The BLTS Archive- The Opening Door
#5: Revelations
by Isla (Islaofhope@aol.com)

----

Disclaimer:  Star Trek and its characters all belong to Paramount,
Viacom, and Rick Berman.  I'm just borrowing the characters for a
while. This is fan fiction.  I won't make any money from it.  In fact,
it's getting in the way of my gainful employment...

Thanks to my T'Aaneli, Hafital, and Jat_Sapphire who took time out
from their own wonderful stories to ensure that the vision I had
inside came out in this story.  They also told me when I missed the
mark.  And I mostly listened. 

Okay to archive, but please contact me before archiving anywhere
except  ASCEM.

Please send feedback.  I'll even take negative feedback; it really
won't hurt my feelings - it just gets my creative juices flowing.

---

I picked up my lunch tray, surveyed the crowded mess hall, spotted Jim
and Spock seated at their usual small table in the corner of the room,
and walked over to join them.  Spock was peeling an orange and fixing
his usual serious expression on Jim.  Jim wore a smile of affectionate
amusement - also his usual expression when he looked at Spock.

To my surprise, they were both speaking in what I believed was Vulcan.
I hadn't realized that Jim even knew the Vulcan language other than
some  diplomatic expressions of courtesy.  Of course, I've always
suspected that Jim and Spock had their own secret language - they
often communicated in half-sentences, and understood each other with
few words in a crisis.

I clattered my tray down on their table.  "Gentlemen, may I join you,
or am I interrupting something?"

They both looked up, and, oddly enough, Jim blushed slightly.  "Hello,
Bones.  Please join us,"

I frowned, trying to interpret the looks that they were exchanging.
"You guys sure know how to make someone feel like a fifth wheel.  What
kind of secrets are you two hiding now?"

"C'mon, Bones, are you getting paranoid in your old age?" Jim pushed
his  plate aside to give me more room.  "How have you been?  I've
barely seen you since we left the starbase a week ago."

"Well, I haven't been in hiding."  I set my tray down with a thump.
"By the way, when did you learn to speak Vulcan, Jim?"  I looked down
at his lunch tray.  Instead of his usual chicken sandwich, he had a
plate of steamed vegetables and brown rice.  Mostly untouched.  "And
when did you change your eating preferences?  Although the vegetables
won't do you much good if you don't actually eat them."

Spock had finished peeling the orange; he divided it in two, and held
it out to Jim.  Jim accepted it with a smile.  Something about the
sight of Spock peeling and sharing an orange with Jim kind of made me
raise an eyebrow, but I couldn't put my finger on what was strange
about it.

Jim cranked up the voltage on his smile when he turned it on me.  "Is
this a house call, Doctor?  Actually, I'm just trying to keep up the
good eating habits that I picked up on my shore leave.  Spock refused
to allow any animal products in our kitchen, so I ate vegetarian for
two weeks.  I found that I liked it, so I'm going to try it for
awhile."

I glanced at the Vulcan, who'd eaten everything on his plate before he
started on the orange.  "Another positive side effect of your
influence,  Spock?"

"It astonishes me that you would question any efforts that the captain
is  making to improve his health, Doctor."  Well, the pointy-eared elf
didn't look one bit astonished when he said this.

"Okay, what about speaking Vulcan?"  This I said to Jim.

Jim separated a section from the orange in his hand.  "Spock started
teaching me while we were on shore leave.  Had to find something to do
between chess games."

"So what's the Vulcan word for cartwheel?"

Jim grinned.  "Spock told you about that?  I had to teach him
something in return."

Spock's expression was as cool as ever.  "The captain proved to be a
very responsive student.  His progress in learning the Vulcan language
is impressive."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock.  I had an excellent teacher."  Jim bestowed
another smile on Spock.

Spock gazed steadily at Jim without any perceptible change in
expression, but since he'd finished his lunch, he stood up.  "If you
will excuse me, Captain, Doctor, I will return to duty."

"So you're going to abandon me to the doctor's questions, Spock?  Some
friend you are."  But Jim was still smiling.  "I'll see you later.
Did you want to work out this evening?"

"I will meet you in the gym at 1800 hours, Captain."  I watched Jim
watch Spock walk away.

Jim turned back to me, and met my eyes.  "Okay, let's have it.  Is
there  something about my behavior that is causing you concern?  Some
command  performance issues?"

"Hell, no, Jim.  Not that there's much to measure right now.  This has
been a fairly uneventful week. But that must have been some shore
leave.  You're still walking around looking like a kid who's just come
from the circus."

Jim chewed and swallowed the last section of his orange.  "C'mon,
Bones.  Do you really have a problem with my being happy?"

"Yeah, that's what Spock said.  He reminded me that when you're happy,
the whole crew seems happier.  He suggested that I shouldn't look too
hard to find the cause of your happiness.  Just accept it."

He glanced back at the door, but Spock had already disappeared.  "My
first officer is a wise man.  You should listen to him."

"Well, I would if he'd tell me anything.  He's as close-mouthed as an
Aldebaran shellmouth."

"Why shouldn't I be happy?  I've got everything that I've ever wanted
in my life.  A ship that I love.  A great set of officers and crew.
I'm young and healthy.  My life has a purpose."

I wondered why I couldn't leave well enough alone, but the 'something'
Spock had referred to in our discussion last week filled me with
curiosity.  "Well, you had all of that before, but you weren't exactly
'walking on air' appreciating it."

Jim looked me in the eye, and his expression was serious.  "I told
Spock that maybe it took being alone and almost dying to make me
appreciate what I had.  And maybe I needed to catch up on my sleep.
And relax and play.  I know I've come back a happier person.  Maybe it
won't last.  Maybe I'll let the hard work and hard choices grind me
back into a tired, bitter person.  I hope not.  I hope Spock won't let
me."

"Spock?"

He rubbed his lower lip.  "And you.  I need my friends to keep me
sane."

I took a sip of my coffee, noting that he had a glass of water instead
of his own midday coffee.  "Yeah, well, he seems to be exercising most
of the influence over you right now."

"As long as his influence is positive, you don't have a problem with
it, do you?  You're not jealous of my friendship with Spock."  He
studied my face.

I shook my head, a little ashamed of myself.  I did sound jealous that
he was spending so much time with Spock.  "I'm not Gary Mitchell,
remember?  I've known you longer, but Spock touches you places I can't
reach.  No, I like Spock even if we don't agree on everything.  I
think you need both of us."

"I do, Bones.  Don't ever doubt that."

I reached out to lay a hand on Jim's arm.  "But next shore leave, I'm
going to take you to a place where you won't be thinking about
sandcastles or chess.  I told you about the women waiting tables at
that new place on Starbase 17, didn't I?  Well, I can think of one of
them that would fill your prescription perfectly!"

He looked down at the table.  "Well, it's a long time until our next
shore leave.  You don't need to write any prescriptions for awhile."

I realized that I'd said something that had made him uncomfortable, so
I  decided to change the subject.  "So are you including cartwheels in
your  exercise routine with Spock?"

His smile returned.  " I just felt like doing one when we were walking
on the beach.  Spock was intrigued by it, so I taught him, and I
showed him some of the other gymnastic routines that I used to do when
I was a kid.  He said that they were similar to some Vulcan martial
arts, so we worked on some of that.  We'll probably continue because
it could come in handy some day."

I frowned into my coffee cup.  "Or you could try to keep yourself out
of  situations calling for hand-to-hand combat."

"Yeah, Spock and I talked about that, too.  He's struggling with
accepting me as I am.  He's tough on me in our workouts, so that I'll
be better prepared for those situations that you and he don't like.
He practically beats the hell out of me every time, and I've got the
bruises to prove it."

Jim put his plate back onto his tray.  "I'm still a better swimmer
than he is.  I'd forgotten how much fun it is to swim in an ocean.
Spock didn't really enjoy it, but I swam every day for a couple of
hours.  Spock was talking about simulating a sunset, but I'd love it
if he could simulate an ocean for me.  Somehow the pool in the gym
doesn't live up to the experience."

Jim's eyes were shining, and I wondered if Spock was right.  Maybe his
happiness related to a very satisfying shore leave, and he'd shared it
with Spock.  Maybe I was a little jealous of their close friendship. 

Jim stood up.  "I have to get back to work, Bones.  It was good to see
you."

"How 'bout dinner, Jim?  We really haven't had much time to talk."

I saw him hesitate before he said, "Tomorrow night, okay?  I'll see if
Spock will join us."

I frowned.  Sure, I liked Spock, but I had been thinking of just Jim
and me, but it would've seemed strange if I'd insisted on it. "Okay,
tomorrow in my quarters at 1930.  You can bring Spock, if you want,
but I would appreciate some private time with you, at some point."

"Spock and I need to tell you something first."

My frown deepened, but he was already walking away.  Damn, I knew
something was up with Jim and Spock but I couldn't imagine what.   I
watched Jim walk out of the mess hall.

---

I went down with a thud, the wind knocked out of me for a moment.  He
had my arms pinned over my head, and I couldn't speak for a moment.
It occurred to me that my reaction to getting pinned by my opponent
wasn't completely appropriate, but I couldn't help smiling at having
him so close to me.

"Have I damaged you, Captain?"  His dark eyes were full of concern.
We were working out in the gym, and he'd tried an advanced move.
Unfortunately, I wasn't as far along in my mastery as he'd thought.

I think he realized at the same moment as I did why this position felt
familiar.  We had ended up like this more than once in our workouts on
the beach.  But on shore leave, Spock had taken advantage of his
superior position by pulling off my shorts and making love to me.  The
first time he did it, he apologized profusely afterwards for forcing
himself on me, but I'd laughed and shown him how much I'd enjoyed it.
And repeating the act several times over the next few days only seemed
to increase our enjoyment.

"I'm fine, Spock, except that I wish that I had sand under my back
instead of this mat."  I winced and sat up.  "For more than one
reason."  I'd had to sit up and move away from him.  The impulse to
pull his head down for a kiss had been hard to resist.

"Would you like to try that move again?"  We'd been working out for
over an hour, but I frequently insisted on trying new moves until I'd
mastered them.

"No, I think I blew that one because I'm getting a little tired."   I
grinned as I stood up.  "How about taking a break for dinner?  Maybe
we can try it again in my quarters after."

He stood up, too.  "I don't believe that we would have enough space in
your quarters to try that sequence.  Perhaps if we found a way to move
your desk - "  I saw it register that I was teasing him, and then I
saw the slight change in expression that told me he had decided to
tease me back.  "Perhaps we could start from the moment at which I
succeeded in throwing you on the ground?"

I laughed softly, and switched to Vulcan.  "I will await thee at that
appointed place."  It was a shocking misuse of Vulcan ritual words,
but I thought that he would be amused.

"I fear that you are greedy, my t'hy'la."  A faint smile appeared in
his  eyes.  It was perhaps a violation of our agreement to be discreet
that we were having such a conversation in a public place, but few
aboard knew enough Vulcan to understand our words.  And, of course,
touching each other during our workout didn't violate our agreement.

---

I walked past them on the way to meet a fencing partner in the
opposite  corner of the gym.  I tried to keep my eyes averted, but I
found it  impossible to ignore the way that my captain's face was lit
up, looking at his first officer.  I remembered the twinkle in Nyota
Uhura's eyes when she'd tried to start a conversation about their
shore leave, but I'd told her that it was unseemly to gossip about our
senior officers.

The captain looked up and met my eye.  "Hey, Hikaru, sorry I had to
cancel my fencing lesson.  I've been pretty busy since we got back
from shore leave.  If I'm forgiven, can we talk later about
rescheduling?"

"Of course, Captain.  Just let me know what works for you, sir."  I
caught myself wondering just what had been keeping him so very busy.   

It had always been clear to me that Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock shared
a close friendship, something fairly unusual between a human and a
Vulcan, but I'd never before thought that there could be more going on
between them.  The captain was too famously heterosexual.  And Mr.
Spock - well, he's a Vulcan.  I had no intention of mentioning this to
Nyota.  Besides, there was nothing to mention.  They were standing at
least a meter apart.  The fact that they chose to speak in Vulcan
didn't mean anything.   ---

"How do you say in Vulcan, 'I want you to fuck me'?"  His tone was
playful, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow under his head.

We were on Jim's bed.  I had been rubbing his neck and shoulders, and
was starting to move my hands down his back.  I had been talking to
him in Vulcan, soothing words, like a bedtime story to a child.  My
intention had been to relieve some of the muscular pain that I had
inflicted on him during our workout.  I had not been thinking sexual
thoughts.

"I believe that when humans use the word 'fuck' it means something
slightly different than to 'make love.'  It relates mainly to animal
passion rather than a sharing of pleasure."  My hands did not pause in
their gentle massage of his back.   I felt a ripple of laughter shiver
through the body under my hands.  "I guess you told me, didn't you?"
An element of surprise allowed him to sit up, dumping me off.   "You
have had enough of my massage?"  It was my turn to sprawl under his
body.  His hands were less practiced as he caressed my shoulders and
my  chest, but I welcomed his touch.

"It was wonderful, but it's time for me to reciprocate."  He leaned
forward to kiss my mouth, my eyebrow, my temple.  I captured him by
the back of his neck, and pulled him forward to recline full-length on
top of me.  After a kiss, he said, "Besides, it was driving me crazy
that your cock was right up against my ass, and you still refuse to
put it in." 

I pulled his mouth down for a long, slow kiss, and simultaneously, I
pushed his legs apart, and inserted a finger inside of him.  I palmed
his testicles, and probed deep until I encountered his prostate gland.
Using identical rhythms, I 'fucked' his mouth with my tongue and his
ass with my finger. Our erections rubbed together, trapped between our
bellies.  I waited for him to climax before I gave in to the
sensation, and I orgasmed shortly after he did.

He rolled onto his side, and I spooned myself against him, kissing the
nape of his neck.  He was laughing as he said, "You are one hell of an
incredible lay."

"I was correct?  You wish only to indulge your animal passions with
me?"  My tone was teasing as I slid my arms around him to caress his
chest and his belly.

"Animal, mineral, or vegetable.  I'll indulge any passions you care
to,  t'hy'la."  He turned his head slightly to kiss my mouth again.
"God, I love you."

"We have never discussed our respective beliefs in deities.  I have
never though of you as a religious person."  Fleetingly, I wondered if
he would someday grow annoyed with my avoidance of an answer when he
told me that he loved me - I had understood that Terrans crave such
proofs of devotion - but today was not that day.

He rolled over to face me.  "Speaking of God, I just figured out that
it was your Catholic upbringing that keeps you from agreeing to have
intercourse with me.  You're saving it for marriage, aren't you?"

I recognized laughter in his eyes as he made this odd statement.  "I
was not raised Catholic.  Vulcans do not - "

"I was just kidding."  He dropped an additional kiss on my mouth
before he rolled out of bed.  "I need to hit the shower before our
dinner with Bones."

"Agreed."  I remained reclining, watching him.  He ran a hand along my
leg, and squeezed my foot before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Later, as we stood together outside the door to McCoy's cabin, I had a
sudden thought.  "I am puzzled by your apparent eagerness to have me
penetrate you.  You have not once suggested the reverse."

His eyes widened and a blush crept across his face, but he was
prevented from answering when McCoy's door slid open.

---

I looked up from the table to greet my guests.  Spock, the consummate
first officer, inclined his head slightly to invite Jim to proceed him
into my quarters.  As usual, Spock's manner was coolly professional.

Jim, on the other hand, glowed with well being.  His hair was still
damp from a shower, and he smelled vaguely like new mown hay.  I asked
him once what scent he used, and he'd denied using any.  Maybe it was
the natural scent of an Iowa farm boy.   But it was the way he moved
that really struck me.  His stride was lazy,  contented.  Hell, he
looked like he'd just gotten laid.  I'd been with him on enough shore
leaves to know that look; he oozed sexuality.  I remembered why he was
the one who turned heads in every bar and brothel that we walked into
- and out of - together.  It was a bonus in our friendship that I
always got more aroused when he was in the next room with a woman.

Jim offered me a bottle.  "I know it's a shocking breach of etiquette
to  bring wine to dinner and make the host feel obligated to serve it.
And  considering I don't know what you planned for dinner, I don't
even know if this will go with it."

I accepted the bottle from him, and let out a low whistle.  It was a
rather pricey bottle of champagne from Schramsberg Cellars just
outside of San Francisco.   "Well, I'm just serving ship's fare -
sorry to disappoint you, Jim-boy.  And I'd say this should go with
just about anythin'."

The food was nothing special, and I felt a little guilty.  It hadn't
been that long since we'd been on the starbase, and I could've gotten
some fresh food for the occasion, but, heck, I hadn't known it was an
occasion until Jim showed up with the champagne.  Luckily, I'd put out
my good china, flatware, and crystal.  My mother came from a long line
of Stewarts, and she always told me that an attractive table was as
important as the food in the serving dishes.

Jim ran his eyes over the table, and said, "It looks great. Bones."

I fetched the champagne glasses.  I hesitated before I picked up a
third, but I had a strange feeling that our normally abstemious Vulcan
was going to join in our toast tonight.

"Wanna open the champagne, Jim?"  I gestured to the table.  "Sit,
Spock, make yourself at home."

There's something about the sound of a champagne cork popping that
gladdens the heart.  Jim filled my glass first, and Spock held out
both of their glasses to be filled.

"Sorry I don't have an ice bucket."  I was watching their eyes linger
on each other, and I had to say something to remind them that I was in
the room.

Jim's eyes swung back to me.  "That's okay.  We'll drink it before it
gets too warm."  He took his seat at the table.

"So what are we toasting?"  I glanced from Jim to Spock.

Spock's eyes sought Jim's, looking for guidance.  I'd seen him do it a
hundred times in a department head meeting or on a landing party, but
this seemed different.

Jim's response was his usual know it all grin.  "To friendship."

"Friendship."  Spock and I said it in unison before we sipped the
effervescent wine.

"Good stuff.  Where'd you find it?"

This time Jim looked at Spock, and the Vulcan answered my question.
"I was able to obtain a case from a trader several months ago."

I snorted.  "You, Spock?  I didn't expect you to be a champagne
connoisseur."

"It is a recently acquired taste."

Jim definitely blushed.  Well, was it time for me to ask what was
going on or should I wait until after dinner?  The signs were
unmistakable, but I still couldn't quite believe it.  I wanted to
watch them some more before I asked them anything.

As I passed around the serving dishes, I started to talk about the
women that I'd encountered on my last shore leave.  Spock said
something sarcastic about my tendency to over-indulge myself on shore
leave so that I came back more exhausted than when I'd left.
Something made me bite my tongue on a response to the effect that Jim
had the same tendency.

We exchanged reminisces about other shore leaves.  I had forgotten
that it wasn't really that unusual for Jim to spend shore leave with
Spock.   Backpacking wasn't my cup of tea, but it was something they
obviously enjoyed together.

"You didn't exactly rough it this time, did you?"  I had polished off
two glasses of champagne and had just poured myself my second bourbon.

Jim's eyes lit up.  "No, the beach house was pretty luxurious.
Comfortable bed, plenty of hot water in the shower, and every
convenience in the kitchen."

Bed?  Shower?  I knocked back my bourbon before I said, "Including a
refrigerator to keep the champagne cold?"

Jim looked puzzled.  "Well, yes, of course, there was a refrigerator."

Jim shook his head when I tilted the bottle towards him.  He was still
working on his second glass of champagne.  I poured myself another
bourbon.  "So who was plying who with champagne?"

"What?"  Jim almost dropped his glass.    I leaned back in my chair,
and fixed my gaze on his, forgetting for a moment that Spock was
sitting right there.  "Well, you're always looking for the next exotic
experience, so I thought maybe you decided to look a little closer to
home.  Innocence can be pretty seductive, can't it?  After all,
considering what I've seen you run though on some of our shore leaves,
I figure you must be getting a little jaded by now."

Dead silence.  Jim opened his mouth, but no sound came out.  I saw him
start to stand up - maybe he was going to walk out or maybe come
around the table to deck me - but then he sat down again.  Feeling
suddenly foolish, I tried to look like I was interested in something
on my plate. 

Spock put down his fork with a clank.  He probably finished chewing
his food the prescribed sixty-five times that everybody's mother
always recommends.  Anyway, it seemed like several minutes had passed
before his low voice cut into the silence.  "Are you suggesting,
Doctor, that anything occurred between the captain and myself that was
not mutually consensual?"

"Well, what I meant was - "  I wanted to crawl under the table, but I
felt like I was pinned to my seat by his dark eyes.

"It was I who suggested myself to him as a lover, and we both
considered  carefully before we - "

Apparently Jim finally recovered from his shock.  "Spock, you don't
have to - "

"Jim.  T'hy'la."  Spock's eyes swung to Jim and his voice held a
tenderness that I'd never before heard from him.  "We agreed that we
would tell the doctor.  It is only logical that we answer any concerns
that he may have."

Jim returned Spock's gaze, and his was the look of a man who had
fallen  inexplicably, irrevocably, and helplessly in love.

Spock returned his cool expression to me.  "Please satisfy my
curiosity.  Why would you assume that the change in our relationship
would not be mutually desired?"

It was my turn to blush, but something about Spock's matter-of-fact
tone set me at ease.  "I guess I just didn't think that you would be
all that  interested in that sort of thing.  And Jim's the one who's
walking around looking so satisfied."

Spock delicately lifted an eyebrow at me.  "And just what outward sign
of happiness would you expect to see?  Perhaps you will accept my word
that I have never been more content in my life."

I heard Jim's sharp intake of breath, and I saw him look down at the
table, before he looked back up at me with a sunny smile.  "Satisfied,
Bones?" 

I looked from Jim to Spock.  "Listen, I'm sorry.  It was a stupid
thing for me to say."

Jim glanced at Spock, apparently received some sign that I couldn't
read, and waved a dismissive hand at me.  "Forget it.  I know it's
kind of a shock.  And like Spock said, we're both too happy to really
care what anybody else thinks, but we thought that you should know."

I looked down into my half-empty glass of bourbon.  "Well, I
appreciate that you guys told me."  As I busied myself clearing off
the plates, I looked at Jim.  "Does this mean that you won't be
interested in going on shore leave with me next time?"

Another glance at Spock, and another smile for me.  "Probably not.  At
least, not the sort of shore leaves we've gone on in the past.  I hope
you understand."

"As a matter of fact, Jim, that's fine by me.  I didn't really need
the  competition anyway.

---

We did not speak as we left McCoy's quarters, but when we had walked a
few  paces, he said, "Maybe I'll take a turn up on the bridge to see
if everything  is under control."

"Perhaps, I will go down to the science lab.  There is an experiment
that I am most anxious to complete."

However, we were still side by side when we reached the door to his
cabin. "Coming in?"

"If you wish."

"I do wish."  He keyed the privacy lock behind us, and stepped into my
arms.  "Spock."  I savored the feel of my name on his lips, and I
molded his body against mine.

"Did you mean what you said?"  His mouth was against the side of my
neck.  "That you've never been more content in your life?"

I stroked my hands down his back, and felt a shiver of pleasure course
through him.  "No, I said that only to see how the doctor would
react."

He laughed and gently nipped at my collarbone. "Liar."

I lifted his tunic to caress the naked skin on his back.  "Have you
ever  considered the inefficiency of asking a question for which you
already know the answer?"

"I wanted to hear you say it again."

I tipped up his chin in order to access his mouth more easily for a
kiss.  "I have never been more content in my life."

Another laugh.  "Nor have I."

Later, he was sprawled on his back while I reclined on my side against
him.  "Spock, how do you feel about what McCoy said?"

"Feel, Captain?  Vulcans do not - "

"Have I ever mentioned that I hate it when you call me Captain when
we're in bed together?  And how much I hate it when you deny that you
feel anything when we're in bed together?"  However, there was no
annoyance in his tone, and he was smiling as he leisurely stroked his
hand down my arm.  "You feel so good and warm."

"I must confess that I feel some disquiet at the thought - "

He sat up and stared at me.  "You don't like the idea of me with all
those women, do you?"

"Not all at once.  Or one at a time.  No.  It is not logical, but I
fear -"  I found that I could not meet his eyes.

"Jealousy is illogical, isn't it?"  He let out his breath slowly.
"C'mon, don't you know that I'm done with all of that?"

"All of that?"

"I promise you - "

I put my fingers to his lips.  "Do not make me any promises.  It was
you who said that we should allow the future to take care of itself.
Be my friend.  Be my lover."

I saw emotions warring in his beautiful eyes.  "What if I want more?"

"Someday."  I held out my arms to him, and he embraced me with a sound
that was half a sob and half a laugh.

It was not long before he slept, but I found that sleep was not
possible for me that night.

---

The End