The BLTS Archive- Paris
Story Three: In The Afternoon
by Karen (CP4Karen@aol.com)

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Disclaimer: Paramount owns them. I imply no copyright infringement.

c1998 Karen

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I have decided that my outburst to the Captain might have been unwise.
Or at least, I should have waited until we were somewhere other than
the bridge.

Kathryn and B'Elanna were involved in yet another nasty little
disagreement; this one over ion flux.

Engineers!

B'Ela was in the right, even the Captain had to admit that, but they
couldn't seem to stop sniping.  On a good lunch, it would have been
bad enough.  This was intolerable. We'd have the entire bridge in
sickbay with gastritis. And.....

I always did have to be the center of attention.

"Captain, it was a mercy fuck, nothing more."

Well, that little non sequitur brought silence.  And it brought me to
the brig.  I'm seriously thinking of hacking into the Captain's
security log just to see how she writes it up.

In the mean time, I sit here with Ayala looking at me like he's dying
to ask about my involvement in the whole debacle. I'm not talking.  In
fact, I think Harry and Tuvok are the only ones talking out of the
entire senior staff.

Boy, that makes for titillating conversation.

Harry.

Actually, the silence of the brig is kind of nice in an austere sort
of way.  At least, Harry isn't hanging on me like some demented koala.
I realize that is cruel, but he is feeding the rumors that are flying
about him and me and...gods....Seven of Nine.

Between Harry's heavy handed comforting and Seven's surprising
compassion, I'm ready to walk out of an air lock.

No.

In truth, it's that very same treatment that's kept me from attempting
it.  Seven's more so than Harry's.  People would be surprised at how
tender our 'Borg'ette can be.

There is nothing between us; between any of us.  People have been sure
for months that Harry and Seven have become lovers, but to say that
they are going slow would be understating the situation.

The man must have balls of iron to be able to actually sleep next to
Voyager's resident Amazon and keep it platonic.  Even more amazing is
when they actually convince me to stay with them and I sleep in the
middle.

The virgin, the whore and the ice queen.

No, that's unfair.  They have been good to me, knowing that to be
alone would be deadly.  So, Harry crowds and Seven makes sure that I
eat and we go on......them waiting for me to finally tell them what's
causing my pain, and me ..... just waiting.

Waiting for some sign in Big Man's eyes that it was more than just a
simple fuck; that he would like to hold me in something other than
anger.

Waiting.

He's too quiet.  There's no emotion as he says good morning. To any of
us, not just me.  It's as if he's a million kilometers away.

It hurts.  It hurts more than it did that first night when he gave me
pleasure and for a brief moment, the hope that I had finally found my
haven of rest.

It hurts.

The look on Ayala's face as I suddenly request to see both the Captain
*and* B'Elanna is worth it's weight in gold pressed latinum.  Before I
know it, the doors open and the pair make their way to my cell.
Kathryn striding as quickly as ever, B'Elanna more slowly, as if
worried about the reason for my request.

I have two options that may work.  First out of the gate? My guilt.

"Kathryn, you have a right to be angry, but you're taking it out on
the wrong person."

Both women look amazed, and Ayala almost overbalances in his chair as
he tries to nonchalantly eavesdrop.  His movement catches the
Captain's eye and she silently dismisses him.  The sight of that
behemoth sulking as he stalks out of the door is comical.

"Continue."

She's not going to make this easy.

"It was just what I said it was, a mercy fuck.  She wanted to let me
down easy.  It's not her fault that everything that I touch, even
remotely, is ruined."

"I think that you're dramatizing things a bit, don't you?"

Two pairs of eyes, one gray, the other dark as night, look right
through me. How is it that this pair of tiny women can intimidate me
so?

"No, Captain, I don't."

OK.  We'll try option two.  Their guilt.

I sigh for effect.

"If your relationship is worth voluntarily causing Chakotay and myself
this much pain, how dare *you* throw it all away!"

Well....I'm a dead man.  The silence this time is heavier than the one
on the bridge.  The Captain simply turns and leaves, but B'Elanna
looks at me for a moment, and then with a small smile, follows her.  A
minute later, Ayala returns grinning.

"I don't know what you said, but you're free to go."

The walk and ride back to my quarters is interminable. Every fucking
member of the crew is either in the turbolift or the corridor.  One
more knowing smirk and I'm going to be right back in the brig.

With a genuine sigh this time, I key my door and escape the prying
eyes.  Leaning against the door, I finally make out a figure in the
darkness, back lit by the stars outside.

"Chakotay?"

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The End