The BLTS Archive - Breathe Again
by JanitaMB, a.k.a. Blackcat (janitamb@aol.com, blackcat66@email.com)

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Postings: CPSG, BLTS, R'rain's Archive

Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Paramount. I just like
playing with them a little. Neither I nor Paramount are making any
money off of this story.

WARNING: This is a C/P story, involving sex between two men. If this
doesn't float your boat, don't read it. Simple ain't it? If you are
under the age of 18, leave now while you still can.

Virtual hugs and kisses to Britta for beta reading for me. If you find
any errors, they're not her fault. I take full responsibility.

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"Oh my God, Tom!" Chakotay shouted as he entered the battered
shuttlecraft that was tractored into Voyager's shuttle bay. He ran
over to where Tom lay, bleeding from a gash on his head. Chakotay
quickly scanned Tom's broken body. Tom's breathing was shallow and his
heart rate was dangerously low. Chakotay hit his comm. badge,
"Chakotay to the Bridge, two to beam directly to sickbay!"

Several hours later, Chakotay was in his quarters pacing angrily.
Dealing with him could be so frustrating at times, and this has been
the last straw. Tom Paris was constantly crossing the line, taking
matters into his own hands, ignoring Starfleet protocol and doing
exactly what he wanted, instead of what is expected of a Starfleet
officer. What made it so bad this time was that he almost got himself
killed in the process. This in itself angered Chakotay beyond reason,
because it seemed that Tom had so little regard for his own life. He
could hardly breathe he was so angry.

"That's it, I've had it," Chakotay said to himself. "Computer, is
Lieutenant Paris still in sickbay?"

"Negative, Lieutenant Paris is in his quarters," replied the monotone
female voice of the computer. Chakotay bolted out the door and headed
directly for Tom's quarters.

Once he reached the Lieutenant's quarters he pressed the door chime
and was allowed to enter. Tom moved further into his living area and
said "Okay Chakotay, let's hear it," obviously prepared for a dressing
down by his senior officer.

Chakotay was prepared to let him have it when he took a good look at
Tom. He was wearing a white T-shirt with gray sweat pants and no
socks, toweling his hair dry while standing there looking at Chakotay.
He apparently had just stepped out of the shower and was getting ready
for bed. He looked so sexy that Chakotay almost forgot why he had come
to his quarters in the first place. After a momentary pause, he
quickly recovered.

"Just what the hell were you thinking of pulling a stunt like that?"

"Actually, I don't really know what possessed me to do it," Tom
replied, "but we got what we needed..."

"And that's supposed to make it ok?" He shouted and began pacing the
floor again. He was so agitated he could hardly think straight. "I
can't believe you did that!!"

"Okay, this is the part where I tell you I'm sorry and it won't happen
again, so I might as well get it over with. Commander," Tom said in
the most sarcastic voice he could muster, "I'm sorry, it won't happen
again." Tom was becoming irritated with Chakotay's tone of voice.
"Now, if you'll excuse me...sir,"

Chakotay was completely oblivious to Tom's sarcasm. He was just too
angry to notice or care. "And look what happened to you! Broken ribs,
a concussion and internal bleeding..., it's nothing short of a miracle
you're still alive!" Chakotay knew he was on the verge of sounding
irrational but he didn't care. He'd almost lost him. Even though he
had never shared his feelings for the handsome pilot with anyone, he
couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

"Chakotay calm down!" Tom shouted back, "I said I was sorry okay? What
else do you want me to do? I can't take it back. It's been done
already. All I can do is promise not to do it again. Isn't that
enough?" Tom was amazed at how angry Chakotay was. This conversation,
yelling match to be more accurate, was not going along the lines of
proper Starfleet protocol, which also surprised him. Tom knew he did
certain things intentionally to get the Commander's attention. Some
attention was better than none, since he felt he could never have a
relationship with him. He never liked it when Chakotay was angry with
him though, and he definitely crossed too far over the line this time.

"I realize there are times when following orders requires us to put
our lives on the line." Chakotay said attempting to regain some
control over his emotions. "I don't think there is a Starfleet officer
alive that hasn't done that at least once in their career, but if you
had followed my orders in the first place..."

"It would have taken us days to get what we wanted. My way, it took us
a few hours. So what? I'm here, I'm alive, and we got what we needed.
He plopped himself down on his sofa while continuing to towel dry his
hair. It fell in curly blond wisps across his forehead. "Personally I
don't see a problem." Tom voiced with that cocky flyboy attitude.

"The problem is," Chakotay managed to reply through gritted teeth,
"you took matters into your own hands again, and almost got yourself
killed." He was growing more and more frustrated as this conversation
continued.

"So what? It's not like I would be missed anyway," Tom replied. "I'm
the most expendable person on board so..."

Chakotay stopped dead in his tracks. Had he just heard Tom say he was
expendable? With a look of disbelief he shouted, Tom, do you listen to
yourself when you speak?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Tom snapped.

"Tom are you..., is tha..." Chakotay couldn't get the words to form as
a result of his rising tide of emotions. *Get a grip Chakotay* he told
himself as he took a deep breath and said "Tom, not a single person on
this ship is expendable! You're a very valuable part of this crew
and..."

"Yeah right," Tom quipped, "if I died tomorrow, there would be someone
else to replace me. You don't need me Chakotay. Besides, half the
ship's crew, Starfleet and Maquis alike, would love to see me anywhere
else but here and you know it as well as I do."

"Oh, okay I get it. Just forget about all the people you'd leave
behind to mourn your death, all those who care about you, who would be
devastated if you were gone!" He said while stepping closer to Tom,
"No one else matters to you huh?" Chakotay was shouting again. He
didn't know exactly where he was going with this, but once he started,
the words wouldn't stop. "What about the people who love you?"

Tom was amazed that this conversation had progressed this far. He had
never argued with Chakotay before because he had risked his life. "No
one loves me on this ship." Tom answered.

"You are so wrong..." Chakotay began, but was quickly cut of by an
exasperated Tom Paris.

"Oh yeah? Well let's see," he said, lifting himself off the sofa so
that he was face to face with the angry Commander, "the few people
I've been out with on this ship just wanted a good luck, nothing more.
None wanted anything close to a relationship. The only person that I
know of who actually wants a relationship is Harry, and frankly, he's
not my type. Not because he's a man, mind you, but because he's...
Harry!! He's my best friend. Besides, he's attracted to B'Elanna or
Seven, it's hard to tell which these days. So Commander, who else is
there? If you know something I don't please tell me!"

"Who? Spirits Tom, don't you know?" Before he could stop himself, he
grabbed the pilot, wrapped his arms around him and held him in a tight
embrace. "You scared the hell out of me. I couldn't stand it if you
died," he whispered in Tom's ear.

Startled at first, Tom returned the embrace, realizing for the first
time that the one person on the ship that loved him, that he loved,
was in his arms trembling at the thought of losing him. "Chakotay," he
replied while softly caressing his back, "I'm sorry, I didn't know,"
He pulled away from him and looked deep into Chakotay's eyes. He saw
something there that he never thought he would -- fear, but not just
at the possibility of losing him, fear of being rejected by him. At
that moment, Chakotay had left himself completely open to Tom. Open
and vulnerable to any acceptance or rejection Tom might throw his way.

With this new-found revelation, Tom gently placed his hand on the side
of Chakotay's face and watched as his eyes closed at the feeling of
the warm touch. "Well this explains a lot," he said.

Chakotay opened his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"This conversation. I've never seen you this worked up before." Tom
admitted. "Well Commander, I know you didn't come here intending to
tell me you loved me, but I'm glad you did. I wish I had known sooner,
I could have saved myself a lot of anguish."

Chakotay's eyes looked hopeful as he said "Are you saying that.."

"You know, it's ironic," Tom began while caressing Chakotay's arms,
"All this time I've loved you and wanted to be with you, and all I had
to do was tell you. But I never said anything because I thought you
hated me."

"I never hated you Tom," Chakotay replied.

"You sure had me fooled," Tom voiced. "There were times when I thought
you would actually send me flying against a bulkhead."

"How else was I supposed to hide my feelings from you and the rest of
the crew?" Chakotay replied. "Especially since I didn't think you
would ever consider being in a relationship with me. I couldn't risk
exposing my feelings."

"There's no need for doubt any longer." Tom said, "I love you
Chakotay. I always have." Tom gazed deeply into Chakotay's eyes and
this time saw love, accompanied by longing. He leaned in and captured
Chakotay's lips in a gentle kiss that quickly turned passionate.

The next few moments from the living area to the bedroom passed rather
quickly with neither one know exactly how they ended up naked and in
Tom's bed. Chakotay settled between Tom's legs, looking deep into his
incredibly blue eyes, while slowly caressing his chest. He then
captured Tom's lips for a searing kiss that became more and more
urgent as their lips parted allowing access to the other's mouth.
Chakotay reluctantly pulled away from Tom's mouth, then began kissing
a slow trail from his lips to his neck, up to his ear tracing it with
his tongue, and back. As he reached Tom's lips once again, he gazed at
him, enamored by his beauty. "You are so beautiful," he said before
closing in on his lips once more.

Tom pulled Chakotay's body closer to him, wanting to feel as much of
him as possible. Both gasped as their erections touched. Chakotay felt
Tom's legs wrap around his waist as he began kissing a slow sensuous
trail down Tom's chest. He settled on one nipple, licking and sucking
until it was hard, while pinching and caressing the other. Soft sighs
escaped from Tom as he felt Chakotay's lips and tongue travel further
down his chest, until he settled between his legs. "Oh, this is so
good, you're too good at this Chakotay..." Tom murmured while
threading his fingers through his lover's soft black hair.

"You like this huh?" Chakotay breathed against Tom's cock, his mouth
watering at the sight of it.

"Yessss, uhhh," he moaned as he felt incredible warmth envelope his
throbbing member. Chakotay twirled his tongue in circles around the
tip of his cock, then taking his shaft deep inside, he sucked slowly,
rhythmically, until Tom thought he would explode from the sensation if
it continued. Not wanting it to end so soon, he reached down and
pulled Chakotay back up to his face where he kissed him again.

Chakotay pulled away from him and said "I want you inside me Tom,
please..." Tom never had anyone express such desire for him in his
life. Chakotay rolled off him and settled next to him on his stomach,
waiting for what he knew would come next. Tom straddled Chakotay and
began to kiss and lick his way down Chakotay's back, reveling in the
beauty of his lover. The contours of his back and shoulders, the
golden bronze skin that contrasted with his own pale skin. Tom felt he
couldn't get enough of him as he moved near Chakotay's ear and said in
a low husky voice, "I want to see you while we make love."

At that, Chakotay turned over as Tom reached in the drawer of the
night stand and pulled out a small container with body oils in it. He
selected one of the oils, lubricated his fingers and slowly pushed one
finger inside Chakotay, then two, finally three, slowly stretching
while pushing in and pulling out of his lover's body. Chakotay was
groaning constantly now as he felt Tom's fingers entering him.

"Tom hurry, please.." he pleaded.

The urgency in his voice was all the incentive Tom needed. He quickly
oiled his cock and slowly pushed inside the incredibly warm, tight
opening. It started slowly, with Tom going deeper with each thrust.
Finally, Tom was buried deep inside Chakotay, who gasped with pleasure
at the sensation. They began to build a rhythm and Tom rested his body
against Chakotay's beginning to nuzzle his neck. Tom could feel
Chakotay's erection between them as they moved together. Tom was
pulled closer to Chakotay's body, and after taking his tongue around
Chakotay's ear, he looked deep into his eyes.

They gazed at each other, eyes clouded with desire as they moved
together. Every nerve ending in Chakotay's body was on alert, skin on
skin, eyes locked on one another as his body was rocked with each
powerful thrust Tom made. Chakotay reached up and caressed Tom's face,
his eyes saying what his mouth couldn't. Tom responded by slowly
kissing him, and as he gently sucked Chakotay's tongue, Chakotay came
so hard he thought he felt the deck move beneath them. Chakotay's
contracting muscles pulled Tom's orgasm out of him immediately after
thrust deeply one final time.

Tom collapsed on Chakotay and they lay there as they slowly recovered.
When he could, Tom eased out of Chakotay causing him to moan from the
loss. He reached on the side of the bed and grabbed the towel that
he'd been drying his hair with when he got out of the shower before,
and began to clean himself and Chakotay.

He looked at his lover with tender loving eyes. "So Chakotay, do you
usually reprimand your officers like this?"

Chakotay chuckled, "Not usually, but this time I felt I should make an
exception."

"Good, because I think you should know, I'm the jealous type." Tom
replied. "Was the Captain upset with my little stunt earlier?"

"Yes she was, but I asked her to let me handle it." Chakotay answered
while running a finger gently down Tom's chest.

"Won't she be surprised when she reads the report." Tom laughed.

"I think I'll conveniently leave certain details out of the final
draft." Chakotay then looked seriously at Tom. "Promise me you won't
do that again, you really did scare me you know. He took a deep breath
as he remember seeing Tom's broken body lying on the deck of the
shuttle. "While I was waiting for you to recover in sickbay, I could
hardly breathe - couldn't stand the thought of being on Voyager and
not being able to see you or hear your voice every day."

Tom placed his hand on Chakotay's chest and said "I won't do anything
that reckless again, promise. I have something to live for now." Tom
smiled at his lover as he began to trace his tattoo. "I love you,
remember? I'll never deliberately hurt you Chakotay, never."

"I love you too," and Chakotay claimed Tom's lips once more. He then
settled into his embrace and breathed a sigh of relief at being in the
arms of the man he loved. Within moments both were sleeping soundly
and seemed more content than ever.

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The End

FINIS (c)1998 JanitaMB