The BLTS Archive- Lost Time
by JanitaMB, a.k.a. Blackcat (janitamb@aol.com, blackcat66@email.com)

---

Disclaimer:  The characters are the property of Paramount.  I just
like playing with them a little.  Neither I nor Paramount are making
any money off of this story.

WARNING:  This is a C/P story, involving sex between two
men.  If this doesn't float your boat, don't read it.  Simple ain't
it?  If you are under the age of 18, leave now while you still can.

Also, I'm not very "technology oriented", so pardon my attempts at
adding technology if they don't make sense.

© 1998  JanitaMB a.k.a. BlackCat

---

Since Kes had left Voyager, Tom had become the new medical
assistant on board.  He would spend some of his off hours in
Sickbay brushing up on his medical skills, which to him, was the
most boring way to spend his time.  He would much rather be
flying Voyager, after all he was a pilot and the best one in the
quadrant.  But the Captain ordered him to work in this position
until further notice so there wasn't much he could do about the
situation.

Working with the Doc. kept him occupied.  But after a short time,
the mundane tasks in sickbay did little to keep his mind from
wandering.  Wondering about the one person he would like to
spend more time with.   He thought that by now  his feelings
would have change for his senior officer, but they hadn't.  In fact,
they were getting stronger as the days went by.   He thought to
himself, *why am I  carrying a torch for a man who wouldn't even
consider being in a relationship with me?*  After all, Tom Paris
could have anyone on the ship he wanted.  As usual, the answer to
that question came momentarily after he asked it within himself
*Only because he's the most gorgeous man you've ever laid eyes on;
only because beneath that private exterior is a man with a heart of
gold and honor, who could make you blissfully happy; only
because… *

"Mr. Paris," questioned the Doc.  "Mr. Paris!" he said attempting
to capture his attention.

"Hmm?"

"You've run that same test 3 different times.  Is there a problem?"

Tom came out of his hazy thoughts and sure enough, realized that
he had run the same test 3 times.  * Damn *  "Oh, um… sorry….I'm a
little preoccupied today…"  He said as he began
cleaning up the mess he made and quickly tried to think of a
plausible reason for his preoccupied state, in case the Doctor
questioned him.

"So it seems…." Said the holodoc, a slow, knowing grin creeping
across his face.  A smile that didn't go unnoticed by Tom.  He
decided to evade any pending questions from the Doc and said,
"Doc, I have a question for you".

"Yes Mr. Paris, what's your question?" came the reply from the
holodoc.

"Remember when I did the transwarp flight?  You said that the
reason I mutated was because by going to transwarp it somehow
activated normal evolution in my body at an excellerated rate,
right?"

"Yes, that's correct.  Why are you asking?" inquired the doctor.

"Well I've been thinking…" he said as he started a different test
running.  "Is there a way to counteract the transformation?
Without the subject being unconscious, I mean."

"I don't know.  I could work on it and see.  Thinking about
attempting the flight again?" asked the Doc. looking at Tom as if
he thought it was a reckless idea typical of him.

"Yeah, but… all right  Doc., don't give me that look."

"I don't know what you mean Mr. Paris," he quipped.

"Yes you do… that 'you're just trying to kill yourself' look.  You
give me that look every time I've nearly escape some accident."

"Gee, I wonder why?" was the sarcastic reply from the Doc.  Tom
had taken many risks … unnecessary ones in the Doc's eyes.  He
felt it was a matter of time before he did some real damage to his
body.  The ship's compliment was dwindling enough as it was.  He
knew Voyager couldn't afford to loose their best pilot.

"All right, I'll admit that I've taken some risks.  But I've been
taking them for the good of Voyager.  Besides,  I know the Captain
won't allow another transwarp flight unless we can do something about
the mutation problem," said Tom.  "So will you help me?"

The doctor took into consideration what Tom said and replied,
"Well, things have been quiet around sickbay for a while, I'll start
working on the problem and see what I come up with.  I'll keep
you informed."

"Great Doc, thanks." He said as he returned to check the results of
the tests he ran.

About an hour later he was getting a tray in the Mess Hall.  "Good,
evening Tom" said Neelix in his ever present cheery manner.

"Evening Neelix, what's on the menu today?" Tom asked while
looking at the various selections.

"Well, I've just created a wonderful Tallaxian casserole.  Would
you like to try it?"

"I think I'll pass," he said after taking a look and a whiff of
concoction before him,  "I'll just have the soup and a roll,"  It
seemed safer.  Although the casserole looked palatable, he could
smell the hot spices in it before he saw it.  He knew he'd be in
sickbay with a bad case of heartburn if he ate it.    After he got his
food he scanned the mess hall for a place to sit when he saw
Chakotay sitting alone at a table.   *What the hell,* he thought as
he went over to join him.

"May I join you Commander?"  said Tom in his most charming
voice.

"Of course, and we're off duty now, call me Chakotay" he said.

"Okay Chakotay," he said somewhat surprised but pleased.  Tom
looked at Chakotay's plate and saw that he had decided to try the
casserole.  "You know Chakotay, I always thought you were
brave, but I didn't realize you were that willing to court danger."

"Excuse me?" Chakotay asked.

"You decided to try the casserole," Tom said with a grin.

"Oh," he laughed.  "Well, it looked pretty good so I decided why
not, you only live once,"

"Like I said, a brave man," Tom responded.  Chakotay took one
bite of the casserole and as the spices began to set off a five alarm
blaze in his mouth, he grabbed for the first glass of water he could
find and gulped it down with a swiftness.  All Tom could do was
laugh.

"I'm sorry Chakotay, it's just, I've never seen anyone drink water at
warp speed before…" he managed to say while handing Chakotay
his glass of water as well.

After Chakotay downed Tom's glass of water, wiped the tears from
his eyes and was able to talk coherently, he laughed too.  "Well,
needless to say I've had enough of this stuff." He said as he pushed
his plate to the side.  "How's your soup?"

Tom took a sip of the soup and although it looked good, it tasted
like something Neelix found under a rock.  And if the main
ingredient was Leola root, he probably did.  "Oh this is
bad…really bad." he said as he pushed his plate aside.  Chakotay
chuckled.

"Well, there's no sense in us starving tonight," Chakotay said.  "I
have some extra rations, you want to get some edible food in my
quarters?"

Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing.  He actually asked him
to his quarters for dinner.  "Lead the way, " he said before
Chakotay could change his mind.  They both got up and left the
mess hall together.

Within minutes they were in  Chakotay's quarters  staring at the
replicator as if it were some new alien species.  Breaking the
silence in the room Chakotay said "Order whatever you like."

"Okay, Tomato soup with a roll and butter," he commanded,  and the
food materialized in the replicator.

"Tom, you sure that's all you want?" asked Chakotay.

"I had a big lunch earlier, so this will be fine," he lied.  Actually
he could have eaten more, but he was a bit nervous being in
Chakotay's quarters and he thought it safer to order a light meal.
Chakotay ordered some sort of leafy salad with bread, and they
both took their food to his table to eat.

They had a wonderful dinner.  Soon Tom's nervousness faded and
he was enjoying himself thoroughly.  He had never seen this side
of Chakotay and he really liked it.  He turned out to have quite a
sense of humor and seemed to find several things about his job
hilarious.  After they finished eating, they moved toward
Chakotay's sofa where he began entertaining Tom with the latest
story from engineering involving Lieutenants Vorik and Edwards.

"Well, they were suppose to fix the biofilter," Chakotay began, as
he made himself comfortable on the sofa, "however, when they
reached it in the jeffries tube, they decided to take care of some
personal business as well.  They forgot that jeffries tube 47 had an
air duct that ran out to engineering and that any sound made would
travel back there.  They entertained engineering for nearly an hour
with extremely passionate sound effects!!" Chakotay laughed.

Tom was rolling!!!  It was the funniest story he had heard in a long
time.  "Well," he began when he could speak again, "at least
someone on this ship is having a good time.  Did they fix the
biofilter?".

"Yeah, they did.  I guess they decided since they finished the job
so quickly they could engage in an extra activity." Chakotay
replied "B'Elanna had the hardest time telling me this story with a
straight face." he laughed, remembering her struggle to maintain
her composure.

"Well what happened when they came out of the jeffries tube and
back into engineering?" Tom asked still trying to stifle slowly
escaping giggles.

"B'Elanna said the engineering staff gave them a standing
ovation!!  A few of them even shouted for an encore!!" replied
Chakotay.  "She said they were mortified.  Poor Edwards.
B'Elanna said expressions flashed across her face ranging from
confusion to startling realization and then extreme embarrassment.
And Vorik couldn't even face anyone."

"Well, needless to say they probably won't do that again,"  Tom
stated beginning to laugh again.   "I'll never look at Vorik the same
again.  Hell, all Vulcan's again!"

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to reprimand them
without breaking out into hysterical fits of laughter!!" he said,
while slowly regaining his composure.

"Who would have guessed it... a spontaneous Vulcan who likes to
do it in strange places."

"Well, it's rare, but it happens." uttered Chakotay.

"Really, how would you know?" asked a very curious Tom

"I once had a Vulcan lover, and he could be very spontaneous at
times – especially if my thoughts were on the erotic side."
Chakotay confided.  "Sometimes younger Vulcan's haven't quite
mastered the technique of controlling their emotions, so
spontaneity can happen."

"Boy, you find out something new every day!!!  I never would
have pictured you with a Vulcan." Tom voiced as he ran his hand
through his blond hair.

Tom was suddenly aware that Chakotay was gazing at him.  At
first, he thought he would get lost in those beautiful brown eyes,
then he instantly felt awkward, like something was about to
happen that he wasn't quite ready for.  "Well, Chakotay it's late and
we have to…" he began when Chakotay cut him off.

"You know Tom, I've really enjoyed myself tonight, and…"
Chakotay was about to speak his mind but thought better of it.
Instead he put his hand lightly on Tom's thigh and continued with
"you're right.  We do have the alpha shift tomorrow so maybe we
should call it a night."

Chakotay didn't want him to leave.  In fact, if he had his way, Tom
would have stayed the night and let him make love to him until he
saw stars.  But he didn't want to move too quickly.  He only just
recently became aware of Tom's attraction to him during a
conversation with the Captain.  She told him during one of their
talks in her ready room not to be too hard on him  -- that  whether
he knew it or not, Tom was trying to prove himself to him for
more reasons than he thought.  When he inquired about what
reasons, her reply was "Just watch him for yourself.  You'll see."
And she gave him that "I know everything that's going on with my
crew" smile that she courts whenever she's right about something.
Chakotay followed her advice and in doing so discovered the
attraction.  What he kept hidden from everyone was that he
himself was in love with the beautiful pilot.  He was in love and
had been from the moment he first laid eyes on him.  Even when
he was angry with  him for the career he threw away, for betraying
the Maquis, for that cocky flyboy attitude he possessed, he still
loved him.  When he discovered how wrongly he had misjudged
Tom, he felt awful about how he treated him, and loved him even
more.

Chakotay's touch sent what felt like an electric volt through Tom.
He looked up and was mesmerized by Chakotay's eyes again.
Then he noticed that they lowered to gaze at his lips.  If he didn't
know any better he thought the Commander was going to move in
for a kiss.  But the next thing he knew Chakotay got up off the sofa
and started toward the door to his quarters.  Tom slowly followed
him, not really wanting to leave. He didn't know whether to feel
relieved or disappointed that nothing else would happen.   All at
once he began having visions of being kissed by the handsome
Indian, being pulled close to Chakotay's body.   "Chakotay," he
began once they got to the door to his quarters, "I had a good time
tonight too."  They both stood near the door, neither of them
wanting to say good night.  There was an awkward silence as they
stood looking at one another and then to the floor.  Then Tom said
"I'd love to…., well I thought maybe… you'd like to do this again
sometime."

"How about tomorrow night?" was Chakotay's quick response.

Tom smiled in spite of himself, at Chakotay's eagerness.  It was
nice to know that he wasn't the only one who wanted to spend time
together.   "Great!!  Only this time, let's meet in Sandrine's.  We
can have a drink, maybe play some pool?"

"Sounds good," Chakotay said as he moved closer to Tom, looking
deep into his eyes again. "I'm looking forward to it."

Tom thought his legs would turn to jello at the intense glare from
Chakotay.  If he didn't know any better, he'd swear this gorgeous
man was flirting with him.  "Yeah, me too" he said stepping closer
to the door causing it to open.  "Good night Chakotay."

"Good night Tom" said Chakotay while leaning against the wall
inside his quarters.  Tom turned and walked down the corridor as
the door closed to Chakotay's quarters.

Chakotay chuckled to himself.  The evening with Tom was
unexpected, but it went very well.  Even though he was attracted to
Tom he felt he should take it slow.  Tom wasn't known for his long
lasting relationships.  His "flyboy" reputation was well known on
the ship.  Chakotay wanted a relationship and wasn't certain he
could have one with Tom or not, but he at least wanted to give it a
try.  So for now, caution was definitely appropriate.  He put the
dirty dishes in the recycler and began to prepare for bed.

Tom thought about the evening he just spent with Chakotay.  A
man whom he had been in love with for so long he couldn't
remember when the feelings first began.  He realized some time
ago that Chakotay didn't hate him any longer.  But now, he seemed
somewhat enamored with him.  *And he was flirting with me…*
he thought, *I know flirting when I see it, I've done it enough to
know, and he was definitely flirting with me.*  Smiling to himself,
Tom realized that he finally had a chance at something he had
wanted for so long… a relationship with Chakotay.  A relationship.
That was a scary thought to Tom.  He had never been in a serious
relationship before.  Sure he had dated , but none of his prior dates
were ever considered "relationship potential".  Chakotay was
different, and he didn't want to do anything to mess it up, if it
actually happened.  This time he would do things differently.  He
didn't want to mess up what could be his only chance at happiness.

The next day's shift on the bridge was relatively uneventful.
Chakotay sat at his customary place next to the Captain, while
Tom sat at the helm flying Voyager.   Chakotay thought he looked
so good.  His golden blond hair, the way his hands moved over the
controls.  Chakotay wondered if he caressed a lover half as good as
he did the helm.

Tom seemed to be aware of the Commander's eyes on him.  He
wasn't uncomfortable by it, in fact, he was enjoying the attention.
He only wished he could sit in a position where he could watch
Chakotay for a while.

Eventually the shift was over.  Chakotay and Tom entered the
turbolift together.  Chakotay stated the destination and the lift
began to move.  "So, we still on for tonight?" he asked Tom.

"Yeah.  What time do you want to meet at Sandrine's?"

"How about 1800 hours?" Chakotay said wishing it could be
sooner.

"Sounds great!" replied Tom.  That would give him enough time to
finish up in sickbay and change out of his uniform.  The turbolift
arrived and Chakotay stepped out.  "See you at 1800" Tom said as
the lift doors clothes and he proceeded to sickbay.

At 1800 hours, Tom was standing outside the holodeck doors.  He
didn't know why but he was very nervous.  He spent the better half
of an hour trying to decide what to wear.  He kept telling himself it
wasn't a date and that what he wore wasn't important, but he
wanted to look good for Chakotay in spite of what he was telling
himself.  He decided to go very casual, wearing a white shirt and
light blue jeans.  He entered and scanned Sandrine's for any sign of
Chakotay.  He found him sitting at a table with the Captain.  Tom
didn't even know if he could speak coherently when he saw him.
Chakotay had on black jeans with a steel blue turtle-neck and a
black long sleeved jacket over that which he left unbuttoned.  He
looked incredibly sexy… black went so well with his skin tone.
He took a deep breath, swallowed and made his way toward their
table.

"Evening Captain, Chakotay…" he said when he reached their
table.   He was having trouble keeping his eyes off the handsome
commander.

"Evening Tom," said Captain Janeway.

Chakotay saw Tom when he entered the holodeck and knew it was
going to be hard not to stare at him.  He looked gorgeous.  The
scent of Tom's cologne played at Chakotay's nostrils and he
actually had to refrain from touching the beautiful pilot.  "Hey
Tom," he said as he gestured for him to sit in the seat across from
him.  He couldn't stop looking at him and he thought that Kathryn
was going to notice at any moment.  He was right.  As soon as
Tom walked to the table she could see the electricity between the
two of them, even though both seemed to be trying hard not to be
so obvious.

"Well gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll turn in early." She
said while getting up from her chair.  "Have fun." She smiled
fondly at both of them and took her leave of the holodeck.

"Was it something I said?" asked Tom playfully.

"Doubt it," answered Chakotay.  "She probably had more
interesting things to do, or she felt like she didn't want to intrude
on our date."

"Why Chakotay," Tom said with exaggerated surprise. "I didn't
know we were on a date" he teased.

"Really, and what exactly did you think it was" said Chakotay
 playing along with Tom's game.

"I thought we were two friends getting together for a drink." he
said moving closer to Chakotay.

"Right, you come here dressed like that and smelling so good,  and
it's not a date?" Chakotay replied moving closer to Tom.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Absolutely nothing.  In fact, if it weren't for the fact that
B'Elanna and Harry were still in here, I'd be touching you right
now" Chakotay said flashing Tom his charming smile.

Tom blushed at this then quickly recovered with "Well you look
incredible yourself Commander, and don't let them being here stop
you from touching me."

Tom began tracing small circles on the back of Chakotay's hand
which caused him to loose his resolve.  "You're too much, you
know that?" he said smiling and blushing.  Changing the subject
completely before their conversation got too out of hand he asked
"So you want to play pool?"

"Sure.  B'Elanna and Harry are playing now, why don't we
challenge them to a game?"

"Sounds good." replied Chakotay.

"Yeah, we may even be able to win some rations." cited Tom as
they both stood up and walked over to the pool table.  About an
hour later, they left the holodeck as undefeated pool champions.

"I wish you could have  seen the look on Harry's face when you
banked that shot!"  voiced Tom,  "He couldn't believe it!!!"

"Yeah, B'Elanna was exasperated too." Chakotay replied with a
chuckle.  "We make a pretty good team don't we?"

"You're right…we do." Tom replied, hating the fact  that the
evening was about to end. "Chakotay, are you tired?"

"No, why?"

"I have a collection of old 20th century  movies.  Some of them are
pretty good.  You want to watch one with me?"

"Actually, I'd love to." Chakotay softly replied.  Inside, he was
absolutely ecstatic that Tom invited him to his quarters.  He didn't
want the evening to end either.

They arrived at Tom's quarters and began scanning Tom's library
of movies.  Tom had a rather extensive collection.  "What's this
movie "Independence Day" about?" asked Chakotay.

"Oh, it's about how these aliens attempted to invade 20th century
earth.  I thought it was pretty entertaining."  He said.

"What about this one called 'Jeffrey'?"  asked Chakotay.

"Jeffrey is about a man who's falls in love with someone with a
fatal disease – the HIV Virus I think.  It's a combination of a
drama, and romantic comedy.  It's pretty good."

"Wasn't HIV wiped out during the 21st century?" asked Chakotay

"Yeah, but for years it baffled scientist of that era.  It actually
reached epidemic proportions.  Many people died from the
disease."

"Let's watch 'Jeffrey' first.  Then if we're not too tired, we can
watch 'Independence Day'." decided Chakotay.

Tom started the movie and they settled on the sofa to watch it.
Chakotay found himself pondering over it once it was over.

"I guess we have a tendency to take things for granted.  I would
hate having to take the time to go to sickbay once a month to
receive an injection to stop fertility.   That seems to be the only
thing we have to worry about now." Chakotay stated thoughtfully.
"We have *very* little to worry about now – medically that is,
compared to our ancestors."

"I know what you mean." Replied Tom as he turned to face
Chakotay on the sofa.  "I did some studying about the AIDS
epidemic.  It was a horrible time of our history.  When it first
began, the gay population was hit with it first, specifically, gay
men.  Many closed minded straight people thought that gays were
getting what they deserved - because they were gay.  Later many
people changed their way of thinking when straight men, women
and children became infected by the disease.  We've come a long
way in the last 300 years haven't we?"

"You're right, we have," Chakotay voiced.  "Well at least the
movie had a happy ending. Oh... was it my imagination or did the
guy that played "Sterling" look a lot like Captain Jean Luc
Picard?"

"Ever since I found this movie in the archive, I've been trying to
remember who he reminded me of.  You're right! He does look
like him doesn't he?" Tom proclaimed.  "Now I can stop racking
my brain trying to figure out why he looked so familiar."

The two men didn't even bother watching the next movie.  They
spent the rest of the evening talking.  Chakotay told him all about
his young life.  How his father always wanted to live like his
ancestors, without technology,  and rely on the spirits of the earth
to guide him through life's path.  How he couldn't wait until he was
old enough to leave that life and go to the Academy.  He longed
for adventure and technology, space exploration.

Tom told Chakotay what really happened when he got kicked out
of the Academy.  He told him how the accident occurred; how
after the investigation was done, he couldn't live with himself if he
didn't take responsibility for the deaths of the other cadets - his
friends.  He shared with him his need to fly even though they
barred him from the academy, which prompted him to join the
Maquis.  He didn't know he would get caught during his first flight
and court marshaled for treason.  He told him how disappointed
his father was in him.  How his father wanted him to be perfect
and was extremely overbearing if he weren't.  He said his father
was a good man, but he changed after he was interrogated by the
Cardassians.  He was harder, more rigid, and that was another
reason he joined the Maquis … to pay them back in his own way
for what they did to his father… his family.

"For a long time I just thought you threw away a promising career.
Some time ago I realized I had misjudged you.  I should have
apologized to you long ago for my behavior towards you."
Chakotay admitted.  "I'm sorry Tom, I didn't realize."

"I guess no one did.  I never talked about myself to anyone.  After
the incident at the Academy, I didn't have any friends." Tom said,
thinking back to the days when he first came aboard Voyager.
"The only two crew members willing to give me a chance here on
Voyager were Captain Janeway, and Harry.  It even took me a
long time to get through to B'Elanna."

Chakotay considered this beautiful young man sitting across from
him.  Tom seemed more at ease to talk than he had been before.
Chakotay was glad to see that he was finally relaxing around him.
He wanted so badly to take him in his arms and kiss him, but he
restrained, knowing it was too soon.

Tom didn't want the evening to end.  Chakotay looked so good and
he wanted to kiss him so badly he could almost feel and taste his
lips.  But he wanted to take it slow with him.  He didn't want to
mess this up, although the need to have him threatened to
overpower his resolve.  "Chakotay, have you ever wanted
something so badly that you would do anything to have it?" he
asked.

"Yes, I have" Chakotay answered looking deeply into Tom's eyes.

"Chakotay," Tom began, returning the gaze. "Why do you look at
me like that?"

"Because I..., I think you're beautiful," was Chakotay's whispered
reply.  He always did think Tom was gorgeous and recently, he'd
been getting lost in his beautiful blue eyes.  Especially when the
walls that he erected to protect his feelings were down.  He
looked at Tom now and saw *him* - not the walls.

Tom blushed and looked down at his hands. "Chakotay, you
shouldn't say things like that unless you mean it."

"What makes you think I don't mean it?" Chakotay murmured,
moving closer to and placing his hand on Tom's.

Tom looked deeply into Chakotay's brown eyes - searching for
something, anything that would counteract what he just heard.  He
could only find honesty and affection in his eyes.  "You really do
mean it don't you?"

"Tom, when you walked into Sandrine's tonight, I thought to
myself *He looks incredible!!  How am I going to keep from
touching him?*  Tom smiled while blushing over Chakotay's
statement as he continued.  "And even though I find you extremely
attractive, I care about you.   I know it may be hard for you to
believe right now, but… I care about what happens to you, what
you do, who you see, I really care deeply for you."  He moved
closer to Tom and was pleased to see he wasn't scaring the man
off.  He rested his hand on the side of Tom's face.  Tom's eyes
closed at the warmth that he felt from Chakotay - both physically
and emotionally.   Then he felt warm lips ascend on his and felt
himself being pulled closer to Chakotay's body.

Tom melted into the kiss as his lips parted allowing Chakotay's
tongue entrance.  Tom reached behind Chakotay's neck, threaded
his fingers through the soft black hair, then brought his hand down
gently caressing Chakotay's chest as the kiss deepened.  Chakotay
felt as if he were caught in the wake of a supernova, his body
being hit by shock waves of emotion as a result of holding the man
of his dreams in his arms.  He felt so good, his lips, the feel of his
arm around his waste, hand slowly traveling down his chest.  It felt
right, like they belonged together.  As they pulled apart, Chakotay
opened his eyes and looked intently at Tom.

"I'm sorry,"  Chakotay whispered, " I told myself I wouldn't do this
tonight.  I wanted to take things slow..., but you looked so good
and I feel so strongly about you…" he trailed off not knowing how
to continue.

"Don't apologize," Tom said urgently.  "I wanted it as much as
you, maybe more. Tom traced the lines of Chakotay's tattoo with
his finger, and asked "When did you realize you had feelings for
me?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" was Chakotay's reply. "I've
had feelings for you since the first time I laid eyes on you."  He
said while running his hand up and down Tom's arms and chest.
Chakotay couldn't stop touching him, almost couldn't bear the
thought of letting him go even for just a moment.

"Well you could have fooled me...."  Tom replied.  "I thought you
hated me for a long time when you first came on board Voyager."

Tom's words made Chakotay wince.  "I know, and I'm sorry.
Like I said, I really misjudged you.   I hope you can forgive me for
it..."

"I guess if I were in your shoes, I would have felt the same way.
Don't worry about it, it's in the past."  Tom  gazed at Chakotay and
a smile slowly crept across his face as he said "You know, all this
time, I had the same feelings for you that you have for me.  I wish
I had known sooner."  This time Tom leaned in to capture
Chakotay's lips.  It felt so good to kiss him…his lips were so soft,
so luscious.  He ran his tongue along Chakotay's lips and sucked
his tongue lightly when it entered his mouth, which caused a moan
to escape from Chakotay.    Tom caressed Chakotay's thigh and
felt his erection through his jeans.  He started to stroke the
hardness beneath the fabric and then thought better of it.  It was
too soon to have sex.

Chakotay apparently felt the same way.  He pulled away and said
"Tom, as much as I want to stay with you tonight, I don't think I
should.  I don't want to rush things and if I don't leave now…"

"I know what you mean Chakotay, and you're right.  Let's not rush
things.  We've got all the time in the world and I'm certainly not
going anywhere, especially now that we've found each other so to
speak." He said while tracing one of Chakotay's dark eyebrows.
Tom got up off of the sofa and started toward the door, Chakotay
right behind him holding his hand.

When they got to the door it swished opened and Chakotay
stepped outside, placing one hand against the wall.  Tom stood
inside the doorway leaning against the wall with his arms folded, a
slight grin on his face.  Neither one of them wanted to say good
night.  Tom reached a hand behind Chakotay's neck and pulled
him in for a long, sensual kiss good night, causing some gaping
looks from other crew members walking down the hall going to
their various destinations.

As the kiss ended, Chakotay looked into Tom's eyes and told him
good night.  Then he turned and walked to his quarters sporting the
biggest grin on his face anyone had ever seen on him.

Tom went back inside and leaned with his back against the wall
next to the door to his quarters.  He was so pleased at how the
evening went and he wanted so badly to spend the night with
Chakotay, but he knew it was too soon.  So he took a shower and
got ready for bed.   However, with his thoughts revolving around
Chakotay, he couldn't sleep.  Finally  after what seemed like
hours, but was actually only minutes, he couldn't stand it any
longer and commed Chakotay.  He at least needed to hear his voice
again.

"Paris to Chakotay,"

"Chakotay here, what's wrong Tom?"

"Nothing Chakotay, I… You've been on my mind.  I can't sleep."

"I know what you mean," Chakotay admitted.  His thoughts had
been completely occupied with Tom, and he slowly lost his
resolve.  After a long pause he replied,  "Tom, I know it's too
soon,… and I don't want you to think that I'm in this for a one
night stand, because I'm not,  but…"

"I'll be right there."  Tom said and the link was cut.

---

Tom made it to Chakotay's quarters in record time, dressed in the
T-shirt and sweats he usually slept in.   He didn't even bother
putting on regular clothes.  Chakotay instructed the computer to let
Tom in as soon as he appeared in front of his door.  The moment
the door opened, Tom almost ran into Chakotay's quarters, where
he was met by a warm embrace.

They stood there for a long  moment enjoying the feel of each
other.  Then Tom leaned in for a kiss that took Chakotay's breath
away.  Chakotay was wearing a navy blue robe and nothing else.
Tom quickly untied the belt to the robe and reached inside,
desperate to feel Chakotay's skin.  Chakotay, feeling the same
desperation, began helping Tom out of his pajamas, pulling the
shirt over his head, then yanking the pants down past his hips.
Tom stepped out of the pants as Chakotay let the robe slip off of
his shoulders and land on the floor.

Both were naked now and pressed against one another, each
caressing the other.  Chakotay led Tom to his bedroom and as Tom
lay back on the bed, his long thick erection against his stomach, he
settled in between his legs and lowered his head to capture Tom's
lips again.  Tom began moving underneath  Chakotay's solid body,
reveling in the feel of it.  Chakotay began kissing a wet trail from
Tom's mouth to his neck and back up to his ear, outlining  it with
his tongue.  Tom was gasping - enjoying what Chakotay was doing
to him.  Chakotay was pleased at how responsive Tom was.  He
slowly began kissing another trail down his neck to his chest,
drawing the pleasure out further, as he settled on one nipple,
licking and sucking until it was a hard nub, then proceeding to do
the same to the other.  Tom had threaded his hands through
Chakotay's hair as he said "Oh this is soooo good,  you're too good
at this Chakotay…"

"I've wanted this.., wanted you for so long," Chakotay breathed
against Tom's chest while continuing his trail down Tom's torso,
lingering at his navel with his tongue.

"Yessss, uhhhh," he moaned as he felt Chakotay's mouth envelope
his throbbing cock.  Chakotay expertly sucked him, sensually
twirling his tongue in circles around the tip.  Tom thought he
would explode from this sensation alone if it continued.  Not ready
for it to be over,  he reached down and pulled Chakotay back up to
his face where he kissed him again.  Tom wrapped his legs around
Chakotay's and rolled over on top of him capturing his hands in his
own holding them on either side of his head.  Even though
Chakotay could have easily escaped Tom's grasp, it never
occurred to him to do that.  It was at that moment that he realized
he completely trusted Tom, with his feelings, with his life.  Tom's
body was in between Chakotay's legs now and he looked deep into
Chakotay's eyes.  "I want to see you while we make love." He said,
his voice deep with desire.

"God, yes..." Chakotay murmured as Tom gazed deeply into his
eyes. As Tom loosened his grip on Chakotay's wrists, Chakotay
reached under the pillow, pulled out a tube of lubricant and handed
it to Tom.  Tom settled himself between Chakotay's legs and
lubricated his fingers.  He slowly pushed one finger into the tight
opening, then two, finally three, pushing them in and out,
gradually preparing his lover.  Chakotay was groaning constantly
now as he felt Tom's fingers entering him.  "Oh spirits Tom," his
voice dripping with desire, "I want you inside me now,  please..."
Chakotay pleaded.

"Anything to make you happy…" he murmured, desperately
wanting to be inside Chakotay.   He didn't think he would last if he
kept listening to him moan, so he withdrew his fingers, lubricated
his cock and slowly pushed inside his lover.  It started languidly,
with Tom going deeper with each thrust, until finally, he was
buried deep inside Chakotay.  For a moment neither of them
moved -  Tom feeling the startling warmth and tightness
surrounding him, Chakotay feeling the extraordinary hardness
within him.  Then gradually Tom began moving while resting his
body against Chakotay's. He nuzzled Chakotay's neck, deeply
inhaling his scent.  "Oh God, you smell wonderful..." he expressed
just before choosing what seemed to be a sensitive area of his neck
and slowly sucking the tender flesh into his mouth.  Chakotay's
reaction told him that his choice was well made, as he pushed his
body closer to him.

Chakotay was enraptured.  He didn't know whether it was the
moment, or what Tom was doing to him, or if it was just Tom, nor
did he much care, but he thought he'd never felt such pleasure
before in his life.  He wanted this feeling to stay forever... never
end.

Tom could feel Chakotay's erection against his stomach as they
moved together.  He pushed his body closer to Chakotay and after
taking his tongue around Chakotay's ear,  he stopped and looked
deep into his eyes.  They gazed into each others eyes as they
moved together.  Every nerve ending in Chakotay's body was on
alert while they were in motion, skin on skin, eyes locked on one
another.  Chakotay reached up and caressed Tom's face, his eyes
saying what his mouth couldn't.  Tom responded by kissing him
deeply, his tongue entering Chakotay's mouth easily.  Chakotay
was so close, he knew it he wouldn't last much longer.  When Tom
gently sucked Chakotay's tongue, that did it - Chakotay came so
hard he thought he saw stars, and immediately after, Tom thrust
deeply one final time and came with a roar.

After their orgasms subsided, Tom eased out of Chakotay and he
moaned from the loss.  He then lay on top of Chakotay and gently
kissed his eyes, nose and lips once more before he rolled off of
him and using a towel that was on his night stand, began to clean
them both off.  Afterward he snuggled into Chakotay's embrace.
Chakotay ran his hand through Tom's soft blond hair, and within
moments, both were sleeping soundly, feeling more comfort than
they had since their voyage first began.

---

The next morning, Harry was waiting impatiently for Tom to show
up at breakfast.  He was suppose to meet him at 0700 in his
quarters and he was already 15 minutes late.  They were going
down to the mess hall together.  He said something about trying to
attempt the transwarp flight again and he wanted to talk about it.
Harry hit his comm. badge and said, "Kim to Paris…".  No answer.
"Computer, locate Lieutenant Paris" said a somewhat irritated
Harry.

"Lieutenant Paris is in Commander Chakotay's quarters." answered
the monotone voice of the computer.

"What's he doing there? And at 7:15 in the… Computer, what time
did Lieutenant Paris enter Commander Chakotay's quarters?"

"Lieutenant Paris entered Commander Chakotay's quarters at 2330
hours."

"Last night?"  And has he been there until now?"

"Affirmative" answered the computer.

"I guess we won't be having breakfast after all." Harry uttered to
himself, a smile slowly making it's way around his face.

---

Chakotay woke up and found himself with his back against Tom.
Tom had his arms around his waist and had pulled him close.
Chakotay couldn't think of anything that felt better.  He began
caressing Tom's arms when he felt Tom nuzzle the back of his
neck.  "Morning," Tom murmured.

"Did you sleep well?" asked Chakotay while turning to face his
lover.

"Oh yes, I slept very well…" replied Tom just before he kissed
Chakotay on the lips.

Tom rolled over on top of Chakotay, continuing to kiss him, then
broke away and proceeded to kiss a slow, wet trail down his neck
and around to his ear, which left Chakotay almost speechless.

"Tom, " Chakotay sighed.

"Hmm?" Tom replied, continuing his assault on his lover.

"We uh… we shouldn't be doing this now…" whispered Chakotay

"Why?" he asked, as he began to move further down Chakotay's
chest.  "I'm here, you're here, and you look and feel so damn
good…." He uttered as he found a nipple and began sucking and
licking it until it was hard.

Chakotay's breathing began to quicken as he attempted, without
much success to form coherent sentences.  He could feel Tom
growing hard against him as he wrapped his legs around Tom's
waist and said "but we're on duty shortly…"

Tom moved to the other nipple and gave it the same attention he
gave the first. Chakotay was writhing now, and he found it
increasingly difficult to concentrate.  "well,  you're the one in
charge of the duty roster aren't you?" Tom asked. "Surely you
could arrange for us to be off duty  so I can spend the day fucking
you.." he hinted kissing a trail further down Chakotay's body.

"Damn that sounds wonderful…" Chakotay gasped as he felt
Tom's warm wet mouth surround his cock.  All thoughts
of time and duty forgotten, he began to thread his fingers in Tom's
beautiful golden hair when a comm. badge chirped.  "Lieutenant
Paris, please turn on your EMH monitor" came the voice of the
doctor.

"Shit," he muttered as he got up, wrapped the blanket around him
and went to the view screen.  "Doc, this had better be good…" he
said more than a little irritated.

"I'm sorry Mr. Paris, did I catch you at a bad time?" inquired the
Doctor.

"Yeah, so could you tell me what you want?" was his insistent
reply.  Chakotay couldn't help chuckling to himself.  He knew the
doctor was being annoying on purpose.  By now he could tell
where Tom was contacting him from.  It was his way of being
humorous, although he thought if it were possible, Tom might
attempt to scatter his molecules all over the Delta quadrant.

"As you requested, I've been working on ways to stop the mutation
process during the transwarp flight.  Would you like to hear my
findings so far?"

Tom had forgotten that he asked the doctor to do the research for
him.  "Not now.  This afternoon will be time enough to let me
know." Tom replied slowly loosing his patience.

"Okay Mr. Paris, and... tell the Commander I said good morning."
The Doctor said with a smile and cut the link.

Tom just shook his head and laughed.  Then he turned to see
Chakotay laying in the bed looking very edible, and decided he'd
pick up where he left off.  "Okay, where were we?" he said moving
in quickly to claim Chakotay's lips again.

Chakotay stopped him before he could get carried away.  "We
have bridge duty in an hour he said, and I'm hungry."  Chakotay
got out of bed and headed for the shower.

"Okay, I'll leave you along for now," Tom replied sounding defeated.

Chakotay started the shower and stepped in the warm water.  After
he lathered his entire body, he felt a slight breeze and then warm
arms encircle his waste.  Tom was standing behind him rubbing
Chakotay's wet slippery body with his hands.

"I tried to stay away, I really did, but I couldn't resist…." He
murmured in Chakotay's ear. "I want you so much…"

Tom turned Chakotay around so he was facing him and began to
reign soft kisses on his face and neck.  Then he sensually kissed
and licked  his tattoo.  "I've always wanted to do that," he
whispered as Chakotay's hands began an exploration of Tom's
body, his legs, hips, ass, chest, every part of Tom he could touch,
he did.  Chakotay kissed Tom, letting his tongue delve deep into
his lovers mouth,   before turning him around and pressing his
body against the shower wall.  Chakotay was rock hard now and
wanted to be inside so badly it hurt.  Tom must have wanted him
to be as well because he said "Chakotay, now, please…"

He then began to prepare Tom, easing one finger inside, then two,
finally three, pushing in and pulling out slowly.  Tom's moans
were enough to drive Chakotay over the edge.  Once Tom was
stretched and seemed relaxed, Chakotay gently pressed his cock
into Tom, moving slowly, with each thrust going deeper and
deeper until he was completely buried inside his lover.    They
continued to move, gradually building a rhythm as the warm water
sprayed them both, Chakotay reigning moist wet kisses down
Tom's neck and back.

"Oh yes…, so good, so good" Tom murmured over and over.
Chakotay reached around with one hand and began to pump Tom's
pulsating cock in time with his thrusts.  With his other hand, he
interlocked his fingers with Tom's as they leaned against the
shower wall for support.  Tom could feel Chakotay's hot breath
against his ear as he whispered, "You feel soooo good, oh yes… so
hot, so right, so good…"

Tom could feel himself getting close.  The sensation of Chakotay
being inside him, while whispering in his ear was more than he
could stand.  Tom saw stars with every powerful thrust Chakotay
made.  "Chakotay,  I can't … I'm gonna…"  he said gasping.

"That's right, cum for me baby,  don't hold it, you're so good, so
right, cum for me.." Chakotay repeated over and over until Tom
couldn't take it any longer.  With a strangled cry he came in
Chakotay's hand causing him to come with a roar, filling his lover
with his seed.

Tom leaned against the shower wall for a few minutes trying to
recover, with Chakotay leaning on his back attempting to do the
same.  When he was able to,  Chakotay turned Tom around to face
him.  He looked deep in to his beautiful blue eyes and said "what
was I doing the last few days with out you?"

Tom smiled and said "probably the same thing I was… thinking
about you, wishing you were mine.  Looks like we got our wish."
He said placing a hand on Chakotay's cheek.

When they finished their shower, they toweled themselves dry and
went in search of clean uniforms.  Tom didn't have time to go to
his quarters so he replicated a new one and they both left for the
Mess Hall.  Halfway there Tom remembered something.  "Oh shit,
I forgot I was suppose to have breakfast this morning with Harry.
He's probably pissed."

"Tell him it was my fault." Chakotay said grabbing his hand as
they continued down the corridor.

"Something tells me I won't have to…" he said looking down at his
and Chakotay's hands interlocked together.

Chakotay smiled and gave Tom's hand a gentle squeeze before
they entered the Mess Hall.  It was filled with more crew members
than usual for that time of the morning.  Needless to say that when
they entered together, holding hands and looking as if they just
stepped out of the shower, many heads turned although the two
officers didn't seem to notice.  Neither of them had a lot of time.
They both grabbed some coffee and were going to head straight
for the bridge, when Tom saw Harry sitting with B'Elanna at a
table.

"I've got to go apologize to Harry for missing breakfast.  I'll see
you on the bridge in a few minutes."

"Okay, don't be late though," said Chakotay, "I like watching you at
the con."  That beautiful smile graced Chakotay's face as he gave
Tom a light kiss on the lips before leaving the mess hall.

"Did you see that?" asked B'Elanna

"I told you he spent last night in Chakotay's quarters," replied
Harry.  "What did you expect?  Did you think they spent the entire
evening talking?"

"Obviously they didn't…" she ended her sentence as Tom walked
up.

"Morning guys.  Harry, sorry about missing breakfast, I was…."
He began

"I know where you were Tom," Harry said, a sheepish grin
spreading across his face, "When you didn't show up, I asked the
computer."

"I should have known," Tom replied.  "Nothing is ever kept secret
on this ship."

"So when did this all happen?" inquired Harry.

"Yeah Tom," said B'Elanna, "tell us all the details…"

"Actually we've been leading up to this for some time.  Neither
one of us knew it until last night however."  As Tom sipped his
coffee, he  observed his two friends eagerly awaiting the details of
his new relationship.  He thought about Chakotay and how he
would feel if aspects of his private life were made public to the
crew.  * No way are they going to get details.* he thought to
himself as he quickly diverted the subject.  "Maybe we can talk at
lunch about the transwarp flight.  I've got the Doc doing some
research for me on how we can counteract the effects of the flight
without the pilot being unconscious."

"Wait a minute Tom, don't go changing the subject on us… we
want to know what happened!!!" said B'Elanna

"Sorry guys, I don't kiss and tell…." Tom said in a matter of fact
way.  B'Elanna couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Don't even try it flyboy!!!" laughed B'Elanna

"Yeah!!   Since when have you become so hush-hush about your
love life with us?" inquired Harry.

"Since Chakotay."

"Ooh this must be serious," B'Elanna quipped.

"It is serious," said Tom, "Chakotay is an honorable man.  I really
want to make this work between us.  I'm not doing anything that
could possibly mess this up and that includes sharing bedroom
stories with you two so back off."  He surprised himself with that
statement, and was even more surprised to find that he meant
every word of it.    If it had been anyone else, he would have
shared the evenings events with them happily.  Chakotay was
different.  He was in love with him and that seemed to make
everything special.

"Okay, we won't ask anymore!" B'Elanna sort of agreed for
both of them.  "Well you two seem happy.  I'm glad.  You deserve
some happiness Tom."

"Yeah you do buddy."  Harry agreed.

Fifteen minutes later Harry and Tom were on the bridge.  As soon
as they stepped off the turbolift, Tom's eyes immediately met with
Chakotay's and you could almost see the electricity between them.
It certainly didn't go unnoticed by  the rest of the bridge crew,
especially Captain Janeway.   She looked from Tom to Chakotay
and back and was certain something was going on.  It was
relatively quiet on the bridge so she decided to use her rank as an
excuse to question Chakotay.  "Chakotay, may I see you in my
ready room?"

"Of course Captain," he said as he followed her to her office.  As
soon as the door closed she immediately began with her
interrogation.

"Okay Chakotay, spill it… what's going on between you and Tom?"

"What are you talking about Kathryn?" he replied attempting to
look innocent without much success.

"Oh come on, I saw the way you two looked at one another.  Either
something is going on or I'm loosing my ability to read my crew."
She said grinning.

"Well, if you must know," he began, "after Sandrine's we went to
his quarters to watch an old movie."

"And????" she said prying further for answers to her inquiring
mind.

"And we talked, and talked some more,  and then one thing led to
another and we uh…, are you really going to make me tell you all
the details?" he asked almost pleading with her not to make him
continue.

"No Chakotay, I just like watching you squirm." she grinned.  "So
you finally got what you wanted.  I'm really happy for you."

Chakotay was unaware that she even knew how he felt about Tom.
"How did you even know I…?"

"It was obvious Chakotay." She  stated as she went over to her
replicator, ordered a cup of coffee and seated herself on her sofa.
She gestured for him to join her then continued with  "Maybe not
to everyone else, but to me… , well, lets just say that  I've spent
the last 9 months watching the two of you dance around each other.
You making excuses to be close to him by checking readings at the
con, every once in a while resting your hand on his shoulder." She
took a sip of the rich coffee as she observed a sheepish grin slowly
make it's way across her first officers face.  "The way you two
converse during briefings, with Tom standing as close to you as
possible without actually touching you.  You two have found more
reasons to invade each other's personal space than I can count.  I'd
say you were pretty obvious." she voiced, taking another sip of her
coffee.

Chakotay chuckled  in spite of himself.  "I don't know why I even
thought I could hide anything from you."

"You can't.  That's why I'm the Captain." she teased.

Chakotay had been in the Captain's office for some time now and
Tom was wondering  what was going on in there.  Had the look
they shared when he walked on the bridge been so obvious that the
Captain was lecturing him on the problems that could arise with
him being involved with one of his officers?  His fears were
quickly extinguished when they came out of the Captain's ready
room,  and he took one look at his lover's face.  Chakotay gave
him a reassuring smile which let him know that everything was
fine.  He figured the Captain was just probing him for answers just
as Harry and B'Elanna had with him earlier.  Things had suddenly
got quite interesting on Voyager.  Soon the word would be out that
he and Chakotay were lovers.  He liked the sound of that.

---

Less than 24 hours  later the news had spread all over the ship that
Tom and Chakotay were the newest couple aboard.  Six months
later, they were still seeing each other, each falling deeper and
deeper in love with the other than they cared to admit.  Both,
however, had never told the other how they felt. They were still
hesitant  about revealing their feelings in case something happened
and it didn't work out.

They spent almost all of their off time together, or with Harry and
B'Elanna.  They even took shore leaves together, which was when
Tom and Chakotay discovered that Harry and B'Elanna had
become an item as well.

 During the times when Chakotay was busy with ships business, or
when B'Elanna was swamped in Engineering, Tom and Harry
would work together, making sure that all systems were
functioning normally in the shuttle he would do the transwarp
flight in.  When Tom had mentioned his idea about attempting the
transwarp flight once again to Chakotay, he was less than enthused
about the whole thing.

"No, absolutely not!!!" demanded Chakotay

"But why?" asked Tom

"Have you forgotten what happened to you when you did the flight
the first time?  No, Tom.  I don't want to have to spend 3 long
weeks looking for you and worrying about you if you have another
sudden uncontrollable urge to continue your mutation process on
another planet!  And who knows who you'll end up kidnapping
this time.  No."

"Maybe I'll kidnap you this time," Tom said, grinning seductively
as he moved closer to Chakotay.

"That's not the point pucah," Chakotay replied.

"Okay Chakotay, I'm sorry," he said rubbing his lovers back.  This
always seemed to pacify him so he could focus better.  "Remember
a few months ago when the Doc interrupted us during our morning
activities?"

Chakotay chuckled and replied "Yeah, I remember…"  He knew
what Tom was trying to do, and he knew it was working.  Tom
learned long ago  what would soothe his lover quickly.  He was
very good at reading Chakotay.  Sometimes Chakotay thought
Tom knew him better than he knew himself.

"Well, I asked him if there were a way to counteract the effects of
the mutation process without the person being unconscious.  He
worked on it and produced a serum that halts the mutation process
completely.  All I have to do is take the medication 24 hours
before the flight and I'll be ok."

"I don't know Tom, I couldn't stand it if something happened to
you." Chakotay admitted.

"I'll be fine.  C'mon Chakotay, this is a chance for us to get
Voyager home!  If this works, we can all be home as soon as
transwarp can be incorporated into Voyager."  Tom turned
Chakotay around to face him.  "And I know you want to get home.
Besides, I want to meet your family." He said smiling at his lover.

Chakotay slipped his arms around Tom's waist and said "Ok, you
win.  I'll inform the Captain tomorrow morning.  How soon will
you be ready to do the flight?" he asked as Tom ran his hands up
and down his arms.

"We'll be ready two days from now."

"Ok, but promise me something.  Promise you'll come back to me
ok?"

"I could never stay away from you Chakotay.  Never."  Tom
sealed his promise with a kiss that lasted into the early hours of the
next morning.

Two days later Tom and Chakotay were in the shuttle bay.  Harry
and B'Elanna were doing a last minute check of the shuttle.  Tom
had taken the serum 24 hours prior and was medically ready for
the flight.

"Ok, that's the last of it…" said B'Elanna as she and Harry left the
shuttlecraft.

"Good luck buddy, " said Harry and both engineers exited the
shuttle bay.  Chakotay was still agonizing over the uncertainty of
the flight.  Tom could see it in his lover's eyes. "Don't worry.  I'll
be fine.  And when I get back, we'll have something to celebrate."
Tom said resting his hand on Chakotay's cheek.

Chakotay took Tom's hand in his, kissed the palm, then placed a
gentle kiss on the pilot's lips and said "I'll be looking forward to
it."

Tom climbed into the shuttle and Chakotay signaled to the Captain
that Tom was ready to leave.  Chakotay turned after seeing the
shuttle hatch close, and left the shuttle bay.  He arrived on the
bridge in time to see the shuttle clear the docking bay.  Voyager
followed the shuttle at warm 9  until Tom was ready to take it into
transwarp.

"Janeway to shuttlecraft Cockrane."

"Paris hear Captain."

"Ok Tom, it's now or never." Said the Captain

"Initiating transwarp sequence…now."

Suddenly the shuttle went to warp 10 and disappeared from
Voyager's sensors.  They waited patiently for him to return.  Last
time it took only 10 minutes, but as the 10th minute came and went,
Chakotay had this sinking feeling that something had gone terribly
wrong.

Like before when Tom did the transwarp flight, he saw every place
at once.  Earth, the Klingon home world, Bajor, the place where
he'd left Voyager behind, all these places flashed before him.  He
again noticed that Voyager was looking for him and decided it was
time to turn back when all of a sudden the readings on his console
told him something went wrong.  There was a brilliant flash of
light, and when he looked up from the instrument panel, he
discovered that he was orbiting around Earth.  He was home, or so
he thought.  He hailed Starfleet.  No answer.  Then the sensors
began picking up a wide range of radio bandwidths.  He put the
sound on audio and none of it made sense to him.  He heard music
playing, fast talking advertisers trying to sell cars, … "Cars!!?" he
said out loud to no one, "Oh no, please no,"

"Computer, what year is this?" he said hoping against all hope that
he was wrong.

"The year is 1998" was the reply from the computer.

"Oh my God," he whispered "I'm in the 20th century!"

Ordinarily, being thrown 300 years in the past wouldn't have
bothered Tom this much.  After all, he was an expert on 20th
century history.  But so much had changed since the last time he
was in this time period.  He didn't have Chakotay then, and now he
desperately didn't want to be without him.

Tom began frantically checking the readings on the computer,
trying to figure out what had caused the accident.  After he ran a
full diagnostic of the shuttles systems, he discovered that a slight
imbalance in the warp signature caused a rip to occur in the space
time continuum.  He would have to recreate the situation in order to
get home and to repair the rip in space time.  But the warp narcells
were damaged during the flight.  He would have to repair them,
and make sure the signature was the exact same variance that
caused the accident in the first place, in order to get home.  But
how?  He wasn't an engineer, he was a pilot.  He figured he could
probably make the repairs himself, but where time travel was
concerned, any number of things could go wrong if the repairs
weren't precise.   He needed an engineer with 24th century
knowledge but he had a snowballs chance in hell of finding
someone like that in this century.  "Computer, do you still have the
Voyager's engineering data base?"

"Affirmative."

"Good.  Give me step by step instructions on how to make this
repair, then download the information into my tricorder" he said
while incorporating his findings into the computer.  The computer
began doing as instructed.

"Working…., working….,  instructions complete - file has been
downloaded." Replied the computer.

*Good* he thought.  Now all he had to do was land the shuttle so
he could make repairs.  That was easier said than done.  He had to
land undetected as to not corrupt the time line.  As it was he
thought he may end up doing that to a certain degree anyway.  He
didn't want the shuttle to fall into the wrong hands or he may never
be able to return to his own timeline.

---

"Harry, is there some way we can track the shuttle?" the captain
asked.

"We can follow the warp signature and see where it leads too,
however, I'll need to modify the sensors.  Unfortunately, it could
take a while," replied Harry.  He couldn't figure out what went
wrong, but he was determined to find his friend.

"Do it" demanded the Captain.  "Work with B'Elanna if you have
to, but I want him found, I don't care how long it takes."

"Aye Captain." he said.  After sending all the recorded data of the
flight to engineering Harry entered the turbolift to work with
B'Elanna.

Chakotay felt like his world were crumbling all around him.  His
lover was gone and they didn't know where he was or if he were
still alive.   "What am I going to do without him?" he thought
aloud, not intending to.  The Captain saw the anguish in
Chakotay's face.  Chakotay really did love Tom and she
immediately felt sympathy for her first officer.  She patted him on
the arm and said "Don't worry Chakotay, we'll find him."

Chakotay gave a feeble nod and said, "Permission to leave the
bridge.  I'd like to see if B'Elanna and Harry need any help."

"Go.  Let me know as soon as you find something."

"I will," Chakotay confirmed and left the bridge.

---

"Computer, is there a way I can disrupt the signal of the satellites
orbiting the planet without actually destroying them?" Tom asked
the computer.

"Affirmative.  Sending an empty carrier wave toward the satellite
on northernmost hemisphere will disrupt the signal." Said the
monotone voice of the computer.

"Will it give me enough time to land the shuttle?" asked Tom.

"Affirmative."

Being an expert on 20th century history had come in handy.  He
decided he would land the shuttle close to the NASA base near the
Hawaiian islands.  That way if he needed materials, he could get
them.  Getting the materials wouldn't be a problem using the 24th
century technology from the shuttle.  He located and scanned  a
large looking for a safe place to hide the shuttle.  There were no
openings in the mountain, however, his scan indicated a hollow
area large enough to hold the shuttle near the outside of the
mountain if there were an opening.   Not far from there was a
rather large city, close to a what looked like a school or a campus.

Tom waited until it was dark on the side of the Earth he wanted to
land on.  Then he sent the carrier wave through and just like the
computer said, it disrupted the satellites long enough for him to
descend out of range and go in undetected.  He located the hollow
area of the cave with the help of the shuttle sensors.   Then he
made a slight modification to the shuttle's phasers and used them
to create an opening in the mountain near the hollow area, with
little to no rock debris.  When he was sure it was safe, he slowly
piloted the shuttle inside.  Once inside, he powered all the systems
down and decided to get some sleep.

The next morning, he decided he should go into town and get
some appropriate clothes, although according to the last time he
was there, he didn't think anyone would notice his uniform.  He
was right.  No one noticed or seemed to care what he was wearing.
He made his way to what looked like a large school or university.
Most of the people he saw seemed to be in a hurry, carrying large
books to different buildings.

He found a clothing store on the school's campus and purchased a
pair of black pants and a white cotton T-shirt with money he
replicated while in the shuttle.  Then he went in search of some
food with the money he had left over.  "Might as well taste real
food while I'm here." he thought.  He wandered into what looked
like the student center and found a pizza stand.  Pizza was
something he had begged Neelix to make a number of times.  His
mouth watered as he ordered and paid for his food  and found a
place to sit.   As began eating, he  contemplated over the last few
day's events, and thought fondly of Chakotay.  He missed his
lover, missed looking into his eyes, holding him and being held by
him.  He missed not sleeping with him the night before.  He knew
Chakotay was worried and wouldn't rest until he found him.

---

Andy had just finished his last exam of the day.  He was ecstatic.
He aced his test in quantum mechanics and decided it was time to
celebrate.  After four years of undergraduate school and 2 years of
graduate school, he was finally getting his degree in engineering.
He would be the first one in his family to earn a degree - make
something of himself.  Andrew James was at the top of his class at
the University of Honolulu.  He was about 2 meters tall with
golden bronze skin and silky black hair he kept cut short.  His eyes
were a Latin brown and his chiseled Indian features made him
gorgeous in the eyes of many women on campus.  But although he
had many female friends, he was attracted to men and kept
this a secret from everyone.  Even his family, except for one sister,
had no idea he was gay.

Andy thought he'd first get something to eat.  Afterward he would
head home and see what his friends would be up to that evening.
He entered the student center and was looking around when his
eyes came across the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.  He had
blond hair and deep blue eyes.  He was eating all alone at a table
so Andy thought he might join him.  He bought some food for
himself and took it over to the table were the young man was
sitting.  If his instincts were correct,  and they usually were, he
didn't think this man would mind if he asked him out.

"Is anyone sitting here" he said.

Tom almost choked on his food.  Whoever this was speaking to
him sounded exactly like Chakotay and he knew that was
impossible.  His head snapped up to see who was talking to him.

"Chakotay?" he asked incredulously. "Chakotay! How did you
 get here!!?"

"Do I know you?" said Andy

Tom slowly realized that this man wasn't Chakotay.  But the
resemblance was remarkable!!!  He looked exactly like Chakotay
except he was as tall as Tom was, a few years younger, and there
was no tattoo on his forehead.  His hair was the same color and
texture of Chakotays, but he wore it longer and it was wavier.
Other than these differences,  everything else about him was
exactly the same.  He had to  have been one of his ancestors.

"I…I'm sorry, you just looked like someone I know." He said still
not able to believe the similarities.

"Well, can I join you anyway?"

"Oh sure," Tom replied as he motioned for this man to sit down.
"My name is Tom.  Tom Paris."

"I'm Andrew James, but you can call me Andy." He said giving
that charming smile Chakotay always gave him.  It made him miss
Chakotay even more.

"I don't think I've seen you on campus before.  Are you new?"

"Not exactly.  I just stopped here to get a bite to eat." Tom said.
"I take it you attend school here."

"I did.  I just finished my last class and in a few weeks I'll receive
my degree in engineering." he said.  His eyes  even twinkled the
way Chakotay's did when he was happy or proud of his
accomplishments.

"Congratulations."  Tom said extending his hand to shake Andy's.

"So Tom, of all the places you could have eaten, why did you pick
here?"

"Actually," Tom began, "I'm new in town and decided to take in
some site seeing."

"Really?  Well, I've lived here for most of my life.  Why don't I
show you around?"  *This was too perfect* Andy thought to
himself *I'll show him around and get to know him better at the
same time.*

"I'd love too Andy, but..." Tom began.

"I won't take no for an answer" replied Andy smiling that
wonderfully charming smile that Tom could never resist.

Tom knew he was going to have a difficult time distinguishing this
person from Chakotay.  He didn't realize he was staring until
Andy shook him out of it.  "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, like I said you remind me of someone I know. You two
look a lot  alike." Tom said.

"Was this a good friend of yours?" inquired Andy.  He was hoping
beyond all else that Tom didn't have a lover.

"Yes, a good friend..." Tom said, missing Chakotay more and
more with each minute.

"Well let's go.  I have a lot to show you." Andy grinned and began
to get up from the table with Tom following suit.  Tom knew he
needed to be working on fixing the shuttle, but he didn't want to
draw any unwanted attention on his current situation.  He figured
the tour wouldn't take that long.  Besides, he always wanted to see
what 20th century Hawaii was like.

---

B'Elanna and Harry worked together to find out exactly what
happened to the shuttle that Tom was on.  The modifications made
to the shuttle at the last minute caused the warp signature to be
unusually strong, so they were able to follow it.  They had been
following the signature for nearly 2 months, but were unsuccessful.
They hadn't come close to finding Tom.

Chakotay tried to keep himself as busy as possible.  He worked
double shifts on the bridge when he could, anything to keep from
going to his quarters - the quarters that he and Tom had practically
shared together.  There were so many reminders of his lover there.
An extra uniform, a few of his vids, the pajamas he was wearing
during their first intimate evening together.  Whenever he was in
his quarters he felt so alone.  He missed Tom so much it hurt.  He
never knew how much Tom had wrapped himself around his heart
- didn't realize how much a part of him he actually was until he
was gone.

The worst part was not knowing what happened.  The flight was
apparently going to be exactly the same as the first.  Something
must have gone wrong, but until they could find him, they didn't
know what.  B'Elanna and Harry were working on it, but they were
no closer to finding out what happened than they were a month
ago.  It was so frustrating.  The Captain had been sympathetic to
Chakotay and attempted to help as much as she could, but nothing
would help.  Nothing except getting his lover back.  He didn't even
get a chance to tell Tom how he really felt about him.

---

The next 2 1/2  months seem to drag by for Tom.  He was having a
difficult time making the repairs on the ship.  With time travel he
really felt like he was way out of his realm of expertise.  Whenever
he thought he had it right, he would run a diagnostic and find
another problem he had overlooked.  It was becoming more and
more frustrating as the days went by.  The only diversion he had
was his new found friendship with Andy.  The only downfall about
their relationship, however, was that he reminded him so much of
Chakotay it made his heart ache.  Sometimes they would be in a
conversation and Andy would smile or laugh and it was Chakotay
he saw.  And it didn't help that he thought Andy wanted to extend
their friendship to something much more.  He'd throw little hints
his way and Tom would do his best to avoid them, changing the
subject when ever he started.  Andy was also becoming difficult to
lose each evening.  He knew he couldn't let him follow him to
where he had the shuttle hidden.  Andy had asked Tom several
times about where he lived.  Tom lied and told him he was staying
with a relative who was very particular about visitors.  He didn't
know how long he would be able to keep that lie going, but for
now it seemed to be working.  Andy had asked Tom on different
occasions to join him for dinner at his apartment, but Tom refused.
He knew what might happen if he were alone with this man and he
wasn't willing to set himself up for a fall.  Talk about screwing up
space-time continuum!!!

Almost every day, he would meet Andy at the student center on
campus.  He felt he needed a diversion from the repairs when they
became overwhelming to him.  One evening they decided to go
down to Waikiki.  There was a lot of excitement there.  The streets
were filled with tourists either shopping or going to shows.  Andy
and Tom stopped to watch a brief show of the Polynesian Culture
Center.  *They still do this show in the 24th century* Tom thought
to himself.  The performers wore the traditional Hawaiian outfits –
beautiful bright colors with Lei's around their necks and flower
reefs around their heads.  It was a wonderful show and Tom found
that he was thoroughly enjoying himself.  Andy was pleased that
he was having a good time.  He couldn't quite figure out why Tom
continued to evade the subject of them going out.  He didn't think
that Tom was opposed to being with a man, but he knew it was
something.  Suddenly he remembered something that Tom said to
him once.  When the show was over and they began to make their
way to their respective homes, Andy decided to see if he could get
information out of Tom.

"So Tom, why don't you tell me about this friend of yours who
looks so much like me."

Tom was definitely caught off guard.  "Why are you asking about
him?" was his reply.

"I just figured whoever he is, he must be very important to you,"
said Andy.  "Is he your lover?"

Another blunt question.  Boy, he certainly didn't believe in beating
around the bush did he?  "Yeah…. He is,"

"It figures.  The best looking man I've seen in a long time and he
has someone in his life already." He said in a defeated voice.  "And
he looks like me?"

"Actually," Tom began, "you two could be twins."

"Well what's his name?" inquired Andy, "Maybe we're related."

*Funny he should say that* thought Tom.  "His name is Chakotay"

"What, no last name?"

"No, just Chakotay…" Tom murmured.  Andy looked at Tom as he
spoke of his lover.  He looked so sad all Andy wanted to do was
hold him in his arms and make the pain go away.

"So I take it you two broke up?" he inquired, concern evident in
his voice.  Concern that didn't go unnoticed by Tom.  Andy was so
much like Chakotay it was almost scary.  His voice, the way he
smiled, the look he has when he's concerned about something or
someone.  It would be so easy for Tom to fall for him.  But he
couldn't, for so many reasons.  He had to keep telling himself that.
Chakotay was waiting for him in his own time period and he
wanted so badly to be with him, if he ever got home again.  He
didn't even get a chance to tell Chakotay how he really felt about
him.

"Actually, we didn't break up, we…well…" Tom hesitated.

"It's ok Tom, you don't have to tell me…" said Andy.  "You must
really love him."

All Tom could do was nod.  Chakotay being so far away from him
was more than he could bare to think about at that moment.
"Andy, you have no idea how much I miss him…" he barely choked out.

Andy couldn't stand to see such sadness in Tom's eyes.  He
gathered Tom in his arms for a comforting hug.  All Tom could do
was melt into the embrace.  *Spirits he even feels like him* he
thought as he was being held by this beautiful man.  Not realizing
it he began to nuzzle Andy's neck as he held him *he even smells
like him* he thought as he heard a small moan escape Andy which
shocked him into reality.

"Oh, I'm sorry Andy, I…"

"Don't be sorry, " he said.  Tom barely made eye contact with
Andy,  he was so embarrassed by what he did.

"Look, maybe it wasn't such a good idea for me to hug you,"
Andy said, "I know you are hurting, maybe I should back off for
now - give you some time."

"Right," Tom replied.  After an awkward silence, Tom continued
with "Maybe I should go now."

"Let me walk you home." Andy stated.

"No, no…I'll be fine."

"I won't come in, your relatives won't even know I'm there…."

"I'll see you tomorrow."  Tom kissed Andy on the cheek and
quickly walked away.

"He's just too damned secretive.  Where does he go off to every
night anyway?" Andy said out loud to no one.  He decided he
would follow Tom to find out why he didn't want him to know
where he lived.  Tom walked a long distance and Andy was
beginning to think that he would never reach his house.  But to
Andy's surprise Tom didn't go to any house, but rather a cave on
Diamond Head.  Immediately Andy thought Tom was homeless.
Why else would he be living in a cave.  Andy decided at that
moment that he would go in the cave and insist that Tom come
stay with him.  He had room in his apartment and he would do
anything for a friend.  He went into the cave where he saw a faint
light down a large wide tunnel.  He followed the light, and his eyes
nearly fell out of their sockets from what he saw.  Deep inside the
cave was a rather large metal shelter of some sort.  It had a hatch
that was open and inside of the shelter he saw Tom sitting at what
looked like the most advanced computer system he had ever seen!
He slowly walked closer to the shelter, careful not to let Tom
know he was watching him.

Tom had been working on his latest project yet again and was
about to do another diagnostic before calling it a night.
"Computer, run a diagnostic of the shuttle's warp narcell  and tell
me if the modifications I've made are correct."

"Working…. Working…" said the Computer.  Andy was amazed.
He'd never seen technology like this before.  They were just now
beginning to utilize voice commands within computers - mainly
for internet use, but not like this.

"Diagnostic complete.  Your modifications are off by 47%." Was
the monotone reply of the computer.

"Damn…" Tom said hitting the console.  "Ok computer, calculate
the error, and save the information on my tricorder-quarter."

"Calculations complete.  File has been downloaded."

Tom decided he would work on it more the next day.  He got up
and began removing his shirt and pants and was about to get
comfortable on one of the cots, when he heard some noise outside
the shuttle.  He grabbed a phaser and cautiously walked outside of
the shuttle.  "Who's there?" he said pointing the phaser in the
direction of the noise.

"It's me… don't shoot!!!"  said Andy.

Tom face went from cautious to relieved that it was only Andy.
He lowered his phaser and asked, "What are you doing here?"
exasperated that he hadn't been checking to see if he were being
followed.

All Andy could do was look at him and the shuttlecraft in
amazement.  "What is this thing Tom?  I've never seen anything
like this before!!!"

Tom didn't see any reason to withhold the truth from him now.
He'd seen the evidence himself.  "That's because it hasn't been
invented yet."

"What?!!?"

"Come in Andy and I'll try to explain," said Tom gesturing for
Andy to sit on one of the cots.  "Now I know this is going to be
hard for you to believe, but I'm not from this time period.  I'm
from 400 years in the future."

Andy would have laughed in Tom's face, had he not been sitting
inside the shuttle.  But a small part of him still didn't believe it.
"Oh come on Tom, are…  are you saying you're from the 24th
century?!?"

"Yep.  You found me out.  Well,  at least I don't have to hide it
from you now."  Tom looked at Andy and saw the skepticism in
his eyes.  "You don't believe me do you?  Ok, I'll prove it. Go
outside and get a rock from the cave."

Andy did what he suggested and came back with a rock about the
size of a small cantaloupe.  He handed it to Tom and watched him
sit it on the floor of the shuttle.

"Sit down Andy," he said pointing to one of the cots. "I'm going to
transport this rock from the floor of the shuttle to the spot next to
you."

Andy thought that Tom had lost his mind.  He knew he was
wasting his time but he decided to humor him.  "Ok Tom, I can't
wait to see this trick."

"It's not a trick, it's 24th century technology." Replied Tom.  He
took his comm. badge and rested it on top of the rock. "Computer,
lock on to the coordinates of my comm. signal and beam it 3 feet
from it's current position."

Much to Andy's disbelief, the rock disappeared and rematerialized
right next to him on the cot he was sitting on, Tom's comm. badge
sitting on top of it.  "My God, I thought you were joking…" said
Andy with disbelief as he picked up the rock, examining it further.
"What kind of technology is this?"

"It's called a transporter.  It's a matter-energy conversion device."
he said, sitting down next to Andy on the cot.  It turns matter into
energy, transports it to a different location, then reassembles the
matter into its original form."

Andy was almost speechless. "What…, how did you get to this
time period?"

"Something went wrong with the warp narcells on the ship."

"This ship has warp capability?"

"That's right, you know about warp speed?" Tom was surprised.
His days at the academy taught him that Zephram Cockran was the
man who discovered warp speed on earth.

"Yes, we know of it's concept, but we've never been able to
implement it…" Andy said while looking around the shuttle.
"This is amazing!!!"

"Well, I shouldn't have even let you see this.  You have to promise
me that this will go no further than this room.  Please.  If you tell
someone, it could cause a major shift in time.  The repercussions
could be disastrous. "  Tom voiced,  "Promise me you won't tell
anyone about this,"

"I promise Tom."  Andy said looking deep into Tom's eyes.  Tom
almost melted into his gaze, the way he would when Chakotay
looked at him like that.

"Thanks…," he said breaking the glare.

"Maybe I can help you get home."

"How?  I mean, no offense, but you don't know anything about
this type of technology."

"No," Andy said, "but I do know of the concept of warp drive and
how it fits into quantum physics."

After considering Andy's offer, Tom said "No, I can't let you help
me."  Even if he let him see any more of the technology he could
be changing history.  "The less you know right now the better."

"Ok, no problem..." he said somewhat disappointed.  "Well, do
you mind if I stay here tonight?  It's a long way to my apartment
and..."

Tom was too tired to argue with him about all the reasons he
shouldn't stay.  "Sure, why not..." was Tom's reply.  "You can
have that cot over there."  He said, pointing to the cot on the other
side of the shuttle.

Andy got up and went over to the other cot.  He began removing
his shirt with his back facing Tom.  It amazed him how much this
man looked like Chakotay.  His skin, the contours of his back, the
shape of his arms and shoulders, everything about him mirrored
his lover.

Andy settled himself on the cot, covering his body with the blanket
that lay there.  He turned to look at Tom who was looking at him
with such an intensity it surprised him.  "Tom, tell me about
Chakotay." he said.

"Oh, um... well we didn't break up obviously.  He's back in my
time period."

"I figured as much," Andy replied.  "You really love him don't
you?"

"More than anything in the universe.  He's kind and gentle, a very
honorable man.  He is very much respected on my ship.  And it's
funny, if you had asked me 8 months ago if we would be in a
relationship together, I'd laughed in your face.  Now, I can't
imagine my life without him.  I miss him so much.  I didn't even
get a chance to tell him I loved him..." he stopped for fear his
voice would break.

"He sounds like a wonderful person.  Do you have a picture of
him?" Andy asked.

"Yeah,"  Tom got up to get a padd that contained his personal logs
and a few pictures, then joined Andy on his cot.  He showed Andy
a picture they had taken on their last shore leave.  They were
standing on a beach waving at Harry who took the picture, arms
around each other's waist.

"Wow," Andy replied

"What?"

"He looks like my brother Joshua... exactly like him, minus the
tattoo"

"I didn't know you had a brother," Tom said.

"Yeah, he's my older brother.  He and his family live in San
Francisco."

"Does he have children?"

"Yes, two.  A boy, Anthony Michael and a girl Gabrielle Renee."

"You planning on having children some day?" Tom asked.

"No, for two reasons,  first off the only way I could is to be with a
woman, and that's not happening any time soon, and second, I
can't because of health reasons."

"Health reasons?" Tom replied incredulously.  "You look as healthy
as an ox!!!"

"Yes, I do don't I?" Andy said jokingly.  But then his expression
turned painfully serious as he said "Looks can be deceiving.  I've
got the HIV virus."

Tom was thinking back in his mind trying to recall what HIV
stood for.  Then the realization set in and he just looked at Andy
with sad eyes.  "God Andy, I had no idea..."

"Well, it's not something I just go around advertising to everyone.
But when I find myself getting close to someone, like now, I tell
them if the subject comes up."

"I'm so sorry.."  Tom did everything in his power to keep from
even liking Andy but that was impossible.  He was so much like
Chakotay, even his personality was the same.  And he found that
he had genuine feelings for him.  He knew that having HIV would
eventually mean he would die - possibly a lot sooner than he
should.  And the way things looked, he may end up spending the
rest of his life in the 20th century.  He had already lost Chakotay,
he didn't think he could bear to lose anyone else.  He reached over
and embraced Andy, and as he did, all the emotions he had been
holding in, his deep sorrow as a result of being away from his
lover, and the news that Andy was HIV positive came crashing on
him like shock waves from an exploding star.  He held Andy
tightly as he cried, deep sobs racking his body.

Andy didn't know what to do.  He expected he would be a little
saddened but not like this.  "It's ok Tom, really..." he said as he
rubbed his back and allowed Tom to let out all of his emotions.

Finally the waves subsided and Tom was able to speak again. "I'm
so sorry,  it's just that...I've already lost Chakotay, I don't think
I can bare to lose you too, especially if I have to stay here and
right now, that's a pretty accurate possibility."

"I didn't know you felt that strongly for me."  Andy said while
wiping the tears from Tom's face. He looked deep into Tom's eyes
and said, "you are so beautiful you know that?  And you're such a
wonderful person.  Chakotay is lucky to have you."  Andy leaned
in and gave Tom a tentative kiss on the lips.

Tom didn't intend to return the kiss, but he couldn't help it.  He
was so much like his lover.  He even felt like him.  He leaned in
and captured Andy's lips in a deep passionate kiss that seemed to
weaken his knees.  He felt himself slowly loosing control and
before that happened, reality set in and he stopped.

"I can't do this Andy," he breathed "There's still the possibility
that I'll get home.  What then?  I can't take you with me.  And I do
care for you, but I don't love you.  I love Chakotay.  I don't want
to use you like that."

"You're not using me." Andy said while caressing Tom's back,
"You've been in such anguish these past few months and I wasn't
even aware of its depth.  Let me comfort you...please,"

Andy's words were said with such overwhelming tenderness, Tom
was lost.  He melted under Andy's gaze and as he was being pulled
in for another kiss, he said an inward prayer and asked that
Chakotay would be able to forgive him for what was about to
happen.

Tom's head was reeling from the passion being lavished on him
from Andy.  He was an expert lover, knowing exactly where to
touch, where to kiss.  He wasn't quite sure how it happened, but
both were naked and laying on the cot, Andy on top of Tom,
seemingly melting into his body.  Tom could feel Andy's hardness
against his own and he wrapped his legs around him to pull him
impossibly closer.   Soft sighs escaped from Tom as Andy kissed a
long wet trail from Tom's ears, to his neck, then capturing his lips
once more for an ice melting kiss.  He was such a tender lover.
Tom's hands were caressing every part of Andy's body that they
could touch.  It was so different, yet seemed so familiar.  Andy
looked deep in to Tom's brilliant blue eyes and was overwhelmed
by the desire he saw there.  He slowly trailed two fingers down the
side of Tom's face and said "You are so beautiful….so
beautiful…" and captured his lips again, parting them with his
tongue.

Tom thought he would melt right then and there.  He felt so alone
being here, even when seeing Andy almost daily.  It had been so
long since anyone loved him, and he truly did miss Chakotay.  All
those feelings were momentarily forgotten, however, as Andy
began slowly working his way down his chest, settling on one
nipple, licking and sucking until it was hard.  Tom was writhing
now, threading his hands through the thick soft hair on Andy's
head.  Then he gasped when he felt incredible warmth surround
his aching cock.  He expertly sucked Tom, twirling his tongue
around the tip of his cock, almost bringing him to the point of no
return, when all of a sudden he stopped.  Tom was panting then
slowly began to wonder what Andy was doing.

Andy had bent down and grabbed his pants.  He was searching
through the pockets when he found what it was he was looking for.
He pulled the small package out and opened it.

"What are you doing?"  breathed Tom.

"We have to be safe.  I don't want to infect you." Andy replied as
he rolled a condom on to his hardened cock.  As Andy was doing
that, Tom took this opportunity to open one of the compartments
on the side of the cot where he had some  oil stashed.  He handed it
to Andy who lubricated his fingers with it.  Then, while settled
between Tom's legs, he began to insert one oiled finger, then two,
finally a third into Tom's tight opening.

Tom lost all train of coherent thought as he felt Andy's fingers
slowly pushing in and out of his body.  Then he felt Andy
withdraw his fingers, only to be replaced by something much
better.  He felt Andy's cock ease it's way into his body, his muscles
adjusting to the feeling.

Andy slowly thrust his way into Tom's body, careful not to hurt
him.  He felt so good he had to work to maintain control over his
own body until he was buried deep inside.  He lay on top of Tom
and could feel his hard cock against his stomach.  He reached
down and wrapped his fingers around Tom's cock, pumping it in
time with his own thrusts into Tom's body.  He saw stars each time
he pushed himself into Tom's body, as Tom pulled his face closer
to his for a kiss that seemed to course through his body, causing
his orgasm to overtake him.

Tom lay there feeling this man entering his body the whole time
thinking of his lover back home, how he felt so much like Andy
did now.  It was like he was at home, being made love to by
Chakotay.  As his climax began to overtake him, he said in the
deep tendrils of his mind, hoping somehow that Chakotay could
hear and sense it, *I love you Chakotay…, please forgive me* and
he came so hard the deck of the shuttle seemed to move
underneath them.

---

Chakotay had been meditating in his quarters.  He had been
meditating for a while, attempting to calm his spirit.  He had been
so distressed lately because of Tom's disappearance that he thought
he couldn't go on at times.  All of a sudden, he felt a wave of
emotion, emotion that he hadn't felt since the last time he and Tom
were together.  It was filled with love and longing and he knew it
was from Tom.  Tom was still alive, and although he couldn't
physically prove it, he knew it in his heart that his lover was all
right and would be home with them soon.

---

Voyager continued on its course, following the warp signal of the
shuttle Tom had been in.  B'Elanna and Harry both spent countless
hours working to retrieve Tom.  The captain assigned Harry to
Engineering until they could find him.  His expertise with warp
drive would be beneficial.  That and the fact that he seemed to be
the only one who could calm B'Elanna when she became frustrated.
B'Elanna would recite some very explicit Klingon swear words
whenever they came close to, but not close enough to getting an
answer.  Harry seemed to be the only one that could get her to focus
better on the problem.

One evening long after the alpha shift had ended, B'Elanna, not
being able to sleep went down to Engineering to run some further
tests on the signature they were following.  She had been working
for almost 2 hours, scanning the signature each time with
randomly different variances when she was startled by the feeling
of warm hands encircling her waist and soft lips nuzzling her neck.
She immediately relaxed into Harry's warm embrace.

"I thought you were sleeping…"

"I was, but when I woke up and you weren't there, I figured you
ventured down here." Harry murmured.  "Why don't you come
back to bed…."

"You go ahead,  I'll stay here and monitor the…."

Before she could finish the sentence, Harry turned her to face him
and captured her lips in a searing kiss that took her breath away.
Harry was the best kisser B'Elanna had ever had the pleasure of
kissing.  His full lips ascending on hers was enough to break her
resolve.

"Oh hell…. Forget the tests" she growled as she and Harry
practically raced out of Engineering.  They would have almost
made it but the computer chirped signaling that it had found
something different from the scans  she was running.

"Wait…let me check the findings before we leave…" B'Elanna
said as she went over to the console.  B'Elanna read the findings
and gestured for Harry to join her.

"How could it have been this simple?"  she exclaimed.

"I don't know why we didn't think of this before," Harry voiced.
"Kim to Chakotay…"

"Chakotay here, go ahead…"

"Chakotay, I think we've found what may have happened to Tom.
B'Elanna and I are in Engineering and.."

"I'm on my way, Chakotay out." He said bolting out of his quarters
to Engineering, while contacting the Captain and asking her to
meet him there as well.

---

"Are you saying that Tom may have been somehow sent either
forward or backward in time?" questioned the Captain.  All four
officers were standing in Engineering wearing  night  clothes.

"Exactly…" said B'Elanna.  "Trouble is, we won't know which
direction he went in unless we follow the warp signature into the
spacial rip."

"Ok, say we do follow the warp signature,  how do we get back to
our own time?"

"That's where we run into a problem…" B'Elanna replied.

"Not necessarily…" said Harry.  "A while back I was talking to
Seven and she told me that the Borg were present during the first
warp flight done by Zephran Cockran.  She said the Borg went
back to that time period in an attempt to assimilate the Federation
before it even started, but they didn't succeed due to the Enterprise
E's captain, Jean Luc Picard,"

"Enterprise E?  There's no Enterprise E that I'm aware of,"
exclaimed the Captain.

"According to Seven there is.  It's a long story."  Harry noted.
"Anyway,  if we could somehow import that technology into our
ship's systems, maybe we can come back to our own time period
that way."

"This may even provide a way for us to return to our own time in
the Alpha quadrant."  Exclaimed Janeway.  She hit her comm.
badge "Janeway to Seven…"

"Seven here Captain,"

"Report to Engineering at once"

"Yes Captain, I'm on my way" Seven said and the link was cut.

The Captain considered all the information received from her two
officers.  She then looked at Chakotay who for the first time in a
long while, looked happy and hopeful.  There was finally some
hope that they could find Tom, and at the same time, an additional
possibility they could get home.

"How soon can the modifications be made?" asked Chakotay.

"Two hours, with Seven's help," replied B'Elanna.

"Use whatever personnel you'll need and notify me when you've
completed the modifications,"  stated the Captain.  After giving
Chakotay's arm a gentle squeeze, she turned and left Engineering,
making a mental note to question Seven regarding the Enterprise.

Chakotay turned to B'Elanna and said…. "Is there anything else
you'll need?"

"Just for you to go back to your quarters and rest.    Don't worry,
we've got it under control.  We'll call you as soon as we're ready to
make the flight."  She said smiling.  Chakotay smiled and then
took his leave of Engineering, just as Seven arrived.  He was too
wound up to sleep.  Tom would be home soon and he could hardly
wait.  He was like a kid on Christmas Eve, he was so excited.

Two hours later the modifications were made and they were slowly
coming up on the spacial rip.  As soon as Voyager was almost
upon it, there was a brilliant flash of light.  When the bridge crew
opened their eyes, they looked at the view screen and saw Earth.
"Mr. Kim, ascertain what year this is," ordered Janeway.

"The year is 1998.  We've gone back to the late 20th century"
answered Harry.

"Scan the planet for any Federation signature…." Chakotay stated,
inwardly praying that they would find the shuttle Tom had been in.

---

Tom was laying in the cot with Andy snuggled next to him, deep
in thought.  How could he let his emotions and his hormones get
away from him like that?  Andy was sleeping soundly next to him.
Tom thought he was so beautiful as he begin to caress the soft
waves of his black hair.  As he lay there contemplating what to do
about this new relationship he seemed to have embarked on, his
comm. badge chirped…

"Voyager to Shuttlecraft Cochran…," said Captain Janeway

He grabbed his comm. badge from the floor, "Paris to Voyager…
boy am I glad to hear from you!!!" he said as Andy began to stir.

"Glad to hear from you as well Tom…" replied Janeway.

Tom got up, hastily put on his pants and a shirt and walked over to
the view screen.  He pressed the control to activate the screen
and saw the Captain and Chakotay looking at him.  Chakotay
beamed.  "Tom,  it's really you…."

"Chakotay, oh you don't know how much I've missed you…"
exclaimed Tom.  He was so overjoyed at the sight of his lover that
he almost forgot that the Captain was on screen as well.

"There will be time enough for a reunion later gentlemen…"
Janeway said with a smile.  "Right now, we need to get you off the
planet and into our shuttle bay.  Can you fly the shuttle up to the
ship?"

"Yes, Captain, but you'll have to disrupt the satellites in order for
me to pass by undetected…"

"No problem.  Let us know when you're ready." Said the Captain.

"Tom,"

"Yes Chakotay,"

"Hurry up okay?"  Chakotay said smiling.

"As soon as I can love," Tom replied as he touched the screen
where Chakotay's face was before it went blank.

"So there here for you huh?"  said Andy.

At the sight of Chakotay, Tom had momentarily forgotten about
Andy.  What was he going to do about him?  His mind was racing,
trying to figure out a way to rectify the situation without hurting
Andy.  Then he came up with an idea.

"Yeah, they're here."  he replied.

"I was afraid of that…"  Andy's gaze moved from Tom to the
floor.  When he looked up, tears had welled up in his eyes, but he
refused to let them fall.  "I knew I shouldn't have let myself fall in
love with you…."

*Damn...* thought Tom.  This gave him even more incentive for
what he was about to do.  He began to put on his uniform and
make preparations to fly the shuttle back to Voyager while he
talked.  "That's the exact reason why I didn't want things to
progress the way they did…"

"I know," Andy said as he began to put his clothes on, "but it
wouldn't have mattered whether we made love or not,  I fell for
you some time ago...."

Tom went over and slowly put away the cot, throwing the soiled
sheets in the refresher and disposing of the used condom and
wrapper.  While Andy's back was turned, he secretly grabbed a
hypospray filled with a sedative and turned to face Andy, the
hypospray hidden behind his back.  The move went completely
unnoticed by Andy.

Tom walked over to Andy and put his arms around his neck, an
innocent move that went undetected.  Andy gently placed his arms
around Tom's waist as Tom said,  "Andy, I do have feelings for
you, but I love Chakotay.  And I can't take you with me…, I hope
you can forgive me.  I should have never taken advantage of you
like that."

Andy freely let his tears flow now which broke Tom's heart.  He
looked deep into Tom's eyes and said "Will I ever see you again?"

"Maybe someday, you will…" Tom replied.  He placed his empty
hand on the side of Andy's tear stained face, kissed him one last
time, and pressed the hypospray into his neck.  Andy was out cold.
Tom gently lowered Andy's limp body on the deck of the shuttle,
signaled for the Captain to disrupt the satellite and piloted the
shuttle out of the cave and into space to meet Voyager.

Once the shuttle docked safely in Voyager's shuttle bay, the hatch
opened and Tom stepped out.  He looked around until he saw the
familiar face of his lover enter the bay.  They both were in each
other's arms in moments, all thought of proper Starfleet protocol
forgotten.  "I can't believe it's you…" Tom uttered, "I thought I
might never see you again," he said looking into Chakotay's eyes.

"Spirits, I've missed you so much Tom,"  Chakotay whispered
while softly caressing Tom's face.  He then rested his forehead
against Tom's and said "You don't know how worried I've been…
all I could think was, I had to find you…." And he kissed Tom
softly as if he were something precious and fragile that had to be
handled with the utmost care.  The Captain entered just as they
separated.

"Captain, I have a passenger on board the shuttle," said Tom, "we
need to get him to sick bay and wipe his memory of me and the
shuttle."

"Janeway to the Doctor, report to the shuttle bay."

"On my way Captain," said the Doctor.

"Who is he?" Janeway asked as she went inside the shuttle.  She
took one look and Tom's passenger, then to Chakotay.  "My
God…," she said as she bent down and touched his face, "the
resemblance is remarkable!!"

"Yeah it is," said Tom, somewhat surprised that the Captain had
touched Andy the way she did.

Chakotay couldn't believe what he was seeing.  He felt like he was
looking at himself when he was 21 years old.  "He must be one of
my ancestors…" he managed to say.  He tentatively reach out to
touch him, then changed his mind.  "This is so weird…," Chakotay
voiced.  "What's his name?"

"Andrew,  Andrew James." Tom replied.

"He is one of my ancestors…" Chakotay confirmed.

"How do you know?" asked the Captain

"James is my last name." Chakotay said and successfully shocked
everyone who was standing in the shuttle bay.  Just then the
Doctor arrived and after entering the shuttle immediately began
scanning Andy.

"We need to get him to sick bay in order for me to wipe his
memory," said the Doc.

"Wait, must you wipe his entire memory?" asked Tom

"No, we can isolate the brain patterns that contain his most recent
memories of you and the shuttle." Replied the Doctor.  "No
permanent memory loss will be experienced."

Tom let out a sigh of relief as two officers placed Andy on a grav-
bed and led him to sick bay.  "Mr. Paris, you'll need to report to
sick bay as well."

"I'm fine Doc.," Tom said in protest, but the Doctor insisted.

"Tom, report to sick bay.  After being away from Voyager for so
long, you require a check up.  I expect to see you in 5 minutes."
He stated and exited the shuttle bay.

"Guess I don't have much of a choice," said Tom

"No, apparently not," replied Chakotay and he immediately went
to gather Tom in his arms again.  Janeway graciously gave them a
few moments and returned to the bridge.

"Chakotay, I really was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see you
again," Tom uttered.

"You didn't think I would have stopped looking for you did you?"

"No, I didn't really.  But all things considered, if you couldn't
figure out how to find me, the Captain would have insisted that
Voyager continue on without me." Tom said.

"It wouldn't have mattered,  I wouldn't have stopped looking,"
Chakotay voiced, "even if I had to take a shuttle and fly at warp 10
to recreate the accident, I would have found you."

"Chakotay,  there's something I want to tell you,  I…"

"Janeway to Chakotay,"

"Chakotay here, go ahead…"

"We need you here on the bridge."

"On my way Captain." he said.  "I have to go,"

"I know, and I have to go to sick bay before the Doc sends security
after me." Tom said while caressing Chakotay's arms.

"Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to make up for lost time,"
said Chakotay and he captured Tom's lips for a long sensual kiss,
before reluctantly letting go of his lover and heading for the
Bridge.

Tom went to sick bay as instructed.  Once he arrived he saw the
Doctor standing over Andy as he lay on one of the biobeds.  "Tom,
are you aware this man has the HIV virus?" he said looking
concerned.

"Yeah, I know…"   Tom said, sadness immediately engulfing him.

"From the scan I did of his body, I've found traces of your DNA in
the form of sperm on parts of his body.  Have you been sexually
active with this individual?" the Doctor asked in his dry
professional medical voice.

"Yeah, I have," Tom admitted, "but I don't want anyone to know
about this, understand?  Especially Chakotay."

"I would never violate a Doctor-Patient confidentiality."  The
Doctor stated in a matter-of-fact way.  "He'll never here it from
me.  But what I'm concerned with is you."   He began scanning
Tom's body with the tricorder and was relieved to find no trace of
the HIV virus in his body.

"What are you doing Doc?" asked Tom.

"Just making sure you're HIV negative," replied the Doctor, "and
I'm happy and relieved to see that you are."

"I could have told you that Doc.," voiced Tom.

"Well, I've successfully wiped his memory of any trace of you and
the shuttle." Stated the Doc.  "You can beam him down to the
surface any time.  Just give the transporter room the coordinates
and…"

"Doc., can we give him the vaccine for HIV?"

"Mr. Paris, you know I can't do that," replied the Doctor.

"Yeah, I know… just thought I'd ask.  Can I be alone with him for
a minute?"

After careful consideration, the Doctor reluctantly gave in.  "Ok,
but not for long.  The sedative you gave him will wear off within
the hour, so the sooner we get him back to the planet, the better."
He said.  "Computer, end the emergency medical holographic
program," he stated and faded out of the room.

The moment the Doctor disappeared, Tom prepared a hypospray
with the vaccine for the HIV virus.  He walked over to Andy and
gently caressed the soft curls that loosely draped his forehead.
"You look so much like him Andy.  I wish you could get to know
him.  If for some reason, I wasn't able to return to my time, to
Chakotay, I know I would have been happy with you."  Tom
pressed the hypospray into Andy's neck and said - "consider this a
thank you, for being my friend." And he reached down and lightly
brushed a kiss across Andy's lips.

After he replaced the hypospray,  he grabbed a portable sonic
shower and cleaned any trace of his DNA off of Andy's body.
Then he contacted the transporter room and gave them the
coordinates for Andy's apartment.  Tom notified Janeway that he
was ready to beam Andy back to the planet, and watched as Andy
disappeared from sick bay, rematerializing in his own bed, in his
apartment.

While Tom was saying his good bye's to Andy in sick bay, the rest
of the crew was preparing to return to the 24th century.  After the
modifications were made in Engineering, Janeway ordered the
pilot on duty to return the ship through the spacial rip.  They were
hoping that with the additional modifications made by Seven, they
would end up in Federation space.  But the situation was touch and
go.  They had no way of knowing where they would end up until
they actually made it back.  Voyager entered the spacial rip, and
when the light disappeared, Janeway said,  "Mr. Kim, have we
returned to our own time?"

"That's affirmative Captain, however, we're not in Federation
space."

"Very well, Mr. Kim.  Helm, set a course for…"

"Captain wait!!!"  shouted Harry, "we may not be in Federation
space, but we've traveled 62,000 light years from our previous
location in this time!!!"

"That means," Janeway gasped as the realization of Harry's words
hit her, "we're only 3 years away from home?"

As the news spread throughout the ship, cheers could be heard on
every deck.  Once everyone had calmed down, Janeway realized
that Chakotay was anxiously awaiting to be relieved of duty.  She
looked at him and said "Go, take the rest of the week off, and…
tell Tom it's good to have him back."

"Thank you Captain," Chakotay said with smile.  He quickly
exited the bridge and went to his quarters hoping to find Tom
there.

Tom had left sick bay and went to his quarters to change, shower,
and grab a bite to eat.  He had just finished his meal and was about
to go to the bridge when the ship went through the spacial rip once
more.  Shortly after the light turned to normal on the ship again,
Captain Janeway made the announcement that Voyager was 3
years away from home.  With all the shouting he barely heard his
comm. badge.

"Chakotay to Paris..."

"Paris here..."

"Meet me in my quarters, I'll be there shortly."

"On my way Chakotay." and Tom all but sprinted to his quarters.

Tom made it to Chakotay's quarters in record time. He punched in
the code and entered.  Everything was the same, although you
could see used candles in front of a small table where Chakotay
had obviously been meditating.  He went into the bedroom where
he noticed a padd on the night stand, along with a few other items.
He picked it up and noticed that it was the last few entries of
Chakotay's personal log.  Knowing he probably shouldn't, but not
being able to help himself he began reading.  *Personal Log,
Stardate 49317.2  It has been almost 3 months since Tom has been
gone.  I am so discouraged.  We're no closer to finding him than
we were when he first disappeared, and I'm so miserable.  I miss
him so much it hurts.  The short time we've been together has
made me realized he is the most wonderful person I've ever been
in a relationship with.  And I never even got a chance to tell him
how I really feel about him.  When we find him, I intend to tell
him... tell him how much I...."

"Tom, you here?"

"In the bedroom..." Tom said and quickly replaced the padd on the
night stand.

Chakotay stepped into the bedroom and immediately embraced
Tom.  For a long moment they just stood there, holding each other,
as if to convince themselves that the other man was real.

"God, I've missed you," said Tom

"I've been lost without you Tom,  I could hardly function..."
Chakotay replied as he began to gently stroke Tom's back.  He
looked into his lover's eyes  as he began unzipping Tom's uniform.

Tom's hands began to mimic Chakotay's - unzipping his uniform.
Both desperately wanted to feel the other - skin on skin, as if to
confirm the other was real.  Soon both were naked, Chakotay
underneath Tom's body.

"Chakotay, I've missed you so much…, so much" Tom breathed as
he kissed a trail up and down Chakotay's neck.

"Tom," Chakotay moaned as his chest was being kissed, licked and
sucked by his persistent lover, "Oh baby, how I've missed you.  I
could barely function without you…." He whispered just before
Tom descended on his lips, parting them with his tongue.

Tom could feel Chakotay's hands  caressing his body.  His nails
gently moving up and down his back sent a chill through his body
as he kissed his lover.  He reluctantly pulled his lips away from his
lover and looked deep into his beautiful brown eyes.  The love and
desire he saw there startled him.

Time seemed to stand still monetarily for both of them.  They
were both breathing heavily as they gazed into each other's eyes.
Tom reached up and placed his hand on the side of Chakotay's
cheek.  "You are so beautiful Chakotay, everything about you is…,
your skin, your eyes, God, I love you so much…." He uttered and
without waiting for a response, he captured Chakotay's lips again.

After the kiss ended, Tom slowly kissed  his way down Chakotay's
torso, pausing at his sensitive areas.  He stopped at one nipple and
seductively twirled his tongue around it, causing a moan to escape
Chakotay's lips.  He slowly traveled down his body until he was
between Chakotay's legs, kissing his inner thigh.

Chakotay was completely overwhelmed at the sensations Tom
evoked from his body.  He could feel Tom's warm breath on his
thigh and then felt the moist warmth he'd missed so much enclose
his erect member.

Tom took Chakotay into his mouth and sucked hard, enjoying the
feel of his lover in his mouth.  It had been so long and he wanted
to re-experience every sensation he had done without.  He
quickened his pace and felt Chakotay's fingers thread their way
through his hair.  He could tell his lover was getting close and
continued his pace, wanting him to feel immense pleasure.

"Tom, I…., I can't hold it, I…."  Chakotay uttered before he
exploded in Tom's mouth - wave after wave slamming through his
body as Tom continued to accept every last drop from his lover.

Tom moved toward Chakotay's face and momentarily watched him
as his orgasm began to subside.  Then he sat up and reached into
the drawer of the night stand and pulled out a bottle of oil,
lubricated his fingers and his cock while continuing to watch
Chakotay as he recovered.

Chakotay was overwhelmed by the sensations he had just
experienced.  He thought he wouldn't be able to move afterwards,
when he felt a warm, slick finger enter his body.  It amazed him
how good it felt as Tom's fingers pushed in and pulled out of his
body. He began moaning as the previous sensations were slowly
being brought back to life.   By the time Tom had added a second
and third finger, he was erect all over again.

Tom removed his fingers then languidly pressed his cock into his
lover.  He moved slowly, going deeper with each thrust, until he
was buried deep inside Chakotay.

Chakotay let Tom have complete control over him.  He closed his
eyes as the sensations rushed through him.  He felt Tom's cock
brush his prostate… "Oh yesssss, " he murmured over and over as
he was being rocked by his lover's powerful thrusts.  He was going
over the edge again.  He grabbed Tom's hips attempting to pull
him impossibly deeper in to his body, and as Tom plunged into
him one last time, Chakotay came saying Tom's name.

"Uhh, this is so good," Tom said as he moved within Chakotay,
feeling the remarkable tightness surrounding him.  He couldn't
hold it much longer.  "Oh God, Chakotay…. yes, yessss…" He
exclaimed as orgasm overtook him and he came filling his lover's
body.

Tom collasped on Chakotay, breathing heavily, Chakotay not
seeming to mind one bit as he was recovering as well.   When he
could, Tom reached for a towel that was inside the drawer of the
night stand and used it to dry them both.  Then he covered them
both with the blanket as Chakotay settled into his embrace.

They both lay in bed, Chakotay laying on Tom's chest with his
arm around him, each caressing the other.  Then Chakotay
remembered what Tom said to him earlier. "Tom, did
you mean it?"

"Mean what?"  Tom replied, not really knowing what Chakotay
was referring to.

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?"

Chakotay lifted himself up so he could look into Tom's eyes.
"Yes, I meant it Chakotay.  I promised myself if I ever saw you
again I would tell you."

Chakotay gazed into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity and
love.  "I love you Tom, … and I'm not just saying that because it's
the appropriate response.  I really do love you."

Tom was overwhelmed at the love he saw in Chakotay's eyes.
"How long?  I mean, how long have you known?"

"Since before our first night together."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tom asked.

"I was afraid I would scare you off if you realized what I wanted in
a relationship,"  Chakotay admitted, "what I wanted from you."

"Well, if there is one thing that my experience in the 20th century
taught me is that you don't always have the time you think you
do."  Tom paused, took a deep breath and said "Chakotay, there's
something else I need to tell you, something I promised myself I
would tell you if I ever saw you again…"

At that moment Chakotay went through several different emotions
within a few seconds.  He had no idea what Tom was going to say,
but the seriousness in his voice was so unnerving that he thought
his worst fear was about to become reality - the fear that Tom,
even though he loved him, wouldn't want to be with him.  Tom
saw the fear in his lover's eyes and quickly reassured him.

"It's not a bad thing... at least I don't see it as being bad,"

A deep sigh of relief could be heard coming from Chakotay.
"What is it then?"

"I had so long to think while I was away, so much time to
contemplate about my life and the turn it has taken."  He replied
while slowly threading his fingers though Chakotay's soft black
hair.  "Since I came aboard Voyager, my life has changed so much
for the good.  I'm so happy with what I have now.  But all of that,
I realized, is nothing without you."  He rested his hand on Chakotay's
face and said "I'm so glad you are a part of my life Chakotay...
I love you, with all my heart, and…" He paused, then took a deep
breath and continued on "…. I want you to marry me."

"What?"  Chakotay asked.

"I just felt I should to tell you what I wanted.  I know it's sudden,
and maybe you don't want to, but maybe you could at least think about
it and…."

"Are you crazy?" Chakotay replied, "There's nothing to think about!
Of course I will!"

"Really?"  exclaimed Tom

"Really. "   Chakotay answered and gathered Tom in a tight
embrace.  "I want the same thing Tom,  I always have."

From that moment, they both knew that they would be together for
the rest of their lives.  They kissed tenderly for a long while and
then drifted into a deep contented sleep.

---

The End