The BLTS Archive - My Highlander
#1: Too Long, This Night
by Karen (CP4Karen@aol.com)

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 Disclaimer: Paramount owns them. I imply no copyright
 infringement.

c1998 Karen

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Chakotay leaned back and rubbed his eyes.  2300.  He really
was too old for this shit.  With a sigh, he leaned forward and
reached for the next padd.  He stopped at the signal from his
door.

"Enter."

Tom stepped through hesitantly.

"You've been in here since 0600."

"I have a lot of work, Tom.  Do you have something that you
need to talk about?"

"Yes. I do.  I'm here to talk to you about a friend of mine who
is in trouble."

The Commander sat up.

"What kind of trouble?"

Chakotay was pretty thorough in staying up with ship's gossip
and he couldn't think of anyone to whom Paris might be referring.

"It's emotional.  He found out that he was in love with someone
and didn't remember it.  When he did finally come around, it
was too late, she lost her memory of the affair and then left the
ship."

The big man frowned.

"Very amusing, Paris.  Did you just get bored and decide to come
and harass me, or is this on a bet?"  Chakotay stood and circled
the desk.  "What were the odds that I would just get up and deck
you?"

Tom's eyes widened marginally but he stood his ground.  A wisp
of a long ago conversation slipped into his mind.

//What was your price this time?//

"No boredom, no bet, Commander.  I'm just worried.  You've been
going through the motions, but that's all." 

Tom moved to sit in one of the chairs next to the desk.  After a
moment, the older man did the same.

"You go to the mess hall, put food on a tray and then stare at it. 
You sit on the bridge but unless we are in crisis mode, you're a
million kilometers away.  You're not sleeping--"

Chakotay sighed.  "How do you know that?"

"I was restocking the on-call medkits in sickbay.  There has
been one hell of a run on sleep-aids, and according to the
records you've been in there every night for the last week."

Chakotay stood and walked over to the port.

"I'll be fine."

"Bull shit."

The Commander didn't even bother to turn.

"You're being insubordinate, Lieutenant."

Tom moved to stand behind him.

"Actually, I'm only guilty of insolence.  You haven't given me
an order yet."

Chakotay shrugged off the warm hand that had appeared on
his shoulder.

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll be fine.  I've had worse
things happen than a disappearing lover."

"Yes, you have.  But after a while, it begins to add up, doesn't it?" 
Tom paced the length of the room and then returned.

"Let's think about this.  We get attacked by the Hirogen and end
up as action figures in their war games.  We just barely get out of
that and that asshole Steth decides to royally fuck with a few minds
by stealing people's bodies."  Tom ran an agitated hand through
his hair and Chakotay wondered which one of them was actually
under more stress at the moment.  He suddenly realized that Tom
was still speaking.

"--I know that I will never be your favorite person.  There's just
too much bad blood between us, but....I want to help.  I think that
I can help.  Gods know, that I have experience in coping with pain."

The older man looked up suddenly to find a pair of startled
blue eyes.

"I...I didn't mean to say that."

Chakotay smiled gently.

"You really do want to help, don't you?"

Tom cocked his head and shrugged.  "Yeah, hell if I know why,
but I do."  He suddenly shook his head.  "No. That's not true,
I do know why."

Watching Tom scuff one booted toe against the carpeting, Chakotay
stretched stiff muscles and then moved to sit on the couch.  "I get
the feeling that this could take a while."  When Tom didn't move
the older man sighed and leaned back to rest his head against the
back of the couch.  Cocking his head to one side, he stared out at the
stars.

"Tom?"

There was a rustling of cloth and then a red-gold head came into view
as the other man sat beside him.

"Sorry.  I was just trying to find some way of saying this that won't
sound silly."

Chakotay snorted.  "How about just saying it?  If for no other reason
than that I could use a laugh."

Tom's head turned and a pair of deep blue eyes met amused brown
ones.  "I really would like for us to be friends."

Chakotay smiled.  Things might be looking up after all.  He had done
deep soul searching after Kellin had gone; wondering why his every
effort to find a woman he could spend his life with turned out so
badly.  The one answer that he had come up with had scared the living 
shit out of him.

Now, looking into the sapphire eyes gazing placidly at him, he began
to wonder what it was that he had ever feared...He grinned again.

"I think we might already be half-way there."

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The End