The BLTS Archive- The Answer
by Captain Kate (captainkate@postmaster.co.uk)

---

DISCLAIMER: Yeah yeah, we all know they're not mine and
that I'm not reaping any sort of material reward for these
endeavours.

WARNING: Definitely NC17, so off you go, all you who are
under 18.

This was my first ever J/C fanfic attempt, so be nice.
Looking at it now, it now reads like the beginner's guide to J/C,
unfortunately.

---

"Status."

Janeway's deep command voice cut through the serene
atmosphere of Voyager's Bridge as she swept out of the
turbolift and took her seat next to Chakotay. A sudden
bustle of activity suggested slacking, and caused her
features to darken further.

"Uh, this area of space has been unremarkable for some time
now Captain." Harry Kim spoke up from his post at Ops. "The
nearest star system is 7.5 light years away, there are
three M-class planets in an system of seven, none
supporting advanced humanoid civilisation as far as we can
tell right now. We're not detecting any evidence of ships
having passed here recently, so I'd guess that..."

"Thank you Mr Kim." The Captain cut him off abruptly. She
inclined her head towards Torres at the Engineering
console. "And how are the engines lieutenant?"

"Fine Captain, currently running at 86% efficiency."
B'Elanna tried not to sound too proud - an impressive
statistic even in the Alpha Quadrant, where regular repairs
and maintenance were far more comprehensive. Her pride was
short-lived however, as Janeway spoke petulantly:

"Well perhaps you'd be better off down in Engineering
seeing about that remaining 14%." Silence. Janeway turned
straight faced to B'Elanna who was staring. She started,
then complied, bewildered,

"Yes Captain."

A sharp exhalation came from the helm.

"Is there a problem Mr Paris? Perhaps you'd like to help Ms
Torres by cleaning the warp plasma manifolds?"

Paris' shoulders stiffened,

"No Ma'am."

"Good. Mr Tuvok, you have the Bridge until the Commander
has finished his reports. I'll be in my Ready Room if I'm
needed." She spoke almost in a monotone.

"Aye Captain." The Vulcan's voice was uncharacteristically
quiet.

Janeway glared at him as she passed, the implicit criticism
not lost on her. Harry and Tom looked at one another and
pulled faces, before Chakotay hastened them back to work.

---

Janeway sat primly behind the desk in her Ready Room and,
having replicated herself some coffee, picked up the first
of the data padds which contained the previous shift's
general reports. She spoke aloud to herself as she perused
the first.

"Thirty particles of space-dust per cubic metre, one class
two comet, yada yada yada......." The padd was dropped
unceremoniously to the table, her head flopped back against
her chair; she rolled her eyes. She was not tired, and she
was not physically weary - it was not even 0900 hours yet,
yet she felt a distracting impatience for the day to be
over so she could brood unbothered. Her mind was brimming
with facts and information, with details and items that she
wanted to put aside but could not. It was becoming a
deafening clamour, and she felt, today more than usual, the
huge responsibility to hold everything together.

The Captain in her accepted the headaches and the insomnia,
so long as her crew were getting along, but she vainly
wished sometimes that she could just leave them to get on
with it. And then there was Chakotay. He didn't seem at all
happy of late, but she hadn't pressed him. She had learned
on new Earth to keep a distance when he was brooding. He'd
shut himself off from her many times during their time
there, and pandering to him just made him withdraw further,
as if his sadness was some burden that he couldn't share
with anybody, an intensely personal thing.

This time, however, she wanted to reach out to him. She
imagined him passive in her arms, she cradling him to her,
his head in her bosom, holding her tight. Janeway forced
herself to banish such imaginings. The decision had been
made, and she could not go back on that now. It was `for
the best'. So why didn't she feel at her best?

Turning her attention back to the day's business she winced
as she recalled B'Elanna's child-like, innocence seeking for
approval earlier that morning. She had deserved praise, not
remonstration, but there were just too many things rushing
around her head.......was that an excuse she was attempting.

She caught herself by surprise and pulled up short. With
elbows on the table and her face in her hands she fought
down a lump in her throat. This was ridiculous. There was
nothing in particular wrong, she just felt tired and taut,
stretched, and unable, or unwilling, to cope with the
everyday things. They made her impatient, snappish, as if
they were below her consideration, and she knew she was
wallowing. She had begun to understand the part that her
long-subdued feelings for Chakotay played in her melancholy
state, worried herself with the temptation to give in and
shirk her responsibilities for once. This was an unsettling
recognition in herself, and she felt her sense of duty
failing as her mood spiralled.

A chime from the door forced her back into the best
Captain-like state she could summon at that time, and she
called for the visitor to enter;

"Come in. Ah Commander, good news I hope?"

Her First Officer smiled warmly as he approached her desk.

"I hope so."

Janeway made a face, did not return his smile.

"No, no, everything's fine," Chakotay quickly added,
"Everything, for want of a better word, is running about
average. Within acceptable parameters," he added tritely.
He noted the slump of his Captain's shoulders, the lines of
fatigue on her face.

"Everything except you, it would seem."

"Me?" Janeway seemed to remember where she was, sat up
straight.

"I'm fine Commander, now if there wasn't anything
else....?" She knew that he saw she was not at her best,
and she looked back down at the padd hoping he'd leave so
she wouldn't have to level with him.

"Captain?"

Nothing.

"Kathryn!" he intoned, and she looked up sharply. "I
needn't remind you that an unhealthy Captain is no good to
her crew."

"Well thank you for your concern Commander, but I'm just a
little tired." She had her `I'm humouring you' face on,
"Now I'm sure you--"

"Stop dismissing me!" He cut her words short. "As your
First Officer - and as somebody who cares about you - it's
my duty to look out for you when you're too busy to do it
yourself."

Janeway sighed deeply and forcefully, obviously irritated.
She felt as if Chakotay's concerned attention was just
another `thing' for her to contend with, to juggle along
with everything else. The last thing she felt she needed
now was to take up this 'obligation'.

"Noted Commander. Dismissed."

"Kathryn?!" Chakotay almost spluttered, incredulous.

"You - are - dismissed." She glared at Chakotay over the
padd.

He spoke quickly. "You can dismiss your First Officer, but
you can't dismiss your friends." He knew he was playing
with fire, she was giving him the death-glare. "I'm
concerned for you Kathryn." He softened his tone, hoping
that he could soften her mood, but to no avail. She threw
the padd down.

"What do you want from me Commander?" She stood sharply,
her arms wide as if hoping to embrace the answer which
escaped her. "Because I don't know why you're here." She
felt wound tight, that her temper might break free any
minute. She could feel the blood rising in her face.

"Don't be difficult Kathryn - you know -"

"Difficult?" She spat the word out. She was angry now, and
confused, not a good combination for her, she knew.
Somewhere inside she knew he was right, she knew this side
of her. The attitude would rear up, protective, distancing.
The fact that she was behaving like this towards everyone,
even those who came to her with concern for her, made her
wonder just how in control she was of this reflex. She felt
she was losing her grip, a vicious circle.

"You know what I mean. You've been grouchy and snappy for
days now." Chakotay rarely raised his voice, but he was
growing louder by the minute. "I mean - what was all that
about on the Bridge just now?"

"Grumpy......snappish...." She was muttering under her
breath, pacing back and forth behind the desk, and her eyes
were wild.

Chakotay suddenly found himself in unfamiliar territory. Oh
he'd seen her angry before, but somehow this didn't quite
fit this picture. He'd seen her upset, melancholy even, but
he got the feeling that wasn't it either. She seemed
desperate in some way, and he hesitated, uncertain as to
what to say next.

Watching her, looking at her properly now, she seemed
ruffled somehow. Her skin was blotchy, pallid, and she was
twitchy, not her usual, meticulously controlled self. He
could see the pulse throbbing in her throat as she
continued to pace, apparently unaware of him.

Chakotay felt an overwhelming rush of protectiveness to
this suddenly small woman before him. She stood still now,
hands on hips, lips pursed, staring not at the floor but
somewhere beyond it. He approached her, placed a hand on
one elbow. She jumped as if a shock had passed through her.

"Oh for goodness sake, not now Chakotay." she said tiredly.
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished them
unsaid, but it was too late. His expression shuttered, his
eyes suddenly far away, and she knew she'd hurt his
feelings. She felt wretched, the nervous energy that had
been keeping her animated rapidly dissipating. Chakotay had
been her tower of strength over the past difficult months,
and she'd unashamedly leaned on him. But after New Earth,
she'd felt too self-conscious to let him in to her life any
further. But she couldn't reach out to him now. She was
angry and bothered and generally prickly. She hesitated too
long, and Chakotay made his excuses and left the Ready Room.

At the sight of his rapidly retreating back she lost
patience again, peevishly rolled her eyes to the heavens,
hands on hips. She crossed the room to the couch, pulled up
jerkily as if uncertain what to do with herself, and sat
abruptly down. With the release of the tense energy that
had governed her over-controlled movements during
Chakotay's visit, she suddenly felt weak. Her body began to
relax into the seat, her shoulders slumped, her hands fell
flat beside her legs. A wave of mental fatigue accompanied
the physical, hot tears sprang to her eyes and her lips
fell into a sullen pout as she began to wallow in her
misery. She felt immensely confused.

With the ship running perfectly efficiently, and the crew
managing to get along just fine - hell most of them were
probably in Sandrine's together this very minute - why did
she feel so wretched?

The thought of her crew laughing and socialising together
on the holodeck caused an odd tightening in her gut, that
revealed more of truth to her than she cared to admit, and
she dismissed the cosy French Bistro from her mind. Taking
a deep breath she closed her eyes and recited a short
litany to herself. Be fair but be firm, do your job - but
play nice. Smiling sadly to herself and trying to assert
some semblance of calm within her overwrought frame she
returned to the Bridge for the remainder of the shift,
knowing that wallowing in her Ready Room all by herself
could only darken her mood, and aggravate her irritability
further.

---

Chakotay was in his seat tapping away at a padd. He had
called up the week's duty rosters, but was flipping
absently through them and not really looking. She felt the
pangs of guilt; decided to try to make up.

"Something on your mind Commander?" she asked softly as she
took her seat beside him.

"No Ma'am, just checking the rosters." He said nothing,
didn't even make eye contact. Ok, she thought, I deserved
that much. But it was so important to her that they be on
speaking terms. He was her rock, she just hoped she had
something to offer in return.

"Any problems?"

"No Ma'am." Chakotay's attention remained on the
information before him. Didn't she realise he was tired
too? That he was starting to tire of having her lean on him
when she needed the command support, of using him as her
emotional punch-bag, yet never receiving the gratitude he
felt he deserved? This was the trouble with quiet times on
deep space missions, he knew. With no work as such to focus
on, crews often had far too much time dwell on other
things, and out in space away from anything familiar, dwell
they did. He understood that as First Officer he was there
to support the Captain, to act as her second, her
foundation - that was `the Starfleet way' - but he felt
himself ever returning to the now cliche fact - that they
were a long way from Starfleet. He was also mindful of the
fact that this mission was more `deep space' than most, and
that he should try to adjust to the situation, but he felt
himself falling prey to the introspective dwelling that
such quiet isolation was wont to engender.

His feelings for his Captain would never change so long as
this odd situation ensued, he knew that much. But for as
long as this odd situation ensued he knew equally that it
was unlikely she would relent. He thought about New Earth
and how close they had been, and wondered what had happened
to make them both so boorish of late. Thinking of their
time together caused a dull ache of sorrow to begin in the
pit of his stomach. Beginning to regret his earlier
irritation, he now glanced sideways at her. She had one arm
resting on her thighs, and the other supported her lowered
head. She pinched the bridge of her nose as if in pain and
he felt a pang of concern, yet tempered still with a slight
grudge. When she looked up however her mouth was stern-set
and controlled, and moisture glistened in her eyes. She
stood up and passed quickly to her Ready Room.

Chakotay,surprised, toyed with the idea of trying to talk to
her once more, but he couldn't shake his downtrodden
feeling, and was not in the mood to be rejected again. The
strength of his feelings, he thought ironically, only meant
that she could hurt him more. Before he could decide she
returned to the Bridge, sweeping past him to the turbolift.

"I'm going off duty. Commander you have the Bridge."

---

Two short hours later Captain Janeway was dropping her
bathrobe and slipping slowly into a hot, foaming
bubble-bath. Ah now, this was the life! This was what it
felt to be human again! She laughed softly to herself,
feeling the muscles in her shoulders relaxing and her
moodiness washing away. Her thoughts turned to her crew and
to the ship, but after a few hours on the holodeck running
her Da Vinci program, and now a luxurious bubble-bath, her
thoughts were somewhat calmer than earlier. Her thoughts
about her Number One, however, were less than calm.

As she felt herself getting agitated again, she forced the
feeling down and attempted to analyse it. Chakotay meant
well, he always did, and she doubted that - at least as far
as she was concerned - he could ever truly `mean' anything
else. Yet he must understand - no matter what happened on
New Earth life on Voyager must be very different. She knew
this as a fact, but in the peace and calm of her bathtub it
was a truth that resounded only hollowly inside her, not
quite affirmed. Something got a grip on her and she felt a
familiar despair come over her. She knew the feeling well
but did not fully understand it. She had tried to pass it
off as many things, but today she fixed upon loneliness.

Was she lonely? There was always company to be had, but was
she lonely? Her doorchimes startled her from her thoughts,
and she silently cursed for not having silenced them. She
ignored their summons. They sounded once more, and again
insistently. She heard a voice outside. It was Chakotay.

"Computer, what is the current location of Captain
Janeway?"

He was using his command tones and it made Janeway smile
wanly. Her big stern First Officer, whom she knew as such a
gentle man underneath. She felt a twinge of sadness and
shivered as images of his face close to hers, and the feel
of his breath on her forced their way into her mind. She
rose from the bath and stepped out, dripping onto the floor
of the bathroom, intending to answer the door now Chakotay
knew she was here, but as she bent to pick up her robe from
where she had discarded it, a movement in her quarters
caught her eye and she looked up to see that Chakotay had
let himself in and was now carefully averting his gaze.
Hastily covering herself up she exited the bathroom.

"Chakotay?"

He looked very sheepish.

"It's ok, I'm decent. Now!"

He looked up, pleasantly surprised at the obvious
improvement in her mood. "I'm sorry for barging in, but I
thought......the computer.....but..." he smiled a lopsided
smile and shrugged, but he was shaken by the sight of his
naked Captain. Everything he'd imagined.

"I can't say I condone your actions, but I certainly
appreciate the sentiment. Now, can I get you anything? Or
is this not a social call?"

"Yes. I mean, no. Er - yes, this is a social call, and
thank you, nothing for me."

As she busied herself at the replicator, he wondered whether
he should come clean. He had barged into her quarters, but
not for the reasons she was imagining. She assumed that he
had been concerned for her safety. The fact was that he'd
known she was ignoring him, and he'd used his security
clearance to let himself in to have his say, whether she
liked it or not.

He wondered that she was not more annoyed at the intrusion
but her mood, being very much unfitted to the fight he had
been expecting, was rapidly leaving him feeling deflated and
rather foolish, a feeling he did not relish. His anger was
also coloured by a kindling desire, as her robe began to
cling damply to her.

"You seem to have cheered up?" he said lamely as they sat
down together.

"I'm a little more relaxed, yes," her eyes had a far-away
look to them, "but not much happier." If only that which
would make me happier was easier to reach out and take, she
thought.

Chakotay did not follow her train of thought. So, he
thought, it's going to be like this again. Since their
`conference' that morning he had been growing more and more
bitter, and was feeling less than charitable now. His
feelings were once again bubbling up towards anger. He
decided to bite the bullet.

"Kathryn, I feel-" he stopped, unable to go on. He couldn't
find the words. Being mean was not in his nature but he
felt so used.

"Yes?"

Chakotay sat silent for long, drawn-out moments.

"What is it Chakotay?" She laid a hand on his arm but he
shook his head and shrugged her off. Eventually Kathryn
shook her head. "Chakotay, I'm very tired -"

He interrupted her abruptly by standing up; he took a few
paces then turned back to face her, the scowl on his face
having deepened.

"It's about you again!"

"What?" Kathryn shook her head, frowning slightly.

"It's about you again. Your bad day, your rotten mood, your
stress. Well what about everyone else Kathryn?"
Taken aback by his attack, she was silent for a moment.
Chakotay continued.

"You pace around the Bridge, barking at people who are
having just as hard a time as you, if not worse; you hole
yourself up in your Ready Room, and only come out to check
up on us or to criticise." He glared angrily at her from
his standing position a few feet away.

Kathryn's eyes had started to shine over, and the set of her
jaw was stern, indicating that she was desperately trying to
control her expression.

"No!" he almost shouted - "Don't you cry! This is not about
you! This is about you taking your attention away from your
own sorry hide long enough to notice that other people are
having a hard time too, without you making it harder."

Janeway had risen to standing now, and she answered him
back calmly. "You know that I put this crew first
Chakotay -"

"No!" he interrupted, "Don't do your calm Captain routine
on me. It's not going to work! You're acting like a cold,
self-centred woman who thinks of no-one but herself."

"I've had just about enough of this." Her voice was shaky
but she walked to the middle of the room, forcing Chakotay
to turn to face her. Hands on hips she addressed him in a
quiet voice. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately
but I sure as hell don't like it. What do you mean, coming
in here questioning my Captaincy? I should have you thrown
in the brig for speaking to me like this."

This was not an idle threat, but Chakotay was transfixed by
the outline of her curves beneath the thin robe now that she
had stood.

Her aggressive posture had forced her chest outwards, and
he found it difficult to remain focused on her face and her
words.

"I'm waiting for an answer Chakotay."

Much quieter, his anger diffused, Chakotay answered
absently, sadly; "I just feel like you don't take enough
notice of.....us.....these days." He stopped. He had been
about to say `enough notice of me', and then in a horrible
moment he realised she had seen this.

They stood in the centre of the room, she still posturing
aggressively, he now looking decidedly submissive. Janeway
was horrified. So this was what it was all about!

"Chakotay, she began quietly, not looking him in the face.

She didn't know what to say now. It had all been said - on
Voyager they could be no more than Captain and Commander.
She raised her face to look into his eyes and was startled
to catch him raking his eyes over her thinly clad frame. A
thrill of excitement shot through her and she felt her body
respond. It had been some time since anybody had looked at
her that way, and she found it very appealing now. As she
looked at Chakotay looking at her, she felt like a voyeur.
She continued to look on in this way, trying to see through
the anger that had brought him here. She saw a small boy,
bewildered and uncertain.

Chakotay looked up and found her watching him, a sensuous
pleasure evident on her fine features, mouth slightly open,
and the boy vanished. He had a haunted, hungry look in his
eyes, and she could only stare back. The thrills that had
begun with his looking now shot through her body, from her
toes to her fingertips, and she felt the material of the
robe chafe tightly across her breasts as they grew
sensitive. It was as if she was waking up from a deep sleep
to find the answer that had been eluding her.

"Captain?" His voice was hoarse, he looked down.

"Yes?" she breathed.

"I'm.....so sorry. I shouldn't bring my
own.....inadequacies......to you - I -" A pause, he looked
up, new decision on his face, but weary. "I have to be as
honest with you as I know how, if this is going to work at
all. But I don't want you to judge me. Just try to
understand."

Janeway was silent. He continued:

"Ever since New Earth, all that time ago, I've been unable
to go back to thinking of you as just my Captain. I've
grown demanding of your attention in the smallest of ways,
but in so many. I wanted you, I needed you....so much. I
thought I'd be OK, but the strength of this thing....it's
beyond me. But no matter what my feelings are for you, a -
bitterness - " he spat the word out, a lump in his throat
and tears in his eyes "is growing within me. And it brought
me here tonight determined to hurt you. But it's hurt me
more. And I'm ashamed." He hung his head and waited.

After what seemed an eternity Kathryn moved to the couch
and sat. "Come. Sit." she commanded.

Chakotay did as he was bidden. He felt as though he were
torturing himself. He knew what she would say. He waited in
defeated silence for `the talk'. But she did not speak.
She was partially turned towards him on the couch, and they
just sat.

Kathryn reached out for Chakotay's hands, clasped in his
lap. She took them between her own, and he watched her study
them. She felt again the thrill of his watching her. Was she
making a mistake? No, it was not possible. The terrible
sensations she had felt when she thought he had begun to
hate her, when he had started saying all those things, had
almost choked her. And shortly after, the `answer', such as
it was, to all her misery, her unhappiness, her depression,
was that without Chakotay she was so much diminished. She
couldn't do this without him. For those few moments when
she thought he might withdraw she had been truly afraid.

She had leaned selfishly upon his good humour and his
giving nature when she needed him, but she had shied away
from the natural progression of such a partnership, and had
given him nothing. Chakotay had recognised this
partnership, but would never force the issue. And so he had
locked it all away inside, confused at her mixed signals.
It would seem that she had been selfish and introverted, at
least to an extent. A pained look flitted across her face
as she understood Chakotay's position. She looked up into
her First Officer's face and saw a recognition there, as if
he had been able to follow her every thought.

Closing her eyes she raised Chakotay's hands to her mouth
and kissed each of his fingertips in turn. She
half-laughed, suddenly unsure of herself, and dropped their
hands to her lap. She looked up questioningly. Would he be
mad at her? Meeting his eyes she almost wilted, as yet
another electric thrill passed through her.

Chakotay's eyes were dark, his pupils dilated and his
sensuous lips slightly apart. He leaned forward tentatively,
brushing his lips against hers, a whisper of a kiss, then
moving back to see her reaction. He hardly dared that she
would allow him to continue. Her eyes were closed and her
face upturned, expectant.

She did not expect the sudden, urgent pressure of Chakotay's
mouth down on hers, the hands locked into her hair, or the
thrust backwards onto the couch with Chakotay over her. She
felt as if she could not kiss him hard enough. Relishing the
feel of his heavy body pressing down on hers, their lips and
tongues clashing, making her breathless and causing her
entire being to tingle wildly.

She could feel his whole body along the length of her own
through the flimsy robe, as he leant over her on his
elbows, holding her face in his hands. They broke the kiss,
gasping through the sheer power of feeling and emotion.

"Kathryn," he whispered, "I've wanted this so much, please
don't-"

"Hush Chakotay," she answered hoarsely, "I'm here." She
brought a knee up between his, forcing their heated bodies
into closer contact. She drew in a sharp breath as she felt
his hard length press into her groin, an intense heat
spreading through her abdomen and between her legs.
Chakotay was touching her face, running his fingers over
her nose, her cheekbones, her lips.

"You're so beautiful." He shook his head gently, no more
words would come. Their mouths met again, tasting,
exploring.

Chakotay kissed her hard and long, began to lay a trail of
kisses and bites down her neck to her shoulder. She could
only lie still, almost not breathing as he softly brushed
the satin robe from her shoulders, and began dropping
kisses on her breasts, circling his tongue around one
sensitive nipple, then the other. She reached for his head,
locking her fingers into his hair.

"Oh Chakotay!"

"Do you want me?" his voice was barely audible.

"God yes! I need you!"

She felt a tug at her waist as the belt of the robe was
discarded and the garment fell completely away. Feeling
suddenly exposed she sat up abruptly. Chakotay was kneeling
in front of her, his face only inches from her own, as she
had imagined so many times. She shivered at the thought of
the fulfilment of all of her daydreams and dark fantasies.

"What is it?" his eyes dark with desire. She leaned forward
to taste his lips once again.

"Take me to bed Chakotay." she asked, her voice low. Slowly
he stood and she helped him undress, coy in her nakedness,
but shivering with desire. Her skin was alive with
sensations, she wanted to feel him all over her, all at
once. His clothes discarded he pulled her to him, and she
felt light-headed at the sensation of skin on hot skin. Her
breasts were pressed flat against his broad chest, his
arousal firm at her belly as he enveloped her with his arms
and kissed her deeply, as if he would draw her into himself.

Not wanting to move away from him, to break this
long-awaited union, she turned in his arms, fitting their
curves together, then took his hand before beginning to
lead him to the bedroom. They reached the bed but before
she could turn, Chakotay forced her forwards onto the bed
until she was lying full length on her front. He loomed
over her, and she shivered at his closeness, and spasmed
with pleasure as she felt his hard length bumping her
buttocks. He leaned down to her ear, whispering,

"I wanted this for so long. Now I'm going to drive you
wild, just like you do to me." He kissed the shell of her
ear, sucked on the lobe, he kissed her neck slowly
downwards, dropping bites on he shoulders. Small noises
were escaping her now, as he kissed and nuzzled every part
of her he could reach, so gently, but she could feel her
arousal building uncontrollably.

Everywhere he touched her, she felt herself awakening. He
ran his hands down her back, and over her behind, kissed
the backs of her thighs, running his fingers tantalisingly
close to her hottest part.

"I want you Chakotay," she whispered, turning over, "I want
you so much!"

"Do you know how many times I've thought about making love
to you?" he growled, as he moved over her, "So many. Do you
know what you do to me?"

"Please Chakotay!" Her eyes were closed, and she bit down
on her bottom lip. She felt his erection against her,
reached a hand down between their bodies to touch him;

"Oh Kathryn," He squeezed his eyes tight shut and took a
deep breath, concentrating with the effort of not ending it
all right there. He could almost not believe that he was
here, and that she was here, willing under his hands,
wanting him in the very way he had prayed that someday she
would. The physical arousal he felt was but a part of the
sensation being with Kathryn gave him.

Slowly he moved over her, placing his hot length at the
moistness between her legs. As he entered her, her eyes
opened to look straight into his, her mouth forming a
silent O of pleasure, and her hips bucked under him,
pulling him deep inside her. Kathryn wrapped her legs
around him, pulling his whole body to her, and bit down on
his shoulder as a low, animal moan came from her lips. Gone
was the slow tenderness that had begun the lovemaking.

Driven wild by her arms and legs, silken bonds, wrapped
around him and pulling him to her, Chakotay thrust hard
into her, withdrew almost completely, then drove in harder
again, and again. She was barely aware that the sounds she
heard were her own carnal cries of lust mingled with his
deeper tones. The fire in her belly had grown to dynamic
proportions and was sending wave after wave of uninhibited
pleasure throughout her body. She tried to hold Chakotay
tighter, but their bodies were slippery with sweat.

Desperately she thrust upwards to meet her lover. She heard
him draw a ragged, noisy breath, and felt him pulse inside
her. The waves of pleasure converged and filled her, and
face to face they stared open-mouthed, panting, until the
moment had passed.

"Oh gods Kathryn." Chakotay relaxed against her, and they
both lay quiet for a while, breathing deeply, savouring the
aftershocks of their lovemaking. Still slightly out of
breath Chakotay raised himself to look into her eyes.

"Hey you," he said softly, smiling. "I had planned for
something a little more leisurely...." Kathryn smiled, and
looked at him through half-closed eyes-

"Plenty of time now." and she held him to her.

They lay dozing for some time until Kathryn shifted
slightly underneath him.

"I'm so tired, Chakotay. You tired me out."

He could hear the smile in her voice, and grinned into the
pillow under his head. Falling into a companionable, dreamy
rest, the last thing Chakotay heard was his Captain's soft
tones,

"I love you too, Chakotay."

---

The End