The BLTS Archive - Want by Karen (CP4Karen@aol.com) --- Archive: Yes Warnings: Paramount owns them. I imply no copyright infringement. Companion piece to 'Destiny With Blue Eyes'. POV shifts between characters. --- He wants me. I can sense it in the way he has begun to watch everything that I do. I now tease him by slowly sliding my tongue out to wet my lips and then even more slowly allow it to disappear, leaving just the tip peeking from my red, sex swollen mouth. I can see him wondering who I have been with and I smile to myself, imagining his reaction at finding that I have replicated a dildo using his medical records. It's truly impressive, but the thought of taking the original down my throat...of burying my face in musky red-gold curls... I gently bite the top of my lower lip and watch as his breath catches briefly, making that broad chest stop its rhythmic motion. He goes on with his report, a testament to years of control...on both our parts. He finishes speaking, and the Captain commends him on his thorough investigation into Voyager's status due to the recent increase in alien attacks. His eyes pass over my face and I allow my eyes to show my true emotions for a moment. I smile into my coffee cup as he casually adjusts himself in his chair. He wants me. It's no longer impossible; he is free now. She has finally acknowledged their differences and according to ship's gossip, let him down gently. From his apparent lack of distress, I would say that the chase was mostly an exercise...something continued because it was expected. From the look on her face as she watches him, I would say that she knew the truth long ago. There is no love, no regret, only a fond acceptance that he would hate if he were to look up and see her expression. That isn't likely to happen, though, his eyes seem to be drawn only to me. My reaction to his need begins to burn its way from my eyes straight to my cock. I want him, too. --- I want him. He is doing his level best to drive me insane this morning. He knows of my interest and is using it to tease me. I would say taunt, but there is no malice in his expression...just a heat in those dark eyes that suggests that if I approached him, I would find myself well-fucked for the effort. That in itself confuses me all to hell. For all the talk around the ship about the women we've seen him bed-- his luck is as bad as mine when it comes to finding the right one, there has never been a hint that he would make a move on one person while sleeping with another. And as for a man?? Well, I'm going to have to re-evaluate a few things. Only one thing makes a mouth look like that, and that is trying to suck some guy's lungs out through his cock. Gods, he's doing it again. Wetting those gorgeous red lips. Those fucking *perfect* lips. From their condition, there's *someone* well-satisfied on Voyager this morning. It's obvious that he's freshly-fucked and crawled straight out of bed for shift. That's odd, too. I managed to get close enough to check his scent, and there's nothing but *him*. I know he didn't shower this morning, his scent is pure-- no soap or aftershave...just the nice musky scent of warm man... Shit, that's all it took. One thought about the way he smells and I'm hard again. Actually, I feel like I've been that way forever. All he has to do anymore is look at me, the way he is now, and my cock starts pulsing like the warp core at maximum velocity. Does he want me? --- Oh, yes, I want him. I think I always have. One last teasing lick of my lips, and his eyes dilate and turn to the dark sapphire that I remember from long ago. My smile grows. I know that I am in for the ride of my life, tonight. But, I can see the question in his eyes, now. While he has accepted his want and mine, he now needs the reassurance that this truly isn't just a game. I wonder how many times this man has seen such a look in another's eyes and been burned for his acceptance. Not this time. I smile and see his eyes widen in return. I know that I have surprised him; I have abruptly changed the rules in the middle of our silent negotiations. I have surprised myself... ...because, I finally understand just how much I want from this man. --- Yes, he wants me. Suddenly, I want to shriek with laughter as I see a change come over my soon-to-be-lover. Has he frightened himself? Has he finally, nearly fifteen fucking years of finally, realized what I knew all along? Has he finally realized that all of the anger, the spite, the refusals to sit down and talk things out...came from desperately fighting what was ultimately inevitable...from an attraction so deep and strong and timeless that at times it scared me shitless? Some day, once this is all settled and we have fucked ourselves into paralysis...once he is so exhausted that he will *listen* to me, I will explain just how right we are together. I will explain that I have wanted him since I was fifteen years old. Granted, back then I thought that it was something that would remain unfulfilled, my beautiful dark lieutenant was only to be mine for that one day. I will also explain just how hard his words hit me when we met again in the Maquis. // What makes you think I'm willing to pay a drunken mercenary that much for one flight?// I recognized my dark one, but apparently he didn't recognize me. I will tell him of my time in New Zealand and how hatred, silence and indifference can lead a man to accept an offer he knows is wrong... how the possibility of finding the one that I have needed since I was a child led me to jump at any chance that would take me closer to him. I will explain just how painful want can be. --- I want him. I look across the table and see the golden-headed little boy, the frightened teen, the angry drunken young man who had lost everything. I finally understand his pain and what he has been trying to tell me with his beautiful blue eyes for over a year, now. Has he perhaps understood this...us...all along? There is so much to ask and understand, but first I must make sure he knows that underneath my want and need is love, trust and acceptance just as strong as his own. I love him. I realize that I *do* love him. I also realize that it won't be easy to convince him of that not-so-small fact. The scars are obviously deep, and he is notorious for his ability to shield himself from emotion and the scrutiny of others. However, he has let me see behind the infamous 'mask' this morning, and I am going to do my damnedest to keep him from wearing it in my presence again. I will show my love that having can be just as delicious as wanting. --- The End --- c July1999 Karen