The BLTS Archive- Unguarded (Or How Janice Saved the Whole Timeline, But Nobody Gave Her Any Credit For It Because Nobody Knew) by J. Juls (jjuls@tbc.net) --- Disclaimer: I do not own any Starfleet personnel, the Guardian, or Edith, in any timeline; I claim only this kooky journey. In all timelines there is a Paramount. It's a slightly different story when McCoy goes through the Guardian this time. Sorry, only PG! (Edith ain't that kinda gal.) This is a sequel to my story Wigs, although it takes place before/prevents Wigs. Dang time machines! Part of the Doctor Fuh-Q Fest. --- Golmac did not speak as the insignificant hominid lifeform picked up her two primitive devices and vanished. More tedium awaited -- this was not a guess, but a fact. Golmac could fast-forward through this time strand to check, and, yes, tedium, tedium; the planet in which it was anchored circled its dead sun five, ten, twenty times, and yet no one appeared, no one, no one ... wait! Golmac played the event again. Three more times it played the event. The event that would bestow Golmac's own destruction. Time flowed, unmolested, in its own paths, of course; normal petty events were of little importance to Golmac. But now, Golmac would be in jeopardy. And such a situation could not be allowed to arise. [*I* am my own beginning and my own end. No mere hominid creature will be allowed to disrupt *my* existence!] Doggedly, it searched back, back along this time strand to find the branch that had changed everything. Golmac found the branch. It was the last journey, the journey by the intricately-coiffed lifeform which had last emerged. Her journey, somehow, had changed things in unexpected ways. Golmac quit following the time strand and explored through space instead. It located the lifeform, now in a spacegoing vessel typical of those of her kind. Golmac listened in on the trivial life of this organism. --- "Christine, can I see you in my quarters for a minute?" "Certainly. What's wrong, Janice?" "Oh, nothing's wrong; nothing's wrong! At least not now! And that's what I have to tell you about!" --- Looking forward through time and space, Golmac continued to observe these lifeforms. How strange that such motes of dust could somehow snuff out its being! --- "Since the days of the first wooden sailing ships, captains have enjoyed the privilege of joining two people in the bonds of matrimony ..." --- The "Janice" lifeform and the "Christine" lifeform stood before another familiar creature, the "Jim" lifeform. Some type of ceremony was being performed. Typical of lower lifeforms. Golmac searched further. --- The "Janice" lifeform lay supine on a table of some sort. She produced a great deal of noise -- grunting, moaning and puffing in typical organic fashion. "You just trust in your old country doctor, Janice. I've birthed a whole passel o' babies." "Dr. McCoy, *why* must you talk like that? Is it to humor me? Because I'm in no mood for humor right nooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" "Don't scream, Janice. Push! You can do it! Push!" --- It was the "Christine" lifeform again. She and the "Janice" lifeform seemed to have developed a bond. Golmac searched parallel timestreams. This moment was indeed repeated in no other. --- "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" "I see the baby's head, Janice," said the "McCoy" lifeform. "It's almost time." "Here's another contraction, Janice. One more push and our baby should be here!" The "Christine" lifeform seemed eager. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Various bodily fluids spurted throughout the room, followed by the organic spawn. The "Janice" lifeform flopped back onto the table. The "Christine" and "McCoy" lifeforms were jubilant. The spawn wailed annoyingly, and in its bloody, swollen face, Golmac saw the face of Death. --- Golmac searched further. --- "Now, Leslie, you know you really shouldn't." "But, Mommmmm!" "You *do* have to be more careful with those black hole experiments of yours, Leslie. Remember what happened to Starbase 47." "But, but, that was an *accident*! I only wanted to ... " "Admiral Blowhard was *very*, *very* upset when he finally got back to our dimension." "Mother ... " "Aye, Lassie. Your parents are correct. Ye ought not to be messin' with creatin' artificial singularities ... " "But they were only ... " "Aye, only wee ones. Yet, the bairns could still send a mighty temporal shock into the cosmos. Particularly near certain brown dwarf stars, like where we are today, lass. Ye'd best wait until ye get to a facility with proper shieldin'." "You ... you grownups just aren't *any* fun! I know what I'm doing! Dr. Theorhsorjfirogf says I'm a *genius*! And I *am*! Doesn't Captain Kirk let me drive the ship all the time, huh, doesn't he, huh, huh?" The strident, annoying lifeform then left its residence and proceeded to a location near the ship's antimatter control conduits. The event which Golmac had seen was replayed again. The existence of Golmac was extinguished. This event could not be allowed to happen. Golmac's creators had installed in it the ability to move time and space, not merely for objects passing through its portal, but for everything, including Golmac itself and the planet on which it stood. But great amounts of energy were required for such activity. Golmac had, therefore, never attempted this action. To do so now, however, was vital. Golmac anchored itself in space-time and began to pull. Ponderously, time flowed forward over it as it pulled itself backward, until a time-string branch approached, the branch caused by the troublesome, amber-topped lifeform. Golmac strove toward the fork in time, ever backward. Faster and faster it pulled, accelerating until the calculated moment. Golmac, exhausted by its efforts, stopped. And noticed that it had gone back one journey too far. Drained and unable to push itself any more, Golmac traced the current time-thread. How would it flow? Would Golmac still be in danger? No. Golmac's existence would continue in this time-thread. Golmac was again its own beginning and its own end. --- Janice Rand would start her first shift as Transporter Operator, Third Class, later tonight. She wanted to be ready, just in case that dreeeeeeamy Captain Kirk wanted to beam out. She knew he'd be so proud of her now that she was an ensign instead of a yeoman. Janice finished beaming the transporter test object out into space and back. It looked fine. She thought that she would try beaming it down to the surface and back. It still looked fine. She scanned it to make sure. But Janice really, really wanted to make certain the transporter was just perfect for Captain Kirk. She decided she'd beam down to the planet and back, too. "Can you beam me down to the planet, Smep? I just want to check to make sure the transporter's perfect." Smep gave her a funny look. "What if it's not perfect? What happens to you?" Janice was shocked at the implication. "Well, wouldn't *you* give your life for your captain? *I* would! Now beam me down, okay?" "Okay, whatever you say, Rand." Janice got onto the pad. Desolate ruins and dust greeted her, lit only by starlight. The sun was dead in this system. [Why is the ship even here?] she wondered. This planet didn't seem to have much to recommend it. Janice saw a large, torus-shaped stone. She wondered what it was. Some kind of religious statue, probably. And there were some other ruins, just a few meters away, with strange carvings on them. Well, it wouldn't hurt to explore around a little bit ... . Janice heard the transporter shimmer. She turned around to see Dr. McCoy! What was *he* doing here? She hoped he wasn't mad because she had beamed down and left Smep alone. But he didn't seem to be looking for her; he started running around through the ruins. "They won't find me here! Those murderers!" Wow, what was wrong with him? Janice tried to follow the doctor, running further and further into the maze, but she soon lost him. A ghostly aurora glowed in the distance behind her. The transporter again! She turned around. Wow, almost all of the senior officers had beamed down -- they must be looking for the doctor! Janice had to tell them that he was over -- no, she needed to find him first. She looked for his tracks in the stagnant dust and followed them. Doctor McCoy's tracks zigzagged randomly throughout the ruins. There must be something wrong with him, but what? Janice saw that she and the doctor were nearing the landing party. Some action was taking place inside the big stone torus. It seemed to be playing some kind of light show. Weird! Then Janice noticed McCoy being subdued by two security guards. Rats. Trumped again. When, oh, when would she be able to impress the Captain? Commander Spock suddenly pointed his tricorder at the torus. "I am a fool! My tricorder is capable of recording centuries of living history even at this speed. I've missed taping history which no man before has ever ... " Janice saw Doctor McCoy jump up. "Captain!" she shouted. "He's getting away!" Doctor McCoy bolted for the light show. Janice didn't know what he was trying to do! Captain Kirk went to tackle him but missed! Janice sprang like a cheetah, out from behind a rock, and leapt for Doctor McCoy. She glanced off Commander Spock's elbow. Even so, she managed to grab the doctor's leg, but he had too much momentum and pulled her with him into ... --- [Hazy. Hazy. What? The blonde ones, they always picked the blonde ones. The innocent-looking, young, blonde ones. Those made the best assassins, because you wouldn't suspect. Wouldn't suspect. Red miniskirt, looked cute and vulnerable, but they always had those big wigs where they could hide a stiletto or a phaser. Never seen one with a weapon that big, though; it had a big black strap that was stuck in her wig; it was a big black thing; looked sorta like a tricorder. "Sorta like a tricorder." "Ssssshhhhhhhh, don't try to speak. Just lie still." He tried to shake off the haze that enveloped his head. "Ohhhhhh." Coolness pressed against his forehead. He opened his eyes but had to shut them against the bright sunlight. "Jim?" He tried to open his eyes again. "Where ... am I?" "You're in the 21st Street Mission. You'll be fine if you just stay calm." Leonard felt the cool cloth lifted away from his forehead and heard a plash of water. The cloth was then laid back on his brow, colder. 21st Street Mission? What had happened? [I thought they were all going to get me. I told somebody this was a simulation. But ... we were mapping *time* distortions when Sulu was hurt. And I got the cordrazine ... and ... ] Leonard's memory had a large gap, but his analytical abilities were coming back. He must have been caught in a time distortion somehow. But what exactly had happened? First things first ... look around. Leonard tried again and managed to focus his eyes ... ... on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Maybe it was only the sunlight dazzling his eyes, but the way her dark hair contrasted with her creamy skin and red lips was right out of ... out of ... some ancient fairy tale that he couldn't remember. The kindness on her countenance was unmistakable. He felt as if he could look at her forever, lost in her, with no past and no future ... . "Well, I can tell that your eyesight's fine." She rose, businesslike. It was only then that Leonard realized he had been staring directly at her breasts. [Oh, way to make a first impression, Len ... hey, why not ask her how I got here?] "How did I get here?" "You were brought here, two days ago. I take care of people who need help. It's ... my calling." She looked him in the eye, and this time he managed to keep focused in the right place. "I'm Edith." Leonard could only stare. Edith. The name suited her prim beauty. "And you are ... ?" [Blast it, there you go again!] "I'm ... L-leonard." "Leonard. Pleased to meet you." She shook his limp hand before briskly turning to pour water from a pitcher. "Now, I want you to drink this water, and I'll go get you some nice soup." And she was gone. [Even if I never get back to the Enterprise, I'll be a happy man,] Leonard thought as he ran himself a bath. He had been in this time period for almost six months now and, in spite of living in these primitive conditions, was content -- maybe more content than he ever could have been in the 23rd Century. And it was all thanks to Edith. [My fiancee.] Oh, they hadn't exactly set a date yet, but he had asked, and she had said yes! Why she had picked him out of all the men who must have been after her, he couldn't say and didn't really want to know. They were simply meant for each other, and something about her old-fashioned purity charmed him too much. He couldn't speculate about her emotions; it might break the fragile skin of the dream he was living. [Sure,] he thought, lying back to soak his hair, [I don't have the world's best job.] But in this time period, he knew, any job was a good job, and the one Edith had found him as a butcher's apprentice was noble enough. Plus his boss, Lars, said he was a good worker; he only had to practice being quiet. The big Dane just didn't like the comments Len tended to make at work: 'Check out the diseased liver on *this* one!' or 'Lordy, that's what I call a *placenta*!' Ahhhh, you could take the doctor out of surgery, but you couldn't take the surgery out of the doctor. Blood and guts. He soaped up to wash the remnants off. Not something he normally had had to do on the Enterprise, even as a doctor. But he might as well get used to it now. He knew the US would get into the war soon enough, and that blood wouldn't be as easy to wash off. Leonard dipped his head back to rinse. Maybe he'd get stuck in the war somehow, maybe not. Nobody had his name, but someone was bound to notice him, wonder what was wrong with him. Could he fake some physical defect? Mental defect? Probably. He didn't bother worrying about the timeline, though. If he ended up in the war, it meant that he *had been* in the war. If he didn't, he hadn't. Enough said. Edith had her own opinion, though, and Leonard didn't know what to do about it. She had an idea that the US shouldn't get involved. She was always out on some crusade or other against the war. Could it mess up the timeline? He didn't think she could actually stop the escalation. Seemed like a noble idea, though. He pondered as he scrubbed himself. Decided nothing could make a difference to the timeline. What was, was. All he had to worry about was tonight and his date with Edith, to try not to get visibly aroused in front of her. And it wouldn't be easy. There she was. Even a block away, she shone as clearly through the crowd as a beacon through the night. Edith -- his beautiful, compassionate, intelligent Edith. She stood directly in front of Joe's Diner, across the street, and waved to him. They were to meet at Joe's; he'd managed to save two dollars for dinner. And then ... no, he couldn't think it, not in this era. Edith simply wasn't that kind of girl. Dreamily he approached the object of his desire. Fifty meters, twenty, he was going to cross the street to Edith ... . "Doctor McCoy! Doctor McCoy!" Doctor McCoy. A name he hadn't heard since ... since ... (!) It was being screamed by a ragamuffin, limping frantically toward him. She wore a torn red miniskirt, only one of her go-go boots had a heel, and her wig looked *completely* unkempt! The large black item she clutched to her, her only possession, looked somewhat like an empty tricorder case. It was ... "Janice!" The poor, traumatized girl grabbed at his sleeve and started babbling immediately. "Ohhhhh, Doctor! I'm so glad to find you! When we got here, they put me in jail for indecent exposure! Then they said that anyone with such a short skirt was probably a ... a prostitute, too! And before I finally got out of jail, they took my ... I mean, Commander Spock's tricorder! I think they sold the parts! And, and ... " Leonard's eye automatically sought out his true love. She was looking at him and at poor Janice. Sure enough, in keeping with her compassionate nature, Edith was coming over to them. Leonard saw only concern on her face, concern for the unfortunate creature who accosted him. Edith stepped off the curb. --- The End