffee.  Since you
wouldn't let the messenger deliver the invitation, I've come to ask
you myself."

"She's not going anywhere with you," snapped Chakotay.

Janeway held up her hand.  "It's all right, Chakotay."  She turned to
Kashyk, waiting until he met her eyes.  When she spoke, her voice was
low and sultry.  "He can take me. . . . .,"  she paused, looking him
up and down, ". . . .to dinner if he likes."

Jesus H. Christ, as they used to say in the twentieth century.  What a
line.  What a delivery.  I didn't know where to look.  Chakotay just
looked sick.

Kashyk held out his arm.  And the Captain took it.  And she walked out
the door without a backward glance.

The last few hours have been pretty tense.  None of us wanted to look
like we were just waiting around, but we haven't been very successful
at finding anything else useful to do.  Well, except for Tuvok, who
got busy among the supplies.  Chakotay just flung himself down on one
of the lumpy pads that passes for a bed.  I've been writing this log,
keying in the words instead of speaking them.  Somehow, there isn't
any room for talking in here right now.

---

Well.  She's back.

And I thought things were painful while we were waiting for her.  But
if it seemed like we were in deep shit before, we're just about buried
in it now.

That same messenger brought her to the door, looking like he thought
she was a photon torpedo about to go off.  She came in and dropped
down on one of the beds, saying nothing.  After a few minutes,
Chakotay couldn't take it any more.

"How was dinner?" he asked.

"It was a start," she answered.

"The start of what?"

"Of the process of winning Voyager back.  Why do you think I went with
him?"

I assumed she meant that Operation "Take Me. . . . . .to Dinner" had
gone as planned.  Not that I was about to ask.

But Chakotay couldn't leave well enough alone.  "What do you mean? 
Are you really trying to seduce him into returning the ship?"

Silence.

He just couldn't let it drop.  "Kathryn?  Answer me.  Did you sleep
with him?"

"Commander. . ." Tuvok began.

Chakotay snarled wordlessly at him, but never took his gaze from the
Captain.  "Did you just fuck him?"

She looked up sharply, and I saw the need in her eyes.  The need to
hurt someone, the way the loss of the crew and Voyager and our support
had hurt her.

"It wasn't the first time, Chakotay," she said.

He stared at her, his tattoo standing out vividly as his face paled.

Suddenly she was on her feet, eyes blazing, voice cracking. "What do
you want from me?  Details?  Is that it?  Do you want to know how big
his cock is?  Or how well he uses his tongue?  Or how it felt to do it
against the wall?"

For a minute I thought Chakotay was going to hit her.  She was almost
daring him to try.

But in the end, he just turned away.

---

So now, here we sit.  Tuvok has gone to bed.  Last time I checked, the
Captain was leaning back against the wall, her eyes closed.  But not
sleeping.  Chakotay was sitting with his head in his hands.

And me?  I'm just lounging here, looking at my PADD.

Because it's gotten too hard to look at either of them.

---

The End of Tom's Story