The BLTS Archive- Painted Desert Series
by Jackee C. (writerjc@jackeescorner.com)

---

Summary: This story covers the life and times of Kathryn Janeway and
Chakotay. I should also add two warnings: 1) They get home. 2) MAJOR
sap ahead.

Notes:  This story began as the Painted Desert Series back around
February/March of 1998. If anyone read any of the stories back then,
you will notice that this follows a slightly different order. Stories
1 and 2 will not appear for quite some time. Stories 3 and 4 will
appear in a slightly different way...  Also, I stopped posting the
story to newsgroups after part 5 because I was no longer able to label
the individual parts as stand alone vignettes and I wanted to present
the entire thing in one chunk. Now, months later, the chunk is larger
than I expected it to be. But, at last, it's finished.

Additional Note: To those who were on the mailing list for this story,
parts 6 and 7 (also known as 'An Abiding Sense of Home' and 'Shifting
Sands') have undergone massive rewrites.

Thanks and Gratitude to: Christina, for a whole host of reasons. ****
for a girlie scream or two that were totally unrelated to this story,
but helpful nonetheless. Gus, M.O.M. - you know why. Kim!
:::smooch:::: Pixie, for the awesome, awesome artwork. (of course you
have to go to my web page to see it!
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/1841/pds/pds.html ). Creative
newsgroups at large. And lest I forget, and how could I?: Em, Sara,
Elise and Cathy!

Disclaimer: The Characters are not mine... well, the ones you
recognize right off, anyway. No copyright infringement is intended.

Text between ~~  indicate italics.
Text between ^^^^ indicates a flashback 

---
INTRODUCTION 

~~ After the very painful loss of my parents, I began to realize what
a true treasure I'd been given. Not just that I'd been raised by and
had known two such extraordinary people, but that I'd been gifted with
a living legacy -- their stories. All of these many bits and pieces of
a life, so many little things that built into something more than the
finite creatures who've experienced them.  Even though I've missed
them terribly, I know that in a very important way, they will always
remain.

Today I passed on a gift to my own daughter. It was a small thing, and
I must admit that when mom first showed it to me as a child, even
surrounded by 24th century technology, I thought it was magical. The
little butterfly has always held my fascination. Mom gave it to me the
week she died. And dad passed his on to Kolopak. Among the stories you
find here, you will find the stories of Kathryn and Chakotay, of their
lives and their loves and their adventures. I share them with you as
they've shared them with me.

My name is Elizabeth Janeway-Johnson, daughter to Kathryn and
Chakotay, sister to Kolopak, wife to Edward, mother to Phoebe, Edward
and Mark, grandmother to Maria, Louisa, Tihoma, Robert, Emily and
Jason, aunt to many, cousin to many. Our lives, our legacy, our
stories live on. ~~

---
PROLOGUE

~~I felt that in telling the story of Kathryn and Chakotay, it would
be best if you heard from them first. When they first returned to the
Alpha Quadrant, there was much demand for the stories of their
journeys through the Delta Quadrant, and not just the official ones.
Eventually, of course, Mom published her memoirs which are available
through the Earth National Archives. Dad wrote his but he could never
seem to finish it. He always said that there were so many wonderful
things happening that he couldn't possibly end it. It became a family
joke after a time. Kolopak has undertaken the task of gathering my
father's writings in a collection that will also be made available
through the Earth National Archives. This  prologue is a reprint of
their words from those publications. It seemed fitting that they be
here together. ~~

They say it's lonely at the top and never more so than if you're a
Starfleet captain trapped in the Delta Quadrant. I began my journey on
the bridge after having blown up the Caretaker's array, our last link
home. Yet, oddly, there he stood, calmly supportive. Even in times of
anger he did that. I remember when he'd argued forcefully that
B'Elanna should be made chief engineer. He swore he'd not be my 'token
Maquis officer', so full of fire and fury, but even then, in his anger
and frustration, he was helping me -- and he told me so. But I
couldn't see it. I couldn't see a lot of things those days.

Time passed as it does: me pushing, sometimes dragging us toward that
longed-for goal; him quietly following along, ensuring that all the
troops fell in line. We developed a sort of routine, riding the waves
and braving the rapids where necessary. As a result, we circled our
camps, closed in until we were united. One whole, a team; them and us.
He and I.

I could tell you about our time on the planet that we named New Earth.
We drew very close then; those steps in the journey weren't quite so
subtle, and they marked both of us. Not in a bad way, mind you. During
that time I was... contented -- more so than I've ever been in my
entire life. Of course at first I balked, that's just my way -- never
giving in to anything easily. But happiness just kept seeping through.
It drew me in like an irresistible force.

Then it ended; before it could start, really. I can't communicate how
difficult those times were. It was like staring across a wide gulf,
desperately seeking something I could no longer have. But somehow we
made it through, we came out on the other side and we were victorious!

This man, my best friend, whose dimpled cheeks and laughing eyes could
melt hearts, mine in particular, had helped me through it all.
Somewhere between that today and this tomorrow he has become dearer to
me than life itself. There was no great revelation or fanfare, no
signs of warning, just subtle changes; gentle waters flowing over
rocks in a stream; dawn replacing the darkness, bringing light and
life to a lonely existence.

I can't imagine a day without him.
                      -- Memoirs of Kathryn Janeway*

A note from Chakotay:  

My yesterday was one of war drums; the sound of thunder and smoke and
fury on a dark day. These were the facets of my life; war and
destruction, the hope of a near impossible goal shining brightly as
reward. The reward should have been the unquestionable possession of
every man: freedom and security for home, family and the things we
held dear. But as it stood we battled for peace, and vengeance, and
justice. Some meaning to the chaos and destruction of our homes.

But there was no peace in the struggle; no meaning for the dead, no
solace for the lost. The days were dark and the storms raged on. To
surrender was to die. To give up was to banish hope of a future, to
relegate those who'd fallen to little more than refuse on the winds.
And yet our cause was just. We would fight another day.

But then, everything changed - almost in an instant.  

I, too, began my journey in the Delta Quadrant on the bridge of
Voyager, or rather, looking onto it. One moment I was on my ship, my
life as it seemed it had always been, the next, everything changed.
She appeared on my view screen, beautiful and strong and determined.
Almost immediately warnings sounded in my brain, and not only because
of the uniform she wore or what it stood for. On some completely
different level she scared the hell out of me.

I told myself that I would be careful, that I could handle this.
Content in my ability to do just that, we beamed over and accomplished
our mission. In the end, my ship was gone and she'd decided to blow up
the array. Her concern for the safety of the Ocampans undid me, even
in the face of what that would mean for all of us. Suddenly those tiny
warnings were blaring. But it was too late. I was lost to the force of
nature that was Kathryn Janeway.

Where I should have seen the vulnerabilities of her crew as a way to
gain leverage, I sought ways to strengthen. It's a shocking thing for
a warrior to find that he no longer wishes to fight; that that which
he once called enemy, he wishes to call friend. I told myself it was
logical to help, that it was for the good of both crews and that was
true enough. But the largest factor was that I was as much under her
spell as many of her crew. Her compassionate nature, combined with
strength and outright determination had that effect. They believed in
her, and so did I.

As her first officer I had a unique opportunity to study her. Beneath
the strength and bravery that she showed us every day, I saw something
that few others did. Kathryn. The woman behind the mask, that person
who was tired and afraid and homesick and lonely - the one who felt
the losses of her crew as keenly as her own. It was then that I ceased
to resist and simply gave myself over to helping her in anyway I
could. I pledged myself to making her burden lighter.

Of course, our methods of 'helping her' weren't always in agreement,
and sometimes my temper got the better of me. But we got through it --
developed a rhythm. It was strange, being stranded on New Earth almost
felt like the next logical procession.

I'd always been secure that I'd kept my feelings well hidden. And I
had no hope that she might reciprocate them. But something happened on
that planet. Something beautiful and precious. I told her how I felt,
handed her my heart on a platter because I trusted that she would deal
kindly with me. I was too far gone to do anything else.

The day Tuvok called was painful. The ache came in wave after wave
until I couldn't see straight, couldn't breathe. It all happened so
fast after that. She found ways to avoid talking about us the rest of
our stay, just threw herself into packing and collecting and
cataloguing.

When we returned, I didn't want to make things difficult for her. I
simply did what I'd always done. I followed her lead. To some degree,
I suppose I let her go. But my heart was always hers for the asking.
Somewhere between my yesterday and this today my Kathryn returned to
me. Fully. Completely.

She graces me with her loving smile every morning. And her simple
essence never fails to move me.  My today brings me love and a
happiness deeper than any I've ever known. My today brings me Kathryn
Janeway, love of my life. My heart. My peace.
		-- Words My Father Told Me, Chakotay's Songs

---
CHAPTER ONE: Hopelessly       

Waters running gently over rocks can smooth even the roughest edges,
and the darkness of night fades gently into dawn, bringing light and
life out of the depths of despair. These things happen quietly,
softly, while we go briskly about our lives. Today we are here, and
tomorrow see how far we've come and the distance is further than we'd
ever have imagined.
- Subtle Changes 
---

Chakotay stared at his office door for long moments after it slid
shut. He should have expected this, seen it coming. A small grin
played about his lips as he considered the implications of the scene
that had played itself out mere minutes before. He was anxious to know
how  *she* would react. He couldn't help but feel that whatever her
initial reaction, this would be good for the crew, and perhaps for he
and Kathryn as well.

When she acknowledged his chime he realized that he was still smiling.
Schooling his features, he entered to find her pouring over a report.
Her eyes lingered on the document briefly before turning toward him.

"What can I help you with, Commander?" she asked, saving her place and
setting the PADD on the desk.

Chakotay smiled slightly and seated himself. "Two crew members have
made a request." He watched her carefully, awaiting the moment that
realization would strike. Instead she frowned.

"What type of request?"

"A personal one." It was difficult to remain unaffected while her eyes
wandered over his face, touching his barely hidden grin, noting the
gentle mirth in his eyes.  The moment arrived and her eyes widened.
Confusion was suddenly replaced by mild distress.

"Who?" she asked, a bit sharper than he was sure she intended.

"Tom and B'Elanna," he answered, good humor faltering slightly. He'd
hoped it would be happy news. His eyes dropped to his hands
momentarily before they returned to hers. "They'd like you to
officiate."

She turned and gazed blindly across the room. "When?" The frowned had
returned, and Chakotay wondered just how bad this was going to be.

"In ten days. The anniversary of our entry in the Delta Quadrant." The
humor was gone completely now, replaced by concern. "If you don't
think it will..."

"No," she cut him off with a wave of her hand and forced a smile.
"This is what this ship needs. We've all become a family. And frankly,
I should be surprised it has taken this long."  The smile that spread
to her eyes was tinged with sadness. "This is probably just the
beginning. In spite of how happy I am for them, it raises some issues
that need to be addressed."

"Agreed," Chakotay nodded. He'd noticed for some time the number of
couples frequenting Sandrine's. Tom and B'Elanna's union would be the
impetus some of the others needed if they choose to take additional
steps in their relationships. "I think it'll only be a matter of time
before we have families on board."

"Yes." Kathryn rose and began to pace the small area near her desk.
"And that's what worries me, Chakotay. This ship doesn't have the
resources of Starfleet at its disposal and our capabilities are
limited. I've just gone through just a few of the status reports, and
we're running seriously low on three key elements. We're already
rationing replicator usage. Neelix does what he can in the mess hall.
Children will mean schools, play areas, child care... "

Chakotay paused, disturbed by her comments as well as her agitation.
"Whatever problems we face, we'll deal with. It's the normal
progression for humanoids to bond and have children, regardless of
where we happen to be stranded. You can't change that fact, Kathryn."

"I agree with you, Chakotay. It will be difficult. But, if we are in
this quadrant much longer, it may come to that. I won't ask people not
to have children, but limiting them isn't an unusual or unreasonable
request. And it's better to prepare the crew now. Having a ship full
of children out here is very risky. We don't have Starfleet to back us
up. We have a limited number of escape pods, if it came to that. I
wouldn't want to decide who could make it off ship and who would not."

Chakotay opened his mouth then closed it. This was a delicate subject
with her, he knew. "Kathryn," he said gently. "I don't think it's a
good idea to impose these restrictions."

"What would you propose we do?" she stared at him. "Our supplies
aren't limitless. You've read the reports just as I have. You know how
much of a strain it often is just to take care of the crew we have."

Chakotay's mind registered her direct request for his suggestions with
mild surprise. "Let them be a part of the solution," he said. "We have
some fine engineering minds on this ship. So we don't currently have
enough escape pods -- let them put in their ideas, perhaps we can
redesign them. Whatever the answer, we're all in this together. And no
matter how careful we are life *is* risky, in the Alpha or in the
Delta Quadrant. But they are choosing life, Kathryn. It goes on, no
matter what is happening around it."

She blinked and smiled a crooked smile. "All right, Chakotay. All
right." It was obvious that the situation was still bothering her, but
she seemed willing to let the crew help her work out the issue.
Turning toward the door she asked, "Shall we go break the news to the
happy couple?"

Chakotay grinned and nodded. 

The days that led up the first wedding on Voyager were filled with an
undertone of excitement and expectation. Two similar requests were
made within the first week of the announcement. Several crew members
helped with the design of the ceremonial chamber and others assisted
in preparing the ceremonial meal. Neelix was absolutely beside himself
with joy at acquiring the job of coordinator. Though the arguments
between the bride and said coordinator became daily ritual, eventually
a combined human/Klingon ceremony was decided upon.

To say it went off without a hitch would be an exaggeration. But
everyone survived it, and all had a wonderful time.

Harry literally glowed as best man. And an obviously touched Chakotay
gave the bride away. Kathryn Janeway presided over the ceremony with
dignity under-laid with an almost maternal joy at seeing two of her
beloved crew united. When the formal ceremony was over, the holodeck
was transformed for the reception.

B'Elanna and Tom, hand in hand, opened the celebration by making a
short speech. Chakotay's heart swelled as he watched the two of them
together, so obviously in love. B'Elanna made a special thank you to
him and Kathryn causing a hoot of applause from the happy gathering.
While everyone else turned to watch the happy couple move to the floor
for the first dance, Chakotay's eyes remained on Kathryn.

"I can't help but feel that they are our children and that they're
leaving the nest," she said softly, conspicuous moisture glowing in
her eyes. She held tightly when he reached a hand toward hers and
squeezed.

"I know what you mean..." he began before they were interrupted. It
was customary for the next dance to be led by the father of the bride
and the mother of the groom.

"Come on, old man," B'Elanna chided as she led the commander to the
center of the floor. Tom, obviously intelligent enough to not address
the Captain in like manner, merely smiled and offered his bent arm.

Chakotay with B'Elanna and Kathryn with Tom led the next dance. It was
a one of the few more sedate Klingon pieces, sang by Ensign Jason
Astley from Cartography.  Before the song ended Tom danced Kathryn
toward B'Elanna and Chakotay and requested his new bride.

The lights dimmed as the music changed to one of old earth origin,
also sung by Ensign Astley. It was much slower and more seductive than
the Klingon melody had been. As the newlyweds melted in one another's
arms, Kathryn and Chakotay were left staring at each other.

"Shall we?" Chakotay asked, as other couples began moving onto the
floor. His eyes dared her to say no. As she took his hand and stepped
into his arms, he wondered how they'd managed to spend five years in
the Delta Quadrant without ever dancing like this. And how was he ever
going to recover?

The Ensign's baritone worked its magic, lulling both him and Kathryn
into a delicious state. Bodies rocked smoothly, taken away by the
hypnotic melody.

**Now the one who's always played it safe, becomes another who lost
his way....**

As they continued to sway, his arms almost unconsciously drew her
closer. He couldn't deny any of the words of the song. And was he
mistaken or had she burrowed closer as well?

**I can't believe it, though I know it's true. I've hopelessly fallen
in love with you... **

He had to know. The music and its power made him bold, more sure of
his position. He pulled back slightly, knowing that she would do the
same. And their eyes met.

**I'm not gonna fight it, I'm gonna choose to hopelessly fall in love
with you... **

Hers were paradise itself, singing the words she'd never communicated.
And for a brief moment as the strains of the song died away, he was
sure she was admitting it to herself. Neither could say who made the
first move, or if it was even conscious. But just as their lips would
have touched, there was a loud outburst of applause. The spell was
broken and they separated guiltily, both murmuring something about the
wine.

Ensign Astley took his bows as the applause thundered on. B'Elanna and
Tom clapped belatedly, half-heartedly cursing the Ensign for not
having been able to draw the song out just a bit longer.

---
CHAPTER TWO : If I Call You Friend

~~Yesterday I stood in a dark and lonely place, no safe harbor or cove
of refuge. I stood alone. If then I could have known that each step,
each forward motion would bring me gently, irrevocably here, I would
have run, throwing fear aside and caution to the wind. Because here is
my cove of refuge, my place of strength, my safe harbor. Here I stand
not alone.
 -Excerpt Subtle Changes~~
---

He sat in a corner trying not to watch her. The corner was dim, and he
could easily have observed her undetected. But what was the point?
He'd already gone too far. At first he'd thought she'd reciprocated,
that she was ready. But then the expression in her eyes had turned to
disappointment and something else that defied definition and then
she'd hurriedly moved away. They hadn't been within ten feet of one
another since.

A slight fluttering from her table brought him out of his thoughts.
She was talking to Tom Paris, the happy groom, of all people. The way
she smiled and gently pressed her hand to his telegraphed the fact
that she was in 'nurturing-mode'.  And wasn't that part of what drew
him to her, he asked himself wryly.

"One of the many," he whispered aloud as he returned his attention to
the frenzy on the dance floor. What he saw there sent him immediately
into stunned laughter.

B'Elanna had somehow managed to convince Tuvok to join in the K'judzik
- a Klingon dance of questionable origin. While Neelix had insisted
that it was Klingon, Chakotay had his doubts. But he had to admit the
lyrics sung by the holo band were very appropriate. Something about
twisting the night away...

The Vulcan's vision must have been as exceptional as his hearing for
he looked directly at the commander. With an arch of his brows, he
turned several degrees and continued to dance. Chakotay quickly tried
to cover his laughter, but was unable to wipe the grin from his face.

A slight shadow fell over the table and he looked up to find Tom Paris
standing there. The lieutenant sank into a chair with only a smile and
a nod before gazing over the crowd.

"What can I help you with, Tom?" Chakotay asked with a grin that said
he wasn't fooled by the show of nonchalance. For a gambling man,
Paris's emotions were amazingly apparent. And though he had yet to
figure out the lieutenant's game, he knew he was up to something.

"I was just admiring my wife," he replied with a thoughtful smile.
"You know, just saying that word makes me feel...warm, full."

Chakotay smiled openly at the younger man's expression before uttering
a foreign sounding word. "It's from the language of my people. It's
one of the more intimate expressions for a bonded woman. When
literally translated it means 'she who is the rest of me', or 'she who
completes my life'."

Tom nodded as if memorizing it. Then continued, "I appreciate what you
did for B'Elanna today. She really looks up to you."

Chakotay merely nodded, his eyes telling how much the part he'd been
allowed to play meant to him.

Tom's eyes dropped to his hands before he plunged on. "But why are you
hiding out in this corner? Neither you or the captain have joined in
since the first dance. It looks a bit odd not seeing the two of you
together."

Chakotay was brought up short by the remark. He thought to deny the
observation, but knew it was true. He was hiding out.  His eyes were
again drawn to the woman across the room. Kim now occupied the seat
across from her. But something in the way the Ensign kept glancing
between Tom and B'Elanna, and the way B'Elanna motioned for the holo
band to keep playing, struck him as odd.

His gaze returned to Tom's as he put it all together. The younger
man's frank stare gave no apologies. "We all think it's wonderful," he
said. "You should go for it."

"I appreciate your concern, lieutenant. But this isn't a conversation
I should be having with you." The chilly undertone was unmistakable.

Tom raised a hand in self-defense. "I know. But B'Elanna and I are
happy. And we want the people we love to be happy too." With that he
rose from the table and moved toward the dance floor, a dejected slump
to his shoulders.

Chakotay's eyes were drawn beyond Tom when B'Elanna made an odd dance
move that put her back to Tuvok. She then made a quick, surreptitious
gesture to Tom that directed him toward the captain's table.

"Now what?" Chakotay murmured. He turned to see what B'Elanna'd been
so desperate to communicate to Tom, and came eye to chest with his
captain. Immediately flustered, he apologized and offered her a seat.
His eyes met hers hesitantly as he tried to gauge her reaction.

"It appears they've gotten to you, too," she murmured with a small
smile, then she sighed. "But they're right. Any rift between the two
of us influences the entire crew. I can't allow that." She paused,
obviously searching for the correct words.  Terrified that she was
about to attempt to 'define parameters' again, he cut her off.

"It was my fault," he said. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Kathryn stared across the table at him. "It wasn't all you, Chakotay.
I wanted it too."

Chakotay's heart soared at her admission. So he hadn't imagined that
part. His hand moved across the table for hers; but she pulled it
back, held it up as if to ward him off.

"But..." she continued. ''I'm the captain of this ship and I don't
have such luxuries." Her eyes held his as she continued to speak. "I
won't deny my attraction to you, Chakotay. But for right now, I can
only accept you on the level of my dearest friend. That's all I can
offer."

Chakotay smiled softly, she'd said 'right now'. There was hope. This
time when he took her hand, she didn't pull away. "I'll never ask for
more than you can give, Kathryn. As for my friendship, you don't have
to ask, it's yours." He squeezed her hand gently. "Do you remember the
story I told you?" he asked, his devilish grin back.

"Which one?" Kathryn teased, relief flooding her system. "You tell so
many."

"The one about the angry warrior..."

"Yes," she smiled softly. She remembered.

He leaned in closer and continued to speak conspiratorially, his words
muted from the crowd.

Around the dance hall a number of faces smiled a little wider. Several
sighed in happy relief. And one Vulcan twisted on, pretending not to
notice.

CHAPTER THREE: Butterflies

 ~~The ship seemed bathed in a warm glow after that night. Tom and
 B'Elanna were very much the focal point of the deepened sense of
 family that had infected much of the crew The feeling had settled in;
 it had every intention of staying. And so it was on that first
 morning that Tom returned to duty...  ~~

"Ten." Chakotay's expression was poised as usual, and his words softly
spoken. Only the slight twitch of one of Kathryn Janeway's fingers
testified to the fact that he'd actually been heard. And though he
punched dutifully at the central console, indicating that he was
running any number of diagnostic routines, the barely there hover of
dimple suggested otherwise.

"Six." This time his word was accompanied by a wicked side glance
toward the captain, completely blowing his cover.  His eyes held
gentle challenge.

Kathryn returned his grin with one of her own; ruthlessly self-
assured, confident of impending victory. The look was punctuated by
the  swish of the turbo-lift's doors opening. "You owe me," she
mouthed before smiling passed him toward her frazzled pilot.

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence today, Mr. Paris," she
said as he moved self-consciously toward his post. His expression of
half-concealed confusion only added to her mirth.

"Captain...I..." Tom stuttered, obviously missing something. He'd been
certain he'd gotten to all the chronometers in his and B'Elanna's
quarters that someone had mysteriously reset. Not to mention the
various 'situations' that had arisen that morning.

Kathryn Janeway laughed outright. "For the record," she glanced mildly
toward the Talaxian who hovered near Ops on some esoteric mission
involving morale and Mr. Kim, or so he said. "You had seconds to
spare." Both Kim and Neelix had 'busted' written all of them.

She turned in time to catch Tom's face light into a wide grin,
cockiness back full-force. "Well, in that case, it is good to have me
back, isn't it? Glad I could be of service," he tipped his head toward
Ensign Kim.

There was an abruptly aborted snicker, followed by the clearing of a
throat somewhere near the aft section of the bridge that went largely
ignored as the merriment was interrupted by the staccato beep of
Voyager's warning system.

"Report." Kathryn Janeway turned in her chair, command presence slid
effortlessly to the fore. The abrupt changed was mirrored by the rest
of the bridge crew. Duty called. Even Neelix made himself useful at
one of the spare consoles.

"It's a message beacon, Captain." Harry was the one who spoke. "The
beacon appears to be damaged, but part of the message is salvageable.
Audio-only."

"Let's hear it," she ordered, spinning to face the view screen which
displayed an ancient looking hunk of metal that had no doubt seen
better days, none of them recent. It was obvious that something beyond
the vacuum of space had gotten to the thing as tiny pock marks
littered nearly every visible surface.

Moments later static spilled onto the bridge, interrupting her visual
study. Amidst the static a male voice could be heard. "...Come one,
..ome all....st... a great...illustri... Wat.......Trading post. Any
and all of your ...eeds will be ...atisfied..."  A long series of
beeps and squeals continued to pour from the speakers before the
message began to repeat.

"Could you get any more, Mr. Kim?" Janeway asked, wincing against one
of the more piercing squeals. She waved a hand indicating that the
volume be cut. Kim's hands fairly flew across his console as he
manipulated his systems. Kathryn noted the way he suddenly perked up
as if he'd found something interesting.

"Don't keep us in suspense, Mr. Kim," she prompted. 

"I'm sorry, Captain. There was something encoded within the message.
It took several cycles for the computer to get all of it. It's a
series of co-ordinates. If this is correct, there should be a trading
post point five light years from our present position."

"Are we picking up anything on sensors?" Kathryn turned toward the
rest of her crew.

"Those co-ordinates are on the outskirts of an asteroid field," Tuvok
supplied. "There is no evidence that other vessels have passed along
this route recently. As long range sensors have detected several
inhabited planets within 20 light years beyond the asteroid field, may
I suggest that this 'trading post' is perhaps situated on the
outskirts of the territory?"

"That's as reasonable a hypothesis as any, Mr. Tuvok," Janeway smiled.
"Mr. Paris, set a course for the trading post."  She leaned toward her
first officer. "You have the bridge."

-- --

Kathryn's brow furrowed as she made a correction on her console and
gave the document another once-over. Satisfied that it was complete,
she prepared to transfer it and accompanying data to a PADD. The sound
of her door chime caused her to glance quickly at her chronometer. It
was time, she noted with a smile.

"Come in," she called, settling back in her chair. Her face spread
into a wide grin at the figure that strolled into her ready room,
obviously  working to maintain a stern expression.

"I should have known," he said, handing her another PADD to add to the
growing pile scattered over her desktop.

"Should have known what?" she played along, laughing out loud when he
rolled his eyes and headed for the replicator.

"You should know the answer to that one," he tossed over his shoulder
as he tapped in several codes.

She went happily back to work, but couldn't hold back one last barb.
"If you're going to be cryptic, Commander, I'm afraid I'm going to
have to --"  Her words were cut short by his startled exclamation. The
tell-tell flashing indicator told the story.

"Kathryn," Chakotay looked very sheepish. "Could I borrow a couple
rations? It seems a certain lieutenant made it with seconds to spare."

"Of course." She smiled sweetly and nodded her permission. Her eyes
followed his motions as he punched in her code and waited for the food
to appear. There was something missing. "Hey! Don't forget the other
condition of the wager." Chakotay gave a long suffering sigh, but
murmured softly into the replicator for the other item.

Kathryn's smile lingered as she contemplated her desk and what to do
with all those PADDs. She'd need them later, she decided and so
slipped them into a lower drawer. When she looked up she was startled
to find that not only had her first officer observed the stipulation
that he serve her lunch wearing an apron, but he'd replicated one with
the words 'Domestic Adonis' splashed across the front.  Kathryn barked
with laughter as they sat down to eat.

"So fill me in," she said, taking a bite of her sandwich. "What's the
latest?"

Chakotay grinned. "I think Neelix and Harry know that we know that
they ran the Tardy Tom pool. Tom thinks Harry reset his clocks so he
could win. Harry thinks it was Neelix. Neelix thinks it was Astley."

"So did you find out who did it?" Kathryn asked.

"Not yet," Chakotay said. "I'm closing in."

"It was B'Elanna," Kathryn spilled the beans, laughing. "It was a
complete accident!"

"You're kidding!" Chakotay laughed. And so it went. 

Tuvok didn't interrupt for an entire fifteen minutes. 

"Janeway here." There was still a bit of laughter in her voice when
she replied, as her first officer had taken the liberty of pointing
out the fact.

"Captain, we are approaching the trading post."

"I'm on my way."

Both senior officers entered the bridge and took their seats, sans
apron. The view on the screen was at once arresting and serene. Along
the outer edge of a large asteroid field sat a space station. It
appeared to have been literally built into the rock of an asteroid
that just hung in space, spinning slowly on an imaginary horizontal
plane.  Smaller chunks of rock and dust floated around the dimly lit
station, appearing to shimmer in an intricate dance. There was no way
Voyager could get any closer to the post.

Kathryn saw the immediate merit of the field -- it afforded an
otherwise defenseless outpost a modicum of safety. No large ship would
be able to enter the dancing asteroid field. And most smaller vessels
would not have the capability to travel the necessary distance to
mount an assault. As she watched the intricate dance of the flying
boulders, she wondered if some of their motions weren't orchestrated
by someone at the trading post. The boulders nearest Voyager appeared
to be moving closer together in formation.

"All stop."

"Aye," Tom cut their forward momentum.

"Hail them."

"No response."

Kathryn turned and gazed around the bridge. "That's a bit strange. A
trading post that doesn't answer hails, and why aren't there any other
ships here? What do our sensors tell us? Are there any lifesigns down
there?"

"There are 347 living organisms; insects, plants and creatures that
appear to be pets not withstanding . That number is also comprised of
5 distinct varieties of humanoid. There is a sizable supply of
dilithium as well as cardrillium, penterium and caskium. All are rare
substances in this region of the delta quadrant."

Kathryn rose to her feet as she contemplated how to proceed. Obviously
Voyager wouldn't be making the trip beyond the asteroids. But the
minerals and raw materials were too valuable to the ship's function to
simply let pass, even in the face of sending members of her crew into
such an uncertain situation. There was a reason first contact was said
to be the most dangerous of space-faring situations. "Transporters?"

"The asteroid field contains a substance that would make transporters
unreliable," was Tuvok's dry reply. What else was new? she wondered.

"Would this substance interfere with communicators?" Chakotay asked. 

"No, Commander," Tuvok replied. "Communications should be fully
functional."

Kathryn paced several more steps before coming to a stop near
Chakotay. "Assemble your away team, Commander. I think it's time we
say hello face to face. Our objective is trade, but be prepared for
anything." She gave him a meaningful look before turning to face the
view screen.

----

"Take it easy, Mr. Paris."

"What? I didn't scare you did I, Commander?" Tom's eyes remained
fastened on the view screen, but there was definitely a smirk beneath
his mask of concentration.

"Not at all, Lieutenant. There are simply safer means of navigating an
asteroid field." Chakotay shot the pilot a look. He knew that flying
like this in an asteroid field was something many pilots longed to do,
but it was his job to think about safety concerns -- even if he had
complete faith in said pilot's abilities.

Tom obviously saw things differently. "Since when did you get to be
such a fuddy duddy?" His smile softened the words.

"Since Captain Janeway will have my hide if I'm even remotely linked
to another incident involving damage to her shuttle craft," Chakotay
replied. "Not to mention a certain half Klingon who seems to be
concerned for your welfare as well. No accounting for taste, I
suppose."

Tom chuckled. "Chakotay. You know what you need?"

"Do I want to know?" Chakotay asked, almost afraid to ask.

Tom smirked evily. "A nice, long, slow, sweet -- "

"Swim on the holodeck?" Chakotay filled in. He'd decided that he
indeed didn't want to know what Paris had in mind.

"Yes. That's exactly what I meant." Tom shot him a resigned glance.

Chakotay cast a careful glance over his shoulder and hoped Ensigns
Bluelock and Tanner had been as oblivious to the conversation as they
appeared to be. Either way, the sensors beeped their proximity to the
trading post asteroid making the point moot. The view screen was
nearly filled with the image and details could be identified without
the aid of magnification. Several biosphere's were scattered about the
spinning asteroid, and what looked like docking bays were located all
along the outer edges.

"Take us in," Chakotay ordered, running another set of scans. Still
nothing. This apparent lack of activity should have set all sorts of
bells off in his mind, playing dead was not an usual tactical ploy;
but it didn't. He wondered at that briefly and then pushed it aside.
His gut had been known to be wrong.

The docking bay was small and dark, and obviously had not received
maintenance in the recent past. Bits of debris were scattered about
the claustrophobic confines. There was barely room for the back hatch
to swing open as four wrist lights cut through the darkness and fanned
out.

"There appears to be an opening here," Ensign Bluelock spoke. Chakotay
could just make out the yellow of his uniform several yards away.
Almost as if his breath had activated some mechanism, the 'door' swung
open spilling pale yellow light into the bay. Only a drab corridor
which extended in either direction lay beyond.

"This way." Chakotay directed that they proceed in the general
direction of the nearer biosphere. Tom followed, and the two security
Ensigns brought up the rear. At the sound of rapid movement ahead,
Chakotay raised a hand to signal a halt. He lifted his tricorder and
extended it ahead of them, while the others searched behind and to the
sides. Several minutes revealed nothing of concern.

"Perhaps a small animal of some kind," he concluded. "Let's continue." 

The rest of the journey along the corridor was uneventful, but the
readings of humanoid life forms grew nearer with each step. Finally
they reached an entryway designed as a low arch. The mechanism that
caused the door to slide completely shut was obviously jammed. A slim
three inch section remained open, revealing an almost black surface
beyond and what sounded suspiciously like music.

Bluelock and Chakotay braced along one side of the wall and forced the
doors apart. They discovered that the black surface was soft and
thick, almost like wool and extended beyond the arch and along the
wall. The humanoid figures appeared to still be several yards distant,
so they spread out in search of the edge of the curtain, or at least
an opening.

Tom found it first; his find followed almost immediately by a scream.

Chakotay was closer and arrived next. Security was fast on his heels.
It seemed that they'd stumbled into the back-stage dressing room of
what appeared to be this system's version of a burlesque show. One
half-undressed, and completely angry alien female launched herself at
Tom, meaty fists clenched for the attack.

Chakotay quickly stepped between the pair, his hands raised, hoping to
dilute the alien female's anger. Obviously quick stops weren't her
forte, or grace for that matter. He saw her eyes register confusion
and then surprise before first her fist and then her body slammed into
him. They both went down in a clatter of tangled limbs, clothing and
whatever female trappings happened to be in their path.

The stunned woman came to her feet just as a crowd of other women
rushed into the room. She babbled several words in quick, high-pitched
succession before the universal translator caught up. The piercing
shrieks were obviously an apology heavily intermingled with curses for
being caught in J'grenda's dressing room.

Chakotay gasped an apology of his own as his men helped him to his
feet. He carefully removed the remainder of silky garments from his
shoulders and introduced himself and his team and explained their
mission. He found that he had to flex his jaw after speaking. That was
really going to hurt later.

J'grenda and the other women laughed among themselves. "There's
another of those old beacons out there? I was sure the Craw had gotten
to them all."

"The Craw?" Chakotay asked. He was worried about the way they'd
laughed. Could it be that this place was not a trading post after all?

J'grenda bobbed her head in affirmation. "The Craw used to claim this
sector - before they were defeated by  the Veiliens, that is.  Who,
come to think of it I haven't seen for a while." J'grenda turned her
bulky form and called to one of the other females. "Gertji? Have you
seen that ambassador of yours lately?"

"Not for at least 200 revolutions," was the call from the back of the
room. Gertji, Chakotay noticed was changing from shimmering purple
garb, to a translucent yellow garment. Several of the other females
had gotten back to the business of dressing as well. He quickly
averted his gaze.

"Are your people open to trade?" Chakotay asked, eager to get out of
the room. "We have a list materials that we'd find useful."

J'grenda considered him for a moment. A look came over her face. "I'm
sure something could be arranged. I'll take you to Tahill." She pulled
on a floor-length cover up and led them toward a door.

As Chakotay turned to urge his team to follow, he noticed that one of
the women had sidled up to Tom. "Are you honor-bound?" he heard her
softly spoken words. Tom lifted a hand to display the shiny gold band
on his finger and explained its meaning. He then pointed toward the
Commander. Chakotay couldn't make out his words, but the woman smiled
broadly in his direction. Tom Paris was going to be very dead meat.

----

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead, Commander." Kathryn Janeway sat up straighter in her seat.
The commander was checking in, right on schedule.

"I've spoken with a Tahill Gilagra who seems to be the mayor, for lack
of a better word, of the people here. The main industry is
entertainment, whole families are involved. They used to be a booming
resort, but according to Gilagra, the majority of their clientele
haven't visited in nearly a year and many of their systems have fallen
into disrepair. He is willing to trade the ores we need for repair of
their communications system, as well as the system that controlled the
asteroid field. He feels that lack of advertisement will be the
downfall of his 'town'."

Kathryn could hear a bit of the suppressed humor in Chakotay's words.
But she decided not to press. "Very good, Commander. Do I need to send
B'Elanna down?"

"No, Captain. That won't be necessary. It's a fairly simple system,
I've got Paris on it now. I believe the two of us can probably take
care of the problem. The broken link for the asteroid system is on one
of the other stable asteroids in the field. You might want to put
B'Elanna on that one. I'm sending the co-ordinates through now. Also,
Captain, you should know that Gilagra suggested that we visit the
Veilien home world. They seem to be the reigning power in this sector
and have a large holding of mining operations that may suit our
needs."

"All right, Chakotay. Anything more?"

"No, Ma'am. We should wrap this up as soon as we have the ores loaded
on the shuttle. Chakotay out."

----

Chakotay glanced at the chronometer readout on his tricorder. It was
several hours into Beta shift, and though Kathryn had probably already
had dinner, he decided to wait. B'Elanna had no doubt long completed
the repairs on the asteroid system, but it was the people of what Tom
had dubbed 'party town' that were slowing their progress. They broke
into song and dance, as well as any other form of entertainment at the
drop of a hat. That along with the fact that one purple-clad burlesque
girl was after him led him to take a walk through one of the market
areas with J'grenda while Tom finished the remaining communication
panel in Tahill's personal control room. Bluelock and Tanner were
enjoying a meal with said purple-clad lady.

"That is an interesting marking," J'grenda commented making a gesture
toward his face. He'd come to appreciate her brusque manner. She
seemed to be one of the few on this rock who were willing to do
anything in a reasonable amount of time. She handed him a drink from
one of the stalls as she waited for his reply.

"It is a mark of my people," he explained. She listened intently as he
told the story behind it and of his father. When he was done she
simply smiled and pointed to his other eye.

"What of the other? Will it cause you trouble?" 

Chakotay frowned slightly, raising a hand gingerly to his face. He'd
noticed the swelling earlier and dismissed it. After the way he'd
fallen, it wasn't the only tender and/or swollen spot on his body. It
had obviously darkened into a black eye.  "No," he said finally,
offering a smile. No wonder Paris had smirked every time they were
together.

"Your honored-one will not mind?" she pressed.

"I'm not honor-bound, J'grenda." He was sure she knew that from her
associate's actions.

"But you are intended?" she asked. "No one turns down Gr'rita. She is
irresistible." She thought for a moment. "Unless you prefer... I could
arrange...."

Chakotay was hard pressed not to choke on his drink. "No," he said.
"There is someone special."

"Aaah," J'grenda smiled. "We get to the root of the matter. Tell me,
Commander Chakotay, does she prefer delicate things?"

"Pardon?" Chakotay wasn't sure what to make of that. Sure, the women
here were all in excess of six feet, but he'd never have described
himself as 'delicate'.

"A gift for your someone special," J'grenda clarified. "Come, I will
show you. But you must be able to give it to her within 2 and a half
revolutions or it will no longer work completely. "

Chakotay followed the towering woman and listened intently as she
explained the workings of the device. She guaranteed it would draw him
closer to his 'special someone'.

When they returned, Tom had completed his assignment with Tahill. All
that remained was to load the remainder of he ore. Many of the
townspeople were very appreciative of the work that had been done in
their behalf and so joined in the effort of loading the shuttle. That
done, they insisted on seeing them off with a dance, a song and a
round of a brewed beverage. Many followed them to the shuttle, singing
loudly all the way.

In spite of the prevalence of the party atmosphere, Chakotay was
surprised to find that the landing bay lights were functioning, and
that someone had even cleared away most of the debris. After many hugs
and passing of the brew, they were on their way. Within minutes,
thanks to a newly functioning asteroid control system, they were back
onboard Voyager.

Chakotay allowed the rest of the team to retire while he performed the
post flight checks. He was sure Tanner and Bluelock would want some
rest - Gr'rita was tiring just to look at, and no doubt Tom would want
to be with his wife. That done, he moved stiffly along the corridor
toward his quarters.

Food was no longer a priority. It was near midnight. Kathryn was
surely in bed, if not sleeping then pouring over some report or other.
All his body craved was a steaming hot real-water shower. He peeled
out of the shirt that seemed to be sticking to every painful point
along his aching back, kicked off his boots and made a bee-line for
the sink to splash cool water on his face. The 'shiner' over his right
eyes was a doozy and by morning would only be worse.

He sighed, he really should have the eye looked at. Pulling on a loose
shirt, he headed out of the door. He'd taken several steps along the
corridor when a flooding wave of exhaustion washed over him. The
energy to confront the EMH evaporated. Maybe the black eye would keep
till morning. He'd just have to go to sickbay before reporting to the
bridge. Yeah, that was what he would do. It took his sluggish body
several moments to actually get up the momentum to turn around and
head back to his quarters.

He was startled when someone suddenly stepped in his path.

---

Kathryn Janeway was poised half out of her door. A quick smile flew
into pace, but then died away as she got a good look at the man
standing before her.  "Chakotay? What the hell happened down there?"

Chakotay grinned weakly. "I was saving that part for the report." 

"Fascinating reading, I'm sure," Kathryn said with a wry grin. She
pulled him into her quarters, he was obviously dead on his feet.
"Sit," she ordered, moving several PADDs and her afghan out of the
way.

He obeyed, immediately sinking into the sofa with a bone-weary sigh.
"You wouldn't believe these people Kathryn. Boundless energy for just
about anything, and I do mean anything."

"Oh, I want the story on that, Commander. But first tell me how my
first officer ended up with a black eye on a routine trading mission.
What did they do, wrestle you for it?"

Chakotay laughed half-heartedly, then groaned. "Oh Kathryn, I hurt."

"Tell Mama Janeway where," Kathryn said with a sympathetic tone.

"Will you kiss it and make it all better?" he asked, shrugging the
shirt off to show her the rest of his battle scars.

"I think we should let the Doctor have that honor," she said, looking
him over. A worried frown creased her brow and she looked at him more
closely. "Chakotay?"

Chakotay pouted in exaggerated disappointment as his eyes began to
droop, he obviously hadn't heard her. He reached for a corner of her
afghan and pulled it over himself like a small child. "Not leaving
till you kiss it and make it better," he mumbled his voice had gone
very soft, soft even for him.

"Chakotay?" Kathryn called his name again, more firmly. "Maybe we
should get you to sickbay."

"Too tired," he slurred as his body began to slide sideways on her
sofa.

"Commander." No response. She sighed. "Janeway to Emergency Medical
Hologram."

"EMH here. How may I help you, Captain?" the Doctor's terse reply
suggested that he had been otherwise occupied.

"Doctor, report to my quarters. I'd like you to check on Commander
Chakotay."

"Of course, Captain." 

During the minute it took for the Doctor to arrive, she adjusted the
commander's position on her sofa. The manner in which he'd slumped
would probably only serve to exacerbate his injuries.

The holographic doctor entered on her command and move immediately
toward his patient. As she glanced around the room and noticed
Chakotay's shirt on the floor near the sofa, and the way he lay
beneath her afghan she felt doubly obliged to offer an explanation.
"He's just returned from the away mission," she said. "I stepped out
into the corridor and found him half-leaning against the wall and so
brought him in here."

The Doctor did not comment, but ran his tricorder over the unconscious
figure. He made quick work of the black eye and other bruises along
his back. "He's suffering from exhaustion and mild cranial trauma.
I've injected him with a sedative. He should wake up with slight
stiffness. Give him this," he handed her a hypo-spray. "He should be
ready for duty in the morning."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn said.

"Of course, Captain." He said and disappeared.

It was all the things he hadn't said that told the story. If nothing
else, the Doctor was the worse gossip on the ship. And as Tom Paris
had a shift in sick-bay the next afternoon, she feared the worse.

Looking back toward the sleeping man on her sofa she decided to leave
him there. Alpha shift was coming very early in the morning unless she
got some sleep.

---

Chakotay opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was the coffee
table. That wasn't his coffee table, or his pastel flower arrangement,
or even his sofa for that matter, he thought, looking more closely at
the surface beneath his face. He sat up quickly and caught sight of
the shirt lying near his feet. The memory of precisely how he'd gotten
there was a bit foggy, and the whir of the sonic shower was far from
reassuring. He wondered if the prudent course of action would  be to
just quietly leave.

As he moved to stand, something poked into his leg. He shifted and
reached into his pocket and pulled out a small rounded case. All of
the memories flooded back. He almost chuckled as he realized he'd
fallen asleep on the captain's sofa. He should have known better than
to think anything else had occurred.

"Good morning," a voice interrupted his contemplation of newfound
memories. He startled slightly.

"I'm sorry," Kathryn grinned, her robe wrapped tightly around her
waist. "Here," she injected him with a hypo-spray. "The Doctor said
that it will help the stiffness."

Chakotay smiled his thanks. He had been a little stiff, although he
might have attributed it more to sleeping on the sofa. He returned her
morning greeting.

"What do you have there?" Kathryn asked.

He grinned. "It's a gift for you."

"Oh really?"  Kathryn laughed. "What is it?" 

"Patience," Chakotay teased.  "First we have to imprint it. Make it
yours." He smiled mischievously as he spoke. "Like this." He carefully
placed the round case in the center of his palm. He then raised a brow
questioningly as he reached for her hand. She offered it with a smile.
He placed it over the case so that their hands completely enclosed the
device.

"Now, close your eyes. Breathe deeply."

Kathryn looked at him mildly in askance but obeyed.

There was a slight tingle in his palm. "It's done," he said. Kathryn
took her palm away and rubbed it, she'd felt the tingle too.

Chakotay smiled in reassurance. "That's just part of the imprint," he
said. He gently separated the disk so that it formed two thinner disks
and handed her one. "Blow on it. Like this." He demonstrated. As he
did so a sparkling of lights appeared from the center of the disk and
formed into the shape of a large winged butterfly. It's wings were
colored in deep rich colors. The little visage flew before him, faint
sparkles followed in its wake.

"Oh, Chakotay," Kathryn breathed. "It's beautiful."

Chakotay smiled. "Do yours." She did and another butterfly appeared,
this one in gentler shades. Chakotay began to hum, and the little
creatures appeared to move in time with the tune. Their butterflies
danced and flitted around each other for several minutes before
evaporating.

Kathryn stood spellbound. "Chakotay, that was beautiful. I don't know
what to say..."

Chakotay didn't either. He suddenly felt self-conscious standing
shirtless before his captain who herself was dressed only in a robe.
"You just blow on it to do it again," he stumbled slightly over the
words as he slipped into his shirt and fumbled with the buttons.

Kathryn smiled gently. "Thank you, Chakotay."

"You're welcome." His hands stilled on the buttons. Their eyes locked
briefly. "I should go," he said.

"Yes," she nodded, then grinned wickedly. "If you hurry, I'll buy you
breakfast. I know how ration-poor you are."

"Has no one ever told you not to spend all your replicator rations in
one place?" Chakotay asked.

"If my calculations are correct, Commander, I seem to be spending them
all on you."

"And that's just as it should be," he smiled and moved through the
door, laughing that he'd gotten the last word.

He froze at the sound of a startled gasp. Ensign McNeill stood with
both hands over her mouth as her eyes traveled over his sleep ruffled
hair, the partially open shirt and his bare feet. One needed little
imagination to know where her thoughts were going. Clearing his
throat, he smiled a polite 'good morning', and headed for his
quarters. He expected the worse.

---

Kathryn Janeway sat hunched over her desk fiddling with the disk
Chakotay had given her. She'd run every analysis she could think of
and still was no closer to figuring out how the thing worked. She
wasn't sure whether to be perturbed or intrigued. Setting the index on
the tricorder, she held the disk aloft and blew on it. Sure enough the
little butterfly came out for a dance, its colors seemed slightly
different each time. The tricorder registered nothing.

"Come," she called at the chime at her door. It was time for her and
Chakotay's daily lunch appointment.

Chakotay came to an abrupt halt before continuing on into the room.
"Less than one day and you're already trying to figure out what makes
it tick?" His tone was mildly tolerant.

"I'm a scientist Chakotay," she murmured. "It's what I do."

"I'm a scientist, too, Kathryn," Chakotay said with a secretive smile.
"But there are some things you can't see with the eyes of science."

That got Kathryn's attention. "You know how it works, don't you?" she
asked.

"Guilty."

"J'grenda told you didn't she?" Kathryn asked, her words accompanied a
smirk.

"That knowledge can be yours, for a price." He smiled, his eyes
teasing unmercifully.

"Name your price," Kathryn said.

"Lunch. Apron of my choice."

"You're far too easy, Commander," Kathryn shot back. "Okay, deal. Now
spill it."

Chakotay explained as he programmed the meal. "Have you ever blown
soap bubbles?"

"Of course," Kathryn nodded. She'd also analyzed why they remained
intact, the ratio of pressures internal and external to the bubble and
a hundred other details that would no doubt cause some to question her
sanity.

"The butterflies work on the same principle. There's a tiny device
within the disk that has been imprinted with our DNA as well as a
sample of our bio-chemical signatures. It uses those little bits of us
and forms what for all intents and purposes equates to a bio-chemical
soap bubble. When we blow on the surface, we provide the air. The
sparkles represent the leaking air, our differing patterns provide the
opposing charges to hold the form balanced enough to remain cohesive.
When all of the air is spent, the image evaporates. That's why you
weren't able to find anything with the tricorder, because all the
materials the device uses are made up of molecular bits and pieces of
you and I. It won't even work for anyone else."

Kathryn sat back and crossed her arms. It was an incredibly simple
principle, but how had they gotten the bubble to remain cohesive with
only air and bio-chemical substances? Where did it draw the energy
from? How did it convert it? Did it convert it? Would it work for
someone with a similar DNA pattern? She looked up as Chakotay cleared
his throat, and gestured his head toward the finished replicator.

Kathryn threw him a look but moved to get the food and the apron. "So
fill me in, any news?"

Chakotay shook his head, frustration creeping across his face.
"Nothing. Not a whisper. It's almost as if it never happened."

"Really?" Kathryn frowned placing the tray on the desk and going back
for the apron. "How can that be with both the Doctor, Tom and Ensign
McNeill in the know? It should have been all over the ship by the
start of Alpha Shift."

"I know," Chakotay agreed with a frown. "We were caught all but red-
handed. I think this is going to take some more --" His frown spread
into a wide grin when he caught sight of Kathryn Janeway in his apron.
"May I?" he asked, nodding toward the words across the front.

Kathryn looked down at the large black letters which read 'Kiss the
Cook'. She grinned wickedly. "Be my guest, Commander. I'm of the
belief that replicators are due affection, too."

---
CHAPTER FOUR : An Abiding Sense of Home            

~~"Someone once asked me how it felt to be lost for so long. It
immediately reminded me of something I'd  heard: 'Home is where the
heart is.' I believe that as long as I was with Kathryn Janeway, no
matter if it were in some remote part of the galaxy, or surrounded by
hostiles in the middle of some alien bazaar at high noon, or even in
the darkest days of command disagreements, I could never be lost. Home
is where my heart is."
- Words My Father Told Me, Chakotay's songs~~ 
---

"Point!" B'Elanna yelled as she backhanded the flying disk in the
Commander's direction. It sailed over his right shoulder, but he spun,
caught it and  returned it to the young Chief Engineer's side of the
court.

"A bit too sure of ourselves?" Chakotay taunted, half out of breath.
"Must be that husband of yours rubbing off."  Her reply was a laughing
snort.

"I think you've been practicing, Chakotay. Either that or I simply
have been remiss in mopping up the floor with you." She shot the disk
back quickly toward the opposite side of the court, obviously hoping
to catch him off guard. It didn't work, he anticipated her move and
returned the shot easily.

"You've definitely been practicing," she said, diving to make the
return.

Chakotay simply laughed, and with a backhand motion, fired the game-
winning shot.  He really hadn't been practicing, all just felt right
with his world. Voyager hadn't been attacked by a hostile alien
civilization for over a standard month, the crew was healthy and
happy, the ship's systems were all functioning normally, and one
Captain Kathryn Janeway was showing signs of coming around.

B'Elanna turned and looked at him, shaking her head. "You've got it
real bad, you know that?" Her words were spoken with mild reproach,
but her eyes were full of affection.

"Got what bad?" Chakotay asked, turning to gather his towel and
equipment. He knew what she was talking about, but wasn't going to
discuss it with  her. Not because he wanted to deny it, or that he was
ashamed, but the tentative hope that there might be a future for he
and Kathryn Janeway was simply too precious, too delicate to voice for
fear that it might evaporate like a mist. He was surprised when she
let it drop, switching to ship's business.

"Vorik has made several suggestions for modifying the shuttle craft."
There was something in her tone that hinted that there was more to her
statement.

"Modifications?" Chakotay fell into step beside her as they headed out
of the holodeck. Maintaining working shuttles was always an issue.
Any suggestions or improvements would be immediately reviewed.

"It's not a half bad idea," B'Elanna continued. "It involves a homing
sequence for away missions. If something were to happen to the pilot,
the shuttle would automatically return to Voyager."

"What if some of the team are off the shuttle?" Chakotay asked. It was
a logical question, one of the first that the review board would ask.

"The onboard sensors track combadge signals and life signs. It
determines if the surroundings are safe, the location of all logged
passengers and their condition, if necessary. There is an incredibly
long list of protocols that must be met before auto-return begins.
There is also a voice recognition pattern, in case the pilot is
injured. It can even be activated from Voyager. It really appears to
be well thought-out."

Chakotay's brows rose as he identified the thing he'd noted in her
voice. B'Elanna was impressed with Vorik's work, and was having
difficulty coming to terms with it. The young Vulcan officer always
seemed to be in her way. He smiled and suggested they submit the
proposal at the next staff meeting.

B'Elanna nodded her agreement, looking slightly confused as she
continued speaking. "I'd like to bring Vorik too, since it was his
idea and because he tested the models."

"Sounds good," Chakotay agreed.

---

"Chakotay to Bridge. Shuttle A is a go." Kathryn looked up from her
station as Chakotay's voice sounded over the bridge. She turned toward
B'Elanna, who stood nearby monitoring. The half-Klingon nodded once
and tapped in several more commands.

"Acknowledged, Commander. Shuttle B, what is your status?"

"We're ready to rock-n-roll, Captain," Tom's voice sounded over the
link.

"Great," B'Elanna muttered only loud enough for the Captain to hear.
"More new words for Vorik." Janeway stifled a laugh; the young
Ensign's vocabulary was getting to be very interesting of late.

"It's all yours Mr. Chakotay, proceed when ready. Janeway out." There
were several moments of silence as the image of the two shuttle craft
exiting the shuttle bay flashed across the screen.

"Both shuttlecraft have been successfully deployed, Captain," Tuvok
spoke unnecessarily.

Kathryn let out a satisfied breath. Both shuttles had been fitted with
the new systems in just under two days. She was very proud of her crew
and the way they continued to show how well they worked together. They
were dedicated to the ship and to one another.

"Mr. Kim, how will the test parameters alter our E.T.A. to the Veilien
home world?"

"Not much, Captain," Harry responded. "We should reach Veilia in 37
hours and 22 minutes, barring any difficulties."

Kathryn smiled. Difficulties were just par for the course. Only, over
the last month it seemed as if they had been granted a reprieve. She
hoped it lasted, but she wasn't counting on it. Still, it was a nice
to have a breather. With a skip in her step, she turned the bridge
over to Tuvok and retired to her ready room.

Her eyes fell to the mug sitting on the edge of her desk. Chakotay
must have left it the night before as they'd discussed final details
on the test flight. They'd decided that Vorik and Tom would pilot
shuttle A, while Chakotay and Lieutenant Briggs would take the second
shuttle. He'd kidded that with he and Vorik off-ship, the shuttlecraft
incident rate would plummet. She'd laughed and hit him with a pillow.
He really was silly at times.

She found that her hand strayed to the butterfly disk, as she'd taken
to calling it. With a small smile, she pulled the device from her
pocket and fingered its shimmery surface - but there was something
different. Purposeful strides took her to her desk to retrieve a
tricorder. There was definitely something changed in the device, some
subtle shading of coloring to be sure, but also something more.
Minutes later, when she muttered a distracted, "Come in," it had faded
to a deep shimmery gray.

"Captain."

She looked up to find Tuvok offering a PADD. His eyes slid over her
desk, missing nothing. They lingered ever so slightly on the mug, but
the butterfly disk caught his full attention. She smiled at his
unspoken curiosity and handed it to him.

"If you blow on it, it forms a sort of bio-chemical projection. It's
normally silvery, but the colors have begun to darken," she gave a
small embarrassed chuckle at being caught 'playing'. "I was trying to
figure out why. No luck, I'm afraid."

Kathryn watched at the Vulcan turned the device over in his palm. She
nearly laughed out loud when his brow furrowed and he blew on it. Of
course, nothing happened.

"It won't work for you," she explained, grinning. "Watch this."
Retrieving the device, she blew across the darkened surface and waited
for the light show. It did not disappoint; the little butterfly-like
shape lifted from the surface of the disk and began to flutter before
them.

"Intriguing," Tuvok murmured as it shimmered away. "I'm curious. Why
would it not work for me?"

Kathryn shut down her tricorder as she explained the principle.  "It's
been imprinted with specific DNA patterns. Those patterns are
recognized, and when air is blown across the surface of the disk, it
forms the butterfly creature. It will only work for the DNA patterns
imprinted upon it." She suddenly felt slightly embarrassed as she
finished the explanation. She had no desire to explain whose DNA
patterns would cause the disk to work.

"An interesting device." Tuvok raised a brow and paused for a beat. "I
have not seen an item of its like before. Where did you acquire it?"

"It was a gift," she said simply.

"Intriguing," Tuvok said again and left the room.

---

Chakotay stowed the last of his equipment and exited the shuttle bay.
The test flight had been a complete success - Vorik's calculations
were flawless.  He would be sure to suggest a commendation for the
young Vulcan. It looked as if he were finally coming into his own;
growing up, like many among their young crew.

Alpha shift was several hours passed, but it was still early. He
wasn't due to meet the Captain for dinner for another hour. So he
decided to meditate for a few minutes, extended time in shuttles
always made him feel edgy. He was surprised when he rounded the
corridor near his corridors and nearly collided with the Captain. She
held a tricorder in her hand.

"Chakotay, your disk, let me see it." Her voice was brimming with
excitement.

"What is it?" Chakotay had to laugh as he dug the device out of an
inner pocket and handed it to her. Kathryn Janeway was nearly
bouncing.

She kept him in suspense for a few moments longer as she ran a
spectral analysis. "I knew it!" she exclaimed, beaming in his
direction. "Come on!" She grabbed his hand in a very un-captain-like
manner and pulled him toward the turbo lift. She seemed to catch
herself after a moment, and released him.

"Dare I ask where you're taking me?" Chakotay teased, a wicked glint
in his eyes. He laughed when Kathryn elbowed him and directed his
attention to the tricorder's display. He shook his head, not
understanding. The device basically said that the disk should appear
silvery gray to the visual spectrum of the average human.

"No, it's changing," Kathryn insisted. She pointed toward an indicator
in the corner of the read-out. The tricorder was adjusted so as to
determine minute differences in the color of the disk. The scale was
fine-tuned to the extreme low end, but it was indeed increasing ever
so slightly. Chakotay frowned.

"Why is it doing that?" he asked, taking the tricorder and making a
few adjustments.

"Ah, so *now* you're curious? Whatever happened to things you can't
see with the eyes of science?" Kathryn mocked with a laugh as the
turbo-lift stopped on deck one. Both fell into a composed silence as
they exited the turbo-lift and entered the ready room.

"I never said I wasn't curious," Chakotay continued as soon as the
doors shut behind them. "But sometimes the journey is just as exciting
as the discovery."

"Oh, I know what you were discovering," Kathryn picked up her disk
from the center of her desk and placed it atop his. The tricorder's
display immediately topped out in the visible silver spectrum. "Our
lovely butterfly friends are sophisticated tracking devices."

"Really?" Chakotay was stunned. He leaned in to examine the tricorder
data with her. She  nodded and adjusted the device to display the
results of her impromptu experiment. He enjoyed seeing her like this,
so excited at some new bit of information. She was like a child with a
new toy.

"While you were off ship the disk began to darken," she was still
explaining. Though her words were registering some place in the back
of his mind, the excited swing of her hair, the gentle whiff of her
shampoo,  the light dancing in her eyes all took higher precedence.

"But then you came back and the disk began to brighten. It's one of
those things that isn't visible to our... eyes...." Her voice trailed
off as she noticed him noticing her. Before he could discover whether
his next words should be an apology, a confession or a joke, the door
chimed. They were both visibly startled.

She backed away several steps and whispered a distracted "Come in."
Chakotay folded his hands behind his back and willed his heart rate to
return to normal. His knowledge of Vulcan hearing did not help when
Tuvok crossed into the ready room and gazed measuringly at him.

"Captain. Commander." Tuvok's tone was as unaffected as usual. "A
situation has come to my attention."

Kathryn's eyes shot quickly to Chakotay's before flitting away. He
frowned slightly. He honestly didn't know what to make of her
reaction. Pushing his confusion aside, he forced himself to focus on
Tuvok's words.

"I felt that it would be prudent to discuss the situation with both of
you as it involves the future of the crew." His eyes moved blandly
from one to the other of them as he spoke. He could easily have been
giving a lecture on the proper way to take down an intruder.

Kathryn immediately slipped into command-mode as Chakotay had known
she would and offered coffee all around. Stalling perhaps? Tuvok's
dryly spoken words held a very interesting under current. Tuvok
declined the coffee, but accepted the seat.

Kathryn settled behind her desk and took charge of the conversation,
requesting that Tuvok continue.

Not one to mince words, Tuvok got right to the point. "There are two
crew members who have formed an attraction for one another," he paused
and Chakotay could have sworn that he'd cast a surreptitious gaze
between the two of them. "Should their relationship develop further,
there may be circumstances that might lead to some difficulty as
theirs would be an unusual pairing. It would not be without precedent,
however."

Chakotay couldn't stop himself, he looked directly at the Captain,
attempted to gauge her reaction.

"It is my opinion that a pairing between the two individuals would be
mutually beneficial as they work well together. The item that may be a
cause for concern is that both crew members are in the same
department."

Kathryn settled back in her chair, focusing steadily on her security
officer. For a moment her gaze was intense, as if she meant to stare
into his being to determine his motivation, and then she sighed.
"While there is no specific rule against relationships between members
of the same department, there are principles to abide by, especially
where one stands to command the other. And it is generally frowned
upon. Everyone on this vessel who has attended the academy is aware of
these restrictions."

Tuvok didn't seem satisfied with that response. "Might I suggest,
Captain, that many protocols have been adapted in order to accommodate
the smooth operation of this ship. For example, surely it is against
the principle of Starfleet's regulations to have those who would be
considered enemies of the Federation heading up departments critical
to ship's functioning as well as entrusting these with classified
information. Yet, none, when examining your decision to do so could
argue that it was the incorrect choice."

Chakotay could have kissed Tuvok. He shoved aside a mental grin at the
Vulcan's likely reaction and waited for Kathryn's reply. Surely she
wouldn't argue in the face of Vulcan logic.

But her expression was stiffly composed and her voice mildly
reproachful when she replied. "Tuvok, what are trying to tell me?"
Chakotay's heart began to sink.

"I was merely suggesting that the humanoid need for companionship is
very strong, and that the protocols that have been put in place were
put there for the protection of those who follow them. However, if the
situation should arise where those same protocols work to the
detriment of the individuals that they were designed to protect, it
would only be logical, as well as *human* to adapt."

Kathryn wasn't giving an inch. Chakotay even thought that there was a
hint of anger in the set of her shoulders. He could understand why.
She would never have thought that she and Tuvok would be on opposite
sides of the fence on this issue She was in the position of having to
defend herself against someone she'd thought an ally.

"Why didn't these crew members simply come to me?" she asked softly.

Imperceptibly, some small tension eased. "Although that would have
been the proper course to approach you, or Commander Chakotay, they
decided to approach me because of a...commonality."

Now Chakotay was confused. Kathryn didn't fare any better. "Who are
these crew members?" she asked, completely at a loss.

"Ensign Romane and Lieutenant T'Pura," Tuvok enlightened her. "They
wish to bond. However both are assigned to the Multi-Synchronics
Development laboratory. Shall I inform them that their request is
denied?"

Touche. Chakotay frowned as Kathryn quickly recovered. "No. You're
right Tuvok. Things have changed out here, and we've had to adapt.
Give them both my congratulations." Her smile was quick, and a bit too
bright. She risked a glance toward him. He only hoped she saw his
support in that brief moment.

"Very well, Captain. Commander." Tuvok moved to his feet and headed
toward the door.

Silence engulfed the room as the doors slid shut. Kathryn seemed to
consciously unclench her fists before turning to him. "Those reports
aren't going to read themselves," she said with a weak smile.

"Kathryn -" Chakotay didn't want to leave like this. He was having
serious second thoughts about Tuvok's methods. He'd played the
conversation like a game of chess, and he'd backed the captain into a
corner. A very touchy corner. She was obviously still smarting.

"Dismissed, Commander." She spoke softly, focusing intently on her
terminal

He stood watching her several seconds; she needed to win this battle.
"Captain." He acquiesced and left the room.

-- --

Kathryn stood outside of Chakotay's quarters for several moments,
gathering herself. She'd thought of canceling this dinner, but now was
as good a time as any for what needed to be done. Why had she let it
slip so far? Removing a last imaginary speck from her uniform, she
touched a finger to the door chime. It opened almost immediately to
reveal Chakotay standing directly before her.

She took a step back, unprepared to find him so close. She tried not
to notice the slight disappointment in his eyes as they took in her
uniform. He'd shed his in favor of casual slacks and a soft shirt. His
'domestic Adonis' apron was thrown over the back of a chair.

"I hope you're hungry," he said with a small smile, gesturing for her
to enter and stepped back out of her way. The table was already set
and the food waiting. "The menu consists of spoon bread, Rican bean
salad and Ginnel ale," he bowed slightly, before allowing a full-
fledged smile to wash over his face. "My grandmother used to make the
best spoon bread. I'll have to make the real thing for you some day."

He pulled back her chair and ushered her into a seat.

Kathryn eyed him regretfully but allowed him to seat her. Normally the
wonderful smells would have tempted her to dig in, but at the moment
food seemed less than appetizing.

Chakotay made no comment on her reticence, but launched into a tale
designed to amuse as he moved, almost frantically, about the room,
adding finishing touches to their meal. Ginnel ale was a very delicate
beverage, and would evaporate within minutes of exposure to
atmosphere. He'd made the final adjustment to the canister and was
bringing it to the table, when Kathryn sighed and removed her napkin.
This wasn't right.

Chakotay caught her motion and stopped short, managing to upend a
container of colored sands.

They were both immediately on the floor, scooping up the stuff.
Kathryn had never known Chakotay to be clumsy. The fact that he was so
unsettled only added to her feelings of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. This was a mistake."

Chakotay's hands stilled in the sand and he settled back on the floor.
"So what happens now?" He didn't look at her, but allowed the question
to hang in the air. She knew what she wanted to happen. But she had
responsibilities. She couldn't simply toss them aside.

"We are the example for our crew, Chakotay. What we do impacts each
and every one of them, as well as our mission. We can't let this
situation get out of hand." Her reasons were logical.

"What about your needs, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked. 

"Needs?" She asked. "What needs could I possibly have that are more
important than the safety of the crew?"

Chakotay did look at her then. Some emotion that she was hesitant to
define burned brightly in his eyes. "You can't remain the aloof
Captain for 60 years. It isn't healthy. Humans need contact, other
people with which to connect."

"And sooner or later I'm going to snap? Is that it?" Why was she so
angry?. "Perhaps in order to head off this calamity I should just
throw caution to the wind and have a fling with you? Tell me, how is
that going to help the crew?"

Chakotay flinched, and she was immediately sorry, but it was too late
to turn back. And she was tired of being backed into corners this day.
The fact that Chakotay stuttered his response cut at her even more.

"I... not necessarily with me," he frowned as he pressed on. "You
might find someone else along our journey that you could..." His eyes
focused somewhere in the spilled mess of sand.

"No," she said softly, cutting him off. "Where would I find a man
willing to leave his home forever and travel with me, possibly for the
rest of his life? I don't think so."

Chakotay smiled humorlessly as his fingers trailed idly through the
sand. "So many grains," he said as he scooped up a handful and held it
loosely. "Look at it, running between my fingers. If I concentrate I
could control the path of a couple, but I can't control all of them.
It's just not possible. Life is that way, too, Kathryn. A myriad tiny
grains of sand rushing through your life each day. A million details.
You can't control all of them. And if you hold on to them too
tightly," he squeezed his hand shut. "You lose most of what makes life
interesting."

Kathryn stared a moment at the sands, then pushed herself to her feet
and headed toward the door. "We do what we have to do." She'd spoken
very softly and wasn't even sure if he'd heard her.

---

Chakotay ran the few remaining steps through the door of his quarters
and collapsed on the floor. He felt that he'd jogged the entire length
of the ship, twice, alternately cursing and lauding the woman who
resided in the rooms next to his. She'd accused him of wanting a
'fling'.  Had he ever intimated such a thing? Didn't she know his love
was more than that? More than some one night stand? Or a pleasant
diversion for a few months? He wanted far more than that from Kathryn
Janeway. The fact that she'd lowered his feelings to that level had
hurt more than any rejection ever could. But then, who was he kidding?
Hadn't he known her priorities from the beginning? Wasn't that part of
what he loved about her, that she would sacrifice all for her ship and
crew?

She would do what she had to do. She would snuff out the hope of any
normal life for herself, and by extension, for him. And he would let
her, because... because he didn't know what else to do. Because he
didn't know what else he *could* do.

With a heavy sigh, he pulled himself up from the floor and reached for
his medicine bundle. Perhaps meditation would help him regain a
measure of peace. He carefully unwrapped the casing, laid out the
objects and prepared to say the ritual words. They were barely out of
his mouth when something happened.

He found himself captured by an unfamiliar landscape. Flowing desert
stretched into the distance, warm and comforting. But he stood in
shadow, the warmth of the sun was blocked by a towering stone wall.
The sunlight beyond beckoned, begging him forward, but the wall would
not let him pass. Its large stone blocks taunted him, warning that he
could never  bask in the warmth. He could never have the treasure of
his heart.

"Who are you?" a voice asked suddenly. He spun, but saw only the
tumble of pebbles in the sands. The pebbles seemed to speak to him.
*You are rich beyond measure,* they said, their words echoing through
his mind. Then, as suddenly as it began, it ended. The warmth of the
desert faded away and only the controlled climate of the ship
remained.

---
CHAPTER FIVE: Shifting Sands

~~The days that passed between that yesterday and this today, each
individual moment added minutely, step by step, credence to the
journey. This is how far I've come. This is how far we've come.
Together we stand in a bright place filled with joy and warmth. All
the yesterdays and this today will lead us forward.
-Memoirs of Kathryn Janeway~~
---

"I heard that Mr. Paris." The voice of the holographic Doctor sounded
over the shuttle's comm system.

"Oh, Doctor? Were you there?" Tom Paris's voice was filled with
mischief as he responded, obviously satisfied at having successfully
taunted the EMH once again. Both he and Chakotay had been aware that
the Doctor had linked into the comm system when the computer chirped
his presence. But when the Doctor hadn't spoken for several seconds,
Tom took it upon himself to comment.

"I was merely testing the remote tricorder feed," the Doctor replied,
somewhat defensively. "If you would activate the scanner, my task will
be complete and I will be out of your...hair."

Chakotay stifled a half-hearted grin at the way Tom's face screwed up
at the holograph's comment. He shrugged when Tom's gaze fell on him.

"You want me to scan something?" Tom asked, pushing the Doctor's
comment aside.

"Preferably," was the brisk reply.

"Here goes." Tom activated the medical tricorder that had been adapted
for continuous remote feed and swept it over Commander Chakotay. There
were several moments of silence as the data was collected, transmitted
and examined by the EMH. Finally he spoke.

"Commander, might I suggest you develop better sleeping habits.
Several key electrolytes are off balance, and your system is flooded
with artificial stimulants. Please report to sickbay when you return.
Emergency Medical Hologram, out."

Tom shot Chakotay a knowing look. "Not sleeping, Commander?"

Chakotay ignored him. "How long before we reach the rings?"

Tom's brows shot up briefly and he spoke under his breath.
"Hmmm...grumpy. Obviously not awake doing anything fun." Then more
loudly. "Two more minutes."

"Thank you," Chakotay said and entered several figures into the
console.

Tom's expression changed slightly as he focused on the console. "Maybe
you need to just talk to someone about it."

"Are you offering yourself, Mr. Paris?" Chakotay asked.

The cocky grin wasn't exactly in place when he responded. "Actually, I
was suggesting someone else..." He allowed that to sink in for several
seconds. When Chakotay didn't respond, he continued speaking. "How do
you think the negotiations with the Veilien's are going? They've
certainly been at it a long time."

"I don't know," Chakotay replied. "I'm sure the captain will inform us
when the negotiations are completed." He added a smile when Tom looked
at him strangely.

"Maybe they're waiting on the outcome of our findings at the medical
center," Tom suggested, eyeing him a moment longer.

"Perhaps," was all Chakotay said. The Veiliens had insisted upon an
immediate trade negotiation as their world was in dire need. Kathryn
and Neelix had beamed to the palace of the Veilien monarch six hours
earlier. She'd made all of her scheduled check-ins, but during her
last transmission, she'd given detailed instructions for an away
mission.  The first order was that under no circumstances was anyone
to use transporter technology in any area beyond the palace grounds.

Chakotay had listened intently as she spelled out the details. She'd
been very cool and detached, professional to the letter. He might have
been talking to a stranger.

Tom's announcement that they were entering the colorful Veilien ring
field interrupted his thoughts. For the remainder of the flight he
busied himself with pre-landing procedures.

---

Kathryn sank back into the comfortable chair with a sigh, forcing her
mind to catalog the beautiful tapestries and alien figurines that
adorned one of the many Veilien rooms-for-waiting. Gentle music played
continuously in the background, barely within the range of normal
human hearing. Its strains seemed to encourage her mind to wander to
places she thought best denied.

They would get through this. They had to. Because she didn't have time
for a relationship, and she couldn't afford to be so preoccupied. The
luxury of giving in to such desires was simply not hers, regardless of
what Tuvok or Chakotay thought. Yet, she couldn't get his smile out of
her mind, or the honorable way in which he carried himself, or how
devastated he'd looked... She had to give it to Tuvok, he really had a
point about her choice of Chakotay as first officer. Based on
principle alone, perhaps it made no sense. But no one could argue that
he hadn't done a damned fine job, even after she'd rejected him.

That was another thing that got to her. She'd fairly well stomped on
any hope he might have had, and yet, he hadn't resorted to pettiness,
or tried to undermine her position. She'd been afraid that it would be
the Borg situation all over again, but that hadn't happened. He'd
stood solidly beside her during the mission briefing, offering
suggestions and arguments that had been well reasoned and logical.
They did indeed work well together professionally. But personally,
something was now missing. The chasm was wide and deep, and despite
their command synchronicity, the world seemed cooler somehow.

She turned as soft padding steps approached, interrupting her musings.
One of the servants that she'd seen earlier when the negotiations had
first begun appeared.. "Good evening, Natyah," she greeted the girl,
happy to have something else to think about. "Is it time for the
meetings to commence?"

"No, highly-regarded one. His-Imminence has said that when you are
done with your beverage, I am to alert him. The meeting will then
commence."

"Thank you, Natyah. Is it allowed for you to share a drink with me?"
She hoped so. The Veilien males and females customarily retired to
separate rooms-for-waiting during negotiations. And as there were no
other female negotiators, Kathryn found herself alone with only her
thoughts to keep her company.

The young girl smiled demurely. "It would be an honor, highly regarded
one."

---

Chakotay and Tom were led to a pleasantly designed building with a
glass-domed roof. The late afternoon sun shone brilliantly into the
large central arboretum containing benches, tables and manicured trees
of an astonishing variety. Amid the trees were ornately decorated
pools, each large enough to accommodate two humanoids. Most of them
were filled with elderly patients of all sizes, each accompanied by
gray jacketed individuals with what must have been the Veilien medical
seal emblazoned along their shoulders.

"Hospital?" Tom surmised.

"Precisely," their guide stated from behind them. They turned to greet
the young woman who appeared startled for a moment, before gesturing
that they follow her to one of the doors along the outer periphery of
the dome. Tom and Chakotay exchanged curious glances but followed.

She touched a button along the door's side and it slid open to reveal
a lift. Tom attempted to make polite conversation during their short-
lived journey, but the guide ignored him and continued to stare oddly
at Chakotay. He politely returned her look with a smile, causing her
to glance away nervously. When the lift came to a stop, she gestured
that they exit and closed the doors between them without another word.

"That was different," Tom stated, eyeing the closed lift door
curiously. They were left standing in a corridor that stretched away
from them in both directions. A blank gray wall stood solidly in front
of them.

"What's the matter, Tom? Used to getting *all* the attention?"
Chakotay teased as he glanced  both ways, his eyes taking in every
nuance of their surroundings. He caught the small click just as the
wall before them began to lift. When it stopped, they found themselves
standing outside of a large glass window. He was unprepared for the
sight that greeted him.

Children, hundreds of them, filled the room. Some lay on beds, some
sat on the floors, but all bore expressions of sadness, pain, or dull
acceptance. Amongst the pale, thin forms were more gray jacketed
personnel tending to the worst cases.

One of the gray-coats noticed them and stepped through a nearby door
to greet them. "I'm Issoren, and these are our children."

Tom seemed to snap out of a stupor when the man appeared, and cast an
uncomfortable glance toward Chakotay before activating his tricorder.
He quickly scanned for airborne contaminants then gestured the 'all
clear'. Issoren didn't seem to mind that they'd checked.

As the two Starfleet men entered, many of the children turned to look
at them. Some sat up curiously to see what new event was taking place
among them. Others appeared too tired to find the change of any
interest.

Tom approached the nearest ones, scanning as he went. His expression
was somber and his voice low as he catalogued patient numbers for each
reading.

"They are a sorry lot," Issoren spoke as Chakotay and him gazed over
the group. "I hope that your Captain and His-Imminence can come to an
amicable agreement."

Chakotay nodded, unable to imagine a Kathryn Janeway who would turn
down such pitiful souls. "How many are like this?"

"Too many, I'm afraid." Issoren went on to inform him of other such
facilities throughout the continent. "Until this outbreak, illness
wasn't all that common among my people. As a result our medical
technology has not advanced as quickly as other areas. We are ill
prepared for anything of this magnitude. We are, however, compiling
the data your doctor requested. If you'll excuse me for a moment, I
need to check its progress."

Chakotay nodded and watched the man leave. He had a moment's panic
when one of the smaller children, a young girl, moved toward him.

"Are you going to fix us?" she asked with an officious tone. Her elfin
face was markedly thin and her dark eyes shadowed. What had once been
a glorious head of reddish hair hung in disorganized clumps.

He wasn't sure how to answer her question, but stooped and took her
small hand in his. The frailty of the bones beneath tore at his heart.
"What is your name?" he asked, feigning seriousness to equal her own.

"Ta'ina," she said, blinking back at him.

"I am Chakotay, Ta'ina, and we would very much like to help make you
feel better. That's why my friend over there is scanning you and your
friends." He gestured in Tom's direction with a reassuring smile.

She turned and watched Tom's movements for a moment before refocusing
on him. "You're very nice," she decided. "I hope that your children do
not get sick like we did."

"Back to bed now, Ta'ina." Issoren returned from a nearby console with
an apologetic smile and led the small girl away.

Chakotay was left kneeling on the floor watching as she waved a somber
good-bye. He waved in return before moving dazedly to his feet. He
wondered that such a short conversation could affect him so
profoundly. He felt responsible for these children suddenly. Ta'ina's
words had reminded him of something that he'd always thought would
eventually be his. A child.

---

Kathryn felt the transporter effect and relaxed into it. After
fourteen hours she'd finally completed the Veilien's negotiation
ceremonies.  And not a moment too soon. It would not bode well if
she'd strangled the son of the Veilien monarch.

When the transporter released her, she was surprised to find Chakotay
waiting alongside Lieutenant Dana Harmon. She faltered a moment, but
managed a weak smile for the sake of their audience. "Good evening,
Commander."

He replied with a noncommittal, "Captain," and followed her from the
transporter room. Both stared steadily ahead for several moments
before she felt obliged to speak again.

"What brings you to the transporter room at 2347 hours, Commander?
More grist for the rumor mill?"   She immediately regretted her words.
They weren't having that kind of relationship today and the joke fell
flat.

Chakotay shot her a piercing look, but responded. "It's surely the
duty of the Captain and her First Officer to keep the crew entertained
at all costs."

"Kathryn-
"Chak-" They both spoke simultaneously.

Chakotay continued at her gesture. "We need to talk," he said.

"Agreed," Kathryn said. "Your quarters or mine?"

---

Chakotay followed Kathryn into her quarters wondering what he was
going to say. Yes, they needed to talk; things couldn't proceed as
they had that day.  The crew would soon become uncomfortable with such
a distance between the captain and first officer. But, he wasn't sure
if they could go back.

He sat when Kathryn gestured that he do so and declined the offered
tea. He didn't miss the fact that she sat in a chair diagonally across
from his. More distance.

"Where do we start?" she asked, her gaze settling steadily on him. He
wondered how she did that; he felt like an emotional wreck, all of his
emotions were very close to the surface.

Chakotay wondered, too, if this was a good time, if he shouldn't wait
until he felt more in control. But he did not want to endure another
day like this one. Taking a deep breath, he began speaking. "I very
much value our friendship, Kathryn. I know there have some...
misunderstandings lately, but I hope that we can put them behind us
and continue with our friendship. I don't want to lose what we've
built the past few years, I don't want to lose us."

"We aren't going to lose us, Chakotay," Kathryn said, her expression
softening. "As long as we remember that the crew is our first
responsibility, and that we can't afford to allow our personal lives
to interfere with that."

"Okay," Chakotay said, and then smiled sadly. She was defining
parameters with her very words. 'As long as they remembered...'. How
could he forget? His options were slim, he could either accept this
and move on, or he could argue the point. Arguing would get him
nowhere, she'd dig in. Instead he offered to make her tea while she
got more comfortable. He knew how much she hated being in the uniform
this late.

She accepted his offer gratefully and disappeared into her bedroom,
leaving Chakotay to brood while he programmed a tea that would relieve
the headache he suspected she had, and yet not disturb her sleep.  He
took comfort in doing this small thing for her, but peace eluded him.
He'd allowed his mind to drift to forbidden places, and now it was
difficult to find that careful balance again. He just needed a little
time.

His journey to the medical facility hadn't helped matters. It reminded
him of deeply hidden desires, images of a child - with Kathryn. She'd
have her mother's eyes and, of course, her determination. He imagined
her running and playing in the sun, light reflecting brilliantly off
her flowing locks. Kathryn would be there.
 
"You look a million miles away," Kathryn said, startling him out of
his reverie.

"Long day," he said simply, covering his embarrassment at having been
caught daydreaming by placing the mugs carefully on a tray. When
Kathryn turned to approach the sofa, he took a moment to shake off the
lingering sadness that the dream left behind. This really wasn't a
good time.

He settled the tray on the table. "I decided to go with a mixture my
grandmother used to call Sleepytime."

"This wouldn't be a subtle hint, would it?" Kathryn laughed, sinking
into the sofa's cushions, gesturing that he should follow suit.

"Definitely," Chakotay replied with a small smile. "I need a good
night's sleep and I think you could use one too, once in a while."

Kathryn smiled in agreement as she wrapped her hands about the warm
mug, enjoying the tea's gentle aroma. "You'll get no argument from
me." After taking a small sip she turned to him. "Is there something
more bothering you?"

"Uh...just tired," Chakotay said, hoping she bought it. He decided to
steer the conversation toward ship's business. That tended to work.
"But I want to hear about the trade conference."

Kathryn pinned him with a concerned look, but allowed herself to be
led astray. She told him a rather hilarious account of the Veilien's
many unusual trade practices, including a rather odd treaty signing
ceremony involving a drink called Giglia tears.  It was obvious that
she was trying to cheer them both, sensing that they needed to get as
far away from the night before as possible

Chakotay found himself laughing, resting against the sofa's cushions,
almost completely at ease. He marveled at being able to simply sit
there and hear her talking about her day. He wondered if this were
what it would be like if they were married. Would they sit on the sofa
or lie in bed and discuss the events of the day?

His eyes traced each minute movement of her face and hands as she
continued to speak. If they were closer, he wouldn't have to limit his
caresses to visual ones, he could reach out and touch... He suddenly
realized that she'd stopped talking. He smiled and tried to mentally
review what she'd said.  She'd asked  about the medical facility...

He immediately sobered, and moved to a sitting position with a slight
frown. His moment of peace was slipping away. "It was bad," he said,
attempting to mentally detach from the memories. "The Doctor is going
through the data now."

Kathryn mirrored his movements and sat up as well, edging slightly
closer so that their knees almost touched. "I'm sure he will do his
best," she offered. "As he is so fond of reminding us, he will no
doubt find a miraculous cure in the nick of time."

Chakotay forced a smile, but his heart wasn't in it. He very much
wanted to help those children, but the expression on the Doctor's face
hadn't given him much hope. He wanted to help one tiny girl in
particular. For what seemed the hundredth time that day, her image
flitted through his mind. It pained him to imagine that she wouldn't
be able to grow to have her first kiss, or her first real love

"This illness affects only the children," he told her. "And they don't
have much time at all." Kathryn looked appalled as he continued to
tell her of the many hundreds he'd seen in just one facility. Ta'ina's
solemn face beckoned him again "There was this one little girl --" He
broke off suddenly, he didn't think he could repeat what she'd said to
him at the moment. There was no way he could make light of the subject
that was so dear to his heart. "She was beautiful, Kathryn," he said
instead.

Kathryn eyed him for a moment and then spoke as if she'd just had a
revelation. "You want children, don't you? Oh Chakotay, you'd make a
wonderful father."

She hadn't meant anything by the words, he knew. But it served as the
proverbial straw, and all of the emotions he'd been struggling to
stifle all evening rushed to the surface and overwhelmed him. How
could he answer her question without revealing the true depth of his
disappointment?

He loved Kathryn Janeway with such an intensity that on some days he
couldn't separate her goals from his. He'd promised to stay by her
side, and he had no intention or desire to renege on that promise. But
his extended hopes and dreams were no more. There would be no family,
no children of his own. He would simply have to stop wanting. He
closed his eyes for a moment in silent mourning for the daughter of
his imagination, that dark-haired blue-eyed child that could not be.

"Chakotay?" Kathryn touched his cheek lightly when he didn't respond. 

His eyes opened involuntarily at her touch, still brimming with
emotions long buried.  He tried to reign them in, to disguise them
with his usual facade, but it wasn't working. Kathryn's eyes locked
with his and she read it all there in his gaze. He didn't have the
strength to look away.

She seemed caught by the moment as well, and a raw emotional response
shone in her eyes. She whispered something softly, barely an
exhalation, as she leaned in toward him. But she was so close that he
felt its warmth against his lips. His eyes slid closed as he
languished in the sensation of her lips pressing softly against the
corner of his mouth.

He knew that she meant to pull away after that, but something happened
and they shifted. Her lips brushed softly over his and remained. Shock
rushed his system, and he reached out for her, resting his hands on
either side of her neck. She didn't pull away, but parted her lips
beneath his.

Chakotay was like a drowning man. The taste, the smell of her was
intoxicating, adding to the chaotic whirlwind that he was helpless to
stop -- that he didn't want to stop. It took over his reason, making
him believe there was no one or nothing else, just the two of them
joined in this world of their own. When she froze beneath him, his
mind struggled uncomprehendingly to figure out what had happened.

She pulled away, drawing a trembling hand to her lips. Shock was
written all over her.

Cold dread settled in the vicinity of Chakotay's heart. Involuntarily
he reached out toward her, but she pushed further away and jumped up
from the sofa.

"This can't happen," she said shakily, backing away. Then more firmly.
"This cannot happen."

Chakotay froze, realizing his mistake. He couldn't speak, couldn't
breathe. He had to get out. She didn't try to stop him.

---

Kathryn paced from one end of her quarters to the other. Several
sleepless hours had passed, and she was still turning the same
questions over in her mind. How had it happened? How? It wasn't that
she hadn't wanted it to happen, because she had, perhaps a little too
much. But how could she let it happen after all she'd said about not
allowing their personal lives to interfere with duty?

She'd only meant to comfort him, to allay the hurt she'd seen shining
so brilliantly in his eyes. In the moments before he'd left she'd seen
that her mission was a success. She had replaced the hurt. She'd
replaced it with an emptiness that was so much more painful. She
should talk to him.

"Computer locate Commander Chakotay." She had to let him know that...
What? What was she going to tell him?

"Commander Chakotay is on holodeck 2."

She moved toward the door and then stopped. What was she going to say
to him? To do? What could she possibly do to improve the situation?
She ran a hand over her forehead and resumed her pacing, the headache
was returning.

A movement from the corner of her eye caused her to wonder if she were
developing a migraine. Turning fully, she found that something was
happening on one of her side tables. Headache forgotten, she
approached slowly. There is was again. Small, barely visible sparkles
rose slowly from her butterfly disk. Kathryn suspected that the
dimness of the room added to the effect. Tentatively she reached out
an touched it. It was warm, almost as if it retained some residual
body heat from a previous user. She wondered...

Before she could act on an investigatory impulse, the comm system
activated. "Bridge to Captain Janeway."

---

Chakotay reread his mission plan, double checking all of the details.
He glanced at his chronometer, 0532. Both B'Elanna and Ensign Iroho
were late. Not that he could blame them - he'd found the order on his
personal console shortly after 0500 hours, signed by Captain Janeway.
Since her own visit with the Veilien prince wasn't until later in the
afternoon, he wondered if she was trying to get rid of him until she
could get her bearings.  Well, he'd be certain to not give her any
reason to fault his work.

He paused at the sound of the doors opening for B'Elanna, who was
carrying an overstuffed survey pack full of needed equipment. He
muttered a gruff 'good morning' at her approached, and turned   back
to his PADD.

B'Elanna shot him a look. "Morning yourself." Then giving him a once-
over, "Has any one told you that you look like--"

"Yes, as a matter of fact someone has," Chakotay said softly. Between
Tom's questions, Tuvok's "Are you well, Commander?" and now B'Elanna,
he was batting a thousand.

"Anything I can do to help?" She asked, lowering her voice to a more
private level. He didn't miss the concern that had suddenly come into
her eyes.

"I'm fine," he said, brushing her concern aside with a small gesture
as he continued to study his PADD. He hoped that if he looked busy
enough she'd let it drop. No such luck, she crossed her arms and
glared at him.

"You really don't expect me to believe that do you? "

"Actually, yes," he nodded, giving up on the PADD and moving to store
their packs in the rear shuttle compartments.

"Too bad," B'Elanna followed. "If it were me walking around looking as
if I'd lost my best friend, you'd have something to say about it."
Chakotay turned to face her, a sharp remark on the tip of his tongue.
But her voice softened and she placed a comforting hand on his arm.
"Maybe you just need to talk to someone about it."

The fact that B'Elanna had reached out to him spoke volumes about the
depth of her concern. Chakotay suddenly felt very tired, all of his
earlier irritation drained away. "I've been told that, too." He spoke
with a small, sad smile.

"I'm sure the two of you will work it out," B'Elanna said with an
encouraging squeeze. "You're too much a part of one another not to."
Chakotay stared at the young Klingon, alternately stunned by her
insight and struck by the irony of his situation: the woman he felt
closest to in the entire universe was the furthest away. The moment
was interrupted when a yawning Ensign Imara Iroho came onboard the
shuttle. B'Elanna took a quick step back. "So tell me again why we're
doing this?"

Chakotay snapped out of his stupor and answered the question. "It's a
Veilien tradition," he said. "Before we can take anything from the
moon, including tricorder readings, we must be properly introduced.
It's actually similar to one of the ancient customs of my people."

"I suppose this all makes sense to you, then?" B'Elanna remarked dryly
as she settled into the co-pilot's seat. Iroho followed the
conversation with seeming interest from the back of the shuttle.

"It does." Chakotay double checked to be sure that Iroho was settled
before he activated the shuttle's thrusters and piloted a course out
of the bay. "I'm surprised you don't remember the particular one. Or
perhaps I need to re-introduce you to a few patience rituals."

B'Elanna barked a sharp disdainful laugh. "You and what army of animal
guides?"

"You are rather hard on them, aren't you?" Chakotay smiled. 

B'Elanna smiled in return. "A bug that ugly? How was I supposed to
know that it was supposed to be my animal guide? Any one would have
stomped it...."

---

The shuttle's rear door opened to reveal the gray vista that was the
Veilien number three moon. In comparison with the colorful rings of
Veilia - which arched across the sky - the number three moon was
particularly bland. Seemingly endless reaches of gray sand stretched
ahead, broken only by the  darker gray shadows of hills and rocks.

Chakotay could well understand why the Veiliens had chosen this site
for their ceremony. Despite the bland scenery, there was a sort of
ethereal silence to the place, an almost sacredness. He stood very
still, absorbing it, waiting. Suddenly he felt an odd shifting
sensation. And then he opened his eyes ...

~Brilliant sun cut across his unsuspecting gaze. He threw up a hand
and shielded them from the combination of blinding rays and reflective
golden sand. A rough wind blew, causing bits of sand to blow up into
his face, and sting his cheeks. All ready the heat of the place seeped
through his uniform.

A swift clattering to his right pulled his attention away from his
discomfort. He turned in an attempt to ascertain the cause of the
racket, but saw only tiny pebbles rolling against a large stone wall.

The wall  seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, yet he sensed that
it had always been there...would always be there. Unless... The
thought remained incomplete as a sharp call echoed across the sky.
Chakotay threw his head back and looked up, almost directly into the
sun's path. At the last moment, he mind told him that this would not
be a wise course without eye protection. But he found that there was
no sun, and no golden sands. Only the gray that stretched on and on
and on...~

Chakotay gasped when he realized what had happened. But there was no
time to ponder the strange event as a thin Veilien male was
approaching.

The man was dressed in loose gray trousers and a knee-length tunic,
and seemed to flow from the grayness around him. A smile spread across
his heavily lined face as he drew nearer. "I am called Meke." His
voice was gravelly, but powerful. "I am a teacher of the old ways. "

Chakotay stepped forward to introduce his team, but the old man cut
him off with a gesture, then bowed deeply. "I am but a lowly teacher,
you need not share your name with me. The moon will know who you are
and if you mean harm."

Chakotay wondered at the man's choice of words, but gestured that
B'Elanna and Iroho should follow. Meke led them to an outcropping
which over-looked a steep drop-off. There was a large body of water
beneath that twisted a winding path into the distance.

"Behold the lifeblood." Meke said, gesturing toward the darkness. "You
must remain here until the veil is lifted. When that is complete you
may carry on with your business. It has been an honor." With another
deep bow, he backed away and disappeared into the grayness.

B'Elanna watched the little man go with a curious expression. "So we
stand here and wait...for what?"

Chakotay pointed toward the speckled sky. "You can see Veilia's rings
from here," he said. "It's called the Veil. When this moon comes
sunward, the Veil is no longer visible - the Veil is lifted. Look,
it's happening now."

The dimness of the sky was beginning to noticeably brighten. As it did
the colorful rings of the planet gently faded until only the grayness
of the sky remained. The entire change from darkness to what would
pass for light lasted less than a minute.

"Nice display," B'Elanna said glancing away from the sky. "But down
here we just went from gray at night to gray in the day. Does this
mean the moon likes us?" Her hand was already hovering over her
tricorder.

"I believe it does," Chakotay said with a smile at her impatience.
"Proceed with the survey."

Moments later, the half-Klingon let out a startled exclamation.
"Chakotay! This water is literally brimming with metals... " Her
fingers flew across the small keypad as she ran additional
metallurgical analyses.  "I'm going down for a sample." She started
around the steep edge of the outcropping almost before Chakotay could
acknowledge and send Iroho with her.  He followed at a more leisurely
pace, scanning the surrounding sand and rocks as he went.

He was only halfway down the incline when a movement caught his eyes.
He squinted, but still wasn't sure of what he saw. After quickly
reconfiguring his tricorder, he trained it in the direction of his
curiosity and was surprised to find a woman and a small infant in the
waters. He frowned at a warning indication and double-checked his
readings. The reading remained the same.

"No," he whispered painfully and set off at a run across the shifting
sands.  It took several minutes to reach the woman, and she turned
sharply at his approach. One hand had been methodically sprinkling
waters over the child in her arms, but they paused in mid action when
her eyes settled on Chakotay. As she stood and moved toward him,
unafraid, he noticed that dried tears had left tracks along her
cheeks.

"Honored one." Again the bow. "I fear it is too late for my baby." She
looked sadly at the small, pitifully gasping, bundle in her arms
before extending it to him. "The Veils could not save him," she said.
"Can you?"  .

Chakotay eyed the bedraggled woman for a moment. Something about her
demeanor bothered him, but he didn't focus on it. There were more
important matters to attend. Sickly gray flesh peeked from beneath the
edges of the swaddling blanket. It was impossible to tell the gender,
or the age. B'Elanna and Iroho arrived just as he took the small,
wheezing bundle into his arms.

"Chakotay?" B'Elanna called softly, standing back at a distance. It
was obvious that she was unsure where he wanted to go with this.

"Continue with the survey," he said softly, his eyes fixed intently
upon the child. Suddenly coming to a decision, he turned toward the
woman. "Will you come with me?"

The woman's eyes brightened as her head bobbed in assent.

Chakotay shot one last look at B'Elanna and Iroho, who suddenly saw
the necessity to return to their scans, and called for a beam-out
directly to sickbay.

---

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn felt a shock go through her body. The last person she'd
expected to hear from was Commander Chakotay. It took a composing
moment before she answered.

"Captain, I think you should come to sickbay." His voice gave nothing
away.

"Acknowledged. On my way." She was out of her seat before she'd
completed the sentence. Aside from the fact that Chakotay wasn't even
supposed to be on the ship, if there were a medical emergency, the EMH
would have informed her. Had something happened to the away team? Her
mind spun with the possibilities. By the time she reached sickbay her
mind was so full of scenarios that when she saw the bedraggled woman
sitting near her first officer, she was struck momentarily dumb.

Chakotay spoke quietly and gently extricated himself from the woman's
grasping hands. Kathryn couldn't help but note the way the woman's
eyes followed him as he stood. She held nothing of the worldliness
that had surrounded the members of the trade negotiations. In fact, if
Kathryn had to choose, she'd have thought Chakotay had found the woman
on some backwater, pre-warp planet. She now had an idea why the
Veilien's wanted to limit their use of advanced technology before the
general populace.

When her eyes rose to meet Chakotay's, his trepidation was obvious,
and not simply because of the night before. A sick feeling settled in
the pit of her stomach as she gazed around. She was willing to bet
that B'Elanna, Iroho and the shuttle were still on the number three
moon.

"What happened, Commander?" she asked when they'd stepped several
paces away for privacy.

He stood stiffly before her. "I'm sorry, Captain," he began, his eyes
focused somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. "I brought Tahl and
her child on board with the use of transporter technology."

She'd figured as much. She just hoped he had a heck of a good reason.
"Go ahead," she prompted.

"Her child was very ill, its lifesigns were fading." His eyes rose to
meet hers briefly before skittering away. "I couldn't let her...die."

Kathryn nodded. She couldn't fault his actions, she would have been
surprised if he'd done anything less. Especially since the illness of
these children seemed to have affected him even more deeply than she'd
initially thought. "I think you need to tell me the whole story."

Chakotay nodded, meeting her eyes more solidly. "While we were
surveying the moon, we came across a large body of water. Many of the
metals useful to the ship were suspended within it. This woman was
bathing her child in the waters --"

"But that water would have been hazardous," Kathryn injected. There
were no metals useful to Voyager that would be recommended for
humanoid consumption."

"Yes," Chakotay agreed with her before continuing. "Her child was ill.
Obviously suffering from a much more severe case of the ailment than
the other children. The Doctor is examining the child now."

Kathryn glanced up at him, a frown crossing her brow. "Worse? Didn't
the physician say that the ones at the medical facility were the
worse?"

Chakotay nodded, there was obviously something else on his mind.
"According to Tahl this illness has been around for much longer than
the Veiliens led us to believe. It did not become a cause for concern
until it reached the ranks of the children of the middle class."

Kathryn glanced at the woman and back to him. She wasn't prepared to
go accusing the Veiliens of lying. "Has the Doctor made any progress?"

As if on cue, the Doctor appeared from a rear room. "Ah, good. Both of
you are here." He carried the infant to its mother along with a bottle
containing a yellowish fluid. The woman transferred her adoring gaze
from Chakotay to the Doctor and then to the child. Despite the
situation, Kathryn found herself smiling at the contented gurgling
noises the child made as it consumed the liquid. Her eyes were drawn
to Chakotay as he too watched the child. There was an expression of
such longing on his face that she glanced away quickly, feeling as if
she were intruding on something private.

The Doctor's evaluation interrupted her thoughts.  "The child was
suffering from a number of heavy metal poisonings - not the least of
which was lead, gelerium, and ceridium. What did she do, soak the
child in chemical waste?" At Chakotay's expression, the Doctor's eyes
widened, but he continued. "In any case, the plot thickens. Adult
Veilien's have a very formidable metabolism very little affects them.
Regardless, I wouldn't recommend ingesting heavy metals. Which, by the
way isn't directly what caused the child's condition."

"What exactly *did* cause the illness, Doctor?" Kathryn asked. He
really was enjoying himself. The problem must have been a very
difficult one to diagnose, and this was his way of patting himself on
the back.

"When I scanned the child, there were traces of water in her garments.
Within the garments was a microbe. This microbe, once in the child's
system is absorbed by the Veilien equivalent of the immune system.
Normally, this microbe is easily handled, but the elements and various
other by-products have cause this microbe to mutate. The mutated
microbe is completely absorbed into the immune system where it then
proceeds to decimate the rest of the child's immune system. And that
is why the rest of the children are getting ill as well. They are all
ingesting this mutated microbe in some way."

"But why didn't any of the adults become ill?" Kathryn asked. 

"The children's immune systems are still assimilating new 'illnesses',
if you will, to provide for the rest of its life's immunity. It does
this by absorbing illnesses. Most of the adults have all ready
encountered this microbe in its unaltered form and having previously
sensitized, simply destroy it. The children who are ill, I suspect,
are the ones who have never encountered this microbe, and thereby
absorb it and become ill."

"So you've found a cure?" Chakotay asked, still anxious. 

"Certainly. But once one has been infected, the immune system remains
susceptible. The cure will work for a time, but each successive re-
infection will be increasingly difficult to treat, until the
inoculation no longer counteracts the microbe's affect. Preventative
measures against re-infection must be taken."

Kathryn nodded with a smile and touched the EMH gently on the back.
"Good work, Doctor."

The Doctor shot a her a surprised but happy grin and returned to his
office.

Kathryn turned her attention to Chakotay. "Please see our guest back
to her home. It looks as if I'll have something additional to discuss
with the Veiliens today." He nodded his acknowledgment.

"And Chakotay," she called after him after he'd turned away.  At his
questioning glance, she continued with a tentative smile. "Use a
shuttle this time, would you?"

A slow, beauteous smile spread across his face. "Yes, Ma'am." Kathryn
left sickbay feeling positively lightheaded.

---

Kathryn was sitting at her desk gazing at her butterfly disk when the
door chime went. The surface of the tiny device was still dark, so she
knew who wasn't on the other side of the door. Though they hadn't made
plans, she hadn't known if he would honor their standing lunch
appointment. He'd probably remained on the moon and taken lunch on the
shuttle, she decided.

"Come in," she called, curious as to who was on the other side of her
door. She'd narrowed the list to three possible suspects when the
doors slid open and Tuvok entered the room. He'd been her second
choice.

"How can I help you, Tuvok?" she asked, noting his stiff demeanor. The
Vulcan looked mildly uncomfortable.

"I wish to discuss a matter. It is of a personal nature, but may
affect the well-being of the ship."

Kathryn stiffened slightly, but gestured that he continue. She vividly
remembered his discussion of a personal matter the day before and the
chain of events that followed. She sincerely hoped he wasn't here to
stir the pot some more.

"I have been having dreams, Captain." Tuvok began to speak.
"Disturbing dreams in which I've felt an alien presence."

Kathryn decided that this discussion would fall under the heading of a
different pot.

---

Two hours later found Kathryn Janeway sitting in the outer offices of
the Veilien lesser palace. Unlike her previous visits, she hadn't been
escorted to one of the plush rooms-for-waiting, having been led
instead to a completely different part of the palace. The area in
which she'd been seated was flanked on three sides by tall gray
panels. Every few seconds she could hear a barely perceptible click,
which she assumed was some type of surveillance or security device.

After having calculated the timing of the clicks, and the most
efficient positioning of a vid-monitor several times, her mind began
to wander. The natural direction was toward Chakotay. What in the
world was she going to do about him? She felt as if their relationship
was at a crossroads, as it had been for far too long Recent events
were pushing her to choose a direction.

When she'd first approached Chakotay about merging their two crews,
she'd insisted on a Starfleet crew because of the disciplined
atmosphere it would afford. Many of the Maquis members had resented
that at first, but they'd pulled through it admirably. Starfleet
protocols had become the building blocks with which their integrated
crew had been forged. How could she tear that down for personal
reasons?  Once the first step was taken, it would become a slippery
slope.

Besides, she'd come to pride herself on her ability to toe the line,
sacrificing any and all for the good of her people.  Knowing that
things were well with them would have to be enough.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of opening doors. The
Veilien prince, Garaden, appeared around the edge of the sitting area.
"Captain Janeway, it is a pleasure to see you again."

Kathryn exchanged the expected pleasantries and allowed herself to be
led before a set of double doors flanked by armed guards.  Garaden
gestured broadly, allowing her to enter first.

She was taken aback by the view that greeted her. The room could only
be described as magnificent; truly fit for royalty. The king himself
sat regally among the sumptuous appointments in a wide-backed chair.
The chair appeared to have been carved from a very large tree, it's
back shaped into a waving pattern of wood  that had been shined to a
high gloss.

His majesty was flanked on both sides by a trio of men dressed in
robes similar to that of Garaden, with the exception of the royal
crest. They all turned to watch Kathryn's entry. Garaden stepped
slightly ahead of her and honored the king with a bow. Kathryn
immediately followed suit.

Garaden spoke. "My King, may I present Captain Kathryn Janeway of the
Federation Starship Voyager." Then gesturing toward the gray-haired
man on the throne. "Captain Kathryn Janeway, it is my honor to present
the Reigning-Chief-of-all-Peoples Macaren, Master of the Veil."

Kathryn nodded slightly at the older man as he sized her up. His eyes
appeared to miss nothing as he looked her over. Kathryn maintained a
steady gaze under his perusal.

"You may speak," he said. "I and my counsel will listen."

"Our Doctor has found a cure for the illness of your people." Her
words caused a small fervor among the gathered group of men. The six
men alongside of the king didn't speak, but their expressions and the
startled glances that passed among them told their thoughts clearly
enough.

Garaden snapped a finger and servants appeared from several locations
around the room bearing chairs. They settled a chair by each of the
six and by Kathryn and Garaden. They all sat. Garaden began to speak.
The king, whose seat remained elevated above the rest, simply watched.

"I am amazed at the abilities of your Doctor. Perhaps you will be
willing to trade him. There are many worlds who would pay dearly for
such an asset."

"I'm afraid we won't do that, Your-Imminence. It was actually an
incident on your number 3 moon that led to the solution. My first
officer found a woman bathing a child in a body of water. It was only
a matter of time before our Doctor was able to determine that the
ailments were linked to the contaminants found there."

Garaden frowned slightly. "The number 3 moon, you say?" Kathryn
thought she noticed a look pass between Garaden and one of the
counselors.

"Yes," Kathryn nodded. "The woman had some interesting things to say
about the illness, and the manner in which it presented itself."

"I know what you're suggesting," Garaden said. "And you're right. The
illness was largely ignored when it existed mostly among the lower
classes - the miners. But not everyone in Veilien society turned a
blind eye. Our society is steeped in tradition. Change does not come
easily. I've worked very hard to have the situation looked at - our
economy is sustained to an ever-increasing degree through our mining
operations, and it is the lower class that labors in the mines."

Kathryn accepted his response. She wasn't here to challenge this
planet's societal evolution. "The Doctor has developed an inoculation,
and will make it available to any and all of your citizens who need
it. He will also provide instructions on its synthesis. He mentioned,
though, that changes need to be made to prevent re-infection."

"What sort of changes?" Garaden asked.

"The woman was bathing her child in a body of water on the moon. It is
full of a highly toxic combination of refinery by-products which have
caused a particular microbe to mutate. This mutated microbe is the
actual cause of the illness. The inoculation will become ineffective
if re-infection continues to occur."

Garaden looked thoughtful for a moment. "That body of water is used
for many different things. It sits upon a sacred site and it will be
very difficult to prevent our citizens from performing their
ceremonies there."

 "The Doctor was very insistent on that point," Kathryn said with
 diplomatic smile. As far as she was concerned the point was exactly
 negotiable. Something would have to be done.

Garaden's eyes were troubled and he looked toward his father in mild
askance before speaking. Kathryn wasn't able to discern anything from
the man's stiff countenance. "We can't do that. It's a very important
part of the spiritual life of my people. Is there no other way?"

"Perhaps," Kathryn said, looking carefully between the King Macaren
and Garaden. After so long in trade negotiations she had a pretty good
idea as to how the Veiliens operated, and she'd come with a
contingency plan. The idea was startlingly simple, she thought, and if
they went about it carefully they should be able to proceed with
barely a bruise to the prime directive.

All of the men paid rapt attention as she laid out her plan. Several
of the counselors looked mildly intrigued, Garaden hung on to her
every word. King Macaren remained stone-faced throughout her
explanation. She wondered idly if there were a Veilien equivalent to
poker. When she finished speaking, silence descended over the room.

All eyes fell on the king. His eyes locked with Garaden's, but his
expression never changed. "It is in violation of tradition."

Garaden showed no surprise at his father's words. Kathryn would have
bet that he'd expected those exact words. "I ask, King, that you allow
the counsel to decide."

Macaren nodded once. And turned to the first counselor to his right.
The round-faced man asked Kathryn about the time required to implement
her plan and what type of planetary resources would be needed. The
questions continued all the way around the circle until each of the
counselors had asked questions of her or made comments to the king.
The questioning in many cases was lengthy, so tables and refreshments
were brought in as the discussion continued.

After all of the counselors were done, Garaden rose and began to
speak. "All of our questions have been answered satisfactorily,
father. I would hear your thoughts?"

The king seemed to straighten in his chair before speaking. "I have no
doubt that Captain Janeway and her people mean well, but there have
been too many changes already. The troubles that plague our society
are because the old ways have been violated. The traditions have
always served as a protection. We should allow the inoculations, and
nature will take care of itself."

Garaden responded immediately. "A society cannot survive if it remains
still; her children must move forward. Nature is in trouble and we
have the means to fix that. We cannot allow the path to control us
when the power to change it is ours."

"And a heady power it is," Macaren spoke a bit more loudly, showing
more emotion than Kathryn had seen from him in her entire
acquaintance. "You are not Master of the Veil yet. My word is still
law. This marring of tradition has lead to, and will only lead to,
more trouble. The castes no longer honor their betters; children no
longer respect their parents; outsiders tell us how we are to live."

All eyes fell on Garaden when the king fell silent, the argument now
belonged to him and his father. Garaden, when he replied, was subdued.
"I mean you no disrespect father. I have always admired your strength
and dignity. You are a fair Master, and I can only hope that I may
partially fill your shoes. But I fear that there is no other solution
to our present dilemma.

"The suggestion of Captain Janeway is but a small thing and will allow
the people to continue their ceremonies unharmed. It is the lesser of
two greater evils. It could mean our survival."

Macaren shook his head. "The land must remain sacred, mildly tainted
is tainted nonetheless. Tradition is the glue that has held our people
together from the beginning. We must find Veilien solutions for
Veilien people."

Garaden's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I fear that we will be
unsuccessful."

Macaren rested solemnly back into his throne chair. "The first thing
heard before the wall crumbles is the sound of the pebbles falling. By
then it is too late to protect the sand. The road that she proposes
could lead to the destruction of all that we have built for more than
a thousand generations. "

 Garaden contemplated his father's words for several moments before
 speaking softly. "But if that wall becomes one that crushes, father,
 perhaps the crumbling is better for the sand."

Kathryn felt a chill run the length of her spine as the room suddenly
stilled, and the king's emotionless facade failed. All eyes
immediately turned to Garaden, whose gaze was locked with that of his
father. After several moments of some silent communication, Macaren
regained his composure and signaled the counselors.

His voice was gruff when he spoke. "As my son speaks, so is my
recommendation."

---

Chakotay returned to Voyager shortly after alpha shift's dinner hour.
After having delivered Tahl safely back to her village, he'd taken
time to do an aerial survey of the moon's exceedingly bland terrain.
B'Elanna and Iroho had long since returned to Voyager. He'd remained
behind to help Beta team set up the base camp, which was located near
one of the poles. The site was remote enough so that none of the many
villages that dotted the moon's surface would be disturbed by their
excavations. In spite of his exhaustion, he had to admit that the day
had been very productive.

He briefly considered having dinner in the mess hall, but decided
instead to order something in his quarters. He'd been on his feet all
day, and he longed to be free of his boots. It wasn't that they were
uncomfortable, they'd been replicated for his specific comfort. He was
just happier out of them. Kathryn harassed him mercilessly about it.
That thought brought a gentle smile to his lips.

After her small joke about the shuttle, he felt certain that their
friendship was not lost. Whatever she was willing to give, it would be
enough.

Turning toward the replicator he ordered a small bowl of lentil soup,
bread and chilled tea then moved his portable console over to the
coffee table. There was no doubt a frightening number of reports to
catch up on, he might as well accomplish something while he was
eating. But first, to get settled.

He rested his feet on the coffee table and balanced his console across
his lap. The dinner tray went on the side table. He sighed and
activated the console. The next thing he knew, he was waking up to the
sound of his door chime.

His dinner tray remained untouched at his side, and his personal
console had slid to one side, having long since initiated an automatic
shut down. Running his hands wearily over his face, he came to his
feet and called a sleepy "come in". His next thought was clearing away
his minor mess. He heard the doors slide open as he returned the tray
to the replicator.

When his visitor didn't immediately enter the room, he turned back
curiously, wondering who might be on the other side of the door.
"Captain?" he called, wondering at her strange behavior and gestured
that she enter. He certainly hoped nothing else had changed since the
last time they'd spoken.

She nodded sharply and entered. Chakotay thought he detected equal
parts determination and nervousness.

"Surely the meeting didn't go that badly," he gestured her to a chair,
attempting to make light of the situation. "You didn't blow anyone out
of an airlock did you?" Kathryn managed a tiny smile after a moment
and shook her head. Chakotay added distracted to the list of things he
was sensing from her.

"Do you remember when we got those letters from home?" She asked,
seemingly out of nowhere.

Chakotay nodded. "Yes."

"When Mark told me that he'd moved on, I was upset. But it wasn't
because I was losing someone, or because I was being replaced - he'd
been something to hold on to, another reason to get home. I was afraid
that without that connection my resolve would weaken. It was the same
with the crew settling down - it all seemed like a distraction from
our ultimate goal."

"And now," Chakotay prompted, he was sure that there was something
more.

"And now, we're more of a family than we've ever been, and I don't
think it's caused them to lose focus. Nevertheless, I'm the one who is
responsible for keeping the hope alive. It's part of my duty as
Captain. I have to remember that."  Her voice trailed away, and she
seemed to be lost in thought.

"Yes we are more of a family," Chakotay agreed with an edge of
confusion to his tone. "Is something wrong, Kathryn?"

"Chakotay, I heard the pebbles falling." 

Chakotay blinked, the words struck a vague chord in him, but he was
more lost than ever. "Kathryn?" he begged for clarity. He loved his
captain dearly, but she was making no sense.

And then she shifted gears on him again. "What are your hopes? What do
you want, for the future I mean, for the crew, for...us?"

Chakotay sat absolutely still, he hadn't seen that one coming. And it
was a loaded question if he'd ever heard one. He had absolutely no
idea how to answer it. "Why do you ask?"

Kathryn turned away slightly. "You have a right to be suspicious after
all that's happened in the past few days," she acknowledged. Then,
sighing heavily as if gathering her courage, "So I'll go first. My
hope is that it isn't too late."

Chakotay felt his heart lurch. "Too late?" he asked.

Kathryn spoke somewhat breathlessly. "I hope that when we do get back
home, that it isn't too late for the crew to see their loved ones
again. I hope, right now, that it isn't too late... for us."

"Us?" Chakotay asked, feeling slightly lightheaded. He thought he'd
just heard... He needed clarification.

Kathryn moved hesitantly toward him, her eyes glistening. "I hope it
isn't too late for us, Kathryn and Chakotay." Their eyes locked as she
moved closer still, slowly straddling his lap. "I love you, Chakotay,"
she said, leaning in closer. "So much..." Her words trailed off as her
lips touched his, softly at first. Chakotay's response was immediate,
and unrestrained. They were both breathless when they pulled apart.

"I love you, Kathryn," Chakotay whispered, drawing her into his arms
again. "You're worth any wait."

---
CHAPTER SIX: The Desert

~~In the desert a fountain is springing,
    In the wide waste there still is a tree,
   And a bird in the solitude singing,
   Which speaks to my spirit of thee.
         Stanzas to Augusta. - Lord Byron**~~
---

Chakotay opened his eyes, and immediately squeezed them shut,
squinting against the harsh brilliance of sunlight. The gleaming sands
of the desert stretched out before him. The wall was no more, having
scattered in many pieces over the surface of the sand. Only tiny,
glittering specks remained, causing a rainbow effect to radiate off
into the distance. He stared about in confusion, wondering how it was
that he came to be in this place.

A sudden sound greeted his ears... It was as the sound of many voices
heard from a great distance, but growing rapidly closer. He turned
sharply in an attempt to locate its source, but there was nothing but
empty desert.

"Who's there?" he called, and the sound faded away. He immediately
reached for the Starfleet tools to which he'd grown accustomed, but
found only an empty leather pouch. The rest of his body was covered in
what appeared to be animal skins. "Is there anyone there?" he
repeated. No answer.

The fine hairs on the back of his neck prickled; someone was watching.
Suddenly feeling very much alone, and acutely vulnerable, he sought
something with which to protect himself. The only items that looked
even remotely promising was a stand of rocks a dozen meters away.  He
began to move briskly in that direction.

Again the voices. Much closer this time, seemingly on his heels. They
coalesced into a single voice as he ducked toward the rocks, getting a
firm grip around one of the larger ones.

 "... oo are you?" It was young and feminine, and it emanated from
 directly behind him.

Chakotay spun and caught a glimpse of a delicately beautiful face. Her
small stature took him by surprise and he didn't catch himself in
time, instead landing in the sand on his backside.

The young woman stood over him, dark hair blowing in the breeze. She
tossed her head, exposing an intricately styled tattoo above her
slightly slanted right brow. Chakotay gaped at the gently pointed ear
that peeked from among the stands. He was even more surprised when the
girl began to giggle.

"Where am I?" he asked, dropping the rock and moving to his feet. Most
enemies didn't giggle charmingly before disemboweling their victims.
But then again, this was the Delta Quadrant...wasn't it? He hoped his
reclamation of the rock went unnoticed.

"You are like us," the girl said. "But you are not one of us. I won't
harm you. Promise. And I'm not exactly sure what you mean by
disem...bowel --Oh! " She gasped and paled, backing slowly, shakily
away.

Chakotay immediately dropped the rock and moved to assist her. "Are
you all right?" he asked, helping her to settle on a large boulder.
"Is there something I can do to help?"

She blinked several times, breathing deep, forced breaths, as if
trying to clear her head. "The image you projected was very...vivid.
I've never... I mean, I shouldn't have..."

Chakotay frowned at her obvious agitation. Could something that he
thought have affected her so?

"It's not your fault," she was quick to say, her color was beginning
to return to its previous gently burnished tone. "It is impolite to
read someone thus, but your thoughts are so near the surface that they
are difficult to ignore. I apologize. I will not look at them any
further."

Chakotay nodded his thanks. Next for some answers. The last thing he'd
remembered was being in his quarters with Kathryn. He might have
convinced himself that this was a dream, but it felt too real... He
could feel the heat emanating from the sand beneath his knee, and the
smooth warmth of the girl's skin. The breeze ruffled his hair
slightly, and a sharp, but not unpleasant, alien odor assaulted his
nostrils. Wherever here was, it was very real.

"Can you tell me where I am," he glanced around. "And where my ship
is?"

The girl looked confused. "Your ship? It is where you left it. This is
the dream place. It was the only way I could find you again. Don't you
remember our first meeting?"

It was Chakotay's turn to look confused. "We've never met before..."
He was certain he would have remembered. Very few races wore facial
tattoos.

"Yes," the girl insisted, undaunted.  "That is how I found you -
standing over there by the wall. But now its gone. Did you tear it
down? You were very worried about it. You thought it was keeping you
from a treasure you desperately wanted. I couldn't see what your
treasure was, but you valued it so greatly that I told you that you
were rich beyond measure just for the having of it..."

The rest of her words faded into the background as Chakotay remembered
his last vision quest. That had been days earlier, after Tuvok had
made his startling yes vote on a relationship between Voyager's two
most senior officers. He'd been disappointed at Kathryn's reaction,
and was mildly ashamed that someone had been able to tap into his
thoughts and see him that way.

"Is this a...dream then?" he asked, realizing only after he'd spoken
that he'd cut her off.

"Yes," she answered, not seeming to mind the interruption. "Your
vision quest is very similar to our dream state. That's how I was able
to find you again. Your mind is adjusted to the pattern.  I take it
from your peace that you've found your treasure?" The girl was
rambling on, her words seemed to come very fast to Chakotay's ears.
"You know, you never did tell me your name. I can't understand your
marking... it's not a script I am familiar with."

"What?" Chakotay asked. His mind was still processing the sentence
prior.

"Your name," the girl pointed to his tattoo. "It's unclear. What is
your name?"

"I'm Chakotay. My tattoo doesn't designate my name. It's a symbol of
my people."

The girl seemed to digest that. "Mine says: Aukiyana Tu'kou Sa," She
pointed to each of the distinctive designs within the tattoo.
"Aukiyana for short. It means Obedient Daughter of the Sunshine. I
guess my parents were still hoping." She dimpled at him, before
explaining.  "I am not so appreciative of the ancient ways of my
people. They are not going to be pleased if they discover that I've
sought out the mind of an off-worlder. I was just so curious when you
appeared. I was certain you were one of the ones who'd dared to leave
our world. I wanted to know how you did it."

She laughed at his look of confusion and continued on. "Oh, I know
you're not one of us now. Like the other one. I felt him, too. But he
was very different."

Chakotay found himself both amused and confused by the babbling woman-
child, but it was time to leave. "Well, Aukiyana, it's been a pleasure
to meet you. But I don't know that it's wise for me to remain here in
this dream place, especially if your parents do not wish it."

Aukiyana sighed. "You're right." She gazed morosely at the sands for a
moment before her expression brightened. "Will you come back again?"

"But your parents..." Chakotay began.

"Oh, they won't know! Come on, just once more. My life is one
ridiculous ritual after the other. Please say you'll come. I've been
here alone for 3 days for the purification rites. I'm supposed to be
meditating, but I'm bored out of my mind! Please Chakotay?"

Her wide eyes implored him. Chakotay marveled at the trusting nature
of the young woman, and wondered what crime he stood guilty of by
remaining. He certainly understood her plight. His father had insisted
he learn the many rituals of his people, and he'd hated it. But still,
her parents would not approve, and he would do nothing to go against
their will.

"I'm sorry, Aukiyana, I can't. Besides, I don't even know how I got
here in the first place. Speaking of which, how do I get out of here?"

"One isn't told how to leave the dream place," she said. "One just
does it."

"This is all new to me, remember?"

"Right." Aukiyana thought for a moment. Her eyes brightened. "I know!"
She quickly moved him to a standing position with his arms at his
sides. She then stepped up onto the flat top of the rock. "Hold
still."

Chakotay watched curiously as she placed the palm of one hand over her
tattoo and closed her eyes. She pulled the hand from her brow in a
swift  movement and jabbed him in the center of his forehead. His head
snapped back slightly at the blow, but he was unharmed. He opened his
eyes and looked at her, a brow raised slightly. Was she serious?

"Hmmm," she murmured with a sheepish grin. "Perhaps I should have
listened more carefully to my father's lessons. I'll try again."

This time there was an air of importance attached to her motions.
Chakotay felt the air around him literally buzzing. And then she hit
him. His head snapped back with incredible force, and an involuntary
cry escaped his lips. The last thing he heard was a softly spoken,
"Oops."

---

Kathryn's eyes flew open in shock. She shared a stunned, disoriented
look with her First Officer for half a second before they both came to
their senses.

"Oh, Kathryn," Chakotay gasped, and drew her tightly into his arms.
His sudden cry had certainly given her a fright, and waking up in his
lap hadn't helped. But her heart rate was calming, she couldn't say
the same for Chakotay. His body was drenched and his heart pounded as
if he'd just run a marathon.

"Now that I can breathe again, are you okay?" she asked.

His grip tightened and he began to laugh, his chest vibrated gently
against her.

"Chakotay?" she pushed away from him, curious. She couldn't hold back
the smile that played at her lips; his mirth was contagious.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he gathered himself, bringing his hands to rest
lightly against her waist. "I just had the most interesting dream."

"Oh, really?" Kathryn asked, even more curious. "What, pray tell, did
you dream about?"

"There was this girl.."

"Stop." Kathryn put up a hand. "Before you go any further, Commander.
Do you have any idea what that sounds like?"

Chakotay feigned confusion. "That the captain is jealous?"

Kathryn swatted his shoulder. "And don't you forget it, buster."

Chakotay grinned goofily at her. "Why, I'll have you know that you'll
always be the Captain of my heart, and the Nor'easter of my sailing
ship."

Kathryn laughed at him. "That's incredibly sappy, but sweet. Now, tell
me about this other woman."

"Girl," Chakotay corrected. "She couldn't have been more than 15
Terran years old. She insisted that we'd met before in this 'dream
place'. It all started during my vision quest..." he fell silent for a
few seconds. "Now that I think about it, that dream I've been
having... it all started with that vision quest..."

Kathryn cut him off, suddenly serious. "You've been having a recurring
dream? It didn't happen to involve a desert did it?"

Chakotay frowned. "Essentially, yes. How could you...?"

"Tuvok's been having a similar one. He informed me yesterday because
he was worried that it could affect the safety of the ship. I think he
should be involved in this conversation." Kathryn quickly disentangled
herself from Chakotay's reluctant arms.

"Kathryn, it's 0225 hours." He protested, but grudgingly moved to his
feet.

"We're talking about Tuvok," she reminded him.

"Good point."

---

To his credit Tuvok barely raised a brow when his two superior
officers appeared in his quarters in what amounted to the middle of
night, looking as if they'd both just awakened. "Captain. Commander.
May I offer you a beverage?"

"No thanks." Kathryn answered, and immediately plunged in, explaining
that he and Chakotay had had similar dreams. Tuvok remained silently
contemplative as Chakotay recited the most recent event.

"Do you believe, Commander, that this young woman may have been in
some manner...Vulcan?"

"Well, I didn't check to see if she had green blood, but yes,"
Chakotay answered. "The usual features were there."

"It is strange, then, that she was not able to establish full contact
with me, especially since you possess no telepathic abilities." Tuvok
looked decidedly miffed, for a Vulcan.

Kathryn carefully hid a smile as she interrupted. "If it's true that
these people hailed from the Alpha Quadrant, even in the distant past,
they may have information on a way back home. Has there been anything
in the scans to suggest what planet these people may inhabit?"

Tuvok responded. "Long range scans have detected only two inhabited
systems within 24 light years of our position. The nearer world is
pre-warp, and appears to be an agricultural society. The other,
judging from information we've received from the inhabitants of the
entertainment facility, is the home world of the Craw. There are no
other possibilities within sensor range."

"Hmmm." Kathryn thought. "That could pose a problem then. I'd like for
both of you to try to regain contact, just to determine who and
precisely where these people are. Hopefully her parents won't mind.
I'll ask the Veiliens if they know anything. Although I'm not holding
out too much hope, I believe that we should test every option that
presents itself."

She paused and looked from one man to the other. Tuvok remained mildly
uncomfortable, and Chakotay downright amused. Her lips quirked as she
spoke again. "Well gentlemen, I'll leave you to it. We'll meet to
discuss your progress after the staff meeting."

She really didn't think Tuvok noticed when she winked at Chakotay on
her way out.

---

"Commander Chakotay, could you remain for a moment please?" Chakotay
paused in motion and waited as Tuvok exited the Captain's ready room.
They'd been unsuccessful in reestablishing contact.

"How's Tuvok taking this?" Kathryn asked, as she gestured him to a
seat.

Chakotay grinned. "He mentioned the lack of logic in believing that
any of his distant relatives might be gentle farmers in the middle of
the Delta Quadrant. His money is on the Craw, if not someone more
distant. But I think the thing that is really getting to him is that
he was unable to establish contact."

Kathryn shared his smile, and nodded agreement with his conclusions.
"Can you think of anything else you'd like to try?"

Chakotay shrugged. "Short of asking Tuvok to join me on a mind
meld/vision quest, no." Not exactly something that he would have
thought likely, or desirable, but he offered it any way.

"I don't think that'll become necessary," Kathryn assured him. She
watched him for a moment. "We need to talk, you know."

Chakotay smiled softly. "Yes, we do. Dinner? My place?"  

"I'd love it," Kathryn responded. "But make it dessert." At his wicked
look, she rushed on. "We have the reception dinner with the Veiliens,
remember?"

"Dessert it is," Chakotay agreed. "In the meantime, I need to make
arrangements with the medical facility for transporting the remainder
of the serum. And I should check on B'Elanna and Seven's progress with
the purification facility, and then there's the mining site..."

"Your Captain keeps you very busy," Kathryn teased. "I'm going to have
to talk to her about that." Her eyes touched all that places that she
wouldn't...at the moment. Chakotay's answering look energized her.
"I'll see you before the reception then, Commander. Dismissed."

---

"Commander Chakotay, take a look at this." Iroho whispered. Her voice
echoed across the deep cavern in which they were mining, seeming
deceptively loud in the oddly formed space.

Chakotay glanced up from the ice-covered rock he'd been examining and
approached the younger woman. She'd been searching for the next
probable location of Geridium. Judging from the manner in which her
tricorder beeped, she'd found it and then some. "What have you found
there, Ensign?"

"This is the richest vein I've seen so far," she said, offering the
tricorder so that he could see for himself. "A thin vein extends
beneath these caverns and arcs out in a southerly direction for miles.
Unfortunately, it's covered by a layer of Malciumite. The transporters
won't be able to penetrate it without pattern enhancers and a two-
stage focusing filter."

Chakotay glanced over the readings and immediately agreed with her
assessment. "Looks like we'll have to put the ship in synchronous
orbit for the duration of the mining. What do you say, twenty-four
hours?"

"Give or take a minute or two, Sir," Iroho laughed.

"Good work, " Chakotay commended her. "I'll talk to the Captain.
Meantime, do what you can with the Ceridite."

---

"Come in."

Kathryn frowned as her visitor stepped through the door. "Yes? What is
it, Seven?" This couldn't be good. Seven and B'Elanna were supposed to
be in the Veilien Sciences Center helping to develop a new
purification facility for the Number 3 Moon.

"Captain. I require your assistance. Lieutenant Torres-Paris is
behaving irrationally and making it difficult to complete our task
with the Veilien scientists."

"This sounds like a personnel matter, Seven. Have you spoken with
Commander Chakotay?" Of course, Kathryn knew of the frequent
disagreements between her resident ex-Borg and half-Klingon, but it
was normally B'Elanna who was driven to file a complaint.  She was
curious as to what B'Elanna could have done to cause the normally
unflappable Seven to be the one to complain, and to the Captain, no
less.

"I have not spoken with him," Seven admitted stiffly. "He would have
chosen her side."

Kathryn blinked. "Excuse me?"

Seven looked at her oddly. "I said that Commander Chakotay would have
chosen Lieutenant Torres-Paris's side. Am I not speaking loudly
enough, Captain?"

"Yes. You're speaking plenty loud enough, Seven. I was just surprised
to hear you say that Commander Chakotay would take B'Elanna's side.
You don't believe he'd be fair in his handling of this situation?"

"It has nothing to do with his fairness Captain. In my study of
Commander Chakotay, I have determined that he prefers surroundings
that contain items that are outdated, and not entirely functional.
There is no efficiency in such a choice. That is why I came to you."

Kathryn's mouth dropped open. Before she began to formulate a reply,
her door chimed again.  "Come in."

B'Elanna and Chakotay filed into the room. B'Elanna's countenance was
one of barely contained impatience, Chakotay's one of long-suffering.
When he met her gaze over B'Elanna's head, one corner of his mouth
quirked.

There were several moments of silence before both women began speaking
at the same time. B'Elanna's "she abandoned me on the planet!" was
half-drowned out by Seven's "she is impeding our progress".

"Just a moment ladies," Kathryn raised her hands in a gesture of
surrender. "I'm sure that whatever Commander Chakotay decides in this
matter will be just fine with me." With that, she shot Seven and
B'Elanna pointed looks and Chakotay a sweet smile before pushing away
from her desk and entering the bridge. Tom broke off from what she
could only imagine was his usual brand of humor.

"Carry on," she laughed and continued on to the turbo-lift. Obviously
marriage hadn't changed him completely.

---

"You're glowing," Chakotay whispered near Kathryn's ear as they stood
in the entryway of the Royal Veilien Reception Hall.

Kathryn shot him a quick glance. "Behave yourself." But her heart rate
quickened nonetheless, an unexpected feeling of euphoria had come with
her decision to follow her heart. Standing there beside Chakotay felt
right on all it's many levels, companion, commanding officer,
friend... Something she hadn't known was awry fell suddenly in place.

Chakotay's reaction to her chiding remark was one of his patently
devious grins that suggested that misbehaving would certainly be worth
her while.

She returned his smile happily, barely catching the knowing look that
passed between the couple behind them. Tom and B'Elanna had become
hopeless matchmakers after their relationship had become more serious.
Singles all over the ship had hoped that the two of them would tone
down in marriage, but judging from the latest scuttlebutt, no
marriageable humanoid was safe.

The guard who'd led them along the corridor moved suddenly, nodding
ascent to some command given through his ear piece. He turned and
gestured that the Voyager contingent follow him. They were led along a
plushly carpeted ramp-way that seemed to wind halfway around the
building. There were security check points every so often until they
reached a lift. They all filed in with yet another guard - Tuvok would
have been appreciative of the apparent seriousness with which the
Veilien security officers took their jobs. The lift opened into a wide
hall, elegantly decorated and full of servants attending to numerous
tasks. Glass doors were opened wide, allowing the sounds of music,
laughter and night air to filter into the hall. The guard led them
forward and they emerged on the roof.

Kathryn was awed. During her previous visits she simply beamed into
the palace. Today they'd taken a shuttle just as the sun was setting.
It had set fully during the time in the entry hall and now the full
beauty of the 'Veil' was clearly visible. The guard paused to allow
them to enjoy the view before directing them toward their table.

Kathryn thanked him when he nodded and took his leave. The room was
brimming with people, adults and children alike, all dressed in fancy
attire. A line of buffet tables sat to one side of the room staffed by
more servants, a group of Veilien's played oddly shaped cone
instruments that emitted an amazing variety of sounds and another
group performed intricate dance motions on another platform opposite
the musicians. The energy level was incredible. Tom and B'Elanna
decided to test the local cuisine, Neelix bounded along behind them
like a happy puppy. Lieutenant Tanner and Ensign Bluelock remained
nearby.

Kathryn was about to suggest that they enjoy the buffet as well when
she heard a small voice calling from one side of the room. She turned
just as a small body was launched in Chakotay's general direction.
Bluelock and Tanner immediately changed stance, moving into a more
protective position. Chakotay quickly gestured that everything was
okay before going to one knee to greet the small child.  "Hello
Ta'ina, you look beautiful."  Her red hair had been cut into a short
curly mop.

The little girl, completely oblivious to the security incident she'd
nearly caused threw her arms around his neck. "I knew you could help
us, Chakotay. I just knew it."

Chakotay pulled the girl away from his neck and looked her in the
eyes. "Thank you, but I can't take the credit. It belongs to our
Doctor. But I'll be sure to tell him what you said."

"Okay," she smiled at him, then turned her eyes up toward Kathryn. "Is
this your honor-bound one?" she asked.

Chakotay glanced quickly up at Kathryn, devilment in his gaze and
winked conspiratorially toward Ta'ina.  "Oh yes, definitely, if she'll
have me."

Kathryn's heart lurched, and she gaped at her first officer for
several moments until her brain managed to convince her feet to move
forward so she could introduce herself. "Hello, Ta'ina, my name is
Kathryn Janeway, and I'm very happy to meet you." She shared another
stunned look with Chakotay.

Rushing feet and an admonishing word interrupted. "Tai, come back
here." Both Kathryn and Chakotay glanced up at the frazzled woman
muttering apologies. "She's a very curious child," the woman was
saying.

"It's quite all right," Chakotay said as he came to his feet. "We met
a couple of days ago at the medical facility. I'm Commander Chakotay
of ... " His voice trailed off as the woman looked at him strangely.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized, quickly glancing away, then bowed her
head distractedly. "Thank you for the honor of your name." With that
she grabbed her daughter's hand, "Come, Ta'ina." And was gone. Kathryn
and Chakotay were left to stare curiously in her wake.

Shrugging the incident off, they headed for the food tables. According
to the schedules they'd been given, the official portion of the
reception would take place after dinner. They had nearly an hour
remaining. The menu samples had revealed that most of the vegetable
dishes would be suitable for consumption with little difficulty.
Kathryn was ready to test that theory.

As they approached the line, Tom, B'Elanna and Neelix passed on the
way back to their table. Neelix's was literally brimming with items of
every consistency, texture and color. He was babbling on about
something called Ke'la Gelatin. Kathryn's guess was that he meant the
brownish green blob in the center of his plate. She decided that she'd
just chosen the first item on her avoid list. Chakotay seconded the
motion.

"Excuse me, Sir," a group of males approached. The first made a motion
in which he touched his brow, his shoulder and his heart. The rest
followed suit. "My name is Beeden, would you honor us with your name?"

Chakotay shared a look with Kathryn. "I am Commander Chakotay, and
this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager."

"You honor us," Beeden spoke, and made the gesture again.

"What does that gesture represent?" Kathryn asked.

Beeden frowned slightly and glanced among his companions. "It means
'in mind, equal, at heart, equal'. Do you not know this? You walk with
one who has visited."

"One who has visited?" Kathryn questioned. "Visited when?"

"Before," was Beeden's answer. "Please excuse us."

"I don't like this," Kathryn said as the group walked away. "Yes, he
could be talking about earlier when you came to the clinic, but I
don't think so. There is something going on here."

"I agree," Chakotay said. "And now that I think about it, I've been
getting odd looks since the very first time I arrived here with Tom.
Perhaps I resemble someone."

"Possibly," Kathryn was thinking. "But you'd be hard pressed to be
mistaken for a Veilien, their skin is more gray than any thing else.
I'll ask Tuvok to look into it."

They continued on to the food tables without further interruption.
Chakotay seemed very thoughtful as they ate and took in the many
sights around the room. Several more times during the course of the
meal others approached. Chakotay treated each one kindly and told them
his and Kathryn's name, as well as whomever was seated at the table at
the time. He was very careful not to elevate himself in any way, but
it didn't seem to matter. Many in the room had begun to notice. Before
long, another familiar face appeared from among the crowd.

"Captain Janeway, how pleasant. And Mr. Neelix. I see that you have
made yourselves comfortable." Garaden gestured expansively. "But I am
afraid that I have not met the other members of your party."

Kathryn obligingly introduced the rest of her team. She didn't miss
the way Garaden's eyes lingered over Chakotay. He made a slight bowing
gesture to her first officer. "So you are the one, Sir, who found the
young child? My father would be very pleased to meet your
acquaintance. Captain?"

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and lightly touched her hand beneath the
table. At her slight nod, he turned back to the Veilien prince. "I
would be honored."

Kathryn watched as the two men crossed the room and approached a
curtained platform. Several guards were stationed on either side of
the wide steps that led to the curtained area. The upper guard opened
the curtain as Chakotay and Garaden vanished inside. Kathryn sat
staring at the curtain, an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."

Kathryn tapped her combadge, still eyeing the curtained area.  "Go
ahead, Commander."

"Captain, we have detected an unidentifiable energy surge across
several subspace bands. "

Everyone around the table was immediately alert. "Can you tell where
it came from?" Kathryn asked.

"Not as yet, Captain. It does not appear to emanate from the Veilien
system. We are currently scanning nearby objects and systems."

"Thank you, Mr. Tuvok." Her voice dropped slightly. "How are you doing
on our other matter?"

"I have not found any references in the data which we received."

"All right, Tuvok. Keep me apprised. Janeway out."

Turning toward the two security officers, Bluelock and Tanner, "Stay
here." Kathryn's unease had gone up several notches. Pushing back her
chair, she made her way toward the raised platform. Despite the
motions of the elite guard to halt her approach, she was determined to
find out why the monarch had been so interested in Chakotay, and
whether that interest was related to the energy surge.

As she opened her mouth to argue, there was a movement at the top of
the steps. The curtains parted, revealing a very pale Garaden. His
quickly scanned the room, then noticing her moved hastily toward the
bottom of the steps.

"Captain Janeway," he began in a breathless rush, grabbing her arm.
"Does Commander Chakotay have any food allergies?"

Kathryn's eyes widened in alarm as she hurried up the stairs alongside
him. "What happened?"

"One moment he was fine," Garaden mumbled. "And then..." His voice
trailed off as they entered the curtain.

The only details Kathryn caught was that the king's dining suite was a
miniature version of the outer room. She made a bee-line for the area
before the throne around which a group of people were huddled. A
sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

The group parted to let her through. Chakotay lay at its center, eyes
closed, his features flushed as if with fever. She ran to his side
doing a cursory examination for injuries. His skin was hot to the
touch. "What happened?" she called to the group around her.

Garaden spoke from her side. "We were conversing, when he began to
change color as you see here. And then he closed his eyes and fell to
the floor. "

"I have to get him back to the ship," Kathryn said. "Quickly. I don't
know what is wrong with him, but our Doctor may."

Garaden immediately understood her request. He clapped quickly and all
of the servants exited the area, only him, the king and his counselors
remained. "Go ahead, Captain. Please keep us informed of his
condition."

Kathryn nodded. "Janeway to Voyager. Two to beam directly to sickbay."

---

"The others are on their way back to the ship," Tuvok spoke as he
entered sickbay.  Both stood and watched the Doctor examine Chakotay
for several moments. His tunic had been removed, leaving his chest
bare. Only his trousers and boots stuck out of the opposite end of the
diagnostic arm. Every bit of exposed skin was reddened and dry.

Tuvok spoke softly. "I have felt the presence again, Captain. This
time much stronger, and different somehow. Here in this room, it is
stronger still."

Kathryn turned sharply. "When did this began? Do you think it is
related somehow to Commander Chakotay's condition?"

"It began shortly after we detected the surge in subspace." Tuvok's
brow raised as he turned again to Chakotay.  "I do not think it is a
coincidence."

Kathryn was more concerned than ever. "Have you found anything,
Doctor?"

The Doctor shot her a long-suffering look. "His body temperature is
102 degrees and holding, his heart rate, breathing, almost every
systems is operated at twice normal. I've administered temperature
altering drugs to prevent his temperature from rising any further. As
of yet, I have not been able to determine what is causing this
reaction."

The Doctor moved back toward the head of the bed and sighed as he ran
the tricorder over the commander's skull. "His brain wave patterns
indicate, of all things, that he's dreaming. But there is no REM
activity. I'll need to run more tests if I'm to provide any more
answers than that."

"Captain might I make a suggestion?" Tuvok spoke from her side.

"Go ahead."

"If the commander is experiencing a similar episode as he did last
night, his present condition may be related. This may be an
opportunity for us to acquire the information we need, as well as more
information about Commander Chakotay's condition. I propose a mind
meld."

Kathryn hesitated. She knew that she could trust Tuvok not to delve
into Chakotay's private matters, but still a mind meld was an
intrusion. She looked thoughtfully toward her first officer and
suddenly remembered the words he'd spoken earlier in her ready room.
He'd offered to submit to a mind meld, although she was sure it wasn't
something he'd have wanted to do.

"What's your prognosis at the moment, Doctor?" she asked.

"Notwithstanding that I wasn't made aware of any earlier episodes,"
the Doctor began. "It's dangerous to administer the temperature
altering drugs in this quantity for longer than twenty-four hours. And
if his temperature is allowed to rise, brain damage may occur. "

Kathryn glanced toward Tuvok and nodded. "I'm sure you'll want to
monitor, Doctor."

"Of course."

---

~~Chakotay was again in the desert. But there was no warm, comforting
sunshine, only blustering winds that blew up painful torrents of
biting sand. Despite his attempts to block them, they still penetrated
his clothing, tearing at his skin. Eerie sounds echoed out of the
heated darkness.

"You are Chakotay," a voice said, and the winds seemed to calm in the
area around him as if some invisible field now separated them from the
deserts fury. A face appeared from the darkness.

"I am Jey'Dredek. Aukiyana Tu'kou Sa is my daughter."

A sense of dread washed over Chakotay. He could see the family
resemblance. Dredek's tattoo was similar to that of his daughters with
some subtle change that Chakotay was sure he wouldn't be able to make
out unless he saw them side by side. "Is she all right?" he asked.

Dredek bowed his head low. "She is not, and I fear for her safety.
That is why I have contacted you in this way. I need you to find her,
and bring her home."

Chakotay looked at the man in amazement. "How could I find your
daughter, I don't even know where this place is."

 "This is the dream place. You will not find her there."

Chakotay sighed, and began to feel a little lightheaded. "I don't
understand what it is that I can do."

 Dredek frowned as well. "After I discovered that my daughter had
 contacted an off worlder, we...had a disagreement. She ran away. She
 said that she wanted to get as far away from her people as possible.
 I know that she finds our rituals unbearable, but I want her to know
 something of her heritage. She activated the machine in her efforts
 to leave, and now she is trapped on the minor world." Dredek paused,
 remorse clear in his features. "I can no longer feel her presence."

Chakotay was feeling worse by the moment. "I don't know where your
world is," he said, regretfully. "And I think I need to get back to my
ship."

"Your ship is where you left it," Dredek said. He reached up and
touched his hand to his brow and then to Chakotay's. "Remember," he
said. The old man suddenly straightened. "There is another here."

Chakotay barely had the strength to turn. "There is," Tuvok spoke and
stepped out of the storm that surrounded them. "Who are you, sir?"
Tuvok asked.

"You are performing the Touch," Dredek said with amazement. "But you
do not bear the mark" He pondered this situation for a moment, before
introducing himself. "I am Jey'Dredek, an elder of my people. I have
enlisted the aid of Chakotay in finding my daughter. Are you aware of
the information I have given him?"

Tuvok concentrated for a moment. "I am. But you must release Commander
Chakotay. His body is not able to function adequately in this state.
We fear for his life."

Dredek looked immediately horrified; and Chakotay, too tired even to
speak, understood why he was feeling so badly. "I apologize greatly.
The machine must have strengthened our communication. You must hurry.
Will you help find her?"

"I will consult with our captain. I believe that she will allow it.
But Commander Chakotay will need to recuperate from this ordeal,
perhaps another member of our crew will undertake the mission."

"No!" Dredek was adamant. "I cannot guarantee the safety of another.
He has the key of one who may enter. Only those who accompany him will
be allowed to land."

"Could you not give the key to me?" Tuvok suggested.

"Only the female of our species have the ability to pass on the key."

"What is this key?" Tuvok asked, but Dredek began to blur.

"He is the key," Dredek said. "Stay close to him at..."

Everything faded to black.~~

---

Kathryn caught Tuvok as his legs went out from under him. The Doctor
was otherwise occupied, as Chakotay had gone into convulsions. Tuvok
struggled to pull himself together. When he had sufficient strength,
he straightened his back and took in the scene around him.

Kathryn was torn between worry over her two officers, and a desire to
learn what Tuvok had found out. She made her decision and moved
quickly to Chakotay's bedside. The Doctor had administered yet another
drug, the convulsions stopped and the redness of his skin began to
fade to a more normal brownish tone.

If Kathryn didn't know any better, she'd have thought that the Doctor
had released a sigh of relief - she certainly had. She looked to him
for his report.

The Doctor met her gaze with a smile. "I think he's going to be fine,
Captain. Whatever you did, Commander Tuvok, it worked. Eventually. The
convulsions were in reaction to the high temperature. All of his
levels are returning to normal. With rest, he should make a full
recovery.  He's sleeping now - I'm going to administer a sedative to
make sure he remains that way."

"You may want to hold off for a moment, Doctor." Tuvok turned toward
the Captain. "I have the information we sought earlier." In typical
Vulcan fashion, Tuvok revealed what he had learned during the mind
meld as well as the star charts and other information that Jey'Dredek
had planted in Chakotay's mind.

"They are located on a binary world 1.2 light years from our current
position. Our scans have previously indicated that these are dead
worlds, no life forms. It appears that we were mistaken. Jey'Dredek
does not believe the girl can survive on the minor world alone."

"Do you think this is a trap of some kind?" Kathryn asked. They'd been
caught often enough before.

"No, Captain, I do not. These Teloran's are a telepathic race, I
sensed no falsehood from him. I believe that he will honor his promise
of safe passage."

"B'Elanna and Seven are at least a day away from completing the
refinery, and Voyager needs to remain in synchronous orbit for another
14 in order to complete the mining. You'd have to take a shuttle."

"Understood Captain."

The Doctor interrupted. "I object! Surely you're not suggesting
sending this man off on a mission in his current condition?"

"Keep it down, Doctor," Chakotay cut in weakly from the biobed.
"You're disturbing your patients." He turned his head with some effort
and focused on Kathryn. "I want to do this. She could die out there if
I don't."

Kathryn stepped closer and took his hand. "I know. It's nearly a ten
hour journey, I want you sleeping eight of them. If you don't, Tuvok
will be taking names. Got it?"

"Yes Ma'am," Chakotay smiled up at her.

"Good." She stared at him a moment longer before backing away. "Okay.
Tuvok, prepare the shuttle, let me know when you're ready. Voyager
will be 18 hours behind you."

"Aye." Tuvok exited sickbay.

"You on the other hand," she turned back to the commander. "Will be
beamed onto the shuttle."

Chakotay smiled. "Some people with do anything for special treatment."

"Indeed they will." Kathryn agreed.

"You know, I'd like an answer to my question some time before we reach
the Alpha Quadrant." Chakotay teased. Kathryn had hoped he'd forgotten
about that. She'd thought that they'd be able to take their
relationship more slowly - this was a little more like warp speed.

Kathryn glanced toward the still hovering Doctor - the rumor mill was
going to be booming.  "We have plenty of time."

Chakotay smiled and his eyes begin to drift closed. She patted his
hand and began to move away, but he tightened his grip.  "My
butterfly," he said, struggling to stay awake. "I didn't take it to
the surface. It's on my table."

"I'll make sure you have it," Kathryn smiled at him. She'd made a
habit of keeping hers with her, too.

---

Kathryn watched as the shuttle went to warp. The night-shift bridge
crew hadn't seen so much action in quite a while, she knew. Turning
the bridge back over to Lieutenant Wilson, she made her way to her
ready room. There was still the question of the strange behavior of
some of the Veilien citizens, and she knew just the person to ask.

She configured the computer to make the connection from her ready
room. Within several minutes, she had Prince Garaden on the link. He
seemed genuinely concerned about Chakotay's well-being. She assured
him that Chakotay would be okay, and that the Veilien people were not
to blame for his condition.

"If there is anything I can do to assist, Captain. We are already so
greatly in your debt."

"There is a question of concern that you may be able to help us with,"
Kathryn said with a smile. "Many of the Veilien people were especially
friendly. Several used the phrase 'he who has visited'. Do you know
what that means?"

Garaden's smile faded and he glanced away for a moment. "There is a
very old myth among our people. There are some who  revere those who
visited our planet many centuries ago. They simply appeared out of
nowhere, and all bore tattoos as does Commander Chakotay.  It was
considered a great honor for a visitor to tell his or her name. It is
partially due to this myth that we requested that you not use your
transporters among the common people."

Kathryn nodded as she tried to digest what Garaden had revealed. "So
these ancient 'visitors' didn't actually exist?"

"From the number of accounts from all over our planet, it seems likely
that something must have occurred. During those times we had very
little technology, and it took weeks or months to travel to distant
areas. It would not have been possible to correlate such distant
accounts."

"Were there ever any writings or documents about these beings?"
Kathryn asked.

Garaden shrugged. "I'm sure there are, but they'd probably be stored
by older methods than are used today."

"Would it be possible for us to have access to that information?"

Garaden smiled. "I'll put my assistant on it tomorrow morning."

---

Chakotay opened his eyes. Beige. For a moment confusion swept over
him, and then he remembered where he was. Rolling over carefully, he
maneuvered himself out of the emergency bunk. He saw Tuvok appear in
the doorway as he grasped the bottom of the emergency bunk and swung
it upward. The compartment closed with a soft click.

"I see you are awake, Commander. You have slept for 9.3 hours. We
shall arrive at the planet designated Telora Minor in seventeen
minutes and 32 seconds. I presume you have personal matters to
attend."

Chakotay stifled a smile. Tuvok spoke as if he never had 'personal
matters to attend'. Well, Chakotay had it on good authority that they
did. "Thank you, Tuvok," he said instead. "I'll be ready in about ten
minutes."

"Very well, Sir. You will find that some of your personal items are
stored in locker 2A." With that the Vulcan disappeared toward the
front of the shuttle.

Chakotay allowed his smile to shine through as he opened the locker. A
clean uniform, as well as a small case containing his personal shaving
accessories and butterfly disk were stored inside. He took the items
and entered the small lavatory. He reached the command area of the
shuttle with a minute to spare.

Tuvok immediately began to fill him in on the particulars. The Teloran
system was made up of only two planets, the larger was orbited by one
moon. Telora Major had an elliptical orbit and made it's way around
the sun in 400.2 days. Telora Minor was much smaller and had a
perfectly circular orbit, an oddity rarely found in nature. At four
times during the year, the planets' orbits actually crossed. Both
planets were surrounded by an energy field completely unlike anything
in Starfleet's database. The shielding surrounding Telora Minor was
several times stronger than that of the Major world.

Tuvok had also discovered an additional oddity. Telora Minor was the
source of the subspace pulse that Voyager had picked up the night
before. It maintained a steady background thrum that barely registered
on the shuttle's sensors.

"I have not detected any life signs," Tuvok commented.

"It's possible that the shielding is blocking our scanners somehow, or
maybe that subspace pulse is really a jamming device..."

"Possible." Tuvok responded. "It is also possible that the girl did
not survive. We do not know what type of environment exists on the
opposite side of this shielding. And judging from her father's worry,
it seems within the realm of possibility that it may be hostile."

"I'm going to have to see that first," Chakotay replied grimly. "If I
were her father, I'd at least want that much."

"As would I," Tuvok said in solemn agreement which drew Chakotay's
attention. But the Vulcan's facade was solidly in place.

"How do you propose we penetrate the shielding?" Tuvok asked.

"Dredek promised safe passage," Chakotay said. "I'm taking us in."

Aside from a subtle shimmering as the shuttle drew close, not much
happened. The shuttle glided effortlessly through the barrier with no
problem. Tuvok raised a brow, but made no comment.

As they passed into the atmosphere, a vast desert spread out beneath
them. Small golden pyramid-like structures were visible every so often
as were rocky structures. In the distance a golden mountain range
gleamed brilliantly, causing the automatic diffusers to kick in.

"Curious," Tuvok murmured at he tapped at the console.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked, switching over to ascertain what the
Vulcan had found.

Readings were beginning to come in. "I'm reading massive power stores
beneath the planet surface." Tuvok tapped a few more commands. "I
would like to collect a sample of the sand. It appears to be emitting
an energy signal of its own."

Chakotay was amazed at the amount of energy that was radiating from
the surface, there was a lot more to Telora Minor than met the eye. He
watched as Tuvok attempted to beam a portion of sand into a collector
vessel, but the pattern would not remain cohesive. "I think we should
definitely look further into this Tuvok, but our first goal should be
to find the girl."

"Of course, Commander." Tuvok toggled his console, and continued to
scan for signs of life. Silence settled over the shuttle as they flew
a standard search and rescue grid pattern.

"You know, there is something I don't understand," Chakotay began to
speak after nearly two hours. "There are no signs that any ship has
traveled this area of space in quite some time. How did a young girl
manage to get lost on a deserted planet?"

"That is something of a mystery," Tuvok agreed. "Unfortunately, there
was no time to ask that question of Jey'Dredek. Perhaps the machine to
which he referred played a part."

"I'm getting something," Chakotay's console pinged. There was a faint
flashing blip on his console, indicating life signs. Flying the
shuttle in a wide arc, he circled one of the small golden pyramids and
landed the shuttle. They both grabbed Starfleet issue eye protection
before stepping out into the glaring rays.

A sweet cloying smell constituted their first breath outside the
shuttle, and the still air was quite a bit more dense than shipboard
norm. The heat was oppressive.

Both men pulled out their tricorders and moved toward the pyramid from
which they'd detected the signal. Up close it looked more like a
golden tent than a pyramid, rising ten meters into the sky. They found
a triangular opening on one side.

"Aukiyana?" Chakotay called the girl's name. "Are you in there?" Tuvok
joined in. "This is Chakotay and Tuvok, we're here to help you. Your
father sent us." Only silence greeted them.

Chakotay stepped into the tent first and came to a sudden halt. The
entire inside wall was covered with flashing controls and monitoring
screens. One of the screens showed very clearly the shuttle as it sat
several dozen yards away. A readout scrolled beneath it in a
picturesque script. Lying in the center of the floor was a young girl
with flowing black hair. As Chakotay went to examine her, Tuvok began
to scan the area.

"I think she's suffering from heat stroke," Chakotay said, touching a
hand to her hot, dry skin. "I think if we get her back to the shuttle
and get some fluids in her she'll be okay." He quickly opened one of
the medical cases and administered a hypo-spray. She stirred slightly,
but did not awaken.

"I believe her father will be pleased," Tuvok nodded his agreement
from the opposite side of the room. "This appears to be a control
center." He reached out to touch one of the controls. "The function of
each switch is indicated by an image inscribed on its surface."
Immediately the lights flickered to dim and the opening slide
seamlessly shut.

"Interesting." Tuvok commented in the ensuing silence. Chakotay felt
that that was as close to an "oops" as he was ever likely to get.

"Can you tell what happened?"

"While this switch clearly indicates that it should open the door, the
device is not responding to my command." Tuvok glanced toward the area
where the door had previously existed. "Strange."

Chakotay ran a hand over Aukiyana's brow double-checking the action of
the hypo-spray. The clamminess seemed to be subsiding. Surer now that
she would be all right, he made his way toward the console. As he
reached a hand over the console, the room came alive. New readouts
appeared and the light level increased.

Tuvok's brow was getting a workout. "It likes me," Chakotay said with
a grin.

"I do not think like and dislike enters into it, Commander. Jey'Dredek
said that you were the key, perhaps the console is somehow in tune to
you."

Chakotay's smile deepened. "You're just jealous."

Tuvok all but rolled his eyes as he moved toward Aukiyana. "If you
will open the door,  I will place this young woman on the shuttle
where she will be more comfortable."

Chakotay touched the appropriate button and the doors shimmered into
existence and slid open.

"Thank you," Tuvok murmured as he exited the tent.

Chakotay decided that the least he could do after ribbing the Vulcan
was to collect a sand sample. The tricorder began to sort through the
components of which the sand was made, while it was still compiling
the information he was surprised to hear a sound from behind him.

Turning, he discovered that the tent's console was picking up the
sound from inside the shuttle. Tuvok had placed Aukiyana in the
emergency bed's restraints. He must have carried the medical kits as
well, because he double-checked her condition before stowing the kit.
The console must have tapped into the shuttle's audio-visual systems.

Tuvok had moved away from the storage lockers and was headed forward
toward the shuttle's exit ramp. Just as he cleared the doorway,
something happened. Chakotay felt a thrumming vibration beginning
beneath his feet. The door again slid shut and disappeared seamlessly
in the tent's walls. The reverberations suddenly ceased and an arcing
beam shot out of the side of the tent. It's gray-green beam caught
Tuvok in the shoulder, throwing him back into the shuttle. He landed
limply against the wall and did not move.

The next sounds made Chakotay's blood run cold. "Accessing Auto-Return
Parameters."

"Chakotay to Tuvok," Chakotay tapped at his combadge, only silence
greeted his ears.

He turned his eyes toward the console, searching frantically for the
button he'd used to activate the door - all the images had shifted,
nothing was as it had been before.

"Lifesigns, unknown life form: Unconscious." The shuttle's computer
continued down its checklist. "Lifesigns, Commander Tuvok:
Unconscious. Location and Lifesigns: Commander Chakotay, unknown and
unavailable - presumed missing in action.  Shuttlecraft situation and
location: Unstable and Unsafe. Last known location of USS Voyager:
768.21 by 88.47. Auto-Return initiated and confirmed."

"Door open!" Chakotay spoke to the air around him, giving up on
finding the desired switch. "Release. Unlock." The doors remained
stubbornly closed as the shuttle's door began to slowly close and the
engines powered.  Chakotay remained helplessly enclosed within the
tent as the shuttle disappeared into the sky. As it passed through the
shielding, the monitor switched off and the control panel returned to
its previous configuration. The door slid obediently open.

---

Kathryn sat on the edge of her bed pretending to concentrate on
reports, but it was a useless endeavor. She couldn't train her mind on
anything beyond the thought of what it would be like if she and
Chakotay did marry. That she was actually considering it, was amazing
in and of itself, aside from the inevitable problems. But they'd faced
worse, hadn't they?

"Bridge to Captain Janeway."

"Janeway here. What is it Lieutenant Downey?" She pulled her mind back
from her musings, wondering what new disaster could possibly be
occurring. It was just after 7:30 p.m., and the area of space in which
they were traveling wasn't' exactly over populated.

"Captain," the Lieutenant seemed slightly nervous. "The shuttle
Sacajawea has appeared on our scanners. Its Auto-Return Program has
been initiated."

Kathryn's heart lurched. "How long before it reaches us?"

"At current speeds, 15 minutes."

"I'm on my way." Kathryn was already entering the turbo-lift.

---

"Report!" she barked immediately upon entering the bridge.

"We've detected two life forms aboard. The Auto-Return log is being
transmitted now."

"Send it to my console," she ordered and settled into her command
chair. She read the entire log twice before her brain accepted it.
Location and Lifesigns, Commander Chakotay: Unknown...
unavailable...missing in action.... Squaring her shoulders, she pushed
her feelings aside and concentrated on the other two who occupied the
shuttle. If she was to have any hope of recovering Chakotay, she'd
need Tuvok's help.

"As soon as they are within transporter range, have them beamed
directly to sick-bay. Downey, you have the bridge. Inform the Doctor
of incoming casualties and tractor the shuttle into the bay."

---

Two bodies materialized on bio-bed's just as Kathryn stepped into
sickbay. The Doctor was on them immediately. While he tended to a very
pale Tuvok, Kathryn took a moment to glance at the young woman who was
beginning to stir. Her simple robes were dusty and torn, and her hair
lay in tangles.

Her eyes flickered and she focused confused brown eyes on Kathryn,
then over her shoulder and beyond. She gasped and tried to sit up, but
Kathryn placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Are you Aukiyana?" she
asked.

The girl's eyes widened, and she settled back against the surface.
"How do you know who I am? Where am I? What is this place?"

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager, and
Commander Chakotay told me your name.  Your father asked him to help
find you after you ran away. But something went wrong, and now
Chakotay is missing and you are on Voyager."

"Oh no..." Aukiyana murmured, her eyes suddenly tearing. "This is all
my fault."

"No, it's not, " Kathryn tried to console her, but the girl was
quickly become hysterical. Kathryn threw the Doctor a quick glance. He
was already on it, having loaded a hypo-spray and headed her way. He
did a quick compatibility scan, injected her and moved back to his
other patient.

"Can you tell what happened to him?" Kathryn asked.

"He's received a sizable stun, and suffered a concussion from contact
with what I gather to have been the wall of the shuttle, judging from
the fragments of course." Kathryn grimaced at the Doctor's detail. "He
should be completely recovered by morning."

"I'd like to speak to Commander Tuvok as soon as he awakens." Kathryn
gazed worriedly down at her security officer, and then over her
shoulder at the frightened girl. "How long will she be out?"

"At least 8 hours," was the Doctor's reply. "I'd like to take the time
to do a thorough examination of her."

"All right. Keep me apprised."

---

Chakotay was growing weaker. The hot, thick atmosphere wasn't
conducive to comfortable breathing, and whatever odor wasn't helping.
After the shuttle had left, he'd examined the sand and a bit of the
surrounding area. He didn't wander too far from the golden tent,
though. First rule of being lost: Stay where you are.

He hadn't had to go far to make some amazing discoveries. The sand
that made up the tent, and covered the surface of the ground appeared
to be mini solar receptors. The energy from the sun was absorbed and
stored deep beneath the surface. The readings were off the scale. As
best as he could tell from the console was that the shield around the
planet altered the sunlight in some way, making it more usable by
whatever this planet was designed to power. He suspected, judging from
the sheer immensity of the operation, that it was more than a simple
transporter.

After almost seven hours, his mouth felt like it was filled with dust
and the console was beginning to swim before his eyes. Uncapping his
canteen, he took a small sip, but it wasn't nearly enough. He replaced
the top and pressed on. He wanted to learn as many of the console's
secrets as he could. He'd been recording a log in his tricorder, but
he'd long since lost most of his voice. He hoped that Voyager would be
able to decipher his raspy whispers.

He'd completed another analysis, when something shocking appeared on
the console. It swirled briefly as he accessed the   file. He'd
discovered that whomever had designed the system had included a demo
of each function, almost as if they'd expected their users to be
rusty, or unfamiliar with the console. A star chart appeared and a
menu of coordinates scrolled before him. One of them caught his eye,
as it looked vaguely familiar.

He selected it and the scenario played out. The swirl tunneled ... his
mind made the connection. He gasped. "Oh my..." He had to get this
message to Kathryn. Infused with renewed strength, he looked for a
way. There had to be a way.

-- --

Kathryn had just run yet another unsuccessful scenario on her bridge
console. Voyager had reached Telora Minor forty minutes earlier, and
they as yet had no means of penetrating the shields. Tuvok was still
unconscious in sickbay, and their guest would not awaken for five more
hours, according to the Doctor's prediction.  She was toying absently
with her butterfly disk as she rethought the model. She felt a slight
tingle and glanced sharply at the device.

"Sickbay to Janeway."

"Yes Doctor?"  

"Despite the fact that it is 0300 and you should be sleeping, I am
calling to inform you that Commander Tuvok has awakened."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn was out of her seat and on her way.

---

Tuvok moved slowly as he described all that they had discovered on the
surface of Telora Minor.  Tuvok did not believe that a human could
survive on the surface for any extended period of time.

"We need to get down there and get Chakotay back. Do you know how to
get past the shields?"

"We simply flew the shuttle through. Commander Chakotay said that
Jey'Dredek had promised safe passage and so it occurred."

"What was it you said, Tuvok? That he was 'the key'. What does that
mean?"

"I am uncertain. But, Jey'Dredek said that only females could pass on
the key. And all of the command center controls within  the structure
we found responded to the Commander's touch."

Kathryn paced for several moments, and pinched her nose. "What would
the females have that the males don't have?"

Tuvok thought for a moment. "Physiologically speaking, they would have
different reproductive organs, as well as..."

"Exactly!" Kathryn said. "That's it. The key has to be DNA. Think
about it. To a low tech society, it would appear as if the females
passed on this key. It would be a birth right. Only those who were
born of Telora could come and go. "

"But how would Commander Chakotay's DNA become acceptable to their
systems." Tuvok asked.

"It still works. And especially since everything responded to
Chakotay's touch. All that we know about these people suggests that
there is an underlying level of technology of which we don't begin to
understand. Perhaps something in the way Aukiyana touched Chakotay
allowed his DNA to be scanned and added to the collective memory or
security system of their machinery."

Tuvok thought for a moment. "That is possible. I was not attacked
until I was no longer in the immediate vicinity of either Aukiyana or
Commander Chakotay. And Jey'Dredek's last words before Commander
Chakotay went into convulsions may well have been 'stay close to him
at all times'."

"Right!" Kathryn made a bee-line for the door.

"Where are you going, Captain?" Tuvok was off the bio-bed and right
behind her.

"I'm going to get Chakotay."

"How do you propose to do that? What if we are incorrect? I do not
think hair or any other such thing will suffice as all of those items
were available on the shuttle."

"If we're incorrect, I'll never get passed the shielding. And I have
an ace in the hole." Kathryn reached into her pocket and pulled out
her butterfly disk. "It's imprinted with mine and Chakotay's DNA."

"Then I should be the one to go," Tuvok said.

"Sorry, Tuvok, it won't work for you." With that she left her security
officer and headed for the shuttle bay.

---

Kathryn found Chakotay on the floor of the golden tent, propped
against the console. His tricorder was rigged to keep his butterfly
disk continuously active.

"Chakotay!" She rushed to his side, touching a gentle hand to his
neck. The skin felt cool and damp. She unzipped the neck of his
uniform to give his body more air, and pressed a hypospray against his
neck.

His head lolled as the medication entered his system. "Kath...tunnel,"
he murmured weakly as his eyes attempted to focus on her.
"Kath...ryn," he tried again, his voice was almost nonexistent.
Removing her canteen from her utility belt, she touched it to his
lips, allowing him a small sip of water.

He swallowed convulsively and reached again for the container. She
allowed him to move it toward his mouth, but steadied it as he drank
thirstily, choking. He bent double, engulfed in a fit of coughs before
she had his back again against the console. He began to laugh softly.
"Thought you were...mirage," he rasped. "My oasis in the storm... Did
you see...tunnel?"

"No, I didn't," Kathryn replied, throwing one of his arms over her
shoulder. The electrolyte enhancer that she'd injected him with should
stabilize his levels until she could get him to sickbay. She just
hoped he could make it to the shuttle.

"Oh," Chakotay slurred. He was leaning heavily against her, but still
on his feet. "Say yes," he demanded suddenly.

"Yes," Kathryn murmured, chalking his comments up to delirium. She was
far too preoccupied trying to keep them both upright to sort out what
his meaning might have been. Chakotay was no small man.

"Good." Chakotay seemed to smile to himself. They made all the way to
the outer door of the shuttle before he passed out.

---
CHAPTER SEVEN: Rushing Tides


Chakotay's eyes flew open as a gentle hand touched him. His eyes
locked on startled brown ones. "Aukiyana?"

The young woman nodded mutely, running a hand along his arm and over
his forehead. "This place is real, isn't it? And you're not dead."
There was residual confusion in her eyes, and, Chakotay thought, a
touch of fear.

 "Yes, it's real," he said, smiling his best reassuring smile. "And so
 am I. After you disappeared, your father contacted me and asked us to
 find you. You're onboard Voyager."

The girl nodded, relief flowing into her gaze. "Okay. I wasn't sure,
everyone feels so faint." Delicately, she touched the sea green of her
sick bay gown, then allowed her gaze to drift around the room.  "These
are your things. This is your ship. It's all so wonderful. Can I look
around? I want to see everything!"

Chakotay sat up with a grin, allowing his legs to dangle over the side
of the bio-bed as he watched the excited girl. She was far too busy
flitting around the room to notice when the Captain and the Doctor
entered the room.

"Not just yet," Kathryn said, answering the young woman's questions.
"The Doctor needs to take another look at you and then we'll see what
we can do." There was a hint of a smile at her lips.

The girl immediately stopped her excited movements and focused on the
Captain. Recognition shone in her eyes. "I remember you," she said
softly, putting a finger to her temple as she remembered. "You were
here before. I'm sorry I couldn't help you then."

"It's quite all right," Kathryn said, moving further into the room.
"You'd just found yourself in a very unusual situation. It's
understandable. If you'll go with the Doctor, he'll take care of you."

"Thank you." Aukiyana smiled impishly and turned toward Chakotay. She
didn't speak aloud, but something about the way she looked at him, he
caught her meaning. *She's the one, isn't she?*

He was shocked, and responded with a bemused smile and a slight nod.

*I approve.* The girl turned, satisfied and followed the doctor out of
the room.

Kathryn approached in her wake, watching as the girl exited. "What was
that all about?" she asked, turning a curious gaze on her first
officer.

Chakotay shook his head in astonishment. "She's a very perceptive
young lady," he said. "And it seems she's given us her blessing."

Kathryn looked astonished. "You were...communicating with her?" she
asked. "Telepathically?"

"No, not really. Or at least I don't think so." Chakotay thought for a
moment. "I never heard a voice or words, but I knew what she meant. It
was as if I automatically understood her meaning." He watched her for
a moment. "Does it bother you?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Kathryn replied. "But I'd like to know what
type of long term effect this "key" is going to have on you."

"I don't feel any different," Chakotay shrugged as a thought occurred
to him. "How's Tuvok?" His last sight had been of the Vulcan being
thrown against a wall in the shuttle.

"He's fine," Kathryn assured him. "He's examining some of the sand
particles we took from the shuttle. Seems it has some rather
interesting properties. He believes them to be tiny solar collectors
and that their collected energy is being diverted elsewhere, perhaps
beneath the surface of Telora Minor. The sensor readings from the
shuttle have been -- "

Chakotay felt as though a jolt had run through him. "You mean you
haven't downloaded the data from my tricorder?" His voice was sharp.
He relaxed only slightly at Kathryn's startled look. Standard protocol
was that all away data was uploaded to the ship's main computer for
analysis as soon as missions were complete. Under those circumstances,
it could be hours before the data was retrieved.

"No, should we have? Tuvok requested that it be routed to his personal
station. My guess is that it's still in his queue." She paused a
moment and took a closer, almost wary, look at him. "What did you
find?"

"I'd much rather show you."

---

Kathryn sat, still mildly stunned, before the computer image as
Chakotay completed his presentation. He smiled gently as he settled in
his usual seat to her right. She'd seen the data the twice, all ready.
Once when they'd first retrieved it from his tricorder. And then again
just to reassure herself. Now it was being shown for the benefit of
the rest of the senior staff.

"You mean that's it?" B'Elanna asked from the opposite end of the
table. "Click our heels three times, and we could be home again?"

"Not precisely," Tuvok spoke dryly, drawing all eyes in his direction.
"But it is a fitting analogy."

"When are we going to make an attempt?" Harry spoke up. Kathryn
couldn't help but notice the new hope that shown in his eyes. Though
many of the crew had left spouses and family behind, Harry seemed to
have felt his losses more acutely.

"Not so fast, Harry," Chakotay warned. "There are still a few bugs to
work out. We have to gain permission from the Telorans, figure out a
way to operate it from orbit, not to mention determining whether or
not it's actually large enough to move a ship the size of Voyager."

Both B'Elanna and Harry begin to speak simultaneously, bubbling forth
with ideas. Kathryn waved her hand, stemming the animated flow. "Our
first order of business is to contact the Telorans. Since we need to
return our guest to her people, we have our foot in the door.
Meanwhile, I want this data gone over with a fine-tooth comb. Top
priority. B'Elanna, Harry, Seven, you're on it. Take anyone you need."
Shifting forward, she leaned across the table and made contact with
each member of her staff. "This could be it. Dismissed."

"Commander Chakotay, a moment please," she added as the rest of the
group dissipated.

---

Chakotay landed Sacajawea easily on a level plane of green grass
beneath the light of a fading sun. Intermittent energy spikes caused
the scanners to behave erraticly over any distances beyond several
kilometer. They'd had to locate the village largely based on
landmarks. Judging by the small group gathered nearby, they were
expected.

"Ready?" he asked the young Teloran woman, who'd become very solemn as
the shuttle had descended toward her world. She looked up and nodded
minutely. "I'm going to be in a *lot* of trouble."

Kathryn reached across and placed a hand on the young woman's arm. "I
think they'll be happy to have you back," she said, reassuringly.
"Everything else will take care of itself." The girl seemed slightly
less solemn, but still did not smile.

Chakotay frowned slightly, and asked the same question of Kathryn with
his eyes. Was *she* ready? They'd agreed that as the Telorans were
likely to be a patriarchal society, Chakotay would take the lead in
the conversation. If there were any chance that the Telorans would
allow them access to their machines, they did not want to upset any
cultural taboos.

Kathryn nodded once and moved toward the slowly opening rear hatch,
allowing Aukiyana to exit first. A silver-haired gentleman that
Chakotay immediately recognized as Dredek stepped forward as the trio
came to a stop at the bottom of the ramp. He raised a hand solemnly.
"Greetings, Chakotay of Voyager. I am indebted to you for rescuing my
daughter from her folly."

Chakotay returned the greeting and assured the man that there was no
debt. "You, no doubt, would have done the same were our positions
reversed."

"Perhaps." The old man nodded, and after a moment of silent
communication with his daughter, gestured her to leave. Chakotay noted
the way she'd kept her head bowed during the whole of the
conversation. There were no words of good-bye, neither mental nor
physical, as she departed without a backward glance, disappearing
among a grove of shadowy trees. He wondered at the complete change in
her disposition.

Glancing around the gathered group of men, he realized that all were
solemn. Had they upset some planetary taboo by arriving at what was
nighttime in Aukiyana's village? He felt that answers might be
forthcoming when Dredek gestured that he and Kathryn walk with him.
The remainder of the men made gestures similar to the greeting and
headed off in separate directions.

Dredek led them toward the same copse of trees that Aukiyana had
disappeared among. "What of your journeys, Chakotay? I have no
recollection of your people."

Chakotay shared a startled look with Kathryn. All of the shuttle's
scans had indicated that the technological level of the Teloran's was
roughly equivalent to the preindustrial age on Earth. Despite the
unexplained spots of power fluctuation all over the planet, non were
located near the more populated areas. Those items coupled with the
fact that there was no evidence that any ships had passed through
their area of space, it seemed unlikely that the Teloran's could have
knowledge of which races should and should not be in the sector.

"No recollection --" Chakotay began, but Dredek suddenly stopped
walking.

"Do not think that because we appear primitive, that we know little.
We have memories from our before-parents of many aliens species, in
fact, all of them in this area of space. You were not among them.
There is no memory of you at all."

Chakotay knew the moment Kathryn decided to act. There was a slight
shift to her shoulders as she stood  straighter and introduced herself
as the captain of Voyager.

Dredek smiled knowingly. "Thank you for sharing that important piece
of information with me." He walked on, explaining at length the best
time of the year to harvest the fruit of the Hefa trees. As he talked,
Chakotay felt sure that his mind was elsewhere.  Then suddenly, he
stopped again. "You must remain in my abode tonight. In the morning
you may ask that which you wish of us."

---

"That should be a bit better," Chakotay said feeding another piece of
wood onto the fire.

Kathryn nodded her agreement as she glanced around. The room that
Dredek's mate had led them to was small, containing only a bed, a side
table and a few woven rugs. Thick coverings hung at the windows, but
the cool night air seemed to have seeped in nonetheless. The only
illumination was that of the fire. Kathryn noted the way it played
against one side of Chakotay's face as he remained stooped
thoughtfully before the fireplace.

"What do you think?" she asked, pulling him out of his reverie.

Chakotay turned slightly on the toe of one foot, but remained stooped.
"I think they're feeling us out," he said. "Determining whether or not
they can trust us."

"I agree," Kathryn admitted, then smiled. "And here I thought we had
the inside track."

Chakotay smiled in return and moved to sit on the bed alongside her.
"You mean there's one of those in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Aren't you supposed to be my voice of optimism?" Kathryn taunted,
feeling her pulse increase as the intimacy of their surroundings hit
home.

"I can be anything you want me to be, Kathryn." He whispered, running
his hands methodically up her arms.  His eyes had become very serious.

Whatever reply Kathryn would have made stuck in her throat as his lips
slowly lowered to hers, gently molding, igniting fiery waves. She
moaned involuntarily at the delicious sensations his lips were
evoking. Wanting only to continue the contact, she ran her hands up
along his chest, feeling the ragged pounding of his heart and up
around his neck.

Chakotay's hands ran up her arms, and when it seemed he would have
wrapped them tightly around her, he paused. Drawing slowly away, he
dropped a reluctant kiss on her confused lips. Kathryn couldn't fathom
what had happened, and felt more than a little hurt.

"What is it, Chakotay?"

Chakotay closed his eyes briefly, then focused on her. "We're not
alone."

Kathryn's eyes flew wide, and she gave the room a quick once-over.
There was no one there that she could see. She shook her head in
confusion. "I don't ..."

"I can *hear* them," Chakotay explained. "Like I heard Aukiyana in
sickbay. They don't wish to embarrass us, but they're watching. It's
customary when entertaining strangers. I thought you should know."

Kathryn scooted slightly away, her face flushed with embarrassment.
"Thank you for telling me. What do they mean by 'watching'? Are they
reading our thoughts?"

"No," Chakotay assured her. "Dredek says that they only want to know
if your emotions are true. I'm afraid mine are out of the bag," he
offered a wry smile before continuing. "Because of the...confusion on
our arrival concerning your position, he would like to proceed in the
traditional manner with strangers. According to Dredek, no species can
hide evil intent at the brink of sleep. After you've fallen asleep,
they will have all they need and will turn away. We'll be alone
again."

Kathryn sighed. Was nothing ever easy? "I suppose we should get some
sleep then."

--- 

*Chakotay, you must make the formal request. I will accompany you.*

Chakotay's eyes opened slowly. Had he heard  something? He lifted his
head and gazed around the room. Rivulets of sunlight peeped beneath
the edges of the window covering. One particularly ambitious stream
peeped through a small tear, glinting against the golden pips of his
rank bar. Both he and Kathryn's uniforms lay over the straight back of
the rooms only chair, side by side, hers slightly in shadow. He
wondered at the irony of that; she was the Captain and would always be
the brightest light in his eyes.

He came up to his elbows so he could complete his circuit of the room.
His eyes rested last on the woman beside him. Her eyes were open and
focused intently on him.

"What is it?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"I thought ..." Chakotay started to shake his head but suddenly
recalled what had awakened him. "Dredek." He finished. "We have to
make an official request, or rather, I have to. Dredek said that he
would accompany me."

Kathryn rose up to an elbow as well and ran a hand through her tangled
hair. "Any idea when? Or where?"

Chakotay shook his head, his eyes dropping briefly to her regulation
gray tank top. The memory of the way she'd removed her brassiere the
night before flashed through his mind.

She'd worn it to bed beneath the tank top. After several minutes of
uncomfortable shifting, he'd wordlessly reached beneath the back of
her shirt and undone the fastening. He remembered the warm softness of
her skin   and the way that she'd gone utterly still at the brush of
his fingers.

"Instruments of torture from way back," he'd said to relieve the
tension. "You should be able to rest better now."

She'd rolled over and smiled at him in the darkness. "Thank you. You
know, it continues to amaze me that someone hadn't snatched you up
long ago."

"It's called older sisters," he'd laughed. "Besides, I was holding out
for something better." She laughed again and swatted at him before
reaching beneath the top and removing the offending undergarment.
Though he hadn't really seen a thing, by the time she slipped the
garment beneath the long roll that passed as a pillow, his imagination
was working overtime.

"Chakotay." Kathryn reached out and touched his hand, her voice drew
him back to the present.

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly. "I was distracted."

Kathryn smiled warmly, running a hand along his arm and over his bare
chest. "Are we alone?"

"Yes." Chakotay felt sure that his heart was stumbling around his
chest as well as rushing blood to more parts of his body than he cared
to discuss.

"Good," she murmured, moving closer. But they got no further than that
as a soft knock sounded at the door, followed by a soft thud and
retreating footsteps. Chakotay pulled back regretfully, but not before
placing a lingering kiss on her lips.

As Kathryn threw back the covers and moved into sitting position, he
could see the rounded outline of one breast straining against the soft
material. He wondered at the odds of being allowed to help her back
into the aforementioned instrument of torture.

Kathryn and Chakotay found a tray containing fruit and some type of
gray mush outside their door. The tricorder ranked it not only edible,
but high on the protein scale as well. Neither fact swayed either of
their opinions of its appearance. Not wanting to offend their hosts,
however, both dug in.

"How is it?" Kathryn asked after Chakotay had taken an initial bite.

"I think Neelix is going to love it," Chakotay remarked and managed
another bite. "Although I must admit, it is having some sort of effect
on me."

Kathryn frowned and consulted her tricorder once more. "It does appear
to have fair stimulant properties. Useful I suppose. Must be an
acquired taste."

"Not at all unlike coffee," Chakotay teased.

"You got me," Kathryn grinned, moving her mostly-empty bowl aside. "I
suppose we've kept our hosts waiting long enough."

When they exited the bedroom it was to find the abode empty. The sun
streamed in through the many opened window coverings, giving the house
a cheery air. It barely resembled the shadowy enclosure Kathryn
remembered from the night before.

"Perhaps they're outside," Chakotay offered.

Kathryn agreed and turned toward the entry point they'd used the night
before. They found Dredek and Aukiyana on the front stoop. Both
Teloran's turned at their approach.

Aukiyana stood and bowed deeply. "I apologize greatly for the trouble
I brought to your ship and for the risk to your lives."

"There's no need..." Kathryn began, but Dredek cut her off.

"Yes there is a need, Captain Janeway of Voyager. It is our way. She
has apologized to her tribe, and now must apologize to you before she
is truly welcomed back among her people."

Kathryn nodded. "We accept your apology." She spoke formally.

The girl's face spread into a wide smile and her usual sparkle began
to return. "Thank you," she bowed again and turned toward her beaming
father.

"Welcome back, daughter," Dredek drew her into a gentle hug. "Please
do not frighten an old man likewise again."

"I won't," Aukiyana smiled with a respectful and happy bow. The old
man laughed and turned toward Chakotay.

"Shall we begin?"

Chakotay looked momentarily confused. "I...yes."

"Good," Dredek placed an arm around his shoulder and led him off
toward a path. "The others are waiting."

Kathryn stood beside Aukiyana fighting the urge to interrupt, not
wanting to make another mistake with these people. As first contacts
went, this one had been a little shaky. If the Telorans were to allow
them to use the technology they'd found on the Minor world, she was
going to have try not to step on any more toes. But that didn't mean
she could simply allow her first officer to go off alone amid an alien
race that they barely knew.

"Aukiyana," she turned to the girl. "Is it allowed for us to follow?"

The young woman smiled. "Yes. But we are not allowed to enter the
chamber. We can watch from a distance." Gesturing that Kathryn follow,
Aukiyana set off on the same path Chakotay and Dredek had taken.

---

"We have to do what?" Kathryn asked, looking at a particularly dusty
portion of ground as they approached a large ten-sided dome. It bore
an overlapping roof which drooped to within two feet of the ground.
Beneath the roof, low windows appeared at intervals.

"We're to lay here." The girl demonstrated, lowering herself to her
belly beneath the overhanging roof. She was just able to peer into one
of the wide windows. Kathryn sighed, but followed suit. She hated to
think what her black uniform was going to look like combined with pale
Teloran soil. Aukiyana's brownish garments would be much more
forgiving.

As she propped herself up on her elbows beside the girl, she found
that the overhanging roof shaded them from the already warm sun, as
well as preventing glare. And if she weren't mistaken, several other
windows around the dome were occupied.

Completing her inspection of the outer perimeter, she looked down into
the room itself. It was sunken, having half a dozen steps which led to
the floor level. Around a central area, ten groupings of tables were
arranged. All of the groupings were occupied with the exception of
three, which remained darkened. Chakotay and Dredek were seated at one
table and the central area was empty. As she watched, Dredek and
Chakotay rose and approached the center.

"Father is formally introducing Chakotay as adopted into our family.
If he is accepted by the Council, he will become an honorary Elder."
Aukiyana explained what was happening.

Kathryn looked back toward the proceeding in amazement. She didn't
know a lot about Teloran familial connections, but she was touched
just the same. A candle-like object was being lit in each of the seven
sections, and Dredek bowed deeply, then turned to Chakotay. He said
something that Kathryn had no way of making out.

"What's happening now?" she asked.

"They've accepted him," Aukiyana announced gleefully. "Now he must
make the request in his language and in ours."

"Yours?" Kathryn asked. "He doesn't speak your language. We use a
universal translator in order to understand each other."

Aukiyana looked at her curiously for a moment, then her expression
cleared. "Oh, you do not understand. He will speak the language of the
mind. Our father will help him."

Mildly stunned, Kathryn nodded slightly and turned back to the
proceedings. Chakotay was still speaking, making small facial and hand
gestures as he spoke. She smiled proudly as she watched him. He was a
far cry from the angry man who'd beamed onto her bridge nearly six
years earlier. He'd mellowed and shown himself to be an exceptional
first officer. And so very dear. So so very dear.

At length he stopped talking and looked toward Dredek. The old man
nodded his head and Chakotay allowed his eyes to close. Dredek reached
for one of his hands and for that of the man nearest him. All of the
men joined hands.

"Is this...?" Kathryn asked as she watched.

"Yes." Aukiyana confirmed her suspicion.

Kathryn found it a little eerie to see them all sitting so still,
holding hands. At length her eyes wandered again to the empty sections
of the room. "Why are those areas dark?"

"Those are no more," Aukiyana explained. "A long time ago, before the
Change, there were Ten Keepers-of-Knowledge among the Teloran Clans.
But the Great Explosion happened and three were lost. The Keepers-of-
the-Knowledge-of-the-Machine were lost as well as the Keepers-of-the-
Knowledge-of-Where and the Keepers-of-the-Knowledge-of-Why. My father
and I and now Chakotay are of the clan of the Keepers-of-the-
Knowledge-of-Who."

Kathryn was amazed. "All of your knowledge is divided into ten
portions which are each maintained by a different tribe? Are there
books?"

Aukiyana laughed. "My father tells me the story all the time. It would
take many books to contain the Knowledge. The Knowledge becomes are
part of us and we live it. But one must have the key. Males hold the
knowledge, females hold the key - thus both are needed. And in order
to use the knowledge, all must act in unity. That is the way it was
meant to be. Or so my father tells me."

"You don't believe him?" Kathryn asked, surprised. She knew there was
some truth to what the young woman had said as Chakotay's 'key' had
allowed them to gain entry to places that only a Teloran should have
been able to enter. It was scientific, even logical. All sorts of
information was passed on genetically - why not history?

"Its not that I don't believe him," Aukiyana said. "It's just that I
think he oversimplifies things for me. I'm not a child, and I don't
need childish stories to understand things."

A movement in the room below caught Kathryn's attention before she
could respond. Chakotay'd wavered slightly, his knees bucking. But two
men on either side of him moved in closer, helping him to stay on his
feet.

"What's going on?" she demanded of the girl.

Aukiyana tried to reassure her. "It's all right," she said. "Our
language is very difficult for him. It is nearly over."

Kathryn hoped so; she could see the strain plainly etched on her first
officer's flushed face. He'd reddened as he had on the previous
occasion when he'd been in communication with Dredek on Veilia. She
willed her strength to him as he began to sway.

The circle broke up. All hands were released. Dredek and the Teloran
to Chakotay's right caught him when he fell. "Where's the front?"
Kathryn asked as she scrambled from beneath the low roof.

"This way," Aukiyana gestured to the right. "I will show you." The
young woman wasn't going fast enough for Kathryn's taste, so by the
time the door of the meeting place slid open, Aukiyana had fallen
behind. Kathryn slowed her pace a bit when she saw that Chakotay was
back on his feet - although he still looked shaky.

Dredek turned at her approach, and a bright smile flitted over his
face. Kathryn noticed the way he turned toward Chakotay and murmured
something before backing away and re-entering the chamber. She hoped
she hadn't overstepped yet another planetary tradition. The smile in
Chakotay's eyes convinced her otherwise.

"We did it, Kathryn," he said softly, moving closer to him.

Kathryn was busy looking him over, wanting to be sure he was all
right. "Did it?" She looked up and caught his eyes. "You mean...they
told you how to...?"

"Not exactly," Chakotay shook his head. "They don't remember. That
information was...lost..." He swayed slightly forward.

"We're getting you back to Voyager to let the Doctor have a look at
you," Kathryn decided. "Here, lean on me."

Chakotay chuckled tiredly. "Am I sure I want to do that?"

"Wha--?" Kathryn followed the direction of his tired gaze. She looked
as if she'd been rolling around in the dirt; which of course she had.
Laughing, she shot him a threatening look and wrapped an arm about his
waist. She was extra careful to transfer as much dirt and dust as
possible.

---

"How is he, Doctor?" Kathryn asked, looking down at the man lying on
the biobed.

"He's going to be fine," the Doctor sounded mildly surprised. "There
is a substance in his body that prevented his system from being
ravaged as it had been during his earlier...er mental conversation. He
is, of course, exhausted. I suspect he'll simply sleep for several
hours."

Kathryn released a breath in relief. Chakotay had fallen into a deep
sleep moments after they'd arrived on the shuttle. When after docking,
she'd been unable to awaken him, she'd began to worry.

"These episodes with the Teloran's, Do you think they'll have any
residual effects on Commander Chakotay?"

A pleased smile appeared on the Doctor's face. "It's interesting that
you ask that question, Captain, as it is the very item I've been
investigating. After the Commander returned from the away mission to
rescue the young girl, I detected minor changes in his neural
peptides, which then subsided. There have been additional changes with
this communication, and they have not subsided as quickly as they did
previously."

Kathryn looked toward her first officer in worried silence. There was
definitely a lot more to the Telorans than met the eye. "Will it cause
any ill affects?"

"The sections of the brain affected involve telepathic receptivity. It
certainly won't be harmful... It could possibly prove useful...were he
surrounded by telepaths. He should be fine. I'd actually be interested
in examining this phenomenon more closely. I've examined numerous
texts on the subject. With my superior ..."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn said with a gracious smile, already
heading for the door. "Keep me informed." She  made a quick exit,
surprised to find Tuvok on the other side of the door.

"May I have a word with you, Captain?" Kathryn pushed thoughts
concerning Chakotay aside and turned to her friend, offering a smile
that she knew he'd never return.

"Of course, Mr. Tuvok." She said, then noting something in his lack of
expression, she continued. "Ready Room?"

"That would be ideal," Tuvok replied.

---

"May I inquire as to the outcome of our request to the Telorans?"
Tuvok asked, after he'd accepted a cup of Imirian Tea.

Kathryn smiled and shrugged. "The jury is still out until Commander
Chakotay awakens. I wasn't a part of the council's decision, but I
believe that it was favorable."

Tuvok accepted her reply thoughtfully. "You believe then that the
Telorans will help us?"

"I don't know how much they can help, Tuvok." She shook her head as
she tried to find the right words. "They're primitive, by any
standard, but the knowledge and technology that they posses is
staggering. I spoke with Aukiyana today about her people's history.
Their knowledge is passed on genetically. Yet...they don't seem to
have the ability to use it." Kathryn stopped and thought for a minute.

"Although, Aukiyana did say that thirty percent of their knowledge was
lost during an accident. Perhaps that broken link is what left them
stranded where they are. I wonder..."

"Perhaps they do not chose to use it." Tuvok replied, interrupting her
ruminations.

"Perhaps," she allowed. "Is there something specific you wanted to
talk to me about, Tuvok?"

"I asked the Doctor to compare my Vulcan DNA and that of the young
Teloran woman."

"And?" Kathryn sat a little forward in her chair. Considering the fact
that one of the destinations of the synthetic wormholes was in Vulcan
space, it seemed very likely that Tuvok and the Telorans were distant
cousins. But something else seemed to be bothering her Vulcan friend.

"The similarities were too many to be coincidence, Captain. However,
there are a number of mutations that the Doctor could not account for.
All of the mutations involved the neural center and areas of the brain
thought to be linked to motivation and telepathy. The only hypothesis
that we are able to form is that some time in Vulcan's distant past, a
group of citizens were taken, altered and deposited here. The force or
forces that accomplished this are unknown. So, you see, Captain, the
Telorans seem to be something of a genetic mystery as well.

"They've not done anything that leads me to believe them to be hostile
or controlled by some outside force," Kathryn countered. "Quite the
contrary, actually. They have a strong sense of self, not to mention
something of a knack for getting at the truth. Perhaps whomever left
them here are gone forever. Considering that some of their customs are
patently Native American, perhaps Commander Chakotay's 'sky spirits'
had something to do with it."

Tuvok made a non-expression that could only be defined as distaste.
"The ability to determine truth can be a potent weapon." He made no
comment on her other statement. She was hard pressed to stifle a
smile.

"Yes, but, we've nothing to hide, Mr. Tuvok. And as they have the
wormhole and we don't, it appears that we are going to have to trust
them until they give us reason to do otherwise."

"Now, tell me Tuvok, what is the first thing you're going to do when
we get home?" she asked allowing a bit of the smile to peep through.
After all, it had been over six years since he'd been home...

---

"Computer, disengage Auto-return circuits."

"Auto-return circuits disengaged."

Chakotay looked over his team with a wide grin. They were returning to
Telora Minor to find more about the Machine. The information he'd
gathered from the Elders would be very helpful in attempting to
program the worm hole - or at least he hoped so. The Teloran's limited
knowledge allowed them to enter portals that were scattered all over
the Major world and be transferred to the Machine - or minor world,
but the knowledge of how to use it was lost. No one traveled there
anymore. Those who had, had never returned.

"Remember to stick close." Chakotay reminded an eager Ensign Kim. The
young man was standing near the hatch, practically dancing as he
waited for the Commander to exit the shuttle.

"Yeah, Starfleet," Chakotay heard B'Elanna murmur. "I don't want to
have to pick up your pieces over all that sand." He didn't catch
Harry's response as he activated the door latch, although he was sure
it would be difficult to glare while wearing Starfleet issue eye
protection.

"Right this way," he gestured them out into the brilliant sunlight.

"Wow." Harry whispered as he gazed around the area, taking in the
dazzling spectacle. The sands seemed to be shimmering beneath the
glassy yellow field above. Closer had shown that they were each
perfect tetrahedrons, each side equipped with small solar receptors.

"Wow is right," B'Elanna adjusted her tricorder. "The amount of energy
this placing is putting out is absolutely amazing. Not only are those
grains of sand collecting energy, they're protecting us from the
effects of the massive energy source," she tapped several keys, "Two
kilometers beneath our feet. If this sand were ever removed... no one
could ever come here again - they'd be incinerated."

"My kind of place," Kim quipped.

Chakotay glanced between his two team members, and then quickly
scanned the bright horizon. It was as hot and as beautiful as he
remembered. "Let's get started," he said. As The Doctor had suggested
that they spend no more than thirty minutes in the planets hostile
environment, there wasn't much time for sight-seeing.

The control panel was as remembered. Calling up the program took a few
minutes as he had to try to duplicate the series of buttons that he'd
used prior. Reviewing the key strokes he'd made with his tri-corder,
he was able to find the correct combination. The console's keyboard
shimmered and changed. The tunneling key reappeared.

Kim was making sounds of ecstasy in the background at the technology
that was brimming all around them, B'Elanna was monitoring the energy
output from beneath the planet's surface.

"There, that was something," she called shortly after Chakotay had
pressed the tunneling button.

"What happened?" Chakotay asked over his shoulder.

"There was a surge," B'Elanna explained. "It spiked for a moment, then
settled in at a higher level - almost like it's in a stand-by mode or
something."

Chakotay pressed the demo button. Immediately an image of a tunneling
wormhole sprang to life. A small beam was shut toward it and then it
closed. "Notice anything different?" Chakotay asked.

"No, no change," B'Elanna announced, double-checking her readings.
"What sort of options do you have?" She moved in closer and peered
down at the console.

"I think this is the demo mode," Chakotay demonstrated. The tunneling
image again appeared on the monitor. After several seconds the demo
played out and the small screen again returned to a blank with a
series of dots running along it's edge.

"Do that again," B'Elanna suggested. Kim broke off from his inspection
of the other panels, opting to see what had caught B'Elanna's
attention. Chakotay noticed that the young man was beginning to look a
little wilted despite his enthusiasm.

Chakotay tapped the key and the image began to play again. B'Elanna
pointed to an item in the bottom corner of the screen. "What's that?"

"I don't know," Chakotay murmured as he scrutinized the image
carefully. It looked like nothing so much as a number of overlapping
squiggly lines. He carefully searched the keypad in search of a
similar icon. "It doesn't seem to be here," he concluded.

"Wait a minute," Kim spoke thoughtfully. "Do that one more time,
Commander and then just touch the screen near the symbol."

"All right." Chakotay followed Kim's suggestion. Immediately, the
tunneling effect faded to the background, and was replaced by a
flashing green hand. Chakotay hesitated minutely, before raising his
hand and pressing it against the screen. The opposing image flashed
several times before turning red. Chakotay withdrew his hand.

A brilliant light flashed from the top of the console and then quickly
extinguished. If it weren't for the residual spots that danced before
Chakotay's eyes he would have thought he'd imagined it.

"We were all just scanned," B'Elanna announced a moment later.
Chakotay acknowledged her with a nod as he blinked away the spots and
refocused on the screen. A different display had appeared.

This screen contained an image identical to Chakotay's tattoo marking.
Alongside it was an oscillating wave. Riding atop the wave was a
smaller set of waves. Beneath Chakotay's marking was a listing of
other markings, with corresponding wave images. Beside each of the
other markings were star configurations and another set of numerals.

"It's a carrier!" B'Elanna exclaimed. "I'll bet that if we emit a tone
matching this frequency, the wormhole will open for us and take us to
the coordinates you selected!"

Shoving a bit closer to the console, Harry scanned the output with his
tricorder. "And these other markings...this is a record of others who
have gone through. If we could decipher the symbols, I'm sure we could
figure out when and where."

Chakotay stood stunned as the image of his tattoo marking continued to
flash green. Harry and B'Elanna chattered excitedly as they downloaded
the listing into their tricorders. Chakotay's softly spoken question
brought them both to a standstill. "I wonder if it'll open from the
other side."

---

Kathryn leaned forward in her command chair, silently studying the
planet that spun serenely below them. The faint yellow flicker of its
force-field blocked all communications and scanning equipment. Yet, it
absorbed and converted every bit of energy that touched its surface -
be it the light emitted by the Teloran sun or the energy emitted by
the ships scanners. It was all immediately absorbed, as if by a giant
photo-electric sponge. She found it fascinating, almost as fascinating
as what Chakotay had told her about Telora Major.

As it turned out, the information Aukiyana had given her was correct.
While a clan had been charged with the information concerning the
machines, it wasn't the machine on the minor world that they
maintained. During his linking with the rest of the elders, Chakotay
had learned of the consoles that dotted the planets surface. There
were several located on the outskirts of each village. As the
maintainers were lost in a tragedy that sounded very much like an
experiment gone horribly wrong, the knowledge of their use had been
lost. Over the centuries they had become overgrown and many no longer
functioned properly. The elders had declared them off limits.

There had been a look of longing in his eyes when he'd talked about
the ruins on the northern continent. She had tried to offer him hope
that he would have an oppurtunity to survey the area, but they both
knew it wouldn't be possible.

Kathryn was pulled out of thoughts by the sound of the turbo-lift's
doors sliding open. Chakotay and his team strode in, all wearing broad
smiles.

"I take it you have good news?" she said as he stood near her chair. 

He turned his grin on full strength. "Yes Ma'am."

There was a movement near the back of the bridge, and B'Elanna and
Harry couldn't seem to stop smiling. Even Tuvok noticed, turning away
from his study of the field surrounding the two worlds. Tom simply
spun in his chair and crossed his arms, obviously wanting in on the
joke.

Kathryn turned back to Chakotay with a raised brow. She had no idea of
the significance of his standing practically at attention. Before she
could ask, he handed her a PADD.

 She accepted it with slight suspicion and began reading. She didn't
 complete the first paragraph. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Yes Ma'am."

She stared at him for a moment, then glanced quickly around the
bridge. All eyes were focused on her, although several looked
hurriedly back to consoles. She pushed out of her command chair and
walked into her ready room without another word. Chakotay followed on
her heels, grinning all the way. .

"That's it?" she rounded on him as soon as the doors had slid shut.

"That's it," he echoed, obviously enjoying the moment.

"After over five years wandering around this quadrant, I'd almost
expected our exodus to happen with a bang, or some great deal of
fanfare. And warning... I'd expected some warning."

Chakotay smiled with infuriating calm as she began to pace around the
room.

"Chakotay," she continued. "Do you realize that I could walk through
that door and give the order and we'd be home."

"I believe the term was 'click your heels three times'," he murmured.

Kathryn had to smile. "I'd like to address the crew first. As soon as
we activate that wormhole, a whole heck of a lot of alarms are going
to go off all over Vulcan space. We'll probably have company within
ten minutes. That's not a lot of time to make a decision about turning
back."

"Agreed," Chakotay said, sobering slightly.

"This raises a lot of issues."

"Yes."

"The Maquis --"

"Trust you, implicitly. I took the liberty of speaking with them."

That surprised Kathryn. "When?"

"This morning. I managed to fit it in between breakfast and mission
prep."

Kathryn nodded. "Have I told you lately what a wonderful XO you are?"

Chakotay simply smiled.

---

"This is the Captain speaking. As I'm sure all of you have heard,
we've found a way home. Near the planet we are currently orbiting
there is what we believe to be a synthetic wormhole. The alien race on
the planet's surface has given us permission to use it, and in
approximately 90 minutes we are going to do just that. When we come
out on the other side, we are going to be in the heart of Vulcan
space.

"I'd like to be able to tell you what is going to happen when we get
there, but I can't. This is a first, for all of us. I can tell you
this though: Whatever happens, we are still one crew. One damn fine
crew who've worked long and hard to realize this day. I will do
everything in my power to look out for the interests of every one of
you, whether you signed up as Starfleet, Maquis or are along for the
ride. You are all Voyager.

"If anyone would like to voice concerns before we enter that wormhole,
now is the time. Come talk to me. My ready room door is open."

As Kathryn paced the area before her desk, the words she's spoken to
the crew rang through her mind. She'd always prided herself on the
ability to always be firmly in control of herself and her emotions.
But suddenly she was besieged with an attack of the jitters.
Everything was happening so fast.

There were still 30 minutes until the time she'd appointed to initiate
the worm hole and she'd completed many of the tasks she'd outlined to
accomplish as she waited for any who wished to voice their opinions.
Surprisingly, only Seven had, and even that had been positive.

The list of the crew members she wanted to recommend for promotion was
complete and among all of her other reports. She'd lingered over the
list as she thought briefly over each crew member, and of the things
she knew about them. So many little things that she might not
ordinarily have known had theirs been a normal mission. Ensign Cellas
on deck four had a thing for pop corn and white wine. Crewman
Clearwater studied linguistics as a hobby. Commander Tuvok had hidden
talents as a holo programmer. Ensign Wildman was a whiz with a pair of
hair cutting shears. Ensign Harry Kim had had a brief crush on their
resident ex-Borg - on second thought... no one could have missed that
one. In either case, the young man's name had topped the list. He'd
grown so much since that first day, but his enthusiasm hadn't waned a
bit.

She smiled as she thought of his latest gesture. He'd set up a
countdown in the corner of his Ops display, heralding the time of
their arrival into the Alpha Quadrant. According to her resource
monitor, a number of crew members had tapped in to his countdown, and
at last check it was running at the bottom of the forward view screen.

She glanced at her own countdown. Twenty-seven minutes. She ordered
another cup of coffee from the replicator. Soon no more rationing...
Her smile turned bittersweet. Soon they'd all be going their separate
ways. The family would be broken up. She wondered what they would all
do. How many would remain in Starfleet? How many would move on to
other careers?

In the end her mind settled on Chakotay. What would he want to do? She
found it disconcerting to realize that she didn't know. Either way,
she wanted to give him the option of choosing.

Despite the fact that the Maquis had been disbanded and the Federation
had other things to worry about, she wasn't sure how they would react
to the former Maquis members of her crew. Especially Chakotay - he was
the one with the arrest warrant on his head. He had said that the ex-
Maquis trusted her. She did not want that hope to be in vain. She'd
gone through everything Voyager's database had to offer concerning the
Maquis situation. Not surprisingly, there wasn't much. She'd set new
precedent if need be.

Twenty more minutes. She paced some more.

---

~~"I couldn't leave without saying good-bye." Chakotay smiled at the
old man who appeared before him. He noticed that the desert was still,
peaceful. But despite its warmth, the old man was wrapped in a
starburst patterned blanket.

"I believe I made a wise choice in allowing you to join us," the old
man smiled in return. "What will happen to you now?"

Chakotay shrugged. "I don't know for sure. There are questions that
I'll have to answer, hard questions. After that..."

"What of your female one? She is strong. Won't she be with you?"
Dredek asked. "The two of you work well together."

Chakotay almost laughed at the irony. "Uh...that's part of the
problem. Her mission was to apprehend me and bring me back to her
superiors. It's been a long time since then, but those orders, as far
as I know, have never been rescinded."

Dredek grunted slightly as he considered that. "And will she fail in
her mission?"

Chakotay was silent for several moments. "No."

"You choose with your heart, Chakotay, and so will she, I think. Your
conscience is clear. You will remain in a position of honor among your
tribe should you choose to return."

Chakotay smiled. "Thank you. We will activate the wormhole soon.
Please tell Aukiyana good bye for me."

Dredek nodded in assent. "She will know of it. Good-bye my son. We
will meet again." ~~

The desert faded to white and Chakotay opened his eyes. He was seated
on the floor of his quarters surrounded by the items of his medicine
bundle and his butterfly disk. He slowly removed his hand from the
akoonah and began to gather his things. It was time.

---

"Mr. Kim, initiate the carrier frequency."

"Aye," Harry tapped the command that would began the preset sequence
just as the computerized countdown clicked over to zero. Only the
sounds of ship's equipment could be heard as they awaited the outcome
of the command. Kathryn doubted that any one of the 19 individuals
who'd found reason to be on the bridge, or those who were tied in via
intercom even breathed.

At first nothing obvious happened, and then an alarm went off. "We're
getting power spikes off the scale," Harry announced. B'Elanna
seconded. "It's coming from Telora Minor. Looks like we were right
about that power source. The intensity is increas--"

Before the words were out of her mouth a brilliant glow began to
coalesce around the Minor world. The glow intensified and arched
toward a point in space. The point blossomed into the glowing gold maw
of a wormhole.

"Well I'll be damned. There it is," Kathryn was on her feet. "Harry,
can you get any readings from the other side?"

"Negative, Captain. The scanners can't lock on to a focal point."

"Is the probe ready, Mr. Tuvok?"

"Probe ready, Captain."

"Send it in."

"Aye."

There was a brief flicker as the probe disappeared into wormhole, and
then the maw returned to normal.

"Anything, Mr. Kim?"

"Readings are coming in now, Captain." Harry tapped several keys and
his face burst into a wide grin. "Confirmed Captain! It's the Alpha
Quadrant!"

"Good, good," Kathryn fought the urge to laugh. "Are you getting any
readings on whether the probes navigational systems are on-line?"

"They're on-line," B'Elanna said. "It should be coming through...now."

Immediately the small silver and blue object appeared in the Delta
Quadrant. It's surface was completely unmarred. "Status?" Kathryn
called.

"No damage. The probes systems are functioning at full capacity."

Kathryn spun toward the helm, her voice softening. "Then what are we
waiting for? Take us in Mr. Paris." She gazed toward the view screen
as the swirling gold rings drew closer, a lump beginning in the back
of her throat. Suddenly the gold swirls stretched as if the ship had
suddenly gone to warp. The stretched light changed from gold to red to
blue to white almost in an instant and then suddenly a starfield
appeared before them. Kathryn had to fight the urge to put her hands
up as if to keep from falling at a sudden loss of velocity. That
wasn't like any wormhole she'd ever experienced before.

"Mr. Kim?" she turned to the young man at Ops.

"Confirmed Captain. We're home." Kathryn caught Harry's gaze across
the bridge as his eyes filled. She offered a slow smile, sharing in
his joy. Then suddenly she found herself grabbed up in a pair of
strong arms. A cheer could be heard over the intercom as crew members
all over the ship celebrated their arrival.

---
CHAPTER EIGHT: Under Familiar Stars


"Captain, there's a response coming in from Starfleet Command." Harry
was again at Ops, the initial excitement having calmed. "It's
encrypted and marked for your eyes only."

Kathryn turned toward Chakotay, concern etched across her face. "Route
it to my ready room. Commander, you have the bridge."

Kathryn moved quickly through the doors, ordering the computer to
activate the message center as soon as she entered. The screen
flickered to the logo of Starfleet Command as she uttered her
authorization codes.

"Authorization accepted." The computer's monotone informed her before
displaying the image of a gray-haired man bearing the rank of Admiral.
He wasn't anyone that Kathryn was familiar with. He began speaking
immediately.

"Captain Janeway, Admiral Rand here. First of all I want to
congratulate you and your crew on arriving back in the Alpha Quadrant.
I am sure that it was no easy task."

"Thank you, Sir. It has been an interesting journey." Kathryn said.
"But it's good to finally be home."

"I'm sure," the Admiral smiled agreeably. "No doubt after such an
extended mission your crew is anxious to see their families, but we're
going to ask that you maintain radio silence for the time being. The
Merced and the Naughton are currently enroute to your position. When
they arrive you will be joined by Admiral Stirum Nohau. He will escort
you to headquarters."

"Is this really necessary, Admiral? Voyager is good condition and can
easily make the trip on her own. We could be there in 12 hours."

"We understand that Captain, but as you may not be aware, there was a
great deal of media fervor when it was discovered that Voyager was not
lost after all. Headquarters had to appoint a department to deal with
the frenzy. You would have a much...quieter journey home if we can
keep the possibilities of a leak to a minimum."

Kathryn eyed the man carefully as she considered his words. Something
didn't quite add up. Before she could act on the feeling, the Admiral
continued speaking.

"I'm going to be frank with you, Captain Janeway. You've just come
through a wormhole that we've never known existed leading to the Delta
Quadrant. The power readings from the nearest science station were
unlike anything we've seen; and it's in Federation space. I'm sure
that we're not the only ones who noticed it. Information regarding
that wormhole, and no doubt all that you've compiled in the past six
years is a valuable commodity. We'd simply like to protect it."

Kathryn nodded. Now that made more sense. "I appreciate your honesty,
Admiral," she said, settling back into her chair. "When will my crew
be able to contact their families?"

"Soon. We owe you that much. Admiral Nohau will brief you on all other
details when he joins you. Once again, congratulations Captain and
welcome home."

Kathryn stared thoughtfully as Headquarters' logo for long moments
before tapping her combadge and calling a meeting of the senior staff.

---

"Radio silence? Why?" That from Harry.

Kathryn turned toward him and offered the same explanation that Rand
had offered her. "Those are our orders," she finished. "We'll know
more when the Merced and Naughton arrive. Admiral Nohau will be coming
aboard and will brief us at that time."

"Nohau?!" Tom asked. "No way Nohau?"

Kathryn shot him a look. "I think yes. Did you know him?"

Tom blew out a breath. "Yeah, you could say that. There was a saying
at the penal colony, With Nohau as judge and jury, no way no how were
you gonna get off. He was on my sentencing committee. Unless he's
changed in the past five years, his specialty is persecution." Tom
glanced toward B'Elanna with a small laugh. "Maybe he's coming to
reclaim me."

Kathryn frowned. "Perhaps it's just a coincidence, Tom. They wanted to
get someone here fast. I don't think--"

"Bridge to Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"Captain, two Federation vessels are approaching."

"On my way." Kathryn moved quickly to her feet. "All right everyone,
this is it." On her way through the door, she offered Tom a reassuring
wink. No way, no how was she letting anyone intimidate her crew.

---

"Admiral Nohau. Welcome to Voyager." Kathryn smiled graciously at the
tall blond-haired man who appeared on the transporter pad. "This is my
security chief. Commander Tuvok."

The man stooped to pick up a black carrying case and then moved to
shake her hand. "It's good to finally meet you, Captain Janeway. I've
read so very much about you. And you as well, Commander Tuvok." The
man spoke politely, but he did not smile. Kathryn was hard pressed to
determine who was stiffer, the Admiral or Tuvok.

She gestured the group out of the transporter room and into the
corridor, undeterred by the man's brusqueness. "Admiral Nohau, I have
a number of questions I'd like to ask you. Admiral Rand informed me
that you'd be briefing us."

"Yes, that is one of the reasons why I am here." Nohau said before
quickly steering the conversation in a slightly different direction.
"I'd like a meeting with your Senior staff in three hours Captain, if
that's possible. I'd also like a secure partition set aside for me
within the main computer as well as an updated listing of the status
of all crew members who have served or are serving aboard Voyager."

Kathryn nodded toward Tuvok, who excused himself to take care of the
matter. "May I ask, Admiral, what are your other reasons for being
here?"

"To observe." Kathryn didn't like that answer at all, but pasted on a
smile just the same. After attempts to simply talk to the man, she
gave up. Happy that they had reached his rooms.

She punched a key, and stepped back. "These will be your quarters,
Admiral. I'm sure your partition will be ready very soon. And if there
is anything else you require..."

"Thank you, Captain." Nohau said over his shoulder as he stepped into
the room. Then, almost as an after thought, "We will talk later. Good
bye." With that he allowed the doors to his quarters to slide shut.

---

"Where are you rushing off to?"

Chakotay made a face and stepped back into the holodeck to allow
B'Elanna to enter. "Admiral Nohau has an extensive list of items he'd
like available for the staff meeting. Most of it seems incredibly
meaningless, but you didn't hear that from me." Gesturing back over
his shoulder toward the sounds of revelry, he continued. "Between his
'requests' and Chell's party, I've been just a bit busy."

B'Elanna chuckled as her eyes trailed over a particularly rowdy game
of Selumdren quarters. "They're just happy, Chakotay. We've finally
made it home. This is what we've been working for for the past five
years."

"Happy?" Chakotay feigned shock. "Happiness is synthehol. Last thing
we need is for the Admiral to show up down here and find a batch of
home brew."

"Several batches of home brew, from the looks of it," she laughed,
angling her head to try to make out what Chell had just passed to
Clearwater. "It almost feels like we're cadets walking around on
eggshells while the Admiral is here."  B'Elanna's smile faded and her
tone changed. "Watch your back with him, Chakotay."

Chakotay felt a sudden chill. "Watch my back? Is something wrong?" 

B'Elanna looked uncomfortable as she studied his expression. Then
coming to a decision, she dragged him into a corner. "Listen. I don't
know if this means anything, but while I was doing a check on the
engines I overheard Carey talking to McNeill He said that our guest
had been asking a lot of questions. Most of them were about you."

The chill intensified. "What kind of questions?" he pressed, though he
knew he wasn't going to like the answer.

"Loyalty questions. Favoritism. Why Carey wasn't made chief engineer.
Whether or not you followed the Captain's orders willingly, or
whether..." B'Elanna broke off in embarrassment. "Some of his
insinuations weren't pretty."

Chakotay felt an old anger building, but he quickly quelled it.
"B'Elanna, I need to ask a favor, and I'm sorry to do this because I
know that you probably want to go to the party --"

"Just ask, Chakotay," she cut him off. "I'll do it as long as you
promise not to do anything stupid."

"Me?" Chakotay asked. "You know me..." He quickly handed her a PADD.
"Nohau's list."

B'Elanna took the list, noting which items had been checked off.
"Yeah, I know you, old man. I know how you are now compared to then. I
just want to make sure that the right one of you wins out."

"First Officer Chakotay - the schizophrenic?"

"It does have a certain ring to it," B'Elanna teased. "But seriously,
you're still you. Just...just more at peace."

Chakotay simply smiled.

---

"Come in," Kathryn called, her gaze remaining fixed on a framed
photograph she'd pulled from her desk. She smiled up at her visitor
and pointed back toward the picture. "Five years... Do you know how
long that is in dog years?"

Chakotay rounded her desk and peered at the photograph. "Time. Amazing
how sometimes it seems you have all the time in the world, and then
suddenly you look behind you and see just how much has passed away
forever."

Kathryn turned and glanced up at her first officer. "That sounds
almost  pessimistic. Are you sure you're my Chakotay and not some guy
who's been taken over by aliens?"

Chakotay's smile seemed a bit hesitant. "I'll always be your
Chakotay."

"Chakotay?" Kathryn moved to stand before the man she'd come to love.
"Is something wrong?"

Wordlessly he drew her close and kissed her tenderly. She willingly
surrendered to the caress, feeling sure he'd let her know why he was
acting so strangely.

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway," he said after pulling away.

"And I love you, Chakotay," she said, her expression telling of her
confusion. "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong, or am I going
to have to resort to stronger measures to get you to talk?"

Chakotay didn't smile. "Kathryn, I'm not sure we should see one
another anymore."

"What?" Kathryn was stunned. "Why? Our relationship has barely begun."

Chakotay took a deep breath. "Yes. But, I think it will hinder your
ability to speak for the former Maquis crew members. If there is no
attachment between the two of us, then Starfleet will be more likely
to listen to your arguments."

Kathryn stared speechless for several moments. Perhaps she'd missed
something. "Let me get this straight: You want to end our relationship
because you feel that I'll be biased?"

"No," Chakotay shook his head. "I just think that Starfleet may think
you are."

"But I am, and I should be. I've served with you all for the past five
years. I know what your capabilities are. Of course I'm biased. That
there is something more between you and I shouldn't make any
difference."

"It *is* different Kathryn." Chakotay turned and paced to the other
side of the room. "Don't you see? It's me you were sent to arrest.
*My* face on the arrest warrant. *My* orders my Maquis crew was
following. You're supposed to be my jailer. It would look strange that
you're now my defender."

Kathryn followed his agitated motions curiously. He'd turned his back
and walked away. So unlike Chakotay. He always argued face to face.
"What happened?" she asked softly. When he didn't speak for several
moments, she crossed and stood in front of him.

"I think I can guess," she said. "That past couple of months have been
something of a learning experience for me. The Veilien Monarch was
blindly resistant to change, even if it were detrimental to his
people. My eyes are open. The Telorans seek honesty. I *want* to be
honest. I don't want to hide the truth about our relationship. It will
only look as if we have something to hide, and that's the last thing
that we need. Everything will be up front and on the table."

Chakotay's lips quirked into the beginnings of a smile. "I guess
that's settled then. You never were one to run away from a fight. But
I still think we should be careful -- just until everything is
settled."

Kathryn heaved a sigh. "Paranoia. The Delta Quadrant taught us that
one, too. I agree that we should be discreet, but not that we should
go out of our way to do anything differently. Nothing to hide,
remember."

Chakotay closed the gap between them. "Right. This may not be easy,
Kathryn, and we may not win. I could still end up sentenced to a penal
colony. If that happens..."

Kathryn shushed him. "That's not going to happen. Think positive. I'll
accept nothing less than --"

"But if it does," Chakotay pressed. "I wouldn't expect you to put your
life on hold. You're going to have a lot of options once this is all
over with and I don't want to hold you back."

Kathryn placed a finger over his lips. "Repeat after me. Op-tim-is-
tic."

"Kathryn..." He began again.

"No, Chakotay. You were protecting the lives of your people. I really
don't think that they're gong to throw the book at you. The Federation
is reasonable."

Chakotay sighed. He looked as if he wanted to argue more, but
acquiesced.

"Good. Now, I know there is contraband somewhere on this ship. And I
think you can lead me at least nearby so we can share a toast with our
crew. Synthehol of course."

"Of course," Chakotay said, leading the way. 

---

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Chakotay gazed out of the shuttle's tiny
window, entranced by the sight of the Earth from 100,000 Kilometers.
Though he'd loved his homeworld, the brilliant blue jewel that was the
Earth would always hold a place of honor in his heart. The ten days
they'd been in the Alpha Quadrant hadn't diminished his simply joy in
just looking at it.

Kathryn leaned over the armrest between the two of them and gazed out.
"Lovely. Home sweet home." Her voice was soft, whispering.  She leaned
back into her seat after a moment and glanced around at the rest of
the shuttle's passengers, her gaze lingering over them. "I can't
believe it's almost over."

Chakotay followed her gaze. Tuvok and Kim sat in a pair of seats
across the isle, while Tom and B'Elanna sat directly behind them.
Neelix was seated across from Tom and B'Elanna.

"Do you think Starfleet is going to accept our recommendations?" he
asked, returning his gaze forward. After the staff meeting with Nohau,
he and Kathryn had been busy with the incredible amount of paperwork
and formality involved in bringing a crew home after five years. In
between all of the paperwork, they'd dug through ever ounce of
information they could glean that even remotely resembled the
situation of the Maquis crew members.

Many nights were spent pouring through archives, and sending
communiques to legal professionals throughout the Federation. The case
they'd presented was strong. Chakotay only hoped that they'd not
overlooked some small item that might work against them.

Now, paperwork completed, Starfleet crew largely disassembled,
evidence presented, headquarters skeleton crew in place, the senior
staff would be shuttled to Earth to meet with the review committee to
hear their final decision. The previous portions had taken place on
Voyager with Nohau and several staff members acting as liaison. It had
taken the review committee less than 2 hours to come to their
conclusion. Chakotay wasn't sure whether that was good or bad. Clearly
Kathryn didn't either.

"I hope so," she answered him with a small smile. There was a slight
frown between her brow as she voiced his own concerns. "And I hope we
haven't missed something. This crew, every one of them, deserves every
opportunity available to them."

"You won't get an argument from me." Chakotay said, adding. "We've
talked to everyone who's anyone in the field. And the crew reports
back us up. Besides, after the way you've defended them, I don't see
how the Federation could *not* realize it, as well."

Kathryn smiled and entwined her fingers with his. "I didn't do it
alone, Chakotay. Your name is on that recommendation, too. Not to
mention a lot of late night research missions."

Chakotay laughed and tightened his grip slightly, engulfing her hand
in his, gently stroking his thumb along its back. "I'm sure that if
the Doctor scanned us, he'd find that we're both running on caffeine
and adrenaline. You know, we're due for a nice long vacation when this
is all over." He carefully emphasized the word long.

"Oh really?" Kathryn's brow perked up. "My mother was just..."

Her comment was interrupted by a soft ping, followed by the flickering
of the shuttle's lighting. The windows had darkened slightly for
atmospheric entry, but now revealed a stunning image of what had once
been the southwestern United States. The shuttle quickly entered
headquarters air space, and put down on the roof of the headquarters
building. Nohau immediately appeared at the entrance of the passenger
compartment, briefcase in hand.

Chakotay sighed as he released Kathryn's hand. "Why is it that every
time he's around I feel like a school boy trying not to get caught?"
he murmured softly.

"Perhaps it's those naughty school boy thoughts you're thinking,"
Kathryn whispered over her shoulder as she stood. Chakotay had to
struggle to maintain an unaffected facade as the Admiral's gaze
settled on him. He nodded a polite greeting as they passed, quickly
putting the man out of his mind as he caught up to Kathryn.

---

The meeting room was much smaller than Kathryn had expected. After the
officiousness of Nohau's arrival and subsequent meetings with the
review committee, she'd expected something much more formal for the
final decision. Instead, the room was almost cozy. A large window
overlooked a massive oval table, the bright mid-morning sunshine
casting light across its polished surface. Comfortable-looking high-
backed chairs were placed at intervals around the table, each before
an embedded control panel. Of course the colors were completely
Starfleet, standard grays and beiges. The overall effect was warm and
soothing. Kathryn wondered at the psychology of that.

Tom had just made some comment about this being an awfully plush
location for a firing squad when another door at the opposite end of
the room opened, and what looked like a fair percentage of Starfleet's
top brass filed in. Everyone came quickly to attention.

A gentlemen that Kathryn quickly identified as Admiral Rand from her
first communication with Starfleet after re-entering the Alpha
Quadrant, spoke up. "At ease, at ease. If everyone would find a seat,
we will begin."

Kathryn appreciated the fact that they were getting right down to
business. While the room was comfortable enough, and the general
feeling that she was getting from the men who'd entered the room
didn't seem to be condemnatory, the suspense was beginning to grate.

Admiral Rand stationed himself at the head of the table and called the
meeting to order. "I, Admiral Stephen Rand and this committee, along
with Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager and her command staff
are gathered here for the formal debriefing of mission number
72235-0947. This meeting is for final decision of the committee in
regards to the remaining Voyager crew.

"First of all Captain, I'd like to offer my personal appreciation for
the thoroughness of your reports. You've certainly made our jobs a lot
easier. We've reviewed all of your recommendations and in accordance
with Starfleet and Federation statutes feel that we can grant your
request with regard to your official crew. Added to your requests is
the standard package of retraining or separation.

"In the matter of the members of your crew that joined to USS Voyager
in the Delta Quadrant, we have reviewed you research and
recommendations there as well. A full pardon is being upheld. For
those qualified, admittance into Starfleet is an open option. The
information is available on your console, Captain. If you are in
agreement with these proceedings, and your senior staff wishes to make
no further comments on the matter, please mark your reply for the
record."

Kathryn blinked as the Admiral awaited her response. Was that it? No
tug of war over protocol, no arguments that her decision wasn't the
proper one; just acceptance of her recommendations.  She shared a
quick, happy look with Chakotay, before nodding in the Admiral's
direction. They'd done it! With only a slightly trembling hand, she
pressed the button that would mark her reply for the record.

Rand noted her response with a nod. "Very well." He glanced quickly
along the table at his companions, an unreadable look crossing his
face before he again spoke.

"We've also reviewed your personal recommendations for your senior
staff. These have all been considered." The Admiral nodded toward his
assistant who rose and started around the table. "Ensign Eugene is
presenting each of you with your final packages. Additional legal
counsel will be made available if requested."

Kathryn smiled as Eugene placed datapadds before Tom, B'Elanna, Tuvok,
even Neelix. Though he wasn't a  part of Starfleet, there was
opportunities that he might take advantage of. The young man rounded
the table and then found his seat. It took Kathryn a full moment to
realize that Chakotay hadn't been given a datapadd.

She turned toward the Admiral, preparing to protest.

Rand raised a hand. "Your questions will be answered, Captain. The
review of the two most senior officers will begin after a brief
recess. The remainder of your senior staff is dismissed. The committee
thanks you all for your fine efforts."

There were looks of confusion around the table as Janeway nodded for
them all to depart. After a hesitant moment, they all left, leaving
only Kathryn and Chakotay before the committee. Without the buffer of
the rest of her staff, the table looked somehow longer. The Admiral's
were cloistered at one end of table and she and Chakotay at the other.
Squared off as if in battle. The initial coziness of the room was no
longer in evidence.

Kathryn didn't like the way Rand nodded toward Admiral Nohau and then
settled into his seat. She could feel the apprehensive breath Chakotay
drew in as the Nohau rose to his feet; she practically breathed it
with him. As the man rose, the doors opened at the end of the room and
two armed guards entered.

Nohau began to speak. "Chakotay. By the authority vested in me and in
the name of the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet, I place
you under arrest on the charge of murder and treason."

Kathryn gasped, stunned. The entire proceeding began to have a feeling
of unreality as the two guards moved quickly toward Chakotay and
hauled him up out of the chair. She moved quickly to her feet, "What's
going on here? The Maquis were pardoned!"

"There is no pardon for murder," Nohau answered, nodding that the
guards take him away. His eyes were cold, it was obvious that as far
as he was concerned the matter was closed.

Kathryn turned toward Rand in desperation. "Where are you taking him?
I demand to see what evidence you have."

"I apologize that things had to happen this way, Captain. But, I'm
going to have to request that you take your seat or the committee will
be forced to find you in contempt. Chakotay will be allowed due
process and you will be informed of the hearing schedule." Rand spoke
firmly, reasonably.

Kathryn sank obediently into her seat, her eyes following Chakotay as
he was pulled through the door. She continued to stare for long
moments after he'd gone. How had this happened? How could Chakotay be
guilty of murder?

"Captain Janeway." Admiral Rand's voice sounded again in the chamber.
She turned resolutely in her seat and faced him. His sympathetic gaze
wasn't completely lost on her. "I know that the timing of these
matters is not optimum. But we must now review your actions while in
the Delta Quadrant. There are several instances..."

Kathryn swallowed, forcibly pulling herself together as the panel
began asking questions. The first of many came from Admiral Stirum
Nohau.

---

Kathryn heaved a sigh as she settled into her seat for the return trip
to Voyager. The passenger area was otherwise empty, which was a good
thing under the circumstances. She was angry, almost beyond reason.
Starfleet had grilled her on decision after decision, most of which
concerned Chakotay in some way or another. They'd even questioned the
number of shuttles he'd lost and the lack of reprimands for the
incidents. She'd answered every question they'd asked, careful to hold
on to her temper. But when Nohau had had the nerve to ask whether
she'd become intimate with Chakotay, she'd seen red.

Rand had interrupted at that point, saying that Starfleet did not
regulate the personal lives of its officers. Nohau had seemed prepared
to argue, but Rand continued to speak, asking if any of the others had
anything further. He then ordered the hearing closed, and informed
Kathryn that she was free to go. She was to report back the next day
at 1500 hours for the decision of the committee.

There was a melodic tone as the shuttle lifted into the late afternoon
sky. The fog was beginning to roll in off the bay, and the view was
gorgeous. But Kathryn couldn't see any of it. It was a force of will
to simply unclench her fists and activate the communications device
that was built into the seat.

---

Chakotay cracked an eye open as the lights in his cell brightened. It
took a moment to focus while his eyes adjusted to the illumination.
"Kathryn?" His vision cleared after a moment to reveal a red-headed
woman dressed smartly in a gray tunic outfit.

"Sorry to disappoint you," she smiled. "I'm Geneva Smitham, a friend
of Kathryn Janeway." She gestured to the guard, who lowered the force-
field to allow her entry. Placing a dark case on the floor near the
entrance, she stepped toward him and offered her hand. "Obviously
you're Chakotay."

Chakotay rose to his feet and took it. "Yes," he said, glancing around
the small quarters. The only area available for sitting was the bunk
he'd risen from. He gestured toward it. "Would you like to sit? I'd
offer a beverage, but at the moment I'm a bit cut off from anything
beyond water."

Geneva's smile widened. "It's good to see your spirits are good.
That'll make Katie feel better."

Chakotay's smile faded slightly. He'd wondered why she hadn't come.
"Are they still busy with her debriefing?"

Geneva shook her head. "Normally the only person you'd be seeing right
now is your Federation appointed counsel. But, Kathryn and I go back a
ways. She asked me to take your case. Speaking of which, I have
something for you. I've already cleared it with the guards."

Chakotay watched as the woman retrieved the dark case near the
entrance. As she fumbled through its contents, he asked his next
question. "How does it look?"

Geneva paused in her search to chew at the side of her lip. "I've
dealt with Nohau before. He's a hard one. On a charge this serious,
I'd say 10 years in a rehabilitation facility. And that only because I
could probably get the five years you spent on Voyager to count as
good behavior."

Chakotay's eyes widened. Ten years? "Where do you think it'll be?" he
asked, sounding a bit shocked.

Geneva looked at him oddly as she found what she was looking for.
"Aren't we getting just a bit ahead of ourselves here? Don't you want
to even know who you're supposed to have killed? Katie doesn't believe
you did it. Do you want to tell me otherwise?" She extended a wrapped
object.

His medicine bundle. "Thank you," Chakotay smiled, taking the familiar
item. Kathryn must have gotten it for him. Laying the leather pouch
carefully atop his pillow, he continued. "We fought a lot of
Cardassians, I'm sure there were casualties."

"They aren't after you for the Cardassians. The serious charge is for
the crew of the Gallant."

"The Gallant?" Chakotay frowned. "Never heard of it. And I'm sure I
should have if I'm supposed to have murdered them."

Geneva nodded, conceding his point. "The USS Gallant was a small
medical vessel. Her hull would have been clearly marked with the
symbol of Starfleet medical. Her mission was to offer humanitarian aid
to a number of Hotopi settlements. They'd had a severe outbreak of
Rumeri fever that year. The ship was supposed to make a circuit,
stopping at each of the settlements, which as you know, border the
badlands, and then return to restock before going to the Tokis sector.
They never made it back to DS9. It vanished sometime during its tour
of the Hotopi. Then, three months later, this arrives at Starfleet."
She held up a data disk.

"No name, no explanation. Just some very interesting video. The
assumption is that a member of your Maquis crew turned it in."

Chakotay eyed the recording, an uneasy sensation centered in the pit
of his stomach.

---

Kathryn stared out of her ready room window. Actually, it was soon to
be someone else's ready room window. Starfleet had decided to upgrade
Voyager and keep her in commission, Borg enhancements intact.
Technicians and Engineers were all over the ship studying and
cataloging all of the data the vessel had brought back from parts
distant. Starfleet was especially interested in the wormhole and the
Teloran's technology.

Kathryn sighed as she allowed those thoughts to cycle through her
mind. Soon non of this would be any of her concern. No more reports to
be read or filed, no mission briefings. Voyager would soon have a new
Captain. It wasn't like that Starfleet would send her out on another
mission after having been gone for five years. No, her fate would no
doubt would be desk-job purgatory.

She would be offered the standard package of retraining, or perhaps
some cushy position in some significant, yet out of the way
department. Mostly likely on Earth, or in the Sol system. None of it
sounded especially inviting.

But she'd gotten them home. Just like she'd promised. What she would
do next didn't matter. Freeing Chakotay was the important thing, and
the suspense was killing her.

Her chime sounded, interrupting her thoughts. "Come in."

She glanced up and was surprised to see Seven of Nine dressed in
normal 23rd century civilian attire. Were it not for the Borg
accessories, she might easily have passed for an ordinary human female
in her mid-twenties. "How was New Sweden?" she asked.

Kathryn had helped her find remaining members of her family on Earth
once the communications ban had been lifted. The young woman had
seemed almost excited to learn of those relatives, while at once
frightened at the idea of meeting them. Starfleet had cleared her to
depart Voyager five days into the debriefing, along with the Starfleet
crew members.

The older woman, Leona Hansen, currently living in New Sweden, had
been overjoyed to know that she had a granddaughter. Although the two
women were light years apart in demeanor, the bond that was growing
between them reassured Kathryn that whether Seven took Starfleet's
offer or joined with her Earth family, she wouldn't be alone.

"Cold," was the brisk reply. "I learned of what happened to Commander
Chakotay and have returned to offer my assistance."

Kathryn was surprised to say the least. Seven was the last person
she'd expected to rush back for purely emotional reasons. "Thank you,
Seven. But how did you find out?" The news hadn't been released to the
press yet.

Kathryn received her third shock of the day. "I contacted B'Elanna.
She informed me of the situation."

"Really?" she asked. What could Seven and B'Elanna possibly have to
discuss? Little more than a week prior they'd been at one another's
throats.

"Really." Seven replied. "I have been considering applying to
Starfleet. I thought that B'Elanna could offer some insight. We have
some attitudes in common, and Tuvok suggested that she could offer
assistance in my decision."

Right. Tuvok. He'd been awfully busy getting people together of late.
"There isn't much we can do yet. I've asked a friend take his case.
She's with him now. Until the evidence against him is released to
counsel, we won't know anything."

"Then I will wait."

---

"So, Care to tell me about it?"

Chakotay snapped out of his reverie at Geneva's words. He was shocked
over the scene that had just played out on the video recording. So
many wounded... So many dead.

"I..It was a long time ago," he said softly, staring at his hands. So
long ago. He'd thought that he'd never have to revisit those dark
days. They were long passed.

"Yes, 5 years and 7 months according to the time index on the video,"
Geneva prompted softly, tilting her head slightly closer. "Were you
there, Chakotay?"

"Yes," Chakotay glanced up to say. His gaze drifted slightly left. A
small device was tucked behind her left ear where a tiny green light
flashed almost imperceptibly. He sat up straighter and cleared his
throat.

She fingering the device. "You should know that this is standard
operating procedure for any attorney on this type of case. I want to
help you, but you're going to have open up and tell me everything. We
don't have the luxury of time because in two days, a hearing is going
to convene to determine whether or not you are locked up for the next
ten years. The gloves are off, Chakotay. The Federation is going to
come at you with both barrels. As things stand they have a pretty good
case. Unless you plan on pleading guilty, you're going to have to give
me something to fight with."

Chakotay bit the inside of his lip. "What if it's all true. What if I
am responsible for the lives of those people?"

Geneva paused, obviously not expecting that response. "What do you
mean? Are you trying to tell me you're guilty?"

"It's possible."

"Possible? Is that a yes or a no?"

"That's a maybe." Chakotay responded. 

Geneva threw her arms up in exasperation. "Guilty or not guilty? It
can't be both ways. Why are you making this so difficult?"

"I'm not trying to make it difficult," Chakotay sighed. "I was there,
just like the tape shows. My ship is shown destroying that other
vessel, I can't deny that. I don't have anything to offer."

"There has to be something. Just tell me what happened."

"I was there, isn't that enough? I don't know what else happened. I'm
sorry to have wasted your time."

Geneva looked around the room and shook her head. "Katie sure had you
all wrong, didn't she? She contacts me and asks me to take on this
*hopeless* case, and I do it. Why? Because she believes in you. She
*convinced* me that there was some mistake. That there was no way you
could have done this thing. That the two of you would fight it. She's
up on the ship now trying to find a way to get you out of here. And
what do you do? You just speak in ambiguities. Maybe you're guilty;
maybe you're not. At this point, no one can help you but you."

Chakotay sat silently. Maybe it was better this way. Kathryn could
continue her career without the burden of being entangled with an
outlaw and a branded murderer. He'd always fought for justice, except
once. And it had come back to haunt him. He deserved what came to him.

Geneva sighed loudly, picked up her case and headed for the force-
field. "They're not going to let her see you, you know. If you go in
there and plead guilty, they're going to go directly to sentencing.
She's never going to know what happened, never going to know your
side."

He remained silent.

Geneva crossed the room and stood in front of him. "Chakotay, right
now everyone is uncertain as to what to believe. But Kathryn has given
you the benefit of the doubt. She has faith in you. I know that the
two of you have been through a lot, and that can forge a special kind
of friendship. But if you leave things this way, cause her to loose
faith, then she will be forced to call into question everything that
may have happened in the past. Everything you worked hard to built
over the past few years will be gone, and she'll be left with nothing.
Is that what you want?"

Chakotay looked up. "What did she tell you?"

"She didn't have to tell me anything."

Chakotay ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, I'll do it. I'll tell you
what happened. But then you have to do something for me."

Geneva nodded and replaced her case. "Of course. This is still on the
record," she warned.

Chakotay nodded his agreement. Then, taking a deep breath, he began
speaking. "It was during a time when we were suffering terrible
losses. We learned of some information that was very personal to me in
particular."

"What type of information?"

"Information that led us to the Cardassian Gul who was in charge of
the campaign against my homeworld. Everyone I knew there died in that
attack. They were ruthless. I remember the bodies...so many bodies."
As he said the words, he was swept back to that time, to those dark
days when all he knew was war and anger and a desire for vengeance.

---

Night on Hellica 7 was a relative term. The dual suns didn't set
completely for half the year, and didn't rise completely for the other
half, resulting in a perpetual twilight. Cold or warm was dependent on
which the suns weren't doing. It was just his luck that that they
weren't setting - it was hotter than a Vulcan bathhouse. He rubbed a
hand across his brow and double-checked the position of the guards
outside the storage facility. Just as he'd suspected, they were still
seated at a temp table outside the building, playing a game of
tetrack.

A body slipped up behind him and touched his hand. Seska. "Did you
find anything we could use?" he asked her, not bothering to turn
around.

"Yes," she smiled gleefully in the darkness. "These." She held up a
pair of Cardassian concussion bolts. "We could tie them into our
forward defense systems for special occasions," she said.

"Good." He nodded grimly. Seska was especially good at acquiring
things. She had a knack.  He'd leave it up to she and B'Elanna to put
that plan into action. They'd already refitted their weapons array
with a number of 'spare' Cardassian parts. Nothing was wasted. "Any
prisoners?"

"No," she said solemnly, seemingly put off by his lack of enthusiasm.
"Our information was correct. Looks like they're trying to set up a
listening post here. All of the inhabitants have been moved out.
Nothing but Cardassians."

"All right." Chakotay moved around the edge of the building. "Get back
to the ship. B'Elanna's diversion should begin any minute now."

Seska opened her mouth to argue. Chakotay had come to expect that. But
instead of voicing her opinion, she simply closed her mouth and moved
quietly away.

He refocused his attention on the two guards, and wiped at his brow
again. Several minutes passed before there was a brief flash of
transporter energy and a large snake appeared beneath the table at
which the guards were playing. The snake was the type that rattled as
it moved. Both men were immediately on their feet and scurrying for
their weapons. Chakotay seized the opportunity to make his move. While
the guides were busy shooting at the snake, Chakotay stunned first one
and then the other.

Slipping quickly into the generator room, he found complete darkness.
Only the flash of red and green lights alerted him as to the location
of the generator console. Removing a small light pack from his waist
belt, he crept along the perimeter of the room. He was careful to
avoid the booby-trapped center of the floor, having learned the hard
way about Cardassian traps.

He'd just reached the console and was preparing to initiate the
sequence to deactivate the field when he heard a slight shuffling
behind him. Spinning quickly, he got off a shot and spun back to
finish the job, not waiting to hear the body fall. There was a slow
winding sound as the field generators shut off.

He took a step back and aimed his weapon at the console, preparing to
destroy it. No point in leaving it intact for someone to simply come
in and reactivate. Half a second after the burst of energy left his
phaser, something caught him along his right arm. His weapon and flood
light both went flying. The room was again plunged in complete
darkness save for the occasional spark of the ruined control panel.

He fell against a side wall at the force of the blow and a body jumped
on him, bashing his head into something hard and unforgiving. He
crumpled to the floor, mildly dazed, but coherent enough to roll to
avoid his attacker's next attempt. As he rolled he bent toward his
boot and grasped his spare phaser. Aiming at sound alone, he heard a
cry as the energy blast met its mark. The image of a Cardassian face
was briefly visible in the phaser's blue light before he collapsed
half on top of Chakotay.

Chakotay cursed as he pushed the body off himself. Tapping three times
at a point on his tool belt disguised as a decoration, he signaled
B'Elanna to beam him up. As he rolled off of the small transporter
PADD, things were beginning to blur in earnest, but he had a job to
do.

Pausing a moment to clear his head, he got his feet under him and
continued on toward his ship's small bridge. "What's the situation?"
he bellowed, immediately regretting it as the sound echoed through his
brain.

"Whatever we're going to do, we'd better do it fast," B'Elanna was
saying, barely giving him a glance. "They're hailing us."

"They're trying to stall. Answer it."

The image of a Cardassian male appeared on the screen. "I am Zennat,
leader of this science team and I demand to know what is the meaning
of this?!" The Cardassian's eyes flashed with righteous indignation.
"We are on a peaceful mission. Your attack is unprovoked!"

The fact that that man was dressed in sleeping robes barely registered
as burning anger lit Chakotay's insides. Zennat. The Cardassian's name
was familiar. "Just as your attack on my homeworld was unprovoked!"

Zennat eyed him more closely, his eyes lingering over the tattoo. A
tiny smile began at the corners of his lips. "I'm sure you are
mistaken," he said, much more calmly. "We have an agreement with your
Federation. You would not want to trespass the laws of your own
government?"

Chakotay sneered at the man and was about to say more, but B'Elanna
made a small motion from his right.

His eyes strayed to the small screen set between the two of them. The
indicator showed that power was again building on the surface of the
planet. Either they'd found a way to get their generator back on line,
or they were preparing to fire a ground based weapons system.

Chakotay's eyes met the Cardassian's again. "I know who you are. And
I've waited for this day a very long time." Moving a hand toward the
weapons panel, he tapped the command that would send the missiles to
the designated spots on the planet's surface.

"This is for my family," he said and cut the communication.
Immediately there was a large explosion on the surface of the planet.
The light was so brilliant it lit up the forward view screen.  Within
moments preliminary readings began to come in. The listening post had
received heavy damages, but one of the targeted sites had been left
undamaged.

A bolt of phaser energy shot from the surface, impacting the vessel
along its outer edge. The vessel rocked as one of the consoles
exploded, raining sparks in the tiny space.

Chakotay spun in his seat. "What the hell happened!?" he demanded,
shutting off the audible alarm that told him targeting scanners were
out.

Seska turned toward him. "One of the charges didn't go off. I think
it's the one at the docking port. We need to get down there and take
out those ships!"

He swore under his breath and grasping the controls headed for
atmosphere. The ships outer lights illuminated the ground as a number
of Cardassian troops headed for the craft that were docked off to one
side of the camp.

B'Elanna did not have to be told what he wanted. She was already
attempting to manually target the craft.

She grunted under her breath as three of her shots went wide at the
ship's unsteady wobbling. "Do you need Jonas to take over?" she asked.

"Not now!" Chakotay gritted his teeth, and forced himself to focus.
The controls were beginning to blur slightly around the edges, but
while they were flying so low to the ground was no time to try to turn
the controls over. And he wouldn't be any better at weapons. Jonas was
right where he needed to be. Chakotay would simply have to hold it
together.

"That's better," B'Elanna murmured in satisfaction as three ships went
up in flame in quick succession. "Three to go."

Another of the ground to air phaser canon's hit their mark, glancing a
port engine. The ship bucked and went into a spin, on a collision
course for one of the ships that were lifting off of the ground.

Growling, Chakotay fought against the damaged engine and momentum,
arcing away from the enemy craft with no more than ten meters to
spare. As they pulled away from it, B'Elanna nailed it with the aft
weapons array. It crashed into the ground, damaging another of the
ships that was preparing to maneuver into the air. The remaining
vessel went up a in a ball of fire soon after.

Chakotay's last conscious action was to point the vessel in the
direction of space. He vaguely registered  B'Elanna urging Jonas to
take the controls. There was a sense of forward motion and then
nothing.

---

"When I woke up," Chakotay turned toward Geneva as he came back to the
present. "B'Elanna was patching me up and we were light years from
Hellica 7. I didn't know about any Starfleet ships or Hotopi in the
area. And whatever fighting that went on after wasn't much of a cause
for discussion because we were immediately caught up in the middle of
another battle."

Geneva straightened thoughtfully, then considered him. "Do you think
the crew that remained on the bridge were likely to attack a Starfleet
vessel without your having knowledge of it?"

Chakotay sighed. "Considering it was Jonas and Seska, probably. That
ground laser was probably still firing at us...  I can only guess they
took that out and anything else that fired at them. They are the two
people that I'm completely unqualified to vouch for."

Geneva nodded. "Any idea who might have made a recording of the event
and then forwarded it to the Federation?"

Chakotay shook his head. "The two on the bridge perhaps. But they are
both dead. Either way, I was there when they said I was there. People
died. I led the attack. I should have checked myself for any other
vessels, but I didn't. I trusted my crew. I'm responsible. I
appreciate your efforts to defend me... but--"

"No." Geneva cut him off. "If the members of your former crew
corroborate your story, that might help your case..."

"I don't want them involved," Chakotay insisted. "They've been
pardoned. I don't want to put them in jeopardy."

"Chakotay..." Geneva was insistent.

"No. You promised to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Just...give Kathryn a message for me."

---

"Come in," Kathryn called as her door chime rang yet again. At least
she'd made it to her quarters. The doors opened to reveal Tuvok.

"Make yourself at home," she gestured toward her sofa where Tom,
B'Elanna, Seven and Neelix currently sat. Harry'd contacted her
several times as had a number of the crew and friends among the
Starfleet hierarchy, offering any help they could. Kathryn had set her
message center to record only. She didn't want to have to face one
more sympathetic face. The current occupants of the room were a little
more difficult since they seemed to have become permanently attached
to her sofa.

Tuvok accepted his seat with only a slightly raised brow. Kathryn was
about to try to dissuade Neelix from serving refreshments, when her
door chime rang. "Oh, who is it now?" she murmured under her breath.
Then more loudly. "Come in!"

The door swished open to reveal Geneva Smitham. "Now Katie, is that
any way to greet an old friend?"

"Katie?" Tom Paris queried with intense curiosity. Kathryn steadfastly
ignored him as she moved to hug the woman.

"I thought I asked you not to call me that," she murmured near the
woman's ear.

"Oh, but it's so much more fun," Geneva replied with a grin. Then
turning toward the other occupants of the room. "Since *Captain
Janeway* hasn't bothered to introduce me, I'm Geneva Smitham. I'll be
the attorney handling Chakotay's case."

The questions began immediately. Kathryn held up her hands for
silence. "Thank you all for being here. But, if you don't mind, I'd
like to speak with Ms. Smitham alone."

When they'd all departed, she spun on the woman. "What did you find
out? What is the Federation's evidence? They wouldn't let me see
anything until it had been given to counsel. Do they have a case?"

Geneva settled on the sofa and opened her attache. Her expression was
grim. "Katie, they have a very strong case. An anonymous member of his
Maquis crew forwarded a video to Starfleet outlining his the crimes
they're alleging.  Something that work's in his favor is that Tuvok's
profile doesn't jibe with what the video suggests. The word of a
Vulcan goes a long way. But on the other hand, since Chakotay admitted
that he'd been out for vengeance...There's a question of intent."

Kathryn nodded sadly. After having searched through so many cases in
her quest to free the Maquis, she'd become very familiar with terms
such as intent. During all the time she'd known Chakotay, and in spite
of all the stories he'd told, he had never said much about his time in
the Maquis.   Yet, the Chakotay she knew was not a cold-blooded
killer. She couldn't believe that he would be one in any situation.

The woman studied her for a moment. "I have a copy of the tape, but I
want to warn you. It's not pretty."

"I've seen a lot of things, Ve. I've seen ships ravaged after the Borg
have devastated them. I've seen natural disasters that left entire
worlds in shambles."

"Yes," Geneva agreed. "But you haven't seen beings murdered like these
were, and you haven't had the accused be someone close to you."

Kathryn couldn't argue that one. "I want to see what's on that tape."

Geneva nodded and inserted the device. "One of these is his version of
events, and the other is a copy of the recording received by the
Federation."

Kathryn watched with increasing horror as the tape played. The
reception was horrible, and continued to fade in and out as if it the
recording device were low on power. It show clips of Chakotay talking
to a Cardassian male. There was something about Federation rules and
then the image flickered to static again. There was the chilling sound
of Chakotay's soft voice speaking. "This is for my family." And then
the next images appeared. These showed a vessel firing then more
static, and then they were inside the planet's atmosphere. In one
shot, dual suns could be seen just above the horizon as the small
vessel went into an attack posture, then there were more static and
more images finally that of a Starfleet craft being shot down then
static and bodies scattered along the ground. Kathryn gasped in shock
as phaser fire was directed at the survivors.

Kathryn was still stunned as Geneva quietly inserted the next
recording. The camera focused in on Chakotay's bowed head as he began
to tell his story. When he looked up into the video pick-up, she saw
that a darkness had entered his eyes. One that she hadn't seen for a
very long time. She listened all the way through until the image faded
to black. Then she simply stared at the blank screen, unable for a
moment to wrap her mind around the enormity of the situation. She
turned away only when Geneva touched her arm. "You never did go for
the easy ones, did you?"

Kathryn shook her head. "Not my style."

Geneva nodded. "I think he's remorseful. In fact, if you want my
opinion, it's tearing him apart. It's going to be difficult, but I
think I can get his sentence lowered, maybe a year. Only, there's one
small problem."

"What's that?"

"He feels that he deserves the punishment, that he's solely
responsible for the lives of anyone who died at the hands of his crew.
He's going to plead guilty. He...uh asked me to deliver a message to
you."

Kathryn froze. She was afraid to ask. "What's the message?"

"He told me to give you this, and to tell you...to get on with your
life."

Kathryn stared as the woman placed the shiny circular disk in her
palm. She felt something warm and wet hit her hand, followed by
another. She vaguely heard Geneva calling her name...

---

Kathryn opened her eyes to find the Doctor standing over her.

"Ah, you've awakened. I'll wager your body is thanking me for
providing it with 9 consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep."

Kathryn moved slowly into a sitting position. She was in her quarters,
in her bed and unfortunately it was all coming back to her. She,
Kathryn Janeway, the woman who would fight a league of Borg, and had,
to get her crew home, had fainted. She moaned as she threw her legs
over the side. "Was there something wrong with me?" she asked.

"Only severe emotional trauma, lack of proper rest for the past five
years, extreme stress. It all came back, as they say 'to haunt you'."
The Doctor frowned, as he continued to examine her. "I am sorry to
hear about Commander Chakotay. If there is anything I can do..."

"No," Kathryn said. "Thank you..." Pushing herself completely to her
feet, she headed toward her living area. She was surprised to find
Geneva dressed in a different suit, seated at her table drinking
coffee. The Doctor quietly slipped out of the room with a comment
about lack of appreciation for house calls.

"Good morning, " the woman smiled gently. "How you feeling?"

"Does the term 'train wreck' mean anything to you?"

"No. But it sure sounds like some place I've been before."

Kathryn managed a small smile. "So, did I miss anything?"

Geneva smiled wryly. "You always wanted the bad new first. So -
Chakotay's predicament...it leaked. Don't go down to the planet, it's
a mad house."

Kathryn sighed and collected a cup of coffee from the replicator. "Why
am I not surprised?"

Geneva shrugged and continued. "The good news: This crew of yours is
marvelous! Tom, Seven, B'Elanna and Tuvok are holed up in something
called the astrometrics lab...said it's the only place onboard they
can have privacy and all work at the same time. They're suspicious of
Seska being on the bridge. They're going through that recording with a
fine tooth comb...Everyone still onboard have come forward and offered
statements for Chakotay. Looks like he garnered a lot of respect
around here. According to my office, statements keep coming in from
members of Starfleet who knew him."

Kathryn's brows went up. She was touched by the outpouring of support
from those who hadn't seen him for so many years. She felt certain
that if she checked her message center there would be more from
members of the crew who'd gone home to be with their families.
Speaking of which.... "I need to contact..."  She was already halfway
out of her seat.

"Done. I told your mom that you were resting and would contact her as
soon as you could."

"Wow. Thanks." She settled back against the cushion. Then thinking of
something else she could do, she made ready to move.

"How long have you been in love with him?" Geneva asked with a gentle
smile, halting her motion.

Kathryn glanced cautiously toward her, then realizing that this was
her old friend replied simply. "Forever." Laughing quietly at herself,
she continued. "I don't know. I don't even know how it happened. It
just... sneaked up on me."

Geneva grinned at her. "That's the best kind. For what it's worth, I
know he loves you, too. It's written all over him. You're so lucky,
Katie."

Kathryn moaned. "I don't feel lucky." She felt more like a part of her
was being torn away. Gazing out the window at the starfield, she
continued. "We've been through so much together. I know that he's
trying to protect me and the crew from any backlash caused by
this...incident. I just wish..." Kathryn broke off, sighing.

Geneva placed one of her hands over Kathryn's. "We'll find something
to make him change his mind. Meanwhile, I've got a couple dozen legal
geniuses on the job. With you me and the miracle crew...we stand a
better than average chance."

Kathryn chuckled in spite of herself at Geneva's antics. "Only you
wouldn't realize that our odds stink."

"Katie, Katie, Katie. You never used to let a little thing like the
odds get in your way. We've not yet begun to fight! Rally up, old
girl. It's crunch time!"

"Who are you calling old?" Kathryn did laugh this time.

"Gotcha!" Geneva smiled triumphantly.

---

"Lieutenant Carey! Lieutenant Carey! You were a member of the Voyager
crew, weren't you?" Joseph Carey looked around in surprise at the
crowd that had gathered outside of a restaurant in Lincoln Nebraska.

"Yes, yes I am." He said. "It's good to be home."

"I'm sure it is," the young news woman smiled, careful to look into
the camera at regular intervals. "Do you mind if we get your opinion
on the arrest of Voyager's former Maquis first officer?"

"Huh?" Joe looked genuinely confused. "I thought everyone was
pardoned. Are you sure?"

The news woman chuckled briefly. "Yesterday afternoon the Maquis
Chakotay was taken into custody by Federation officials for murder and
treason. He stands accused of slaughtering the crew of a Starfleet
medical vessel on the outskirts of the DMZ."

"No. That can't be right." Joe frowned.

"It is true Mr. Carey. Do you think he did it?"

"No. Absolutely not. I can't believe that. Commander Chakotay? No,
that's just not like him."

"How can you be sure he didn't change after he came aboard Voyager?"
the perky newswoman asked.

"Well, he did change," Joe looked at her oddly as he continued. "But,
he was never the type to kill indiscriminately. The guy... he has a
respect for life. After five years of being with a group of people,
you come to know them, like family. No. I don't believe he did this."
Joe turned and looked out over the crowd, before putting up a hand.
"No more questions, please. No more questions."  With that he turned
and walked back into the restaurant.

The news camera followed him in before panning back to the news woman.
"There you have it. The opinion of one of the Starfleet members of
Voyager's crew, newly promoted Lieutenant Commander Joseph Carey at
the Carey family restaurant in Lincoln Nebraska. We'll return later
with more breaking news on this legendary journey home. Be sure to
tune in tomorrow morning as we offer full coverage of the hearing of
Maquis Chakotay."

The image faded to the grainy still image that had appeared on
Chakotay's arrest warrant. He'd been dressed in his Maquis uniform and
wore a fierce expression. He looked every bit the hostile the
Federation thought he'd become.

Kathryn shut off the feed. She'd had just about enough of the press
coverage.

She glanced up at the rest of the gathered group. Theirs were brief
glances in her direction, but no one commented. They probably knew
better; in her current mood she was likely to bite someone's head off.
Even Geneva went silently back to her legal correspondence.

Having found no information of value after hours of tedious research,
Kathryn's nerves were on edge. She needed an enemy she could face
down, not dry legal documents. But she couldn't stop, now. Chakotay
was depending on-- She pressed the button to advance more firmly than
was necessary. No, he wasn't depending on her. He'd given up. But she
wouldn't, couldn't. Her steadily degrading thought process was
interrupted by a gasp from Tom Paris.

"Would you look at that?" he drawled.

Kathryn, immediately alert, abandoned her search and approached his
console. "Have you found something?"

"I think so," Tom nodded. He glanced toward Harry who had returned
despite Kathryn's assurances. "Well, it was actually Harry's idea," he
added.
 
Harry smirked. "Actually, you're the one who--"

"Gentleman," Kathryn interrupted. "I really don't care whose idea it
was. You both have equal credit. Now, tell me what I'm looking at."

Tom smiled and began to explain what he'd done.  "We were trying to
find a way to prove that this tape was faked *we*," he gestured to
Harry. "Noticed that there's ice in some spots on the ground. Well,
that led us to do a check of the planet itself. Hellica 7 has an odd
star configuration. It's year is approximately 107 days long. For 53
of those days it's well, hot and for the other 54 days Hellica
practically freezes over." Tom allowed a moment for everyone to enjoy
his play on words... at Kathryn's stern look he cleared his throat and
continued.

"Well, sections of the tape as well as Chakotay's statement suggests
that he was there during the hot time of the year. When it's hot, the
large sun is in prominence - as you see here." The image on the screen
was that of one of the Cardassian ships as it was rising into the air.
A burst of energy had just fired from the Maquis ship's forward
weapons array. Tom froze the image and tapped a control. A cross-hair
centered over each of the suns, moving outward as they triangulated
and calculated various aspects of the stars based on known
information. A readout ran down the side of the console showing
definitively that the larger sun was closer.

"But," Tom went on, tapping another button which advanced the tape
forward to a segment that showed a long shot at the Gallant. The suns
were just visible in the corner of the image. "Here, during the attack
on the Gallant, the smaller sun is in prominence." The cross-hairs
appeared again, along with the readout. The smaller sun shone less
brightly. Tom gestured to patches along a slight rise in the
background. "Ice," he said. "Of course, if you just glance at is it
looks like a reflection of phaser fire, but look here..." He touched
another command and the image advanced further and then began to move
in slow motion. A crucial hit was made against the Gallant and the
entire aft section of the craft exploded causing the rest of the
vessel to crash to the ground.

Tom placed a highlighted indicator over the left edge of the screen
where the 'ice-patch' was still visible. As they watched a small
section of the ship blew off and landed in the ice. There was a quick
flash. Tom enhanced the small section and expanded it to full screen
and then played it back in extreme slow motion. A piece of red hot
metal landed in the ice, causing it to quickly liquefy, then vaporize.

Tom stood back beside Kim with a cocky grin. Kathryn had the urge to
hug him - which probably would have served him right, or at least
wiped the self-satisfied smirk off his face. But, she was so proud of
them, she decided she's let him have his smirks.

She patted them both on the backs. "Good job Tom and Harry. That's
just the type of proof we need. Have you found out how they did it
without leaving traces of the forgery?"

"No," They shook their heads. "Whoever did this was absolutely
flawless in piecing it together. Even the static seems authentic."

"Wait a minute," Geneva spoke up. "Let's make sure the attorney
follows, here. What you're saying is that when the video of the
Gallant's destruction was taken, this planet was experiencing winter
temperatures. And when the video of Chakotay's ship firing on the
Cardassians was taken it was summer? So...the tape is a fake." Geneva
seemed amazed. "But there  is one question. Why would anyone want to
set Chakotay up?"

"Well, you'd have to know the two who were on the bridge." B'Elanna
snorted. "Seska was a genetically altered Cardassian who pretended to
be Bajoran. She gave us all sorts of trouble in the Delta Quadrant and
Jonas was secretly working for her."

"Oh," Geneva's brows went up. "So, Seska was a Cardassian plant...
Maybe the Cardassians wanted to give the Federation a bigger reason to
go after the Maquis."

"True," Kathryn nodded. "There were rumors of several more Maquis-
related exercises in the works when I left to get Chakotay. And from
the looks of things, it was starting to work."

"We're still going to have to prove that Chakotay wasn't any where
near that planet during the winter." Geneva said.

"Would not a study of the ruins have shown when the ship went down?"
Tuvok asked. "Surely there was an investigation of the site."

"Errr, well, at that time there was some speculation as to whether or
not the crew of the Gallant had defected to the Maquis - several of
the ship's crew turned out to have family in the DMZ. So, there wasn't
much of an investigation. By the time they got the video and began an
investigation, it was difficult to tell what had happened. The
planetary conditions weren't conducive to preserving evidence and it
didn't help that so many Maquis ships used Cardassian weaponry."

"Can you get us a copy of that report, anyway?" Kathryn asked. "There
might be something..."

"Also, Federation records on Maquis movements might prove useful,"
Seven spoke up. "Perhaps there is something we can extrapolate from
their database that might place Commander Chakotay's vessel elsewhere
during the planet's winter cycle."

"Good idea." Kathryn nodded toward the young woman.

"That shouldn't  be too much a problem," Geneva said with a triumphant
smile. "I need to contact my office. Give me a minute." She separated
from the group to use a far console for the communication.

Kathryn released a hopeful breath. This defense was starting to shape
up. If they were lucky, she could deliver her information to the
committee that very afternoon.

---

Chakotay stared at his medicine bundle. It really had been thoughtful
of Kathryn to send it. He'd always found peace when he meditated.
Today, however, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He allowed his eyes to drift closed as he thought of the last time
he'd meditated. What had Dredek said? 'Your conscience is clear'.
Those words had comforted him before, now they burned. He was guilty.

There was a sound at the open end of the cell as one of the guards
delivered his dinner. He didn't move as the tray was deposited near
the entry. The guard wordlessly backed out of the room and went back
to his console.

The smells began to waft in Chakotay's direction. Curry. Normally just
the thought would have made his mouth water. But now, he felt
nauseous. He thought of asking that the guard take it away, but
decided against it. Instead, he rolled his back toward the tray and
thought again of the people who had died on Hellica 7.

---

"I could get used to this," Geneva said as she and Kathryn
materialized onboard Voyager.

Kathryn merely glanced in her direction and smiled. Her thoughts were
consumed with the contents of the PADD she held. She'd have to make a
decision and soon.

"I know these are commonplace to you," Geneva continued happily. "But
for those of us mere mortals who don't travel the stars on Federation
vessels, these are not an every day occurrence."

Kathryn gave the woman a distracted look. "Shouldn't you be doing
something?" she questioned.

"No," Geneva smiled patiently. "Seems that you've taken care of that.
Those Admiral's don't have a leg to stand on. I'd wager that decision
room is going to be full of a lot of very red-faced people."

Kathryn nodded. She was right about that. Nohau had gone red as soon
as she'd told them she had new evidence. That thought did bring a
smile to her lips. She looked up to find that Geneva was watching her.

"Why don't you show me around this ship of yours?" the woman said.
Kathryn had a sinking feeling that she had something else entirely in
mind. She didn't find out just what until they reached Cartography.

"Can we take a rest here?" Geneva asked, gesturing toward two chairs
positioned before a representation of some distant star system.
Starfleet had long since downloaded the logged information, and the
room was empty.

"Why not," Kathryn said. Their conversation had been easy and open, as
if the two of them had not been apart for so long. But that was one of
the things Kathryn had liked about Ve. She had the ability to pick up
as if nothing had changed. After many years and many missions, they
had always contacted each other and kept up with their movements. One
of the messages she'd received during the time the array was active
was from Geneva.

"This is a beautiful ship, it must be hard for you to give her up."
Geneva said.

"It is," Kathryn agreed. "And it's been our home for so long. It's
almost bittersweet being back. We were like a family."

Geneva smiled, knowingly. "I could tell. I've met Captain's and their
crews before. There is a genuine feeling about yours Katie. I wonder
where the Federation psychoanalyzers are going to go with that one?"

"I shudder to think," Kathryn said. "Probably some new illness.
Feelslikefamilyitis?"

"Oh, that was awful." Geneva laughed, delighted. "Have you and
Chakotay decided what you're going to do?"

Kathryn's smile faded slightly. "No. We haven't had much time to talk
about it, actually. Dealing with all the paperwork, and meetings and
Admiral Nohau kept us both pretty busy. Looking back on it, I think
they wanted to make sure they had all the information and that the
Maquis were all off ship before they arrested Chakotay."

"Oh, I'm sure," Geneva said. "That's pretty much the way Nohau
operates. But don't change the subject. All of that is pretty much
behind you now. It's time to look ahead. What do you *want* to do?"

Kathryn had to admit that Geneva was right. Almost involuntarily her
mind went to New Earth, and an image of the boat Chakotay had planned
to build. Still, her answer to Geneva was a shrug and a noncomittal "I
don't know."

"Sure you do," Geneva insisted. "I could see it in your eyes. What
were you thinking about?"

Kathryn considered not telling her, but she found that she wanted to.
In the years since New Earth, she'd had no one to discuss the
situation with. Of course Chakotay was there, but though neither of
them had actually come out and said it, the subject was off limits. It
would be good to tell someone.

"About three years ago, Chakotay and I were stranded on a planet. We
were there, alone together, for 4 months. After I got passed my
initial stubbornness, those were the happiest days of my life. If I
could, I'd like to go back there. If only for a visit."

Geneva's eyes twinkled. "Why can't you? The wormhole is there -- it
works."

Kathryn shook her head sadly. "Even with the wormhole, it would take
ten years. I'm afraid there's no going back."

"Oh," Geneva said. "That is a long way. But four months -- a guy like
him. Must have been very romantic." Geneva's expression gave a very
clear image of what she was thinking.

Kathryn shot her a look. "My, we are certainly full of questions
aren't we?"

"Just curious," Geneva said. "I've never even seen the two of you
together. But there's a change in the air just with the mention of the
other's name. I'll bet when the two of you are in the same room the
sparks fairly fly."

Kathryn laughed at the woman's outrageous expression. But Geneva
wasn't done.

"Four months is a long time... Is that when the two of you got
involved?"

"No," Kathryn shook her head. "We came back to the ship and went right
back to work as if nothing ever happened."

"But that is when you fell in love?" Geneva asked.

Kathryn shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? He admitted it then."

"Did you..." Geneva's voice trailed off suggestively and Kathryn felt
herself flushing.

"No," she said, hiding her face behind her hands. Blushing all the
more at being embarrassed over the question. She was a grown woman for
heaven's sake.

"Katie!" Geneva exclaimed. "The two of you have never, have you?! How
did you manage to keep your hands off him?"

Kathryn wanted to sink through the floor. "Ve! We've barely had time
to breath let alone..."

"Katie, Katie, Katie." Geneva shook her head. "We are going to have to
have a serious chat about priorities."

---

"The shocking conclusion to the dramatic story of Maquis Chakotay came
to a close today during Starfleet's hearing. 'Hearing' is perhaps a
misnomer as no evidence was presented before the jury. The decision
was made solely based on evidence entered in a closed-door session of
the return committee. Our information suggests that Maquis Chakotay
was the victim of a Cardassian plot to manipulate the Federation. The
Federation has refused to comment, saying only that the information is
classified and a matter of galactic security." The news woman's image
was replaced by that of the headquarters building.

"This is a recording of what took place after the decision of the
committee was announced."

As a stunned looking Chakotay walked out the Federation building, a
number of Voyager's crew members dressed both in uniform and civilian
clothing converged on him. One crew member in particular stood out as
the crowd parted to let her pass. Kathryn Janeway, dressed in civilian
business attire walked through the crowds and was swept into
Chakotay's arms. The two embraced for long minutes as the news woman's
commentary continued.

"It appears that this story has a romantic ending. Tune in at 6 for
our discussion with noted Betazoid Love Doctor Heimerwess who insists
that she could sense their love from 60,000 light years...."

Kathryn shut off the video feed, and turned back to her perusal of the
backside of Federation secure docking. She still hadn't gotten around
to packing. She couldn't relax. Ever since they'd arrived back from
the courthouse, she felt as if she were coming out of her skin. The
initial elation as the committee's decision had faded to be replaced
by something else.

She'd ordered Chakotay to sickbay so the Doctor to take a look at him.
He'd seemed out of sorts after the decision was announced, but then
he'd expected to plead 'not guilty' and then to be sentenced. The
suddenness of his release had no doubt come as a shock.

She reached for the round disk sitting atop the sill of her window.
Retrieving hers from her pocket, she compared the two. Both the same,
equal in size, both darkened. Obviously the silver effect only worked
when they were both in possession of their disks. As she watched, both
began to noticeably brighten.

"Come in," she called at the sound of her chime. Closing her hands
around the disks, she turned to greet her visitor.

Chakotay entered the room as if he'd been running. He faltered as he
noticed her standing by the window. "Is something wrong?" he asked and
remained near the door.

Kathryn walked slowly around the sofa and held one closed fist out to
him. Chakotay looked confused, but reached for it. She dropped his
disk in the palm of his hand and retreated to stand near the sofa.
"Why couldn't you just trust me, Chakotay?"

"What?" Chakotay asked, mild confusion evident on his face.

"Why didn't you *trust* me?" Kathryn repeated. "Why did you just give
up?"

Chakotay stared at her for a stunned moment before stuttering out a
reply. "I...It wasn't that I didn't trust you." He gazed about as if
searching for the right words. "I didn't trust *me*. When I saw that
tape, I realized that it was entirely possible that it was true. Of
course, I didn't intentionally set out to destroy a Federation vessel
and I wouldn't have given the command for a wanton slaughter like we
saw in that recording. But still, I was in command."

"I understood your reasoning, Chakotay, for wanting to plead guilty.
But why did you give up on us?" She gestured toward the disk she'd
given him.

Chakotay glanced toward it for a second. "I'm marked with a dark past,
Kathryn. How could I make your burden lighter if I was dragging you
down?"

"Are you saying that you don't want...?"  

"No! No, Kathryn. Don't think that. I fully expected to be convicted.
I didn't want you to feel like you had to wait for me."

Kathryn sighed and settled tiredly on the sofa. "I suppose I knew on
some level that you were trying to protect me. But, don't you see that
wasn't your decision to make?"

"Kathryn, all I can say is I'm sorry." Chakotay moved toward her.

Kathryn held up a hand to ward him off. "I know, Chakotay. Tomorrow's
a big day," she said. "We both still have to pack."

"Kath--"

"I need some time, Chakotay. Okay? We'll talk over breakfast."

Chakotay nodded. Then, almost hesitantly he turned and walked out of
the door.

Kathryn sighed and settled into her sofa. It was time to decide her
future. And she didn't even know where to begin.

---

Chakotay stood beside Kathryn Janeway in full dress uniform. He wore
the official 3 pips of a full Starfleet Commander. The rest of the
command crew were formed in a line behind he and Kathryn as they met
the new Captain of Voyager. The Doctor was present wearing his
autonomous emitter.

Surrounding the small ceremony was a wall of the media, armed with
anti-grav cameras and assorted equipment. The quiet jostle for
position fell to silence as the two Captains formally transferred
command. The computer dutifully noted the time and date.

Immediately bulbs flashed and the scurrying began. The crew of Voyager
was quickly surrounded by stylishly dressed individuals all seeking to
get the exclusive for their networks. The new captain, John Newcastle,
raised his voice about the din and spoke.

"I would remind everyone that this is not a press conference. This is
a ceremony to celebrate the home coming of a remarkable ship and her
remarkable crew." With that he turned toward Kathryn and Chakotay and
murmured. "Not to mention, Starfleet needs a little positive PR."

Kathryn chuckled, and Chakotay felt sure that he was going to like
this man, even though he felt a sense of envy that Voyager would now
be in someone else's care.

He and Kathryn hadn't had an opportunity to enjoy breakfast as the
press had began arriving well before the scheduled transfer. They'd
both been busy keeping the more resourceful away from sensitive areas
of the ship.

He hoped that since keeping the press in line was someone else's job,
he and Kathryn could talk. Unfortunately, before he could act on his
plan, Captain Newcastle implemented one of his own. Chakotay was left
standing as the man whisked Kathryn away to a table in a shadowed
corner. The wink Kathryn threw him over her shoulder however, told him
more than words ever could.

With a laughing sigh, he turned watched her go. When he turned, no
less than five people were waiting to speak with him. The one who
asked the first question was a dark-haired man who seemed to know him.
It took less than thirty seconds for Chakotay to figure out where his
questions were going. And ten more seconds to figure out where he'd
hidden the camera. The other four were more obvious. Chakotay quickly
excused himself, and went toward the buffet table.

After thirty minutes, his patience was wearing thin. It was definitely
time to get out. He searched the room and found Kathryn surrounded by
a group of Admirals and decided that she was safe. Tom and B'Elanna
had left several minutes earlier, having had their fill of one too
many curious reporters. It was his turn.

Entering his quarters, he looked around, realizing for the first time
that that they truly were leaving. Everything that had marked the room
as his had been removed and placed in a packaging container. He'd been
offered temporary lodging in San Francisco until he made a decision
about Starfleet's offer. All that remained was to have the items
delivered.

His clothing was packed in a large duffel that sat alongside the
container. It didn't look like much, but it contained everything that
he owned. He'd always traveled light.

Sighing heavily, he moved toward the open top of his duffel bag. He'd
riffled through it earlier in an attempt to find one of his shoes. He
wasn't at all sure how he'd managed to pack only one. Now that the
ceremony was over, he might as well change. He reached up to remove
his new pips and smiled. His record had been amended, and he'd been
given full rank dating from the date that Kathryn had invited him
onboard Voyager. Kathryn was a wonder.

Placing the pins in a side pouch within the duffel, his hand lingered
over a leather object that was just visible beneath a gray shirt. It
was his medicine bundle.

He hadn't been able to meditate before. At such a time of transition,
he needed to clear his mind so that he could be open to the
possibilities. Removing the bundle, he settled on the floor and placed
his objects carefully about him. Last, he activated the akoonah.

"Chakotay!"

His eyes snapped open and he found himself in a desert. What had
happened? He hadn't meant to come here. He threw up his hands against
the biting sands. The scorching heat was already causing beads of
perspiration to rise up on his brow.

"Chakotay!" The voice called again. He spun and saw Dredek seated on a
rock.

The old man began speaking. "I have been searching for you! Why have
you not heard?"

"I'm very far away," Chakotay explained. "The tunnel leads to another
part of the galaxy. I couldn't hear you."

"I understand," the old man said. "Others have come here through your
tunnel, Chakotay. They are watching, searching for a weakness. The
elders have convened and we do not know what to do. You are the one of
us who is wise in these matters. Return and sit counsel with us so
that we may decide."

"Dredek... I... I don't know if..."

"Chakotay. Your people need you. You cannot turn your back on them.
Come and then after return to the one that has stolen your heart. She
will wait for you. Come quickly."

The voice faded away as did the old man and Chakotay opened his eyes.

---

Kathryn glanced around the room in search of Chakotay. She hadn't
noticed him leaving, and now, she discovered almost everyone was gone
save she and Neelix, who was having the time of his life.

She threaded her way through the crowds, checking a side area of the
holographic representation. She turned and saw Chakotay gesturing at
her from behind a pair of large ornamental dividers. Looking around,
she moved in his direction. She was surprised to note that he was
dressed in civilian clothing and had a duffel bag tossed over his
shoulder.

"Kathryn, I have to go."

"Go? Go where?" she asked.

Just then, news woman who'd been hounding Kathryn for the better part
of the evening appeared. "Don't the two of you make a wonderful
couple?" The woman exclaimed with studied phony-ness.

"Excuse us," Chakotay took Kathryn's hand and pulled her further
behind the divider.

"What's going on?" she asked him. "Why are you leaving?"

"I have ten minutes to make the transport, but I couldn't leave with
saying so. There's no time to explain. I love you." His words all came
out in a rush and then he kissed her. They both lingered over it for a
moment. "I love you. I'll be back." Then he was gone.

"Would you like to share your and Maquis Chakotay's plans for the
future?" The news woman startled Kathryn by saying. Kathryn spun. Had
the woman been eavesdropping? As she noted the small recording device
tucked behind the woman's ear, she felt herself reddening.

"No I wouldn't," she ground out in response to the woman's questions
and made her way out of the room before she did anything more for the
camera.

---

Kathryn gazed morosely out at the horizon. Sixteen days. She'd been at
her mother's house for two weeks, one day and eighteen hours and there
had been no message from Chakotay. There had been a number of messages
forwarded from Starfleet and old friends. Job offers. But from
Chakotay, nothing. For sixteen days. After the first few days she'd
still felt like a school girl, willing to give him the benefit of the
doubt. By the start of the second week, she was angry and hurt. Now
she was just numb and had to consider the very real possibility that
he might not be coming back.

How could she have been so stupid? He'd just left, hadn't even said
where he was going. Not to herself, not to B'Elanna. Not to anyone
that they both knew. She'd checked. If she ever saw him again she
would... But what if he was hurt? What if...? The circular logic was
getting her nowhere but frustrated.

Her priorities should have been on her future. What was she going to
do? The day after she'd turned over command of Voyager, she'd signed
her resignation from Starfleet. Several had tried to talk her out of
it, but she'd made up her mind. She was ready for something different.

Several of the positions that had been offered looked promising. There
would no doubt be a couple more in her message queue. She didn't care
to check. The day before had been Starfleet's official welcome home.
There had been speaches, and interviews and all of the things Kathryn
had been trying to avoid since they'd been back.

After the official ceremony, the crew had gathered privately for a
huge going away party. Everyone's families had joined together to meet
with the people their loved ones had served with for so long. Tuvok's
entire family had come. Tom and B'Elanna had made a special
announcement. Even the Doctor had made it, with the aid of his
autonomous holo-emitter. Only, Chakotay hadn't made it. She'd made
some excuse for him, saying that he was out of contact. But the looks
of sympathy she'd received had nearly been her undoing. That was when
she decided that it was time to start moving again, that she'd been
sitting still, putting her entire life on hold while she waited for
him to return.

She stretched out on the green grass and looked toward the sky. It was
so wide and blue - it looked limitless, vast and empty. Like her
future. How was she going to fill it?

She closed her eyes and sighed. This wasn't working. 

---

Chakotay stepped off of the transport at the edge of a long drive. A
tiny transport was docked under a tree near a large, welcoming white
house. It was made in the traditional style of old earth homes - most
of the more modern touches disguised by the old. He smiled. This was
the house Kathryn Janeway had grown up in. He could almost imagine her
dancing around the yard, pigtails flying as she tried to figure out
the solution to some mathematical equation or other.

He started up the path to the house and was greeted by the sound of
barking. An Irish setter bounded playfully around the house toward
him. Moments later, a woman with graying red hair and the same bone
structure as Kathryn stepped appeared on the porch.

"Buster! Quiet down!" she urged the animal. The dog obediently ceased
barking, but he continued to dance playfully at Chakotay's feet.

"I'm afraid I don't have anything to offer him," Chakotay said.

The woman waved the idea away. "He doesn't need anything. He's far too
spoiled as it is."

She looked Chakotay up and down and smile spread her lips. "Chakotay,"
she said knowingly. "Gretchen Janeway. She needs to see you." She
gestured him into the front door, through the house and out the back.

Chakotay had brief images of traditional decor and the smell of
something chocolately baking. His stomach rumbled and he realized that
he hadn't taken the time to even eat. Gretchen snapped him out of his
reverie concerning food. "Oh, and I'd be sure to have a damn good
reason for not contacting her for over two weeks. Go straight that
way, pass that old tree and you'll see her. She's probably just laying
in the grass. If you need help,  just yell. Either I or the dogs will
hear you." With that the woman turned and headed back into the house.

Chakotay half chuckled as he watched her go, not sure just how much
hot water he was in. Deciding that haste might be a good idea, he
headed off in the direction Gretchen had indicated. It wasn't long
before he saw her. She was huddled on the ground, hair full of leaves,
sound asleep.

She looked so beautiful, and he'd missed her so terribly. Not to
mention she was going to kill him. Still, he couldn't resist. Stooping
down beside her, he gently pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

Kathryn came up fighting.

"Ow!" he exclaimed landing on his backside across from her.

"What are you doing here?!" she demanded.

"Kissing you?" he asked sheepishly.

Kathryn glared at him, furious. "No, that's what you could be doing if
I'd heard from you the past what two weeks."

"I'm sorry, Kathryn." Chakotay threw his hands up in defense. "I tried
to contact you, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to rent a
ship on Vulcan when you're a former Starfleet, former Maquis, former
Starfleet and you want to fly it into a previously unknown wormhole
that, incidentally is surrounded by science ships all chomping at the
bit to get through? Or how hard is it is to even get contact
information from Vulcan when there is a black out on your girlfriend's
mother's comm address as well as anyone from the Voyager crew? Or just
how long a Teloran deciding ritual can be?"

"You went back?!" Kathryn gasped.

"Dredek asked me to. I didn't have time to explain. The first Vulcan
transport was leaving and I didn't want to miss it."

"You could have told me, Chakotay."

"Yeah, you and half the galaxy. That news lady wasn't going to let me
do that."

"Our kiss was on the eleven o' clock news," Kathryn murmured,
embarrassed.

Chakotay chuckled. "I guess the Delta Quadrant is a better place
without them."  His expression sobered. "I came back to ask you a
question. Well, several actually."

Kathryn looked at him oddly. "Okay."

Chakotay took a deep breath. "Kathryn, will you marry me?"

Kathryn just stared at him, stunned.

"Please?" he swallowed.

"Chakotay... I...I'm overwhelmed. I... I...Yes." She nodded, her eyes
suddenly filling. "But I still reserve the right to be mad at you."

"It's yours," Chakotay grinned pulling her close. "I'm yours."

"Wait." Kathryn held him off. "What are the other questions?"

"Oh. The Teloran's have decided they want to rediscover their lost
knowledge. A lot of it is buried in the ruins on the Northern
continent and a lot can be found in the archives on Telora Minor. I've
also found that there are some stations on the moon which may provide
some clues. They want someone they can trust.

"The Federation has offered, and the Teloran's are open to an
Ambassador on their world. They would like me to accept the position.
We're also going to need a science team for the technological aspects
and an archeological team for the digging. I admit that there are
still a lot of details to work out."

Kathryn nodded as she followed, the excitement growing in her eyes.

"I'd like to take the job, Kathryn. I really care about what happens
to these people. And they want someone they can trust to head up the
science team. I think you're the perfect person for the job."

Chakotay pulled back slightly and looked at her. "What do you think?"

His answer came in the form of a hug that knocked him to the ground,
followed by a very passionate kiss. When the dogs came, much later, it
was to alert them that it was time for dinner.

---

Kathryn lay in bed gazing through the window at the light of distant
stars. Tiny spots of light against the dense blackness of space; so
distant, so beautiful, so familiar.  There weren't names in the
Federation database for most of them yet. But still, they felt like
home.

She glanced toward the man that lay at her side. 'Home is where the
heart is,' she thought, smiling. Her eyes trailed over his hair,
ruffled from sleeping. Since resigning, he'd let it grow out slightly
and no longer wore it brushed away from his face. It hung across his
brow, making him all the more endearing. She was tempted to place a
kiss on his softly puckered lips, but didn't want to awaken him. He
deserved the rest after the hectic pace of the past few weeks. So many
details and loose ends to tie up. Then, four days earlier, they had
been married in a private ceremony at her mother's home. It had gone
beautifully, despite the press's interference halfway into the
reception.

Mark had come. He and his wife had been off planet when Voyager had
returned, and had gathered a lot of information via the subspace
newsgeeds. His wife's name was Cynthia and they were expecting their
first child in three months. They were obviously a couple in love.
Kathryn couldn't have been happier for them.

Neelix had been present as well. Although he'd opened a restaurant in
San Francisco which had gained rapid popularity, he'd insisted on
providing desert for the large gathering. What she and Chakotay had
intended to be a ceremony of perhaps 150, turned out to be a large
gathering of nearly 400. There were just enough lizzard cakes to go
around. The name had put many off, but the dessert itself had been
surprisingly delicious.

After the reception they'd been busy preparing for their new jobs in
the Delta Quadrant. The team had already been put together and the
cargo loaded onto the ship. It awaited only final paperwork and the
two remaining members of the team. The vessel that Starfleet had
assigned to transport them back to the Delta Quadrant seemed very
fitting. Captain Newcastle had been thrilled with his first mission on
Voyager, and welcomed them aboard the night before with a celebratory
dinner.

As part of the agreement that the Telorans had made with the
Federation, a moonbase, manned by Starfleet personnel would be
allowed. The concession that the Telorans had requested was that the
station be manned by non-military personnel. Starfleet hadn't
particularly cared for that provision, but as she and Chakotay were
more than qualified to command the potential station complement of 57,
the Federation had agreed to the term. A team had been setting up the
first stage of the moon base for the better part of a week before
Voyager arrived with the final supplies, among them two new shuttles.

The base was completed as of 2330 hours. The final systems were up and
running. First thing in the morning she and Chakotay were due to go
down and assume command. Her stomach was churning with eagerness to
get started. Which was why she was lying wide awake at 0200 hours.

She sighed. There was really no use in trying. She considered getting
up and going over the next day's checklist or perhaps reorganizing
team assignments. Although she'd looked earlier, it wouldn't hurt to
recheck the survey packs. Her thoughts were interrupted by the feel of
a warm hand, settling softly on her waist.

She turned and looked into Chakotay's warm gaze. "Can't sleep?" he
asked.

She shook her head. "Too worked up about tomorrow."

His hand trailed leisurely along her body, his eyes never leaving
hers. "Come here," he said. His lips spread into a seductive smile
that did curious things to Kathryn's insides.

She rolled obediently into him, loving the feel of his skin pressing
against hers. "Ummm," she murmured, wrapping a leg around his. "I
could go over the checklists," she said half-heartedly.

Chakotay chuckled softly, his lips dangerously close. "I have a list
I'd like you to check." Kathryn's next thoughts had nothing at all to
do with moonbases.

---
CHAPTER NINE : Glimpses in the Sands of Time


Chakotay leaned against the doorway of laboratory room A. Kathryn was
engrossed in conversation with Sekar, one of the Vulcan members of her
science team. The base hadn't been set up for much more than 30 days
and already Kathryn and Sekar had become fast friends. It appeared
that they were arguing about the correct way in which to contain an
energy source they'd discovered during one of the more recent survey
missions. Chakotay didn't want to interrupt, but he was sure Kathryn
wouldn't mind. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

Kathryn glanced up, and said something more before handing a container
to Sekar. She crossed the room with a determined look. "Chakotay,
you're a mess!" she exclaimed, reaching up to remove one of the larger
smudges across his cheek.

"Oh, Sorry," Chakotay said with a laugh. "I thought I got it all."
He'd removed the dust-covered smock upon entering the science area.
He'd then wiped his face with it. Obviously, the smock hadn't been the
proper thing to use. But, he hadn't wanted to wait to tell her the
news. "Do you have a minute?" he asked her.

Kathryn glanced quickly back into the room. "Sure. What's up?"

"We've just received a new applicant requesting to be a part of our
team."

"Okay." Kathryn said, waiting for the rest of it. They were always
getting requests to join their team. Theirs was the type of assignment
scientists longed for. They currently had several hundred resumes on
file.

"He's waiting in the reception center," Chakotay continued.

"Chakotay, you know we don't need any more --"

"But Kathryn, he's different. Telorans are lining up to be trained on
the old knowledge. You've already told me that some of the information
looks like medical data. This new applicant would be uniquely
qualified to handle that portion of our work. He's probably the
most..."

"Chakotay." Kathryn stopped him. "You don't mean..."

"What don't I mean?" Chakotay asked, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"The Doctor?"

Chakotay's smile was her answer. "So much was lost here. The
Federation has allowed him a leave of absence to pursue this interest.
He'd like to assist in rediscovering some of their lost medical
knowledge. He could teach. He could also fill in here as well should
we need him."

"It'd be wonderful to have him," Kathryn said. "I'm surprised though
that the Federation agreed to do that. Aren't they worried about
losing him, or his autonomous emitter?"

"He's got a backup at headquarters. And I imagine that they don't
think our mission is too dangerous. There are only a few races in this
sector and non seem to be too interested in what we're doing here."

"Well, whatever the reason. I'm glad he's here. I never thought I
would miss his annoying..."

"I heard that," a familiar voice sounded from further along the
corridor.

"I meant it in the very nicest of ways," Kathryn assured the Doctor as
she entered the reception center.

"I'm sure," the Doctor said skeptically. "You are looking well,
Captain. It appears that this position is good for you, or is it
perhaps married life?"

---

"You're going to wake him up!" Chakotay admonished, barely above a
whisper. Kathryn was the one who put her finger to her lips.

"No, I'm not. I just want to see him." She continued quietly into the
room and leaned over a white bassinet. A tiny form was illuminated by
the scant moonlight that shone into the room.

"Oh, look at him!" Kathryn softly exclaimed. "He's precious." Unable
to resist the temptation, she reached into the bassinet and ran a
gentle finger over the child's head. The feel of soft downy hair
brought an adoring smile to her lips.

"Kathryn..." Chakotay warned again, though his tone was more amused
resignation than anything else.

"Shhh--" Kathryn put her hands to her lips again. "I'm just --" Both
adults froze at the soft sound that issued from the bassinet. 4 week
old Ian Paris opened pale blue eyes and gazed hazily at the adults
staring down at him, then released a contented sigh and drifted back
to sleep.

"Told you."

Kathryn completely ignored the remark. "Do you think she'd mind if I
held him for just a little while?"

"Kathryn," Chakotay sighed, knowing that the battle he fought was
lost. "You're going to spoil him, and then B'Elanna is going to have
my head."

"Oh, come on, Chakotay. They expect us to spoil him. It's our moral
duty. Besides, think of it as practice." Kathryn gently gathered the
small bundle into her arms, murmuring softly to him as she moved
toward B'Elanna's rocking chair.

"Auntie Kathryn is going to take very good care of you while your
mommy and daddy enjoy their first anniversary. See that fella over
there...," Kathryn continued to coo, nodding in Chakotay's direction.
"We can let him help..."

Chakotay chuckled softly as he settled on a low stool. He watched her
as she continued to talk to the sleeping infant. After a time, the
room fell silent except for the sound of the Ian's gentle breathing.
Chakotay broke it.

"Were you serious about that?" 

Kathryn glanced up. "Serious about what?"

"Having a child."

"I've thought a lot about it lately," Kathryn admitted. "An awful lot.
I'd always thought I'd have one someday, but there was always
something else I wanted to do first. Now, I wonder if it isn't too
late."

"Why would it be too late?" Chakotay asked. "It isn't as if we're
stranded in the Delta Quadrant."

"No," Kathryn smiled. "But, we do live in the Delta Quadrant. And
there's so much work to do on Telora. The science team is always
short-handed -- "

"Kathryn..."

"There are only a handful of supply visits a year, and..."

"Kathryn..."

"I'd want them to have a back yard to play in and..."

"Kathryn Janeway. Do you want to have a child? Our child?"

"Yes. More than anything."

"Then you have to admit to yourself that all of those reasons are just
excuses. After that, the rest is up to nature."

"You make it sound so easy. Can you really imagine us, with children?"

"Yes. We had 150 of them, remember?"

"Not exactly what I meant."

"I know. And the answer is yes. I've already imagined it. A little
girl, your stubborness, my charm..."

Kathryn laughed. "Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves, here?
Don't we need to let nature take its course first?"

"Well, much like parenting, that takes practice."

"You're bad," Kathryn accused with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "I like
that."

Ian interrupted the conversation with an unhappy whine. He raised a
tiny balled fist into the air and struggled to get it into his mouth.

"Looks like someone else has an appetite."

---

"You're heading for a meltdown," Chakotay warned as he returned to the
small fire. Kathryn sat, her back leaning against a rock, her gaze far
away. She started at his words and scrambled for the long stick
containing a distinctly overtoasted marshmallow.

She watched the brownish black blob droop into the fire. "I warned you
I was no good at this," she said with a sigh, throwing the stick into
the fire.

"You were very far away. Tell me about it?" Chakotay asked.

Kathryn smiled softly. "I was just thinking about Tuvok's visit. He
seems happy in his new position...or as happy as a Vulcan is likely to
admit to being, anyway."

Chakotay nodded. Kathryn had seemed withdrawn since Tuvok had left,
which was why he'd suggested the marshmallow toast. He'd been trying
to pull her out of her mood. Tuvok was chief of security of the
outpost that the Federation had built on the Alpha Quadrant side of
the wormhole. Every couple of months, he also escorted the vessel that
delivered messages and supplies to the moonbase. Chakotay had a
feeling he knew what was bothering her.

"And little Ian, he's grown so much." She continued, obviously
remembering the holo image Tom and B'Elanna had sent. Despite her
happiness for the couple, sadness lingered. "She says he'll probably
be walking soon. I can't believe how much time has passed..."

"It'll happen for us, Kathryn." Chakotay squeezed her hand. "It's just
a matter of time. You'll see. We just need to relax and let it
happen."

"I know," Kathryn sighed, turning so that her back was leaning against
him.

"You know what you need?" Chakotay asked, moving quickly to his feet.

"What?" Kathryn turned to watch him as he ran back into their home.
They divided their time between the home the Teloran's had built for
them in the village and their quarters on the moonbase.

Chakotay appeared a few moments later carrying both their medicine
bundles. She hadn't used hers in years, and she knew Chakotay often
meditated early in the morning.

"I want to show you the desert..."  

---

Chakotay ran a hand over his face. It had been a long day, and he was
tired. Most of the team had retired to the temp shelters. There wasn't
much more they could do in the mountainous region after dark.

Mudrilek, on of the young Teloran men who worked with the team, had
remained about to help secure the site for the night. There were few
wild animals on Telora, but they installed secure fencing just in
case.

"Why don't you go ahead and get some rest," Chakotay told him. "We'll
start again at daybreak."

Mudrilek quickly agreed to Chakotay's suggestion and disappeared into
one of the shelters. Chakotay shook his head as he watched the young
man go. Mudrilek had followed him around for days, eager to fulfill
his every whim. It'd taken less than a day for Chakotay to figure out
what the young man was after.

Aukiyana would have been pleased to know that her affection was
returned. Chakotay refused to become involved, preferring to tease the
girl unmercifully. Kathryn had told him he was evil for not putting
the minds of the young people at rest. But he felt it was much more
interesting to allow the young people to figure it out for themselves.

With a chuckle at life, and the universe in general, he entered his
own temporary quarters. As he reached into his pockets to empty them,
he was surprised to brush his fingers across something unusually warm.
He grasped it more firmly and pulled it out.

His butterfly disk. Frowning slightly, he brushed his fingers across
its surface. Normally when he and Kathryn were so far apart, the
surface of the disk darkened. Tonight it was so bright it fairly
glowed.

He blew gently on the disk. He gasped in delight when two shadowy
dancers appeared.

---

They'd actually gone and done it. Kathryn couldn't believe it.

Just a few weeks earlier he'd shown her the dream place, the desert
that was somehow tied to Teloran belief. She was at a loss to explain
how it worked, and so was he. All Kathryn knew was that when he'd
shown it to her, there had been a connection between them like nothing
she'd ever imagined.

They'd done things there, things that still quickened her pulse just
to think about. And then after, they'd carried out those acts
physically. It was as if they'd become one in a manner beyond the
physical. A merging of souls.

And now, the day she'd found out the shocking truth of why she'd been
feeling ill, he was away on one of his extended digs. He wouldn't be
back for another three days. She'd made it through the afternoon
without telling anyone. Only she and the Doctor knew the truth.
Although she felt sure Sekar had her suspicions.

As she stood in the real-water shower, hair full of lather, staring
down at her flat abdomen it hit home that there was a small person
growing there. Her breathing began to quicken and then tears began to
fall. She began to feel overwhelmed. Could she handle this?

A shadow crossed into the room and suddenly a tall dark form appeared
before her. Chakotay, completely dressed, stepped into the shower
cubicle and grasped her arms.

"Chakotay!" Kathryn gasped. It had taken her a moment to focus on his
bearded face through her tears.

"Is it true?" he demanded, his eyes slightly glazed.

"Yes," she whispered, her tears turning to laughter. *They* could
handle this. Everything was going to be all right.

He pulled her into a tight embrace, shampoo and all. Neither noticed
or cared as the shampoo became first mixed with dust and then clothing
as the water continued to wash down the drain.

---

"Ambassador!"

Chakotay looked up sharply, and shielded his eyes from the brilliance
of the sun. All he could make out against the glare was a petite
figure with a dark bob of hair. He squinted a moment longer and came
to his feet, unconsciously wiping remaining grains of dirt against his
trousers.

As the form came into focus, he grabbed her up in his arms and
squeezed. "B'Elanna! What are you doing here?" he yelled happily. He
barely caught the knowing looks from other members of the team.

B'Elanna squeezed him back. "We came to see you two! If you turn that
thing off, we won't have to yell!"

Chakotay grinned sheepishly as he settled the woman back on her feet
and shut down the soil sorting machine. He'd grown accustomed to the
sound of rock and other hard bits of dirt clanging against the bottom
of the collection tray. It wasn't exactly the latest technology, but
it did its job.

"I see you got your wish," B'Elanna was laughing. "Although this isn't
exactly what I would have pictured an ambassador to be doing."

"That's one of the best things about being an ambassador, no one will
tell me I can't join in the digs - especially since there's so much
work to do." Chakotay said, attempting to beat the better part of the
dirt from his clothing. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? We
would have met your shuttle."

"Tom and I have a seminar on Vulcan, so we thought we'd stop in. He
and Ian are back at your place with Kathryn. But what I really want to
know is what you're doing out here?"

"Do you really need me to restate the obvious?" Chakotay grinned at
her.

"Do you really need me to tell you that you should be home with your
wife? She'd due any day now, you know."

"It's not time, yet." Chakotay spoke with a confident smile.

"How can you possibly know that? Twenty-fourth century medicine can't
even predict with any accuracy when a baby will come. That's why they
tell you the due date -- so you'll know when to stick close to home."

"What about you and Tom? I nailed that one, didn't I?"

"Lucky guess." B'Elanna smiled, but she didn't let it drop. "You
really should go in there, you know. She thinks she ran you off. Just
don't tell her she has another entire week to go."

"But it's the truth. Would you have me lie?" Chakotay feigned shock.

"On second thought. You're safer out here. Care to show me around?"

"I'd love to."

---

Delighted laughter filled the room along with the smell of
strawberries. "Daddy! You weren't supposed to eat it for real!"

Chakotay grinned down at the five year old wonder seated in the bath
tub. "You're kidding me," he said in mock horror looking from one
lather covered hand to the other. "Then what am I suppose to do with
all of this stuff?"

Elizabeth's blue eyes twinkled at his antics. "Here, let me help," she
said, scooping a yellow plastic spoon across the mound of lather in
her hair.

"No, no, no, pumpkin," Chakotay responded immediately, gently pushing
the spoon away from her mouth. "Daddy was just kidding. He didn't
really eat the shampoo -- even if it does smell good enough to eat."

"I know, Daddy!" Elizabeth laughed impishly. "When is mommy coming
home, anyway?"

"What? You don't think Daddy can wash hair as good as mommy?"

Elizabeth smiled adoringly at him. "Ummm...."

"Okay," Chakotay laughed. "Don't answer that. Mommy will be home
tomorrow and she will have a surprise for you."

"My new brother, right?"

"Right."

"Is he going to be very big?" Elizabeth suddenly looked very sad, her
dark lashes shadowed her eyes.

Chakotay frowned. "Why do you ask that sweetie?"

"'Cuz all our stuff is getting put in cartons and sent away. He must
take up lots of space."

Chakotay stifled an amused grin. He wanted to meet her concerns with
the same seriousness that she'd exhibited. "Remember our talk about
moving back to Earth?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Well, that's why we're packing our things in cartoons. We're going to
move to a new home."

"Are you sure we can't stay here? Uncle Mudri and Auntie Auki won't
mind."

"We can send messages to Mudri and Auki from Earth. They can even come
visit us if they want. Mom's work here is completed, and now she needs
to go back to Earth so that she can study what's she learned with
other scientists. And since the Telorans have decided to join the
Federation, Daddy needs to be on Earth more than he needs to be on
Telora."

Elizabeth's mouth drooped further. "Oh."

Chakotay touched her chin. She'd been excited when they'd spoken about
it weeks earlier, but now that the transition was beginning to take
place, she seemed bothered.

"Tell you what," he said. "After your bath, why don't we go to mom's
lab? There is a holographic program of our new house. We can visit and
check out your new room, if you like."

A small smile began to light the child's lips. "Okay."

---

"It's so big!" Aukiyana gazed down at the bridge that spanned the San
Francisco Bay.

"You'll get used to that," Elizabeth said matter-of-factly. "What you
have to do is ride the horses!"

Kathryn's eyes met Chakotay's with a smile as they watched their eight
year old daughter attempting to teach twenty-three year old Aukiyana
the ropes. Three year old Kolo lay sleeping in Chakotay's arms.

Aukiyana had come to Earth as part of a cultural exchange program with
the Telorans. Mudri would be joining her in several weeks. Aukiyana's
help had been instrumental in deciphering much of the technology still
available to the Teloran people. She'd become a teacher.

"There will be lots of time to have a look around," Kathryn rescued
the Teloran woman. "After all, you are going to be with us a year."

"Yes," Aukiyana nodded, looking around the shuttle. Her eyes settled
on Chakotay.

*Who would have thought ten years ago that stealing into the mind of a
passing alien would have led to all of this?*

Chakotay smiled, and Kathryn could tell that some silent communication
passed between them. She never had been able to hear it like he did.
But she knew that whatever it was, he would tell her later. And she
would wholeheartedly agree.

---

"Chakotay, I can't believe this! Why is she behaving this way? I never
did this as a child." Kathryn brushed a final few strokes through her
hair and tossed her brush to her dressing table. "She knows how I feel
about this type of thing."

Chakotay sat gently on the edge of their bed, careful to avoid her
path as she paced their bedroom. He nonchalantly slid a parcel beneath
his pillow, watching as Kathryn struggled to braid and pace.

"Why don't you let me do that for you," he asked, patting the edge of
the bed. He did it most nights, anyway. In her current state she was
only tangling it.

She sank to the bed beside him, murmuring a soft thanks before
continuing her rant. "What made her even think I'd allow her to have
her toe nails cosmetically altered? She's twelve!! What was she
thinking? Do you know she accused me of being too rigid?"

Chakotay smiled softly when she turned to him, but continued to gently
run his fingers through the long strands of her hair. There were a
growing number of gray strands mixed in with the auburn of late. He
loved it. Gently massaging her scalp, he divided the hair into pieces
and began to braid.

Kathryn fell silent as his fingers gently brushed her neck. When she
spoke again, her voice was softer. "What do you think we should do
about this?"

"I have an idea," Chakotay said as he tied off the end of the braid.
"But you might not like it."

Kathryn turned to him and smiled. It was an old joke with them. "When
has that ever stopped you before?"

Chakotay held her gaze for a moment, then reached beneath the pillow
and pulled out his package. "I found this at a novelty store. Several
versions can easily be programmed into the replicator." He pulled a
handful of small bottles from the package and displayed an assortment
of colors in gentle shades.

At Kathryn's look of dismay, he rushed on. "Come on, KJ. She's
*thirteen*, and she's getting older. Consider the alternative.
This...polish is easily removed, *without* undergoing a surgical
procedure or a genetic alteration. *We* get to pick the colors and
just think of the fun we can have trying it out..." He finished his
arguments with a wicked grin.

Kathryn's irritation melted and she returned the smile. "Okay," she
said. "I like the idea."

"Good," Chakotay grinned, spinning her on the bed. With a great deal
of ceremony, he pulled one of her feet into his lap and selected a
color. After gently kissing each toe, he carefully began to paint.

---

"Who's that with Seven?" B'Elanna moved surreptitiously closer to
Kathryn to ask. Kathryn glanced passed B'Elanna's shoulder to take in
the talk dark-haired man who walked with the woman who'd once been a
Borg drone.

Her hair hung softly down her back and she was dressed casually for
the warm southern California weather. She still wore her Borg
enhancements proudly, and though Starfleet listed her name as Anika
Hansen, everyone who knew her called her Commander Seven, first
officer of the USS Hale. The fellow with her, however, was a mystery.

"I don't know," Kathryn answered B'Elanna's question. "Let's go find
out." Both women got up from their seats at one of the wooden tables
and moved determinedly toward the woman. They were interrupted however
by a loud crash.

"Buster!" a voice screamed.

They turned in time to see one of the tables had been upended by
someone's dog. Just who's dog was quickly apparent as Naomi Wildman-
Sumner appeared to take charge of the animal and the small boy who had
somehow ended up in the middle of the mess.

Kathryn and B'Elanna rushed over to help her with the mess. By the
time they were done, Seven was talking with Vorik, and the young man
who'd appeared with her was nowhere to be seen.

"Burgers are ready!" Tom called from the direction of the grill.
Neelix was nearby, putting final touches on several dishes. Chakotay
had an old apron tied around his waist, the words had faded from many
years of use. No one was quite sure exactly what he was doing.

"Look at them," B'Elanna laughed. "One would think they were great
chefs, preparing to entertain high dignitaries. Speaking of which,
where are our children?"

"I think I saw Ian and Kolopak with the men playing on the hoverball
court. Elizabeth is an entirely different story. I haven't seen her."

"She nervous?"

"Terrified. But she'd never admit it."

"Did you ask Seven to go easy on her?" B'Elanna laughed. "It is her
first Starfleet mission after all. Straight out of the academy."

"Are you kidding? She'd have a fit if she found out I did something
like that."

"Don't worry. I won't tell her." B'Elanna said jokingly. "The Hale is
a *good* assignment though. Has a great set of engines."

Kathryn laughed and shook her head. B'Elanna and Tom both had a hand
in the design of the Hale. It was one of Starfleet's newest and
fastest starships. The other was the USS Tretari. It and its crew were
on a deep space mission exploring the Delta Quadrant. They
occasionally heard word of how Captain Kim's voyage was going through
Starfleet contacts.

"Uh oh." Kathryn said as she caught sight of a familiar figure gazing
disdainfully into one of Neelix's pots. Tuvok, dressed in traditional
Vulcan garb quickly closed the lid on whatever item Neelix had been
simmering on the edge of the grill. "I think he just found the pot of
no return."

"Did we ever get a straight answer on what that was?" B'Elanna asked.

"I don't know if I *want* a straight answer," Kathryn said. The
majority of the annual crew gathering were moving toward the tables
and food now.

"Oh, I recognize those," B'Elanna said as Ian moved toward the table
with a group of young men. Moira, her and Tom's younger daughter,
followed among a group of girls all speaking in excited tones.

"Well, I see one of mine." Kathryn said. Kolopak was among the group
of young men with Ian.

"Has he made his decision?" B'Elanna asked.

"Yes. I think he's willing to join Starfleet because he thinks we
expect it of him. But that's not where his heart is. He wants to study
cultural anthropology. He's been accepted into a program at the
University of San Quentin that begans in the fall."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm happy for him. It's what he wants to do."   

"And what's this?" B'Elanna nudged Kathryn's arm. Kathryn turned at
the sight of Elizabeth and the young man that had arrived with Seven
walking toward them. "Fill me in later," B'Elanna murmured as she
disappeared toward the tables.

Kathryn smiled graciously as he reached his hand toward her. "Hello,
I'm Lieutenant Edward Johnson, ship's counselor. I'm going to be
serving aboard the Hale with your daughter. Commander Seven asked me
to help her become acquainted with the ship."

Kathryn smiled and thanked the young man. He was very polite, darkly
handsome, and vaguely familiar. One look at Elizabeth and she could
tell that her daughter was looking forward to the assignment. She
turned back to the young man as he continued to speak.

"I believe you knew my father. His name was Mark Johnson."

---
CHAPTER TEN: Serenade

Sands fall and tumble
Warm 'neath my feet
Suns shine unceasing
Steady heart beats
Lungs breathe so deeply
Bountiful I've reaped
Love is everything
Found is what I seek
                         -- Words My Father Told Me, Chakotay's Songs.
---

"How am I supposed to do this if you keep moving?"

Kathryn looked up from the sleeve she'd readjusted, carefully arching
a brow. "I have a better question. *Why* are you doing this? I'm the
painter, remember? You do that," she waved an arm, "Other stuff."

"It's called *wood working*, Kathryn," Chakotay said, allowing his
gaze to follow the path her hair took over a shoulder. He deftly added
another touch of color to the canvas. "I think you're just jealous."

"That's ridiculous," Kathryn said. "Why would I be jealous?"

"Like you said. Painting is your thing. You've painted me, the kids,
the dog, the house... But is there one picture of you? No. So, if I
want a painting of you, I'm just going to have to do it myself."

"But Chakotay, you've never painted."

Chakotay shrugged. "Sure I have... lots if you count the sand. How
different can it be? There you go moving again. If you would've let me
paint you au natural you wouldn't have had to worry about those
sleeves."

Kathryn laughed, allowing her head to fall back. "You're crazy, you
know that? Who else but you would suggest an old woman pose naked in
the middle of the desert?"

"Oh, but you love me, anyway." Chakotay grinned mischievously, the
laugh lines about his eyes, merging with his dimples. Kathryn's
expression softened. She loved the way they did that.

"It's a sickness with me," she said. "It's all your fault."

"Guilty." Chakotay said. "Now be still. Just a few more minutes and
I'll be done."

"Good," Kathryn said. "It's starting to get warm."

"Yeah, a little" Chakotay agreed, shading his eyes into the sun. "I
think our atmospheric barrier is starting to wear off."

"We could have done this on a holodeck, you know."

"Yeah. But that would have been too programmed, too easy to tell the
sun where to be." Chakotay stood back away from his painting and
looked from it to her. In the end he turned toward her. "You're
beautiful."

"The heat is getting to you." Kathryn laughed, dismissing his
comments. Inwardly though she cherished them, and he knew it. Wiping
an arm over her brow, she fought to avoid grimacing at the stab of
pain. The analgesic injections were becoming increasingly less
effective she realized. She been taking progressively more of the drug
over the past couple months.

"Is it time to eat yet?" she asked softly.

"Yes it is," Chakotay said. "*And* the painting is finished. Want a
look?"

Kathryn was very curious. They'd been camping for three days and in
all that time he hadn't allowed her even a glance, despite her
attempts to talk him in to it. She sat stiffly up from the soft
cushions and approached him, releasing a small sound as her bones
rebelled. She was definitely getting old.

Chakotay watched her cross to him with the beginnings of a frown. She
smiled quickly to alleviate his worries. He stepped slightly aside to
allow her the benefit of standing directly before the easel.

Kathryn smile at him before turning toward the painting. She was all
prepared to have to say something that wouldn't hurt his feelings.
Instead she found herself gaping. He'd drawn her looking wistfully out
over the desert. The flowing garments she wore ruffled on a gentle,
unseen breeze, fluttering against her cheek and across a shoulder. His
brush strokes were confident, and had a passionate flourish. Kathryn
felt a lump forming in her throat.

"Oh Chakotay, it's beautiful," Kathryn whispered. "I had no idea..."

"I think I'll title it, Lady Jane," he said, softly. "For the
beautiful woman she's meant to portray."

Kathryn was deeply touched and told him so. Chakotay smiled, then
kissed her nose and told her to go have a rest while he got lunch from
the shuttle.

Kathryn nodded, but remained to stare at the painting a few minutes
longer. As she stood there, the heat seemed to have turned to a chill.
She rubbed her hands along her arms and moved back toward the blanket
and pillows. Perhaps it was time to check in with their doctor. She'd
thought she was just tired and achey, but it had been going on for too
long. And the amount of analgesic she was having to take was beginning
to worry her.

Settling unto the cushions, she gazed out over the desert sands,
focusing her mind on something other than her discomfort. The sounds
of Chakotay's lunch preparations echoing out of the shuttle brought a
smile to her lips. He had chosen the area because of the many flowing
dunes against the backdrop of the Painted Mountains. Their shaded
sides shimmered in the day's heat, causing them to look like giant
mirages rising out of the desert floor.

Of course, she and Chakotay were protected by their atmospheric
barrier -- well, most of the time anyway. She was hot again. Reaching
a hand under one of the pillows in search of the device, she was
surprised to find that the temperature was only 2 degrees higher than
they'd programmed.

She gazed around her, looking for a visual indication that might tell
her if the display were incorrect. She was beginning to feel
lightheaded. Wiping again at her brow, she looked toward the shuttle.
It's contours were beginning to blur, and the sound of Chakotay's
movements were growing fainter. What was taking him so long?

Pushing herself onto shaky legs, she tried to move toward the shuttle.
Her legs did not want to propel her forward. She tried to call
Chakotay's name but couldn't get the words passed her lips. A feeling
she could only describe as fear entered her heart.

Chakotay must have realized that something was wrong because she heard
the distant clatter of falling dishes and then he was running down the
ramp. She saw that his lips were moving, but she couldn't make out the
words.

Rushing blackness obscured everything else.

---
~~Sands shift endless
Harsh beneath my feet
Suns blind bitter
Barren is the beat
Lungs breathe empty
Desperately I seek
Love fears living
Pale and incomplete 

                      -- Words My Father Told Me, Chakotay's Songs~~
---

Chakotay sat with his face buried in his hands as he waited for the
doctor to examine Kathryn. She'd been fine that morning, all weekend
actually. He hoped that it was something simply treated, but a gnawing
feeling told him that this would not be the case.

He glanced toward the wall chronometer. Over an hour had passed since
he had arrived at the medical facility with her limp body in his arms.
Being retired Starfleet had its priviledge. They received priority
medical transport priviledge from anywhere on Earth. In an instant
after he'd activated their badges, they'd arrived at the nearest
medical facility. Seconds later she'd been in the hands of trained
medical specialists.

The opening of a sliding door caught his attention. As he looked up,
half fearfully, into the doctor's sympathetic eyes, he knew that the
next words out of the man's mouth were going to break his heart.

"Ambassador Chakotay. We should talk in my office."

Chakotay sat frozen in his chair. "Is she...?"

"No." The doctor shook his head. "But we need to talk."

Chakotay nodded, pushing himself to a standing position. Placing one
foot in front of the other as he followed the doctor to his office was
one of the hardest things he'd had to do in a long time. The next
hardest was listening as the doctor spoke, hearing the words and the
utter lack of hope. They would do everything they could to make her
comfortable. The Federation would bring its resources together. A team
would be formed. Chakotay saw through it all. The results were in.
Three months and her fate was sealed.

Numb was all that was left to him as he sat a solitary vigil at her
bedside. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful, as she lay sleeping.
The medications would be wearing off soon. When she awakened, he would
be the one to tell her.

--------------
EPILOGUE
by Elizabeth Janeway-Johnson


~~This portion of the story is one that I have to tell in my own
voice. Though it is the most difficult to tell, and perhaps the most
difficult to read, understand that theirs was a life that was full and
rich. They made a difference and left a definitive mark on our
society. Of course they didn't do it to secure a place in history or
to make a name for themselves, but it happened that way anyway.

When many remember the ceremonies and the awards, I will remember the
hugs and the smiles. The awards are certainly deserved, but they don't
keep you warm or fill you up with the overwhelming beauty of just
being. That is what our parents did for us. They loved us until we
bubbled over. They did this in life, and they shared even more so in
death. I'll tell you that story now.

It had happened quickly...

They'd been camping in Arizona. While most preferred Risa, or TiCan,
they preferred the desert, finding time to visit every year. He'd been
painting her, she'd said, the day she'd collapsed. Starfleet had
arranged the best doctors the galaxy had to offer, but there had been
nothing that they could do. Our only consolation was that she would be
in no pain for the three months left to her, and that provided she
remain in isolation, away from anything that might upset her fragile
system.

She was a determined woman, my mother. She'd insisted on going home,
refusing to shrivel away in some sterile medical suite. No matter how
much they pretty it up, it's still a cold, sterile place to die, she'd
said. And my father had backed her up all the way.

She had only been home just over a week that day she'd sent for him. I
remember bringing in the basket of foodstuffs that had been sent by
Old Neelix. The running joke was that leola root was a fountain of
youth, as Neelix hadn't aged a day since he'd arrived in the Alpha
Quadrant. She'd laughed and insisted that it'd turned Dad's hair from
gray to black again. And then her smile had quietly fallen away and
she'd looked at me oddly. "Go get your father, dear." I'd nodded
mutely, surprised at the abrupt switch in the conversation, but
brushing it away as some detail of her will or bit of business that
she'd suddenly remembered.

"Dad," I'd said, standing in the doorway of his workshop. "She's
asking for you."

"I know," he'd said softly, gazing off at nothing. Then he'd looked at
me. The expression in his eyes will forever haunt me, because at that
moment I knew something had changed; some part of my future was to be
irretrievably altered from that which I'd come to expect. It was then
that the moisture began to build behind my eyes, and the wrenching in
my heart.

I don't exactly remember him moving, but suddenly he was there in the
doorway, gently supportive. The reassuring smile that did nothing to
hide the pain in his gaze spoke profoundly of the love that had always
flowed beneath the surface of our home. It strengthened me; gave me
the courage to follow him to their room.

He'd entered hesitantly and knelt near the side of her bed, careful
not to disturb the med. controls along its edge. Her hand snaked out,
almost desperately grasping his. That tiny movement pulled me up
short, caused me to pause. What was conspiring here, between these
two, was personal, private. I remained at the door.

"Chakotay," she'd smiled up at him. "I need the box." She had spoken
the words almost apologetically.

He'd smiled gently down at her in return, nodding. The lines on his
face were never so deep as they were when he turned away from her and
retrieved a small wooden box from her dressing table. Looking slightly
lost, he slid it into her hands. She caressed it a moment before
placing one of his hands on top of it, covering it with her own.

"You will give it to them." It was a statement.

"Yes, Kathryn. My love..." his voice broke and his face fell for the
briefest moment. "You know I will."

"Thank you," she smiled tremulously at him. It was obvious that more
was being said than the words. But they had always been that way;
always communicating on some level that most humans missed.

"I've loved you forever, Kathryn. And no matter what happens from this
day, I will continue to love you. Forever. Forever my beautiful,
beautiful Kathryn."

She'd laughed then, a weak raspy thing. "I look a wreck," she
muttered, running a hand over still thick gray locks. "So much for
going out in style."

His smile broadened. "You're beautiful," he insisted, his eyes never
leaving hers. Through his smile tears fell unheeded, dripping down
unto his tunic marking the breaking of his heart.

She raised a hand and wiped at them, moving her lips to speak but
loosing her voice on the words.

He caught the hand and drew it to his lips, and then to his heart. "So
beautiful."

She sighed, a frown marring her brow. "I'm cold, Chakotay. So cold ...
"

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he broke then, sobbing. "I-I can't...I don't
know how..."

"No," she spoke determinedly. "No," more softly. ." She told him.
"This isn't good-bye, Chakotay. Never good-bye. Never good-bye..."

Her voice faded away on the last word, and she closed her eyes.

That was June. A warm spring day in June. Two and a half months later
we received a call. Ten weeks, almost to the day. He needed us to come
home quickly, and of course we obliged. Either Kolopak or I had taken
to visiting at least once a week, as he'd refused to live with either
of us, or have one of us with him. But this time he wanted all of us
to come, Edward and I and the children and Kolopak.

When we arrived he'd prepared a wonderful dinner. He'd always loved to
cook. Seeing him smiling and happy after so much grief was as if the
Sun had returned after devastating rains. There was no longer that
indescribable sadness in his eyes - today there was peace.

We ate and played games. He even sang a song! He said he'd written it
for us, his family. He'd smiled then and kissed each one of us before
going up to bed.

He died that night. Peacefully, in his sleep, with a smile on his
lips.

We buried him three days later.

His ashes were interred along side my mother with quiet dignity.
Though Starfleet banners flew over Cochran National, and the event was
broadcast via subspace to all who desired to honor his passing,
Admiral Tuvok had managed to prevent a media frenzy as had occurred
two months earlier...when she'd died. After the ceremony he'd given us
handwritten messages from our father. And the messages had led us here
-- back to our family home.

So there I sat, staring at what I'd found tucked away in their room,
half afraid to even touch it. But the gentle brown of its finished
surface begged to be touched, and it found its way into my lap. The
memories flowed over and through me as I held it. Her face, faintly
lined, as she turned it over to him, asking that he give it to us...
His gentle smile as he promised...

As I continued to examine it, I realized that this wasn't the same box
I'd seen that day; it was larger. And Kolopak now possessed its mate.
That they'd both had a share in preparing them for us was obvious as
the boxes bore the mark of both of them. The smooth maple of the wood
brought to mind many times watching my father working his gentle magic
with wood. It had only been a hobby, but all our homes contained
reminders of his handiwork.

The lid was framed with a delicate sand design in gentle tones,
highlighting the warmth of the wood. The image within the frame made
me want to laugh and weep at the same time. It was a desert, painted
with soft watercolors. It was their desert: a painting we'd seen many
times throughout childhood, though we'd never learned the meaning of
the secret smiles they'd shared whenever the subject was broached.
There was a difference in this desert though, it held an oasis.

I ran my hand along the front of the box, activating the catch. It
rose obediently with a slightly mechanical motion to reveal several
rows of storage disks. A small player lay nestled in one corner, a
disk already loaded.

I'm not sure what I expected to find inside the box, jewelry, perhaps
some bauble that meant a great deal to them, or even something for my
medicine bundle. Whatever the case, storage disks wasn't it. Confused,
I activated the play button. There was a gentle hum as the mechanism
activated, and then I was pulled back in time as the sound of her
throaty laughter filled the room. I gasped in surprise, immediately
drawn into the scene displayed on the inside of the open lid.

Her hair hung in long rich waves that my father was playing in. It
looked as if they were sitting in a medical bay, years earlier. "Stop
it!" she slapped at his hands. "We're recording..."

My fathered pulled his hand back, feigning hurt. "Fine," he muttered,
mischief dancing in his eyes. Mom gave him a laughing reprimand with
her eyes before turning back to fully face the screen. His eyes
caressed the side of her face a moment longer before he too faced the
view screen.

"My darling Elizabeth," she began. "Your father and I are recording
this on the day of your birth. We want you to know how happy we are to
have you as a part of our lives..." The message continued for several
minutes. Dad even lifted a dark-haired, blue-eyed infant into the
range of the video pick-up.  Of course I'd known it had happened, but
it was so odd to actually see them as new parents fawning over their
first child. I had to laugh at their playfulness.

When the message ended, the screen faded to black and mom's face
appeared again. She was over four decades older, yet beauty and quiet
dignity clung as an indelible possession. The time index was for
several days before she'd died. The day she'd given me the butterfly
disk. I'd carried it with me since that day. I reached for it
involuntarily.

"My darling Elizabeth," she began. Her voice was much softer, more
subdued. "You're no doubt wondering what this is all about. I think
it's best that I tell you with a story. Many years ago when I first
met your father, he used to tell me stories. Some of them I loved,
some I hated; but without fail, all of them touched me deeply. It
was," she smiled gently, "almost a sickness with him. But somewhere
along the line, I caught it, too."

She turned away from the screen and picked up a box - my box, I
realized. She ran a finger gently over it. "Life isn't certain,
Elizabeth. You know that. We all die, but what we leave behind is what
is important. You and your brother and your children are all part of
us, part of what we'll leave behind. And that's a rich, rich blessing.
But there's more that we can give you, an additional inheritance: our
stories. Contained in your box, and in Kolopak's box are our stories,
you father's and mine, and a bit of yours as well. Keep them as a
reminder of life, and of our love. "

She kissed the tips of her fingers and turned them toward the screen.
"Never good-bye, my daughter. Our stories live on."

Inexplicably, I felt driven to activate the butterfly disk. I blew
gently across its surface. As the butterflies danced, I found myself
mirroring my mother's motion. Her image flickered and froze as I
touched my fingers to the screen.

"Never good-bye, Mom. Our stories live on."~~

---
Random Logs (Because I couldn't bear to end this story on a low
note and because you survived to the end of the story, I've added a
few log entries from the desks of KJ and C. :-) Please also note the
attached Kleenex coupon.
---

Personal log: Kathryn Janeway


We received a large package today. The return address was from the USS
Tretari, via the Gauntlet, via the Primsess, via Interstellar
Confederated Shipping, via New Mars forwarding facility and finally
Earthside Federation Package Service.

When they first contacted us, requesting that we arrange for final
transport I was curious. I had no idea what to expect. The only person
I knew on the Tretari was its Captain and his family. But why would
Harry be sending such a large package? He was currently on a deep
space mission to explore the Delta Quadrant. His ship had been fitted
with Starfleet's latest engine design, tested at Paris Testing
Facilities in Santa Barbara. What couldn't have waited until he
returned in a year?

I gave the Package Service worker the go-ahead to beam the package to
our coordinates. It was too heavy for me to move alone, so I left it
sitting in the middle of the living room floor while I circled it. A
small green indicator was flashing on its surface, announcing that a
message from the sender was attached. I pressed the button.

A small holo of Harry appeared atop the container. "We surveyed a very
familiar planet today. We found something that I thought you might
like to have." That was it. Such a cryptic message piqued my curiosity
even more.

I activated the unlocking sequence. The sides of the container
released with a gentle whoosh of artificial atmosphere. I pulled the
sides away, revealing something brown in the dim confines of the
container. My heartbeat quickened as I quickly removed the next
portion. Before long I had the entire thing 'unwrapped' and sat
bawling before the wooden bathtub that Chakotay had built for me over
14 years ago on New Earth. The leanto Chakotay had built for it had
left it amazingly well preserved.

We've decided to build a bathhouse off the back porch. A nice large
one where we can have lots of privacy.

Personal Log: Chakotay

Today I realized a dream. It didn't occur to me until we were all
sitting around the eating fire at one of the clan festivals. Kathryn
was stretched out next to me with her head thrown back. Strands of her
hair fell softly over one of my arms.

Suddenly Elizabeth yelled from the group of little girls she was
playing with. They'd made a game of collecting wild flowers, and she'd
made a bracelet for Kathryn. I'd seen her hide it behind her back,
whispering something to her young playmates.

Kathryn was none-the-wiser as she'd been listening to something
Aukiyana was saying about the new touch pads for the clan's interface
to the Machine. At our daughter's voice, the two women had stopped
talking and Kathryn had sat up and gazed across the grasses.

"What is it, honey?" she'd called.

"Come here, mommy," Elizabeth had called again, waving her mother
over. I stifled a laugh at her earnest expression, and shrugged at
Kathryn's questioning look. She'd find out soon enough.

She'd stood and ran out unto the field. I could no longer hear what
they were saying, but Elizabeth brought the bracelet of flowers from
behind her back and presented them to her mother.

Kathryn said something to her and gave her a big hug. Elizabeth
beamed, then asked something else, pointing in my direction. Kathryn
laughingly followed her gaze and shook her head no. As my eyes
caressed my wife and my daughter, I heard Aukiyana ask a soft question
near my ear.

"Is there something different about Kathryn?"

I frowned and took another look. A warmth began to envelope my heart
as I reached into my pocket for my butterfly disk. As had happened
during the time Kathryn was carrying Elizabeth, two shadowy
butterflies danced. Of course Kathryn didn't know it yet. But she
would.

I've always dreamed of a future where I could live happily, surrounded
by family and friends. It has been my desire since I lost nearly
everything dear to me in the Cardassian's attack. That future is now.
And it is beautiful.

---

Author's End Notes: Initial credit for this premise must go to
***Joshua Kadison and his wonderful song, "Beautiful in My Eyes". Even
if you don't know the song, the words are quite lovely. I've included
them for your enjoyment.

Beautiful in My Eyes
                   - by Joshua Kadison

You're my peace of mind
In this crazy world.
You're everything I've tried to find
Your love is a pearl
You're my Mona Lisa,
You're my rainbow skies
And my only prayer is that you realize.
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes

The world will turn,
And the seasons will change.
And all the lessons we will learn
will be beautiful and strange
We'll have our fill of tears
Our share of sighs
My only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes

You will always be
Beautiful in My Eyes
And the passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

When there are lines upon my face
>From a lifetime of smiles
And when the time comes to embrace
For one long last while
We can laugh about
how time really flies
We won't say good-bye
cause true love never dies
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes

You will always be
Beautiful in my eyes
And the passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes
The passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes.

* These verses were originally a part of the story posted as "Subtle
Changes"
** This is from the 148th stanza of Lord Byron. (Familiar quotations
from Bartlett.) www.bartleby.com
***Mr. Kadison maintains a web site at: www.joshuakadison.com