The BLTS Archive - Strange Relationship:
#6: Respite and Resolutions
by Kalita Kasar (kalitafic@hotmail.com)

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Spoiler Warning: Shuttlepod One (by reference)

Archive: Those with previous permissions Yes! All others please ask
first.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They were born in other creative minds,
but they keep intruding into mine, so what's a girl to do? I don't
make any money from this, tis but a labour fraught with love...theirs
and mine.

Authors Note: There is not much in this part in the way of action, but
it is a bit of a respite from the loops twists and turns on this ride
so far. I think it will clear up a few questions some readers have
had.

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Trip regained consciousness slowly. He was immediately aware of two
things. He could move his legs, and he was warm. He sighed. 'I musta
died,' he thought. 'I'm glad it's warm in heaven.'

He allowed his mind to drift; wriggling his toes as he gradually
became aware of other things - sounds and sensations. A soft,
incessant beeping sounded somewhere in the background, and there was a
gentle throbbing vibration that he could feel all through his body.
Both were familiar to him, but he couldn't be bothered working out
why.

"Trip?"

Tucker started when the voice spoke his name. He opened his eyes and a
broad smile lit his features as he met the sea green eyes that looked
down at him. "Hey, Cap'n! You made it too, huh?" He struggled to sit
up but Jon pushed him down gently.

"Easy, you're not supposed to be up and about yet." The captain
smiled.

"Whaddya mean take it easy? I never heard anyone say you hadda take it
easy in heaven!"

"Heaven?" archer laughed softly. "Well, I'll admit Enterprise is a
fine ship, but I wouldn't go that far."

"Enterprise?" Trip frowned as realization dawned; the beeping was a
heart monitor and that vibration was the engine, _his_ engine. He
grinned and struggled to get up again. "I'm alive? I didn't...we
didn't? _Malcolm!_"

"Steady, Trip!" Archer firmly restrained the commander. "Malcolm's
going to be fine. Just lie still...you're both going to be all right."
He released Tucker's shoulders as the commander finally quit trying to
get off the biobed. "You need to rest up for a while, but there's no
major damage done." He glanced over his shoulder towards the sickbay
doors. "I'm not supposed to even be here, but I wanted to check in on
you before I went to sleep."

"I knew we'd make it," Trip whispered. "I told him...I knew." The
commander looked into Archer's eyes. "Even if Enterprise was gone; I
wasn't gonna just lay down and die out there, Cap'n." He glanced
across at the sleeping armoury officer as he remembered that last
desperate act when he had climbed into the airlock; when he'd been
perfectly willing to die - but that was different.

Archer nodded and smiled. "You should sleep," he said. "We can talk
about all this in the morning."

"Okay..." Trip sighed softly. "It's nice to be home," he said, already
drifting back to sleep.

---

Two days after his return from the brink of a cold and lonely death,
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed made his way to the captain's cabin and paused
for a moment before he pressed the door chime. Hearing Archer call for
him to enter, Malcolm stepped into the cabin and came to attention.

"Sir." He said quietly as the captain turned to look at him.

"Malcolm, what can I do for you?"  Archer indicated a chair, but
Malcolm shook his head.

"Thank you, sir, but this won't take long," he said. "I wanted to let
you know I've reached a decision regarding my request for transfer."

"I see." Archer leaned back in his seat and raised an eyebrow. "Go
on."

"Sir, with your permission, I would like to stay with the Enterprise."
Malcolm lowered his eyes for a moment. "I...I think I can contribute
to this mission, sir."

Archer smiled broadly and nodded. "I'm glad to hear it, Lieutenant!"
He extended a hand. "Welcome aboard."

Malcolm shook the captain's hand and grinned. "Thank you, sir." He had
realized when he saw the wreckage strewn across that asteroid that
Enterprise and her crew meant more to him than any group of people, or
any place in his life had ever meant. The crushing sense of loss when
he'd believed them all dead had taken away his ability to think or
reason; had sent him into a black despair that he thought was quite
capable of killing him.

Added to that, was the fact that the one person who was left not only
thought that Malcolm had a death wish, but had been willing to die
himself rather than wait for fate to decide what would become of them.
He still shuddered when he recalled Trip's determination to climb into
that airlock and seal himself in so that Malcolm would have enough air
to survive until Enterprise reached them.

"Was there something else?" Archer's voice cut through his thoughts
and Malcolm shook his head. "No, sir," He gave the captain a half
salute before he turned and left the room.

Walking along the hallway to the lift, his thoughts again turned to
that last hour of lucidity aboard the shuttle.


_"I've invested far too much time trying to figure you out, Mister
Tucker! I'm not about to accept that it was all for nothing!"

 Silence fell between them for several minutes, by that time the air
was getting thin, and the exertion of the brief fight left them both
panting for breath.

"Mister Reed?" Trip said after a while.

"What?"

"I...I hope ya get the chance to figure out a whole lot more about
me." The engineer leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Turning to look at him, Malcolm was galvanized into action. "Wake up!"
He shook the commander hard, forcing him to open his eyes. "Look at
me! You're not going to sleep; do you hear me? You...you stay awake!"

"I'm tired, Malcolm...let me sleep. No use ... tryin n'more."

"Don't you dare ... give up on me now!" Malcolm shook him again and
then, when that seemed to have little effect, he pulled Tucker close
and wrapped the blankets around them both the best he could._


Malcolm shook himself out of his reverie as he approached his own
quarters. Apart from the brief time in sickbay, he hadn't seen Trip
since that day. He keyed an access code into his door and walked into
the empty cabin.

He stood in the middle of the room, looking around and frowned. He had
decided to stay on Enterprise, because he realized that these people
were more of a family than he'd experienced ever in his life. Yet here
he was, alone and lonely just as he had been before the Enterprise
found the Shuttlepod _Galileo_ adrift in space. He sighed.

Malcolm had often wondered what it was in him that prevented him
getting close to anyone. When he was younger he'd explained it away by
telling himself he was focussed on his career. His father had drummed
it into him that advancement was more important in the early stages of
a career than companionship. He had managed to convince himself that
was true for a few years.

But then, there had been times when he did desire companionship, when
he wanted a relationship with someone, and still the barriers would
come up.

It was happening again with Trip. He had been attracted to the
commander for months and had not acted on it because of the fear that
he would screw up again. Of course that was exactly what he had done.
No sooner was he in a position to explore the possibility of a
relationship than old habits set in and he found himself stuck in a
pattern that had ruined every relationship he ever had.

_"You want me with ya an' then y'don't, I never know what's goin' on
with you."_

Trip's words flitted through Malcolm's mind. He had heard the same
thing from every person, male or female that he ever tried to have a
relationship with. He'd tried to explain it to Trip, back there on the
shuttle, when the commander had grown tired of listening to him
writing letters.

_"Those girls I talked about, Rochelle, Deborah, Caitlin - none of
them worked out because I could never get close to them."_

That was it. He never got close to anyone; never allowed himself to
get close. His paranoia and insecurity drove him either to attempt to
control every aspect of the relationship or to push the person away
until they gave up on him.

Malcolm closed his eyes and let his head fall against the back of the
sofa. He wished that Trip were there with him. He wanted to be with
the blue-eyed commander more than he'd ever wanted anything, and yet
he was afraid to pull the man back into the pathetic dance that
Malcolm Reed called having a relationship. He pressed the heels of
both hands to his eyes. Maybe he should just get some sleep. He was
still recovering from the harrowing ordeal on Shuttlepod One and
didn't feel entirely up to a confrontation with the commander just
yet.

That it would be a confrontation, Malcolm was sure of. Trip never went
about anything he did subtly. Reed smiled slightly at the thought.
Perhaps that was a part of the man's appeal. He had a big mouth, and
he was not averse to using it if he thought that it would gain him
something he wanted.

At the same time though, it had also saved them a lot of unnecessary
posturing when Trip insisted on explaining why Malcolm had encountered
him leaving the captain's quarters in such a dishevelled state the day
of their ill-fated mission. Malcolm was well aware that he needed a
partner who would not be afraid to shoot from the hip when it was
needed.

Maybe, just maybe, Charles Tucker III was that man. Malcolm yawned and
stretched out on the sofa, too tired to bother moving to the bed for
the moment. Within moments he was sound asleep.

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The End