The BLTS Archive- Till Death Do Us Part by JBTrek2001 (jbtrek2001@yahoo.com) --- Feedback welcome. Archive: Yes, please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount owns Trip, Archer and the rest, but I don't think they would ever have the courage to make an episode out of this story. Authors Note: I know, this looks like a death fic, but it really isn't. Trust me. Hang on until the end and you'll see. Also minor spoilers for Silent Enemy and Cold Front. --- Jonathan Archer was dead. Even though the thought slammed into Trip Tucker again and again, the words held no meaning for him. How the hell could Johnny be dead? He was the captain for god's sake. He was invincible. Nothing could ever take out Jonathan Archer. Nothing. But something had. That was the reality that ran underneath Trip's conscious denial. Less than two hours ago Johnny had been taken from Trip. He knew it, but he hadn't been able to accept it. Not yet. The shock was too strong. Even so, the truth began to sneak past his defenses. Began to worm it's way into the forefront of his mind. The captain was gone. Really and forever lost. So what? Trip asked himself, almost savagely. Johnny was an explorer. They all were. They all knew the risks when they signed on for this mission, and Trip knew that Johnny wouldn't have changed a thing, even if he knew how he was gonna end up. Trip should take comfort in the fact that Johnny died doing what he loved, but now that the time had come, now that the captain was really gone, that solace was no brunt at all to the wall of pain that suddenly overwhelmed him. Johnny was dead and that was all that mattered. A part of Trip wanted collapse where he was, damn it to hell the fact that he was in one of Enterprise's very public corridors. He wanted to curl up into a little tight ball and sob out all the pain that was filling his heart, but Trip couldn't allow himself to indulge his emotions just yet. He was still on duty and there was work to do. Tucker told himself to get it together and headed for the turbo lift. He was due on the bridge. --- The situation room was filled with shocked officers. Even T'Pol, although she would be loath to admit it, was impacted by the sudden loss of the captain. Not for the first time the sub-commander was relieved that she had been born a Vulcan. It was a distinct advantage, at times like these, to be unencumbered by excess sentiment. Unlike the others, she was able to push grief aside and concentrate on the situation logically, which was something a crew full of emotionally charged people needed right now. Her demeanor projected an aura of calmness, which was reflected by the officers around her, and for once Malcolm Reed was grateful to have her nearby. It made it easier to give his report. "We are on full alert, but there is no further sign of the alien vessel. It looks like they fled the area after the attack." T'Pol nodded. Enterprise had been assaulted by a similar ship a few months before. They had never been able to discover the identity of this silent enemy, but with improvements made to their phase canons they thought they had run them off for good. That was until today. Enterprise was investigating the trailing edge of a plasma cloud when they received Jonathan Archer's distress call. The captain was on the other side of the cloud taking readings inside a shuttlepod when the marauder returned again. Enterprise rushed to the rescue, but it was too late. They arrived just in time to see the pod blown to bits by enemy fire. "How are the recovery efforts coming?" T'Pol had been going to ask Commander Tucker this question, but she immediately saw that the commander was in no shape to discuss such things. He was trying his best to project an aura of professionalism, but he was deathly pale and wavered slightly on his feet. T'Pol knew that Tucker and the captain had been close friends, so she decided to spare the commander any more additional trauma caused by her inquiry and asked Lieutenant Reed instead. "Not well." The armory officer answered. "Confidentially there isn't much left to recover. The blast completely obliterated the ship." Trip closed his eyes at the news, delivered straight and swift. Just like a shot to his heart. He barely heard Reed finish his report. "We are scouring the area and beaming aboard any debris that we find. T'Pol nodded at Reed and turned her attention to Phlox. "Doctor?" "There's no chance of recovering an intact body of course." The doctor reported briskly, fighting to maintain a clinical air. "However, I am hopeful that we can recover enough of the captain's remains to return something to his family. Trip couldn't help it, he let out a small groan. He couldn't take much more of this. T'Pol heard it of course, but chose to ignore it and moved on. "I've been in contact with Starfleet command and they have placed me in temporary command until they decide on a course of action. I will keep you all informed on the investigation's progress, until then you are dismissed. T'Pol made to leave when Trip shook himself out of his stupor and spoke up. "Before we break this meetin' up I have somethin' to add." T'Pol raised an eyebrow. Tucker was barely holding himself together and she was sure that he would be anxious to leave, yet here he was, dragging this dreadful meeting out. Tucker's news must be terribly important for him to continue to endure company when T'Pol was sure that the engineer would prefer to be left alone at this troubling time. "Commander?" "There's somethin' that you've all gotta know." Trip hesitated. It was hard to keep his rampaging feelings in check, but he had to keep control. Telling them this next part was gonna be hard enough without him losing it. "Johnny kept somethin' from the brass at Starfleet. Somethin' important." Malcolm started for a moment at the sound of Trip addressing the captain by his first name. As far as he knew the engineer had always referred to Archer as captain, or cap'n as the rank was mangled by Trip's delightful southern accent. Malcolm couldn't ever remember hearing the engineer address the captain by his first name before. How odd that he was doing it now. "Johnny didn't want anyone to know this while he was alive," Trip continued, "but now that he's dead... well, it's all gonna come out as soon as Starfleet reads Johnny's will, but you're the crew. You should hear it from me." "Hear what, Commander?" Travis quietly asked. Almost afraid to hear something so personal that Starfleet's number one captain didn't feel comfortable sharing it with his superiors. Trip wasn't sure how to put it. He had kept this secret for so long it seemed strange to be able to tell it now, but he had no choice. The crew had to know. "Johnny and I were married." "What!" "They were married?" "How could that be?" The shocked exclamations flowed right through the room. Finally Reed was able to get a coherent question out. "Married? For how long?" "Almost five years now." "Five years?" If lightning burst through Enterprise and struck the armory officer down then and there Reed couldn't have been more stunned. There had been no signs, absolutely none that the captain and commander meant more to each other than just being close friends... but to be actually married... and for such a long time. That made them the most discrete couple that Malcolm had ever known. Reed felt a tug of betrayal that his senior officers didn't trust him with this. "Why didn't you tell us this before, Commander? Surely you both know how much this crew respects you and the captain. We would be happy to know of such a match, so why did you go to such lengths to keep your marriage a secret?" Trip heard the trace of resentment in Reed's voice and understood the cause. "It wasn't the crew we were hidin' from, Lieutenant. We knew you all would accept us, but Starfleet command wouldn't be as understandin'." Hoshi immediately understood. "It's because of 318, isn't it?" Trip nodded. 318. The Starfleet regulation that forbid an officer of a higher rank from associating with an officer from a lower one. "That's it exactly. 318 is a good rule to protect the juniors from unwanted advances from a superior, but it's kinda hard on consentin' couples, an' for the record, I want you all to know that we didn't violate 318 while we were on board this ship." That answered one of Mayweather's questions. Growing up on a starship, there was one thing that he learned early. There were no secrets. Everybody knew everybody else's business and Enterprise was no different. Travis had wondered how the couple was able to keep their nocturnal activities quiet, but obviously there weren't any activities. They must have refrained from having sex for the good of the mission. For the good of the crew. Travis raised his estimation of the captain and the engineer up a notch from it's all ready high level. Holding back must have been painful, but not as painful for Trip as the present was now, Mayweather saw. Trip ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He knew that he had shocked the staff with his revelation, and it was hard, so hard to talk about his personal life out in the open like this, but he had to. He owed it to them. "Johnny an' I fell in love a long time ago. We didn't have to make our relationship formal. We coulda gone on bein' lovers, like a lot of couples do, but after I nearly died on Titan it really hit home just how dangerous workin' in space could be. We decided to make it official in case one of us was killed while doin' our duty." "That way the other would be protected?" Hoshi asked. Trip nodded. "Technically Johnny was the only one violatin' the regulation since he was the higher rankin' officer. So I made Johnny the executor of my estate. If I died first then he would have the option of revealin' our marriage or not, dependin' on the circumstances, but since he died first..." Trip couldn't help it, his voice broke. The others could clearly see his pain as he struggled to compose himself. "Since he died first, our marriage is gonna come out in his will." Reed caught on. "So that way Starfleet will know that you are the beneficiary of all of the captain's death benefits and insurance because you're the captain's spouse?" Trip nodded. "That's why Johnny wanted to get hitched. To make sure that I'd get all the legal benefits that are due me, but that's not why I wanted to do it." Trip was beginning to lose control now and a few tears began to fall. "I couldn't stand the thought of people thinkin' we were just friends. Then no one would know what a big impact his death is havin' on me. No one would know how much this hurts. Jonathan Archer was the love of my life an' now he's gone. People gotta know..." It got to be too much. Trip was barely able to make his excuses before rushing off to grieve alone, leaving a stunned command crew in his wake. --- Trip ran blindly through the corridors, then stopped to catch his breath. After looking around to make sure that he was alone, Trip reached around his neck and pulled a chain out from under his shirt. Dangling at the end was a gold wedding band. Trip couldn't wear the ring on his finger during his marriage, so he wore it on a chain next to his heart, but now there were no restrictions. He broke the chain and put the ring on the third finger of his left hand. With the ring finally where it belonged, Trip wandered to his quarters, wondering how he was going to make it through the rest of his life alone. --- It only took a few minutes to made it to the safe haven of his room, but even when Trip finally had the privacy he craved to indulge his grief, he found that he couldn't cry. His tears were all dried up, and all he could do was sit there, numb, trapped in a feeling of total despair. Tucker lost track of time. It could have been hours later, or only a few minutes, when suddenly he was struck by an impulse. He rooted through the bottom of his closet, then came up with a photograph. Tucker blew the dust off of the frame and then took the picture with him as he settled into his favorite chair. He had just gotten comfortable when he heard the bell announcing the presence of someone at his door. At first Tucker was going to refuse to acknowledge the caller, but then the engineer realized that he might as well have some company. Sitting in here alone was doing him no damn good. Malcolm was somewhat surprised when he heard the call to enter. He wasn't sure if Trip wanted company or not, but Tucker was a good friend to Reed, and Malcolm wanted him to know that the engineer wasn't alone. Trip managed to flash Reed a wan smile before looking back down at the picture in his hands. Malcolm peered forward and could see that it was a photo of the captain with his arm wrapped around Trip's shoulders. It was an intimate pose, one Reed had never seen before. "That's a handsome photo." "It is, isn't it? We had this taken on our honeymoon in Maui." Trip ran his fingers over the picture. As if touching it would bring him closer to the memory it evoked. "I couldn't show this off in public, so I stashed it in the bottom of my closet for safe keepin'." When Trip lifted his hand to stroke the photo, Reed's eye caught a glint of gold. "Apparently that wasn't the only thing you were forced to keep hidden." Reed gestured to the ring now prominently displayed on Trip's finger. "Yeah." Trip ran his finger over the ring's smooth, gold surface. "Funny, this is the symbol of my marriage to Jonathan Archer an' the only time I can wear it is when my marriage is legally dissolved." Trip's voice thickened. "Till death do us part." The tragic wedding vow hung in the air and the long awaited tears began to finally fall. "Oh, God." Trip began to sob. "He's really dead, isn't he? Johnny's really gone?" As an answer Malcolm took the grieving engineer into his arms and began to rock him back and forth. "Go ahead and cry." Malcolm whispered into Trip's ear. "Let it all out. It's all right to cry now." And cry Trip did. For what seemed like hours, Trip let out all the anguish that was locked up in his soul. --- The next day dawned and Trip felt slightly better. It had been good for him to lose control like that, and Malcolm's touching concern helped ease his sorrow just a little bit. Trip still found that he was crying off and on, but he was able to pull himself together long enough to talk to Admiral Forrest when he called. "Hey, there Admiral." Trip greeted his superior officer. "I've been expectin' to hear from you." "I imagine that you have." The admiral looked shocked, although Trip couldn't tell if he was more shocked by Archer's death, or the contents of his will. "Is it really true?" Apparently it was the will. "That we were married for five years," Trip clarified. "Yes sir." "My, God." Forrest sat back, floored. "I thought I knew everything there was to know about Jonathan Archer... but married! I had no idea." "Well, we worked hard to keep it that way, sir." "Because of 318?" "Yes, sir." "Damn." Forrest whispered, almost to himself. "I knew that John had a mind of his own, and he wasn't above going his own way if he thought the situation warranted it, but to keep such a secret for five years!" Forrest just couldn't believe it. "He did it to protect me." Trip said. "I know Johnny was 'Mr. Gung Ho' if he hadta put his own neck on the line, but he was a little more cautious when it came to others." "Still," Forrest countered. "You think you know someone, then you find out something like this..." Forest quit talking to himself and started talking directly to Trip. "This revelation has rocked Starfleet Command." "As it should." Tucker hitched his chair closer. "Listen, Admiral. I'm not the one to tell ya what to do here, but I think you should know that there are lots of couples like Johnny an' me out there who were forced to go underground because of 318." Forrest was about to interrupt, but Tucker stopped him with a wave of his hand. "Now I understand that it's very important to protect the juniors from unwanted advances from their superiors, but we have to have some sort of alternative for consentin' couples, especially now." "Now?" Forrest asked. Trip hesitated. Not sure how to put it. "Admiral, you've got eighty one..." Realizing the count wasn't right anymore, Trip fought to keep his sadness out of his voice and tried again. "Eighty human bein's tossed together in a starship hundreds of light years away from earth. Now while we're all thrilled to be out here, mind you, still it gets awful lonely sometimes. It's not like we've got a lot of humans to associate with. All we've got is each other, an' it's not fair to expect people to suppress their natural feelin's for one another." Forrest thought seriously about Tucker's statement before he spoke. "I think you're right, Commander. If officers as honored and respected as Jonathan Archer and yourself are forced to go to such extremes to actively suppress a love strong enough to inspire a marriage, simply in order to do your exemplary duties as Starfleet officers, then perhaps we are asking too much of you." Forrest looked carefully at Tucker. "I promise you, Commander that I will bring this matter up to the review board as quickly as possible and I will do everything in my power to get 318 changed." Relieved, Trip sighed. "Thank you, Admiral." "Now." Forrest turned the conversation, with a hint of pity in his eyes. "As Captain Archer's legal spouse you are entitled to receive certain courtesies and benefits that all spouses receive upon the death of their partner. I want you to know that I am processing those benefits personally and will make sure that you receive everything you are owed without delay." "Thank you, sir." They both knew that Trip would trade all the benefits in the world for a chance to get his Johnny back, but that could never be. --- The next few days were hard for Trip to bear, but the sorrow was easier to take because he was able to share it with his friends. Trip was so glad that they knew the truth, because he was in no shape to put up any kind of front. He was wounded to his very soul and he couldn't have kept up the illusion that he was just friends with Johnny even if he wanted to. He still hadn't been able to sleep very well, or eat very much either. He was running on the ragged edge of exhaustion and he knew it, but right now there wasn't very much he could do about it. But Tucker wasn't alone. Because the crew really understood the depth of his feelings, they were truly able to help him cope with the enormity of his loss, and Trip knew that he might not have been able to survive this pain without their concern and assistance. Work helped too. Tucker kept himself busy with small tasks. Fixing a conduit here, or a faulty relay there. That day Trip found himself on the bridge, struggling with a squirrelly connector. He tried hard not to look at the captain's chair that was currently occupied by T'Pol. He didn't begrudge her promotion, it was just hard to see somebody else in that seat. He was just about finished when all hell broke loose. "A ship's appeared just off starboard!" Mayweather shouted. "Polarize the hull plating and arm weapons!" T'Pol snapped the orders instinctively, certain that the marauders had returned. "This ship isn't the same one that destroyed the shuttlepod." Reed reported. "It's of a different design." That didn't make Mayweather feel any better. "That doesn't mean it's friendly." "No it doesn't." T'Pol studied the ship intently. "Where did it come from?" The Vulcan quizzed the armory officer. "I thought our sensors showed nothing in this region of space?" "They did." Reed frantically checked his readings. "This ship must contain a cloaking device of some kind." "Are they hostile?" Reed peered at his scope closely. "They haven't armed weapons yet." Tucker watched all of this activity quietly at his post behind Malcolm's shoulder. He had put his engineering team on alert at the first sign of trouble, but there wasn't anything else he could do to help right now except keep his big mouth shut and not distract T'Pol. Not that he personally cared if he was blown to bits, then he could be with his Johnny again in the next world, but there were over eighty other people on Enterprise with full lives to live. They didn't need to be joining the angels just yet. T'Pol turned to Hoshi. "Hail them." Sato reached for a button on her panel, but before she could touch it, it beeped. "I don't have to. They're hailing us." T'Pol straightened her posture, making sure that she was ready for anything. "Open a channel." When Hoshi pushed the button Trip thought that he must have died and gone to heaven after all, because there on the view screen, right there in living color, was the smiling face of one Jonathan Archer, and the captain looked very much alive. He didn't look like he'd been blown to bits at all. There were shocked exclamations all around the room and T'Pol asked Archer if he was all right. Trip heard the voice of his not dead husband clearly say that he was, but Tucker lost track of the conversation after that. He vaguely heard Archer explain something about the Suliban being behind the attack, and that their former steward turned time traveling agent, Daniels transported Archer's butt off of the shuttlepod seconds before the explosion. Unfortunately they couldn't bring Archer back right away, something about making sure that the Suliban had really left the area. Archer went on, Trip couldn't hear anymore. A loud roar began to drown out the sound of his lover's voice. Tucker felt his knees give away, but he couldn't do anything to keep himself upright. As he fell he vaguely heard Reed shout his name. As if from a million miles away Tucker heard the armory officer call for the doctor, then everything went dark. --- Trip felt warm. Warm, snug and safe. Odd. Why the hell should he feel safe? Trip didn't open his eyes, but concentrated on the rest of his senses, letting them tell him what was going on. Trip felt softness under him instead of the hard deck plating, so he knew someone put him to bed, but he didn't hear any beeping sounds, so he knew he wasn't in sickbay. Sickbay? Why would he think he should be in sickbay? Then Trip remembered passing out on the bridge, but he couldn't remember why. Trip made himself think. He'd been very tired, that's why he passed out, but why was he tired? Then the memory of Johnny's death came to him. Damn. That's why he hadn't slept. Trip expected to be assaulted with the same, overpowering grief that had assailed him for the past week, but the agony didn't come. Why? Then Trip became aware of something else. Something other than the mattress touching him. The sensation of two long arms wrapped around him began to sink in. The arms were holding him tight. Arms? Then Trip remembered. "Oh, God!" With a start Trip's eyes flew open and he looked straight into the sleeping face of his husband. Or was he sleeping? Was Jonathan Archer asleep or dead? Alive or not? Trip was so confused, but he had to know, urgently. "Wake up!" Trip ordered, shaking the shoulder of his lover roughly. He didn't care if he was disturbing Archer or not, he had to know. "Are you alive? Tell me?" Archer woke up instantly and the first thing he saw was the tear stained face of his husband demanding to know if he was real, or merely a dream. "Oh baby." Archer crooned and started to frantically kiss Trip's tear stained face. "It's okay. Everything's okay now." "Are you alive?" Trip muttered, burying himself deeper into the arms of his lover. "Are you real?" "I'm really alive." Archer assured him. "I'm really here." "Oh, God." Finally convinced, Trip let go and sobbed, and sobbed. Archer kept muttering apologies and rocked his lover until Trip finally calmed down. Yesterday, Archer's heart fell when he saw Trip collapse. Archer knew that Trip must have gone through a hard time while he was gone, but he had no idea how hard until he saw Trip stretched out on a biobed in sickbay. The engineer was totally exhausted, and Phlox recommended that Trip sleep for several hours to recover his strength. But now Trip was wide awake. He began to frantically kiss the face of his lover, before trailing the kisses southward, down Archer's chest. He wanted to feel Archer's skin under his lips, to prove to himself that Archer was really there. When Trip fastened his lips around Archer's left nipple the captain let out a cry and Trip felt his husband quake beneath him. Oh yes indeed, Archer was very much alive. Then Trip was hit with a sudden, more urgent need. "You've gotta make love to me, now! I need to feel you inside of me. I need you to prove to me that you're really here." The engineer lay on his back and spread himself wide, offering Archer an invitation. "Okay." Archer had been expecting such a request and didn't hesitate. This was the first time that they were going to make love on Enterprise and Archer wanted the experience to be a memorable one. The captain had the lube ready and it didn't take him long to prepare himself and Trip. Then Archer took a hold of his own cock and started to stuff it into Trip's silky chute. Trip gasped when Archer, ohh so slowly entered him. It had been so long. "I thought I'd never feel this again." Trip whispered, remembering the agony of the last few days. An agony now totally replaced with pleasure. "You're going to feel this again and again, for a long time to come." Archer promised, then concentrated on the task at hand. Archer kept his thrusts slow at first. Taking his time on the in-stroke, then slowly pulling out on the backstroke, with his hand on Trip's cock, matching his actions. He wanted this to last as long as possible. Trip writhed under his touch. It felt so good to feel Archer's heavy weight on him. To feel every inch of Archer's cock buried deep within him. Trip could never let him go. This time when Archer thrust deep, Trip wrapped his legs around Archer's back and pulled his lover even deeper, clutching Archer close to him. Keeping Archer fully buried within him and refusing to allow him to pull back. "Stay!" Trip panted the demand. "I will." Archer promised, knowing full well they weren't talking just about the sex right now. "Don't leave me!" "Never again." Satisfied with the vow, Trip relished the feeling of Archer being back with him once more, then released his legs and allowed the captain to resume his thrusting. Desperate now, there was no more thought of a slow and easy fuck and Archer picked up the pace. Rapidly thrusting in and out, Archer soon felt it all welling within him, then Trip clamped his cheeks against Archer's cock and that was all it took. Archer pushed deep and came, filling Trip with his seed. That set Trip off and the engineer came, spilling himself all over Archer's hand. Panting, the two collapsed into each others arms. "So..." Archer asked. "Now do you believe that I'm alive?" "I believe." Trip didn't know how this miracle occurred, but he knew now that it really had. Johnny was back from the dead. His husband was alive. Then the implications of the situation hit him. "Oh, God!" Trip bolted straight up in bed and starred down at his lover in shock. "You really are alive!" "Yeah..." Archer was puzzled. The engineer sounded more horrified than glad. Tucker knew that Archer was confused by the tone in his voice and stumbled to explain. "It's just that... we thought you were dead." Trip waited to see if Archer would pick up on the problem, but when he didn't Trip tried again. "Starfleet thought you were dead." "Ahhh." Archer finally caught on and pointed with his right hand to the ring on Trip's left finger. "You're talking about that, aren't you." Trip nodded vigorously. "Starfleet knows about us. They know that we're married, an' that you violated 318 an'..." Trip's worries trailed off when Archer held up his left hand and Trip could see Archer's own wedding band prominently displayed on his third finger. "I had a nice long chat with Admiral Forrest while you were catching up on your beauty sleep." "An'?" Trip asked. Even though the sight of the ring was a good sign, Trip was still afraid that they were in trouble. "And..." Archer said, pulling Trip back down next to him on the bed. "The Admiral told me that they made a little alteration to the regulation." "Oh?" That sounded encouraging. "What kinda alteration?" "Well, they're keeping most of it the way it is. If an officer pushes himself on a junior then they still have a recourse." "That's good." Trip agreed, sensing that there was more there. "But..." "But if a couple were able to show proof that the relationship was a consenting one on both sides, then it's been decided that the regulation shouldn't apply to them any further." Trip felt hope began to rise. "Proof like a marriage certificate?" Archer smiled that beautiful smile that his husband just adored. "Exactly. We're married Trip. The regulation doesn't apply to us anymore." "Oh, God." Overwhelmed with joy Trip swooped down and gave his husband a kiss. "So, I guess that means that we don't have to hide anymore, do we?" "Nope. In fact, I was hoping you would want to move in here with me." Archer looked around the small room. "I know with two people living here the quarters might be a little tight..." "That's okay. The tighter the better." Trip snuggled in closer. He felt his husband's arms tighten around him, which caused the engineer to sigh with contentment. Yes indeed, tight was all right with him. --- The End