The BLTS Archive - Everything
by JanK (jan.k1@virgin.net)

---

DATE:October 31, 1998.

Disclaimer: all characters belong to Paramount. All things Star trek
belong  to Paramount. This is for fun, not profit. No copyright
infringement is intended.

---

He had told her everything.  That he used women, that it was never
more than just sex and comfort to him.

That she shouldn't look for more.

But she had kissed him tenderly then and held him close.

He'd felt her heart beating through his shirt and her breath soft
against his neck and suddenly he wanted more.  Wanted safety, wanted
intimacy, wanted ... wanted what?  He hadn't really known.

But she had been there, had held him while he wept. Had smoothed his
hair and kissed his face and he had told her, told her everything...

He had told her everything about his Father.

How he had wanted only the best for his family, but that his family
also had to be the best.  How he had struggled and sweated with the
effort of pleasing him.  How all he wanted was for his father to see
him succeed at something.  But he had never succeeded at anything.
How he was never good enough and that his father was never there
anyway.

He had told her of the time he was there for him.  How his father had
knelt before him in a cold, grey room after the enquiry  into the
accident.  How he had held his face in his hands and told him ... "All
right, it'll be all right".

And it had been a lie. All a lie.

How the second time, he had not been there, how he had ached for those
hands to hold his face . For his father to have said, this time, "all
right, it'll be all right".

But he had not come to witness his son's disgrace.

And she had pulled him closer, put her hands on the sides of his face
and looked into his eyes and said... "It's all right, it'll be all
right" and his tears had flowed.

He had told her everything.  How he had slid into the gutter. How he
reached for oblivion every night.  How nothing had mattered.

And then suddenly there had been Chakotay. Offering escape, a chance
to  fly.

He told her how he had wanted to appear as more to him than a washed
up drunk.  How he had wanted him to like him, to respect him, to
approve of him.  How his fear of rejection had pushed him to bait, to
provoke, to annoy.  Just to hide his need.

Everything, he told her everything.

How he had left her, bleeding in Chakotay's arms.  How he had flown,
desperate to raise help.  How he had fallen, but had never betrayed
them.

And she had leant down to him and brushed his lips with her own and
told him.  "Go on".

He had told her everything of his shame. Of his hatred of himself. Of
the day of his trial and how pathetic all his hopes and dreams had
seemed.

And he had told her. Told her of every moment.  When they had found
him alone, surrounded him, taunted him, hurt him, laughed at him.

And she had held him in her tight embrace, whispering in his ear.
"It's okay, it doesn't matter, you're safe now, I'm here."

He told her it all. How She had stood before him, outlined by the sun.
His redeeming angel.  How she had given him back his life among the
stars.

And she had smiled then at his smile. Had felt lifted by his
happiness.  And she had raised his face to hers and kissed him and had
asked him so softly.

"Everything?. You've told me everything?"

And she had waited, holding his gaze with hers, searching his face for
the truth, waiting.

And then he told her everything she needed to know.

"I love you," he whispered. "I've always loved you." And she held him
close.

---

The End