The BLTS Archive - Betrayed
by JJ

---

Chakotay stared out the view port in his office. He sighed heavily,
the situation was becoming unnecessarily difficult. What was he going
to do? He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his fingers across his
forehead. Behind him on his desk sat the crew evaluations. One large
stack, the ones he had completed; the other one sitting in the middle
of his desk consisted of one. It had been there for several hours:
Captain Kathryn Janeway's. They did each other's review and although
he considered just doing another fluff, he struggled with that
concept. His own honesty was beginning to give him a hard time about
the glossed over reports he had filed before. Maybe he could get her
to understand what was going on between them with this. But, he
argued, to do that would be to ask her to dump him on the nearest
planet. He sighed again.

---

Their time in the Delta had been hard, in fact, it had been down
right difficult, but now the command structure of Voyager was
bordering on the brink of collapse. Why? Another sigh, because he and
the Captain were at odds again. They were at odds so seriously, he
was worried about Kathryn's reactions to him. It had started with New
Earth. There he had made his last ditch effort, he opened himself to
her, and she had refused. It had confused him for a long time. He knew
she wanted him, and he could have been happy with her, but she had
refused him. Yeah, his ego had gotten wrapped up in the problem, until
he realized it wasn't actually "him" that was the problem. It was what
he was. He rubbed his forehead again and swung around to look at the
chronometer. 20:00.

Okay, so part of it was his fault, but when Crazy Horse had blown up
at the array, it had just ripped his heart out. He did what was
necessary for him and his crew to survive. That had meant joining with
Voyager and making one crew out of two. And they had done it. Spirits,
it had been an uphill journey, but they had done it. He and Kathryn
working in tandem. It had taken a lot of control on his part not to
step on her toes and destroy the fantasy. New Earth had exasperated
the situation. Realistically, it had scared Kathryn to death. That was
when she realized just what she was dealing with.

Chakotay was not only a rival Captain, but also a strong-willed
person. Kathryn was used to dealing with people that obeyed orders
without question. This was not one of his strong points. He had made
too many decisions as a Captain to bow down and give in. When he
thought it was a bad idea, he said as much and it was now causing
problems. Kathryn had lost faith in him somewhere. That and she was
scared to death he was going to take her "authority" from her.

He remembered the moment vividly on New Earth when the storm had
struck and he had been forced to physically restrain her. That was
when it had changed, that was the moment the situation had probably
become irreparable. He had physically stopped her from doing
something; disobeyed her by not letting her go; let her feel that he
was stronger than she was; and, she had enjoyed it. There was no way
to fix that, except with time and patience, but Kathryn had shut the
door. Hell, she'd slammed it in his face and was in the process of
welding it shut. Patience, that was all it took. Contrary to what she
believed, Chakotay didn't want Voyager. He wanted to get home, same as
every other soul on this ship. He had realized his mistake and began
the slow process of rebuilding the trust between them.

Unfortunately, during that time of rebuilding was when Seven of Nine
came aboard. Now, he had nothing against either Seven or Kathryn. Both
of them were intelligent, strong women, but Kathryn had begun to
circumvent command and it was becoming a problem. Seven had been the
one to step in and fill the gap left by her lack of faith in him. Now,
Chakotay was being shoved aside, his opinions ignored and his
authority undermined. That was the problem.

Now, Kathryn was undermining him with the crew. In particular, with
the bridge staff and that was unbearable. He was tired of people
double checking his orders with Kathryn. He was tired of the daily
speeches from Kathryn and he was tired of the ridicule people were
heaping at his feet. His own people were wondering just when he was
going to do something, and the fleeter's were laughing at him and his
crew. If she continued, he just as well go see the EMH about
castration.

What was he going to do?

---

The next morning, he sat in their usual meeting listening to Tuvok's
report. He could have taken a nap. Anything he said was usually shot
down or ignored, and if it was a good idea, or a functional idea,
Kathryn took it over with the empirical 'we'. Like the old Kings and
Queens used to do. "We are not amused." However, if he stepped outside
the lines of protocol, Kathryn would call him on it, publicly.

"According to the information we have received, Nagor is inhabited.
Our sensors indicate it is full of natural foods," Tuvok said, reading
from the padd in his hand. "The people are reported to be friendly,
peaceful and evolved to the stage of warp technology."

"That would be a nice change," Tom muttered.

"I'll second that, Lieutenant," Captain Janeway said.

Chakotay, leaning back in his chair, watched. Tom had become more and
more of a pet to Kathryn, and she was doing him a great disservice.
Tom could, with a strong hand, become an even better officer. He was a
great pilot, no questions there, but his attitude. If they were still
on board the Crazy Horse, Chakotay suspected that Tom would be his
first officer by now. His first officer or dead.

Chakotay shot Tom a glare of dissatisfaction. It was enough to
silence him. He wondered why Tom found it necessary to be a smart ass.
You would think after their years in the Delta that Tom would stop,
but he was either very stubborn or very spoiled. Chakotay knew he was
both.

"The Nagorians are a heavily matriarchal society," Tuvok continued
his report. Although he spared a moment to glance at Chakotay and lift
an eyebrow. Chakotay returned the gesture stonily. He and Tuvok had
reached a point of understanding. Tuvok was 'Fleet, he was loyal to
Kathryn on the logical grounds that she was the Captain of Voyager,
was accepted in that position and any attempts to change that
structure would be detrimental to the mission. Put in plain Standard,
Chakotay was SOL as far as Tuvok's support in dealing with her little
power games.

Then he glanced at Kathryn. Most people wouldn't have noticed the
sparkle in her eyes, as she tried to hide it behind a cup of coffee,
but he did. What was going on? A society run by woman who had reached
warp technology. What was the importance of this? He listened with
half an ear as Tuvok completed his report.

When the meeting concluded, they all began to make their way to the
bridge to hopefully open negotiations with the Nagorians.

"Chakotay," Kathryn called, as he stood up.

He waited for the room to clear, before he looked back at her.

"Tuvok and I discussed this the other evening and we thought it would
be a good idea for you to...take a less prominent role in these
negotiations."

She and Tuvok had met, regarding this mission, without including him.
Chakotay went to parade rest forcing himself to relax. He kept his
face neutral as he processed the rest of the information: she thought
it best if he stepped back. "And why is that, Kathryn?"

Her eyes glinted with anger as he used her first name. Chakotay knew
she wanted to be addressed as Captain at all times, especially by him;
however, he would not do so in private.

"Well, with the society being led by women," he heard the minor
stress put on that word, and started to listen between the words even
more closely than before. "We thought it would be best if women
handled the negotiations. We wouldn't want to endanger the mission if
they were put off by someone's attitude."

Oh, so now he had an attitude. He was certainly developing one. She
had gone to the empirical we, hiding behind her authority and Tuvok's
logic, and once more was removing him from the command structure and
giving someone else more authority. He was betting Seven was going to
be working this mission with the Captain.

"If you think that's a possibility, Kathryn. I wouldn't want to lower
the chances of success of the mission. After all, we do need the
supplies."

Chakotay considered her insistence of handling the negotiations
several weeks before on a planet that wasn't quite so advanced. It was
a male dominated society and she had managed to offend several
leaders. When she had been forced to hand the situation to Chakotay,
her attitude had been surly and sharp tongued and she had still nearly
managed to destroy the trade deal. They could have come out much
better if she had just taken the advice she was freely handing out
right now. Chakotay decided that saying something would be bad,
satisfying but bad.

"I think it would be best. I'll be out in a moment."

And so he was dismissed. It took control when she was acting this
way. She was acting like he was some green cadet, or her personal
assistant. He nodded and went to the bridge.

As they approached the planet, they sent greetings to the leaders of
the people. Chakotay stood behind the Captain as they began the
diplomatic process. As hailing frequencies were opened, Chakotay
vacated his chair, moved to behind the Captain and went to parade
rest, taking a reserved role.

He had taken several moments to review what she had said, and he
agreed. Why endanger the mission by forcing any male presence until
they had more information. They were right. For any man to step
forward and force his presence on the negotiations, would be
foolish.

The view screen blossomed, and the game began.

"Captain Janeway, I am Shetar, the leader of this city."

Chakotay took in several things at once. Shetar was definitely a
woman who was in charge. She reminded Chakotay of his mother. The
steel in her eyes, the way she held her head, the hand movements.
There was no doubt, this woman was in charge.

"A pleasure to meet you Shetar. I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the
Starship Voyager."

Chakotay, although paying attention to the conversation, relaxed to
some degree. He was grateful that for once, it looked like things
would go smoothly. They had passed out of Neelix's area of expertise
some months ago, and had stumbled over some very unfriendly planets,
and others that had heard that the Kazon would punish anyone helping
Voyager. This looked promising. Although it rankled him being shoved
back, for the good of the crew he could do this. However, Paris' look
when he had vacated his command chair, Tuvok's raised eyebrow and
B'Elanna's look of surprise had done nothing for his pride.

"We appreciate your hospitality. We were wondering if we could
discuss the possibility of trade. We're trying to get home, and are
dependent upon friendly people to restock our supplies."

"Supplies? Whatever you need, Captain. We will assist you in anyway
we can. It is so refreshing to see there are other races that have
come to understand the intelligence and rationality of our gender."

"Starfleet believes that people should be seen as who they are and
not what they are," Kathryn said with a smile. Chakotay was glad he
started to play poker at an early age, because that was the only thing
keeping his face neutral.

"As I said, refreshing. Please transmit a list of what you need, and
we will endeavour to help you in anyway we can."

Chakotay felt the entire bridge staff relax.

"Thank you, Shetar. We would also like to discuss what you would like
to trade for."

"I have a suggestion, Captain. We could discuss this over dinner.
That way we could have time to see what of your supplies we have and
at the same time, get to know each other. I would like to invite you
and your senior staff as our guests."

"I'm sure that can be arranged. Should we bring the wine?"

Shetar laughed. "No, Captain, allow us to be your hostesses. It looks
as if you and your people have had a difficult time."

---

That evening was...unusual, Chakotay thought as he returned to his
quarters. Definitely Matriarchal. Matriarchal to the point that he and
the other men had been stared at openly. Shetar had even faltered in
her step and her smile had for a moment gone brittle. Kathryn had
gracefully pressed that Starfleet accepted people for who they were,
not what they were.

However, by the time he got back to Voyager, Chakotay was seething.
Kathryn's behavior had been unforgivable. She had made jokes at his
expense, pointed out how rudimentary men were, and how she was sure
Shetar would be able to negotiate with Chakotay while other men had
refused to treat her as an equal. Chakotay had seen the glint in
Shetar's eyes when Kathryn had said this, and he really doubted that.
Kathryn had spoken with everyone at the table, including Tom and
Seven, but had managed to keep him out of the conversation. Chakotay
even saw Tom begin to squirm as the women extolled their virtues at
the cost of slamming men.

He was taking his uniform jacket off when a thought occurred to him.
Male vs. Female. Spirits, she was transforming this into some gender
thing. Chakotay actually groaned. How stupid. That's why she was
acting this way. She had an entire planet of women to back her up. It
made sense. Kathryn had mainly promoted women. She trusted Tuvok so
much because he was raised in a Matriarchal society as well. The light
dawned. She had taken Chakotay as her First Officer for the sole
purpose of bringing the Maquis to heel. Then more of the picture was
illuminated for him. Seven. Kathryn was grooming Seven to become the
First Officer. Over his dead body! It was a long time before he
slept.

---

The next morning, they met in her ready room. She was sitting at her
desk with her cup of coffee. He came in and waited. He couldn't
remember the last time she had offered him a seat.

"Well?" she asked with a impish smile. "Wasn't last night
wonderful?"

Chakotay raised his eyebrow at her amusement. "I was a bit
uncomfortable."

"I imagine you were."

"I think Tom was, too."

"With all those women there? Please, Tom was drooling. You know how
he is."

Chakotay would not give that comment credence by answering it, but
now he understood the situation. Her comments were doing nothing but
confirming it. Kathryn resettled herself in her chair.

"I think you should be in charge of getting the supplies on board
Voyager, while Seven and I handle negotiations."

Chakotay nodded, acknowledging her order. Kathryn's eyes narrowed for
just a split second. Then she smiled again.

"Really, it's a fascinating culture. Did you hear everything Shetar
told me?"

"That the men had been so war-like that they almost destroyed the
culture, and it was only through the efforts of the female scientists
who set about saving first male sperm and then DNA that saved
them?"

"Yes. That took foresight." Kathryn's eyes were glowing.

---

So it was decided. Chakotay would handle getting everything to
Voyager, and Kathryn and Seven would be the liaison between the two.
And although it rankled him to no end, Chakotay decided he would wait.
But, as soon as they were underway, he and Kathryn Janeway were going
to get this situation settled.

As soon as they were given permission, Chakotay set a team to work
gathering plants and fruits. Kathryn negotiated for more prepared
foodstuffs, like grains that had been ground, cultivated fruits, etc.
Tom handled moving the raw produce. Chakotay handled the supplies from
the city itself.

Neither assignment was wonderful. Loading and unloading the shuttles
was neither pleasant nor easy. Gathering the supplies was no more
pleasant, but they were getting it done as quickly as possible.

That evening, when Kathryn returned from the planet, she had a
different air about her.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself," Chakotay noted, as he walked the
quiet corridors of Voyager towards their quarters.

"Chakotay, these women are so intelligent and gracious. I can't
explain how fulfilling it is to discuss scientific matters with them.
To have my ideas validated and argued with such openness...it's
priceless. Seven is absolutely flourishing under them. B'Elanna, well,
she's aggressive enough that some of the Nagorians are put off, but I
think it's good for her to see this as well."

Chakotay was concerned regarding her far away expression and the
warmth to her voice when she spoke. The idea that she wanted to stay
here permanently occurred to him.

"So, how are the restocking missions going?" Her voice was much
flatter when she asked that question. Chakotay updated her, all the
while seeing things much more clearly, and what he saw made him
mad.

For three days, the men worked very hard. Tom and Chakotay both
piloting shuttles back and forth with provisions. He had to admit he
found Tom's occasional off the wall comments a nice way to break up
the boring thirty minute trip between Voyager and the planet surface;
not to mention diverting his attention from the anger that was
building inside him like a volcano seeking a break in the strata.

All the women had been granted shore leave in the city. However, due
to the cultural differences, the men were only allowed leave outside
the city, because Kathryn didn't want to offend their sensibilities in
case one of the men stepped out of line. And, since that's where they
were gathering, they could do both at once. Even Tuvok had raised an
eyebrow at that. Tom had been shocked into silence and Chakotay met
Kathryn's amused expression with one of neutrality.

Chakotay was more than slightly concerned with the amount of time the
Captain was spending on the surface. His suspicions that she wanted to
stay became more and more pronounced. He was also concerned with her
reports. Kathryn was usually very prompt with her reports, but except
for the first day's negotiation, she hadn't filed anything.

Finally, everything was on board. It looked like they were set for at
least 6 months of travel. The Nagorians had even been able to produce
some alternative power sources for systems. True, it wasn't exactly
what they needed, but B'Elanna was convinced they could be adapted to
Voyager's systems without too much trouble. It wasn't like Voyager had
all her original equipment anyway. As Chakotay sat at his desk
reviewing the reports, he decided his silence was well worth it. He
and Kathryn would deal with this once they left orbit. He would not
continue this way.

A moment later a comm came through from Kathryn.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Chakotay, Shetar has graciously extended an invitation for a final
dinner with them this evening."

Chakotay waited knowing she was baiting him about something, but he
hadn't caught on to exactly what it was yet.

"The entire bridge staff has been invited."

He should have guessed, there were men on the bridge staff. "I'll
make sure everything is in order. What time?"

Kathryn's eyes once more narrowed, but she continued. "Make sure you
and Tom are here at 16:00. Dress Uniforms."

"What about Harry and Tuvok?"

"I want them to stay as Senior Staff members. Oh, and tell Tom to be
on his best behaviour and keep his hands to himself. These women will
not put up with his shenanigans."

"Yes, Captain."

He had Tom come to his office.

"To tell you the truth, Commander, those woman make me nervous."

"I can understand that, Lieutenant, but just one evening and we'll
get underway."

"Can I ask a question?"

Chakotay nodded, looking up at Tom when he paused.

"What exactly are we trading for all this stuff?"

Chakotay sat for a moment and realized Tom was right. As far as he
knew nothing had been taken to the surface in trade.

"I don't know."

---

They beamed down into a small anti chamber.

Kathryn and Seven came into the room with Shetar. They were all
greeted warmly, and led into the large hall they had eaten at before.
Kathryn, Seven, Chakotay and Tom were all seated down one side of the
table, Shetar at the head of the table and several of the ranking
women of Nagor on the other side.

The conversations were much like those the first night, and Chakotay
was finding it harder and harder to not say something. At one point in
time, Tom had finally started to defend men. They had come up with a
few good ideas over the centuries. Chakotay caught his eye and shook
his head, while Kathryn had laughed and shot him down like a
Cardassian fighter over Bajor. Tom wisely fell silent.

Although the food was probably wonderful, Chakotay never tasted
anything. He berated himself for being such a fool. He thought this
was because Kathryn was challenged by his strengths, his leadership
abilities, and what it boiled down to was she was intimidated by the
fact he had dick and she didn't. He ate the food set before him, drank
the wine in his cup, and tried to come up with ways to broach this
subject once they were back on Voyager without ending up in the
brig.

Later that evening, Tom leaned over and asked,

"Do you feel as uncomfortable as I do?"

"With all these women, Paris, I thought you would feel at home,"
Chakotay replied, taking a drink of his wine. Then he paused, that had
been uncalled for. "Yes, Lieutenant, I feel uncomfortable."

"Very funny," Tom said, taking a drink off his glass of wine. "I'm
serious, Commander. There's something here that isn't kosher."

"Kosher?" Chakotay set his empty cup on the table.

"It isn't right. Something here isn't right."

"Lieutenant, although I will admit it's unusual, maybe your attitude
is what makes the Nagorans uncomfortable around men outside their own
culture."

"That's what I mean, Commander. What men?" Tom also set his cup on
the table.

Chakotay took a look around and sure enough. He didn't see any men.
He had seen some on his first visit, but not now. And they had been at
the location they had loaded the shuttles, but in this room there
weren't any. That was odd. He turned to ask Kathryn when suddenly the
room tilted crazily to one side. He put his hands down to maintain his
balance.

Kathryn looked at him with a devious smile on her face. "Problem,
Chakotay?" He looked round and saw Tom collapse face first to the
table.

"What have you done?" he asked, trying to stay upright.

"Really, I'm taking care of a problem. You two are the only ones
holding us back on Voyager. You're high and mighty "I'm a man, suck
me" attitude and Tom's continual whoring have done nothing but held
the women back. Therefore, Shetar and I agreed this was the best thing
to do."

"What?" His mind was quickly clouding.

"Oh, Chakotay, not even you're this stupid. I'll spell it out for
you. I'm trading you and Tom for the supplies we received and for the
benefit of Voyager."

"You can't," were the last words Chakotay remembered saying before
the table rushed up to meet him.

---

He woke in a chair and glanced around still very confused and
uncoordinated. He was held in place with a series of webbed restraints
running from his forehead down to his ankles. There were what looked
like bio feeds running from his skull and body. He had been stripped.
A plastic piece of tubing was attached to a clear plastic bag and into
his arm. He flexed his arm and he felt a small twinge of pain under
where it attached to his arm. Chakotay realized it was an old
fashioned intravenous system.

Movement caught his eyes. One of them was sitting in front of a
computer terminal.

"What are you doing to me?" His voice was rough, his speech slow. He
pulled at the webbed restraints holding him, twisting against them as
best he could. He struggled until he realized he was only exhausting
himself.

"Who are you? What are you doing to me?"

She got up, stopped at a tray, picked up a needle and inserted it
into the IV line.

"What is that?"

There was no answer. Slowly, his eyes closed.

---

He became aware again, but this time on a table with bright lights
blinding him. It was cold, the table, the air, but he wasn't focused
enough to understand what was going on. Vaguely, he tried to move, but
once more, he seemed to be restrained.

When he woke up a third time, he could move and when he did, he
groaned at the stiffness that prevailed. Whatever he was laying on was
rough, and warm.

Slowly his eyes opened, and he looked around. A cell? He tried to sit
up and finally made it to semi-upright leaning heavily on his arms.
His entire body was lethargic. His eyes didn't want to focus on
anything, his head felt like it was made out of lead, or gravity was
higher here. All he wanted to do was lay back down and go back to
sleep.

He rolled to the side of the bed and tried to get his feet under him.
He looked at his arm where the tube had been and there was a bruise.
He struggled to standing, pulling himself upright and staying there by
holding onto the bars for support. He put his head against the metal,
breathing hard. What had they used on him? He tried to move around,
but soon sat back on the cot, only to collapse onto his side, and
sleep.

---

The next time he woke up, he was very aware of pain. Most of his body
ached or hurt. This time when he sat up, he felt normal, and reasoned
whatever they had used on him had finally passed through his system.
Chakotay sat up and rubbed his face. That was when he noticed the
bands of metal. It appeared to be gold, but he doubted they would use
such a fine metal in this fashion. One on each wrist, and one on each
ankle.

For a moment he thought. He remembered Tom's noticing the lack of
men, he vaguely remembered the chair and the table. He remembered
Kathryn's smile. That bitch, if he ever got his hands on her, he'd
kill her. He put his hand to his temple as the headache increased.

He looked around. Three sides of the cell consisted of metal bars.
The floor was rough concrete, there was a cot with a blanket, a small
area for bodily functions and that was it. The bars went from ceiling
to floor, there was a door with a lock towards the center aisle. The
cot was bolted down, and nothing else. Probably about an eight foot by
ten foot area. The cell right next to him was the exact same, blanket
and everything. He tried to categorize the different parts of him that
hurt.

As he calmed down the pain in both of his temples reduced to a dull
ache. His groin was distinctly uncomfortable and his throat hurt. He
had some sore muscle groups, but he could have caused that when he
struggled against the restraints in the chair. He rotated his head and
found a very sharp point of pain at the base of his skull. Everything
else seemed fine.

He looked up and down the line of cells. There was a door beside his
cell. It was between his cell and another one making a short hall,
then the hall extended in either direction 5 cells either direction.
There were men in some of them farther down the hall, but most of them
were asleep. He looked for weaknesses, and found nothing obvious: no
windows, no lax guards. The pain in his temple became sharper again.
He looked down at himself. He was in loose cotton trousers, and
nothing else.

He paced for a moment, clearing his mind. What to do? Basing his
decision on Shetar's reaction and his present circumstances, he and
Tom were slaves. Tom. Where was Tom? Why them? Had Kathryn offered
them or were they requested? That could make a real difference in how
they were treated. He couldn't help but wonder what the reaction of
his crew was. He was sure that sooner or later, Kathryn Janeway was
going to get one rude surprise. The Maquis would not put up with it,
and the last time he checked, they outnumbered the 'fleeters and were
the main security force now. He smiled to himself. Yes, Kathryn
Janeway and he would meet again. The only question was when and what
was going to happen to them in the meantime.

He sat back down on the cot and cleared his mind. Meditation was a
good way to remain calm and pass time.

---

Chakotay woke up as he heard movement. He opened his eyes and found
three women standing at the door to his cell: Shetar, Reigh and
another he didn't recognize. He met their gazes calmly.

"He is a magnificent creature, isn't he."

"I couldn't believe she was stupid enough to let him go. Although
from her own story she missed her chance to control him," Shetar
explained. "He offered himself to her and she was too worried about
what it would do to her."

"How foolish."

"I don't think she was strong enough for this one. He's like the old
ones," Shetar said with distaste. "Barbaric male."

"If you mean I'm stronger than her, and would have taken advantage of
her, you're wrong."

Two of the women gasped as he spoke, but Shetar met his gaze levelly.
"No, you're wrong, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now, would
you?"

Chakotay nodded that she had a point. "Perhaps. Where is Tom?"

"Don't worry about him. I would worry about yourself." Shetar turned
to the woman he didn't know. "Train him."

---

A week later, Chakotay was returned to his cell in heavy restraints.
His back was on fire from the beating he had received, and his anger
was almost beyond his control. At least it was just a beating instead
of the control device. When they had used that on him as a punishment,
he had woken up hours later with a blinding headache remembering only
writhing on the ground in complete agony. It wasn't until they had
turned the device off that he had been able to pass out from the
pain.

He had learned a lot in those seven days. He had learned that the
reason he had a headache when he first woke up was they had place a
subcutaneous control device there. It could inflict a myriad of
feelings: pain, sexual excitement, unreasonable anger, sleep, and it
was extremely effective. The reason his groin ached was because they
had taken a "sample" and had made sure he was genetically "pure". They
had run brain scans and decided he was too "base" to be allowed near
the women, but because of his "beauty" and high sperm count, he was
not relegated to the work crews. Even now, the information made him
seethe. They claimed to be so advanced, but they were worse than most
of the cultures they had come across. This was enforced
subjugation.

They had him trained as a pit slave, a man who fought for their
entertainment, and with the control device in place, he couldn't stop
it. He also suspected he was going to put to stud soon. Although he
wouldn't father any children. He was too wild for that.

At first he had laughed at the idea. They couldn't make him have sex
with anyone. He thought that was impossible, but he was wrong. He knew
what they were capable of in that department, it had been vividly
shown just how much control they had over him.

When he had first gone into the pit, he had watched the fights.
Chakotay hated to admit it, but he had seen similar fights. In fact,
he'd been in one or two. It was a raw, bare-knuckle type of fight,
sometimes with simplistic weapons. What he saw hadn't upset him until
the fight ended. That was when he saw the winner rape the looser. It
had sickened him to the core. Another slave saw him blanch and
laughed.

"Better get used to it. May be the only fun you have."

But he knew he wouldn't do it, and so far he had been able to avoid
it. But that was why his back was covered in bruises. He won his
fights, between his boxing background, his fleet training in hand to
hand and his time in the Maquis, he hadn't been bested yet, but he
refused to do that. He refused to be forced into raping someone. They
had tried the control device. He couldn't believe what happened. His
body just started to react and fill with a raging lust that almost
anything would have served his purposes. The man he had just beaten
was trying to get to his feet. Chakotay had nearly lost control, but
he had turned away and held onto the bars of the pit, moaning as his
cock screamed for release. He reached for himself, determined to deal
with it without raping someone. The others had laughed at him for
doing it. After that, the guards had either lost patience and beat him
with the strap or changed it to punishment. But so far, he had managed
to avoid that degradation. One of the few small victories he had
won.

He also found Tom. Or a better way to put it was Tom had been paraded
in front of him. It had been on the second day in the pit and Shetar
had come to the edge of the pit. It had made Chakotay sick to see it.
Tom's head was down and he could understand why. Where he had
covering, Tom was displayed. They had taken the pants and put him in
something out of some old gladiator vid, a leather wrap around his
waist. Tom had no clothing, only ornamentation. Where Chakotay could
stand and fight, Tom knelt slightly behind Shetar. Where he was
beaten, Tom was slapped and jerked around by a collar.

Shetar smiled at him coldly and he knew this had been well thought
out. Chakotay called his name, but Tom wouldn't even look up. When
Shetar lifted his face by his hair and Chakotay saw the gold in his
ears, he had reacted. That was when he learned about punishment. He
had screamed and rushed at Shetar, and found himself screaming,
digging at his temples trying to ease the pain. To attack a woman
brought on immediate punishment at the most severe levels.

He leaned against the wall of his cell still breathing heavily. The
wide stiff leather bruised deeply, but caused no damage. He thought it
was hard to control his temper around Kathryn, she was a breeze
compared to these women. He had never felt so out of control in his
life. The door leading out of the cells opened and Shetar came in with
Tom. Chakotay grit his teeth. Control was becoming his mantra. Stay in
control, Chakotay.

"Punished again?" she asked lightly. "I thought you were more
intelligent that this."

"No, I'm a barbaric male, remember."

"You had best watch your tongue, slave. You can be punished in other
ways."

"Do your worst to me, Shetar. I won't become what you want me to
become."

He cried out and fell to his knees as the device was activated. He
pressed the heels of his hands to his temples. He heard voices, but he
couldn't focus past the pain. It was unimaginable. Then it stopped. He
stayed there breathing heavily.

---

He looked at where she still stood. Tom was holding the bars of his
cell, his blue eyes full of pain for him. Chakotay started the arduous
task of climbing to his feet.

"Stubborn, stupid male. You should learn from Thomas. He learned
quickly."

"What you have done to him is unconscionable. He is a human being,
not some lap dog."

"Oh, now there you are wrong. He is a very good lap dog," Shetar
laughed, and Tom dropped his head and blushed. Chakotay paused as he
reached his feet and realized Tom was already being used that way.

"I'm sorry, Tom."

Tom didn't even answer him. Shetar looked at him again. "If you learn
your lessons, Chakotay, perhaps we'll let you out, too."

"I would prefer to die in the pit."

---

For three more days the war continued. They had to use the control
device to get him to do anything. That evening, however, he was
brought out to the dining hall, still in chains. He was led to
Shetar.

"Listen to me, Chakotay. If you behave, everything will be fine. If
you don't, Thomas will pay. Do you understand?"

He glanced at Tom who knelt beside her chair, his eyes widening in
shock, but he held his tongue. It was probably one of the most
difficult things he had ever had to do in his life. He suspected the
only place she could see the rage that boiled inside him was in his
eyes. For a moment, he could see himself ripping her throat out with
his bare hands, and that one thought was enough to trigger the control
device. When it released him, he lay beside her chair. Tom's head was
down, but his hands were in fists.

"Stand up," Shetar ordered casually. Chakotay struggled to his feet,
and met her eyes angrily. She took a sip of wine and looked at Reigh.
"Ten strokes for Thomas." Chakotay took a step as Reigh grabbed Tom's
collar and began to drag him away. "Fifteen."

"No," he said in dismay. Shetar lifted the device, pointed it at Tom
and pressed the button. Chakotay watched as Tom writhed helplessly.
Reigh never stopped dragging him by the collar. Shetar released Tom as
Reigh fastened Tom's hands through a ring and lifted him to his
feet.

Chakotay's hands were in fists as he watched Tom take fifteen strokes
of the wide stiff leather. Chakotay had taken twenty before, but he
knew just how painful it was and winced with each stroke. When she
finished, Tom hung limply from the ring.

"Why was he punished Chakotay?"

---Because you are a sadistic bitch. he thought, but instead he spoke
with barely controlled rage. "One, because I looked in your eyes; two,
because I took a step towards you in defiance; and, three, because I
told you no.

"Learned your lesson?" Shetar asked, still eating.

Chakotay pulled his jaw back in, lowered his eyes to the floor, and
nodded. The only thing he could do to keep from attacking was repeat
'don't think about it, don't think about it.' As he controlled his
breathing, he realized sooner or later he was going to blow, and now
they had a weapon to use against him. Tom.

"Take your place."

He moved to where Tom had been, and slowly lowered himself to his
knees.

"Very good, Chakotay."

She sounded as if she were praising some pet for a trick. She was, he
thought bitterly, she had gotten him to behave. It was the most bitter
moment of his life.

---

Later that night, Shetar continued his lessons.

Chakotay had followed behind her tamely. When they entered her
quarters, Tom was forced to follow her farther into the room, but
Chakotay had gotten used to staying off to one side. He stopped inside
the door and as much as it irked him, he went to his knees. He
couldn't bring more punishment down on Tom, so for now, he would
behave. Shit, he thought angrily, was it some stupid coincidence that
they brought Tom down here with him. Of all the male crew members, why
him. Why not Dalby? Chakotay could have watched him be tortured
without a twinge of guilt.

He glanced around at the opulence of the room. The floor was a
polished stone a lot like granite, but this was black. White, silk
draperies hung everywhere, separating areas, as curtains blowing
gently in the night air, and just as decoration. One area was for
bathing, another her sleeping area with a raised platform and a
multitude of pillows and the like, and still another that looked like
an office. Although it looked very soft and inviting on the first
glance, Chakotay also saw several rings bolted heavily into the floor,
a short handled whip on a side table and a divan with chains at the
top and bottom.

Tom was still weak from the beating and punishment, but when she had
ordered wine, Tom went and filled a cup for her. Chakotay caught the
side long glance, but he couldn't read it. He thought it was somewhere
between pity and warning. He watched as Tom knelt and offered the
goblet to her. She lifted his face, laughing at his blush.

"Don't worry, Thomas. Soon Chakotay will be doing the exact same
thing."

"Please don't, lady," Tom had whispered and Chakotay wanted to scream
that he not beg, until he realized Tom wasn't begging for himself. Tom
was asking she not embarrass him, she not make Chakotay serve her.

"You want his respect don't you, Thomas?"

Tom looked down, and nodded mutely. Chakotay realized she had misread
Tom's statement too. She caught a quick glance between the two of them
and she laughed.

"You don't want to see him doing this?"

"Lady, he...he's my commanding officer. He shouldn't have to do
this."

"You're wrong, Thomas. You're both just men, controlled by hormones
and angers."

She had walked up to Chakotay, warning him that the slightest
misbehavior would bring great pain down on Tom's head. Then she had
run her hands over his body. Chakotay wanted to scream, to slap her
hand away. He felt the warnings of the throb in his temples. The
device was warning him his thoughts were unacceptable.

He focused on a statue on the far wall. He removed himself from the
situation until he felt an intense sexual desire building in him. He
glared at Shetar and took a hand across the face for it.

"Did you forget your lessons so soon? A slave never meets a woman's
eyes," She hissed angrily. Chakotay averted his eyes as his cock began
to ache.

"Please, Lady. Don't do this to him."

"Shut up, Thomas."

Shetar cruelly pulled the leather from Chakotay's hips and handled
his cock. He shivered, keeping his eyes on the floor. It means
nothing, he told himself, absolutely nothing.

"Such a large man," she purred. She ran a finger up the sensitive
foreskin and Chakotay could not suppress the groan. "Go to the couch,
Chakotay."

He remained still, he couldn't do this. He could not offer himself up
this way. She pointed the device at Tom and her fingers caressed the
button on it.

"Commander, don't! Don't do what she wants." Then he cried out and
put his head to the floor, with his hands at his temples.

"As soon as you lay on that couch, I'll stop."

Chakotay stood, keeping his mind as blank as possible, and began to
move across the room, but as he came even with Shetar, he took a
swing. He may have hit her, he may not. As soon as it was a thought,
he was unaware of anything except pain. He remembered it went on for a
very long time.

---

When he woke up, he was secured to the couch by chains at the top and
the bottom. He was gagged. Tom was secured by a chain to a ring bolted
into the floor. Chakotay jumped when Shetar came into view, and
understood the gag, when she said,

"Shall we start again." She pointed that cursed device at him and he
groaned as he felt himself harden. He pulled desperately at the
chains, and shook his head no, but that didn't stop Shetar. She
casually put down her cup of wine. Tom looked away, as she mounted and
rode him like some sort of animal.

Chakotay suffered a slow death. Her words of gloating, cut through
his fog of excitement, and began to slowly cut his soul apart. He bit
down hard on the cloth as he spasmed inside her, but Shetar wasn't
finished with him yet. She did it again and then she left him that
way. She left him chained down and hard for the rest of the night.

The extended excitement became painful very quickly and sleep was
impossible. The anger became uncontrollable and he found himself being
punished several times, jerking helplessly at the chains as vengeance
filled his mind. He was not an animal!

---

The next morning, when she woke up, she walked up to him and
smiled.

"Sleep well?"

Chakotay glared at the ceiling. If he had been able to, he would have
spit on her. She picked up a cup of coffee that was waiting on a table
by the door. Someone had opened the door and put it there earlier.

"Are you ready to behave yet?"

Chakotay shook his head.

"Stubborn, stupid male." Shetar moved out of his range of vision, but
he knew what she was doing. He heard her laugh as he shifted
uncomfortably. He fought against it, but soon, she had the device so
high that with a cry against the gag, he convulsed and came. Never had
an orgasm been so painful or so embarrassing. As his cum covered his
chest and belly, Chakotay turned his head away, to hide the moisture
in his eyes.

From that moment on, Chakotay was taken to the pits during the day,
and returned to Shetar at night. Shetar quickly figured out that
without Tom there to be punished; Chakotay was much slower to behave.
There were some nights she seemed to take great satisfaction in
watching Chakotay take a beating, or twist as he was punished.
However, on other nights, she ended the game quickly. Tom writhing in
pain or being beaten brought almost instant obedience.

One night as they bathed in the communal bathes. Chakotay gently
washed Tom's bruised back. It was a common practice for the male
slaves to bathe together. And after what they had been through in the
evenings, there was very little for them to be embarrassed about.
Chakotay frowned at the deep black and green bruises, that showed so
vividly on Tom's back.

"I'm sorry, Commander."

"For what?" Chakotay asked, taking in the skin that had broken under
the strap and the bruises that were incredibly deep.

"Letting them use me to make you behave." Tom's head was down
again.

"Tom, I don't really see where you have much choice in the situation.
It isn't like Shetar asked either of us first. Or are you going behind
my back and asking her to do this to you."

"No," Tom said. Chakotay could hear the smile in his words.

He was really surprised he was teasing Tom that way. Guess Paris is
rubbing off on me. He finished Tom's back, putting some ointment on
the cuts and deeper bruises. It seemed to help the bruising heal
faster and kill some of the pain. Tom flexed his back.

"Thanks. Hey, when do you think the Captain will get to us?"

Chakotay felt himself go pale as his stomach dropped. He turned Tom
so he could see his eyes. He didn't know. Spirits, Tom had passed out
prior to Janeway's admission. Shetar hadn't told him. Chakotay
swallowed deeply. This was going to hurt Tom, he had trusted her.
"Tom, the Captain traded us for the supplies."

Tom laughed. "Very funny." Then Tom looked up and met Chakotay's
eyes. "You are kidding, right? The Captain wouldn't have done that to
us." Chakotay heard the panic in Tom's voice, the desperate plea for
Chakotay to admit he was lying.

"I'm sorry, Tom. She admitted it to me herself."

"Why me? What did I do?"

Chakotay squeezed the cloth in his hands as he understood what Tom
was saying. He could see her dumping Chakotay this way, but not
himself. Chakotay deserved it, Tom Paris didn't. He almost struck out
at Tom in anger, but then he remembered his own shock. He sighed. His
answer wasn't going to make Tom feel any better. "She said your
whoring was holding the women back."

"My... My what?" Tom asked, turning around in the waist high
water.

"She called you a whore, Tom."

"She called me a...whore?"

Chakotay could see the pain in Tom's face. He cursed Kathryn Janeway.
Tom Paris had been nothing but loyal to her and she did this to him.
She used him, and he saw the exact same thoughts spread across Tom
Paris' wide open expression. He saw the hurt, and then the shock then
a deep seated anger set in. Chakotay grabbed Tom's arms and shook
him.

"Tom, no. The device will punish you. Don't. Just breath deep and
don't get mad." He could see the fire in Tom's eyes. "Don't focus that
anger, Lieutenant. Think about me. Get angry at me. Just let it go.
Remember how I bitched you out in front of everyone on the bridge.
Remember how I took you down when you were acting like a traitor?
Think about that, Tom."

"She sold us for fucking supplies?" Now tears flooded Tom's eyes.
"How could she do that?"

"This isn't over yet, Tom. Remember, my crew is up there with her.
They won't let this go."

He saw a spark of hope in Tom's eyes, he also took in the bright fire
of rage. "They better damn well leave something for me," Tom whispered
angrily.

---

The next day Chakotay was taken to the room with the chair. They
hooked the leads back up to him. He was almost becoming accustomed to
not fighting them, but every once in a while, one of them would put
their hands on him and he wanted to shake them off. In all honesty, he
wanted to deck them, but he wouldn't. They may have control of his
body, and to some degree his mind, but they would not break his
spirit, he would not give in to this. He promised himself, somehow
they would pay for what they were doing to them. He kept his thoughts
vague and unfocused as to who 'they' were.

Shetar came in with Tom. She walked up to the chair.

"And how are you today, Chakotay? Still wanting to fight?"

Chakotay kept his eyes focused on the ceiling. "I will always fight
you."

She sighed and walked over to the control panel with the other woman.
Chakotay looked at Tom, who gave him a smile of encouragement. They
had begun to share this with each other. Chakotay had spent his
evenings trying to give Tom something to hang on to, and Tom had spent
his time trying to talk Chakotay out of black rages. Chakotay nodded.
He was glad Tom was there with him. He had been right about him
though. Here under these circumstances, Tom was proving himself very
trustworthy, level headed and a friend. Then Chakotay looked at him,
and for the first time, he saw golden earrings, the single gold ring
through one of his nipples, the hard planes of his chest, the ridged
belly.

---Where did that come from? he asked himself.

Then he heard the woman running the machines laugh.

"Shetar, look at this."

Shit, Chakotay realized they had leads hooked up to him, they were
monitoring his brain waves, and he was sure they had just registered
his momentary attraction to Tom. Shit, shit, shit.

Shetar looked at the screen, and they discussed the results. Tom
looked confused. Chakotay, despite the fact it might get him punished
for speaking, said,

"I'm sorry, Tom."

"Thomas, get in that chair." Shetar pointed to the one across from
Chakotay.

When he was strapped in, the woman positioned them so they were
staring at each other. Chakotay was furious with himself. That had
been so stupid.

Shetar walked over next to Tom and asked, "Thomas, did you know
Chakotay finds you attractive?"

Chakotay could see the confusion give way to surprise. He nodded as
much as he could when Tom looked at him. Damn, Tom was straight this
wasn't... Spirits, what if Shetar wanted to... Chakotay felt his
stomach sink as he imagined what she could do with the device. Then
Tom laughed.

He laughed and winked at Chakotay. "You know what? I think he's got a
fine looking ass myself. Rest of him ain't half bad either."

Chakotay didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He took great joy in
Shetar's confusion and anger at the unexpected response. He settled
for smiling darkly at the ceiling.

Soon they were both released from the chairs. Chakotay was taken back
to the pits, and Tom was taken by Shetar. That evening, when he was
delivered to her quarters, he was shocked at what he found. Shetar sat
in a chair, Tom was restrained on the couch with his cock hard and
purpling. Chakotay stared at Tom. He almost took a step towards him,
but remembered himself. He went to his knees.

"Pretty like this isn't he, Chakotay. So needy." Shetar moved to Tom
and sat beside him on the couch.

---You scurvy, wench. You vile fucking female. Chakotay thought
furiously. His worst fears were about to be played out. She was going
to do it. Chakotay wanted to scream, to fight, to be free. To get Tom
and get the hell out of this city. Rip the freaking control device out
of his head, but instead all he could do was watch. The pain in his
head barely phased him

Shetar blew on Tom's cock and he cried out, pulling at the chains.
Chakotay carefully kept his face neutral and didn't look directly at
Shetar. She was in a cruel mood and he knew the slightest misstep on
his part would probably result in Tom spending the night just like he
was. He forced himself to calm down.

"Do you want to help him, Chakotay?"

Chakotay struggled with his tone. "Yes, Lady."

"Would you like to fuck his ass?"

Chakotay heard Tom groan. His only choice was to do as she wanted. If
it were only himself, he would push her, but not with Tom like this.
"I will do whatever you want, Lady."

She slid her hand up and down Tom's cock. He jerked up into it as
much as he could.

"It's tempting to continue this way, but I want to see you two
together. Your Captain was a fool. Come, Chakotay. Come suck him
off."

Chakotay rose to his feet and knelt at the base of the couch. It was
an awkward position, he couldn't reach Tom well. He moved to the side
of the couch and without any further preparation, he took Tom in his
mouth. Tom's entire body arched to him.

"Gods, Chakotay, yes."

Chakotay pinned Tom's hips down and began to suck and tongue Tom's
cock. His only desire was to relieve Tom's distress. He felt his own
cock rise and knew Shetar had nothing to do with it. He used one hand
to stroke the bottom of Tom's length, and soon Tom exploded in his
mouth. Chakotay sucked him dry. Tom collapsed back to the couch
covered in sweat.

Shetar stared at Chakotay and his erection. Then at Tom. She smiled
again and instructed Chakotay to bathe Tom and prepare them both for
dinner. Chakotay gently released Tom from the couch and lifted him
into his arms. Tom sighed and whispered,

"You're good at that."

Chakotay blushed and smiled as he took Tom to the baths.

When they came back in the door, Shetar was smiling brightly. Both he
and Tom slowed down in their advance into the room, watching her
closely.

"Come on. We can't be late for dinner this evening," Shetar said with
the smile of a snake. They followed her to the dining area.

After all of them had eaten, and Shetar fed both Tom and Chakotay,
another act that Chakotay swore someone would pay for, they found out
why she was so happy. She pointed the device at both of them and
pushed the button.

"Oh, shit," Tom hissed. "Not here." But it was too late, and they
both knew it.

Chakotay's hands became fists, as he hardened. "No." He tried to
fight it until Tom's hand touched his arm. He looked over at Tom and
was surprised when Tom kissed him gently and said,

"It's gonna happen. Go with it." He looked into Chakotay's eyes. "It
can be good. Just forget about them."

"Tom," Chakotay whispered, "you're straight."

Tom smiled. "Not by a long shot. Just stop fighting or it's gonna get
worse. We'll sort it out later."

Soon, despite the women watching them hungrily. Chakotay was covering
Tom. They were both soon rubbing against each other on the floor like
a bunch of teenagers. Their lips meeting over and over, as their sweat
slicked bodies rubbed together.

And for several moments, Chakotay forgot they were the evenings
entertainment. All he knew was Tom's lips. The feel of his hard body
sliding against him. The aching hardness in his cock and Tom's
answering hardness. He pushed against him and Tom answered. It was
good, so good. Chakotay reached between the two of them and stroked
Tom. More blood raced to his groin as Tom arched and groaned,

"More."

Chakotay firmly stroked him, watching Tom's face twist. Tom put both
of his feet on the ground and started driving up into the hand.
Chakotay kissed him and felt Tom's hand wrap into his hair and pull
him closer. The man could kiss that was for sure. Tom's other hand
joined his and increased the pace, and soon Tom came for him. He cried
out and Chakotay blocked out the gasps and whispers from the tables
around them and slowly brought Tom down. He stroked and kissed until
Tom opened his eyes.

He watched as Tom stiffened and looked past Chakotay, presumably at
Shetar. He saw Tom's face stiffen, and Chakotay understood what was
about to happen.

"Tom, I won't do it."

He slowly leaned up and kissed Chakotay.

"It's been a while for me. Use my cum."

"Tom, I won't do that here for them."

"You either do it willingly or Shetar is going to drive you to raping
me. She'll push you until you loose it."

Chakotay twisted as he felt his temple's throb slightly, and the fire
in him get hotter. How long could he stand this kind of pressure?
Tom's eyes met his. Then Chakotay remembered, Tom would be punished,
not him. He leaned in and kissed Tom.

Chakotay, closed his eyes as Tom rolled over onto his hands and
knees, Chakotay began to open Tom. Everything in him screamed to stop.
Yes, he was hard. Yes, he wanted Tom. Yes, he loved to top, but not
like this. His entire being screamed this was wrong.

Shetar obviously didn't like how long Chakotay was taking, because
suddenly he was driving himself into Tom.

"Spirits," he growled. "Good, so fucking good." He looked down and
saw blood, but it was nothing compared to the fire burning inside him.
He drove and pounded into Tom until he screamed his orgasm. When he
collapsed, he whispered brokenly. "I'm sorry, Tom."

"Not you, Chakotay," Tom answered him.

There was a smattering of applause from the surrounding tables.

Slowly, they returned to Shetar. She smiled at Chakotay's embarrassed
and angry demeanor. Someone was going to die for this, he vowed to
himself.

---

Two nights later, he and Tom were in the baths. Chakotay was
beginning to show the effects of what was being done to him. It was
completely against his nature to be controlled. On board Voyager, he
made decisions and went with them and that he could deal with, but
being forced was killing him.

To see Shetar's face every time she made him do something, to be
forced to respond to her attentions or be forced to touch Tom, or even
being forced to get her wine was more than he could handle. The pit
was the only thing keeping him sane at this moment. He was beginning
to look forward to the fights, to using the energy and anger that was
building inside him. He almost hoped he died there.

He knew he was swinging wildly between uncontrollable anger and a
black depression. He also knew this was when he was at his most
dangerous moments. This was when he killed people with his hands, this
was when he drank to much, this was when people should leave him
alone. The last time he was like this was when he realized what Seska
had done, and the time before that...when Tom had been captured.
Chakotay wondered about that for a minute. Why had he gotten so upset
about that? It wasn't the loss of the ship or the cargo, it had been
Tom taken by Starfleet in a Maquis uniform. He remembered thinking he
never stood a chance. He would be marked as a traitor by both
sides.

"Hey," Tom called quietly. "Can I do anything?"

He shook his head. "What can you do, Tom. As long as these devices
are in our heads, we have to wait. Wait until we can get off this
fucking planet or out of this city." He twisted his head as the device
activated. He had discovered through some carefully schooled thoughts
that thinking about escape was punishable, violence towards any woman
was punishable, and thoughts of direct disobedience were punishable.
However, it seemed the device was not able to determine what
non-gender related pronouns meant.

"Chak, no. We can't run."

"Why not?" Chakotay asked. "When they get back, they can track us
down."

"And they'll beam up a set of corpses."

"What are you talking about?"

"The implants."

"They'll kill us? How? I thought they weren't supposed to be able to
inflict actual damage."

"Not the control devices. The ones at the base of our skulls."

Chakotay did not like the sound of that. He remembered the sharp pain
in his neck when he had first woken up. "What're you talking about,
Tom?"

"When they did everything else, they implanted a small explosive
device. If we pass the barriers of the city, or if someone tries to
remove them, it explodes. Chak, it's set where...not only will it kill
us physically, it'll kill us mentally."

"How?"

"Well, it's set where it will severely damage the brain stem."

"Why didn't you mention this before, Tom?"

"I just found out about it today. Shetar took me outside and
I...well, I thought about running, and she explained it to me. Those
columns all around the city that we noticed, they're some sort of
trigger. Chak, if B'El beams us up, we are dead."

"The transporters are set to remove things like that. Foreign
organisms and dangerous mechanisms. That would be considered a
dangerous mechanism, wouldn't it."

"I don't know. I don't know what they're made of and I'm not a doctor
or a transporter tech."

"Oh, shit."

"That's kinda what I thought."

That night, Shetar was at a late meeting, which left Tom and Chakotay
alone in her quarters. Chakotay stared out the window onto the city.
He could see the column. He was trapped in a beautiful cage. The city
was actually very pretty, it was just the people that were ugly. It
was well lit and graceful and non-intrusive to the world around it.
The forests beyond had been beautiful, and he wanted to go into them
and be free. He wanted to...He sighed as Tom's hand touched his
shoulder.

"Stop torturing yourself, Chak."

"I can't help it, Tom. I was never wired to be caged." He felt Tom's
head on his shoulder and an arm wrap around his waist. Three weeks
ago, he would have hit him for that, now it was comforting. "I'm sorry
for the times I've hurt you. You know I wouldn't do that."

"I'm just glad to find out you don't hate me."

"I never hated you. I just wanted you to be different."

"And how exactly did you want me to be, Commander?"

"More respons... No, you are responsible. Maybe...less of a smart ass
all the time."

"I'll admit, I'm guilty of goading you, but I had my reasons."

Chakotay turned away from the window. "What reasons?"

"Chak, have you ever really wanted someone's approval and felt like
you couldn't get it. That you just weren't what they wanted?"

Pictures of his father flitted across his mind. "Yeah."

"So do I. First with my father, and then with you. How did you deal
with it?"

"I did exactly what I wanted to even though I knew they wouldn't
approve."

Tom smiled. "Got it in one, Commander."

Now that made him feel guilty. He was the one...now hold on. Tom had
to accept accountability for his own actions, just like Chakotay had.
He had accepted going off to Starfleet wasn't one of his most
brilliant ideas. However, he probably could have backed off on how
hard he rode...Shetar flashed through his mind. Chakotay sighed as he
decided he could have been nicer to Tom.

"Shit, Chakotay, would you quit torturing yourself. So we didn't get
along, it happens. Look at me and B'Elanna, who would have thought we
would end up going out together."

"I know, but I feel like I should be able to do something. Like I
should have done something before this happened."

"Look, Janeway's obviously gone off the deep end," Tom put his hands
to his temples.

"If you think more vaguely it won't hurt."

After a moment, Tom nodded. "Anyway, no one saw this coming. B'El and
I had a date the next evening."

"Mountain climbing?"

"Klingon Battle techniques."

"Ooh, sounds like fun."

"It can lead to some pretty intense sex. Only holoprogram I pack a
regenerator for." They both laughed. "I did make it level 7, once."

"I made it to 8."

"How do you get past the three Klingons at the cave entrance."

"I used a phaser."

Tom looked shocked and then laughed. "You aren't supposed to use a
mechanical weapons."

"I know."

Tom laughed even harder. "Finally after all these years, I find out
the truth. The great Chakotay cheats to beat a holoprogram."

"Three Klingons is a little one sided. I won't even face three
Cardassians without a phaser." Chakotay went and got a piece of fruit
and ate it.

"Oh, will B'Elanna ever be heartbroken when she hears about this."

"B'Elanna's tough. She'll survive."

He caught Tom staring at him. "Talk to me, Paris."

"I wish to hell and back that you had a last name."

"Why?"

"So I could say it with the same disdain you say mine with."

"You do. You are the only person I know that can make Commander sound
like 'You Cardassian slime'." Chakotay smiled and threw him a piece of
fruit.

Tom smiled. "I do try." He took a big bite out of the fruit. "So I
guess our little secrets are out."

"Kinda hard to lie when you're hooked up to a EEG."

"Not really. You just start by concentrating on something else and
keep your mind firmly fixed on that while you answer. How do you think
I ever passed the entrance evals."

Chakotay paused, and then shook his head. "You never fail to amaze
me." He got a drink of water. "so, now that we know we have the hots
for each other, what do we do."

"Is it just the hots, Chakotay? Or is it something more?"

"I never let myself feel anything for you, Tom. I didn't want you to
think I was going to..."

"Let me breeze my way through on the Paris smile?"

"Something like that. I think you could be so much more than what you
have been."

"I make a pretty good slave." Chakotay frowned. "Joke, it was a
joke."

"Maybe that's why you're dealing with it so much better than I
am."

"Oh, don't believe that. I'm just better at ignoring things than you
are. You aren't the type of person that can delude themselves. Me? I
do it all the time."

"Tom, you sell yourself so short sometimes."

"Not really, Chakotay. I know where I'm good and where I'm not. I
know I screwed up on Caldick Prime. I knew I was screwing up with you
and the Maquis, but there are times, not even I can hide the hurt. So,
I get sarcastic." There was silence for a moment. "Chak, did you
really think I was going to turn you over to...her?"

"At first, yes. Then I thought about it and I did a little digging
into Auckland, and the convoluted flight you all took through the
badlands, and I realized you were just trying to get out of that hell
hole."

"I will never forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I
realized you were coming on board Voyager and what it must have looked
like to you."

Chakotay chuckled. "I bet that did get to you. No more than when I
saw you sitting at her helm."

Tom got real quiet. "You never answered me, Chakotay."

He sighed and walked around the room. "Do I love you? No. Do I like
you? I never would have spent a moment on you if I didn't see some
qualities that I could admire."

Tom sighed. "Better than you hate me, I guess. Of course after seeing
me like this," Tom gestured to himself. "I guess I should be glad you
don't see me as a whore."

"If we were back on Voyager, what's the first thing you would do?"

"You mean after taking revenge?" Chakotay nodded. "Get this shit off
me and put on some old blue jeans, crank some blues up and get drunk.
How about you?"

"Long shower."

"Water? Steaming hot."

"Just short of burning."

"Sounds good." They both sighed.

"What about you?"

"I told you..."

"No. Do you just have the hots for me?"

"You do have a fine ass," Tom said and they both laughed. "I want
your respect, Chakotay. I want to maybe be the person you want me to
be."

"Well, that's too bad, because in the last two weeks, I've found out
I like your smart ass mouth. Yes, Tom I like you. Above and beyond
that, I don't know, but the fact that the first thing you would do is
strip every bit of this planet off you, tells me a lot. She's wrong.
You aren't a whore."

"Thanks."

---

The next day, Chakotay saw something very interesting, in fact,
intriguing. A fight broke out in the pit, one of the guards aimed the
device and pressed the button, just as another man stepped in the
path. The second man was punished. It didn't stop her from punishing
the first one, but it was an interesting bit of information.

When he was taken to Shetar's rooms, he found Tom in a corner. He had
been beaten severely. Chakotay rolled him onto his back.

"Tom, what happened?" Chakotay was horrified to see the bruises on
Tom's face, and the strap marks on his chest and arms.

"I think I pissed Shetar off," came the toothy answer. "Or maybe it
was Reigh. I don't really remember, the...the thing was going off.
Could have been both."

"What did you do? Piss on their lunch?"

"No, I told them that you were a man and without the device they
would never be able to control you. I told them she was a berserk
egomaniac and they were disillusioned fools." Tom smiled vaguely. "I
think they took offense."

"That was dumb, Tom," Chakotay said, because he knew they could. They
had been controlling him very easily using Tom. "How bad is it?"

"Somewhere between level 4 and 5 with the safeties off," Tom
groaned.

It took his mind a second to realize Tom was talking about the
Klingon battle program. "Anything broken?"

"I don't think so, but my head really hurts."

Chakotay gently lifted him off the floor and laid him on the couch.
He quickly got a rag, some cold water and applied it to the worst of
the bruises. That was it, Chakotay thought, he would not and could not
deal with anyone being abused in this fashion. The rage he had been
holding at bay slowly spread through his body. The anger well-headed
through his heart. He had had enough!

Shetar picked that moment to come back into her quarters.

"Stop," she ordered imperiously.

Chakotay continued to bathe Tom's wounds. "Fuck you."

"I said stop, Chakotay. Unless you want to see him beaten again,
stop."

How dare she. How dare this coward threaten Tom Paris to get her
freaking way. How dare this excuse for a leader use two people against
each other for their own perverted sense of enjoyment.

"You sorry, cow-eyed, bitch." Chakotay stood up and faced her.

Shetar quailed under his stare, and Chakotay enjoyed every single
second of it. It wasn't until he took a step that she snapped out of
it. She pointed the device at Tom and pressed the button.

What she wasn't expecting was him stepping in between her and Tom. He
twisted as the spike of pain shot through his head, but he stayed on
his feet. Shetar's face mirrored terror when he didn't fall to his
knees. She moved and tried to punish Tom again, but once more Chakotay
managed to get in between them. He couldn't stay on his feet anymore
as the pain became more intense. Instead he draped himself over Tom.
Keeping his body in between Shetar and Tom. In the end, it was
probably fruitless, he remembered his body being pushed off Tom's but
he didn't remember Tom being punished.

---

He awoke to someone bathing his forehead with cool water. A gentle
touch. His eyes tried to open, but he couldn't manage to keep them
open.

"Hey there. Back among the living?"

"Tom?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Where? Where are we?"

"I'm not sure."

Chakotay tried to look around, but his eyes still refused to stay
open.

"What happened?"

"I woke up to Shetar kicking the crap out of you while you were being
punished. She just kept pushing the button over and over, and you
weren't even moving. I really don't think you were breathing except
these little gasps. I was afraid she was gonna kill you."

Tom helped him sit up and gave him a cup of water. Chakotay sipped it
gratefully. "That explains my head and my side. Then what
happened?"

"Uh, I stood up and took the device away from her."

Chakotay paused with the cup halfway to his mouth. "You what?"

"Yeah, and surprisingly, I didn't get punished for it. I didn't hurt
her. I just took the control away and turned it off."

"Thank you. Then what?"

"Then Reigh showed up and I got punished."

"I'm sorry, Tom."

"Honestly, Chakotay, the look on Shetar's face when I grabbed her
wrist was worth every single second of it."

"That took guts."

Chakotay sighed, finished the water and leaned his head back.

"What's wrong?"

"My eyes hurt and the light is really bugging me."

"Probably an after effect of that punishment. Go back to sleep,
Chakotay. You need to rest."

---

He woke up to someone hand shaking his shoulder.

"Uh, Commander, you need to wake up. They brought food."

Chakotay still could not get his eyes to function. The lights were
too bright. He shielded his eyes with his hand, but there was still
too much. Tom was trying to help him sit up.

"Still can't see?"

"I can't keep my eyes open, it's too bright in here."

There was a moment of silence. "Chakotay, it's darker in here than
anywhere else."

Tom tried washing his eyes, but the only time Chakotay could keep
them open was when there was virtually no light.

"Can you see anything?

"Only blurry images, and the light is painful."

"What I wouldn't give for a tricorder." Tom took his hand and put
something in it. Chakotay quickly recognized it as a bowl of the gruel
they were fed in the pits. He took a swallow.

"Where are we, Tom?"

"A cage like you were kept in, but I think we're farther
underground."

"Why?"

"No windows, and it feels moister."

"Smells musty, too." Chakotay blinked a few times trying to see if he
could get his bearings. "What do you think is wrong with my eyes,
Tom?"

"I think it was the pressure from the punishment. I'm serious, Chak.
You were as stiff as a board like you were in some sort of seizure. I
think that's why we have headaches afterwards, too. The actual
punishment may not cause any damage, but the way we react to the pain
does. Pain will drive your blood pressure through the roof."

Chakotay went very still. "Tom, are you saying I had a stroke?"

"It's possible," Tom said with quiet grief. "You gotta do what they
want, Chakotay. If it was a stroke, or even bursting a blood vessel
near your optic nerves, more punishment will only make it worse."

"Tom, I can't do that."

"You do it, Chakotay or the next time, they could kill you." He heard
Tom move closer to him. "Chak, if they do manage to take over Voyager,
if they manage to get back here, what good is a blind Captain. If they
don't, we're stuck here and personally, I would rather not go through
the rest of my life here without one friendly face to look at. Now
this may clear up, and it may not, but you have to avoid being
punished. Do you understand?"

"I'm blind not brain damaged, Tom. I understand," But his voice was a
whisper as the truth settled in. He might be blind for the rest of his
life.

Tom had him lay down on the cot, and Chakotay soon fell back to
sleep.

---

"Chak, wake up."

"What?" he asked groggily. Something in Tom's tone had brought him
out of a deep sleep.

"We have visitors."

"Stand up, Chakotay." That was Shetar's voice.

He slowly rolled to the side of the bed and to his feet. He tried to
act like nothing was wrong. He looked in the direction of her
voice.

"What's wrong with your eyes?"

"I imagine your overzealous use of punishment."

"Very funny. Now tell me the truth."

"I'm not lying. Since I woke up, I haven't been able to see."

"Well, isn't that interesting. Reigh?"

"It's possible. You know we've had several die from punishment. I
always thought it was from weak hearts."

There was silence for a moment.

"Remove Thomas from the cell."

Chakotay was shoved against the bars of the cage, and pinned there.
By the time he found a hand hold to push back on, they were gone. The
cell door locked.

"No, you can't leave him like this."

"Take him to my quarters," Shetar said.

Chakotay heard steps going down the hall, but he knew she hadn't
left. Tom had. He'd been taken down the hall to his left, but Chakotay
suspected Shetar was still there. He waited.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Then her laughter echoed down the
halls as she walked away. He heard a heavy door close with a clang of
solidity.

When he was pretty sure he was alone, Chakotay moved back to the cot.
When he was obviously not where he thought he was, he put a hand out
to try to find it. When his hand brushed the blanket, he sat down. He
was in trouble. Chakotay quickly quelled his fears. Okay, if it was
pressure, maybe relaxation would help. That's how the Vulcans did it.
He sat back and started to meditate.

He had been in the pits for 3 days completely alone, with the
exception of meals being brought to him. That's how he knew it was
three days. His eyes hadn't improved at all, but he could at least
open his eyes a little and get a blurry glimpse of his surroundings.
He was reasonably confident moving around the cell. He had made it a
priority the first day to find his way around. Luckily, there wasn't
just a lot to trip over in here.

---

When lunch was brought the third day, Chakotay moved forward until he
touched the bars. There was the door jam, three bars over and he bent
to get the bowl.

"Is it frightening, Chakotay?" He almost dropped the bowl.

"Hello, Shetar."

"Speak my name again and I will punish you."

"Should I kneel?"

"I'm bringing you out today. I assume you've been taken down a peg or
two."

Chakotay didn't answer her.

"Yes, I think you'll be much easier to deal with now."

He was led through the halls after his hands were chained together.
He found the experience unnerving. He didn't trust these women,
especially not after they let him trip up the stairs and laughed at
him when he fell. His hands being bound only made him feel more
vulnerable, and the light up here was blinding. He had to keep his
eyes closed, but instinct kept screaming he open them. When they
stopped and opened a door, Chakotay was completely disoriented. Then
he was man-handled into the chair. A needle was inserted into his
bound arm.

He relaxed quickly as he sat in the chair, realizing he had been
drugged. He felt hands attach the leads to him, and the gentle brush
of the wires against his bare chest. He sat quietly until the door
opened and he tried to look in that direction.

"How is he?"

"He's much more docile, Shetar."

"That's good. Have there been any other effects?"

"I'm picking up a minor heart fluctuation. The other male may have
been right. The extended punishment may have damaged him."

"If we were to breed him, would he pass that on?"

"No!" Chakotay growled. A hand came in hard contact with his face. It
was more shocking than painful. Still he jumped when it happened.

"Shut up."

"Shetar, this male is the same one as before mentally. This hasn't
changed anything. If you breed him, chances are he'll throw another
strong willed child."

He heard Shetar sigh, but he was thrilled. He didn't have to worry
about that, yet.

"Finish the examination."

Chakotay was taken to another room and put on the table. The fuzzy
feeling and the lack of balance definitely convinced Chakotay to
follow where the hands led him. The exam was horrible, he could hear
and feel people moving around him, but once he was strapped down, he
couldn't defend himself and he couldn't pin down the movements of so
many people. They forced his eyes open and the bright lights were like
daggers. Despite his protests, they continued. But as he got tense, he
felt himself relax into the table, they must have sedated him
again.

"This is insane. To have to keep this one calm. She ought to put him
down."

"I will give you the honor of telling Shetar she should do that. You
know how she feels about this one."

"Personally, I'm surprised she didn't kill him."

"She almost did from what I heard."

Finally, they lifted his head up, he felt something placed over his
eyelids, instinctively he tried to blink, but he couldn't. They must
have taped his eyes closed. Then something soft and cool wrapped
around his head. He relaxed for a moment, until he felt hands at his
neck. He felt the metal and belatedly realized what it was. He jerked
at the restraints, and tried to pull his head away, but they easily
fitted a collar around his throat.

A few moments later, they released him. He slowly, sluggishly sat up.
A hand came under his arm as he tried to stand up. He pulled away not
wanting anyone to touch him. He lost his balance and fell off to one
side. Nothing in his body was responding as quickly as it should have
or the way it should have.

He hit a side table of some sort and his hands searched whatever was
on top of it. He vaguely reasoned that if they were afraid of Shetar
and she didn't want him hurt, he could fight his way out. His hands
closed over something, and he dropped it as it cut into his hand.

"Get him," one of them hissed.

He turned, still leaning on the surface heavily.

"Get away."

The laughter made him try to stand up, but he lost his balance and
sprawled backwards.

"Oh, great, get him back on the table."

He struck out with whatever was in his hand. He had enough sense to
only think of protecting himself and not who he was protecting himself
from.

"Get away!"

A hand closed on his wrist and he jerked away, and slammed his head
into the wall beside him as he lost his balance again. He held the
thing in front of him, swinging it from side to side, sliding down
into a crouch.

"Oh, shit! He cut me!"

"Hold still," a voice to his right ordered. "No one will touch you.
Everyone calm down."

"Don't!" someone ordered. "You punish him, you could kill him or
worse."

"Then get Shetar."

A door slammed. Chakotay crouched in the corner, they weren't going
to do this to him. He would not let this happen. Someone moved. He
jerked that way. He wondered why he wasn't being punished.

"I'm bleeding Sheena, bad."

"Move back and I'll stitch it up."

"What about him?"

"You keep an eye on him, as long as he's calm just leave him there.
Shetar can deal with her little pet."

"I'm not a pet."

He was met with quiet disdain. He started to fade once or twice but
the sound of movement brought him back to what was going on. A door
opened.

"What is going on?"

"Your pet, Shetar. He's managed to hurt Karee, and has barricaded
himself into that corner. Since we can't punish him, he's yours to
deal with."

"Thomas."

Tom? Chakotay's head came up. He heard quiet steps.

"Chakotay? It's me, Chak. Give me the knife."

"She won't punish me, Tom. She's afraid of what it'll do."

"Okay, but you aren't doing yourself any good in that corner. Let me
help you."

"This is ridiculous."

He heard steps and moved the knife in that direction.

"Stay away from him," Tom ordered. Chakotay knew where Tom was, and
whoever was coming at him stopped.

"I'm gonna come closer to you, Chak. Just stay calm. Okay."

"Chakotay give up the weapon or I will have the flesh beaten off
Thomas' back."

Chakotay's throat tightened. Damn, they could still control him. This
had to end. It was killing him. He was blind, he was helpless and he
was a liability to Tom. He had a better chance at surviving without
Chakotay slowing him down. He made a decision. Chakotay flipped the
knife around, but found his forearm was caught by a stronger arm.

"No! I won't let you kill yourself, now give me the freaking knife."
The knife was wrestled from his grasp. He ran out of energy and
collapsed. He felt strong arms curl under his arm and around his
waist.

"They put a collar on me, Tom," he whispered, as Tom helped him stand
up.

"Don't worry about it." He started to walk and Chakotay followed
where he led. He heard metal items on the floor being kicked out of
the way. Then they stopped. Chakotay looked around blindly.

"He's your responsibility, Thomas."

"Then let me take care of him, Lady."

Chakotay let Tom lead him through the complex.

"Stairs."

Chakotay obediently walked up a flight of stairs. Strangely grateful
Tom warned him. He hoped it was the drugs that were bringing out all
these emotions.

"How are you feeling?"

Chakotay laughed as Tom asked that question. "Drugged,
angry...blind... useless."

"Not to me, Chak. You're the only thing keeping me sane here." They
turned a corner. "How are your eyes?"

"The same. They said they were getting fluctuations from my heart
beat." He waited but Tom didn't say anything. "Was it a stroke?"

"Yeah, Chak. It was a stroke and they don't have the technology to
fix it."

"Tom, I can't live like this."

Tom stopped and a breeze blew over Chakotay. Tom must have opened a
door. The breeze smelled of rain and mud and trees. Tom led him
through a door and closed it. Chakotay moved towards the breeze, his
hands extended out in front of him.

"You're almost there, Chak. About three more steps."

Chakotay took the three and then felt. He found the windowsill and
stepped up. The wind was cooler than usual, but it smelled wonderful.
Then he realized he may never see a tree again. He might never see
Dorvan again.

"How long?" he asked quietly.

"A little better than 3 weeks."

"No, how long before they can't fix my eyes?" Chakotay inhaled
deeply, relishing the freshness. Home.

There was a moment of silence. "I'd say a month."

"That's it then. I'll stay alive that long. After that, I won't live
as a blind pet, Tom."

"I'll make you a deal, Chakotay. They aren't here in a month and
we'll do each other, 'cause I ain't staying here by myself."

"Deal."

"Smells like a spring morning at the estate."

"Smells like Dorvan in the early morning."

They both stood at the window. Chakotay touched the collar, his
fingers exploring the cold, rounded edges, the keyhole, the hinges.

"Commander, it doesn't mean anything."

"Yes, it does. I can't lie to myself, Tom. I'm wearing a collar.
Makes me wonder whether I was just fooling myself on Voyager. Making
myself believe that I was a strong man."

Tom started laughing. "Commander, if you weren't a strong man, do you
really think she would have dumped you down here?" Tom's hand came
down on Chakotay's shoulder. "Don't give up. Together we'll get
through this."

"Yeah." They stood there for a moment of companionable silence. "How
are you doing?"

"Pretty good. The forced thing is getting really hard to deal
with."

"That proves that she was wrong about you too, Tom. Because if it
weren't hard for you to deal with, she would have been right."

"Do you think they're even trying?"

"What do you think? B'El's two favorite men are down here. She'll
overthrow the entire ship by herself if she has to."

Their moment of quiet was soon interrupted as Shetar came in.

"So Chakotay, are you ready to behave?"

Chakotay turned around to face the voice he heard. For a moment, he
just stood there, remembering everything. Remembering being a young
man riding a horse on Dorvan. The freedom as they both joined in the
race, moving together. The first time he wore a Starfleet uniform, the
pride he felt as he looked at himself in the mirror. The first time he
commanded his own ship in the name of the Maquis, the responsibility
and sense of self. When they had run the Kazon off Voyager, standing
there so proudly.

Then the sight of Tom jerking helplessly in the throes of Shetar's
punishment and the pain it caused. Their being forced to have sex and
forced to fight and the helplessness of the device in his head. The
degradation of the steel around his throat and Tom's. The black hatred
in his heart for the woman he assumed was standing there with her
hands on her hips and that impertinent expression on her face. He also
remembered the fear in her eyes when he had defied her.

A slow quiet smile spread across his face. He stood up straight. He
was Chakotay of Dorvan. He was Chakotay, the Captain of the Crazy
Horse.

"I am who I am."

"And what does that mean?"

"That means you either accept me for who I am, or you will destroy
me."

"You expect me to kow tow to you. You are nothing but a slave. If we
can figure out how to cut out that damned strong willed side of yours
or guarantee a female, I'll breed you like livestock. I may even do it
now, and just kill any males you throw."

That hit Chakotay hard, but knowing he would not have any male
children raised in this environment, made it bearable.

"All I can say to that is thank you."

Shetar screamed in outrage. Chakotay remained on his feet, knowing
Shetar would not punish him. He had no idea what Tom was doing, but he
knew what he had to do. He heard her approach him, his face whipping
to the side as she struck him with an open hand. He stood passive,
knowing any aggression would be met with aggression.

"Kneel, you loathsome beast."

Chakotay went to one knee, but refused to go to the second. He could
feel the anger coming of Shetar in waves. Then he felt the flutter of
her dress against his face as she turned and stomped from the room.

"That was interesting," Tom said from his left.

"I wasn't sure how she was going to take it, but you were right Tom.
I am what I am. A collar, a control device, nothing changes who I am."
Chakotay said, as he stood up. He swayed to one side, and Tom's arms
came around his waist again.

"Okay, but let's get you sitting down before you fall down."

"That would be good." Chakotay tried to picture the room and realized
where Tom was leading him to that despicable couch. "Tom, not there.
You're area."

He knew Shetar had a little alcove where Tom slept some nights, in
fact they had both slept there. It was small, but comfortable.

"Okay," Tom replied quietly.

In a moment, Tom gently helped him sit down. They both sighed.
Chakotay tried to stay sitting up, but between the fights, the
emotional upheaval and the drugs, he was dead tired. Tom lead him to
where a few pillows were.

"What now, Tom?"

"We wait for her to come back," Tom said gently pulling a cover over
Chakotay. "Sleep. I've got the watch, Commander."

Chakotay was soon fast asleep.

---

He woke up holding Tom. He was spooned up behind him. It was very
nice. Then reality kicked in. What time was it? Was Shetar there? He
felt particularly defenseless this way.

He shook Tom and whispered, "Tom?"

"Hmmm."

"You were supposed to be..."

"Chak, it's the middle of the night. Shetar let you sleep through
dinner." Tom rolled onto his back.

"So she's here?" Chakotay started to pull away. he didn't want to
give her any ammunition to use against them. Tom's hands stopped
him.

"No, she went to Reigh's apartments. We're alone."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She didn't ask my permission." Chakotay thought for a
moment. Then he felt Tom's hands on his face. "You feeling okay?"

"Better than earlier. More clearheaded."

"Good." But the hands continued to quest. He felt Tom trace his
tattoo.

Spirits, how long had it been since someone touched him like this,
since he was something more than the Commander to someone. He caught
Tom's wrist and held it to his chest.

"Tom, why?"

"I need something other than what she does to me."

That was probably a very honest and painful thing for him to say.
Chakotay realized he held Tom's ego in his hand. The most fragile and
precious thing Tom could give to anyone. Chakotay gently lifted Tom's
hand to his face, and kissed the palm of his hand.

"I care, Tom."

Chakotay was pushed back to the mat, and Tom rolled up to his side,
and began to touch and kiss him. Chakotay explored where he could with
his hands and lips. He felt himself harden naturally, and exalted in
the sudden newness and specialness that entailed. He felt Tom's
hardness as well and he gently stroked it over and over. Every time
Tom gasped or bit down in his excitement, Chakotay felt himself get
that much harder.

He ran his thumb over the very top of it, and Tom groaned. Chakotay
gently pushed Tom back to the mat and this time. He took Tom in his
mouth and began to tease and excite him like an anxious lover. That
was when he realized he was Tom's anxious lover. He wanted to share in
this special bond they tried to strip away from them. That was when
Tom whispered,

"C'mere." He moved Chakotay to align their bodies, and he felt Tom
take his cock in his mouth.

"Spirits, so sweet. So sweet, Tom."

Then he took Tom in his mouth again. Soon they were both sweaty and
moaning. Chakotay didn't need his eyes to do this. Neither of them was
in a hurry to finish, but soon the pressure over took them and they
were stroking into each other. He held Tom's hips down as he swallowed
him. He felt Tom groan and it started a chain reaction until both of
them exploded. Both made sure the other was completely sated before
they curled up in each others arms again and slept.

---

The next morning, Chakotay woke to a gentle hand on his arm.

"Chak, she'll be here soon. C'mon, you need to wake up."

He instinctively tried to open his eyes, but then remembered they
were covered. Tom helped him sit up and lean against the wall behind
them.

"Morning," he said in that low morning voice.

"Morning. How are you feeling today?"

"Oh, like I took on the three Klingons at the cave entrance hand to
hand."

Tom laughed. "Here, have some coffee." A cup was pressed into his
hands. He sniffed at it and sighed appreciatively.

"Tom, about last night..."

"Chak, I appreciate what you did. If we get out of here, I won't tell
anyone," Tom said, quickly cutting Chakotay off.

Chakotay sat there for a minute, he should have expected that. Tom
was probably not the type of person that stuck around for long
mornings after.

"That's not it," Chakotay said. He drew a deep breath. "I was going
to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For sharing that with me. Tom, they're stripping everything that
makes us human away. They control everything, but they can't take away
our sharing with each other." Tom was silent. "Tom, when I felt myself
get hard because I was enjoying what we were doing, it felt so damn
good."

"Yeah, it did, didn't it."

"And I know it was hard for you to open up to me, especially me, like
that. I've given you a hard time, and I'm sorry."

"I deserved most of it, Commander."

"Maybe, but if I hadn't been such a hard ass... Well, it might have
been different."

"You know what, Commander. In a way, I liked it. I liked being
challenged to be better."

"Stop that."

"What?"

"Calling me Commander. You do it when you're...hiding,"

"I'm not hiding."

"The hell you aren't, Lieutenant," Chakotay said. "You're hiding
behind rank and rules. When you're feeling comfortable, you use my
name. You start getting scared or unsure, and the brat comes out."

"Brat?!"

"Brat," Chakotay said decisively. He heard Tom humph and smiled.
"Amazing what you can see when you're blind, Lieutenant."

"Hey, if I can't call you Commander, you can't call me
Lieutenant."

"Fine!" he replied with mock indignation, but he felt Tom loosen up a
little. He finished his coffee. "Any more?"

"Nope. That was it."

"So now what?"

"Like I said, we wait for Shetar."

Their wait wasn't a long one. Shetar and someone else came it.
Chakotay could tell by the multiple footsteps. He turned and was
immediately slapped with a considerable bit of force. It was enough to
knock him backwards several feet.

"Kneel!" It was Reigh.

Chakotay bit back his temper and went to one knee. It was the kick
that took him completely off his feet.

"Lady...," Tom began.

"Shut up, you insufferable piece of flesh." Chakotay assumed that
Reigh was in a bad mood. He returned to his previous position of being
on one knee.

"Fine, you think you are so high and mighty. Come with me."

Chakotay felt her hand at his throat and he panicked when he realized
it was a leash. That was until she started to drag him. Reigh was not
weak. He had a choice: walk or be dragged. He started to stumble after
her.

He cried out when the world disappeared from under his feet, and he
fell down the low staircase. Reigh never slacked off, not even when he
bumped into several pieces of furniture. In fact, she pulled harder
when he slowed down. Finally, he found himself with one hand around
the leash and the other out, trying to at least miss the big stuff.

They burst outside. Chakotay could hear voices, feel the sun on his
face, the rougher surface under his feet. He was caught as the door
swung back shut and got knocked into the door frame. He would not beg.
He wouldn't even ask.

"Steps," she called, but she didn't slow down at all as Chakotay
stumbled his way down them. At one point in time, he considered
yanking the leash away from her, but he got a warning.

Then he felt dirt and rocks bruising his feet, voices got louder and
he felt more people bumping into him. He tried to picture where they
were, but he didn't even know which exit she had taken. He was turned
around and could only follow the leash that was making the collar
around his throat bite into the back of his neck.

She swung him around and when he met a wall forcibly, he was stunned.
It was at that moment, she jerked his hands behind him and bound the
manacles. What was even crueler was when she ran the leash between the
cuffs and jacked his arms up behind to the extent it was painful, and
the collar was close to choking him. He head was yanked back by his
hair.

"Now, Chakotay, if and when you make it back to Shetar's quarters,
she may consider letting you live, but remember one thing. You wander
outside this city and you are a dead man. Until you make it to the
compound you are on your own and at the mercies of the women of this
city."

She released his hair and Chakotay felt her presence leave. It was
then he heard the laughter and the twitters from around him.

Oh Spirits, Chakotay thought. I'm in the middle of a market. I'm in
the middle of a market, trussed up like a turkey. He pressed himself
back against the wall, but felt a hand on his chest. He tried to pull
away, but the damned device started to go off. Then someone pulled the
covering from around his hips and there were appreciative murmurs.

"No," he said quietly. "Don't do this to me. Damn it, I can't even
see."

He was pressed to the wall by many bodies.

---

I couldn't believe what they had done. Shetar and Reigh had been
nothing but cruel, demanding and heartless, but this, this was beyond
anything I had ever seen. Watching from the balcony, I saw Reigh lead
Chakotay deep into the markets and abandon him there after making sure
he was completely helpless. I saw the woman press him up against the
wall, and then I watched him slowly slide down it.

"Lady, please don't do this to him." But the cruel smile on her face
told me that she was enjoying this. My heart ached as I imagined what
they were doing to him. By everything holy, he couldn't even protect
himself.

"We shall see how proud he is when he gets back."

"You're...you're going to leave him there?"

"It was actually Reigh's idea to make him more tractable, but I
agreed."

I remembered the gentle way Chakotay had touched me the night before.
How we had shared and what was being stripped away from him now.

"Lady, please, is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

Reigh came striding back into the room and joined us on the balcony.
She stared down and laughed. I wanted to scream, to leap the 20 feet
to the ground and go get the Com..Chakotay. I was completely
unprepared when she pulled a scarf loose, slid it between my teeth and
tied it tightly behind my head. Then with a sharp slap to my face, she
and Shetar walked out of the room.

"Do not leave my quarters and don't touch that gag," Shetar
ordered.

I stared at the door they left open. How cruel could anyone be? He
was fucking helpless down there and they leave me like this. I would
rip their fucking thr.....It was several moments before the device
released me from the punishment.

I knew I couldn't leave the room. I tried that before and Shetar had
found me unconscious on the floor, the door open, my attempted
disobedience obvious. I had to watch him. Don't ask me why. It wasn't
some morbid curiosity, it was a bond. The two of us were stuck down
here. I had to watch. So, I stood on the balcony watching Chakotay
stumble blindly through the market.

I stood there and watched how many women surge and cover his body.
Some of them beat him, others touched him, stroking him, others
tripped him. I saw one climb over him, and the others, gods above,
they stood there and watched like Chakotay was some sort of side show.
I couldn't believe I was seeing this.

I couldn't believe this world. It was insane, absolutely fucking
insane. He was a human being, my mind screamed. More tractable, my
ass. They wanted to break him!

Then the crowd broke up and I saw him clearly. Gods, in only a short
amount of time, he was kneeling close to the wall, covered in welts
and bruises and blood, but what really hurt me was his head was
down.

'Lift your head up, Chak. Come on. Lift your fucking head up. You can
do this,' I coached mentally.

As if he heard me, Chakotay's head slowly and carefully came up. He
looked around blindly, listening to the sounds around him. He slowly
and carefully stood up.

'Come on, Big man, walk this way,' I chanted to myself inanely, but I
couldn't leave him there. But my heart screamed as he went too far and
entered another area of the market.

I could see several young girls playing, I assumed Chakotay heard
them when he went to them. I wanted to cry when one of them tripped
him and even I could tell by her imperious stance, she was ordering
Chakotay to kneel. This kid must have been all of ten maybe eleven
years old!

Gods above, why couldn't they have done this to me. I could deal with
it. Then I felt tears spill when I watched Chakotay go to one knee for
this...child, only to watch her point him in the wrong direction. I
screamed against the gag.

For the rest of the day, I stood and watched helplessly as he was
abused.

Then Shetar came back in. I was nearly wild. Chakotay was headed for
the gates, the columns. People had lost interest in him, and were
basically ignoring him. He was going to die, and they were laughing.
No one was stopping a blind man walking to his death. I looked at
Shetar, her smile was evil, completely totally evil.

"Do you want to save him, Thomas?"

I knelt, put my head down and nodded. She laughed.

"Go."

Before she finished saying the word, I was headed for the door. I was
ripping the gag out of my mouth. I leaped down the stairs. He was
about 30 feet from the columns. As I spun around the balustrade at the
bottom of the stairs, I realized I didn't have much time. I hit the
doors, and saw him. He was moving faster than I thought he was.

"Chakotay!" I screamed.

He lifted his head and looked around, but stumbled on something. I
was surprised he even heard me above the hubbub of the crowds. He
started to move again and I was having to weave my way through the
crowd.

"Stop!" I raced as fast as I could. He was still moving. I tried not
to touch anyone. Just what I needed: get my ass punished while
Chakotay stumbled past the columns.

Finally, in sheer desperation, I threw a flying tackle and took him
down.

"I'm sorry, Chak, so sorry," I whispered, to identify who had just
grabbed him. I sat up and pulled him to me. He had fallen face
first.

"Tom?" I heard a note of desperation, relief and fear.

"Yeah, it's me." I released his arms and helped him straighten them
out. You know they had to ache. I rubbed his arms and then released
the manacles. "It's okay. I gotcha, Chak. It's okay." I repeated as
his arms came around him. I held him for a moment, cradling his head
to my chest. Then I took his hand and put it on the column. "You
almost killed yourself, Big Man. Told you, you aren't leaving here
without me."

He felt it, and I saw the realization dawn on his face.

"They were just going to let me...walk through these?"

"Yeah," I panted. We sat there for a few moments until he sat up. I
touched his arms. "Are you okay?"

"Get me the hell out of here."

I slowly stood back up and helped him stand up. "How do the baths
sound?"

He just nodded, pulling into me tightly. A woman nearby laughed and
made some snide remark, and instinctively I wrapped an arm around
Chakotay. He had jumped at her laugh. I pressed my lips to his
forehead.

"It's okay, Chak. It's gonna be okay."

We just stood there for a moment, until his breathing calmed. It was
getting so hard to control my temper. Commander Chakotay, one of the
bravest fucking men I knew had his head down and was leaning into
me.

"Let's go, Tom," he said, but I knew what he was thinking. 'Why
didn't you let me go, Tom? If this is my life, why didn't you just let
me go?'

There was nothing I could say. I reached over and released the leash
hanging from the collar, and threw the hated thing away. That was when
I saw them coming.

"Shetar and Reigh."

I felt him stiffen. Whether it was from fear or anger, I didn't
know.

"Come on, Chak," I coached. If he came unglued on them in public,
they would kill him. "You did it for Janeway. Don't fight them.
Please, Chak. Don't leave me here alone."

Still he stayed on his feet.

"Chak, let me give you a quick life lesson from the book of Paris. If
you really believe your crew will come back for you. If you really
believe that, do what they want. When we're free you can come back and
beat the shit out of them. Just consider it a tactical retreat.

"You're right." And I watched a sight that twisted in my guts for a
long, long time. Commander Chakotay went to his knees. Reigh and
Shetar both nodded approvingly. When they were sure all the
surrounding women had seen us kneel to them, Shetar wrinkled her
nose.

"He smells like a pigsty. Clean him up."

I almost lost it.

When I got him to the baths, he was being really quiet. Quiet like my
Dad used to get before he beat the crap out of me. Needless to say, as
we both got into the warm water, I was really unsettled.

"You're making me nervous, Com...Chak."

"What do you want, Paris? A song and dance. That had to be the most
humiliating experience of my life."

"More so than when Janeway cut you out of the loop and didn't tell
you I wasn't really a traitor? C'mon, Chak, I made you eat crow over
that for weeks." I was working a lather up in the sponge. I didn't
really want him to remember the incident, but if it would ease the
burn of this escapade, so be it. "The entire 'fleet crew was laughing
at you. Now, the Maquis were threatening to remove certain parts of my
body that I'm pretty fond of with a dull knife and no anesthesia, but
come on-wasn't that worse?"

"Paris, you are the only person who would try to cheer me up by
pointing out I've been embarrassed worse."

"If it works," I said, putting the soapy sponge in his hands, "don't
knock it."

"Did they hurt you?" he asked, as he began to wash his chest.

"No, they made me watch." I couldn't suppress the angry tone in my
voice. "The entire time you were out there, I was watching from the
balcony. Couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything, but I watched."
I found myself gritting my teeth in anger. The need to choke the
living shit out of something, preferably of the female gender, rose up
in me. Then I saw Chakotay drop his head again.

Considering what he was going through, my priorities changed. I was
more flexible than he was. I could deal with more. Where I would bend
in the face of a hurricane, he would try to stay upright and get
snapped in half.

Shetar's words came back to me. 'He's your responsibility, Thomas.'
Hell, he wasn't my responsibility, I was his keeper. She was using me
to keep him from going berserk. Shetar wasn't stupid, she knew what
she was doing. Damn, damn, damn, I hated this fucking world. I looked
over at Chakotay and I realized she wasn't just using me to keep
Chakotay alive. She was using both of us to keep the other alive.

Chakotay shook his head, his jaw jutting out. "I tried, Tom."

My heart twisted and I knew something inside me changed. Like it was
his fault he was blind or that those two made me watch him stumble
around, helpless, embarrassed. Fuck that! This wasn't his fault and I
wasn't going to let him take responsibility for it.

"It wasn't your fault. What? Have you been going behind my back,
asking them to do this to you?" I waited for a response, and when I
didn't get one. "We can't change it, so accept it and move on."

Chakotay sighed and nodded again, but he didn't pick his head up.
Okay, so much for the kind, sympathetic route. I was so glad he
couldn't see.

"However, in my presence Commander Chakotay, you sure as hell better
lift your head up high."

Brought his head up all right. I thought he was going to hit me. If
his eyes weren't covered, I knew that man would be glaring at me.

"That's better." Paris cocky tone 101, enough to get one Commander
Chakotay pissed in the span of two heat beats. And it worked, but I
couldn't alienate him completely.

"Chak, this wasn't your fault. They're playing mind games, and one of
those is to get you so embarrassed that you stop fighting. Okay?"

"Okay."

"So, move over to the edge, and I'll get your back."

I lead him over to the edge and had him lean over, and I scrubbed his
back. You know there are just certain things you don't notice on the
bridge of a Star Ship. Like Chakotay would groan like a happy puppy
getting a belly rub when you scrubbed his back really hard. Of course,
I would never share that with the Commander.

"You know something, Tom?"

"What's that?" He reached out and turned me around and took the
sponge from my hands. "Turn about is fair play."

You know, I make sounds like a really happy puppy dog when he used
those thick fingers and rubbed the tension from my back. I started
laughing.

"Only you, Paris." He threw the sponge down under me and splashed me
in the face.

"Hey!" Without thinking I turned and threw the sponge. Hit him square
in the chest. Left this big old white soapy spot against all that
bronzed skin.

"People have died for less," he growled. Then he smiled and I thought
my heart would stop. Damn those dimples. I swear they were some sort
of secret weapon. But, he was feeling better. Mission accomplished.

Chakotay dipped under the water and when he came up. It just hit me.
Water nymph came to mind. Shit, the man was so handsome. Get yourself
under control, Paris. The man had just been humiliated, but all that
water sheeting off his body. Oh yeah, it was hot. He ran his hands
through his hair and over his shoulders and chest. Good thing he
couldn't see my reaction to that.

"Are we done?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah," I said, putting the sponge down with a shaky hand, and
wondering why my mouth had suddenly gotten so dry.

We got out and I took him to one of the seats, where we dried
ourselves and I applied the ointment to his back and his knees. He'd
torn them up out there. He dried his hair, and I noticed it was
getting longer. So was mine for that matter.

"By the way, Commander," I said, with as much smart alec as I could.
"Your hair is no longer reg."

His hand went to the back of it. "I'll deal with it as soon as I can
find a barber, sir."

"See that you do." I touched his arm and he stood up, then his hand
touched the back of my neck, and his fingers touched my hair as
well.

"Seems the pot is calling the kettle black."

"Rank has its privileges." However, I couldn't suppress the shudder
as his fingers touched the sensitive areas on my neck. His face went
slightly blank, but then it passed. I took his arm, and we reentered
the insanity that was this world.

I got him back up to Shetar's quarters. She wasn't there, luckily. I
got us both settled over in the alcove, and we relaxed, if you could
call it that. We were both leaning against the wall, when I saw Chak
look around.

"What?"

"I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

"Sit tight." I went and got us both a few pieces of fruit. I put one
in his hand. "You're favorite the bright blue ones."

He took a bite, the juice ran down his arm and his chin.

"Geez, just get you all cleaned up and you make another mess. You are
worse than a kid, Chakotay."

"Don't push me too far, Tom. It's hard enough being blind."

I looked at him and realized he must be exhausted. His head was back
against the wall. He finished the piece of fruit. I got a bowl and he
rinsed his hands and forearms. That was when I saw the bruises and
abrasions where he had fought with the manacles. I sighed.

"Why didn't you say something. These can get infected. I would have
put..." I thought of something and reached for the collar. Then I
stopped when his head snapped around. I decided warning him before
grabbing him by the throat would be a good idea. "Easy Chakotay, let
me look at this." He had bruised his throat horribly. I mean black and
blue bruises and red lines from the edge of the collar. "Shit," I
whispered as I ran my fingers over his adam's apple and the
tendons.

"Tom, stop," he said hoarsely.

"Does this hurt?" I asked.

"No, in fact it feels pretty good. Too good."

I looked down to see he was getting excited. The next thing I knew
was I was rubbing a thumb over his jaw.

"You want me to stop?"

Maybe this was where he and I differed so much. He believed
everything had a purpose. I didn't mind just taking life on the wing.
If it felt good and wasn't going to get me in too much trouble; I
would consider it. He thought things out. He turned his head towards
me.

"Do you know what they did to me out there?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

He turned his head away. It was amazing to see his stoic face show so
much expression, but I had heard that about people that had
blindfolded. They didn't tend to watch their expressions as
carefully.

My throat tightened as I saw the pain. I wanted to make him feel
better. A pep talk did not seem to fit the situation. So, I turned his
face back to me.

"Don't let them win, Chakotay."

I stroked his jaw again. My fingers slowed down on the sticky juice
on his chin. I leaned in and kissed the area, licking the juice
off.

"Tom, what are you doing?"

Then I drew on his lower lip, sucking the juice off. He groaned.

"Do I really have to tell you?"

For several moments, he let me do what I wanted, and I set about
cleaning all the fruit juice off his face. Then his hands, those big
hands came up and stroked my face.

"Why?" He asked quietly.

"Because I want to. Doesn't it feel good to feel something nice?
Chakotay, I want to share something with you. Maybe heal our hearts
just a little if I can. If you don't want to. Say so. I'll stop."

"What about when we get back to Voyager? What about B'Elanna?" That
was enough to get me to take my hands off of him. In fact, that was a
pretty low blow.

"That's a big 'if' at this point in time, Chakotay," I said angrily.
"We're looking at almost a month since she left us here. How long does
it take to overthrow a crazy captain?" His reaction was instantaneous
and almost violent.

"Don't say that! My crew will not leave me here!" I saw the panic and
his hands closed on my arms to the point of bruising.

"Okay, you're right, they won't. Your crew will do everything within
their power to get you back," I said gently.

And strangely enough, I felt that old familiar pain. Yeah, they'd
come to get Chakotay, but what about me. I wasn't even in this
conversation.

He pushed me away. I moved to the other side of the alcove. We sat
there quietly for a minute. I felt more alone at that moment than I
had through this entire ordeal. I couldn't help it. One minute, I was
offering him me, and the next, he was shoving me away, telling me
his crew would come for him. Hell, Paris, do you really matter to
anyone?

And that was how Shetar found us. We both cringed as the door
opened.

"Get out here, both of you."

I touched Chakotay's arm and helped him stand up. I could feel the
tension. I could feel his fear, his anger. He was going through what I
went through the first two weeks. Up until today, he could fight, now
he knew he was vulnerable. Try prison Chakotay, I thought to myself.
You learn that lesson the first day. I moved the white silk out of the
way and we walked out.

Almost in tandem we knelt and Shetar gloated. She walked around us as
if we were two dogs she was considering buying. I knew she was moving
as quietly as possible. I knew she was trying to get to him. She
reached out and touched Chakotay's shoulders and he jumped.

"Take him to the couch, Thomas and bind him to it."

My stomach fell. I know I went pale. She wanted me to betray him that
way? Chakotay actually jerked when she said that. His head came up and
his breathing got ragged. Both of our hands were in fists. I stumbled
for some sort of stall, something to stop this nightmare. The moment
of silence drew out longer.

Then Chakotay spoke, "Tactical retreat, Lieutenant."

It was an order. There was nothing in those words that meant
anything, but I know he was ordering me to do it. I took a deep breath
and touched his arm. He stood up and followed me. I stood him at the
base of it.

"Sit down, Chakotay," I said gently. I kept my hands on him until he
was sitting. I knelt down and reached for the ankle chains, and I felt
his hand on my shoulder. He gave it a small squeeze. She was going to
rape him, and I was helping her. "I'm sorry."

His hand lifted my face, and I saw a small smile. "Not you,
Lieutenant." The same words I had said to him when Shetar forced us to
have sex in the dining hall. I nodded, and with his hand still on my
face, he felt it.

I closed the anklet and then the other. I was so glad he couldn't see
the tears in my eyes. I moved to the top of the couch and had him lean
back. He extended his hands to me and I bound the manacles together.
It was so powerful to do that, but what was more powerful was the way
he was letting me do it.

I squeezed his hand, and he returned the gesture. I wanted him to
have something to hang onto during this. He then moved his bound hands
over his head. I knew how shattering it was. I attached the chain to
the top of the couch and adjusted them to where he couldn't get much
momentum going. It was better to be held tightly through Shetar's
little games. To pull and jerk just caused more damage.

I looked down at the Commander, spread out for a woman's pleasure
against his will. I wanted to die. I stepped in between he and Shetar
and leaned over under the pretense of moving him, but instead I kissed
him gently. He returned the gesture.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away," he said gently.

"It's okay, I understand."

And that was it. Like I said, something in my heart changed. It was
sorta like on Ocampa, when I was holding his arm, trying to pull him
up. For a long time, I asked myself why I did that, but I knew the
answer. Despite what anyone on Voyager would have told you. I am not
some heartless bastard that only looks out for number one. Sure, there
are times I am a sorry SOB, but I do care about people.

And despite all the women and men I had been with, despite the
protective armor I had built around my heart, and despite our present
situation, I was beginning to seriously care about Chakotay. And as
far as I was concerned, I had twenty-nine days to show him.

Then she started. I retreated to the alcove and tried not to listen
to the sounds I heard. The way she talked to him, like he was some
piece of meat, like he was some stud for hire. She said the same
things to me, but they were worse for Chakotay, more base. I tried not
to hear him pull and twist against the chains, crying out at the
torment she was putting him through, just like I had. I tried not to
hear him beg, just like I had. I tried not to hear him scream when his
anger overwhelmed him and he couldn't control his thoughts anymore. It
was worse to have to watch it then go through. I curled up in a little
ball, trying to block it out.

"You're going to kill him," I found myself whispering. "Stop, please
stop."

Then it was quiet. I looked around. Shetar had left. I moved out of
the alcove. I quickly ran to him.

"Chak? Chak, can you hear me?" I touched his neck, his pulse was
strong. He wasn't being punished, he was unconscious. "Chakotay!" I
gently slapped his cheek. Nothing.

I went and got the basin and washed him down. I was starting to
release him from the chains, but I heard a voice ask.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Reigh! "I was releasing him, Lady. I assumed you were done with
him."

"Shetar perhaps, but not me." She came into the room as the sun began
to sink. "Kneel there." She indicated a place not far from the
couch.

What was going on? What was Reigh doing here? I knew she was second
in command, but why were they doing this? What did they want from
him?

I knelt and this time I was forced to watch as Reigh also used him.
This was obscene. Somehow these women had convinced themselves that we
actually were just animals for their convenience. Every fiber of my
being screamed.

Chakotay woke up moments after Reigh started. I wished there were
something I could say to ease the mortification I saw, as he realized
what was going on. This was debasing. It wasn't even him, Chakotay,
the man, that they wanted. They didn't care about him, one way or
another. All he was to them was an animal to be broken to their wills
and that's what they had set out to do. I watched Chakotay bite his
lip, and start to breath hard. I knew what he was going through. To
have your private life ripped out into broad daylight, to be used this
way would destroy you. It had hurt me badly, but Chakotay...Spirits,
if you really exist, help him.

"You are a big man, Slave. Your cock is perhaps the most pleasing
aspect of your body," she said cruelly, raking her nails down his
chest. Then she slapped him. "Answer me, slave."

"Yes, Lady," he grit out.

Damn you, Reigh. I focused my attention on the floor, anything but
having to watch them. I heard Chakotay scream, and watched his body
arch off the couch in the throes of an uncontrollable orgasm. I tried
not to let my hoarse breathing be too loud. Finally, she finished with
him and climbed off.

"Now you can release him."

I moved forward quickly, and began to release him from the couch.
Reigh paused by the door, I was releasing Chakotay's manacles.

"By the way, it was decided that since we'll kill all the male
children, both Shetar and I would carry a child."

Oh my god, I thought, they were. They were really doing this for the
sole purpose of.... Then Chakotay got my attention. His breathing got
hoarse, his hands became fists and he went as pale as a ghost. I
thought he was going to die. I really thought he was going to have
cardiac on the spot.

"You are a breeding horse, Chakotay. You will be bred over and over
and over. Your male children will be murdered, and your daughters will
rule this city. They will treat men like you, just like I treated
you."

"NO!"

I closed my eyes, as Chakotay jerked in the grip of a full
punishment. I kept him from falling off the couch, but that was all I
could do. I should have let him walk past the columns.

When the punishment finally ended, I breathed a sigh of relief. I
checked his pulse again. It was good. His breathing was good. I
quickly finished releasing him from the chains. I knew I couldn't move
him, but he wasn't going to wake up bound to this thing, smelling like
sex.

As I moved around the room, gathering what I needed, I went complete
emergency situation. My heart was racing, adrenalin pumping, but I had
a clear head. I quickly cleaned him up. He had managed to tear his
wrists and ankles up. From personal experience he had pulled several
muscles from fighting the chains. I considered going and getting the
ointment, but decided against it. I didn't want him waking up here of
all places blind. I found myself stroking his face, willing him to
wake up.

I was worried. The device had gone off, three, no four times, and
that last one had been a doozy. What damage had it caused? What was
worse was the damage their words had done. I'd been called a failure,
a drunk, a lot of things in my life, and I knew how to shrug it off.
Chakotay didn't. It was going to tear him wide open. The thing about
the kids. I could only hope we were rescued before we found out or it
hadn't taken, because I knew Chakotay well enough that he took kids
seriously. Very seriously. The thing with Seska almost killed him. I
remembered the way he winced when he saw her and the look on his face
when Reigh had said that. He could probably deal with everything, but
that.

I wiped his face off, and found blood at his lips. Damn it, Chakotay,
you nearly bit through your own lip. Slowly, he began to come back. I
put my hand on his shoulder. Hopefully, that would be enough to
identify me.

"Chakotay, can you hear me?"

"Yeah," he said in a slurred tone. That scared me to death. His head
sluggishly moved from side to side. He groaned and lifted a hand to
his head.

"How do you feel?" I asked as I helped him sit up.

"Like I have a pick through my skull." He cradled his head in his
hands. I saw him wince as he moved.

"Come on." I helped him stand up and led him to the alcove. "Lay down
and I'll work those muscles out for you."

"How'd you know?" He sounded like he had been drinking. My concern
level went to yellow alert.

"Been there, done that."

I began to work the kinks out of his shoulders. When I suggested I go
get some of the ointment, his head came up.

"No."

"Are you sure? You really tore your wr..."

"I said no."

I sighed, but understood. Chakotay didn't want to be left alone in
this room. I finished with his shoulders, and started on the ones in
his lower back. Despite the situation, I couldn't help but notice the
muscular body, but it did nothing for me here and now.

"Tom, did they really say that?"

I paused. There was no way to ease the blow. "About the kids?
Yes."

I heard him inhale raggedly. He was laying on his stomach, as I
worked the muscles in his back. I saw his hands in fists as he hit the
mat.

"Damn Kathryn Janeway's Spirit to a never ending Hell."

"Chak, what about the contraceptive shots? Those are good for six
months."

"I stopped taking them after New Earth. I didn't want to waste the
energy for something I had no use for. I thought I would know if I was
going to get into a relationship that involved sex."

Shit.

---

For two days, Chakotay lived what I had been going through since we
got there. The continual rapes, the being paraded around like a sex
toy, and the comments about his physical size, was he any good. I
tuned it out. Chakotay couldn't and it was killing him.

From the day they abandoned him in the market, they hadn't touched
me. I was Chakotay's keeper, and it was a bitter pill. I never tried
to touch him again. I just tried to help where I could. He pulled
farther and farther into himself.

---

Late one night, I woke up to him sitting up.

"Chakotay?"

He just turned his head towards me.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking," he said vaguely. His speech was still slurred. "They're
killing me, Tom. Bit by bit, piece by piece, they're killing me."

I sat up quietly. There was nothing I could say.

"I had another stroke, didn't I? That's why I can't talk right."

I sighed. "Yes."

"I thought so. Tom, I may not make the thirty days."

"Fine. You want to go play in the happy hunting ground for eternity,
go for it."

I couldn't fight it anymore. I wouldn't hold him to his promise. I'd
tried everything I could think of, even calling in the life debt, but
I couldn't ask him to keep doing this. I couldn't watch what they were
doing to him, and I could only guess what it was going to him.

"Why do you want to stay alive, Tom? Is there something here you
enjoy?" His voice was dead, devoid of all emotion. It chilled me.

"No," I said just as lifelessly. I got up quietly and went to the
table where the bowl of fruit was. There was the knife. I picked up
the cold piece of metal. "Let's go to the baths, it'll be quicker, and
less painful there."

I couldn't believe I was contemplating murder. I couldn't believe I
was actually convinced it was the right thing, but after the last two
days, I couldn't bear to watch another day. I'd take him to the baths,
get him relaxed and then slit his throat. He'd bleed out quicker in
the warm water.

What other choice did I have? Sooner or later, Chakotay would have a
stroke bad enough to incapacitate him, and I wasn't sure if Reigh and
Shetar wouldn't just keep going. No one deserved that. I knelt down to
help him to his feet.

When I touched him, he went stiff, and cocked his head to the side.
"What was that?"

"What?"

"I heard something."

I glanced over at Shetar, she was sound asleep. Then I heard a
distinctive tone.

"Where is it?" I cried. I dropped the knife. All thoughts of the
previous moments forgotten. We started rummaging around. We both
searched around quietly. Then my hands closed on the most glorious
piece of equipment I had ever seen. A comm badge. "I got it."

"Double click it. If it's B'El she'll know to sit tight." Chakotay
said quietly. He sat stock still after I did it and listened for a
moment. "Balcony."

We both moved silently to the balcony and pulled the doors shut.

"You answer it. If it's Janeway, chuck that thing as far you can."

With a mixed feeling of dread and anticipation, I pressed the button.
"Paris."

"Tom?" B'El's voice never sounded so sweet. "Is Chakotay with
you?"

"Right here, B'Elanna. What's the status?" He asked calmly. I looked
up surprised. Commander Chakotay was back.

"We have a lock on your position, stand by to be transported."

"B'el no. We have implants. You removed us from this city and we are
dead. Dead the Doc can't fix."

"Stand by."

We stood out on the balcony, shivering in the pre-morning chill. I
bet we looked like a couple of idiots. Two naked men, leaning close
together in the moonlight. I almost started laughing. Chakotay's hand
closed on my arm. I leaned over and hugged him, pressing my lips to
his forehead.

"We're going to make it."

"We aren't out yet, Lieutenant."

That was like a bucket of cold water. "Right, Commander," I said very
snidely.

"That isn't what I meant."

But further conversations were cut off by Seven.

"We are detecting two implants a piece, Commander."

I saw Chakotay recoil from her voice. I grabbed his arm to keep him
from backing over the railing. Just what we needed, him killing
himself seconds before rescue.

"That's right, Seven," I answered.

"There is no danger in beaming you up. There is a circular field
around the city that would trigger the devices, beaming you up will
cause you no harm."

"B'Elanna, verify those readings," Chakotay ordered.

"Verified. Beaming you up won't trigger the devices."

"Then get us the hell outta here," Chakotay said. "Transport us both
to sickbay."

"Transporting."

I was never so glad to feel a transporter beam in my life. The moment
of nothingness passed and the next thing I knew I was facing the
EMH.

"Please state the nature of your..." His eyes dipped and then came
back up. "Perhaps clothing would be in order."

"That would be good, Doc. Real good." I smiled feeling alive for the
first time in a long, long time. I felt Chakotay squeeze my arm, and I
covered his hand.

"You were right, Commander. They came back for you." For a moment, I
saw something I thought I would never see. A tear slid down Chakotay's
cheek, and I felt a part of my own heart die.

The Doc worked on Chakotay first. I had been right, he'd had a
stroke. In fact, he'd had three. Two were much more recent and I think
they were from his two days of having Shetar and Reigh going after
him. The Doc said he could repair all the damage.

B'El came down and took me off my feet, with a Klingon bear hug. The
Doc told her to stop before she broke my ribs. Harry just shook my
hand for about 25 minutes.

When I asked about her, they told me Janeway was in the brig. I
wanted to know more, but the Doctor told B'Elanna that she could make
herself useful and remove the implants from me while he worked on
Chakotay.

I had to admit, it was difficult being put in a stasis field, flat on
my back, but I had to be motionless. But, as I watched B'El and Harry
working side by side, and then with the skill of surgeons remove the
both of the devices from me, I was grateful. The Doc quickly
regenerated the areas and I was released.

I watched as they did the same thing to the Commander. I helped with
that regeneration. I think the Doc saw me touch Chakotay's face, and I
know he heard me whisper,

"You made it, Big man."

Then it got quiet, and the Doc said we needed to rest. He wanted me
to stay for observation, so I got on the bio-bed next to Chakotay's
and went to sleep.

---

I woke up to chocolate eyes staring down at me.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey to you too, Tom." He stressed that word, and it felt good.

"How're you feeling?" I asked, as I started to sit up.

He nodded his head, and said, "Decent. Tom, I have to go back down
there."

"What?!" I was sitting up straight now.

"I have to know if they are carrying my children. I will not leave
any of myself on that planet."

I shook my head trying to clear the sleep induced cobwebs. This was
just like him. Everything that had happened was forgotten. We were
back on Voyager, life as usual, business at hand, fuck anything else.
I stared at him for a minute, and then asked,

"And what if they are?"

"I don't know."

"Are you nuts. You just want to go running off on this wild goose
chase? You need to think about this." I got off the bio-bed and went
to the replicator. I got us both a cup of tea. I couldn't think about
drinking coffee at this particular moment. I took a sip and took a
moment to calm down

"First of all, it was only three days. The chances that they're
pregnant is slim."

"What about Shetar? She and I had a lot more...contact." He was
standing stiffly, just holding the tea. "The only thing we can do is
go down there and scan them.

I shook my head in disbelief. He had decided on a course of action
and it was all ahead. "Hell, Chakotay why don't we just kidnap them
and bring them up here and do the same thing."

"I don't want them to see the technology up here."

"Okay, you've obviously been thinking about this. What's your
plan."

"Maquis type mission. Go in tonight, scan them both and then get the
fuck out."

"Which rooms are Reigh's?"

"I was hoping you knew."

I shook my head. "That messes that plan up. Next option? Go in
phasers blasting until we get to them?"

Chakotay smiled a dangerous smile. "Don't tempt me, Tom."

I gave him a droll look. "Okay, how about we beam into the main hall
at dinner. They won't be expecting it. A few phaser blasts at the
ceiling should make them think twice about moving. Then we can scan
them."

He was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded. "Sounds good."

I was stunned, I really thought we'd talk a little more about the
"plan". "Then what?" I asked. "What do we do then? Force them to
abort? I thought life was precious to you. Kidnap them until they
deliver? Stay in orbit for 9 months? What?"

"I'll decide that after we find out whether or not they're pregnant.
That's the first order of business."

I could see it in his face. There was no stopping him, I gave in.
"Okay. I'll be ready."

"You?"

"Yeah, me. I was part of this too, remember? I'd kinda like to face
them again without a freaking control device in my head. I'll run the
tricorder. You do the big, bad maquis thing. Show 'em what you really
got."

His face got tight for a minute. "We need to talk."

"Whenever you're ready, Big Man."

---

We stood on the transporter pad. I was nervous. They knew we were
gone. They had hailed us numerous times, well really they commed
Janeway. We had maintained our silence.

B'El, Harry, Greg, Chakotay and I had a meeting. They offered the
ship to Chak, but he turned it down until this was finished. They
asked if we wanted to deal with Janeway, and we both shook our
heads.

"What happened up here?" Chakotay asked.

"Perhaps I can explain," Tuvok said, coming into the conference room
with Seven behind him. Chakotay came to his feet, and I was right
behind him. I put one hand on his arm, whether to follow him into a
fight or stop him, I wasn't sure.

"Chakotay, they didn't agree with the Captain either. They helped,"
Greg said, slowly standing up. It looked like Greg might try to
intervene, but he moved very slowly and carefully. Chakotay glared at
all of them.

"Okay, I'll listen." Chakotay slowly sat back down. "In fact, tell me
everything."

"The Captain had obviously been working on this for a while. She
locked us out of the bridge, and took us out of orbit as soon as she
came back," B'Elanna started the story.

"It appears that the Captain spent her time on Voyager preparing for
the break out of orbit. She had most of the systems routed to her
voice control," Tuvok continued, standing on the other side of the
table.

I saw a shadow pass over Chakotay's face, I couldn't read it. "Sit
down, Tuvok."

"Thank you, Captain." Both of our heads came up at that comment. "All
the Maquis were locked into their quarters as soon as they stepped
into them, all computer access was denied, and the Captain took us to
Warp 9 immediately."

"It took us a while to get some sort of system set up for
communication," Greg said. "Tapping on the walls just didn't work real
well."

"It was five days before the Captain let anyone on the bridge," Seven
said. "We had already figured out what had happened, to a degree."

"She had security measures in place. Ensign Kim was the first to trip
one of her alarms."

"I tried to see if you were in your cabin," Harry said, looking at
me. "She locked me in my quarters, too. But we didn't know you two
weren't in your quarters. She had brought your comm badges back and
put them in your quarters, so according to the quick peek I got, you
were on board."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Harry."

"Anyway, I began to decompile her programs through some alternative
security programs I had written," Tuvok said. "It took time. However,
with Seven's help, and several other members of the free crew we
thought we could trust, we overrode her programs, released the Maquis
and took over the ship. It was then that we discovered that you and
Mr. Paris were not on board."

"Overrode most of the programs," B'Elanna said. "She wrote a fail
safe. When we tried to come out of warp, it started an overload in the
warp core. I had to jettison the core at warp."

"That's dangerous," I said.

"That nearly destroyed the ship," B'El said sadly. "It took us nearly
three weeks to repair everything, and retrieve the warp core and get
back on line."

"The rest is history. We got back as quick as we could," Harry said,
quietly. "Tracked you down and sent the comm badge."

"How did you find us? They're humanoid."

"Tom's fillings."

"Excuse me?" Chakotay said.

"Tom has fillings in his teeth," B'Elanna smiled.

"You tracked us down on that entire planet by using less than a gram
of metal?"

"Took a while, but we had to get you two back." Harry was staring at
his hands. I covered them and squeezed.

"Yeah, we weren't leaving without you two," B'El said in a tight
voice.

"We were prepared to go down, if it came to that Chakotay," Greg said
quietly.

When I heard that, no matter what Harry said, I felt very alone
again. Would they have come back for just me? I sighed.

"I believe I can speak for Tom, and say we are extremely grateful you
came back."

"So what are we going to do?"

---

And that was why we were waiting to transport down. They were
scanning the area around the dining hall and once there was no more
movement to the hall we would beam in. The doors to the transporter
room opened and Chakotay and Greg came in.

He went straight to the sensor panel, and Harry stepped aside.

"Too much movement. I want less than 5 people in that hall."

I regripped the tricorder and ran my hand over my phaser. For some
reason, even though I knew they couldn't hurt me, I was scared. I felt
a hand on my shoulder.

"Easy, Tom, they aren't getting us again." I turned and looked
Chakotay in the eye.

"Right," I said, and drew a deep breath. He nodded slightly and then
walked over to B'Elanna.

I looked at him and smiled to myself. He had worn black. He looked
good in black. He glanced back and for a moment our eyes met.
Something passed between us. Then he winked at me. He was a handsome
man. Then I saw B'Elanna looking at me, too. I lowered my eyes, and
felt very, very guilty.

The team consisted of me, Chakotay, B'Elanna, Tuvok, Greg and Gerron.
They would cover the four sides of the room, and Chakotay and I would
check out Reigh and Shetar.

"Get ready," Harry said.

"Check your phasers people. High stun. Anyone moves. Take 'em down."
Chakotay ordered. Everyone rechecked their weapons. "Tom, you
ready?"

"Ready," I replied. It was then that he handed me a hypo.

"What's this?" I asked taking it, but he didn't let go. I looked up
and I knew. It was an abortion agent. If they were pregnant, he wanted
me to do this.

"You were right, there's more at stake here then my personal
beliefs."

I was sorry to hear that, but I thought it was the best decision he
could have made. I nodded.

"Get ready to transport." The nothingness of being transported took
over. Then we were standing in the middle of the dining hall.

I knew we were supposed to transport in near Shetar's table. I knew
we were going to be close to where Chakotay and I usually knelt. What
I wasn't expecting was to appear almost exactly where we knelt. To
suddenly look around and see that, to be assaulted by the noises, to
see both of them sitting there, definitely rocked my confidence.

"Everyone Freeze!" Chakotay ordered.

Three people stood up. They hit the floor unconscious. Shetar and
Reigh were both standing, but considering they were staring down the
business end of a Chakotay's phaser, or maybe it was the look on
Chakotay's face, they decided to sit back down, very slowly.

"Tom."

I shook myself and stepped up to them. I saw Reigh finger the control
she had used on us so often. As I got closer, she pointed it at me,
and I took great joy in kicking her arm much harder than necessary and
watching the hated device arc through the air. Then I pointed the
tricorder at her and laughed when she flinched.

"Worried, Reigh?" I asked, as I made some adjustments. "Worried we
might do to you what you did to us."

"I'm not afraid of you." Although her tone was still imperious, you
could see she was frightened. So frightened her hands were shaking as
she supported the wrist I had kicked. Nonetheless, I wanted to slap
that look off her face. That look of 'I'm better than you.' or maybe
it was just the look of 'you male slime.' Now I knew how Chakotay felt
when I got all snide with Commander. I didn't like it.

Chakotay strode forward. He grabbed her by her arms and lifted her
clear of the floor.

"You should be afraid," Chakotay hissed in her face. "Very fucking
afraid."

"Chak, you're messing with the readings." He pushed her roughly back
into the chair. I started over. In a moment, I looked up, relief
flooding through me.

"She's not, Chakotay."

We exchanged a look that was almost happy, Chakotay, at least, seemed
very relieved. Then anger and outrage and hurt and a burning filled
his eyes, like I had never seen before. I stepped back as he reached
out and grabbed Reigh by her hair and lifted her face to his.

"Meet me face to face, you heartless bitch. No control devices, no
leashes, no collars."

I enjoyed the stark terror in Reigh's face as Chakotay shifted his
grip and lifted her off the ground and then threw her onto the table.
Women screamed and fled from the table. Shetar being one of them. I
grabbed her arm and threw her back into her chair.

"Not leaving so soon, are you, Shetar?" I asked acidly. "B'El if she
moves, shoot her."

"Gladly."

As I saw Chakotay drag Reigh off the table, I assumed he had her
contained, and I focused on the female in front of me. Shetar sat
regally while I took my readings. I sighed heavily.

"Chakotay."

He came to my side. I took the hypo out and looked at him.

"Are you sure?"

His eyes were full of pain. He leaned on a chair like he had just
taken a stomach blow. "Spirits forgive me. Yes, Tom I'm sure."

I gave her the shot.

"What have you done? Was it poison?" she asked shaking.

"It should have been," B'Elanna said. Another phaser fired, but I
stayed focused.

"Are we done?" Chakotay asked.

"Let's make sure."

I continued to scan her until the readout told me Shetar was
miscarrying the child. I looked at Chakotay and softly said, "It's
taken care of."

"Am I going to die?" Shetar's voice had a panicked tone.

"No, my child will," he growled low and deep in her face.

Then I watched something I hoped I never see again. Chakotay lifted
her clear of the chair by her arms and slapped her to the floor. But
it was the animalistic rage and pain that scared me to death. He
turned back towards me and I almost flinched at his glare alone.

Then he hit his comm badge.

"Target and fire."

"Targeting, Captain," Harry said. Then there was an explosion. Women
screamed and the lights faded. Another explosion, and another.

"Captain, we have destroyed their power plant, their communications
system, and main storage area. You need to clear that building."

"Aye, Mr. Kim." Chakotay turned to Shetar who still lay on the floor,
blood at her lip. "Hopefully, Shetar you will come to understand that
men are more than just work animals for your amusement as you rebuild
your city. I would suggest that you and your friends leave this
building." He hit his comm badge. "Mr. Kim make sure the lower areas
of this building are empty before you fire."

"Aye, Captain."

He turned to Reigh. "If you don't clear those pits, I will do it
myself personally, and leave you tied up here while we bring the
building down around your ears."

"You are an animal!" Reigh hissed. I touched Chak's arm. I was really
afraid he was going to kill her.

"We're animals? You treated him like a piece of meat. Listen to me
all of you. Men are not below you, to be owned. Each gender has its
good points and its bad points. Learn to get along with men, instead
of just controlling them. You may find this world a pleasant place to
live in, once you rebuild it. Now if you will kindly exit the
building, we will finish what we started and leave you alone."

When Harry said it was clear, we walked outside. Chakotay paused and
looked at the gathering of men and women. The air was filled with
smoke. Women huddled in groups here and there. Men looked around lost,
wondering what to do.

"Chak, we need to gather up the control devices."

He nodded and soon there was a pile of them. We found out it was
basically only the richer women that had them.

"Tuvok, will we hurt anyone if we disintegrate these?" I asked

He snapped his tricorder shut. "Using the highest setting should not
cause anyone harm."

The pile glowed a bright white and then disappeared. Men looked
surprised, women cried out in fear.

Then we walked out into the market area and Chakotay turned his
phaser up and blew up the first column. I followed suit. The others
spread out and blew up the rest of them. The men stared around
blankly.

"Why have you done this?" a man asked.

"You are not an animal or just a pit slave to be bred. You are equal
with them, to come and go, make a life. Now you are free."

The big man laughed. "You always were a strange one."

I looked at Chakotay, he was watching the men move past the columns.
The big one moved towards the women, and they cringed in fear. It
wasn't perfect, but he had given the men a chance. He tapped his comm
badge.

"Fire."

We watched the main governmental complex disintegrate under Voyager's
phasers.

"Let's go!"

Moments later, I watched him stride from the transporter room, and I
felt my heart die a small death for the proud man. The other Maquis
looked among themselves. B'El put her hand on my shoulder.

"You did the right thing, Tom."

"I know."

I handed Greg my phaser, and left the transporter room. I went to
sickbay and put the equipment up.

Then I went to my quarters. I sat down on the couch and tried not to
think. I finally put on my jeans, turned up some music and curled up
in a small ball in the corner of the couch. I can't explain how I
felt, if I felt anything. There was just this horrible cold emptiness
inside me.

---

They had cleaned her shit, out of the Captain's quarters and the
ready room, but I stood in my quarters and looked out the viewport. We
were already out of orbit, heading for the Alpha, but I didn't really
care. I didn't really care about anything.

My door chimes rang.

"Come."

B'Elanna walked in. She stopped inside the door.

"Captain..."

"Chakotay, B'El. I don't want to hear that for a while."

She nodded quickly, and took a step into the room. "Is there anything
I can do?"

Most people thought B'Elanna was a hard ass. A half-breed klingon
trying to prove herself. I knew B'Elanna had a very human side and
cared deeply for anyone she let in. I turned to her.

"No. This is something I have to work out."

"Okay. If you need anything, let me know."

"I will." She turned to leave. "How's Tom?"

"I was going to see him next."

"Warn me if he starts drinking."

"I will, Chakotay."

---

B'El came to see me. She sat down next to me and held my hand. We
just looked at each other for a few minutes. I didn't think I could
hurt any worse than what I had been feeling, but I was so wrong.

"Who?"

"Harry," she said quietly. "Tom, we never..."

I put my fingers over her lips. Then I leaned over and kissed her.

"Be happy, B'El."

"Tom, please. I never meant..."

I did it again, half expecting her to bite me, but she didn't.

"I understand. Like I said, be happy, both of you."

She sat there for a minute and then stood up and left my quarters.
That was when I replicated the bottle of whiskey. As I cracked the
seal, I saluted myself for being one hell of a computer hacker.

I sat down at the table and started to drink like I hadn't drank
since the Maquis. When I was about half-way through the bottle, I
wondered if I should invite someone to join me. Drinking by yourself
was a bad sign. Then I decided not to. I hated to get sloppy drunk
around other people.

---

The next morning, I called a senior staff meeting, and everyone was
there but Tom. Irritated, I commed him and got no answer. I called for
a location check. He was in his quarters. I commed him again but there
was still no answer. I looked around the table and then left.

I worked up a full head of steam on my way to his quarters. I was
running this ship now, and I was not going to let Tom Paris "float by
on the Paris smile." Or whatever it was he had said. I was so angry
that he had tried this. I stopped outside his door. He never opened
it.

"Computer override," I ordered.

The door slid open and that was when I lost it. Tom was passed out
drunk in the middle of his quarters. I sniffed the bottle. How had he
gotten his hands on this. Every bit of rage and anger came bubbling to
the surface and I took it out on Tom Paris.

How dare he do this to me? I was going to make him my first officer.
I was going to treat him with dignity and respect and he pulls this
crap. Did he think going through that bought him so special
privileges? He was about to learn what I was like as a Captain. I'd
needed him in the Maquis, but I had Batehart now. Tom was not in the
luxurious position he had been in then.

I picked him up by his collar and dragged him to my quarters, calling
down every curse I knew upon his head. I roughly shoved him into my
shower and turned the cold water on full blast. He came up swinging.
When he tried to climb out, I shoved him back in.

He tried to hit me, I gladly blocked and gave him a stiff shot to the
belly. I almost took joy when he threw up and then developed the dry
heaves. I was standing there gloating as Tom retched in my shower.

"Chakotay!" B'Elanna screamed. "No, you don't know what happened."

She pushed past me, turned the water off and held Tom's head.

"He was passed out drunk. You know how I feel about that," I
snarled.

"He had every right to get drunk last night, Captain," Harry said
from behind me.

"I managed to stay sober," I growled

"Harry, help me." B'Elanna cried. I was surprised when Harry pushed
past me and pulled a towel out and helped B'El get Tom to standing.
"Give me your robe, Chakotay."

I stood there staring at her like she was insane, until she snarled
at me. I reached behind the door and handed it to her. When she and
Harry had him sitting on the toilet, she shooed us both out, and began
to undress Tom.

"What do you two think you are doing?"

That was when Harry hit me. To say I was shocked was an
understatement. The Harry Kim I knew didn't have the guts to raise his
voice to me, let alone hit me. I stumbled back a few steps, awed.

"Do you know what happened to him last night?"

I shook my head. We both looked back as B'Elanna supported Tom out of
the bathroom. Harry immediately went to his other side and helped
B'Elanna support him to the couch. They laid him down.

"Take care of him, Harry," B'Elanna said stroking the side of his
face. She stood up and turned on me in full Klingon. That was enough
to get me to pay attention. Then her eyes filled with tears.

"I went to talk to him, like I said. And when I sat down next to him.
He knew Chakotay. It didn't take him 2 minutes to know."

"Know what?"

"That..." She pulled herself together. "That Harry and I are seeing
each other. And, despite everything that you two went through, he told
me to be happy. He didn't get angry, he didn't call me any names. He
just kissed me and told me to be happy."

"We should have checked on him last night," Harry murmured.

I felt my stomach hit the floor. "You broke up with him, last
night?"

"No, Harry and I had talked about it, and I wasn't going to tell him.
I wasn't going to lie or anything like that. But I wasn't going to go
to bed with him, but I'd be there. Then when everything was
straightened out. I was going to tell him then, but he saw it when he
looked in my eyes."

I felt guilt and disgust at what I had done twist in my stomach. I
stared aghast at Tom, who lay unconscious on my couch. What in the
fuck had I done?

I stood there stunned for a minute. B'Elanna and Harry were seeing
each other. When B'El had gone to see Tom, he had guessed. My words to
Tom when he tried to touch me after the market. I had almost condemned
him for touching me, for not being faithful to her and all that time,
she had been with Harry. Then to be slapped in the face with it the
first night back.

I felt my throat tighten, because I hadn't really been concerned
about Tom and B'El when I had said that. I'd felt dirty and ashamed
with how I had clung to Tom in the market. I was mad at myself that
after going through that type of degradation I could react to him so
quickly. I was dying inside and so I was shutting the world out. It
was the only way I could think of to get him to leave me alone.

I looked at him lying there on my couch. He had big circles under his
eyes, he was pale and shaking from the cold shower I had thrown him
into. I knew his stomach had to be killing him. I numbly stared as
Harry and B'El stood over him protectively. What had I done? I had
lost my temper, blaming Tom for everything that had gone wrong. Let my
minor irritation at him boil over into this huge ball of anger and I'd
hit him. I'd hit him. Spirits, less than 24 hours and we were back to
the Commander and the Lieutenant. What kind of fool was I?

Moment upon moment played through my mind. The way he took care of
me. The way he kept me going when I wanted to quit. The way he'd
always been the first thing there when they were done with me. And I
had done this to him. I turned away. He'd offered me everything, and
what did I do? He'd given me all that he was and I...turned it into
mincemeat.

"Leave."

B'El looked at me closely.

"It's okay, B'El," I assured her, softening my tone considerably.

For a moment longer, she stared at me and then took Harry's arm and
led him out of my quarters.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Harry asked.

"I'm positive, Harry."

When the door slid shut, I went to my bathroom, my bedroom gathering
supplies. I got a tricorder, a warm blanket, I replicated a cup of
restorative tea and a pitcher of water. Then I sat down next to Tom, I
shook the blanket out and then tucked it in around him. Then I scanned
him. As I did, I realized where saying someone was green around the
gills came from: blonds. Tom literally had a greenish tinge to his
skin. Man, he had done himself up good according to the readings I was
getting. He was drunk even for Maquis standard. Hell, he was drunk for
Klingon standards. I replicated a hypo, and gave it to him. I had to
admit I was pleased when his skin turned pink again.

I sat there, and for a moment I watched him until his eyes fluttered
open.

"Hey there," I said quietly.

I saw panic flash through his eyes, and he sat up. I caught him by
the shoulders. His arms wrapped around me, and I didn't object, in
fact, I held him against me.

"Whoa, easy, Tom."

"Shit! Voyager, we're on Voyager." The panic in his voice explained
everything.

"Yeah, Tom. We're on Voyager. Can't you tell? We have clothes on," I
said with attempted levity. I sat him back up and looked at him. "I'm
sorry, Tom. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"You...you hit me. You threw me in a cold shower," he accused,
pulling back. "Why'd you do that, Commander?"

"First of all, I have no excuse. I called a meeting, you didn't show.
I thought you were sluffing. But when I found you drunk in your
quarters, I...uh, I lost my temper. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, right. Chuck me in a cold shower, beat the shit out of me, and
then say you're sorry. Get a grip, Chak." He looked around. "How'd I
get here?"

"Uh, I brought you here," I said. I didn't really want to tell him I
dragged him down the hall, but the suspicious look I got confirmed
that he knew.

He sat up in the corner of the couch. He looked at the cup sitting on
the coffee table. "That for me?"

"Yeah, it'll help restore some of the fluids you...lost."

"Can I have it?"

I handed it to him and he took a sip.

"Tom, I think we need to talk."

"Not until my head feels normal. Right now, it still feels like it's
about three sizes too big."

"Give that hypo and the tea a few minutes to kick in. You'll be
feeling better," I said with a smile.

We sat there quietly for a few minutes. "So, you know?"

"Yeah, B'Elanna and Harry told me. You will be glad to know Harry
belted me a good one, and I got the distinct impression B'Elanna
wanted to rip certain parts of my anatomy off with no anesthesia."

"Good," Tom replied somewhat snidely.

"Look Tom, I'm not good at words. Never have been, but I'll tell you
this much. Today I was wrong, and on the planet when I pushed you away
that day, I was wrong then too." I got up and started pacing.
Something inside me was screaming that if I didn't lay it all on the
line, Tom might one day be my friend, but the friendship we had
developed on the planet would be gone. "You don't know how I felt that
day. It was so humiliating, so degrading, and then you touched me
and...Spirits Tom, you were checking my neck for bruises and I started
getting excited. I...."

"You felt like you were what they said you were," he said quietly.

"No, I felt like I should have never wanted to be touched sexually
again, and here I was...getting a hard on from you stroking my
neck."

"Chak, when we were in the baths that day, and I watched you, I was
getting hard. After her and them, what do you think that made me
feel like."

A whore. Spirits, is that what I had done? "And I just about called
you one." I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, Tom."

I expected some sort of acceptance of my apology, instead, Tom came
off the couch like a shot, growling. "Pick your fucking head up,
Chakotay! I got so sick and tired of you dropping your head like a
beat down dog. You have no reason to be ashamed. Damn it, they were
twice as bad to you as they were to me, and you made it."

"I made it because of you, Paris!"

"So what?! I made it because of you. That's what they wanted! They
used us against each other. You stayed alive because of me, I stayed
alive because of you."

"No, Tom. They used you to keep me alive. They used you to control
me. I was so sick and tired of getting you hurt. It was all because of
me."

"Oh, please, as if they didn't do the same thing to me. But then
again, I'm not Chakotay. I'm not as important as you! God
reincarnate. The man who knows his crew won't leave him behind.
Fuck Tom Paris and how he feels or whether anyone will come back for
him. You are the almighty Chakotay!" He was stalking around my
quarters gesturing wildly. The boy was going to get himself seriously
hurt if he didn't back off.

"Get off my back, Tom! I don't need this shit, and I don't need it
from you. I got a room full of senior staff waiting for me all because
you had to pull a binge! How did you get real alcohol anyway."

"Well, forgive me!" Tom started to advance on me. His voice got low
and dangerous, and he started poking a finger at me. "Who do you think
you are, Chak? Get off my back! I just went through a month of
living hell, helped blow up a freaking civilization and found out my
girlfriend and my best friend were getting it on all that time. I
don't care if you have the great guru of the Maquis sitting in the
conference room."

I grabbed him by the front of my robe. "You listen to me, Tom Paris.
I know you have a right to hurt, but right now we got a crew to pull
together, Janeway to deal and what in the hell do you mean, whether
anyone would come back for you?"

I saw something break behind Tom's angry blue eyes, then the Paris
mask dropped into place. "Well, you were so sure they were coming back
for you, they wouldn't leave you. Would they have gone through all of
that for just me?"

I let go of my robe and he stumbled back. He was staring at the floor
and rewrapped the robe around his body. The look on his face was...so
damned cocky, and so damned sad. Did he really think we wou...Yes,
that's exactly what he thought. Always expendable, Tom Paris. I cussed
and walked up to him.

"Yes, I can guarantee you, we would have," I growled. "Because I
would have been up here and I can promise you I would have." I put my
han don his shoulder.

"Yeah, right. Just like you did in the Maquis, right?"

I almost hit him again, how he could piss me off so quickly was
amazing. "That was cheap."

"So's hitting someone when they're drunk."

We stood there staring at each other for a minute. We had to get past
this. Tom was hurt, I was hurt, but we had made it through that planet
together, we could get through this together.

"Tom, I would have come back for you."

He shrugged.

"I never thought of you as a whore on Nagor."

"You did other times," he accused.

"I thought you were overtly promiscuous."

"Same difference."

"Listen up, Brat! I'm not going to keep this up if you don't back
off."

His head snapped up, and then he smiled. "Okay, Commander."

"That's Captain, get it straight. Now, Commander Paris, get out of my
quarters, get dressed and meet me in the conference room in 20
minutes."

He looked at me suspiciously, a small smile paying around the corners
of his mouth. I nodded, daring him with my eyes. He relaxed, took a
deep breath and then said, "Make it thirty. I really need to brush my
teeth."

---

Twenty-eight minutes later, Tom met me outside the conference
room.

"Ready when you are, Captain."

I raised my eyebrow intentionally, but winked at him. We stepped up
to the doors and walked into the conference room together. Everyone
looked at us closely, especially B'Elanna and Harry. Tom smiled easily
for them and then sat down in his usual seat and I sat at the head of
the table.

"Okay, people. Status?"

I listened patiently to the reports. Basically, except for the wear
and tear by the warp core jettison, it appeared that Voyager was in
good shape.

"How does the crew feel about what she did?"

"Most of the crew was quite shocked by her actions. Those that
weren't already upset because she locked the Maquis up, were angered
when we found out she had left you behind," Tuvok said.

That was good. I commed the Doc, and asked him to join us. When he
got there, I asked if there was any medical reason that Janeway had
suddenly reacted the way she had to Tom and I.

"If you are asking whether she is suffering from some sort of
imbalance to explain her behavior the answer is no. She is healthy,
physically and mentally."

"So there really wasn't a reason for her to trade me and Chakotay for
supplies?" Tom asked.

"No, just jealousy."

"Seven, can you shed any light on her actions?" I asked
suspiciously.

"None. She has always been jealous of you, Captain. For as long as
I've been on board, she has railed against your opinion, you and
anything that had to do with you, including Lieutenant Paris."

"Why me?" Tom asked.

"It appears that she thought you were more interested in Chakotay's
opinion of your behaviour than hers."

Tom looked at me and shook his head confused, but it made sense to
me.

"Go on, Seven."

"When we met with Shetar alone, the Captain appeared to be her usual
self, until she saw the slave pits. At that time, she made a comment
about how you, Captain, would look and how she would like to see you
in that situation. Shetar, who had made it clear she found you both
attractive offered to take you and the Lieutenant in trade. They
looked at each other for a moment and started laughing. In reviewing
the situation, I found that I was kept out of the conversations more
and more from that point on."

"Seven, did you know what she had in mind?"

"Not until you and Lieutenant Paris passed out. I never actually
thought she would trade you for the supplies. However, when she
admitted it, I objected. But, I also drank the wine, and soon was
incapacitated myself. I was in my booth for some time before I
recovered. Then she came in and told me if I wanted to stay on board
Voyager and not be dropped off on the next planet that hated the borg,
I had better behave myself. I was considering my options when Tuvok
contacted me. I then contacted her and told her I had decided to
accept her offer."

"Wait one second, if you heard her admit it, why didn't you tell
someone sooner she left us behind," Tom asked belligerently.

"I told Tuvok that I thought she might have left you behind. That was
when he ran the scans and you were reported to be onboard. I assumed
that she had thought better of the idea and decided to get out of the
area."

Tom's eyes narrowed, then he sat back and let the matter go. However,
I wasn't exactly ready to trust Seven myself. I looked around at the
people gathered at the table.

"Does anyone have anything to say on Kathryn Janeway's behalf to
explain her actions?" I watched each of them shake their heads.
"Tuvok?"

"None, Sir. Her actions were contrary to the person I thought I knew,
as well as, contrary to at least three different specific Starfleet
regulations."

"Just three?" Tom asked with disbelief.

"Three specific regulations, however, if you were to be less broad in
your interpretation of other regulations, she was violating sixteen
regulations."

"Suggestions?" I asked.

"Airlock the bitch," B'Elanna growled. I tried not to smile. For some
reason, the suggestion coming from B'Elanna didn't surprise me or
Tom.

"Sir, according to regulations, she should be tried for her crimes,"
Tuvok said.

"How about we leave her on the next planet, that's not friendly to
women?" Tom asked. I gave him a look. He shrugged. "You asked for
suggestions."

"Well, we can't keep her in the brig until we get to the Alpha,"
Harry said.

"Why not?"

"She's almost hacked back into the computer system, three times."

That surprised me. I didn't know Kathryn had that many computer
skills.

"Next question, do we continue to run this ship under Starfleet regs
or do we go back to the Maquis way of doing things."

"Why would we change to Maquis? We're running pretty well under the
Starfleet regs. Why not just keep going?" Harry asked.

"Because Chakotay is Maquis."

"I have to agree with Ensign Kim. We have operated very well under
Starfleet regulations. The change would be disruptive and after
everything else the crew has been through, this would just put
additional strain on everyone. I would suggest, Captain that we
continue as we are with the understanding that Maquis tactics are a
more available option."

I thought about that for a few, looked at Tom. He shrugged it was
reasonable.

"Okay. I'll go ship wide in a little while. Tom and Tuvok stick
around would you? The rest of you, take your posts and let's go
home."

When the room was cleared, Tuvok looked at me.

"Captain, I would like to point out one other matter. If we do return
to the Alpha Quadrant and we have not followed some sort of protocol
regarding Kathryn Janeway, the previous Captain of this vessel, we
could be facing serious charges."

"That's if we run to Starfleet," Tom said. "Besides, that's still
what 65 years in the future?"

"That may well be true, but we could be tried in abstentia."

"Who cares?"

"Tom, Vulcan family honor."

"What? We're going to try her aren't we?"

"Looks like it. What are the sentences applicable in this situation,
Tuvok?"

"Of course, the mutiny was completely documented, as was her
incarceration. Usually, the offending party, if found guilty of
violating the regulations that she is obviously guilty of violating
would be removal from Starfleet, rank stripped and possibly a jail
sentence. However, her involvement in slavery could bring a harsher
punishment."

"What's harsher than jail?" Tom asked.

"Regulations state that a "harsher" ruling could be handed down in
the case of active involvement of slavery."

"That gives us enough room to work with. Anything else Mr. Tuvok?"

"Yes, sir. The matter of First Officer?"

"That will be Tom."

"That is outside St...."

"Fine, we'll make our first adjustment to Starfleet Regs."

Tuvok nodded. "Is there anything else, Sir?"

"No. Thank you Mr. Tuvok."

"It is good to have both of you back aboard," Tuvok said and then
left the conference room. I looked at Tom, he looked a little
confused.

"Questions? Comments? Suggestions?"

"I don't trust Seven."

"Me either. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Why are you making me first officer? You're skipping over Tuvok and
some people won't like that."

"Because I think you can do it. I think you're first officer
material, and I sure as hell would rather have you at my back than
Tuvok."

"Not because of..."

"Nothing to do with Nagor."

"No, I was wondering if it was because technically I'm fleet."

Would that man never throw me a curve? "No, Tom I don't consider you
fleet. However, I was wondering if I could interest you in going to
the brig and visiting Kathryn Janeway with me."

"Only if you promise to lower the force field."

"I'd better have Tuvok watching us, otherwise...I just might kill the
bitch."

We laughed as we went onto the bridge. I sat in the Command Chair and
almost wanted to throw up. I thought of all the times I sat there
trusting Kathryn Janeway only to find out the entire time she... I
sighed heavily.

"Open shipwide communications,"

I made my little speech. It was much more Maquis than Fleet, pep
talks were not my strong point. I explained I was the Captain. I would
continue to do my utmost to get us home safely. That there would be no
major changes in the running of the ship, with the exception of Tom
now being first officer. I warned the Maquis to behave themselves, and
assured the fleeters that what Kathryn Janeway had done would not
reflect on them. I also explained for the first several weeks, I would
have an open door policy if anyone wanted to discuss the situation
with me.

"And finally, in accordance with StarFleet regulation there will be a
trial regarding Kathryn Janeway's punishment for her actions. The time
and date would be announced. Chakotay out."

I looked around and got a nod from Tom. Everything seemed to be
running as usual.

"Where are we?"

"Technically speaking, 2 days from Nagor," Tom said. I smiled.

"Close enough for me."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow at that one, but then Tom gave me the
specific location. I nodded. I looked at the screen and saw the stars
floating by, and wondered what I should do. I knew there were probably
some reports I needed to look at, but I really wanted to go to the
brig and see her.

Tom looked about as uncomfortable as I did. We really should have
taken a day or two off to get back into the swing of things. I gave
the bridge to Tom and went to my ready room. This was going to take
some getting used to.

---

Isn't that just like him. He's uncomfortable, so he runs off and
expects me to get off the helm. I am not going to do it. I want to fly
Voyager, I feel more alive now than I have in the last month.

"Mr. Tuvok, is there any reason I should step down from the helm?"

"None, sir."

I nodded. I sat there flying through space. Geez, my life was a
freaking mess. So what's new, Paris? I asked myself.

Not only was I sold into slavery, I find out B'El and Harry are going
out. That hurt. I really liked both of them so much, but looking back
at what I had seen, they were good for each other. Yeah. Harry
wouldn't take such devious delight in irritating her, and B'Elanna
would be able to relax with with Harry. However, it didn't change the
fact it hurt and I felt like they had betrayed me. But then again,
Chak and I had had sex voluntarily on the planet. Chakotay.

My mind went back to this morning. Man, had he been pissed, and, I
admitted, he had a right to be. I shouldn't have gotten drunk. He had
one hell of a right. I think he bruised my kidney. Interesting
hangover treatment, cold shower, followed by a stiff right to the
midsection, followed by TLC, and the final treatment of a serious
discussion. No wonder the Maquis rarely missed their shift. I smiled.
All this time, I thought it was blind loyalty.

What was going to happen? He'd admitted he was wrong for pushing me
away, for feeling dirty after the market, for feeling ashamed when he
reacted to my touch, but right after that, he'd touched me when I was
putting him on the couch again. That man is more diametrically opposed
than matter and anti-matter.

Maybe it was because it was me. I mean I don't have the best track
record. Maybe it was because I was 'overtly promiscuous'. That's a
nice way to put it, I think. I checked our course and made an
adjustment. But he made me the first officer. Bet that gave Tuvok
diaper rash. Hey, that meant I had to do more reports now. I hate
reports and he knows it. Great. I sullenly ran a diagnostic on the
helm.

But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't forget the feeling of his
arms around me at night, or his head pillowed on my shoulder in the
mornings. I'd almost killed him. That was something I hadn't let
myself think about. If they had been just 20 minutes later with that
badge, Chakotay would have been dead. Oh shit. Facing the maquis after
killing Chakotay? I would have airlocked myself.

Okay Paris, quit examining your innermost self and get down to
business. You have a chance here, so sit up straight and fly right.
Geez, I am a basket case.

About 30 minutes later, Chakotay came back onto the bridge.

"Tom, my ready room. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

I followed Chakotay. As the doors closed, he sat behind the desk.

"Sit down, Tom."

I did and looked at him expectantly.

"I've been looking at some things, and I realize I probably shouldn't
have put us back on duty so quickly. We needed some time to talk, and
reacclimate."

"Chak, I'm happier flying Voyager than I am sitting in my quarters.
And if I know this crew, they needed to hear your voice. Most everyone
respects you."

"I know, but there are some issues we need to deal with."

"Like what?" Maybe we could talk about this now, instead of just
screaming at each other and then declaring a truce.

"Like what I expect of you. Like what I would like to do with
Janeway. Like, how are you doing with B'Elanna and Harry? Like what
happened between us on the planet."

"Okay. First of all, with Harry and B'El, I'm okay with them. It
hurts, yeah, but...I'm not mad at them. In fact, I think they're good
for each other."

He was watching me closely. "I'm glad to hear that Tom."

"Commander," I said with snide intent. "Can we drop the counselor
attitude."

"What do you want from me? You and I have Nagor to deal with. I don't
know what to say. You aren't volunteering anything in regards to how
you feel. I'm now the Captain of this vessel, that's a really big job,
and I don't know how to mix you into this."

"Why don't you try dropping the Commander/Counselor/Captain/Tribal
Shaman/Hardnosed Maquis thing and talk to me, Chak." He turned on me
and I smiled. "Just a suggestion."

"Okay," he sat in his chair, behind his desk and folded his hands in
front of him. I just lifted an eyebrow and stared pointedly at the
desk and him and then to where I sat. He gave me that glare again. "I
hate this room. Let's go to my old office."

When we walked in, we both felt more comfortable. "Would you like
something?"

"Coffee would be great."

He got me a cup and he leaned on the edge of his desk, and I sat on
the couch facing him.

"Tom, I can't really say I love you anymore than I did before Nagor,
but I know this. You were the reason I had even a moment of happiness
on that planet, and it has nothing to do with what they did or didn't
do. You could have shut me out and you didn't. You called me on shit
and kept me alive. I want that Tom Paris here, beside me. I want you
to say something when I'm out of line and not back down because I
don't like it. I don't want to take you off the helm. Tuvok can deal
with the crap. You're the person I want on the helm in case of
emergency. You're the one I want helping me make decisions, because
you see why people do what they do in a way I don't. Where I will
charge into a situation and run everyone over, you can finesse a
situation like a shot on a pool table."

I sat there quietly for a minute. That was probably not an easy thing
for Chakotay to say, because he almost admitted he needed me. Almost.
I could make this rough on him, but I decided not to. "Thank you."

He nodded his head, and sipped his tea.

"Nagor: I don't know how I feel about all of that. I can say I'm glad
you were there with me. You helped me as much as I helped you. Yes, I
feel something, but I don't know if it was the situation or us, and I
don't know just what those feelings are."

"I agree."

First Officer: I'll do my best, on the provisos that you don't take
me off the helm, you don't shoot me down publicly for disagreeing and
three, I don't have to do all those stupid reports, do I?"

"I think there are some reports we can do away with, but some of them
are necessary."

I nodded in agreement. "Good. Janeway - I have no idea. The idea of
facing her scares me to death. Don't ask me why, but the idea of
having to face her now would be worse than having to face Shetar and
Reigh."

"It's because we trusted her and had some respect for her. Also, part
of it is the betrayal we both feel."

"Yeah, that's true. I don't think I ever did anything to expect that
kind of treatment."

"Tom, have you ever seen someone get mad about something that they
had no control over and start taking it out on other people?"

"Yeah." Like my Dad, I thought.

"I think that's a good portion of what happened to her. She didn't
want to come here anymore than what we did. She didn't want to feel
grateful to me or my crew. She has always held a grudge against a lot
of the people at Starfleet for giving her a mission that had so great
a chance to fail. And I think she had to fight the "good old boy"
network of Starfleet once too often."

"That doesn't mean she should have sold us into slavery."

"No, it doesn't, and I'm not any happier with the fact we have to
give her a fair trial, and maybe, let her off the hook. I really don't
see where she can stay on the ship, she will always try to retake the
Captaincy and I won't allow her to do that. Personally, if I had my
druthers, we'd be dumping her on the next M class planet."

"Glad to hear that. Would you like me to run the transporter?"

"Better then B'Elanna. She might disperse her pattern."

"Who says I wouldn't?"

We both laughed. "Come on. Let's go face her and see if we can make
heads or tails of this." Chakotay stood up, putting his cup on his old
desk.

"Right, Captain, Sir, Great Bwana of the Delt-oof." My little speech
was cut short by an elbow to my ribs. "Ow!"

Chakotay smiled at me, and I froze for a second. I was going to have
to do something about my reaction to those dimples.

"Don't mess with me, fleet. I'm a mean maquis."

"Yeah, right." I picked up his cup and took both of them to the
recycler.

"Tuvok, Tom and I are going to the brig and then we're going to get
to work on some of these backlogged reports. You have the bridge until
further notice."

I turned around surprised.

"May I inquire as to how long that would be?"

"At least until the end of this shift."

"Understood Captain."

Chakotay turned the link off. "Ready?"

"Uh, yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"I told you, I don't want to face her. Never mind, let's go see her.
Hey, do you think I'll ever be able to say her name again?"

"I'm having the same problem."

As we approached the brig, there were several guards standing there,
armed.

"Captain, it's good to see you, sir," Greg said, with a smile,
snapping to attention.

"Cut the crap, Greg. Why so many guards?"

"Seems the Maquis would like to extract a little justice the old
fashioned way."

"You're kidding. They tried to kill her?" I asked. I was really
surprised. I really thought more people would be upset that she was in
the brig. I mean it was...the Captain. Then I thought about it. If she
had left Chakotay and Harry or B'El, I would have been really
angry.

"Nothing quite so serious, but we did miss the first food
poisoning."

"First?" Chakotay asked.

"There have been several attempts. As well as lowering the oxygen mix
and the gravity controls seem to have gotten a little unreliable."

We were both fighting smiling. "How unreliable?"

"Well, gravity has swung from a minus 2 to a positive 5."

"Oh shit," I laughed. That would have put her into free float and
then slammed her to the deck barely able to breath.

"B'Elanna assures us she is working on the problem."

"With all due haste, I'm sure," Chakotay said, with a wicked smile.
Then he straightened up. "Let us in, and make sure nothing strange
happens while we're in there.

"Aye, Captain," Greg said. "We'll monitor the entire brig from out
here."

"Oh Greg, I want you to keep an eye on Seven. Something isn't right
there."

"I already took the liberty of setting up some survelience on
her."

"Tuvok agreed?"

"Tuvok doesn't know."

"That's why I like you Greg, we think alike." They both laughed in a
way I hoped they never laughed when they discussed me.

I looked over at Chakotay and he nodded. We walked in. He sighed, and
so did I. I wasn't exactly frightened of facing her, but I sure as
hell was not looking forward to it. She had done that to us. She knew
what we were going to go through, and she was more than likely going
to be pretty damn rude about it.

We approached her cell, and stepped into view. She glanced over at us
and then I saw the feral hatred cross her face.

"NO!" She ran at the forcefield. "You were supposed to die!"

"Nice to see you to, Kathryn," Chakotay said.

"So, how's life been treating you lately?" I couldn't believe I said
that, but I recognized that I was nervous and when I got nervous, I
got cocky.

I glanced at Chakotay and for some reason he wasn't glaring at me.
Did he really understand? However, her enraged scream brought my
attention firmly back to the cell in front of me.

"You whore! How dare they bring you back aboard my ship! Shetar
promised you'd die if you left the city!"

"Are you saying you were actually trying to kill us?" Chakotay asked
shocked.

"Yes, I wanted you dead, but Shetar and Reigh said they would keep
you there as slaves and any attempt to rescue you or escape and you
would die!"

"What happened, Kathryn? What changed it? Or was it your intention
from the very beginning to get rid of me?"

"Chakotay, I never wanted you on my ship. You're a traitor. You're
Maquis scum. I needed your crew, but you?! I only needed you to keep
them in line. You're just like every other man I have ever met.
Intrinsically better, because you're male."

"What about me? I trusted you," I asked. I really needed an answer to
that question. For some reason, I needed an answer.

"You?! Tom Paris?! Traitor, screw up, murderer! I should have hired
you for crew morale. If they aren't happy send Tom Paris and he'll
fuck you." I mentally cringed at her words. They were vicious, and dug
deep.

"That is enough, Kathryn," Chakotay said. He touched my arm and
started to leave. "I won't listen to one more word of this."

"Oh Chakotay, you'll listen to one more word. Ahnwoon."

We both spun back to the cell. Ahnwoon was a vulcan fighting strap.
It was a nasty weapon when used correctly. I watched amazed as the
forcefield disengaged, a phaser appear on the table in Kathryn's room
and then from behind me the familiar hum of the transporter.

"Computer, security lock-out. Authorization Janeway, alpha, alpha
Zeta."

I turned to see Vorick and Seven standing behind us. Vorick had an
Ahnwoon. Seven had a pulse rifle. Chakotay hit his badge.

"Greg, emergency beam out."

Silence.

"Surprise, Chakotay," Kathryn said, advancing on me with a demented
smile on her face. Seven had the pulse rifle pointed at me. Rage
flooded through my system and I had to fight myself to keep from
attacking them. I glanced over at Tom. He was holding Vorick at bay,
but he wasn't going to last long.

"You didn't really think after all the careful planning I went
through, I didn't factor in the possibility they would get you back,
did you?"

I didn't think I should answer that question. I knew Greg was
watching us, and assuming they still had vid, they knew what was going
on. Hopefully, Tuvok knew as well. I looked over as Vorick skillfully
wrapped the ahnwoon around Tom's ankles and jerked his legs out from
under him. Tom went down hard. I saw Vorick almost smile.

"Next time I chose a mate, perhaps you will stay out of it," Vorick
suggested to Tom.

"Don't feel to bad Vorick, she dumped me, too," Tom said, from the
floor.

"You as well? She is a fickle bitch."

A plan formed in my mind. It was a crazy plan, but a plan.

"Kathryn, what I don't understand..."

"It is Captain, to you," she said, pointing the phaser at my head.
Considering the gleam in her eyes, I really didn't think pushing her
was a good idea.

"Oh course, Captain." I used my most calming tones. I held my hands
away from my sides. "What I don't understand is, why did you give us
to Shetar?"

I saw the confused look on Tom's face.

She laughed. "Please, Chakotay, I am not that stupid."

Tom started to climb to his feet and Vorick didn't appear to have a
problem with it. I gave him a hand and he stood up. I squeezed his
hand gently and continued.

"Captain, I never meant to say you were stupid. I'll admit I was
shocked when you gave us to Shetar, but you knew how I feel about you.
Why did you give me to Shetar?"

"Go ahead, Chakotay. Confess your undying love, again. Nothing you
say will change my mind. You two are going to die."

"Ask Seven." I turned to her. "Seven, wasn't I looking for a way to
pardon the Captain?"

"It is true." She was wavering. Obviously, this was way out of her
area of experience. Then I realized Kathryn had leaned into her Borg
mentality. Loyalty to the hive, but Seven was a weak point. "He did
look for ways to explain your behaviour."

"I haven't moved into your quarters," I said matter-of-factly.

"Chakotay what are you saying?" Tom asked, backing away from me.

"Tom, everyone knows how I feel about the Captain."

"Chakotay, she sold us for supplies!" He continued to back up, and I
followed him. I gestured slightly to the left with my eyes.

"She is the Captain of the vessel. Tom, you should've seen what I
used for trade in the Maquis. If you hadn't gotten taken, I probably
would have sold your ass if we needed something bad enough." There,
Tom was inside the boundaries of the cell.

"You're joking." Tom got pale on that line. I hoped he wasn't really
believing what I was saying.

"I used to enter B'Elanna in fights if we really needed money for
something." I took another step and Tom stepped back. He was clear of
the forcefield.

"Both of you stop," Kathryn ordered.

I glanced back at her. Nope, she wasn't going for it. Damn it! Five
more steps and we were good. Tom was...I couldn't risk it.

"Computer, Maquis, Two, Nine, Chakotay, Gamma. Raise forcefield and
transport occupant to corridor outside brig."

I vaguely remembered hearing the computer acknowledge and the hum of
a transporter before I felt the pulse rifle fire.

---

My head hurt. I mean my head really, really hurt. My back felt like
it was broken. I opened my eyes and found myself on the deck in one of
the containment cells. I looked around, and saw the Captain talking to
Tom over the com link, Vorick and Seven standing behind her. I
struggled to my feet.

"Tom, I can destroy Voyager from here. I suggest you just open the
doors to the brig and step down."

Tom glanced at me for a second and I shook my head.

"No way. You blow Voyager up, you go with us." He looked calm and
cool. Good. "I believe this is known as a Mexican Stand Off."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. When you are ready to
step down and give Voyager back to me, I'll be here." She cut the link
and turned to Vorick and Seven. "How many of the programs have they
found?"

"Of the 42 main programs, they have disabled 36 of them, Captain,"
Vorick stated. Kathryn cussed, but then noticed I was awake.

She took them to the other side of the brig where I couldn't hear
them. I hit my comm badge, no response. Then I saw the com link open
back up. I looked and saw a sign. 'We're working on it. Drop the
knife." Then the view screen went blank.

What in the hell did that mean? Drop the knife? Then I remembered on
the planet when I tried to kill myself with the knife. Tom was telling
me no more heroics. The boy did show some imagination. I sat down on
the cot. Wait a second. they had opened that view screen...they had a
lot more control than Kathryn thought they did, and as long as the
forcefield was up, they couldn't get to me.

I considered transporting myself out. In fact, it would probably make
life a lot easier if I weren't here. "Computer, Maquis, Two, Nine,
Chakotay, Gamma."

"Voice recognition no longer valid."

Damn! And I just told Kathryn I was trying to escape. I heard her
laugh.

"Chakotay, if I didn't have enough sense to stop you from escaping
that way, I don't deserve the title of Captain."

You don't deserve it now, I thought to myself. I spent the next
several moments searching the cell for something, anything to use as a
weapon. Nothing.

In a few moments, the three of them came back. Kathryn was stalking
angrily. She came right up to the forcefield.

"I should have known I couldn't trust you. I never could trust you.
Watch this. Vorick."

"Life support to the entire ship with the exception of this area has
been cut off."

"No!" I cried, coming to my feet. What was she going to do, kill
everyone and try to make it with 3 people?

Kathryn smiled at me. "Oh yes, Chakotay. Do you really think I would
let them take Voyager from me. She's mine."

The view screen beeped. She answered the hail.

"What have you done?" Tom asked.

"I shut off life support. You have about 20 minutes before people
start passing out, Tom."

"You can't do this. You'll kill everyone!"

"Being captain isn't easy, Tom. You have to make hard decisions. So
what will it be."

"We can't circumnavigate her commands," Tuvok's voice said. My
stomach lurched with that announcement.

"Give me back Voyager, Tom."

"No."

"Fine, Vorick, flood the the lower decks with anesthesia."

"Yes, Captain. Decks 17-25 being flooded."

Tom looked off to the side with a look of panic in his eyes.

"Don't give in, Tom," I called. Kathryn turned and fired off a round
at me. I jumped out of sheer instinct, but the forcefield absorbed it.
My heart was trip hammering anyway.

"Shut up!" She looked back at the screen. "Your decision, Tom."

"No. I can't release you from the brig."

I really felt bad for Tom. I knew this had to be so hard, because he
wasn't willing to shed blood, so he was going to loose. Damn, what
would happen when she had Voyager back. Shetar, here we come. Spirits
not that. Inanely, I thought we were going to wear this patch of space
out, back and forth, back and forth.

"Vorick."

"Decks 8 through 16 being flooded."

"Your answer?"

"No!" Tom said angrily.

"Captain," I said angrily. "You can't kill all those people. They
trusted you!" I was talking to both of them, but Kathryn turned
around.

"No, they trusted you, Chakotay. They trusted you to save them from
me. And you failed. And you left Paris as first officer. How utterly
stupid. He's a pup, wet behind the ears."

"Seven, is this Borg mentality. Kill people who once trusted you.
Kill the people you need to obtain your goal."

"No, that is not the Borg way, but I am no longer Borg."

"If you believe in her, why did you help them come back and get us?"
I asked somehow, I had to slow this down to buy Tom some time.

"That was the Captain's plan. If the crew mutinied, I was wait until
Voyager was repaired and then be ready to help the Captain take the
ship back."

"Does it make any sense to blow up the ship?"

"Chakotay, I won't blow Voyager up. I just need to rattle Tom badly
enough he gives her back." I glanced behind them and saw the screen
was still active. They were hearing every word of this.

"Vorick, is this logical?"

"It is very logical. Captain Janeway is the best qualified for the
position of Captain. Therefore, it is logical that she return to that
position."

"Enough," Kathryn said. She turned back to the screen. "Tom, if you
give Voyager back to me now, I won't even put you in the brig, I
promise. But if I have to take her back, I may kill all the traitors,
but you I will lock up in this brig until I personally deliver you
back to Auckland. Do you understand me?"

"Fine. I won't give Voyager back."

"Vorick, flood everything but the command deck with gas."

"Flooding decks 1-8, Captain."

Then there was a hiss. Kathryn turned to Vorick, he looked around
confused, but I could smell it. Kathryn had just managed to flood the
brig. I started laughing.

"Vorick!"

"This was not supposed to happen." He looked at the console
confused.

"Stop it."

"I'm afraid Captain, it's too late." He said, as he leaned on the
console. Seven slipped to the floor and as I also succumbed to the
gas, I saw Kathryn turn and blow the view screen up.

---

I opened my eyes again.

"This is getting so old," I said, as Tom smiled down at me.

"You have done your time unconscious, Chak. That's for sure." His
smile brightened my world for a moment. He helped me sit up.

I stood up slowly. Tom's arm came around my waist and I smiled up at
him. Tom smiled back, and I gently leaned in and kissed him. He looked
shocked at first, but then he leaned into it.

"How you feeling?" he asked

"Pretty good. How about you?"

"A whole bunch better since we got you out of there and a lot more
clear about some things." His eyes filled in any doubts I may have had
about what he meant.

"Me, too." I leaned in for another kiss.

The EMH cleared his throat testily and Tom rolled his eyes.

I sighed. "So what happened after the gas?"

"Tuvok had identified all the programs she wrote and altered them to
only affect the brig. We knew once she cut life support and supposedly
started flooding decks with the gas, she was going to get herself. It
was just a matter of time."

"You mean it didn't affect any other areas?"

"No. We cut their sensors so they were blind."

"Good job, Tom. I believed you."

"Hey, I am nothing if not a good actor."

"What about Seven and Vorick?"

"We locked them up and disabled all voice sensors inside the
brig."

"Good idea."

"By the way, where did the one you used come from?"

I smiled evilly. "I wrote that one the first day we were on Voyager.
I didn't know if I would need to bust my people out of the brig, so...
Just call it a little insurance."

Tom smiled. "We really need to talk to Tuvok about all these
unauthorized programs running around."

"Yeah, we do." I looked at the holodoc. "Do I need to stay?"

"No. But with Commander Paris ordering me about as if you were on
death's door, I thought it would be best to keep you here until you
woke up."

I looked at Tom, who was blushing slightly. I smiled at him, and he
smiled back, embarrassed. I knew my dimples were showing, and Tom was
looking particularly sheepish.

"Is that so?"

"Well, I didn't know if Seven hurt you with that shot from the pulse
rifle."

"I told you, Commander, the Captain was fine. The rifle was set on
stun."

I wondered if it was possible for Tom to strangle the EMH.

"See, he can make Commander sound like, you Cardassian slime, too," I
noted. "Come on, Tom. Let's go work on reports and you can fill me in
on what happened."

We walked out of sickbay side by side.

"The sign was a good idea, Tom. I knew you had something up your
sleeve, but I didn't know what it was."

"I hoped you'd catch on." We passed several crewmen and both of us
were greeted. We responded that we were fine and continued on our
way.

"How are you feeling, really, Chak."

"My back's a little sore. Head's a little foggy, but nothing serious.
Sorry, I had to say those things to you in there."

"I have to admit, you had me worried. Then when you beamed me out, I
was madder than a Klingon with fleas."

I laughed at that mental picture. We got on the turbo lift. "So what
else is going on?"

"This." He leaned against me, pinning me to the wall of the lift.
Then kissed me deeply. My hands came to his head and pulled him close.
Without breaking the kiss he stepped up close and pressed himself
against me. I kissed him harder as his erect cock rubbed against mine.
We broke apart and he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Spirits, Tom," I whispered. "Are you sure?"

"After that kiss, you have doubts?"

Then the lift slowed and we stood up. I almost started laughing. This
was ridiculous. The lift doors opened and we walked into the hall. Tom
started talking again as if nothing had happened.

"Not much. Tuvok's got the con. No one is allowed into the brig. All
of her command codes have been flushed, as well as Vorick's and
Seven's. Tuvok believes they are secure."

I couldn't look at him, because I knew if I did, I'd have him against
the wall. What had he just said? Oh, her.

"I sure as hell hope so."

I stopped in front of my cabin, and my fingers fumbled with the
code.

Then we were inside. I turned back to him and pulled the lithe body
to mine.

"I thought I'd lost you again, Chakotay," Tom mumbled, as he ran his
hands over my back. "You scared me today."

"You can't panic every time I get in a tough situation." I kissed
him, and it became more and more frantic. We were pulling each others
clothes off.

"I love you, Chakotay," Tom whispered, and then he froze. I pulled
back a little, and met his eyes. What I saw hit me harder than that
pulse rifle did. He meant it. Tom actually meant those words. He tried
to back out of it.

"I...I mean...."

"Don't you dare," I said low and quiet. I gently kissed his lips.
"It's okay."

"But, I just said this morning, I wasn't sure."

I smiled gently. "You are allowed to change your mind in these
situations." I kissed him again, and put everything I knew behind it.
It was actually strange kissing someone who was taller than me, but
Tom was responsive and I had been right on the planet. He knew how to
kiss. Soon we were biting and kissing and desperately trying to get to
flesh. His hand slid down my back and squeezed my ass, pulling me
closer against him.

"Oh, yes, Tom. That feels good." I bit at his neck, raising a bruise
as I drew at it. Tom groaned and dropped his head to the side giving
me better access. I pulled the jacket from his shoulders and dropped
it on the floor. My hands made short work of untucking his shirt, as I
continued to work at his neck. His hands were probably raising bruises
on my ass, but I didn't really care as we rocked together. A moment
later, I felt his hand slide inside the waist of my pants. I almost
ripped his when his warm fingers brushed the tip of my cock. I pulled
away from him.

"Strip," I ordered, rapidly pulling my clothes off. He gave me a
jaunty smile and opened his pants, slowly pulling them down his body.
He turned sideways. I nearly ripped my own pants when he leaned over
at the waist showing me that delectable ass, as he pulled his boots
and pants off. "Oh you are going to pay for that one."

"I certainly hope so," he said back. Now instead of irritating, I
found his baiting exciting. When we were both naked, I pulled him to
me by the arm and I stopped when I felt his resistance. The way I had
handled him on the planet when they were driving me insane.

I met his eyes and said, "Tom, I will never hurt you the way they
made me. I promise you that." I turned and went to the bedroom and
returned with something.

Tom looked a little surprised when I came back in and his interest
had waned a bit, but I wasn't too concerned. I made a show of
squeezing the lube out into my hands and then rubbing them together,
warming the oil. Then I reached out and took his semi-hard cock in my
hand. He grunted and his knees bent as I began to stroke him back to
hardness.

"I won't hurt you, Tom."

"Oh, gods, Chak. Yes!" he cried as I worked him. His hands closed on
my shoulders as he began to push into my hand. I pulled his head back
down to mine, and slid my lips against his and began to explore. He
jumped when I ran my thumb over the top of his cock. He liked it when
I drew on his tongue as we kissed. He liked his balls handled with
firmness. I was aching. I wanted to take him here by the door, but I
managed to get him to the couch. I pushed him back onto it and he
looked up at me.

"Chak, except the planet, I've never been on the bottom."

"Let me show you, Tom." I said. "I won't hurt you."

Slowly, I covered him and slid my hand between his cheeks. As I
slowly introduced him to being opened, I once more stroked his cock
with my free hand. When I gained entry, I immediately sought out the
spot, and when Tom arched off the couch, I knew I found it. Over and
over I stroked it, opening him for me. He was almost frantic.

"Gods, Chakotay, fuck me," he groaned. His cock was hard and weeping
and so was mine. I lifted his legs and slowly began to push into him.
He gasped as I first entered him, and with every ounce of will power I
possessed I forced myself to be still.

Then he shifted slightly and whispered, with a smile. "Go."

That was all I needed. I began to work myself into him. It was the
slowest, sweetest torture, I had ever been through. He was hot, tight,
and the desire to impale him, claim him, was almost overwhelming. I
was completely buried in him. He opened his eyes and I met those eyes
that for once were wide open. I could see into his soul and I knew I
lost mine to him.

I spoke my heart. "I love you, Tom." Then I slid out and pushed back
into him, and watched him arch his neck and grab for a handhold. The
groan was from the depths of his being. I couldn't hold back anymore.
I began to drive in and out of him, watching his face the entire time.
He was beautiful and he was mine. I pumped his cock as he came closer
and closer. I felt myself tighten. And as Tom cried out and erupted,
his muscles tightening around me, sent me over the edge. I know I
cried out something, but I can't remember what. White lightening shot
through my body as we emptied ourselves. Nothing else existed but us.
I put my trembling arms on either side of him to support myself, until
I felt his hand touch my face.

"That was awesome, big man."

I smiled. "Pretty good yourself, flyboy."

He pulled me to him, and for several moments we just snuggled
together. Then we slept.

---

We woke up at 22:00 hours. Really, I don't know when Tom woke up, but
I woke up to his fingers gently stroking through my hair. I sighed.

"My mother used to do that," I said low. I was still more or less on
top of Tom, but kinda off to one side.

"Mine, too."

"It's nice."

"Yeah, it is. It's nice to do, too." I ran my hand over his chest.

"I think we need a shower."

"I think that would be a good idea. You aren't going to hit me again,
are you?"

"You gonna get drunk again?"

"Don't plan on it."

"Then let's go."

We both got in and on a whim, I turned the hot water up. I took the
cloth and the gel from him, leaned over and kissed him.

"Lean up against the wall."

For a moment, he looked confused and then he smiled and turned his
back to me and braced against the wall. "Wash it all off me,
Chakotay."

I scrubbed his back and his front until his skin was red. Then I
handed it to him and he did the same thing to me. Then we kissed long
and hard. That is until the water started to get cold. We got out and
dried off. I handed Tom my robe while I pulled on a pair of loose
cotton trousers.

Then, we started talking. We talked about getting home, running
Voyager, responsibilities, expectations, things like that. We had a
quiet meal, a few glasses of wine and then we started laughing.

Finally I sat back. "I haven't been this relaxed in years, Tom. Thank
you."

"I've never been this relaxed."

"Tom, I feel good about this. I really think we can do it."

"I agree, but there are two more subjects we need to finish talking
about."

"Let's save them for tomorrow. Care to sleep with me?"

"Chak, I don't know about you, but I've had about one glass too many
for that."

"Not sex, Tom. Just flesh. Holding each other."

He smiled vaguely and we went and curled up in my bed and slipped off
into a quiet sleep.

I woke up later with Chakotay curled up to me. I sleep on my back,
and he was curled up to my side, a leg thrown over mine and his arms
around my waist. Well, that confirmed it, my Captain was a cuddler. I
smiled as I tucked an arm behind my head. I looked down and took in
the man. I gently kissed his forehead and he snuggled closer. Chakotay
definitely had a face to love. He was a strong man, but there was a
softer side I had gotten glimpses of on the planet. His shoulders and
arms were big and powerful, and I enjoyed the feel of them wrapped
around my waist.

I was inspecting his oh-so-tight butt, when he shifted against me.
Now that brought another part of him into play as he rubbed his cock
against my leg. He groaned, shifted and did it again. In the rare
playful morning mood, although it was really about 2:30 in the
morning, I ran my hand down his side, and then to his cock. I stroked
what I could reach, only to be rewarded with another groan, and
Chakotay shifting to allow me more access. He snuggled his head closer
on my shoulder and, even though he was still mostly asleep, began to
push into my hand.

I rolled him over and pulled the covers back. I was going to replay a
kindness. Slowly I moved and took Chakotay's cock in my mouth. The
groan and his hands lazily breezing over my face told me I was doing
good. I tongued the head, while running my hands over his belly and
upper legs. Then his hands tightened in my hair.

"Tom?" His voice was so sexy first thing in the morning. I went down
on him and sucked hard. I was rewarded with a deep groan and he arched
up into my mouth. "Spirits, Tom, yeah."

I kept it up, handling his balls, teasing his cock, until with a
groan, Chakotay pulled me up to him, and kissed me. His tongue
demanded entry and there was something abut him getting so strong that
was exciting. He was pushing himself against me. His hands traveling
over my face and chest. He pinched and twisted one of my nipples and I
hissed. When his teeth began to chew on my neck, I arched up against
him. He growled an answer. Then his hand closed around my cock and I
was his. There wasn't anything he couldn't do to me. He continued to
bite and draw on my neck, and stroke my cock. My hands curled into his
hair, as the other gripped at the sheets.

"Chak," I cried, twisting and pushing. He laughed and went for broke.
Soon I was bucking up into his hand, making noises as he found spot
after spot that made me twist.

"How you feeling today?" He whispered low and deep in my ear.

"I'm fine, go," I replied and as he released me, I rolled over.

I was expecting him to get down to business, instead he pinned me
down with his bulk and began to explore my back. Now I knew my back
was very sensitive, but as he dragged his fingers up and down my back,
using his lips and teeth, I thought I was going to explode. I hunched
against the sheets, desperately wanting to finish this sweet torture,
when one of his big hands pinned me down. For a moment, he reached off
to the side. Then I learned the meaning of the word torture. Chakotay
not only opened me, but continued to use his teeth and lips and hair
on my back.

"Chakotay, please," I panted. "Spirits, do something." He massaged
that spot inside me and I almost came. Then he did something in a
position I had never tried before in my life, which by the way, was
saying something.

He took his hands away and shoved pillows under my hips, freeing my
cock with a firm stroke. Then he completely covered me, literally
pinning me down with his weight, using his body to hold me motionless.
It didn't hurt, it was just restrictive. Anytime I moved, all I felt
was Chakotay. Then slowly he pushed into me. Gods, it was so freaking
hot. To feel all that weight, that muscle. To feel his stomach and
legs flex as his cock slowly stretched me, I wanted to move, but I
couldn't. He wrapped his arms beside mine, holding my wrists. Then as
I relaxed to his invasion, he nuzzled into my neck and began to
torture that spot where my neck and shoulder met as he pushed deep
inside me, encouraging me to relax to him. When he was inside me, I
shuddered.

"Yeah, Tom. That's it, let me in," his voice caressed my ear.

"Oh, gods, yes," I panted, absolutely helpless beneath him. He
continued the long torturous slide in, attacking my neck until is was
writhing beneath him. "Chak, please."

"You like that Tom?" He asked. I could feel the heat and the sweat
mixing on my back, as he pulled out and then pushed back in.

"Fuck you, Chak. Finish this."

He chuckled. "Wrong answer."

He blew a breath down my spine and I shivered and it did nothing but
impress how deep he was inside me. He pushed my legs wider apart,
shifted himself and pushed that little bit deeper. When he rocked from
side to side, moving himself that way, I nearly screamed.

"Okay, you win. Fuck me, Chak. Please."

I was pulled back and up and the all rational thoughts escaped me as
Chakotay began to drive that gorgeous cock up inside me. I was just
about to reach for my own aching cock, when his hand closed over it.
Then I heard him.

"Come for me, Tom. Give it to me, Poocah."

His words, his tone, his actions, he needed me. Chakotay needed me.
He'd let me in on the planet, I'd let him in. He had to know it was
real. His strokes were driving me insane. I shifted completely opening
myself to him. I heard the groan of pleasure. I was usually quiet when
I made for love, but I let myself talk, and I told him.

"Gods, Chak. So good. More, give me more." and I felt myself begin to
tighten.

His thrusts were hard, almost punishing, his hand was strong, and I
was so close. I was making all sorts of noise. I began to drive back
to meet him.

"Finish me," I cried, and I felt like he was going to drive me
through the mattress. I lost me, I lost him, the only thing that
mattered was us. The point of meeting between us. Then I screamed as I
came. I poured everything out, white hot fire erupting from me. I
heard him say something and then his cry as he filled me.

We stayed together, both breathing hard. I was covered in sweat.
There was no strength in my arms, but when I felt Chakotay's lips, and
the whispered, "Poocah." I decided I would stay just like I was until
I fell asleep if necessary.

Then his arm came around my waist and with practice, he lowered us
both to our sides. Those big arms held me close and I stroked his
arms. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything to
express what I felt, so I wrapped my arms around his and snuggled back
against him. I fell back asleep to his lips on my shoulders.

---

I woke up to the smell of coffee. I slowly opened one eye.

"Morning, sunshine," Chakotay said with a smile, waving the coffee
under my nose. Damn, he was already dressed.

"I have a rule, being cheerful before my first cup of coffee gets you
shot." I sat up and leaned back against the headboard, taking the cup
of coffee. I sniffed the aroma deeply as I took my first sip. Chakotay
chuckled at my long drawn out groan of appreciation.

"Shall I assume you are not a morning person?"

"You could say that," I said, as my eyes finally began to operate in
tandem instead of independently of each other. "And how are you this
morning?"

"Fine," the word wasn't just spoken it was caressed and made me feel
warm and cuddly. "And you?"

I smiled as I took another sip, then I winked at him. "I'm fine. Very
comfortable."

"Glad to hear that. What would you like for breakfast."

"Nope." I said, sitting up straight, crossing my legs under the
covers. "You got dinner, breakfast is mine and I guarantee you will
like it."

"Okay."

"Just give me a few to wake up." I took another sip of coffee.

When I finally managed to get semi-dressed, I approached his
replicator. "Computer, debit Paris account, double order specialty
breakfast no. 2, with only one order of sausage. Do you do eggs,
Chak?"

"Basic rule of thumb, if I may have to look it in the eye and
apologize for eating it, the answer is no."

"That would be a no then. Computer, one order of eg...never mind, no
eggs."

I started unloading stuff from the replicator. Orange juice, one
order of sausage, a large platter of blueberry pancakes.

"Chak, you got syrup?"

"Nope."

"Computer, eight ounce container maple syrup at twenty-five degrees
celsius, and one-quarter cup whipped butter, and two small fruit
salads." I set it all out on the table. "Breakfast."

We plowed through that meal like we were both starving. Then we sat
back like two sated pigs.

"That was good," Chakotay said, as he refilled out coffee cups.

"A favorite of mine. Used to eat it as a kid."

"Okay," Chak sat back and looked at me seriously. "Today's
business."

I sighed heavily. "What do you want to do with her?"

"We're putting all three of them off on the next planet that will
support them. I'm not going to try her. I think the most prudent thing
we can do is get her off the ship. Anything else is asking for
trouble."

"I agree. I think if we put them off with some supplies, and...well
sort of like we did with you two on New Earth, it would work." When I
realized what I was saying, I looked over at him. He was far away.

"New Earth," his voice was kinda ghostly. "That was an eon ago".

I touched his arm after a minute. It scared the shit out of me, but I
had to ask. This one I had to know the answer to.

"Chak, I'm going to be really honest here about something. If putting
her off is a problem, say something now. We can erase her voice
authorization from the systems, lock her out. Maybe...."

Chakotay started laughing. "I don't want that bitch on board anymore
than I want a Vidian Doctor." He looked me straight in the eye. "Tom,
she sold us. I never did any of the stuff I said yesterday. I don't
love her, I never did."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed. "I'm glad to hear that," Tom
sighed. "Because, Chak, I really care about you. I dream of you at
night, holding me and your touch and stuff like that."

I sat quietly for a while. "You want to hear something funny, Tom. I
dream about you too, but, I just feel it, because I was blind. I dream
of your smell, your touch." I took his hand. "Tom, I wasn't going to
push you after the thing with B'Elanna. I wasn't going to push you
after what I pulled yesterday, but I want you to know, I knew on the
planet."

"Yeah," I said gently. "Me too, I guess."

"I can't believe this happened, and I really can't believe I am in
charge of a starfleet vessel."

"Speaking of which, you need to check with Tuvok."

"Good idea." He opened a comm line. "Tuvok."

"Yes, Captain."

"Status?"

"I believe you would say everything is fine."

"Good. Would it be within regulations, considering she admitted she
was trying to retake the ship by force, that she planned to kill Tom
and myself, that she, Vorick and Seven be put off on the next
planet?"

"Yes, Captain. That would be within regulations."

"Start scanning for an M class, capable of supporting them, that
isn't inhabited and gather the same supplies for them that you put
together for Kathryn and I on New Earth."

"Aye, Captain. May I ask when you are returning to duty?"

"I believe considering what we have been through, Commander Paris and
I need to take a day to reacclimate ourselves. If you need us we are
available, but until tomorrow, we will be taking administrative leave
and working on reports."

"Understood, Captain."

---

I watched Chakotay throughout the day. It was strange how comfortable
we were with each other. I very quickly discovered Chakotay had a
sense of humor that was wicked. His smile appeared readily, his wit
sending me  off into laughter on many occassions, and his presence
exciting.

We went to our respective offices and gathered reports up and then
retired to my office, but I sat on the couch and Chakotay took the
desk.

"Okay, let's sift through these," he said, picking up a padd. "Okay,
this report is from B'Elanna. It's engine statistics, fuel
consumption. These we need." He quickly outlined what he wanted. Take
the pertinent information, condense it down and transfer it to another
padd which was a recap. He went through a few others. Then he
laughed.

"This is the one. This is report dealing with waste management.
Ready?"

"Sure," I said with a smile.

"What I want you to do with this report is this." He took the padd
and threw it over his shoulder. "I never want to see that report again
unless there is a problem."

I started laughing.

"Here's another one. Neelix's weekly report on crew morale." It went
over his shoulder.

"Oh, here's the report on holodeck energy usage." Over his shoulder.
"In my opinion, the holodeck's are important. As long as no one is
abusing them, let it go."

"What's abusing?"

"More than 8 hours a week. That's fair don't you think?"

"I rarely use that much. I think we ought to check and see how much
and when Sandrine's is running. Then we can make an open program
night. We run it on "Ship" time. That way anyone can enjoy it."

"Good idea. Oh, speaking of which. I would really like you to quit
hustling credits."

"Hey, I don't hustle."

"The hell you don't. Come on, how many credits have you won off
Harry."

"Harry asks for it. Next to that it takes the fun out of it."

He sat back for a minute. "Okay, you can play Harry and the regular
people you gamble with, but back off on taking everyone, okay? But
it's not something I would have put up with in the Maquis and I don't
think a senior officer should hustle."

"Okay, from the looks of it, I'm not going to have much time to do it
anyway." I looked at the fifteen padds strewn on the couch around
me.

"You better believe it, Poocah."

"I hate reports, Chakotay."

"I wasn't talking about the reports keeping you busy."

I looked up and caught the fire in his eyes. I smiled again, and
lifted an eyebrow. Chakotay stood up, came around the desk, and held
his hand out to me, I stood up. He put his arms around me.

"My turn," he said gently. "When we were on the planet, I realized I
cared about you. But I had already thrown B'Elanna in your face and so
I knew I had shot myself in the foot. When we got back up here, and I
found out what had happened, my heart hurt for you, Tom. Then when we
finally start talking and getting past the crap, Janeway decides to
free herself, I had to get you out. Really I was trying to get both of
us out, but I was afraid if I made a dive for it, we wouldn't make
it." He brushed his lips over mine, I leaned in for more, but he
pulled back. "I really do care for you, Tom."

"Then show me, big man." I leaned down and kissed him. Now I knew I
had an inch or so on Chakotay, but when he put those big arms around
me, it felt so good. Just as things were getting pretty intense, his
comm badge went off. I sighed heavily deciding we had to do something
about that ASAP.

"Chakotay."

"Captain, I believe we have found a planet suitable for our
purposes."

"How far away, Mr. Tuvok?"

"54.3 hours at our present speed, Captain."

"And that would be?"

"Warp 5."

"Call a Senior Staff meeting, Mr. Tuvok. A half hour, my ready
room."

I gave him a pained look, but he swatted me on the butt. "Come on,
work before pleasure."

I sat there and listened to the reports. I began to believe whoever
ran this universe had a real warped sense of humor. This planet was
good, it had reasonable temperatures, it had soil that was fertile, a
few carnivorous animals, but not to many, and one very prolific type
of vegetation. Neelix wanted to know if they could harvest some of the
leola root while we were there. Chakotay said no. I could have kissed
him.

"I want to know why Seven went with the Captain," Harry said.

"Can we open a comm link?"

"No," Tuvok said. "All voice sensors have been disabled."

I watched him, and I realized he was back where he belonged. Chak
should have been in command all along. Kathryn Janeway had been a good
Captain, but she was just too rigid to do this as well as Chakotay. If
it wasn't in the books, it took her forever to make a decision, and
there was too much in the Delta that wasn't in the books.

I also noticed how handsome he was. The dark smooth skin, his eyes
were, well unless you got close enough, you didn't notice how dark and
inviting they were. Every time you got around him, you were reminded
of his physical strength. It was about then B'Elanna slapped me under
the table.

"What?" I whispered

"You just got asked a question," she whispered back. Harry had that
smile on his face, and I looked back around the table to see everyone
staring at me.

"Oh." I blushed when I met Chakotay's eyes. I had been caught staring
big time. Chakotay had a very mischievous look on his face, and his
dimples deepened as I felt my face get hotter. There were some days I
hated being fair skinned.

"What?"

"Would you care to accompany me to sickbay to ask Seven some
questions?"

"Sickbay?"

"Yes, where we are going to beam her into a containment field, so we
can talk to her." Chakotay's smile became broader.

"As long as you give me a phaser this time."

"I assure you Commander Paris, there will be a full retinue of
security there," Tuvok said.

"I don't care, I want my own phaser."

"Don't be insulted, Mr. Tuvok," Chakotay said, as he stood up. "I
want one, too."

---

When she was beamed in, she looked around.

"Why am I here?"

"Because we have some questions," Chakotay said, leaning against the
wall.

"I will not answer your questions."

"Why, Seven. Why did you do this," I asked. Seven and I had spent
some time together. I thought maybe we could talk.

"You would not understand."

"Did she promise to make you first officer," Chakotay asked.

"Yes, but that is not the reason."

"Seven," I asked. "We were friends. I tried to help you. Why did you
let Kathryn Janeway leave us on that planet. Isn't it kinda
inefficient to leave a pilot behind? And why did you go along with
it?"

There was a moment of silence. The Seven met my gaze levelly.

"You are right, it was inefficient, but we have other pilots. The
Captain promised to...Vorick is about to enter Ponn Far and she said,
if I assisted with this plan, she would allow me to bond with him."

There was stunned silence in the room. I was shocked, confused until
I realized why. "The collective? The voices?"

"Yes, although you do not understand the collective and how alone I
have felt since I was separated. I have no wish to return to the Borg.
However, I also do not wish to be alone either."

"And so, if I told you we were going to leave you on a planet with
Kathryn and Vorick that would be acceptable to you?"

"Quite."

"Do you want to stay on Voyager?" I asked.

"I will miss certain members of the crew, but if I have a choice
between being on Voyager alone and bonding with Vorick, I choose to be
put off the ship."

Chakotay sighed and then nodded. "Put her back, Tuvok."

"I guess that answers that question," I said, after she was gone.

"Yep," Chakotay answered me. He handed his phaser to Tuvok. "Tuvok,
I'll be in my quarters or Commander Paris' office."

"Understood, Captain."

We walked out. I could tell Chakotay was thinking. I matched his
pace. The light teasing mood of earlier day was gone.

"What's up, big man?"

"Seven, that was pretty low of Kathryn to do that. I wonder if Vorick
knew what he was being used for? I wonder if Seven will be happy."

"Chakotay. I don't think Vorick will mind. In my opinion though, I
think when Vorick and Seven bond, she may get more than what she
bargained for. They are both very strong, very intelligent people."
Chakotay shrugged. "You want to finish reports or do you want to do
lunch?"

"Lunch."


And so the afternoon went. As we sat in the mess, B'Elanna and Harry
joined us. With Chakotay sitting beside me I could smile at them.

"We should be getting to the planet tomorrow evening, Chakotay,"
B'Elanna said. "What do you want to do?"

"After looking at some reports and reviewing some records, I think
we're pretty much okay on most of our supplies. So basically, I plan
to put them down and then start for the Alpha. How are the new power
sources working?"

"Very well. in fact, it took me a day to get them installed but we
are at a higher power percentage than we have been at in a long
time."

"Can we replace those as we need to?"

"Yes, easier than we could the gel packs."

Later, Chakotay and I split up. I went to my quarters. I knew we
still had to straighten all this out, but we had a good start. I
scanned my computer terminal, cleaned up a little and then got ready
to go work on... reports. I sighed as I walked out into the corridor
to the turbolift.

I had the unfortunate luck to get on with Dalby.

"So, let me see if I got this straight. To be a first officer, you
have to be willing to fuck the Captain? Or is it you get to be first
officer if you fuck the Captain."

"Shut up, Dalby."

I wondered if we could dump him on the planet too.

"So, I've heard Chakotay is good in the bedroom, real strong. You
like taking his cock, Paris?"

Now that made me mad. I just kept my mouth shut.

"Maybe if you and I got it on - I could be Captain. You got a
reasonable ass. I could do you."

"You touch me Dalby and I'll kill you."

"Ah, ah. Remember the regs, Paris. You fight, you go to the brig."

My eyes narrowed, but I couldn't believe it when the fool actually
reached out for me.

"Tell Chakotay, and I'll say you're just back to your old whoring
ways. Everyone knows you can't be trusted to keep it zipped up, Paris.
Isn't that why Janeway put you off, because you're a fucking
whore."

The next minute Dalby was laying on the floor of the turbo lift, his
nose bleeding profusely and my right hand hurt. However, I felt better
than I had in months. I calmly stepped off the turbolift and went to
my office.

I sat at the desk and was about to hit my comm badge when Chakotay
beeped me.

"You want to tell me why Dalby just brought you up on charges for
assault and battery."

"Because I just nailed him in the turbo lift for putting his hands on
me and calling me a whore."

Come to my ready room."

"On my way, Captain."

I stood there with Chakotay, Tuvok and Chakotay and told my side of
it. Dalby made the stupid mistake of jumping up and saying,

"Come on, Captain. You believe him? I don't think there isn't a
person on board he hasn't fucked."

"Wrong Dalby, I haven't fucked you."

"You're a whore, Paris. That's why Janeway put you off. You've fucked
your way to first officer. I bet you even did Janeway in this...."

Anything else crewman Dalby had to say was silenced as Chakotay swung
him into the bulkhead. Dalby wisely decided to be silent as Chakotay
snarled at him.

"Add Crewman Dalby to the list of people to be transported down to
the surface, Tuvok. Erase his voice recognition and put him in the
brig with the others."

"Aye, Captain."

"No, Cap. Don't put me off with them."

"You know the rules. Dalby. I don't put up with shit like that.
You're being put off."

"Shit, Cap, maybe in the Alpha, but not out here with them. Please,
the two most frigid bitches on board and Vorick?! That's cruel and
unusual."

"Should have thought of that before you made false allegations,"
Chakotay growled and then pushed him at Tuvok.

When it was only him and me in there, Chakotay looked at me and
smiled. I however didn't return the smile.

"What's wrong, Tom?"

"I don't need you protecting me like that."

He stiffened up for a minute, then sat at his desk. "Tom, let's go
back to the Crazy Horse for a minute. If you made a false allegation
to me, what was the punishment?"

"You got beat up or put off."

"Beating Dalby for what he did would only have reinforced what you
just said. Dalby's been a pain in the ass since day one, but I'm using
him to set an example. He put his hands on you, made false allegations
and basically is a sorry son of a bitch, so he is off my ship."

"You sure that's why?"

"Yep. Now if you want to take a shot at him, I can arrange that."

"No. Dalby has been one of the biggest problems I've had."

"Good, the chain of command has been restored."

Towards the end of the next night's shift, Tuvok, Tom and I sat in my
ready room.

"Tuvok?"

"All the preparations are in order. We have scanned the planet
thoroughly, there are no unusual tectonic activities, the temperatures
are well within normal, the area we have chosen is the best terrain
available. I have checked and rechecked all of the supplies. They are
as prepared as they could be for this situation."

"What about weapons for protecting themselves?"

"They have 4 phasers among them, with a hand held recharger. With
prudent use, it could last them up to 12 months. Assuming they work
towards the survival of the group and set up the supplies we have
left, they shouldn't have any problems."

"Is there any way for them to make contact with anyone off world?"
Tom asked.

"Yes, if they decided to do so, they could contact a ship in orbit or
close by. However, we have not made it an easy accomplishment. It
would take a large portion of their power to be able to do so."

Tom looked at me seriously. "They could contact the Kazon and tell
them what we're doing."

That was something I hadn't wanted to think about. Kathryn Janeway in
league with the Kazon, that was more frightening than Seska. I looked
at Tuvok.

"I don't see how we can prevent it, Captain. The basics components
are there as part of the usual survival gear."

"What if we took their comm badges," I suggested.

"The hardware is also in a large portion of the equipment. The comm
badges would almost be secondary to put a transponder together."

I thought about that for a while. "Would we endanger their lives
unnecessarily by removing those specific components?"

"In my opinion, yes. They only have approximately 4 months to the
seasonal change. For their survival they must start planting
immediately, and to take some of the technology that contains the
components would include some of the farming equipment as well."

"What's the most vital part they have to have, Tuvok?" Tom asked.

"The generator."

"I mean besides power. The components that they have to have."

"That would be the universal translator in.... That would be
feasible. All of the equipment has translators, but it can be hand
programmed as well. I will see to it."

Tuvok stood up and left my ready room. I leaned back in my chair and
rubbed my forehead.

"You okay, Chak?"

"Fine, just forgot about the headaches this shit brought on."

Tom came up behind me and began to rub my shoulders. I sighed
loudly.

"That is so good, Tom."

"I know something that's better."

I smiled as I remembered the night before. "Wild, monkey sex. I need
to remember that phrase. Was it monkey sex because of the noises we
were making or because of the positions?" Sometimes Tom's terminology
confused me.

"Both, big man, both." He leaned over and kissed me.

"I want you to know, it has been a long time since I let someone else
take the top with me."

"I never would have guessed, Chakotay."

I tried to swat him, but he deftly moved out of the way, with a wide
grin.

"Come on, I need to talk to the crew." I got up and headed for the
door.

"Hey Chak, have you thought of asking if anyone else wants to
stay?"

"I didn't really think anyone else would want to. Have you heard of
anyone else?"

Tom sat with one hip on my desk. "No, I just thought you might want
to ask."

"Why?"

"Well, if someone is unhappy, wouldn't you want to not only give them
the chance to get off, but also weed out any malcontents at the same
time."

"That's not a bad idea. Can you think of anyone who would want to
stay?"

"No, not really. Maybe Neelix."

"Neelix?"

"He's always been a little sweet on her and besides, this place is
heaven to him. Think of all the Leola root."

"I'd rather not." I sat down in the chair by the desk. Neelix. I
really didn't want to lose him. I'd gotten pretty fond of the little
Talaxian, not particularly his cooking, but he served an important
part on Voyager. Then again so did Seven and Vorick. The thing with
Seven was really starting to get to me.

"Do you think Seven is dangerous to us?"

"No, I think...I think she wants to belong somewhere and feel what
she felt with the Borg, and the only way she thinks she can accomplish
that is through a bonding with Vorick."

I looked up at Tom. "What about someone like Tuvok?"

"I don't know. When's Tuvok set to enter Ponn Far?"

"I don't know, and I don't know if that would be an acceptable
solution to Tuvok."

"Have you thought about asking him?"

I hit my comm badge. "Tuvok when you have a minute, come back to my
ready room."

When the tall Vulcan came in. Tom and I had talked about how to
approach him on this subject.

"Tuvok, what do you think about the idea of Vorick and Seven."

"I am not pleased that Kathryn would use something like that to
manipulate them."

"You think Vorick is being manipulated?" I asked.

"To a degree. But I also believe that putting Vorick off is the best
possible solution. He and Commander Paris will be adversarial and he
will re-enter the burning, soon."

"What about Seven?" Tom asked.

"I am not at all comfortable with that situation."

"Tuvok would you find Seven to be an acceptable mate?" I asked.

The Vulcan was quiet for a moment. Then he looked me directly in the
eye. "Yes."

"Do you think Seven could be trusted to rejoin the crew?"

"Yes, and if I were to bond with her, any thoughts that might be
considered dangerous would be easily discerned."

"How much longer before you..."

"I could form a link with her now if that is an issue."

"I don't want to force you to do this."

"It is not a matter of force, Captain. I had considered the
possibility for some time. I also thought changing your mind regarding
her involvement in your slavery would not be possible."

"Don't ever do that again," I said sharply. "Tuvok, I value your
opinion. If you have an idea, bring it to me."

He nodded in a stately fashion.

"I guess we're going to sickbay again," Tom pointed out.

"Yep."

This time when she appeared, she went to parade rest.

"How can I be of assistance this time, Captain?"

"Do you want to leave Voyager?" I asked bluntly.

"No, but I do not wish to be alone either, therefore, I will leave
Voyager."

"What if we could provide an alternate solution?"

"I would listen to your proposal."

"Tuvok," I said and Tom and I left the room.

"I hope this works. We have more Borg technology on this ship than I
care to think about." Tom said, when we cleared the doors.

"That's true."

A few moments later, Tuvok came into the hall.

"She is agreeable to both a mind meld and a link being established
between us until I enter my cycle." He looked directly at me.
"Captain, I would like both you, the EMH and Commander Paris present
while I initiate a mind meld."

"I was going to insist."

---

Two hours later, I opened visual communications across the ship.

"May I have your attention please. Since most of you are aware of the
situation, I'm not going into great detail in this matter. Kathryn
Janeway has been accused and admitted her own guilt regarding her
violation of several Starfleet regulations. The first is attempted
murder, the second is disregarding the welfare of her crew and
intentionally putting her crew in harm's way in a attempt to further
her own personal goals, and the third is actively participating in
slavery.

"There are several different punishments that could be handed down
for these crimes. I have decided that a broad application of one will
suffice in this situation. I could have the former Captain of this
vessel court martialed and stripped of rank and ejected from
Starfleet, and that is basically what I am doing. Kathryn Janeway will
be put off this vessel onto the planet we are now orbiting with enough
equipment to see to her needs indefinitely if she applies herself.

"In regards to Vorick. He has been charged with attempted mutiny,
insurrection and attempting to use Starfleet equipment for his own
benefit. He is also being put off with Kathryn Janeway.

"The final matter is Ken Dalby. Crewman Dalby filed false charges
against another crew member, and put his hands on another crew member
in an unwanted fashion. I have discovered this is not the first time
Crewman Dalby has done this and under the circumstance, I have decided
that he too will be put off on this planet.

In regards to Seven of Nine. It has come to my attention that she was
manipulated by Kathryn Janeway. She was manipulated to the point that
I do not feel her actions were freely made, therefore, with certain
provisos, Seven will remain on board Voyager.

"Now, I am making an offer to the crew. I know this situation has
been unsettling and, perhaps to some of you, unwanted. The facts are
these. I am the Captain of this vessel. I will do my best to get us
back to the Alpha Quadrant in the way I see best. That may not be the
Starfleet way. Therefore, I am making this offer: if you do not wish
to continue on this Voyage, contact myself, Commander Paris or
Commander Tuvok. You will not be harmed in any way, shape or form. You
will receive the necessary supplies. You do not have to stay where we
put you down, it's just Mr. Tuvok believes that location to be best.
There are files regarding the planet, supplies that you would
receive.

"If you aren't sure, I ask that you think long and hard about this
decision. Talk to other members of the crew. You know that I am a fair
man. I am a good Captain. Again, if you have any questions, my door is
open. We will be leaving orbit tomorrow morning. Until then contact
with the surface will not occur. You have until we leave orbit to make
your decision. If you are on board when we leave, I will expect 100%
from each of you, so that all of us can get home.

"Chakotay out." I looked at Tom and Tuvok.

Tom nodded.

"A wise decision, Captain."

"I hope so. Let me know if you hear of anything."

That evening, my door chime rang.

"Come," I called looking at Tom. He shrugged.

"Ch..Captain," Neelix said quietly, as he entered my quarters.
"Commander Paris."

"Please, Neelix, I have always been Tom to you."

"Uh, thank you." He turned to me. "Captain, I wish to request being
beamed down with the...with Kathryn."

"Are you sure, Neelix?"

He studied the carpet for a moment. "I don't want her stuck down
there with those two men."

"You should think about those two men, Neelix," Tom said quietly.
"She chose one of them to do her dirty work."

That took a little wind out of his sail.

"Did she talk to you about her plan, Neelix?" I asked watching him
closely. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, Captain, thank you. And no, she didn't tell me about the plan,
and if she had, I wouldn't have gone along with it."

"Neelix, I know you like Kathryn, but I want to tell you some things
that you may not be aware of. If your decision stands, I won't argue
anymore. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes."

I told him the truth about what she had done to Tom and me. The world
she had left us on and her words in the brig. It's hard to tell
whether a Talaxian is pale or not, but I could tell, he didn't know
the whole story.

"I can have Seven verify most of what I've said."

"No, Captain, that won't be necessary. She really sold you for
supplies?"

"She sold us to a culture that used men as slaves for their personal
enjoyment. Tom and I both had to have surgery to remove the control
devices from us. And she knew that. She called Tom a whore."

"I'm sorry, Tom. I know you had respect for her."

"That's why we want you to think, Neelix. She isn't who you thought
she was."

"I believe you may be right. I withdraw my request, Captain."

I tried not to smile, but nodded. "You have until tomorrow Neelix.
Think about it."

The little Talaxian left and Tom and I looked at each other and
sighed.

"They should be about finished down there," Tom said. We had shuttled
the supplies down due to the amount of stuff. Batehart was flying with
Greg seeing to the set up.

"Yeah," I said looking out the viewport. "Tom, what do you think
about me facing her one more time?"

"I think you would be trying to prove something to yourself, and I
think it's pretty stupid."

I tensed at that word. "Stupid?"

"Stupid. It's like when I was being transferred from Starfleet to
Auckland. I wanted to see my father one more time to prove to him, I
wasn't the failure he thought I was. Just one last chance."

I thought about how bad it would be to not have your father approve
of you. My father, although we didn't see eye to eye, I knew he
respected me and my decisions, he understood them. He loved me. I was
pretty sure Tom had never experienced that approval.

"He came. He came just before I was transferred. He came when I was
in full body shackles and under an armed guard. When he walked in,
Chak...When he walked in, I knew there was nothing I could say that
would ever change his mind. Tom Paris was no longer his son. Tom Paris
was not worth his time. Tom Paris was an embarrassment to him. It's
the exact same thing with Janeway. She won't change her opinion. Don't
put yourself through the same hell I put myself through."

He came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I leaned back
into his narrow frame. He met my eyes in the reflection, and between
the view and the tremor in his voice, I knew I wouldn't go. He wrapped
his arms around me.

"Chak, I wanted to know why I was never good enough for him. No
matter how good I was, how good I did, it wasn't enough, and that is
the same thing you'll find out. It isn't you, it's her. Don't let her
hurt you again. Don't let her rip you apart again. I know she can do
it. I know she will do it." His lips touched my cheek.

I turned and kissed him, holding him close. "You're right. I won't."

---

The three of them appeared on the planet. We had beamed down a
communicator.

"Kathryn, Vorick, Dalby," I said firmly. "You have been charged and
found guilty of several charges. Your punishment is this. You have
enough supplies individually and as a group to survive the first
season, after that, it's up to you."

"Chakotay, you sorry son of a bitch. You can't do this. I am the
Captain of that vessel."

"No, Kathryn, I am the Captain of this vessel. You have been stripped
of rank, you actions logged and sealed by the security officer, so if
we ever make it back to the Alpha our actions will be reviewed. We
followed your beloved regs on this one."

"Where is Seven?" Vorick asked angrily.

"In reviewing Seven's actions, we deemed she was manipulated and
therefore has received another sentence."

"EMH to the Captain."

I turned from the screen. "Chakotay here."

"In doing my final examinations of the people being beamed down, it
appears that Vorick was much closer to his cycling than I thought."

"How close?" I asked looking at Tuvok.

"Already entering it. His hormone levels will cause..."

That was when I heard a scream from the communications port. I looked
and watched amazed as Vorick went...insane. He slapped Kathryn to the
ground, and I could tell from how she hit the ground, she was
unconscious. He turned and had Dalby pinned against a tree, his hands
digging into Dalby's face.

"No, get out of my head," Dalby screamed.

"Tuvok?" I said, standing up.

"There is nothing you can do at this point in time. Vorick being the
only Vulcan male present will deal with anyone he considers a
challenge."

We all turned back to the screen as Dalby collapsed to a Vulcan
shoulder pinch. Then Vorick screamed, and turned to Kathryn. He moved
to her side, and touched her face. It was with a sick amazement as I
watched another mind meld take place.

"What's he doing, Tuvok?" Tom asked.

"It is my opinion, that Vorick is violating every known Vulcan law of
privacy and linking with Kathryn Janeway and Ken Dalby by force."

"And that will do what?" I asked, as Vorick's fingers shifted and
Kathryn twitched. Her eyes came open and although there was nothing
she could do, I saw the terror in her eyes. Then Vorick began to rip
her clothes from her. It was at that moment, I cut the transmission.

Everyone sat there stunned, myself included. People turned to me.

"I...why didn't anyone...What in the fuck just happened?"

"With an aborted breeding cycle, the next cycling is usually
unpredictable and...very violent."

"Will he kill them?"

"It would be prudent, to monitor life signs. We can beam the EMH down
if we need to."

"How long until this is over?"

"Approximately a week."

---

For a week we waited. Although Kathryn and Dalby were both weak and,
in fact, hurt, Vorick proved to be an apt medic, even through the haze
of Ponn Far. At the end of the week, I conferred with the Doctor.

"None of them is in any danger of death. Vorick has tended to their
injuries in an adequate fashion. However, he does seem to be taking
better care of Dalby than Janeway."

I know my jaw almost hit the deck. Tom started snickering, until I
slapped him in the arm.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you think you are the only male to find a male attractive,
Captain?" The EMH asked.

I blinked. I was shocked, and then I looked at Tuvok, and he raised
an eyebrow at me.

"It would appear that Kathryn is...second wife."

That poker face came back into play as Tom started laughing whole
heartedly.

"What may be more pertinent is the fact that Captain Chakotay is not
the only person on board who stopped taking their contraceptive
shots."

"Oh no, you aren't telling me that..."

"Kathryn Janeway is pregnant."

---

The End