The BLTS Archive- Metamorphosis
by Invicta (invicta11@yahoo.com)

---

Timing: One week after the DS9 7th season finale.

Disclaimer: Star Trek DS9 and the Star Trek characters are owned by
Paramount Pictures. All rights are reserved and no infringement is
meant.

Archiving: Sure, as long as the full header and disclaimer is
included.

This story is Copyright (c) Invicta, September 2000. Feedback is most
welcome.

Many, many thanks to Melissa for her quick and really helpful beta of
this story. You did great, Melissa.

This story previously appeared in the first issue of the FCanon zine.

---

Dr. Bashir had returned to DS9 from war-torn Cardassia a few days ago.
Although he made every effort to settle back into a normal routine, it
seemed as if a big part of himself was still back on that planet. He
wouldn't ever forget it. His days there had been a litany of
frustration; seeing the horrific damage done to Cardassia and it's
people, but unable to do much about it and feeling so helpless. Their
planet was in ruins and the Cardassians themselves almost without
hope. Julian had badly wanted to stay on and assist the overworked
Cardassian doctors, but he had been forced to sail away on the Defiant
and leave them to it. Their fleet's withdrawal orders had been quite
clear; if only the same could be said for the logic behind them.

While stationed on Cardassia, Julian had expressed optimistic views
about the prospects of people rebuilding their homes and lives. But
this had been nothing but a charade, acted out for Garak's benefit. It
had failed, for Garak was convinced that things would only get worse.
During one particularly chilling conversation with Bashir, he had
calmly predicted that certain events would take place within the next
three months. The list had begun with mass murder, widespread looting
and multiple outbreaks of fatal diseases, and ended with civil war,
anarchy and the total breakdown of Cardassian society. Julian had been
so distressed by Garak's prophecies that he had not been able to sleep
that night.

The following day, Julian had tried to convince himself that Garak was
too negative in his assessment of Cardassia's future, but secretly he
feared that his tailor friend was right. Those few Cardassians who'd
made it through the war had lost everything. They would probably now
be so desperate to protect themselves that they would do anything at
all to survive. In his head, Bashir was screaming all the time at the
injustice of it all. Cardassia was virtually a dead world already, and
the people there had paid the ultimate price for the rash decisions of
their leaders. They deserved better than the mean hand which fate had
dealt them.

On the fifth day after his return to DS9, Julian was especially
troubled. The Federation news service was broadcasting reports that
violence and looting was on the increase all over Cardassia. That
night in bed he tossed and turned, worried sick about the situation,
especially about Garak. Julian knew that his friend could look after
himself well enough as a rule, but right now Cardassia was an
exceptionally dangerous planet to be living on. Eventually Bashir fell
asleep, only to be plagued by nightmares where Cardassians with
hideous wounds begged him to save them. In the dream, his medical
equipment was all missing. He frantically tried to find it but was
unable to, so he'd had to watch the Cardassians die one by one.

When he woke up, Julian was trembling, his throat was dry and he felt
nauseous. The familiar stars in the window reassured him that this had
just been a nightmare, but the sickening effect of it was difficult to
shake off.

"My my, you *are* in a state, aren't you?" a man's amused voice said.

Julian physically jumped and gasped with shock. "Computer, lights!"
When the lights came on, he saw that there was a man sitting in what
Julian always thought of as Sloan's chair. Bashir recognised him, of
course. Which Starfleet officer worth his pips didn't know... "Q!"

"The very same," Q replied grandly. "As for this chair, I'm sure dear
old Sloanie wouldn't have minded if I borrowed it for once. And yes, I
can read your thoughts, before you ask."

"This is quite a surprise, Q. I thought you only visited Starfleet
Captains," Julian commented mildly as he recovered his composure.

Q frowned. "I hope you're not accusing me of being gradeist. I have a
preference for interesting people, that's all. So often, those in the
lower ranks are dull and lack sufficient wit or intellect to make a
worthwhile companion. That's why those people *are* in the lower
ranks, I'd say. You might, just might, be an exception to that rule.
We have a lot to talk about, so why don't you get dressed?"

"No, I'd prefer to--"

Impatiently, Q snapped his fingers. Julian's pyjamas were instantly
replaced by his uniform, and he found himself moved from his bed to an
extra chair which had materialised from nowhere.

"But then again, perhaps now *is* a good time to put some clothes on,"
Julian said dryly.

Q chuckled. "Smart boy. Now, I know you'll be wondering why I'm here
so I'll get right to the point. I stopped by Cardassia a week ago and
happened to notice you there. You interested me. Many of the other
Starfleet officers on the scene were feigning sympathy for those
people, while secretly feeling that the 'Cardies' had got exactly what
they deserved. You, on the other hand, were sincerely sorry for the
destruction that you saw around you, and completely incensed about how
much the Cardassians had suffered. I started to look more closely at
you then; I usually get curious about those who don't follow the
herd."

Julian nodded emphatically. "To say I felt incensed about Cardassia is
a vast understatement. Eight hundred million Cardassian people died,
Q. Those who survived often lost their homes, jobs, friends and
families. I know that thousands of other lives were lost during the
war, every species involved in it took heavy casualties, but the
Cardassians had it worst of all. It wasn't right. It wasn't *right*,
Q."

Q smiled in a superior way which annoyed Julian immensely. "Right or
wrong doesn't come into it. It's simply the nature of existence, for
mortals like you that is."

"Well, it damn well shouldn't be," Julian said savagely. "The
Cardassians deserved a second chance. Nobody should be punished that
much, regardless of their mistakes."

Q glanced at him speculatively. "Their main mistake being the decision
to join the Dominion, instead of working with the Federation against
the Dominion, of course. I rather thought you might see it that way.
In fact, that's just why I'm here. What would you say if I made it
possible for the Cardassians to get that second chance - for a price,
of course..."

Julian looked confused. "Why would you do that? I know that a Q can
accomplish anything, but I thought you weren't suppose to actively
interfere in people's lives to such a degree."

Q waved a hand dismissively. "My dear Julian, don't be concerned about
that! I break the rules when and how I choose, and right now I'm
choosing to break them for you. Although of course, you may not be
comfortable with my required form of payment..."

Julian started to feel just a little bit optimistic. If Q was really
willing to help the Cardassians... "I'd pay whatever you wanted, of
course, but I can't think of anything that I possess which would be of
interest to a Q."

"Well, there is this one little area where I could use some assistance
from you - sex. I want you to make love to me, Julian."

Julian chuckled. "You're joking, right?"

"No."

"*No?* Q, I think this is some kind of mistake."

"Not at all, dear boy. I need someone to teach me how to have
Human-style sex properly. Think of it as a hands on training session
if you want to," Q smirked.

Julian frankly gawped. "Sex? But Q, aren't you omniscient? I couldn't
possibly tell you anything that you don't already know."

Q sighed. "You'd think that, wouldn't you? But my previous
interactions with mortals have taught me that there is a vast
difference between knowing and, well, *knowing*. A textbook knowledge
of sexual procedures isn't enough. I need to experience sex, to live
it. You, Julian Bashir, will be my practice run. If I make any
mistakes with you then it won't matter."

Julian looked Q over intently. The other man seemed to be completely
serious. His proposal was a shock, but still Julian did not reject it
immediately. The Human body which Q currently inhabited was a handsome
one; it would hardly be an ordeal to sleep with him. And if doing so
would prevent millions of deaths, then there was little or no reason
to refuse. But Bashir knew from Starfleet records that Q could be both
untruthful and temperamental, and that he did not always deliver on
his promises. He was afraid that Q would let him down after they had
made love, perhaps complain that Julian hadn't been a good enough
teacher and then simply refuse to help Cardassia after all.

Q picked up on his thoughts. "You're probably right to be suspicious
of me, Doctor. I always have a secret or two up my sleeve. But I
assure you, this offer is a genuine one. You keep your part of the
bargain and I'll keep mine."

Julian still seemed doubtful." You want to have sex with me to learn
how Humans copulate, is that right?"

"Yes. Your job will be to make sure that I'm fully prepared for the
big night."

"What big night?" Julian asked curiously.

"My first night in bed with Jean-Luc Picard, of course!"

Julian looked stunned. "You and Captain Picard are... dating?"

"Of course we are! Why do you think I keep visiting the Enterprise?
There's certainly nobody else there who's interesting enough to pass
the time of day with. Most of his crew are less entertaining than the
average slug."

Julian grinned. "But Q, why do you need my help at all? If you are in
a relationship with Captain Picard, wouldn't it be best for you to do
all this with him? Not that I want to lose this second chance you're
promising, but we Humans do value fidelity, you know."

Q groaned. "Oh, puh-lease! You think Jean-Luc hasn't dipped his big
old warp engine into the odd unstable wormhole every now and again?
When he and I are lovers and everything settles down, I won't look at
anyone else. But before that happens, in order for that to happen, I
need to be ready for him. Which means that you need to get me ready.
Understood?"

"Yes, but--"

"But what?" Q said wearily.

"I can't help but think that Captain Picard would be most
understanding of any... awkwardness... which took place during your
first time together." Bashir hoped that he would not have to speak
more plainly. He felt most uncomfortable even contemplating the idea
of Captain Picard - surely the most formal and intimidating Starfleet
officer he'd ever met - actually in bed and having sex with Q.

Still keeping aware of his thoughts, Q laughed wickedly. "You're
imagining us doing it, aren't you? Does it turn you on, Julian? Hmm, I
rather think it does. Perhaps Jean-Luc and I might even make it into
your extensive catalogue of masturbatory fantasies now. Maybe you'll
think of us the next time you shower... if not before."

Bashir was unable to prevent himself from blushing. "I'd very much
appreciate it if you'd stop prying into my mind and address the point
that I just made, Q," he said forcefully.

Q rolled his eyes. "Very well. I just don't want there to be any
awkwardness when I'm with Picard, Doctor. I am an omnipotent being, so
naturally he has very high expectations of me in all areas of life.
Picard assumes that I am as accomplished at sex as he is. If he finds
out that I'm not then everything could go wrong, and he might send me
away for good. Do you want me to remain a virgin for the rest of
eternity?" Q growled.

"Oh!"

"Is that an abbreviated 'Oh! Q, I yearn to make love to you and have
your babies!', or perhaps 'Oh! Q, I wouldn't sleep with you if you
were the last man in the alpha quadrant!', I wonder?"

"It's actually an Oh! Q, I'm very surprised by the fact that you're a
virgin," Bashir said hesitantly.

Q glared at him. "Don't get so smug about it, Bashir. You're hardly
life's greatest romantic hero yourself. I'm a virgin in my Human form
and that's all. I've done it Q style many times before. I've even
fathered another Q, as it happens. Now, are you going to do this with
me or not?"

Julian frowned. He wanted to say yes, but his conscience was bothering
him. He really felt that Q was making a mistake by thinking that
having sex with another man was a good idea. "No. I think you should
go to Captain Picard and tell him the truth instead," Julian said
gently. "If he cares for you, it wouldn't make one iota of difference
to him. In fact, I suspect he'd be honoured to assume the role of your
teacher himself."

"That's not an option," Q insisted harshly. "I've made my mind up, so
don't keep questioning me! Either you train me or someone else does."

Julian accepted then that Q would not change his mind. "Even if I
accept this deal of yours, you do realise that I couldn't possibly
teach you everything? Only Captain Picard can do that. We all have our
own preferences and aversions when it comes to matters sexual. He has
to be the one to show you what pleases him and what doesn't. I can't
do that, because everybody's different."

Q thought about this for a moment. "I accept that. But you could
demonstrate the odd technique or two, surely? 'Great cocksucking
triumphs' or 'rimming for experts', that sort of thing?"

Julian winced. "That sort of thing. So, just to clarify... you really
mean that if I sleep with you just once, then you'll put everything
right?"

"Most certainly not. What a foolish idea!" Q said scornfully.

Julian stared at him. "Then what *do* you mean?"

"What I'm offering you, my boy, is the chance to play Q. I'm not sure
how many times I'll let you do it; that depends on how good a teacher
you are in bed. Maybe I'll charge a flat rate - one play per orgasm
should cover it!"

Julian repressed a smile. "And playing Q involves...?"

"Tweaking."

"*Tweaking*?"

"Yes. Tweaking the timelines so that you redirect the ebb and flow of
history. You will make changes to events which have happened, are
happening or will happen, then stand back and look to see how your
actions affect the shape of the universe."

"So I could stop the Dominion war from ever taking place with just one
tweak?" Julian said delightedly.

"Not necessarily. You're confusing cause and effect."

"I don't understand."

"Well then, let me explain it to you in simple terms which are within
the scope of your puny little intellect," Q said impatiently. "Let's
say a man is brought to your infirmary with a leg injury so severe
that the limb might need to be amputated. As you're about to commence
treatment, the patient's wife rushes in and begs you to do everything
you can to save her husband's leg."

"Right, so that means... oh, I see! The wife asks for the effect,
which is to successfully preserve the man's leg. It would then be for
me to select and apply the appropriate cause or causes which will
produce that effect, i.e. to use the correct medical treatments on the
injuries."

"Exactly. And the very same principle applies with tweaking."

"But Q, surely the wife didn't care what the cause was? She just asked
for the desired effect - that's all she was interested in."

Q smiled patronisingly. "You think so? Doctor, you're losing track of
the argument, *again*. When the wife made her request, she
automatically assumed that you would select the cause wisely, by using
a conventional medical treatment. That went unsaid, but she still
would have immediately challenged any action on your part which didn't
fit with her assumption. For example, would the wife have been
satisfied if you had saved the leg as she requested, but then attached
it to someone else's body?"

"No, of course not."

"Then don't claim that she wasn't concerned about the cause."

"Point taken, but I still don't see why I couldn't ask you for the
effect I wanted rather than the cause, and then leave you to choose
that cause, just as the wife did in your example?"

Q smiled maliciously. "Because if you did that, then I would have the
freedom to bring about your chosen effect using any cause at all. Do
you really trust me that much, Doctor? I wouldn't, if I were you...
Perhaps I might decide to go back in time and kill every member of the
Dominion, wiping them out before they ever had any contact with the
Alpha quadrant. That would stop the war, and save those poor
Cardassians... but would it make you happy?"

"No," Julian replied slowly. "No, it wouldn't. It would be wrong to
replace one form of annihilation with another. I understand what you
mean now, Q. Thank you for the explanation."

"You're so very welcome," Q replied, mimicking Julian's polite tone.
"Now, let's take the practical analysis one step further. You have to
decide what you really want, and then work out how you can get it. And
once your choices are made you must accept the consequences of them,
be they good or bad. Things may not work out as you planned, Julian -
I want to make that very clear from the start. The alterations which
you decide to implement may have terrible repercussions. You could end
up living in a universe where there is far greater suffering than you
have known or seen here. Are you really ready for that, Doctor?"

Julian ran one hand through his hair nervously. "So we're talking
about big adjustments here? Maybe the whole timeline of this quadrant,
I mean?"

"This quadrant, yes, and probably the others too. You're in the big
leagues now, Julian. In fact, you are way out of your depth. I don't
think you're up to this task. I doubt you've got what it takes to make
the hard decisions and live with them afterwards," Q taunted.

"Try me," Julian insisted angrily.

Q smiled enigmatically . "All right. Here's a hypothetical example,
just to see how you do with the theory of it. If you could choose to
prevent one person from dying, to reverse their fate and let them
live, anyone at all - who would it be?"

Julian didn't even hesitate. "Jadzia Dax."

Q nodded gravely. "Very well. Now, my genetically enhanced friend, try
to work out the implications of that one miniscule change for the
timeline which you currently inhabit."

Julian thought quickly. "Well, if Jadzia Dax didn't die then she would
presumably continue to live on DS9, and also to host the Dax symbiont.
Which means that, well... Ezri Tigan would not become Ezri Dax. At
least, not at that point in time. Perhaps never, since she and Jadzia
were virtually the same age."

"Not bad so far. What else?"

"I suppose that Worf would still be married to Jadzia Dax. They might
eventually have children, I know that Jadzia wanted them one day.
Those children obviously don't exist now. Whole new generations might
spring into life..." Julian paused, his mind excitedly focusing on the
possibilities.

"Anything more?" Q demanded impatiently.

"Uh-huh. I expect that Ezri Tigan would stay with her previous posting
and not transfer here. After all, she only came to DS9 as a result of
becoming a Dax. Hey, I would never have known Ezri..."

"Which would be bad?" Q said, with a touch of sarcasm in his voice so
light that Julian didn't even notice it.

"Oh, yes. Although I could possibly still meet her some time; Ezri is
Starfleet, after all. So it seems as if mostly good things would come
from keeping Jadzia Dax alive, don't you think?"

The look on Q's face told Bashir that he clearly didn't agree. "How am
I meant to work with such unpromising material?" Q barked.

Julian looked blank. "I don't understand."

"There isn't much that you do understand, is there, Bashir? It was a
very selective list of consequences that you gave me. Did you think I
wouldn't notice that you pushed forward the positive changes, while
mainly omitting the negative ones?"

"I didn't do that," Julian said in protest. "If anything is missed
out, it's because I honestly didn't think of it."

"That makes it even worse," Q replied sourly. "If you can't do this at
a microscopic level, how will you manage when the process is--"

"Q, I'm sorry if I went wrong," Julian interrupted, "but you haven't
yet told me what was missed off the list."

"Oh, just a few small things," Q said sarcastically. "For example, you
mentioned Jadzia and Worf's potential children. However, you took no
account of the children that you yourself might have had with Ezri, or
those that Worf might have fathered if he married again. And it gets
worse than that, Doctor. You remember the time when a Vulcan serial
killer was taking people out on DS9?"

"Yes, I do. Several people died before Ezri found the murderer... Oh!"

"Why, it's that pesky 'Oh!' again. Presumably this one is 'Oh! I've
been a stupid fool'. You said yourself that Ezri's transfer to DS9 was
linked to her becoming a Dax. If Ezri Dax had not been on this station
at that precise point in time, Science Officer Chu'lak would have
killed four more people before being caught. To save Jadzia's life,
the choice which you yourself described as "mostly good", then four
innocent people would have had to die. What about the children that
they might have had in the future - where were they in your
calculations, Doctor?"

"I didn't realise... it's all so complex," Julian said, sounding
despondent.

"Of course it is! All things and all beings are interconnected,
Doctor. Move one piece on the board out of its place and the
resonances can be felt right across the universe. Are you finally
starting to understand the sort of forces which are at work here?"

Julian nodded humbly. "And I suppose that these are only a few of the
consequences. Over the years there would be thousands more, not just
concerning Jadzia or Ezri themselves but also their descendents. In
fact, an infinite number of adjustments to history would be made
because one woman lived when fate originally intended for her to die."

Q was partially appeased by this. "Yes, I can see that now it's
starting to become clear to you. And remember, we've just considered
one person in isolation, Doctor. If you prevent the deaths of eight
hundred million Cardassians, the number of changes to the timeline
which that will bring is almost incalculable. Human mathematical
symbols do not go high enough to tabulate the number. Any other
actions that you take to manipulate history would probably have a
similar effect. And you, my dear young man, would be the only person
who remembered what life was like before. Everyone else would never
have lived in this current timeline; the amended version of it, Julian
Bashir's customised version, would be all that they had ever known."

"Why would I be treated differently from everyone else?" Julian asked
curiously.

"Because I want you to be," Q replied frankly. "That would be a
condition of the deal, and it's non negotiable so don't start arguing
with me about it. I'm quite a voyeur, Doctor. I always have been.  I
like watching people; it can be fun to see how an ordinary person like
you copes with an extraordinary situation. I want to find out how you
deal with the fallout from your own actions. I'm curious about that.
But anyway, I rather imagine you'd want to remember everything too. Am
I right?"

Julian looked scared. "I don't know what I'd want. Q, what if I made
bad choices and life was worse for everyone after the timeline had
been adjusted? We might all end up dead or enslaved. I'd be deciding
the destiny of countless souls, controlling their lives without their
knowledge, forcing some people to live and others to die... that's
terrifying."

"That's doing a Q's job," the entity corrected him gravely.

Julian looked horrified. "This isn't going to work, Q. In no way am I
qualified to make those decisions. I couldn't do it; I haven't the
right."

Q smiled maliciously. "I thought you might get cold feet when the
practicalities were pointed out to you."

"Yes, but I do want those Cardassians to live... isn't there another
way?"

Q rolled his eyes. "No, there is not. If you want to win big then you
have to risk big. And don't think I'd give you another change to
adjust the timeline if things went wrong the first time. That wouldn't
be playing the game, now would it?"

"Not even if my modifications hurt Captain Picard in some way?" Julian
asked quietly.

Q's eyes flickered with surprise, and Julian realised with
satisfaction that he had raised a point which the entity had not
anticipated.

"That would be the one exception," Q replied gruffly. "Now, I am weary
of these discussions so I tell you what I'll do. You can have one hour
to mull things over, then I will return to hear your decision. Don't
try and talk to anyone else about this, because I won't permit it;
your comm system is temporarily out of action and the doors are
locked. This has to be your own choice, you see. Use the hour well,
Julian. Consider this; how will you feel when you learn that someone
you know has died as a direct result of your own actions? Because that
will happen; it's a dead certainty, so to speak. Can you cope with
that, and with all of the other surprises that you'd encounter along
the way, many of which would definitely not be pleasant? Think about
it. Oh, and don't forget my price, dear boy; if you want to play Q,
you have to play *with* Q first!" With a cheery wave and a flash of
light, Q was gone.

---

Julian walked through to the living room of his quarters and curled up
on the sofa. He could never recall being presented with such a
tortuous dilemma before. He wanted to do the right thing but didn't
know what that was. It surely was a gross injustice for one person to
be allowed to freely alter the course of history as everyone knew it?
People had to make their own decisions and live their own lives. But
on the other hand, if he didn't consent to Q's plan then nothing would
change.

There was one thing that Julian was certain of; he would really like
to have the opportunity to fuck Q. It had been quite some time since
Bashir had been with another man; he'd missed that. It wouldn't even
be hard work. What concerned Julian was the morality, and also the
prudence, of 'tweaking'. Things seemed bad now but Julian was under no
illusions; they could be a lot worse.

It was gambling, pure and simple. Heads you win, tales you lose. Only
in this case he would not just be gambling his own safety and
prosperity, but that of the whole universe. Julian sighed to himself.
He could say no to Q, choose the safe option... but then every time he
spoke to Garak, the memory of what could have been for Cardassia would
stab at him. And the Cardassian dead would still haunt his dreams.

Eventually, after much agonised thought, Julian decided to accept Q's
deal. He spent the last quarter of his assigned hour deciding just how
he would change the timeline. By choosing wisely, he could at least
tip the odds of the gamble in his favour. By the time that Q returned,
Julian was ready.

---

Bashir stood up and faced Q. "I've thought it through and I'd like to
take you up on your offer."

Q smiled smugly, and Bashir realised that he'd expected to hear this
response. "Excellent, Julian! Now, I believe the usual opening moves
of the Human game of lurrrve go something like this; we enjoy a
romantic dinner together, stare long and hard into each other's eyes,
get all shy and embarrassed when we seem to say the wrong thing, trade
soppy looks, check out our partner's genitals when we think they're
not looking, give out compliments by the dozen and play footsie under
the table. Have I forgotten anything?"

Julian was uncomfortably aware of Q's amused gaze. The other man was
describing, step by step, several of his own first dates with previous
girlfriends. "It sounds like you can handle that part on your own," he
muttered. "Why don't we just focus on the more intimate elements of
Human sexuality?"

"That's fine with me. Oh, there's just one more thing before we
start..." Q snapped his fingers and Julian jumped, feeling as if he'd
been struck by a very mild electric shock.

"What did you do then?" Bashir asked, then stopped and stared at Q in
astonishment. He had spoken with someone else's voice!

"It's nothing, really," Q said carelessly. "I just thought it would be
better if you looked and sounded like Jean-Luc for a while, so that I
can really practice on you properly. Don't worry, I'll put you back in
your usual body afterwards."

Not a bit reassured, Julian ran into his bedroom. Looking in the
mirror, he saw an older man with a frightened face; Jean-Luc Picard's
face.

"Q, change me back to my own body right away," he roared.

Q instantly appeared at his side. "No, not until you make love to me,
Jean-Luc... I've waited so long to have you..."

The entity grabbed hold of Julian and pulled him close for a kiss. But
Julian immediately pulled away from him and slapped his face. "Who the
hell do you think you are! Don't you ever dare call me by his name,
you hear?"

Q stared at him, surprised by Bashir's sudden rage. "You're really
angry with me, aren't you? I don't understand why. It's only a
temporary body and name change... no big deal. I don't always operate
in this form, you know. And do you really think that all of the
continuum members are called Q? There *is* more than one letter in the
alphabet, you know."

"I don't give a damn what any of you people are called," Julian
hissed. "And if you don't know why I dislike this "temporary body and
name change" so much, then how can you possibly hope to understand the
real Jean-Luc Picard?"

Q hesitated. "I'm here to learn, Julian. Explain it to me, please."

"You called me Jean-Luc and put me inside his body without warning.
There was no discussion and certainly no consent on my part. I
consider that to be thoroughly unacceptable. I'm not him and I don't
want to be treated like him. It's not because this is Captain Picard's
body; I'd feel the same way about this whoever it was. For people like
me, names and bodies are an intrinsic part of our identity, and Q, I'm
rather fond of mine."

"But I promised I'd give you them back later..." Q whined.

"Yes, but I don't know if you're telling me the truth and frankly, I'm
not at all reassured by your promises. No, Q! I'm not willing to be
your fantasy substitute. That's what holosuite characters are there
for. Getting me mixed up with Captain Picard was a big mistake on your
part."

Q brooded for a moment. "I didn't really get you two mixed up. I just
wanted to pretend for a little while. You see, the real Jean-Luc
Picard is a very difficult man to get close to. If I ever stood next
to him like this, he would probably move away from me within a few
seconds. His personality is complex and often I misjudge him. He keeps
a lot of space between us, sometimes too much. I know he loves me, but
he's never said so."

"It sounds as if you're not sure about where your relationship with
Captain Picard is going," Julian commented gently.

"I know exactly where it's going, idiot!" Q snarled. "Look, if I
promise to call you Julian instead of Jean-Luc, will you please agree
to stay in his body for a while? That would be very helpful to me. You
could think of it as being surgically altered in preparation for an
important mission. Please, please, pretty please, pretty please with
chocolate sauce on top..." Q looked at him with appealing puppy-dog
eyes.

Julian wavered. Put that way, it didn't seem quite so bad. And Q had
*asked* him to keep on inhabiting Picard's form, not told him to. "All
right. But just until the sex is over with, OK?"

"You have my word on it," Q said. Then he smiled bewitchingly, snapped
his fingers and immediately they were both naked. "Where *shall* we
begin?" Q asked him lecherously.

Julian frowned at Q. "With you clicking your fingers again to put our
clothes back on," he decreed firmly.

"Awww, Julian! You're no fun at all."

"Just do it." Reluctantly, Q complied.

Relieved, Julian led Q to the sofa and pulled him down so that they
sat next to each other. "Lesson number one, Q. Don't hurry things too
much. As you spend more time with Captain Picard, there will probably
be occasions when he'll want you to click your fingers and take his
clothes away instantly, so that you can... well, you know." Julian
hated having to talk like this about a Starfleet Captain; it was so
embarrassing. "But that probably won't apply during the first time
that you both make love. You may not be nervous, but from what you've
told me he most certainly will be. So I would suggest proceeding
slowly, unless Captain Picard clearly indicates that he wants it
otherwise."

"Slowly, unless he says not. I understand.  For a moment, Q had to
remind himself that this man was not Jean-Luc. Julian Bashir made a
very convincing Picard. Q decided that this was probably because
Bashir was telling him what to do, something which he was well used to
from the real Picard!

"Good. You know, taking off one's clothes gradually can be a very
sensual process in itself - like unwrapping a special present. The
waiting and the sense of excited anticipation that this brings often
make you value the final revelation even more."

"If you say so," Q commented grumpily.

"I do. And I'm right too; you just wait and see. So, when you're sure
that he's ready, and *not* before, then it's time for some foreplay.
And before you ask, this is not a part of the process which can be
missed out, nor should it be rushed. Time your time, try various
techniques and pay attention to his reactions, both verbal and
non-verbal, as you do so. Now, a good start is to just kiss and hold
one another for a while. Let's try that now."

Julian took Q into his arms and kissed him, first softly and then with
more pressure. Q liked the feeling of the Human's lips against his. He
closed his eyes, lapping up the sensations of pleasure which those
sweet kisses were generating. Julian continued with the smooching for
a while, then alternated a series of hugs with soft caresses to Q's
upper body.

Suddenly, Julian stopped what he was doing and looked at Q nervously.
"Can I just ask you something? No offence, but are you, well...
normal? Anatomically normal, that is?"

"Quite normal, Julian," Q replied crisply. "This is a fully functional
Human body that I'm occupying. It's got everything that yours has, and
will do everything that yours does - except that it does it better.
*Much* better."

"Fine," Julian replied acerbically. "Then let's continue with the
foreplay and see if we can get you hard, shall we?"

---

Q and Bashir spent the next few hours excitedly trying out a variety
of sexual techniques and positions. Q had been instructed not to use
any of his powers during sex. This was partly because Bashir felt it
would help Q to understand what it felt like to be Human. He also
thought that while in bed, Picard would probably want Q to be with him
as an equal, at least at first. The only thing that Julian did permit
was for Q to boost their libidos and prevent them both from becoming
fatigued. This was so that their lovemaking lessons could continue for
as much time as Q felt he needed. Julian thus found himself
experiencing the longest and strangest sexual marathon of his life.

Eventually, Q declared that he'd had enough sex for one day. He was
surprised by how much he'd learned. Although Q had genuinely wanted
Bashir's help, he had secretly doubted that a mere Human could teach
an immortal anything of value. But he had underestimated Julian, who
had seemed always to be aware of Q's needs without them having to be
expressed in words. Bashir had been kind and helpful, but shown no
condescension or pity, both of which he would have hated. So Q had
found himself paying careful attention to the things that were shown
and done to him, and having a wonderful time in the process. He felt
strangely humbled by the whole experience. Q thought that he would
never forget the moment when he had applied the lessons he'd learned
to Bashir himself, and watched Julian joyfully cry out his name as he
climaxed.

However, once Q had returned Julian to his usual body and both men had
dressed once more, he immediately reverted to his most self-assured
and caustic persona.

"Human sex is very limited in scope, Doctor. Don't you get bored with
it after a while?"

"Not really," Julian replied with a faint smile. "We generally find
ways to keep ourselves interested. Variations on a theme, I suppose."

"Hmm. I suppose you have no choice but to make the best of it, since
it's all you have. But as I *was* bored, mind-numbingly so in fact, I
can only conclude that this was your fault. I seem to have had the
misfortune to be partnered with someone who has less sexual expertise
than the average monk."

Bashir held back a laugh. It was obvious to him that Q was frightened
by the level of intimacy which they had shared, and was using insults
as a way of regaining his normal feelings of superiority.

"Sorry I wasn't able to give satisfaction," Julian replied dryly.

"Oh, you did well enough, if only as an example of what *not* to do.
In spite of your abysmal efforts, I feel entirely ready to ravish
Jean-Luc. If he can think of anything afterwards but how superb I am
in bed, I would be greatly surprised!"

Julian smiled gently. "I'm sure he will see it your way, Q."

"If so, then it'll be the first time," Q muttered. "Anyway, you've
done as I asked, so I suppose I should reimburse you. Even though your
methods of ravishment are less exciting than watching a Klingon fart,
a promise is a promise. I'm going to allow you to make five tweaks to
the timeline. Have you decided what part of your history you want to
mutilate?"

"You mean improve?" Julian grinned. "I have indeed, although I only
want to make two, er, tweaks."

"Really? And I thought you'd milk this for all it was worth. Tell me
what you want me to alter for you."

Julian chose his words very carefully. "Firstly, I want you to
permanently close the wormhole that links Bajoran space with the Gamma
quadrant to all outside traffic. This should be done one year after
the Cardassians left Bajor and a Starfleet presence was assigned to
DS9. The Prophets must be free to come and go through the wormhole as
they wish, but nobody else must be allowed to use it. Please make it
look like the wormhole was closed by some kind of natural spatial
phenomenon; I think that would be safer. Also, nobody except the
Prophets should be inside the wormhole when it's sealed off; all
vessels and crew should be returned to their point of origin
beforehand. I'd hate it if anyone ended up trapped in the wrong
quadrant. And finally, please make sure that the Prophets can't break
the wormhole seal themselves."

"Understood," Q replied neutrally. "And tweak number two is?"

"I want to ensure that the Pah-wraiths are deprived of the ability to
meddle in the affairs of mortals or immortals for all eternity. To do
this, I think several measures are needed. Can you please physically
seal off the entrance to the Fire Caves on Bajor for good. Also, I
want you to stop the Pah-wraiths from ever making any contact with
other beings, by visions or dreams or any other form of communication.
And finally... wherever they exist in the universe, the Pah-wraiths
should be imprisoned in a form of confinement from which they can
never escape."

Q's face was completely deadpan, and Bashir had no idea if he approved
of these choices or not.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Q moved forward and stood close by Julian's side. "Is there nothing
else that you want for yourself?" he whispered seductively. "Perhaps
to make that special someone fall in love with you? Or can there be
some other desire that you long for, deep down inside? I'll let you
have anything that you want, my dear Doctor... anything at all. You
just have to say the word."

Julian shook his head decisively. "There's nothing else that I want."

Q seemed disappointed. "How dull. You're sure of that?"

"Totally sure. You see, there's only one way in which I can justify
all of this to myself, and that is if I act entirely for the benefit
of others. Which is why I don't want you to do anything for me, either
directly or indirectly."

"You must be either very moralistic or very stupid then," Q commented
eventually. "I'd say very stupid, but then again I suspect that your
friend Garak would think differently... well, I won't try to dissuade
you. As a matter of mere curiosity on my part, would you care to
explain why you selected those particular alterations to the timeline?
I would have expected you to focus at least some of your efforts on
changing the lives of specific individuals, such as Jadzia Dax, for
the better."

"I did contemplate doing just that," Julian admitted. "However, I was
anxious to achieve my desired effect by using the least possible
number of causes. It seemed safer that way. And if I helped Jadzia,
that would be beneficial to myself also, because she was my good
friend. If she's meant to live, then she will. If not..."

Q looked annoyed. "Why do you say it seemed safer that way? There is
no safety here, Julian! Surely you realise that what you are doing
will substantially alter the timeline?"

Julian nodded slowly. "Yes, I understand that. Although what I don't
know is whether my alterations will be generally beneficial..." he
hinted.

"First, tell me what you are hoping to achieve by this," Q replied,
his voice noncommittal.

"Well, as you know I don't want those Cardassians to die, nor anyone
else who perished in the war. For this to happen, I need to prevent
the Dominion from coming here to form an alliance with the
Cardassians. I concluded that, without the ability to move through the
wormhole, the Dominion would never have been able to establish a
presence in this quadrant. After all, it *is* the only stable wormhole
known to exist. The only other way that they could travel to the Alpha
quadrant would be at normal warp speed. Now that would take decades,
so they obviously wouldn't bother doing it."

"Wouldn't they?" Q said mischievously.

Julian decided to ignore the interruption, correctly concluding that Q
was merely trying to scare him. "So therefore, closing the wormhole
means that the Federation shouldn't go to war with either the Dominion
or the Cardassians. I chose to do this a year after we arrived here
because by then the Cardassians were well gone from Bajor, but we
hadn't yet made any direct contact with the Dominion. So hopefully,
there were no Founders over here impersonating people at that time."

"Do you really think that without those nasty Dominion types around,
war can be avoided for good?" Q said sarcastically. "I think you're
living in a dream world, Doctor."

"I don't see it that way," Julian said. "It's true that war cannot be
avoided, but perhaps war on that scale can be. Because before the
Dominion came along, we were all getting on pretty well, for the most
part."

Q laughed hysterically. "Bashir, you are truly a hopeless optimist. I
despair of you, I really do. You'd describe the Starfleet/Borg battle
at Wolf 359 as no more than a slight disagreement, I assume?"

Instead of retaliating, Julian bit his lip and remained silent. Q
noticed that he was reconsidering his argument, and smiled with
satisfaction. It was a pleasure to debate with this young man; unlike
Jean-Luc, he was sometimes willing to admit it when he was wrong!

"All right Q, let me rephrase that. Before the Dominion war, there
were conflicts and battles, and of course there will be more to come
in the future. But the scale of the destruction, even at Wolf 359, was
minute in comparison to that caused during the Dominion war. So that
was why I decided to close the wormhole."

"Fine, fine. But what about your move against the Pah-wraiths? I was
somewhat surprised by that one, Julian. Condemning an entire sentient
race to be imprisoned for all eternity isn't exactly the sort of thing
they teach you to do in Starfleet academy," Q said with heavy sarcasm.

Julian winced. "You don't have to tell me that. But since the war
started, I've done a lot of things which I wasn't taught to do at the
Academy. Sometimes you have to be bad, Q, and this is one of those
times."

Q grinned. "Oh, now that is just priceless. You know, if Sloan had
ever said that to you..."

"I'd have told him to shove it, I know. But Q, I'm quite certain that
the Pah-wraiths had a pivotal role in the war. The Dominion were the
overt enemy, but there was some form of hidden link to the
Pah-wraiths. They are evil, Q; I sense it, you know, and have done
ever since the war started."

"You should have been a Vedek," Q said scathingly.

Bashir flushed. "Look, I appreciate that it sounds irrational and I
can't explain it, but I know that this is necessary. I judge a species
by their actions, Q. Whenever a Pah-wraith takes control of another
person, that person is made to do horrific things. Just look at the
time when Keiko O'Brien was possessed by one; they forced her to try
and commit genocide... I don't want to be cruel, Q, but somehow I am
sure that it's vital to move against the Pah-wraiths. And if I don't
do this, then Sisko and Dukat will fight their battles as before...
and maybe this time Sisko won't come out on the winning side. If that
happens, then Bajor will be in big trouble. Sisko needs to be there
for the Bajoran people, and for his friends, family and colleagues."

Q snorted with amusement. "Don't try and pretend to me that you miss
Captain Sisko, Julian. I've read some of your personal logs - I know
better."

Julian stared at him furiously. "Why *does* Captain Picard put up with
you?"

Q smirked. "Because I'm the only one who dares to order *him* around.
He likes getting a taste of his own medicine every now and again,
although he's too stubborn to admit it. But don't try to evade the
point at issue, which is your dislike for your former commanding
officer and your thus hypocritical statement about him being needed by
his colleagues."

Julian shrugged. "Yes, you're right. I disliked him. So what? I have
no problem admitting that. The feeling was entirely mutual. We had an
unspoken agreement to be polite to each other however, for the sake of
good working relationships within the team. And I sincerely would not
want him to be hurt. I also didn't want him to be taken away by the
Prophets. For your information, Q, I don't wish bad things on people
just because I don't get along with them. The people of Bajor valued
their Emissary greatly. And he is Jake Sisko's father, plus Kasidy's
husband and the father of her unborn child. They all miss him, and if
Captain Sisko came back then I would be glad about it for their sake.
Very glad."

Q could see that Julian was speaking the truth and was about to say
something rude in response, but then decided not to. Bashir was in the
process of making the biggest decision of his life; he deserved a
little respect for it.

"Doctor, now that you've explained your plans to me, let's get back to
the issue at hand. I'm going to give you one more chance to back away
before I carry out these transformations. *Are you really sure that
this is what you want?*"

Julian hesitated. "I... I could use a little advice here, Q, if you'd
care to give it. I don't want to make a gigantic mess of things."

Q shook his head decisively, his expression severe. "This path you
walk alone, Julian, for good or for bad. I will not help you any
more."

Julian gulped. "Then go ahead. Do exactly what I said."

Q nodded grimly. "Very well. But don't forget; you will be the only
person in the universe who remembers this soon to be extinct timeline,
and you cannot tell *anyone* about it. If you do, I'll destroy you and
everyone that you confide in. I'll change you all into mice, trap you
in a corner and watch as you're eaten by a pack of very hungry voles."

Julian started to chuckle, then stopped abruptly as Q's face stayed
serious and he realised that it wasn't a joke.

"Q, I promise you that I'll keep the secret. Nobody will be told, no
matter how tempted I get to spill the beans," he said earnestly.

"You'd better mean it," Q warned him. "But be aware, my restrictions
are more stringent than that; nobody must guess what you did, either.
You need to prevent anyone from getting suspicious about you. That
means thinking on your feet, blending in, and acting in a way that
people in the revised timeline perceive as normal. If anyone finds out
the truth for themselves, I'll consider that you've failed and you
will both be destroyed as I described."

Bashir shivered slightly, knowing that Q meant every word. "I'll do my
best... but this won't be easy," he pouted.

"Well really, that's just tough," Q replied unsympathetically. "You
made your bed, both literally and figuratively, and now you can go
ahead in lie in it. I will give you one piece of advice, however. As
soon as you wake up in the Bashiriverse, find out as much as possible
about yourself, your universe and those around you. Make that your
very first priority. As the old saying goes; fail to prepare, prepare
to fail!"

Julian appreciated the sense of this. "Thanks, I'll do that. May I ask
one last question?"

"You may."

"I was just wondering, if I won't know anything about the alternate
version of history when I arrive, does that mean that I haven't
participated in it?"

"Ah. Good point. No, you will have participated in it, but you just
won't remember doing so. I will simply leave you with your present
lifetime's memories instead of the ones you had accumulated in the new
timeline. So you'll need to live with the decisions that you made for
yourself over those missing years, whatever they were. You might well
find yourself disagreeing with your own actions..."

"You mean that... I could be different?"

"Of course!"

"It never occurred to me that my own personal history might change
too," Julian admitted.

"But Doctor, it's inevitable. Mortals like yourself make decisions in
response to both internal and external stimuli. If what is external to
you alters, then so might some of your own actions and reactions. You
could find yourself having a different career, living on another
planet, maybe even married and the father of hordes of snotty brats!"

"Oh heavens, I hope not," Julian replied fervently. Then he looked at
Q apprehensively. "I suppose, since all of that may occur, then it's
also equally feasible that I might not wake up at all. In this new
universe, I could possibly have been killed before this present point
in time..."

Q smirked. "One can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, Doctor."

Julian shot him a murderous look. "You show such consideration for
other people's feelings, Q. If you ever stop being immortal, may I
recommend a second career as a counsellor?"

"Your ability to deliver painful insults needs honing, Doctor," Q
remarked briskly. "Perhaps if you and he both live through this, you
could ask Garak to give you a few tips. Now, I do believe it's almost
time for us to part company. Goodbye for now, my young and foolish
friend. If you're still around, I'll pop by later on to see how you
like your bright new world. Will you come with me into the bedroom?"
Bashir did so, his nervousness well hidden although Q knew it existed.
"Lie down on the bed and close your eyes. When you wake up, everything
will be soooo different..."

Q snapped his fingers and Bashir fell asleep instantly. The other man
walked across to stand by him, smiling, the image of
self-satisfaction. Absently, he ran a finger down the side of Bashir's
face, admiring his enchanting countenance. Although Q loved Picard, he
couldn't help but admit that Julian Bashir was very sexy indeed. The
sight of his slim body was enough to make one forget about balding,
repressed, complex, stubborn Starfleet Captains... for a moment,
anyway.

"Ah, my dear Julian... you're about to get the shock of your life. I
can't *wait* to see how you handle it!"

---

As consciousness slowly returned to him, Julian became aware of gentle
touches being applied to his face and neck. Someone was kissing him,
he realised... ah, it felt so good, he didn't want it to stop. Bashir
sighed contentedly to himself and kept his eyes closed, letting the
kisses drop and loving them, until he remembered his deal with Q. Then
his eyes snapped open and he almost gasped with shock. He was being
kissed by Gul Dukat!

"Oh Julian, you're awake," Dukat said with a pleased smile. "I'm so
glad. I know I should have let you sleep after our sexual exertions
last night, but my dear, you are so very kissable in the mornings...
and in the afternoons and evenings too, come to think of it..."

Dukat leaned forward and kissed him again, this time full on the
mouth. Too surprised to protest, Julian just remained still and let it
happen. He was even more surprised to learn that the kisses were
wonderfully satisfying. Instinctively, Julian opened his mouth and
moaned softly with pleasure as Dukat's silken tongue quickly slipped
inside.

After several minutes of pleasurable smooching, Dukat pulled back from
him. Julian felt a swift pang of disappointment that the moment of
closeness had ended, swiftly followed by a powerful spasm of guilt.
This should not be happening. It wasn't that Julian didn't desire
Dukat, just the opposite in fact, but he had never acted on those
feelings because he sensed it wasn't safe to love this man. He also
did not like Dukat's tendency to hurt other people. But just then
there was something so totally right about being kissed by Dukat, and
the gut instinct which normally screamed at Julian to leave him alone
was silent.

It was at this point that Julian realised with dismay that he was both
on top of the bedcovers and totally naked. In contrast, Dukat himself
was fully dressed, but in civilian clothes. Julian could never recall
seeing him wear anything other than a standard Cardassian military
uniform before. Bashir stared up at the Cardassian, mesmerised by the
loving expression on Dukat's face as he gazed down at him.

"I wish I could stay with you longer, Julian, but I have a ministerial
meeting to chair in fifteen minutes and a lot of paperwork to complete
afterwards. But I'll see you at the situations briefing this
afternoon, yes?"

"Erm, I imagine so," Julian mumbled. He remembered Q's insistence on
preparation, and wryly wondered how he could possibly have prepared
for this conversation!

"Until 14.00 hours then," Dukat said cheerfully. "Now, you have a nice
morning off. You've been working too hard recently and some rest will
do you good. When we see each other tonight, I do *not* expect to hear
that you spent the next few hours doing medical research! Why not pay
a visit to a holosuite?"

"Maybe I will," Bashir agreed quickly. Anything to get Dukat to leave.
"See you later."

"I look forward to it." After bestowing one brief final kiss on
Julian's cheek, Dukat left the room. When he passed through the
bedroom door, Julian almost gasped as he saw that Dukat now had long
hair. It was almost down to his waist, in fact. Bashir had not noticed
this before as the hair was neatly tied back from Dukat's face.

Once alone, Julian sat up in bed and started to think. His first
impulse was to feel angry. Q had said nothing at all about him waking
up in bed with the arch-criminal of the quadrant at his side. But
almost immediately, Julian's common sense reasserted itself. Why
should he have been warned about this? Q had made it very plain that
the consequences of the changes to the timeline were for him to deal
with. And Q had also warned him about surprises, hadn't he? But
somehow, the theory of it had been a lot easier to deal with than the
reality.

"Perhaps I should have arrested Dukat," Julian mused out loud to
himself. "But then again, he seemed to act as if he had every right to
be here... with me. I wish I knew what it all meant."

First things first, Julian decided; let's assess the situation
logically. The design of the bedroom and the arrangement of stars
visible outside the window suggested that he was still on DS9, which
was good. However, these quarters were definitely not the same ones
that he used to occupy. Some of the furnishings were also new. Then
Julian noticed Kukalaka sitting on the bedside table and immediately
picked the bear up to give him a hug. He had an uneasy feeling that
familiar friends like this one were going to matter to him a lot more
now than they used to.

He got up and walked over to the window, staring out into space
moodily. What else had he learned so far about this new version of
reality? For one thing, that he was probably still a doctor, since
Dukat had mentioned his medical research. And also of course, he now
knew that Dukat himself was still alive and free. Moreover, the
Cardassian had seemed totally rational and in control of himself. And
then there were the kisses, not to mention his own nudity and Dukat's
reference to their "sexual exertions" of last night.

Julian sighed. It was fairly obvious that his own attitude towards
Dukat had warmed so much that he was now the man's lover. Had it just
been a one night stand, perhaps? Julian decided not. Dukat's behaviour
towards him indicated that a more long-lasting relationship was in
place. The thought of it gave Julian butterflies in his stomach, a
strange feeling of pleasure and anxiety mixed. He made himself put the
matter of Dukat aside to think about later, when he had collected more
information on the subject. After all, if they were an item then
everyone on DS9 would probably know all about it.

The room was warmly heated, but Julian felt uncomfortable being naked
and went off to his closet to fetch a dressing gown. Of the three
gowns that he found hanging up there, two of them were ones which he
had never seen before. He immediately put on the third dressing gown,
a long garment of black silk which Garak had made for him several
years ago.

Julian walked through to the living room. Once again, there were
changes to be seen. The layout of the furniture had been altered, he
had a different rug and there were two new pictures on the walls.
Julian shivered. He was disturbed by the fact that there had been so
many changes to his own quarters. It seemed to indicate that he was
different in some way, but Julian didn't want to be different. It gave
him the creeps. He had to repress the impulse to rip the pictures off
the walls then and there. Then it occurred to him that he might be in
Dukat's rooms.

"Computer, am I currently located inside my own quarters?"

"Affirmative."

"Oh. Computer, does anyone else live here, on a permanent basis that
is?"

"Negative; Julian Bashir is the only registered occupant of these
quarters."

Well, that was one comforting solution shot down in flames. Julian's
anxiety increased. If he lived here alone, then why wasn't everything
just like it used to be? He didn't even find one of the paintings
attractive. There was something very wrong about all this. Julian
realised that he was on the edge of panic, and firmly instructed
himself to calm down. These were only objects, after all. He could
quickly replicate the furniture and clothes that he used to have.
Everything could be made to look just as it used to in no time at all.
It really didn't matter anyway, he counselled himself; better to focus
on the essentials.

Sitting down at the computer, Julian took a deep breath; this was
indeed the moment of truth. Warily, he requested a summary of key
current events for the last seven years and desperately hoped that he
would be presented with good news.

---

After reading through the historical summary carefully, Julian felt
fairly pleased with himself. On first analysis, it did not seem to be
too bad. His main objective had been achieved; Cardassia was safe and
the Dominion war had never happened. In fact, there was no record of
the Dominion's existence in the Federation's database. Searches for
the Founders, the Jem'Hadar and the Vorta also turned up nothing. This
could only mean that no contact had ever been made with the Dominion,
which was very welcome news. And many of the historical landmarks
which he was familiar with were still in place, such as the Cardassian
occupation of Bajor and subsequent withdrawal, then the arrival of
Starfleet personnel on DS9, including himself as CMO.

However, there were also big differences. In this timeline, Bajor had
joined the Federation two years ago. Over the past few years there had
been ever-increasing hostility between the Federation and the
Klingons, however. The situation had become more perilous when the
Klingons joined forces with the Breen and they began to make joint
attacks on Federation planets. Soon afterwards the Klingon/Breen
fleets also launched assaults on the Cardassian Empire. At one point,
there were fifteen Federation and Cardassian planets under
Klingon/Breen occupation. In response to this blatant threat to their
sovereignty, an alliance had been formed a year ago between the
Federation and the Cardassians. The need for self-protection had
overcome any mutual suspicions, Julian presumed, although it must have
been difficult for the Bajorans to find themselves allied to their
former conquerors.

The Federation/Cardassian alliance was a successful one. Once both
powers combined their military forces, all of the occupied planets had
been liberated within three months. From then on, Cardassia and the
Federation had both been able to defend their borders effectively.
This was much to the dismay of the Klingons and the Breen, who had
found themselves unexpectedly short of new worlds to attack. Feeling
vulnerable, they had hastily courted the Romulans as potential allies.
Since the Romulan government were highly concerned about the growing
bond between Cardassia and the Federation, they had been easy to win
over. Currently, both sides were at a stand-off; a neutral zone had
been established which neither of them wholly respected, and a cold
war was well underway. Strategically, it seemed that the Federation
and the Cardassians had a slight advantage over their enemies. They
worked increasingly well together, whereas the Klingons, Breen and
Romulans had an uneasy partnership, frequently clashing over policy
issues.

What a tremendous shift in political loyalties he had brought about,
Julian thought with awe. He knew it would be difficult for him to
regard the Klingons as enemies. He had always respected Worf without
liking him, and there had been a form of friendship between himself
and Martok. Strange that the Federation had been able to form an
alliance with the Cardassians in the first place, let alone to make it
operate efficiently. Idly, Julian wondered what Captain Sisko thought
of this arrangement.

*Sisko!* Damn, he'd forgotten all about him, and about the other
people in his life; friends, family. Julian instantly had a burning
need to make sure that everyone was all right.

"Computer, please tell me if Richard and Amsha Bashir from Earth are
alive and well, and if the answer is yes then I also wish to know
where they are living now."

"Richard and Amsha Bashir are both alive and have no serious physical
or mental illnesses on file. They are currently residing in the Earth
city of Quebec."

Julian sighed with relief, and tried not to think about the fact that
his parents had before lived in Melbourne, Australia. Now for his
friends and colleagues.

"Computer, please give me the names of some of the DS9 senior staff."

"Station commander: Colonel Kira Nerys. Second in command: Commander
James Androvski. Security Chief: Lieutenant Jadzia Dax. Chief of
Engineering: Chief Anna Tebarra. Science officer: Glinn Duvot Remaq."

One piece of information stood out for Julian over all others and his
eyes shone with joy; Jadzia was alive! He felt like dancing all over
the room. His good friend had been restored to him, something he had
never really expected to happen, despite his discussions with Q. He
would go and find her soon, very soon, this morning. But less
positively, there were three new names on a list of only five people.
He didn't know Androvski, Tebarra or Remaq at all.

"Why, oh why, is Dax working in security?" Julian said to himself out
loud. "And why am I talking to myself, for that matter? Get a grip,
Bashir!"

Not that he cared where Jadzia worked; all that mattered was that she
was alive. It just seemed strange for her to be a security officer
now, because Jadzia had always expressed a distaste for that type of
work. She'd called it dull and monotonous, although never in Odo's
presence. And on the subject of Odo, Julian urgently wanted to know
why was he, along with Sisko and O'Brien, was no longer working on
DS9.

Julian rapidly did a name search for each of them. Chief O'Brien had
left DS9 with his family to take up a posting on Vulcan six months
ago. Julian felt sad about that; he would miss Miles. Odo had resigned
from his post as DS9's Security Chief and left the station two years
ago. There was no record of his current location. As for Sisko, the
news of him was not good. In this timeline, Benjamin Sisko had never
existed at all, and thus nor had his son Jake. For some reason, Joseph
Sisko had never fathered any children.

Horrified at this, Julian covered his face with his hands and groaned.
He had known that this precise type of incident would happen, Q had
warned him of it, but it still hurt like hell. Bashir had airily
messed with the timeline, and as a result of that, two good people's
lives had never even begun. No, three people, for he must not forget
Sisko and Kasidy's unborn child. Now they all lived only in his
memory. But eight hundred million Cardassians who had once died were
now alive. Julian knew he would have to keep reminding himself of that
- often.

After a few minutes Bashir accessed the computer again, more warily
now. Further checking on Jadzia revealed that she had been demoted and
forcibly reassigned to security. This was after she gave an order to
fire on a damaged Breen vessel in the neutral zone. Dax had later
claimed that this was merely justice, but Starfleet disagreed. At a
court martial, Jadzia's fitness for command in battle situations had
been called into question, leading to the reassignment. The record
showed that several friends of hers had died in a Breen attack just a
week previously. Julian also learned that Jadzia was married to
Colonel Kira now, and that they had recently adopted two orphaned
Bajoran children.

Julian sighed. "It's all changed around here," he muttered.

The reference to Dax's marriage to Kira naturally prompted him to
check on Worf next. He found no recent mention of the Klingon in
Starfleet records. Worf had once worked for Starfleet but he'd
resigned and returned home several years previously. Probably this
decision had been forced upon him by the escalating Federation/Klingon
conflict.

Given what he already knew, it was no surprise to discover that Ezri
had never moved to DS9, although Julian was very glad to find that she
was alive. Ezri was currently serving on the USS Endonys as ship's
counsellor. She remained an unjoined Trill and was married now, to
Ensign Jack Blass; the couple were currently expecting their first
child. Julian was not distressed by this news, in fact he was secretly
relieved by it. He'd been trying to think of a humane way to detach
himself from Ezri for over a week. After the initial excitement of
being in a stable relationship had subsided, Julian knew that there
had been nothing left for them to build on.

Julian had another surprise when he did a name search on Garak. The
tailor had been exiled to DS9 as before, but in this version of
history his exile had ended three years ago and he now lived on
Cardassia. Julian sighed. He would no longer have the regular company
of three of his friends; O'Brien, Ezri and Garak were all somewhere
else. But it was a small price to pay, really. And he did have Jadzia
back now...

Finally, Julian trawled the database for references to Gul Dukat. It
turned out that Dukat, of all people, was now a life-long fighter for
humanitarian causes, and founder of the newly implemented Cardassian
democratic system. Julian was so surprised at this that he repeated
the search three times, but each time the result was identical. At
present, the computer advised him, *Senator* Dukat was the elected
leader of the civilian Cardassian Government and thus the most
powerful man on the planet. An impressive record by anyone's
standards.

Julian decided to research the changes to Cardassia's history in much
more detail later on. Right now, he wanted to get dressed and go out.
Armed with a set of key facts about this new timeline, he felt pretty
much ready to interact with other people. And Bashir very much wanted
to discover if everyone was as different as Dukat seemed to be.
Fortunately, his personal diary showed that he had the next three days
off on leave, except for the afternoon's situations briefing which all
DS9 senior staff were required to attend. This would give him plenty
of time to learn all about his work-related responsibilities, before
having to resume duty.

---

After showering and shaving, Julian went to put on a uniform. He
almost screamed when he saw that it was a different uniform to the one
he used to have. This one's design was dark blue with a light blue
undershirt. It was pleasant to look at, but as a representation of
unwelcome change he detested it. Bashir pulled it the uniform on
reluctantly. The colour and fit flattered him, although he didn't
realise it. But Julian did notice that he still had Lieutenant's pips
on the collar.

Feeling a little apprehensive, Julian made his way to the promenade.
It was rather crowded, with a fair number of Cardassians among the mix
of alien species. He could see over twenty of them; men, women and
children. None of them wore a military uniform. Julian watched the
Cardassians with fascination and wondered if they were living on DS9
or just visiting. Everyone seemed comfortable with their presence,
even the Bajorans didn't look bothered about it. This had to be a
practical demonstration of how strong the Cardassian/Federation
alliance really was. But politics aside, Bashir wondered if the
Bajorans had really managed to forgive their Cardassian former
oppressors so completely.

As Julian strolled along, noting and evaluating every little change,
people greeted him cheerfully and wished him a good morning as they
passed by. But not one single person was familiar to him. Even worse,
they all seemed to know something that he didn't. If not, why were
they all whispering and giggling to each other as he walked past?
Julian dolefully decided that he was not yet prepared for interacting
with people at all. In fact, he would have his work cut out to learn
all about DS9's residents quickly, or else they would start to wonder
why he was suddenly stricken with amnesia. It was all so surreal; the
same place, the same time, and yet not.

"Julian, wait!" A well-known voice made him smile and he spun round to
see Garak striding towards him. He grinned brightly at the sight of
his old friend, and at the same time vaguely registered the fact that
Garak had just called him by his given name for the first time.

"Garak, what are you doing here?" he enquired impulsively, then
inwardly berated himself for asking a question which he should
presumably know the answer to. But Garak merely looked amused.

"Am I to assume from your surprise at seeing me that Dukat had more
important things on his mind last night than to tell you I travelled
across with him?" Garak said teasingly. "Well, you two *have* been
apart for three months now, so I will forgive him for the omission. I
only hope he let you come up for air occasionally!"

Julian was faintly shocked by Garak's unusually suggestive remark.
Garak noticed his discomfort and chuckled.

"Are you staying here for long?" Julian asked, in a hasty attempt to
change the subject.

"I'm afraid not. I will be returning to Cardassia on a passenger
vessel in less than two days. The decision to come to DS9 was a
somewhat spontaneous one, Julian. Ziyal said the other day that I
should take the opportunity to get away and see you while it's quiet
at the Library. The university is in summer recess right now, as you
know. It's quite a pleasant change not to have to cater to young
lunatics who seem to think that the world will end if they do not get
their assigned study texts issued *immediately*!"

Julian dutifully smiled at Garak's observation, while his mind hastily
processed the pieces of information that it had just been given. It
delighted Julian to know that Ziyal was alive, although why she would
choose to live on Cardassia when she had been so unhappy there in the
past was a mystery to him. But perhaps she had just wanted to live
with Dukat; Ziyal had always been very loyal to her father.

Julian looked Garak over carefully. His old friend seemed no different
from usual, thankfully. It was a pity that Garak couldn't remain on
DS9 for longer. Julian had a thousand questions which he wanted
answers to, and this man could probably supply them all. However, he
knew better than to aim too many questions at Garak. His
perceptiveness and ability to make correct deductions from minute
amounts of information were now a cause for concern. Q's warning about
what would happen if anyone discovered his secret was foremost in
Julian's mind. He would have to be on his guard more than ever when in
Garak's company.

Suddenly realising that his anxious musings had caused the
conversation to pause, Julian gave Garak a winning smile. "Sorry! I
was just thinking about a patient. Tell me, how is Ziyal?"

Garak smiled mysteriously. "Oh, she's very well... for a woman in the
first stage of pregnancy, that is." He beamed proudly at Julian, and
clearly relished the expression of utter surprise on Bashir's face.

"Ziyal's pregnant? That's...erm, that's wonderful!" Julian fervently
hoped that this was the appropriate response to make. He felt rather
out of his depth, not possessing any of the knowledge which Garak
would expect him to have. Did he even know Ziyal in this timeline, had
she ever been to DS9?

"Yes Julian, she is and it is! The confirmation came through just
before I left. We decided to start a family right after getting
married, as you know, but it took some time for Ziyal to conceive. I
must confess that the idea of being a father is taking me some time to
get used to. I am happy about it, you understand, but I do feel
apprehensive about the extent of my parenting abilities. My own father
was not... the best of parents. I sometimes wonder if I can cope with
the responsibility of bringing up a child."

"Garak, I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Use your own father as an
example of what not to do, if it helps. I have no doubt at all that
you'll cope magnificently. Many congratulations to you both," Julian
said warmly.

Garak nodded his head gracefully. "Thank you, Julian. I very much
appreciate your good wishes and so will Ziyal when I tell her." Then
he activated his comm badge. "Garak to Dukat."

"Dukat here."

"I've seen Julian."

"Excellent! Thank you for letting me know, Elim."

"You're welcome. Garak out."

"What was all that about?" Julian asked curiously.

"Ah, well... Dukat knows that he'll soon be a grandfather; he had to
hear about it first, of course. He was so thrilled when we broke the
news to him that I thought he would faint. However, I made him promise
to keep it a secret for a while because I wanted to tell you myself. I
had no faith *at all* in him doing so, but it seems he is more capable
of discretion than I gave him credit for," Garak said dryly. "So I was
simply letting him know that, now I've informed you about the baby, he
can enlighten as many other people about it as he wants. I suspect he
will visit every inhabitant of this station personally to make sure
that they've heard!"

Garak was smiling and his tone was indulgent and affectionate as he
spoke of Dukat. Julian could hardly believe that these two men, who
had once been the worst of enemies, now seemed to get on so well. Was
it merely that they were maintaining a facade of friendship for
Ziyal's sake? Julian badly wanted to know the truth of it, but
reminded himself that there were many ways to find things out and that
he would learn everything in time.

"Didn't you want to share this news with everyone yourself, Garak?
After all, you are the father to be."

Garak grinned. "I know, but Dukat is so excited at the thought of
Ziyal and I having a child of our own that I really didn't mind about
it, as long as I saw you first. Now, why don't we go and have a
celebratory drink in Quark's and talk for a while, just like we used
to do, hmm?"

Julian nodded sombrely. "Yes, Garak. Just like we used to do..."

As they sat down at a table, Garak looked at Bashir quizzically. "Are
you quite all right, Julian? You seem somewhat distracted today."

"I'm just tired, I guess," Julian replied easily. He was a little
concerned by the fact that telling lies seemed almost effortless now,
but of course he had to master this skill, for his own safety and that
of those around him.

"Ah, you're tired... I see. I had thought you might in fact be worried
about Dukat's marriage proposal," Garak said with a faint smile.

Julian's eyes widened in shock. "Marriage proposal?" he gasped.
Fortunately, Garak misunderstood his reaction.

"Now Julian, don't be annoyed with Dukat for telling me. I know you
asked him not to mention it to anyone, but he wanted me to put in a
good word for him. To be honest, I think he may have mentioned it to
one or two others as well, for the same reason... I told you he has
difficulty with the concept of discretion sometimes!"

"Well, now I understand why you didn't expect him to keep Ziyal's
pregnancy a secret," Julian said flatly.

Garak smiled. "If you're angry with him, don't be. He's just so
terrified at the thought that you might end the relationship; he's
trying everything he can to persuade you not to walk out on him."

"I didn't know he felt so insecure," Julian said sympathetically.

"It's inevitable, in the circumstances. Your continued reluctance to
get married is scaring him. You know how much he loves you, Julian.
Dukat would the happiest of men if you agreed to be his husband. And
speaking for myself, it would be a great pleasure to spend time with
you on a daily basis. Cardassia is a wonderful planet, Julian. There
is a plethora of fine literature, music, theatre and other forms of
entertainment. I would be honoured to show you the best that my home
world has to offer. And you'd get used to the heat eventually; most
aliens do. And since people from over fifty different species live
there now, you'd even have plenty of alien patients to look after..."

Julian felt stressed. Being told that a man he hardly knew and had
never liked desperately wanted to marry him was not making him feel
good. He tried to articulate his emotions to Garak without giving
anything away. "This is all moving much too quickly for me, Garak. I
feel as if I hardly know Dukat. I'm not ready to make a lifelong
commitment to him."

Garak was clearly concerned by this. "Julian, it was only two weeks
ago that you wrote me a nine page letter which had as it's sole theme
your wish to be with Dukat constantly. All through that letter, the
words echoed your love for him. The emotion was so blazingly obvious,
I could almost touch it. And yet tonight, you speak of him as if he is
a stranger to you. What's changed since then? Have you two had an
argument?"

Julian repressed the urge to tell Garak to mind his own damn business.
"It's not that. I just need more time."

Garak's deceptively calm eyes were upon him; searching, assessing,
deducing, judging. Julian hoped that his friendship with Garak would
not be a problem now. He would hate to have to end their association
because the likelihood of this man learning the truth about his deal
with Q had become too great.

"Julian, you should think very carefully about this. I believe that
you and Dukat are perfect for one another. I know how bad you feel
every time he has to leave DS9 and go back to Cardassia. And I see how
painful it is for himto live apart from you. You are the best thing in
his life; I should know - he tells me so every day! All he wants is to
be with you, and I cannot accept that you desire any other resolution.
I do realise that you are the one who would have to make all the
changes if this marriage went ahead--"

"Don't worry about that, Garak; I'm very good at making changes,"
Julian assured him ironically.

"Then I can only conclude that your hesitation is caused by the fact
that you've effectively had a long-distance courtship. If you had been
at Dukat's side every day from the start, then it would all be
different."

"You think I should marry him, then?" Julian asked with suspicion. He
still found it very strange that Garak would stand up for his old
enemy in this way.

Garak laughed softly. "Oh no Julian, you won't get an answer on that
one from me. It's your decision, my friend. All I would say to you
is... don't be afraid to take a chance for the sake of happiness. If I
had always chosen the safest path, I would not be married to Ziyal
now. Sometimes it pays to take a risk, Julian."

Julian sighed. "I can't help thinking that I've taken quite enough
risks for the time being..."

Garak was about to reply when their conversation was interrupted by a
Ferengi waiter who came across to take their order. "What do you
want?" he said in a sullen voice.

Julian looked up. "Hello Nog," he said pleasantly. "Helping Quark out
today, I see. Is he short staffed?"

Nog ignored both the greeting and the question. "I *said*, what do you
want? If you're not going to order anything then I'll go serve someone
else."

"We'll each have a glass of Bajoran spring wine," Garak interjected
quickly. Nog walked away without saying another word.

"Well, I see that his table-side manner hasn't improved at all since I
was last here," Garak commented acerbically. "Why Quark continues to
employ that man, I'll never know."

Julian was staring at Nog. "He shouldn't be employed here at all," he
whispered to himself, but Garak heard.

"I know, but I suppose even Ferengi have some kind of familial loyalty
concept. Since Nog's father died, Quark has done his best for his
nephew... in his own greedy, exploitive Ferengi way. And it's not as
if Nog could do any better for himself with that attitude, not to
mention his lack of an education. Why, he never even bothered to learn
to read or write..."

Julian struggled to hide his distress at the news of Rom's death, so
casually dropped into the conversation by Garak. He looked away
quickly, hoping that Garak hadn't noticed how upset he was. To calm
down, Julian made himself think about Nog, who still lived but clearly
not as well as he once had done. Why was that? Nog should have become
a Starfleet officer in this timeline too. Nog had the ability to
become a starship Captain one day; Captain Sisko had said so more than
once.

*Of course!* Captain Sisko had sponsored Nog's entry into Starfleet,
and believed in his potential when none of the other senior staff had.
And hadn't Jake Sisko taught Nog to read and write? Then there was
Rom, who had gone against Quark's wishes by encouraging Nog to try and
build a better career for himself. Without Rom and the two Sisko's
around to act as positive influences in his life, Nog had gone
nowhere. Quark had, doubtless, convinced him that he was incapable of
doing any better for himself, and so Nog had ended up trapped in a
life which he despised. The Ferengi's sullen attitude seemed to
confirm this. Julian felt another surge of guilt, but he quickly told
himself that it was at least partially misplaced this time. Nog might
not be a Starfleet officer right now, but then again he probably
hadn't lost a leg either. And anyway, Bashir firmly believed that it
was never too late to give someone a helping hand.

Julian came out of his reverie to see Garak's eyes curious resting on
him once again. "Garak, forgive me. I was miles away. I just decided
that I wanted to do something to help Nog better himself. He's capable
of much more than just waiting tables and mixing drinks. All he needs
is a little education and he could achieve anything. Maybe he could
even be a Starfleet officer one day..."

Garak laughed heartily. "What an amusing idea! So you plan to help
him, do you? I must say, this is a very strange transformation on your
part, Julian. Usually all you say to me about Nog is how much his rude
and unhelpful manner towards the customers of this establishment
irritates you."

Julian winced at the evidence of his own thoughtlessness. He, who had
always deplored the tendency of other races to treat Ferengi as if
they cared only for money and thus had no finer feelings to be
respected. Ah, but it was so easy for him to care about Nog now, with
the benefit of hindsight and prior knowledge. Julian had served with
Nog and come to like and respect him. But just like everyone else,
hadn't he initially scoffed at the very idea of a Ferengi joining
Starfleet?

"Well Garak, maybe it's time I stopped complaining about him and did
something to support him instead. I'm going to pay for a private tutor
to give Nog lessons. I'll also talk to him about other career options
and give him some suggestions on how to find a more challenging job."

"Oh, if you want to try and make a smile appear on his face for once,
go ahead," Garak commented, clearly of the opinion that it was a
futile gesture. "He'll probably just split the money you're paying for
lessons with the tutor and remain as ignorant as before."

Julian shook his head decisively. "I don't think so, Garak. I think
he'll grab this chance with both hands and make very good use of it -
you just wait and see."

---

After finishing off his drink and saying goodbye to Garak, Julian
walked slowly down the promenade. He really didn't know what to do
next. Julian had no doubt that he was very unprepared for life here.
There was so much that he didn't know and would need to know soon, if
he were to function effectively in this timeline. After a few minutes
of aimless shuffling about, Julian cheered up; maybe it was time to
visit another old friend.

"Computer, what is the location of Lieutenant Commander, sorry, I mean
of Lieutenant Dax?"

"Lieutenant Dax is in her office."

"Are there any other persons with her at the present time?"

"Negative."

Julian smiled with satisfaction and walked quickly towards the
security area. Now would seem to be the perfect time for a rewardingly
sentimental conversation with Jadzia. After learning about Rom's death
and Nog's misfortunes, he needed to see her alive and well.

As Bashir entered her office, Jadzia Dax looked up from her work and
gave him a cheerful smile. He grinned back at her, wanting to hug her
and tell her how good it was that she was alive, and knowing that he
couldn't. This had to be an ordinary, casual meeting.

"Hi there, Jadzia. How are you doing?"

"Just fine. How are *you* doing, Julian?"

"Not so bad, I guess."

"Only not so bad?" she asked with a teasing grin. "Dukat's on station,
so you should be in seventh heaven right now. But I notice you're not
wearing a ring yet, so the marriage negotiations must have hit a
sticky patch. Care to tell your old friend all about it? Kira's hoping
you'll marry here, by the way, so that she can take part in the
marriage ceremony. She wants to be Dukat's aide, can you believe it!
Whoever heard of a male Cardassian having a female aide on their
marriage day? But you know, I think he just may go for it; I've
noticed your lover likes to do unusual things. If he did that then
before long, Cardassian newly-weds everywhere would follow his lead.
And my sneaky little wife would also like the wedding to be on DS9
because then Ziyal would visit us. Kira's taken quite a liking to
Ziyal. It's just as well that she only has eyes for Garak, or I'd have
to rustle up a streak of insane jealousy from somewhere... You will be
having a traditional Cardassian ceremony, I assume? After all, you've
always said that the Human marriage service bores you."

Julian smiled as Jadzia eventually stopped talking. So much for
Garak's claim that Dukat's proposal was only known to himself and one
or two others. But then again, he might have known that a secret like
this could not stay a secret for long.

"You're very well informed, Jadzia. Who told you that Dukat had asked
me to marry him?"

Dax looked puzzled. "You did, Julian, yesterday when we were at
lunch."

"Oh yes, right. I was forgetting," he said hastily. "Anyway, let's not
talk about that. Have you heard the news about Ziyal?"

"Who hasn't?" Dax said dryly. "Dukat was in here just before showing
me pictures of the baby in the womb. Then he showed me more pictures
of the baby's bedroom and told me how it's to be redecorated. Then he
showed me some baby clothes he'd just bought in one of the shops here.
I think he's definitely looking forward to being a grandparent, don't
you?"

There it was again; that unlikely tone of affection in someone's voice
when they spoke of Dukat. In this case it seemed especially creepy,
and the idea of Jadzia being alone with the same man who had once
killed her made Julian shiver. He really was confused about Dukat. It
seemed that Garak, Dax and Kira - Kira, of all people! - all knew him
and liked him. What had happened to the former, despised Prefect of
Bajor to make him so acceptable to these people now? He would have to
find out more about Dukat's past when the chance arose.

"I'm sure you're right about that, Jadzia. I was thinking about Odo
today," he added impulsively. He had to ask her about Odo, in the room
where the changeling had once spent so much of his time.

Jadzia nodded understandingly. "I often do that myself, especially
when I'm here in this office. It still seems like it belongs to him,
in a way. Sometimes when the door opens, I half expect it to be Odo
walking in. I hope he's found his people by now."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you know how frustrated he got over the years because he didn't
know where he came from and whether any others like him existed. In
the end it seemed to be almost eating away at him, didn't you think?"

"Erm, yes." Julian could feel the guilt coming back again, and this
time he had no defence against it.

"He had to go and look for them, Julian. There's no point in being sad
about it. I know you tried to dissuade him and you weren't the only
one, but however happy he was here, it wasn't enough. I like to think
that by now, he knows exactly who and what he is. Hopefully he's made
it to his home planet and is with hundreds of shapeshifters just like
him, maybe even his own family."

"I hope so too," Julian replied quietly. He could not tell Jadzia that
Odo's chances of locating the Founders, without access to the
wormhole, were almost nil. The thought of him wandering in space for
years on end, alone and ever more desperate, was not a pleasant one.
When he'd struck back at the Dominion, Julian had never once
considered the effect that his actions would have on Odo. He hadn't
even spared the Constable a thought, which he now despised himself
for. Even worse, he knew that he would probably not have acted any
differently even if Odo had been in his thoughts. But if he could
track Odo down now, then he could tell him exactly where his people
were... As changelings lived for hundreds of years, Odo could probably
make his way back there in the end, even without use of the wormhole.
And doing this wouldn't threaten his secret; Julian knew he could
think up some convincing lie to explain where and how he'd obtained
the information. He made a mental resolution to find Odo very soon,
whatever it took.

"Cheer up Julian, it might never happen," Dax said as she noticed the
bleak look on his face.

"It already has," he replied gloomily. "I seem to be receiving a lot
of depressing news today, Jadzia."

"What sort of news? Nothing major, I hope. Since that battle we had
with the Klingons near Vulcan two months ago, things have been pretty
quiet. Is that reason to worry, do you think? Maybe they're busy
planning something bad."

"Oh no, I'm sure everything's fine," Julian rapidly replied. "Listen,
I can't stay. Lots to do, you know. See you later?"

"Sure. Bye for now... Dr. Julian Dukat." Jadzia grinned at him
mischievously.

"Don't even go there," Julian said, rolling his eyes, and quickly left
before the subject of marriage could be brought up again.

---

Back on the promenade once more, he took a closer look at the row of
shops on the lower level, some of which were new to him. As for food
outlets, there was no Klingon restaurant here now, which was a shame
as he was quite fond of Klingon food. Possibly the replicators still
served it, which would be better than nothing. As an alternative,
there were two new Cardassian restaurants. Garak's old tailor's shop
was still there. It was now operated by a Bajoran woman who greeted
him pleasantly as he walked by, and also asked him if he'd agreed to
marry Dukat yet! Julian blushed and muttered a non-committal reply
before hurriedly moving on. He wondered how many times he'd have to
evade that question before the day was over.

"Ah, Dr. Bashir. I'm glad I ran into you. You will be at the
situations briefing this afternoon, of course?"

The man who was speaking to Julian had just come out of another shop.
He was an unknown Human male who wore a Starfleet uniform. Bashir
simply nodded in reply to the question.

"Good. I want to talk to you afterwards about the burn injuries that
our troops have been receiving from the new Klingon pak'dar rifles.
You will have been advised that the medical treatments we have
available for severe burns aren't too effective on wounds inflicted by
these particular weapons. Starfleet Command are very unhappy about our
recent casualty levels and I'm sure that both of us share their
concerns, especially now that DS9 has committed some of our own
vessels to undertake border patrol runs. Our people might come up
against the Klingons in battle very soon now. As you've now completed
your research project, I think you should have time to look into this.
I want you to try and come up with an effective treatment for pak'dar
rifle burns as quickly as possible."

"Of course, I'd be happy to."

The other man gave Bashir a fiercely disapproving glare. "The correct
way to reply to me would be 'Yes sir'," he snapped.

Julian quickly checked out the other man's uniform pips. He was a
Commander, so it would probably be wise to do as he was told. "Yes
sir," he replied formally, standing to attention.

"That's better. You may be... associated... with one of the most
important men in this quadrant, but that doesn't mean you get any
special treatment around here. You're only a Lieutenant, remember. I
am your superior officer and you will do as you are told."

Julian felt his temper rising but didn't let it show. "I neither
expect nor desire any special treatment, sir."

"You'd better not. I'll see you right after the situations briefing in
my office to discuss this matter in more detail. That's all."

"Yes, sir." Julian watched resentfully as the man walked away.

"Receiving yet another reprimand, Doctor?" said an amused voice from
behind him. "Commander Androvski's insistence on enforcing strict
military discipline is not always compatible with your more relaxed
approach, I fear."

Yet another person that Julian didn't know, but who definitely knew
him. This time it was a Cardassian male, about thirty years old and
surprisingly, he too wore a Starfleet uniform. Julian correctly
deduced that he was Glinn Remaq, the science officer. The man was
smiling cheerfully at him, and Julian allowed himself to relax a
little.

"I don't think that the Commander and I are ever going to be best
friends," Julian said ruefully. He was pretty certain of that, even
after only two minutes of conversation with Androvski.

The Cardassian giggled. "That's an understatement. I thought you two
were going to come to blows the other day over that injured Breen
prisoner. Just as well the Commander works in Ops most of the time,
and you work in the Infirmary... keeps you well out of each other's
way!"

"But you have to put up with him for much of the day. A science
officer spends a lot of time in Ops, after all."

Remaq shrugged. "I used to work for a Gul who was just as tough as
Commander Androvski, if not more so. The secret with people like that
is to give them exactly what they want... then complain about them
endlessly to your friends and family afterwards to let off steam! And
besides, I'm only here on a skills exchange placement; I go home in
eight months. You, on the other hand, are permanently appointed to DS9
- unless you apply for a transfer to another planet for personal
reasons, of course. Oh by the way, changing the subject completely,
the deloa flowers are in bloom on Cardassia at the moment. Such a
spectacular display they make, you really should see them... Did you
know that it's traditional on my planet to decorate the family home
with deloa flowers on your wedding day?"

The Cardassian had a grin on his face a mile wide. Julian knew
good-natured teasing when he heard it and responded in kind. "Don't
you start! I have had it up to here today with people telling me that
I should marry Dukat. I'd love to be left alone so that I could decide
on the matter for myself."

"But Julian - what if you make the wrong decision? I'd hate to have to
kidnap you and smuggle you into Cardassia; I might get asked to pay
excess baggage..."

"You could always tell the vessel's crew to charge me to Dukat's
account. I'm sure he'd willingly cover your expenses," Bashir told the
Cardassian with a smile.

Remaq smirked. "He'd probably have me promoted on the spot as well.
The idea commends itself to me. You know that Quark has a betting pool
on about your marriage? Everyone has placed a wager on it. I've bet
ten strips that you'll say yes, but Quark says Androvski put down a
four bar bet that you won't do it, and that Kira was furious with him
when she heard about it. She's got three bars bet on the marriage
going ahead, and Dax has bet at least five! Everywhere I go, people
are having will he/won't he? conversations. You are *the* talking
point of DS9, Julian..."

"How very pleasant," Julian commented sarcastically. "Remaq, let me
ask you a question. Are the Cardassian people happy with the way
things are at home?"

"In what way?"

Julian wasn't quite sure himself of what he was trying to ask.
"Well... do they like their present system of Government, and
Cardassia's new political and social culture?"

Remaq blinked. "Is this your way of asking me if Senator Dukat is a
popular leader? If so, I assure you that he is. His constant fight to
establish civil rights and true democracy is greatly admired by most
of our people. We know that he is not corrupt or power-hungry. He is a
leader that we can really trust, and such people do not come along too
often. Julian, our people are reborn because of him!"

"That's a very sweeping statement," Bashir said quietly.

"But a true one. Oh, there are some who try to cling to the old ways,
it's true... but they are few in number, and growing fewer all the
time. Attitudes are changing, Julian. Before Dukat and his supporters
stood up to the ruling elite and spoke out, it was considered
acceptable to exploit Bajor and its people. Now, we know better. And
we have tried hard to make amends. You know, when I first came here, I
was very scared. I worried endlessly about what it would be like to
live on a station which had once been despotically ruled by my own
people."

"Really?" Julian said, highly curious.

"Oh, yes. I know that we are officially allied to Bajor, but despite
the efforts of Dukat and the other Cardassian resisters during the
occupation to help these people, I feared that they would despise me.
But the Bajorans have a capacity for forgiveness which humbles us all.
If they can tell that any Cardassian is truly sorry about the past,
they reach out their hand without hesitation. Only when they see a
pretence of sorrow, faked merely to seem in step with Dukat's
progressive thinking, are they angered. My father came here twenty
years ago to fight and to oppress. It pleases me always that I am able
to live here peacefully; it's a symbol of how far we have advanced.
Are you worried about the publicity?"

"Publicity?" Julian was confused by Remaq's conversational leap.

"The publicity that you would get if you married Dukat, I mean.
Endless requests for interviews, regularly being watched and
photographed. As the husband of Cardassia's leader, you would always
be noticed wherever you went."

Julian cringed. "That would be awful! I value my privacy very much,
and I would hate to feel that I was living under a microscope."

"I can understand that, but to some degree you'd have to sacrifice
your privacy if you became the Senator's husband. On the other hand,
you would also always get a table in a busy restaurant and you'd never
have to buy a round of drinks again," Remaq joked.

Julian laughed. "Well, that would be some compensation. Look, I'd
better go. See you later?"

"Of course. I look forward to hearing your presentation at today's
situations briefing."

"*What?*"

"Your presentation to summarise the results and recommendations of
your completed research project... surely you hadn't forgotten about
it?"

Julian flashed him an unconvincing imitation of a confident smile. "Of
course not. I was just getting it, er, mixed up with something else.
Bye for now, have to go!" He walked off at top speed.

"Is this the effect that one night with Senator Dukat always has on
you, Doctor?" Remaq called after him. "After he has been here for a
few nights, will you even remember your own name?"

"Haha, funny joke!" Julian replied sarcastically as he managed to jump
into a turbolift the second before the doors closed. He blushed
fiercely as he heard Remaq's full, knowing laughter echo along the
promenade after him and saw the turbolift's other occupants all
smirking to each other.

---

Back in his quarters, Julian quickly checked the chronometer. It was
now 10.55, so he had only three hours to prepare for both the
situations briefing and his next encounter with Commander Androvski.
Julian fervently hoped that his alternate self had already collated
his project notes, for if not then he would be in trouble. But luck
was on his side for once. A full briefing paper on the completed
research project was on file, along with presentational materials and
supporting notes.

He read through all the data just the once; with his photographic
memory that would be enough. However, as this research project was not
one which he had undertaken in the original timeline, Julian had to
carry out some further background reading. He did not intend to be
caught out by any obscure questions which might be asked of him during
the briefing. Julian worked through lunch, taking a break only once,
when he was commed by Dukat. The Cardassian asked him to dinner that
night at Japavya, one of the Cardassian restaurants on the promenade.
Julian gladly accepted the invitation, seizing the chance to become
more acquainted with the other man in a reassuringly neutral setting.
They agreed to meet at the restaurant by 19.30 hours.

After that, Julian tried to get back to work but his concentration was
disrupted. He was unsure of the right way to treat Dukat. How did one
approach such a unique situation? The Cardassian had been in a
relationship with him for a year now, one that he himself had no
memory of, thanks to Q. So from Julian's point of view, it had never
really happened at all. That being the case, why not just tell Dukat
tonight that it was over between them and forget the whole thing?

Because of all the times that he had fantasised about finding Dukat in
his bed and his heart, because of this morning's sweet kisses, because
Dukat had in some way fundamentally changed for the better... because
he didn't want to.

"Computer; scan my personal log entries and notify number of entries
which include the word 'Dukat' in the last twelve months."

"There are three hundred and thirty one separate log entries matching
specified search parameters."

"Display most recent entry on screen." Julian sat forward and watched
the monitor with intense curiosity.

---
Bashir's face looked pensive as he dictated the log entry.

"Well, here I am again. Things haven't changed since my last
recording. Dukat says I should take all the time I need to think about
getting married. I felt guilty when he told me that; he's so patient
with me and I've kept him waiting for so long. I mean, shouldn't I
leap at the chance to be his husband? There are a lot of women, and
more than a few men, who wonder how I ever managed to win his heart.
He's a hot catch these days, so I'm told. A person could feel quite
inferior, so dull and lifeless next to such a bright star. I think I'm
in one of those
what-can-he-possibly-see-in-me-because-I'm-so-damn-worthless moods
today. It's because he's been away so long, probably."

"But when I see him next week, I know he'll take me in his arms and
then everything will be different. He'll show me in a million
different ways that, to him, I'm the bright star and he's the
fortunate one to have found someone like me. I have never in my whole
life been so worshipped, so adored, so cared for. If only he could
stop gossiping about me to everyone he knows like I'm a news headline,
I'd say he's pretty damn perfect! And right now I think I would
sacrifice anything just to wake up tomorrow morning and find him lying
there right next to me." ---

With a smile on his face, Julian got back to work.

---

Several hours later, a very relieved Julian Bashir returned once again
to his quarters, pulled off his shoes and threw himself down on the
sofa. It had been a tough afternoon and he was glad of a break. The
situations briefing had turned out to be a top-level assembly of
Federation and Cardassian representatives to discuss pressing alliance
issues, mainly security-related. Over fifty people had been present in
DS9's largest conference room. Of course Julian had not known most of
them, nor had he been aware if he was supposed to know them, which
made him feel both nervous and uncomfortable.

It had been a considerable ordeal for Julian to make a presentation on
a subject about which he had known nothing until a few hours
previously. He'd stumbled a little at first and had been afraid that
he would lose it, but Dukat's attention had been focused only on him
throughout, his warm smile boosting Julian's confidence. He'd regained
his momentum and ended up making a reasonable presentation. Not his
best ever but good enough, because all of his recommendations were
then approved by a unanimous vote. And at the end of it, as Colonel
Kira thanked him for all his hard work, Julian had felt warmed by
Dukat's evident pleasure and pride in him.

The discussion with Commander Androvski afterwards had been less
agreeable. Julian had stood to attention during the whole of their
talk, right next to a seat which he was pointedly not invited to
occupy. Androvski himself had sat in a comfortable chair and watched
him fixedly the whole time. Julian suspected that this treatment was
meant as a punishment, possibly retaliation for the incident with the
wounded Breen which Remaq had referred to earlier. The conversation
was conducted more in the style of an inquisition, with Androvski
asking all of the questions and then carefully noting down many of
Julian's answers.

But although the Commander was formal in the extreme, Julian
thankfully concluded that he did not seem to be a sadist. Androvski
willingly accepted his suggested methods for conducting research on
the new Klingon weapon, then set him a reasonable deadline to do so.
He also gruffly informed Bashir that if this project was completed as
competently as the previous one, then he would be more than satisfied.
The Commander ended the interview by insisting that there was no
obligation for Julian to start work on it until his leave was ended,
as he'd been working very hard over the past few months and needed a
few days off.

Julian got up and replicated himself a Raktajino. Never mind rest, he
would need to spend the next few days equipping himself to survive
here. There was so much to do, so much to learn. If he was to both
keep his secret and function as a professional in this strange new
timeline, he would have to pick things up quickly. Today, he'd been
lucky and got through it without any problems, despite a few small
slips. Other days he might not be so lucky - and if a doctor made a
mistake, the results could be fatal. The rest of his leave would have
to be devoted to intensive study. Medical records, research, personal
logs, DS9 standard procedures, galactic history, Starfleet protocols;
in fact, anything and everything which could be different than it used
to be He would not spend a waking moment away from the computer,
Julian decided.

"Hah! What about that cosy little dinner you agreed to go on with
Dukat tonight?" Q said mockingly, as he arrived with the usual burst
of light and lack of warning.

"Dammit Q, can't you knock or something?" Julian said with irritation.

"I never knocked for Jean-Luc or Kathryn so why should I do it for
you, you little upstart!"

"Maybe because I asked so very nicely," Julian replied with a smile.
"And who's Kathryn, anyway? Don't tell me you're being unfaithful to
Captain Picard already!"

Q rolled his eyes. "Definitely not. Do I look desperate? Don't worry
about her anyway, she's ancient history. Let's talk about Dukat
instead, shall we? You and he seem to be getting on so very well
together. I hope you'll let me be one of your bridesmaids, Julian. I
look fabulous in satin or lace... in fact I look fabulous in almost
anything. I'll even make a speech which will  have'em rolling in the
aisles!"

"You're not funny, Q," Julian frostily remarked.

"You only think so because this is happening to you. You'd find it
hilarious if it was someone else's problem," Q pointed out.

"I probably would," Julian reluctantly agreed. "But Q... he seems to
really care about me."

"Don't be so shy of using the appropriate word, Julian. He *loves*
you. He wants to marry you. Having spent some time in your company I
have no idea why, but he does."

"Do you always feel the need to insult other people?"

Q smiled. "You should take it as a compliment. The more I insult you,
the more I'm thinking about you."

Julian had no idea what to make of that, so he decided to get back to
the subject of Dukat. "Q, I'm not the man that Dukat fell in love
with. I'm not that same Julian Bashir who lived for seven years on
this DS9. He loves someone else but he doesn't know it."

"Rubbish! He loves *you*, Doctor. I explained all this to you before.
The fact that you don't recall your previous history with Dukat
doesn't cancel it out. Perhaps you should watch some of the recordings
you both made of your more athletic sex sessions. That might help you
to get in the mood for him, don't you think?"

Julian blushed. "I know that my alternate self shared a sexual
relationship with Dukat. I don't know enough about how he, I mean I,
felt about him. I'm going to check more of the personal logs later."

"I'm not good with 'later'," Q remarked briskly. "I'll tell you this
for a fact; in this timeline you returned Dukat's love with a
vengeance. You were stalling on the marriage issue for only two
reasons. Firstly, you didn't want to leave your job and your friends
here. Secondly, you were worried about the living arrangements when
you moved to Cardassia."

"How so?"

"You know that several generations of a Cardassian family usually
inhabit the same house?"

"Yes, I've heard that."

"Well, in the Dukat family abode there currently resides a total of
thirteen people. Dukat himself of course, and your most interesting
friend Mr. Garak. Also we have his sweet but dim wife Ziyal and their
as yet unborn child. Then there's Dukat's mother and father, and his
former wife's father. Dukat offered his ex-father in law a home
recently because the man's own family are all dead and he had nowhere
else to live. Dukat's two male children from his first marriage -
Saxan and Juldar - are there too. Saxan has a wife called Framos and a
three year old son, Gornas. Juldar is single but soon to marry; he'll
bring his wife to live in the house after the wedding, of course. And
finally there are two live-in staff, a housekeeper and a maid, which
makes thirteen in all."

Julian winced. "That is rather a lot of people for one house. I can
see why I was worried about it. If I set up home with someone, I'd
really want to be alone with them, at least for a while. And I need my
space. Don't they get under each other's feet all the time?"

"Well, it is a big house, so there's plenty of room for everybody to
spread out. With Dukat's current salary and a financial contribution
from his father, they could afford to find somewhere decent to live
in. But to a Human like yourself, the whole idea would seem rather
invasive. You creatures do value your privacy so."

Julian stiffly nodded, slightly offended at being called a creature.
"I see now why Garak said earlier that he'd spend time with me on a
daily basis if I moved to Cardassia. But I suppose if that ever
happened, not that it would of course, but hypothetically... they'd
all resent me being there. Cardassians can be quite xenophobic at
times."

"That was BJI," Q commented airily. "Before Julian Interfered. These
days they've learned to get along with aliens a lot better. Dukat has
very effectively highlighted to them that the best way to lose
everything is to stand alone, and the best way to survive is to stand
together with others. Since the alliance with the Federation kicked
in, Starfleeters have gained new respect in Cardassian eyes. I think
you'd find yourself quite warmly welcomed, as it happens. Ziyal was,
when she arrived."

Julian blinked in surprise. Something that Q had told him a few
minutes ago had only just sunk in properly. "Q, you said that Dukat's
mother *and* father live with him, but that's not supposed to happen.
His father was executed years ago; I've heard Dukat talk about it
myself. Garak had something to do with it, I think. So how can Dukat's
father be alive now?"

Q looked at him with evident irritation. "Have you forgotten what you
actually did? You took time itself in your hands and reshaped it,
Doctor! If Dukat's father is alive when he wasn't before, so what?
Really, you will have to stop looking for the reasons behind every
little change, otherwise you'll be looking for them all your life."

Julian considered this for a few moments. "You're right. I need to get
used to it and start living as if I belong here," he admitted
grudgingly.

"Absolutely, and you could best do that by *not* trying to put
everything right. You can't fix it all, you know. Getting Nog an
education, finding Odo - what will it be next, I wonder? Maybe
stealing a shuttlecraft, going to Kronos and telling the Klingons that
really they shouldn't fire on Federation ships any more because
they're actually supposed to be nice people?"

Julian looked at Q murderously. He bitterly resented the fact that Q
must have been reading his mind, or he wouldn't know about his plans
for Odo. "Nog's father is dead because of me, Q. I know all too bloody
well that I can't put everything right."

Q's expression softened. "I suppose you do at that. It's never easy
doing a Q's job, is it? And sadly, people never appreciate you like
they should. I often feel highly undervalued myself. It's very
demoralising."

"My heart bleeds for you," Julian replied acidly.

"Less of the attitude, boy, or I'll turn you into vole's dish du jour
just for the fun of it," Q threatened him.

"I'm sorry," Julian muttered. The belligerence in his tone
contradicted his words but Q decided to let that pass.

"Julian, let me give you a little tip. If I were you, my dear boy, I
would look for the proverbial silver lining whenever you get depressed
about this sort of thing. For example, let me tell you how Rom died.
He was on a transport vessel returning from Bajor when a plasma coil
exploded, causing a chain reaction which destroyed the ship five
minutes later. Just after the first blast occurred, Rom was running to
find an escape pod along with everyone else when he heard people
screaming for help. He followed the sound and discovered a group of
terrified Bolians who were trapped by fallen metal girders. A wave of
fire was steadily moving towards them and their lives were in imminent
danger. Rom quickly fetched some tools from the engine room and
managed to prise apart the metal girders just enough so that they
could escape. As he was about to follow them, there was another
explosion, the ceiling collapsed and Rom was buried under it. The
seven Bolians all escaped from the ship just before it finally
exploded."

Julian smiled faintly. "I'm glad that Rom died a hero's death, and
that those Bolians were saved. And I'll still do what I can for Nog,
if only as a mark of respect for his father. But I promise not to play
the superhero and try to fix it all. I know I can't."

"You'd better mean it," Q told him firmly.

"I do. I really do. Now if you'll just excuse me for a second, I want
to check the computer for information on Dukat's father."

"You won't find any real answers there," Q told him tantalisingly.

"Then tell me yourself."

Q grinned. "Well, since I happen to think that Dukat is the perfect
mate for you, I'll explain it this once. It's all to do with your move
against the Pah-wraiths."

Julian looked unconvinced. "Q, that's impossible. I know that Dukat
worked for the Pah-wraiths towards the end of the Dominion war, but
that was many years after his father died. And while we're talking
about Dukat, why the hell does he have such a different personality
now anyway? According to the computer he actually helped the Bajorans
out during the occupation, which frankly I cannot believe! Nothing I
did could cause that kind of change in him. There must be some
mistake."

Q smiled mysteriously. "Not so, my dear boy. You caused Dukat's
behavioural makeover, and you saved his father's life too, simply by
preventing the Pah-wraiths from getting loose."

"But how could that be?"

"To understand it, we first need to consider the fate of Captain
Sisko. Or "the Sisko" as those Prophets so liked to call him. You
know, I have a thousand times more power than those puny little
Prophets, so why didn't the Bajorans ever worship me?"

"Because they knew that your ego is quite big enough already?" Julian
said with a grin.

"Haha! I bow before your amazing wit. Do you remember when Benjamin
Sisko found out the true identity of his mother?"

"Yes, he told us all about it once. It was when he returned to Earth
for a while. His mother was possessed by a Prophet who made her marry
Sisko's father."

"Indeed. That was part of the Prophets' preparations for the battle
against the Pah-wraiths, a battle which they had always known would
take place at this point in time. They needed the right man, in the
right place, at the right time, to serve them. He was so necessary to
them that they even brought about his conception. But in this timeline
there has been no epic battle between these two races, nor will there
ever be. The Pah-wraiths are no threat to the Prophets now because
*you* prevented them from ever being so by imprisoning them for
eternity. And as a result, the Prophets didn't need to create an
Emissary to fight for them. In fact, if you look at the Bajoran holy
texts now, you won't find a single reference to the Emissary. He just
wasn't needed."

"So Captain Sisko was never conceived because the Sarah prophet never
went to Earth, and so the Sisko's never got married..."

"That's right. Joseph Sisko did marry, but later in life and not to
the same woman. His alternate wife didn't want any children and he
respected her wishes."

"Q, I feel dreadful about this whole thing. Young Jake Sisko had his
whole life before him, and Captain Sisko was in his prime, with a new
family to care for. I took their lives away. It's almost murder."

Q looked at him, not wholly unsympathetic. "Not murder; you didn't do
it deliberately. And anyway, by Human standards they were both
honourable men. I think they would have willingly given their lives up
to save so many other people, don't you?"

Julian thought hard about this. "Yes, I think they would have," he
admitted. And that too was a consolation. The guilt backed off again,
although Julian had no doubt that it would be back before too long.

"So don't feel bad about the Sisko's because it's a waste of time.
Now, let's get back to that Cardassian, hmm? He can certainly smooch,
I'll say that much for him. Talk about a wake up call!"

"You were watching us?" Julian said with shock.

"What was I supposed to do, wait for you to write up the scene in your
autobiography? Of course I was watching you. I had hoped that he'd
take it further but duty called, unfortunately. So, let's have another
history lesson. In your universe Dukat was Sisko's nemesis, the big
bad evil villain, the stuff of children's nightmares and adults' worst
fears, right?"

"Er... right."

"But here's a fact that you don't know. It's something that Dukat
never found out for himself. The Pah-Wraiths, like the Prophets,
started to gear up for the big showdown a long time in advance. They
chose Dukat before he was born to be their physical tool, to bring
them victory. As their chosen one, Dukat was carefully manipulated all
his life by the Prophets, but decidedly not to his own advantage. They
hurt him and they kept on hurting."

"But why?"

"To lead Dukat to the moment in time when he would decide of his own
free will to serve the Pah-wraiths. Little did he realise that they
pushed him into that decision, every step of the way."

"You mean they took possession of him?" Julian said.

"No, not until the very last minute and even then he chose to be
possessed. The Pah-wraiths had found through experience that someone
who was forcibly possessed could often repel their possessor
eventually, as they learned more about the entity's strengths and
weaknesses. But the Pah-wraiths needed to be absolutely sure that they
could rely on Dukat's consensual obedience when the time came.
Therefore he had to *want* to be possessed, and to get a Cardassian
into that state of mind required an immense amount of hard work on
their part."

"But if they were restricted to the Bajoran fire caves and he spent
much of his life on Cardassia, I don't see how they could harm him
that much," Julian protested mildly.

Q threw up his hands in disgust. "Are you restricted to living on DS9?
Of course not, so why shouldn't they be able to go to Cardassia?
Imbecile!"

"But on Cardassia, nobody believed in entities like the Pah-wraiths,"
Julian said in his own defense.

"Yes, but that just made it easier for them. Who would have dared
admit it if they encountered a Pah-wraith? Everyone would laugh at
them, or worse. For many years, a small colony of Pah-wraiths secretly
lived on Cardassia, purely to shape Dukat's life their way. They often
influenced those close to him, planting insistent thoughts in
subconscious Cardassian minds which quickly turned into conscious
desires. Sometimes they used possession as a weapon as well."

"Q... what happened to Dukat that was so very bad?"

"You want examples? Then have some. They made very sure that he was
lonely and friendless as a child. His father was often kept away from
home on business, his mother was led to dislike him and he was bullied
and unpopular at school. When he was eighteen years old, Dukat was
brutally raped by three possessed male Bajorans who worked on
Cardassia as forced labourers. The Pah-wraiths also saw to it that
nobody believed Dukat when he tried to report the assault. That meant
he never got any help to deal with the trauma of it. From that day on,
Dukat bitterly hated all Bajorans, although he became very skillful at
hiding his true feelings towards them."

"That is a horrific thing to do to anyone," Julian said, shocked. "I'm
surprised Dukat was even able to come to Bajor when he was appointed
as its Prefect."

"He didn't want to, but as a soldier he didn't have a choice. And that
little list was just the start of it, Doctor. There were many other
incidents, too many to recount. The Pah-wraiths tampered with him in
some way every day of his life. They gave him things or people to
love, then took them away; it's a simple but surprisingly effective
technique. The Pah-wraiths killed Tora Neprem and Kira Meru. The
Pah-wraiths turned Dukat's family against him and ended his military
career. The Pah-Wraiths directed Damar, making sure that his aim was
true, the day he shot Ziyal. And the Pah-wraiths helped to push
Cardassia into the war, which set up the final conflict with Sisko and
killed off everyone else that Dukat cared about. It was an endless
parade of painful humiliations and losses, one on top of another.
Eventually, Dukat was filled with bitterness and hatred. He chose to
join the Pah-wraiths in the hope of finding the unconditional
happiness which had always eluded him. The man never knew that he was
serving the same entities who were the cause of his misery."

"Oh dear me no," Julian whispered. He was sickened by Q's words.

"Don't sound so worried, Doctor," Q replied flippantly. "That's all
irrelevant now. The Pah-wraiths couldn't touch Dukat this time around,
thanks to you. And as a result he grew up without being misused, which
is why he has such a different personality now. The Dukat of this
timeline naturally evolved into a good person, a compassionate
individual, a man who really cares about others. A man who didn't hate
the Bajorans, so he saved as many of them as he could during the
Occupation. A man who has suffered for the causes that he believed in
and never gave self-advancement a priority in his life. And of course,
he's also a man who has fallen in love with a certain Starfleet
doctor..."

"I *do not* want to talk about that," Julian stated firmly.

Q smirked. "My dear Doctor, I do understand your reluctance to rub up
against his scales. After sharing a bed with the magnificence that is
me, anyone else would be a complete disappointment to you."

"Oh, absolutely," Julian said dryly. "And may I remind you that after
all that talking, fascinating though it was, you *still* haven't
explained to me why Dukat's father is alive today."

"And may I remind *you* that you do have a brain, and with the
information that I've given you thus far, it should be child's play
for you to figure out the rest yourself! If this is what you're like
now, I'd hate to have had a conversation with you before you were
genetically enhanced..."

"I just knew you were going to bring that up sooner or later," Julian
said with bitterness.

Q pouted. "Did you? How disappointing; I hate being predictable. But
since you seem to have lost the ability to make logical deductions, if
you ever had it, I'll fill in the gaps once more. Dukat's father
possessed some liberal political views, which could be very dangerous
for a Cardassian in that era. He would often speak out privately to
his friends and family, condemning the actions of Cardassia's leaders.
But because he was a good family man, an efficient military officer
and so on, he never said these things except to people he trusted. And
they never reported him to the authorities, knowing that he didn't
mean any harm and it was all just talk. Dukat senior wasn't the sort
of man to risk his career and the safety of his loved ones by taking a
stand. But then one day, a certain Elim Garak was invited to dinner at
the Dukat family residence."

Julian's ears pricked up at the mention of Garak's name. "Was this
during the time when Garak was an Obsidian Order agent?"

"Yes. Garak and Dukat had become friends when they worked together for
a time on a murder case. The Pah-wraiths didn't like this friendship
because it made Dukat happy. They intended to bring it to an end, and
soon they found the perfect way to do so. That evening, Dukat's father
got a little drunk and said some negative things about Cardassia's
stance on certain political issues. Garak knew enough about his
friend's father not to take any of it seriously. However, the
Pah-wraiths recognised a golden opportunity and made full use of it.
One of them possessed Garak, just for long enough to make him report
Dukat's father to Enabran Tain. In due course he was interrogated,
sent to trial and convicted of expressing treasonous beliefs. His
execution swiftly followed."

"No wonder Dukat hated Garak so much from then on..."

"Oh, quite. But it was a strategically vital move for the Pah-wraiths
to deprive Dukat of his beloved father and his new friend at the same
time."

"But why didn't Garak tell Dukat afterwards that he'd been possessed
by a Pah-wraith, and therefore what happened wasn't really his fault?"

Q roared with laughter. "Do you actually think that Dukat would have
believed that? Not a chance! But anyway, Garak didn't understand what
had been done to him, and he was too afraid to tell anyone about it in
case they thought he was mentally ill. He didn't know anything about
the Pah-wraiths; no Cardassian did, back then. Garak said nothing
about it and accepted the loss of Dukat's friendship as the price he
would have to pay for keeping silence."

"So after I changed things, Garak didn't report Dukat's father and
thus he wasn't executed for treason. Which explains why those two can
be good friends this time around. Wow!"

"Wow indeed," Q replied with a tolerant smile. "In this version of
history, it was Dukat who persuaded Garak to leave the Obsidian Order
and change to a more ethical career. His resignation from the Order
led to Garak being exiled from Cardassia on the orders of Enabran
Tain, who hated losing his best operative. Nobody was allowed to walk
away from Tain, not even his own son. It was only after a Breen
intelligence agent assassinated Enabran Tain that Garak was able to
return home."

Julian sighed. "I had no idea that the Pah-wraiths were responsible
for so much evil."

"Don't talk so foolishly, Doctor. Of course you did; why else would
you have taken such pains to act against them?"

Julian looked surprised. "It just seemed like the right thing to do. I
suppose it was instinct."

Q snorted with derision. "Instinct, pah! Instinct is merely the Human
term for the perception of unseen forces which choose to touch your
humble little lives and make their presence felt. Because you don't
have the ability to communicate at their level, what they say to you
isn't fully understood. Perhaps it exists in your subconscious, or in
your dreams, or as a thought  of theirs which is disguised as one of
your own. Instinct is no more than a reaching, a struggle to decipher
what you aren't yet able or ready to comprehend."

Julian looked dubious. "Are you saying that an entity of some kind has
communicated with me and influenced my actions? That's very unlikely;
I'm not even a spiritual person."

"It's not about spirituality, although sometimes mortals choose to
perceive it as such. It's simply that your realm of existence and
theirs have briefly meshed, and the effects of that make a subtle
pattern in your life which your mind tries to interpret. When it fails
to do so, it feels the need to  categorise this happening, and so
calls it "instinct". Perhaps you'll have that kind of instinct again
one day."

"I wish I had it now," Julian replied gloomily, "then I'd know what to
do about Dukat. He thinks I'm going to marry him, Q. How can I? I
hardly know him."

"Then get to know him!"

"You are no help at all," Julian groaned.

"I didn't come here to help. Can't you think for yourself *at all*?
You made the problem, you sort it out," Q snapped.

"All right then, I will," Julian said irately.

"FINE!" Q yelled. They glared at one another.

Julian's anger was the quickest to fade. "Q... I'm sorry. I shouldn't
have argued with you. You've been good enough to explain to me all
about Dukat and Sisko, for which I'm very grateful."

"I thought you could probably use the information," Q commented
grudgingly.

"Definitely. There is one more thing that I'd like to know."

"What's that? How was the universe created, who does my hair, how many
blue spotted fish live in the seas of Bajor?"

"No... did you get together with Captain Picard?"

Q laughed. "I find the way that you Humans cling to your euphemisms to
be eternally amusing. What your dirty mind really wants to know is,
did we fuck and was it good?"

"I'd never dream of asking such intrusive questions as those, but if
you wanted to tell me..." Julian said hopefully.

"If I do, boy, it's only so that I can gloat about it! Yes we did
fuck, and yes it was very good. As a teacher, you just about made the
grade but little old moi, your star pupil, passed out with flying
colours. So yes - we "got  together". Several times, in fact. Would
you like to see? Vulcans aren't the only ones who can do mind melds,
you know..."

Julian shook his head firmly. "I think it might be better to keep
those memories to yourself. Captain Picard would doubtless prefer it
that way. I'm very happy for you both, Q. I hope that you two have a
wonderful relationship and that it lasts for many years to come."

"Oh, it will; I'll turn him into a Q when he dies, and then he'll
always be around to get on my nerves..."

"I bet you haven't mentioned that to him yet," Julian commented
shrewdly.

"I have to bring him round to the idea gradually," Q replied
defensively. "And now, I really think it's time for me to leave again.
I came forward in time to see you because I was curious. I left
Jean-Luc only an hour after... well, you know. He asked me to return
to the Enterprise as soon as possible. I think we're at what you
Humans call the honeymoon stage of our relationship. Knowing him,
it'll probably be over by the end of the day. He's very argumentative
and stubborn, you know. I really don't know why I tolerate him..."

Julian smiled. Despite everything Q said, he was quite sure that the
man loved Captain Picard with a passion. "You wouldn't really have let
me make any old change to the timeline, would you, Q? If I'd decided
to do something really bad, I think you would not have allowed it."

"Nonsense. My terms were very clear, Doctor. Your choice, your risk."

"Your terms were bullshit, frankly! You've taken far too much interest
in Humanity to let one person harm your pet project. I never had
unconditional power over the universe; I should have known that all
along."

Q blinked with surprise, then smiled. "You're more intelligent than I
gave you credit for. Yes, I would have rejected any destructive ideas
that you came up with. Fortunately, I liked your plans and was able to
go along with them. I didn't tell you all that because I wanted to see
how a relatively normal Human would react to the prospect of  being
given unlimited power. It's an experiment which fascinates me whenever
I try it. My previous test subjects have often jumped at the chance of
using that power to look after themselves. You didn't do that. Why
not?"

Julian didn't have to think about his answer. "It's like I said; I
haven't the right to be a Q. It was like walking on eggshells. And
morally, well... I just couldn't have lived with it."

"Saint Julian," Q said maliciously.

Bashir glared at him. "I'm no saint; I make my fair share of mistakes.
I didn't want to make a mistake this time, that's all."

"Well, you seemed to have done fairly well, for a novice," Q said
patronisingly.

"Thanks. Q, I hope you know that I do appreciate everything you made
possible."

"No regrets?" Q asked with a rakish smile.

"The jury's still out on that one, I'm afraid."

"You'll work it out. Au revoir, Mon Docteur!" And with a wave and a
grin, Q was gone.

Julian glanced at his clock. Damn, it was 19.00 hours already. He was
due to meet up with Dukat in thirty minutes. Just time to take a quick
shower and then change into some casual clothes. Bashir scampered off
to the bathroom, suddenly aware that he was feeling very excited about
his date.

---

At dinner, Dukat had proved to be a friendly and entertaining
companion. Julian's initial nervousness quickly faded, and the two men
had chatted away to each other almost non stop. After lingering over
every course, it was nearly three hours later when they left the
restaurant.

As they walked along the quiet promenade, Dukat suddenly yanked Julian
close and kissed him passionately. Just like the last time, Julian
didn't pull away. He knew this was crazy but he just didn't care. This
Dukat was a man that his body wanted with a vengeance. Although his
head was advising caution, his hormones were ignoring the warning and
steaming full ahead. When Dukat's hand lightly touched his ass he
moaned with pleasure, which encouraged the Cardassian to squeeze his
buttocks more tightly. It felt wonderful.

"You two are heading for a night in the brig if you don't cool it, and
in separate cells too," Colonel Kira warned them as she exited from a
nearby turbolift. The two men sprang apart quickly. Julian looked
humiliated at being caught, whereas Dukat was apparently amused.

Dukat bowed to Kira ceremonially, although his twinkling eyes belied
the formality of the gesture. "I ask your pardon, Colonel. I know it's
unacceptable to act so passionately in public. I assure you, it was my
fault entirely."

"Oh, I see," she said, giving him an ironic look. "So Dr. Bashir had
no say in the matter, did he? I assume you threatened him with a
phaser to make him submit to your unwelcome advances?"

Dukat heard the sarcasm in her voice and grinned. "Something like
that. I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's been several months
since I last visited Julian and I got carried away. I'm just hoping
that he won't decide to press assault charges," he said, with a
teasing glance at Bashir.

Kira rolled her eyes. "All right, you can spare me the feeble excuses.
Just take it to quarters, *if* you don't mind. Next time you both act
so stupidly, you might be observed by Commander Androvski; I doubt
you'd be let off with just a warning then, Doctor."

"Yes Colonel," Julian said hastily. "I'm sorry about this. It won't
happen again."

Kira sighed. "Senator Dukat, you are a very bad influence on the
Doctor. I only ever have to reprimand him about his conduct when you
are on station..."

Dukat feigned a look of pain. "Colonel, your jaundiced view of my
character hurts me, it really does. I think I shall go to my lonely
bed and cry. Possibly for hours."

"Oh, I don't think your bed will be as lonely as all that," Kira
commented dryly. "Good night to you both."

"Good night," they chorused as they watched her walk off.

"I think we should do as the good lady says and return to your
quarters," Dukat murmured. "I intend to show you exactly how much I've
missed you while we have been apart."

"Didn't you show me that last night?" Julian said shyly.

"Oh yes, but I must be completely sure that you got the message,"
Dukat said. The looks that he was giving Julian now were pure sex.
Bashir's legs felt almost too weak to carry him, but somehow he kept
on walking towards the turbolift. Julian knew that he could stop this
now, tell Dukat that he was tired, ill, stressed, not in the mood for
sex, whatever. An excuse could be found, if he wanted to find one...
but he did not. In some way he had already committed himself to Dukat,
and he had no intention of backing off now.

"I think that would be very wise," Julian said deliberately. "I'm not
sure that I got all of the details last night. There may be one or two
important points which you need to go over again..."

Dukat grinned. "It would be my pleasure," he replied softly

As they approached the door to his quarters, the pounding of Bashir's
heart intensified. His brain was churning out erotic images of Dukat
at an incredible rate, as if to remind him of what he had lusted over
for so long. His breathing had quickened and his penis was getting
harder by the second. Dukat's desire for him was equally pressing,
Julian could tell. The two men entered the room without a word spoken.
A moment later, when Dukat took Bashir's hand and led him into the
bedroom, it felt the most natural thing in the world to allow himself
to be led.

---

Bathed in a rosy post-coital glow of contentment, Julian and Dukat
snuggled close together in bed. Julian was feeling totally
overwhelmed. Never in his life had he been made love to with such
sensuality. He had every intention of getting the Cardassian hard
again before the night was ended; once just wasn't enough.

"What happened to that master/slave scene that we were going to play
out tonight?" Dukat asked him in a vaguely curious voice. "You said
yesterday that you wanted me to take a submissive role tonight, but
then you didn't go through with it. Did you change your mind?"

Julian tensed up immediately. He was starting to hate this constant
need to think on his feet, even now when he was lying on his back. As
for the master/slave reference, Julian's previous sexual liaisons had
never encompassed this kind of fantasy, so he didn't know how to
respond. It was somewhat unnerving to find himself having what seemed
to be a more adventurous sex life than he'd wanted before.

"Yes, I did change my mind," Julian replied hastily. "That didn't
bother you, I hope? Sorry, I should have mentioned it at the start."

Dukat smiled at him reassuringly. "Of course it didn't bother me,
although I admit that I was quite looking forward to being severely
paddled for being a disobedient slave! I'm sure I would have needed a
punishment for something... I've tried applying discipline when I'm
alone but it just isn't any fun. When you spank me, I consider the
experience to be incredibly moving and erotic, yet when I do it to
myself it hasn't power to arouse me at all. I just feel ridiculous and
self-conscious, then I start laughing. Does the same thing happen to
you?"

"Er, well... can we talk about something else?" Julian said swiftly.

Dukat giggled. "Oh dear, I've embarrassed you. Sorry, Julian. I really
didn't mean to. I sometimes forget that Humans are not quite as
comfortable discussing sexual needs with their partners as we
Cardassians are."

"Oh, that's all right," Julian assured him. He was very conscious of a
sudden tightening in his groin; the idea of disciplining Dukat was
turning him on. Perhaps there was something to be said for being
master to a disobedient slave after all... "And to answer your
question, I've never tried to paddle myself so I don't know what it
feels like. In fact, I haven't had that much experience with paddles
at all."

Dukat smiled. "Sometimes I wonder what you used to do for fun before
we started dating, Julian," he teased.

"Oh, I had my moments..."

"But I very much doubt that you did anything which satisfied you as
much as being with me," Dukat cheerfully boasted as he gave Julian a
hug. "Am I not the best you ever had?"

Julian was about to try and concoct a diplomatic answer, but Dukat's
easy smile told him that this wasn't an issue for the other man,
merely playful banter. He grinned at the Cardassian. "You'll do until
something better comes along."

"Nice bluff, Julian."

"Thanks..."

"You seemed different tonight," Dukat said meditatively.

Julian tensed again. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing... I just thought that when we made love, you seemed less
confident than usual. It was as if you weren't quite sure of what you
were doing." Dukat noticed Julian's look of concern and misinterpreted
its cause. "Julian, I didn't mean that in a negative way. I loved
everything that you did to me; tonight has been perfect. I simply
wondered if there was anything wrong with you, or if you had something
on your mind which distracted you?"

Julian belatedly realised that engaging in the intimacy of a sexual
relationship could have jeopardised his secret. He had indeed been a
little hesitant at first. It was only natural to want to take it easy
when making love with someone for the first time, especially as his
knowledge of Cardassian sexual preferences was limited. But Dukat was
used to having sex with a Julian Bashir who had been his lover for a
year, a Bashir who knew his preferences and make love to him in a way
which he, a newcomer, could not. Julian hesitated before replying and
Dukat, worried that he had seriously upset him, applied yet more
reassurance.

"Please don't misunderstand me; I'm not meaning to criticise you,
Julian. There's nothing *to* criticise! I was just concerned that
sometimes you seemed a little nervous, as if you felt under pressure
in some way."

Dukat clearly needed either reassurance or an explanation, preferably
both. As Julian frantically tried to think of the right thing to say,
he remembered something which Garak had once told him; "Doctor, there
are several excellent ways to lie which people do not use as often as
they should. You can, for example, give someone a true answer to
question which is not quite the same one that they asked you.
Alternately, try answering by addressing the symptoms of an issue
rather than the cause; that's more superficial and thus less
revealing. And don't forget the old trick of answering part of a
question truthfully, and filling in the rest of your statement with a
lie..."

Mindful of Garak's advice, Julian spoke carefully. "I wasn't feeling
under pressure about us. I wanted to be with you tonight very much.
Perhaps it's just because I've had a tough day. Everyone seemed to
know things that I didn't; I felt a little out of it, you know? And
then I got lectured by Commander Androvski, which was tiresome in the
extreme. And finally, I made a big decision recently and I'm not quite
sure how it's going to turn out. So it's just that I've had a few
things on my mind - nothing for you to worry about, though."

Dukat visibly relaxed. "That's good. But you can talk to me about
anything, you know. I always want to hear about it when you're
troubled."

Julian smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate that."

"This big decision you made... was it about us?"

Dukat was looking at him hopefully. The word 'marriage' seemed to hang
in the air like a moth hovering over a candle flame. Julian felt
guilty about accidentally raising his hopes.

"No, it was something else entirely. I'm afraid I can't talk about
it."

Dukat looked disappointed but didn't pursue the subject further, much
to his relief. "Well Julian, tomorrow we have the whole day together,
and I intend to make sure that your troubles seem very far away."

"I'd like that. Dukat... would you do something for me?"

"Yes, of course. What is it?"

"Tell me about you."

"What would you like to know?"

"Everything! I know you've revealed a lot about yourself already, but
I'd like to learn more. Imagine that we never met before today. How
about giving me a summarised personal history, from birth right to the
present? The important moments of your life, I mean, including the
stuff that I know already. Would you mind doing that?"

Dukat chuckled. "I suppose not, if it's what you want. Ah, that famous
Human curiosity..."

Julian grinned, pleased that Dukat had agreed to his request without
asking any probing questions or becoming suspicious. "Everyone's
curious, Dukat; Humans just admit to it more willingly than most
people, that's all."

Dukat laughed. "Even most Humans don't have as much curiosity as you
do! So then, I'll address this in chronological order. You know that I
had a happy childhood, although I missed Father when he went away. But
during the occasions that he was home, he always spent as much time as
he could with me. Father was the one who taught me that that we lived
in a society where some people were dreadfully mistreated and suffered
terrible deprivations. Coming from a reasonably rich and secure family
as I did, I would not otherwise have been aware of that."

"Yours sounds like a rather insular childhood," Julian mused.

"In many ways, it was. We mostly socialised only with the 'suitable'
people and visited only the 'right' areas of the planet. But Father
regularly took me in secret to the worst slums and showed me the vast
disparity between rich and poor in our society. By the time we
returned home, I'd usually be crying. I would ask Father how we could
help those people and he'd tell me, his voice sad, that there was
nothing we could do. There too many of them, he said. It was
impossible for us to obtain enough power or money to make their lives
better. There were other ways, he said. Change would happen in time,
it just had to be gradual. We had to be patient, he said. I tried to
believe him, because he was my beloved Father... but I couldn't."

"Did you ever tell him how you felt?"

Dukat looked away. "Never. It would have terrified him to hear me talk
that way; even then, I knew that much. Father and I sometimes clashed
over the years but still, he was the one who taught me that it was an
injustice if any Cardassian didn't possess food, water, shelter or
freedom. I absorbed that belief and made it mine for always. Most
Cardassian parents failed to teach their children that lesson; instead
they merely reinforced prejudices which often predated the most
primitive technology. In my early years, my father was my absolute
hero. It was only when I was an older child that I started to perceive
the vast disparity between what he said and what he did. And from then
on, I was always disappointed in him..."

"Do you mean that your father was lying when he spoke to you about
those injustices?" Julian asked gently.

"Not that... he just didn't do anything to help anyone, or to stop
others from hurting anyone. He was all talk, Julian. I don't mean to
be disrespectful, but that's how it was. In private he'd tell close
friends and family how wrong our leaders were about everything that
mattered, how civil liberties were being eroded and something should
be done about it *now*... but in public, he said none of those things.
My father conformed with what was expected of him by the state in all
things. When I was a young man I almost hated him for it, but I never
said so. It would have hurt him dreadfully to know what was in my
heart. Still, I think that maybe he saw it anyway, because he has
always been a perceptive man. We never talk of such things, not even
now, so I can't say for sure. But I didn't understand back then that
he was petrified to do anything which might damage our family; his
primary concern was to protect us all."

"In view of all that, it seems strange to me that you also chose the
military as a career," Julian commented. The moment the words left his
mouth, he winced at their stupidity; this Dukat was a civilian, not an
army officer.

"In fact, I had the best of reasons for doing so," Dukat replied, much
to Bashir's surprise and relief. "The military was the place where all
the power was, back then. I followed Father into the army because I
wanted to make a difference, to do all the things which he had lacked
the courage to do. It was just after I finished my training that I met
my ex-wife, Disral. We dated for several months before marrying. To be
honest, she made all the running and I went along with it because I
was lonely and wanted a companion. I didn't love her, nor did she love
me, but neither of us were concerned about that. I warned her though,
right from the start, that I needed to fight for the causes which I
believed in. I emphatically stated that she shouldn't expect an easy
life if she chose to be with me."

"How did she respond to that?"

"Don't you remember me telling you about that conversation? Disral
said she'd never wanted an easy life, so why worry about it? But the
truth was exactly the opposite. She came from a poor family, and I
know now that she married me for my money. Not that I had much of it
then, but Father was fairly wealthy and she expected that when I rose
in the ranks, I would be wealthy too. She secretly hoped that she
could talk me out of any 'rash' actions which might hinder my career
progression. She was wrong, I'm afraid. Our marriage ended after two
years, just when she became pregnant with the twins." Dukat paused,
looking pensive.

"I hope I'm not upsetting you by making you recall these old
memories," Julian said anxiously.

Dukat immediately focused his attention back onto Julian and gave him
a cheerful smile. "Not at all. And besides, it's a good idea for us to
share our experiences this way. It will help to bring us closer. I'm
going to make you do the same for me some time soon."

Julian managed to smile. "That would be good. But not tonight, though
- tomorrow perhaps?" After he'd had time to read his service record
and every personal log he ever recorded, just to make sure that he got
the facts about his own life right...

"Tomorrow," Dukat agreed. "Anyway, to continue... I stayed in the army
for many years. Military service did not work out as I had hoped. I
soon learned that I could never rise to power unless I was willing
gain promotion by undertaking acts which were abhorrent to me;
destroying vessels, carrying out executions and so on. After refusing
several high profile assignments, my career stalled and I was assigned
nothing but routine administrative work from then on. I wanted to
resign from the military, but I had signed on for a thirty year term
and could not leave unless they dismissed me. And so I eventually
decided to use my position, humble though it was, to help others.
There were more than a few break-outs, information leaks and equipment
failures which were carried out by me. Fortunately, my superiors never
found  out who was responsible for any of that. I was quite effective
at covering my tracks. And then one day, I was posted to Terok Nor."

"As Prefect of Bajor?"

Dukat snorted with laughter. "Hardly! Julian, you are such a tease
tonight... I was still a humble Falon, just as I had been when I
finished my military training fifteen years before."

"What's a Falon?" Julian asked unthinkingly.

Dukat glanced at him quizzically. "The lowest Cardassian officer rank.
Didn't you know that, Julian? Surely you must have. Isn't Falon Wrakal
a friend of yours?"

Julian quickly tried to think of a way to cover up his error. "Oh,
sure. I was just going to... er, to tell you a joke, that's all. That
was the first line of it."

"Ah, I see. By all means continue then." Dukat waited expectantly.

Julian inwardly cursed himself for telling a lie which just caused him
more trouble. "Never mind, it's not important," he said hastily.

"Oh, but I want to hear it! Tell me Julian, what *is* a Falon?"

"It's, er... an incompetent new recruit who was doing weapons training
one day; he fired his gun straight upwards by mistake and the ceiling,
erm, Fal-on him," he improvised triumphantly.

Dukat groaned and rolled his eyes theatrically. "That's dreadful! Why
did I insist that you tell me that joke? Talk about an error in
judgement..."

Julian giggled, relieved to have got away with it. "Never mind, I
promise not to tell any more. Sorry to have distracted you from your
story. I suppose it must have been hard for you, never rising in the
ranks."

Dukat nodded, his face serious once more. "Many of the other officers
my age were Glinns or Guls by then, and some of them took great
pleasure in ordering me around at every opportunity. They detested the
fact that I would not touch the more 'unpleasant' parts of our job,
such as interrogating Bajoran suspects. I would have rather died than
act that way, but they interpreted it as a weakness. The prevailing
view at that time was that any man who committed brutalities in the
name of Cardassia was an efficient and capable man. But still, I was a
hard worker, quiet and seemingly respectful. Those in authority
decided to keep me there as a living example to others of what
happened to those who failed in their duty. I ran errands, cleaned up,
served as a valet and so on. Most Cardassians treated me as less than
dirt. They never socialised with me; nobody wanted to be seen in the
company of 'that loser Falon Dukat' if they could help it. It was a
solitary time, I have to admit."

"You had no friends, no lovers?" Julian queried gently.

"Only once, when a Bajoran woman offered herself to me. Her name was
Tora Neprem. I never knew why she chose me. I didn't love her but I
wanted the comfort that a lover can bring, so I was receptive to her
advances. After a few weeks, Neprem walked out on me; she told me she
had found a richer, better Cardassian provider, and so I was no longer
needed. It hurt at the time, but it wasn't the truth. She was pregnant
with our daughter Ziyal and didn't want me to find out about it. You
see, she knew that I was poor, because I sent almost all of my salary
home to Disral, to support her and the children. Neprem didn't want to
be another financial burden to me. It's such a pity... had she told
me, I would have helped her somehow. As it was, I never learned of
Ziyal's existence until she was grown up and came to find me. A great
shame," Dukat said sadly.

"Yes indeed," Julian replied lamely, not knowing what else to say.
"Dukat, what did your family think about your posting to Bajor?"

Dukat smiled ironically. "It didn't matter to Disral, as long as I
kept sending her money. As you know, she had divorced me as soon as it
became clear to her that I was not the one to supply the life of
luxury which she so yearned for. I didn't get to see either of the
boys very often, although we often spoke and I sent them messages
every day. They didn't seem to miss me that much. After all, they'd
grown up calling another man "Father", and I just seemed like a
distant relation to them," Dukat admitted.

"You must have hated life then," Julian said sympathetically.

"Yes. I felt so alienated. And at that time I hadn't yet met Garak, so
I had no friends. My parents had publicly disassociated themselves
from me to protect the rest of our family. They had to do it, I
understood that. But Julian... compared to the Bajorans, I had it
easy. It was heartbreaking, you know - watching those people stoically
endure so much pain. The very first  day that I set foot on Terok Nor,
I knew right away that I had to help them. It was clear to me that
here was my assigned purpose in life. They spoke to my soul, those
Bajorans, by every look and gesture, every expression on their faces.
I knew that it was my job to relieve their suffering as best I could."

"I wish more Cardassians had felt that way," Julian said, his voice
steeped in bitterness.

"Yes, but you have to understand that it took a long time for my
people to see how wrong it was for us to occupy Bajor. Attitudes and
beliefs are not unlearned overnight. When I was posted here and saw
the brutalities that my people perpetuated, I immediately made contact
with the resistance. I told them that I wanted to help. They were at
first very suspicious of me, naturally enough, but after a while they
agreed to give me a chance. Eventually I proved myself to them and I
was accepted into the resistance. I first met Colonel Kira during
those times, as you know. She was a feisty one, even then... Did I
ever tell you that she was the person who convinced  the rest of her
resistance cell that I was serious about my desire to aid the
Bajorans?"

"No, I didn't know that."

"Oh yes, it's true. I owe Nerys a lot, even though she always says
that it's the other way around. In the years to follow, I worked for
Bajor and it's people as much as I could without hurting my fellow
Cardassians. That was the only act of resistance which I could not
morally justify to myself. I knew the Bajorans were attacking my
people, and I didn't help them do it, but nor did I try and stop them.
Their planet was occupied and they did what they had to do. But under
no circumstances would I supply weapons, or pass on classified
information which could lead to Cardassian deaths. Instead I stole
food and medical supplies, secretly freed Bajoran political prisoners
and slave labourers, reunited family members, smuggled people off
Bajor to other safe planets and so on. But Julian, it only added up to
a small drop of aid, swallowed up inside the ocean of their
suffering."

"No, that's not true - you made a real difference," Julian said
approvingly.

Dukat smiled at him. "If so, then it was only because of the other
Cardassians who joined me. That was Kira's idea too, of course. She
said one day that if I wanted to help Bajor so badly, then surely
there must be others of my species who felt the same. And Kira was
right; there were. I just had to find them."

"But how did you do that?"

"Simple observation, mainly. Seeing how people reacted when some form
of brutality was planned or committed. Body language, tones of
voice... the slightest hesitation or objection to an order. It wasn't
much to go on, but it was all I had. And really, for such an
unscientific system it worked remarkably well. I would ask someone to
help us, they'd take some persuading but eventually they would say
yes. Then in time they'd ask a trusted friend of theirs to help us
too, who would ask another trusted friend of theirs... and so on. At
one stage there were over a thousand Cardassian men and women secretly
working in the resistance. Then we were *really* able to do some good,
with so many on our side. But we never directly harmed our own people,
not even once. Some of the Bajoran resistance members argued against
that policy, but I would not have it changed. The Cardassians needed
it; they would not have helped us otherwise. How could they? Their own
families often lived on Bajor too."

Julian was awed by this information. "Dukat, do you realise that
without you to inspire those thousand Cardassians and bring theminto
the resistance movement, there would have been nobody from Cardassia
aiding the Bajoran people at all?"

"Oh, I hardly think that's true," Dukat modestly protested. "Someone
else would have started the Cardassian wing of the resistance if I
hadn't been there, I'm sure."

"No," Julian replied softly, "they wouldn't."

"You think too much of me," Dukat said to him fondly.

"No, I value you with total accuracy. Those Cardassians needed someone
to make them sit up and actually do something about the situation, to
dare to take the risk. You had the ability to do that; nobody else
did. Believe me, I know"

"Well... maybe you're right. I'm not sure. Anyway, that's what
happened. You know, it was eight whole years before the Cardassian
authorities realised what I was up to. Our intelligence system wasn't
as efficient as it should  have been, and only when Garak was assigned
to investigate the rumours of Bajoran sympathisers did I get caught."

"Garak found you out?" Julian asked, wide-eyed.

"Uh-huh," Dukat replied with a surprisingly sentimental smile. "He
*is* the best, you know. I first met him when he arrived to arrest me.
During my interrogation, I asked to see him alone and immediately
admitted that I was guilty. Then I tried to persuade him to let me go.
It was very important to convince Garak of the valuable work we were
doing, and of how much it needed to continue."

"Just who was doing the interrogating here?" Julian said with
amusement.

Dukat laughed. "Him of course, officially. But you see... I'd seen the
signs in him, the same ones that I always looked for in potential
resistance members. When one of the guards started to hit me, it was
the look in his eyes - he wasn't comfortable with it. So, I went to
work on him."

"And how successful were you?"

Dukat grinned and his eyes twinkled. "If you ask Garak, he'd tell you
that he was in control the whole way and I was processed just like
anyone else. No special treatment, no favours... but it was strange
that such an able man as Garak didn't detect the fact that I was the
leader of the Cardassian resistance contingent. If that had been
revealed at my trial, I would surely have received the death penalty.
However, in Garak's report he stated that my involvement with the
resistance was entirely passive; a few non-violent protests and so on.
As a result, I was only sentenced to be dismissed from the military
and sent to a hard labour camp for five years."

"Still, that was a tough punishment they gave you."

"Yes," Dukat replied absently. "But the resistance went on, which is
the important thing. And the camp was where I got interested in
politics and formed the Democratic Fighters Party. Little could I have
known, on the day when our tiny group of five people was formed, that
one day we would all be part of the government. I expected nothing but
a brutal death from it. I now think that I underestimated the ordinary
Cardassian's desire for change. They wanted to do things differently
but they didn't know how. Those in charge looked entirely invincible
at first. When we were released from prison, we formally assembled a
political party and began campaigning. More and more people listened
to us. By then Bajor was free, but my people were not and I wanted
them to be. The authorities grew worried about us but the people were
on our side and Central Command were forced to agree to hold
elections. My party won, something which has never ceased to amaze
me."

"Which pretty much brings us up to date," Julian said.

"Ah no, we are only up to one year ago, when as Cardassia's newly
elected leader I came to DS9 for talks regarding the planned
Cardassia/Federation alliance. At the airlock door there was a full
guard of honour, and dozens of people had assembled to greet me. But
once I looked across at the group of DS9 senior staff, I had the most
terrible difficulty in tearing my eyes away from *you*."

"Did you really?" Julian asked shyly.

"Oh yes, my love. I barely heard anything that was said to me after
that. You looked so handsome, so sexy, but so very serious and
nervous. I made up my mind that I would speak to you before the day
was ended, and in a less public setting. And coincidentally, it was
that very day when I developed bad back pain and had to make a trip to
the infirmary!"

Julian grinned. "You are a most enterprising person, if I may say so."

"You may," Dukat replied with a grin. "But despite my persuasive
manner and generally charming personality, I cannot yet seem to
persuade you to become Dr. Julian Dukat, can I?"

"If I married you, *if*, I would keep my own name."

Dukat looked surprised. "That's not what you said when we spoke about
it the other week."

Julian gave him a hunted look. "I've changed my mind."

Dukat looked worried. "About the name, or about me?" Bashir said
nothing. "This is very difficult for me, Julian. I just need to be
reassured that you still love me, then you can have all the time you
want to decide about our future. Can you understand that?"

"I can understand it," Julian said slowly, "but I have to tell you, I
won't marry you right now."

Dukat was very still for a moment. "Have I done something wrong?" he
asked anxiously.

"No, not at all," Julian assured him. "It's all me. I have done
something. I can't tell you what it is but it's made a world of
difference to me."

"If it would help, I would be willing to resign from my post and come
to live here," Dukat said.

"I wouldn't want you to do that," Julian told him. "You have a family
to look after, not to mention an empire. You belong there, with your
own people."

"Does this mean that our relationship is over?" Dukat asked fearfully.

Julian considered this question. This man was a total stranger to him.
Even his looks weren't quite the same now, although he definitely
liked Dukat's long hair, in fact it was a definite turn-on. What
madness it had been, to sleep with him after knowing him less than a
day! But there was that indisputable feeling of belonging which he
felt every time Dukat was nearby. He'd been looking for love so long;
it would be stupid to push away the prospect of it now, just because
it had found him in a rather unusual way.

<He had said to Q; "He thinks I'm going to marry him, Q. How can I? I
hardly know him."

And Q had replied: "Then get to know him!">

Julian smiled as he looked at Dukat. "No - it's not over. I am worried
because we've never lived on the same planet, never been with each
other on a daily basis. Sometimes that makes me feel as if we're
little more than strangers, which isn't a good way for me to think of
you. I want to get to know you more before making any decisions. As
soon as I finish my new research project, I'm going to apply for a one
year placement to Cardassia. You remember Gul Nepsan saying at the
situations briefing today that they're looking for more Starfleet
officers to volunteer for the skills exchange programme? If they
accept me onto the programme, I'll rent an apartment close to your
house. We'll spend a lot of time in each other's company and see where
we go from there."

Dukat's face burst into a radiant smile. "That sounds wonderful. I'm
so glad you didn't end it between us."

"As a matter of fact, I think this is only just beginning of 'us',"
Julian told him sincerely. And there seemed nothing better to do right
then than make love with this man once more to seal their agreement.

---

After having sex once more, both men were too exhausted to talk much.
Dukat especially was tired, and content merely to laze. Julian was
thinking about the revisions to the timeline again. He had just
remembered about Jennifer Sisko, once the wife of Benjamin Sisko and
killed when the ship he served on was attacked by the Borg at Wolf
359. She could not have been Sisko's wife now; no wedding for her, no
child, no family of her own. But on the other hand, no death in battle
for her either. This woman could well be alive today, one more person
whose life took a totally different path because of a pebble thrown
into a lake by a vauntingly ambitious Starfleet doctor. It was at once
both comforting and terrifying.

"I do hope they accept you for skills exchange, Julian. I can't wait
to see you in a Cardassian uniform; I just know I'd find you even
sexier in it..."

"Uh-huh," Julian replied vaguely.

"What are you thinking about?" Dukat asked him. "You look as if you're
concentrating really hard."

Julian did not really know how to put into words all that he felt, but
decided to try. "I was thinking about the nature of time, Dukat.
Everything we do, every action we take, rearranges things in the
future. Suppose I had got married and had children, for example. Those
children could have been murderers, saints, criminals, heroes...
anything at all. And the same goes for their children, and so on
through the generations. One action causes endless repercussions, and
I just wish we could list all of those out, so that we could see where
the faults are in advance and prevent them from occurring."

"But that's why things are as they are for us ordinary people," Dukat
said sleepily. "Time flowing one way, I mean. It's a very humbling
fact, isn't it? We are firmly anchored to the here and now. Then
again, I think that's exactly how it should be."

"Why?" Julian asked with interest.

"Well... it's very dangerous to know too much. People who do, or think
they do, can end up believing that they hold the key to everything in
their hands. They start to think that it all depends on *them*. And
then they sometimes end up doing terrible things to bring about what
they believe is right. I have faith in checks and balances, Julian. We
can't avoid the bad parts of life, it's not meant to be. And when
something terrible happens, there are often compensations that we
can't predict. Sometimes we never even find out about them, but they
do exist."

Julian spared a thought for Captain Sisko then, surely the clearest
example he knew of what Dukat was saying. A man who had become more
and more sure of the rightness of obeying the voices in his head,
sometimes to the detriment of his career, his family, his colleagues,
himself.

"But what if we could see them, Dukat? What if we knew the full
consequences of our actions? What then?"

Dukat looked across at him. "This is much too profound a conversation
for so late at night," he said with a warm smile.

"But I can't help wondering," Julian admitted. "I think I always
will."

Dukat stared at him curiously. "Is this about this decision which you
have made, the one you won't tell me about?"

"Can't tell you about," Julian corrected. "And yes, it is."

"Then let me ask you two questions. Did you do your best to make the
right decision?"

"Oh, yes."

"Were your actions intended to help others or yourself?"

Julian thought about this for some time. "Others," he replied
eventually. "Very much so. Any benefit to me, and there definitely has
been benefit, was unplanned."

"Then I'd say you've done nothing wrong, so why brood about it?"

Julian smiled. "Why indeed? You do comfort me, Dukat."

"That's what I'm here for," Dukat said mildly as he gave him a hug.
"And I always will be. Now go to sleep!"

---

Their moods that night were hardly comparable. Jean-Luc was relaxed
and content, Q was silent and morose. Picard knew that he wasn't
happy, of course; Q rarely troubled to hide his true feelings from
him. He hoped that Q would decide to confide in him, but so far this
had not happened.

"I don't know why you keep staring at me like that," Q said testily.

"Because it's fairly obvious that something is bothering you and I'd
like to know what it is," Picard said lightly.

"It's the faded colour scheme in these quarters of yours. I find it
depressing." Q clicked his fingers and the walls were suddenly painted
in lime green, with bright red stripes and sky blue dots. Still,
Picard could see that Q was only trying to divert his attention away
from the real problem, whatever that was.

"I think I'll need to replicate some sunglasses," he joked. Q managed
a faint smile in response but said nothing.

"Q..."

"Umm..."

"Are you unhappy about something?"

"Maybe..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"All right."

There was a silence. Both men waited.

"You're supposed to persuade me to change my mind."

"I think not," Picard said with a smile.

"But that's what Humans always do! It's in the script. Someone wants
to keep a secret, but another person thinks that if they talk about
their 'trauma' instead, then they'll feel better, plus they'll be
given such dazzling advice that their problem will be instantly
solved. So the other person nags and nags until they give in and
confess all."

"I don't nag," Picard reproved him mildly. "I get enough of it from
Deanna; I know how offensive it is to be pestered about one's
emotional state."

"But if I told you what was bothering me, you'd be pleased?"

Picard smiled. "Well, yes. But only because I might be able to help
you sort it out. I can produce extremely dazzling advice when the mood
is upon me, you know."

"Humans can't help with affairs of state," Q said snootily.

"So your concerns relate to the business of the Continuum, then?"
Picard said gravely. He turned his head to the side so that the smile
on his face wouldn't be noticed.

"Of course!"

"Well in that case I suppose I am quite useless to you..."

"Totally useless."

"Indeed. But it occurs to me that perhaps, as well as your business
concerns, you may also have a personal concern of some kind," Picard
said delicately. "And if you had one of those as well, then maybe I
could be of some assistance with it?"

Q hesitated. "I do have something else that is bothering me. Another,
separate matter. Quite insignificant when compared to Continuum
matters, of course."

"Absolutely. And that is?"

"You remember when I told you that I'd slept with millions of other
people?"

"Oh yes, right after you advised me that you'd fucked more men in the
last week alone than there are in my whole crew..."

"Yes, well... that wasn't quite true."

"No?"

"I may have exaggerated a tad."

"Really..."

"You understand that my work keeps me very busy. I haven't always had
the time to--"

"Oh, I quite see that," Picard said comfortingly, but by now the grin
on his face was as wide as the door and Q couldn't help but notice it.

"Yes yes, laugh at me, why don't you? There's only been one other
lover. There - now you know!"

"I wasn't going to laugh," Picard told him mendaciously. "But I do
find it highly amusing that you would not expect me to have realised
that your sexual claims were fabricated."

"You knew that?" Q could hardly believe it.

"The first time... I could tell that you weren't as experienced as you
pretended. To be honest with you, I liked that. It made me feel
special, almost as if you'd saved yourself for me."

"So he was right after all," Q muttered to himself.

"Who was?"

"My first lover; he told me... never mind. How did you figure it out,
Jean-Luc? What gave me away?"

"You didn't take control, Q. You let me make all the running, which
told me quite clearly that you were unsure of how to proceed. I know
you! You would never be so passive unless you felt insecure about
yourself."

"You think you've got me all figured out, don't you, Jean-Luc?"

Picard laughed. "Actually, I think it would be easier to build a black
hole with my bare hands than to figure you out, Q."

"Hmm. So was it a problem, having to make all the running yourself?"

"You know it wasn't. Now tell me all about him."

"Who?"

"Your other sexual partner, who else? You can't blame me for being
curious about him."

Q pouted appealingly. "I'm really not supposed to talk to anyone about
that. We had an agreement on the matter, although it didn't relate to
the sex, more to the favour I did for him in return for sex."

"Now I'm really getting curious," Picard commented.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you that he's a Starfleet officer,
stationed on DS9."

"The Enterprise is due to dock at DS9 in eleven days for crew shore
leave," Picard commented uneasily.

Q instantly understood the meaning behind his words. "It's all over
between us. He's seeing someone else now, and between vous and moi,
they'll be married in a year."

"So you can't reveal his identity?" Picard said with disappointment.

"No, not a chance. I don't think he'd like that," Q replied
regretfully.

"Not even if I gave you a blow job so intense that it'll make what we
did last night seem tame?" Picard said with a wicked grin.

"Jean-Luc, I think you may have found my one weak spot. However, if I
tell you how this young man and I came to spend a delightful few hours
together, you have to promise not to say a word about it to anyone..."

"All right," Picard murmured as he unzipped Q's trousers.

"Well, it all started when I took a little trip to Cardassia..."

---

The End