The BLTS Archive- Army Men
by Invicta (invicta11@yahoo.com)

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Disclaimer: Star Trek DS9 and the Star Trek characters are owned by
Paramount Pictures. All rights are reserved and no infringement is
meant.

This story is Copyright (c) Invicta, June 2000. This story appeared in
a previous issue of the Neutral Zine. Feedback is most welcome.

As dialogue is usually the part of any story which I most like to
write, I thought it might be a fun change to do a story which is all
dialogue, and here it is.

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"Marry me, Julian."

"WHAT? Don't talk so foolishly, Dukat. In case it has temporarily
slipped your mind, you're already married. You have a devoted wife who
is unbelievably forgiving of your numerous infidelities, and seven
children who love you more than you have a right to expect. The very
idea of us getting married to each other is totally ridiculous."

"Perhaps... but I can't help wanting it. I find myself caring deeply
for you. It's an unbearable inconvenience, but there you are."

"Well, it's certainly about time that you caught up with me, Dukat.
I've been at the 'caring deeply for you' stage for the last two years
now!"

"Now now Julian, don't get angry. You know that I've had strong
feelings of affection for you ever since that first night we spent
together."

"Mmm... I remember that night well. You fucked me so vigorously, I
could hardly walk the next day..."

"Just as well that you had that day off, then!"

"Hmm, yes. Very convenient that, wasn't it?"

"Julian, as I have often told you before, I never planned any of it. I
just happened to see you striding swiftly along the promenade that
afternoon. One glimpse was enough; I knew right away that I had to
have you. So I made enquiries and discovered that you were unmarried
and not currently engaged in an intimate relationship. What a terribly
sad thing, I thought, for such a beautiful young man as that to be all
alone! I decided immediately that it was only right and proper for me
to remedy such a grievous injustice..."

"How kind of you to care so much for the needs of another sentient
being... Naturally you never seduced me because you wanted to get laid
yourself, huh? No, all that was on your mind was the noble desire to
help me out. I'm touched by your generosity, I really am."

"That's the type of man I am. I've always been so fond of helping
others out..."

"I'll bet. But I am very glad that you saw me that day, Dukat. I must
have been very lonely back then, because otherwise I wouldn't have
gone to bed with you that same night. Sex on a first date is not
something I usually do, but you just swept me away, my dear. I could
not resist you at all. There I was, suddenly in bed with a large,
powerful, handsome and *very* lecherous Cardassian. They used to warn
us about the Ferengi's manipulative ways at Starfleet Academy, but
nobody ever mentioned that Cardassians could be even more sneaky!"

"Sneaky? Surely you jest. I was merely being kind to a fellow
inhabitant of this vast universe of ours, who just *happened* to have
the sexiest male body that I had ever seen. Anyway Julian, I'm pleased
to see that you have been taking note of my finer qualities. Large,
powerful, handsome and lecherous - all of those are definitely true. I
must have even more good points than you've just mentioned, though?"

"No, then we get on to the bad points. You're also rude, arrogant,
self-absorbed, impatient..."

"Name one time when I am self-absorbed!"

"That, my dear, is easy. Every time that you stay over, when you spend
a good twenty to thirty minutes just doing your hair in the
morning..."

"Julian, I have to look after my hair properly, you know that. If I
don't apply the proper gels and lotions in the right way, it flies out
and looks totally untidy.  I *detest* being untidy."

"Oh of course, it would never do for you to have a single hair out of
place, would it?"

"No, it would not! That would be inconsistent with my status as a high
ranking Cardassian officer. And anyway, I noticed earlier that my
nantak oil hair gels are still in your bathroom. Why didn't you throw
them all away after the last time I went back to Cardassia? The
bottles are almost empty, too. Have you been applying the odd touch of
hair gel yourself, Julian? Here, let me have a look!"

"Get off! No, I have *not* been using your silly hair care products. I
don't need to; my hair stays under control naturally and doesn't have
to be beaten into submission like yours does. If you must know, I just
like to keep the gels to look at when I'm washing or shaving. They
remind me of you, and it's a reminder that I can get away with."

"What do you mean?"

"If I were to put a picture of you in a frame, or have some of the
gifts that you've given me over the years on display, then visitors to
my quarters might notice them and ask questions. But nantak oils are
used by many species, not just Cardassians. Nobody would associate
them with you particularly, so that's why they're a safe reminder to
keep out."

"That makes me feel sad."

"Don't be silly! What's to feel sad about? I'm just explaining why
I've kept your hair gels in the bathroom, even when you're not here to
use them. As I open one and inhale it's fragrance, it's as if you're
right here with me, and I'm watching you do your hair once more. I can
see you in my mind and remember the many wonderful bathroom
conversations that we've had in the past. It's almost like we're
together again, you see."

"Yes Julian, I see. But what makes me feel sad is that you have to go
to such lengths to hide this relationship away."

"So do you."

"Yes, but I have many reminders and souvenirs of our relationship in
my secure safe at home, and I can look at them whenever I'm there."

"And I have a very curious tailor friend who could easily open up any
safe of mine, however secure it was supposed to be. It's not worth the
risk, Dukat."

"Garak... you don't think he suspects anything, do you? If he did, he
would undoubtedly try and collect proof that we're lovers, and then
he'd use that information to destroy me. Even the fact that you would
also be hurt by his actions would not deter him. You may be the only
friend he has here, but sometimes hate is stronger than love and it is
a bitter hate which he reserves for me."

"Please Dukat, don't look so worried about what I said. I explained
myself badly. As far as I'm aware, Garak knows nothing about us. I'd
be surprised if he did; we've certainly been discreet enough. I just
meant that one day he might take it upon himself to search my quarters
for information of some kind. He's naturally aware that, as a senior
officer, I am sometimes entrusted with confidential or sensitive
Starfleet data."

"Ah, of course. Thank you; you've put my mind at rest about that."

"You're welcome. I must say though Dukat, you're hardly being
consistent tonight, are you? First you propose marriage to me, then
you start getting worried that Garak might find out about us. Surely
you don't believe that we could get married without anyone knowing
about it?"

"Well... yes Julian, possibly. If we married on a neutral planet far
away from here and told nobody, we might just be able to keep it a
secret."

"And how would we keep your divorce a secret, may I ask?"

"Ah. That would be a little more difficult, I admit."

"Impossible, in fact, under Cardassia's present divorce laws. And even
if we could maintain such a secret, I wouldn't want to. I don't
consider a secret marriage to be an attractive idea at all. Marriage
is a permanent and *open* commitment, at least it is to me. Dukat,
don't try and turn this affair of ours into something that it isn't. I
do care for you, I really do, but our being husbands would not work.
You should know that. For one thing, I could never live on Cardassia
and you could never live anywhere else."

"We could live apart then... visit each other as often as possible,
spend our time off together. Wouldn't that work?"

"I just don't believe you, Dukat! You sound as if you seriously want
this, but I know damn straight that you don't. What is this really
about? We have a nice, convenient setup here. You visit DS9, we meet
up, we undress, we fuck, we talk, we fuck again, we shower, we dress,
we eat, we talk again, you leave. If you think for one minute that I'm
going to marry you and be your dirty little secret for the rest of my
days, then you have seriously misjudged me."

"I understand. You have every right to refuse me. I won't pretend that
I'm not disappointed by your attitude, however."

"Awww, is my Cardassian lover sulking? Look at that soulful
expression! Poor little thing..."

"Julian, you are much too fond of making fun of me when I'm being
deadly serious."

"Well, that just shows you what a terrible husband I'd make. So
there!"

"Are you saying that there is no possibility at all of us being
married, either now or in the future?"

"Oh, I don't know... I might marry you if you did something really
impressive. Like giving the Bajorans all of their Orbs back at once,
or dancing the flamenco nude on the Promenade with a rose between your
lips..."

"Julian, stop joking. This is *not* the right time for humour."

"Well, I'm sorry but this is just too absurd for words. You're asking
me for something that would ruin your life, and then you get angry
with me because I won't help the process along!"

"Ruin my life? Explain that."

"All right, I will. You know how your people despise those who are
homosexual or bisexual. If we married, you'd lose your rank and
possibly your job. You'd never become head of the 2nd Order, as you so
dearly want to. And even worse, you'd probably lose custody of the
children. You may not even be allowed to see them at all. Aren't I
right?"

"It might not be that bad..."

"Or it might be even worse, if someone decided to make an example of
you. You have enemies, Dukat - don't forget that. Garak had enemies
too, people who seized their chance and had him exiled when he came
out. He thought his position in Cardassian society protected him from
the consequences of that admission; he was wrong. The same thing could
happen to you, and if it did... Dukat, you are a Cardassian to your
very bones. You wouldn't know how to exist in any other society.
Without your family and friends, all of whom would probably shun you,
you'd be adrift and helpless. And in return, all you would have is a
marriage certificate, and an unhappy existence in an alien land where
your people are generally regarded with contempt. It's not worth it,
my love."

"But what if I were willing to make those sacrifices so that we could
be together?"

"Dukat... you might be prepared to do that, but I'm not."

"Oh. I see. Clearly I must have misunderstood the situation."

"Don't look so hurt, please. We only ever set out to have some fun
together and we always said that commitment wasn't on the agenda. You
know that..."

"Yes, I know that."

"And I told you right from the start that I'd date other people, that
we would never be exclusive, did I not?"

"You did. Yes Julian, you did."

"Right. So I've also had intimate relationships with Garak and several
different women, while you've done the same with your wife and half of
Cardassia! And until now, you've been quite satisfied with our
arrangements. Now, all of a sudden, you're not. It's not my fault that
you've decided to change the rules."

"Julian, I know that, but there is a reason for my plea. My wife found
out about us last week. Someone gossiped. She doesn't know your
identity but she does know that I'm seeing another man. It isn't her
wish for us to be divorced; the loss of status would displease her. So
she told me that, if I wanted our marriage to continue, I must give
you up. A female lover is one thing, but to her the idea of my having
a liaison with a man is both repugnant and unacceptable."

"Ah... now I understand. So it's her or me, is it? Well, in my opinion
it's just no contest. Dukat, I've been with you for three years and
she's been with you for twenty eight. She's supported you through all
the hard times, hasn't she? And struggled to bring up your seven
children during the years when you so often weren't there to help out.
How could you even think of leaving her to marry me? What kind of
repayment is that for her devotion to you and your family?"

"Julian, don't say it that way. You make me sound like a monster.
Please tell me that's not how you see me..."

"Dukat, you are not a monster. What you are is a man who can no longer
have it all. Someone has to be given up, and I think it should be me."

"NO! I don't want to give you up; that would be very painful. I need
you, Julian. You are essential to me. If I didn't have these visits to
DS9 to look forward to--"

"Dukat, I know what's best for you, what would most make you happy. Or
perhaps more appropriately, what would least make you unhappy. And sad
as it is for me to say this, your best option is staying with your
wife and leaving me. If you don't, you'll lose everything.
*Everything.* And what kind of lover would I be, if I let that happen
to you?"

"So you're saying it's over?

"Dukat, my beloved, you know it is."

"I asked you to marry me, Julian."

"Yes, but did you really mean it? I mean really, deep down in your
heart. I'd just finished a great blow job on you, you felt relaxed and
content and grateful, so you came out with this marriage suggestion.
And I bet you regretted it the minute the words tumbled out of your
mouth, didn't you?"

"No, of course not!"

"All right then. Let's suppose that I agree to be your husband.
Tomorrow morning you can contact Central Command and hand in your
notice, then tell your wife, then apply for a divorce. There's no
point in you returning home, as she would have destroyed all of your
possessions before you arrived. She'd probably change the security
codes on your house to keep you out as well. So, then we'll ask
Commander Sisko to marry us as soon as the divorce comes through. You
can move into my quarters right away of course, but you'll need to
find a job to support yourself. That's not a problem. I hear Quark
needs some new bar staff, and I know for a fact that more people are
needed on the night shift for station maintenance. Work on the waste
disposal system has been a little neglected of late, and people are
starting to file complaints..."

"I--"

"Yes, Dukat?"

"You seem to have a very strong grasp on the practical problems which
our being together might entail."

"Don't you? It was plain from the start that you would be the one to
make most of the sacrifices. I would never move to Cardassia; that
place scares me. No disrespect meant, but it really does. And I love
my job too. I wouldn't want to leave Starfleet."

"Well.... you're right, Julian. I have to admit, you are right. I
don't think I want to do any of the things you just listed. It's not
that I love her and don't love you. It's everything else, all of these
massive complications. If we had been born in a more tolerant age--"

"Look Dukat, you don't have to explain anything to me. We've had three
years together, and I feel very lucky to have been blessed with that
time. The knowledge that I've gained and the kindness that you've
shown to me; these things are priceless. I will always be grateful to
you. for everything."

"And I am grateful to you, for all of the qualities which you have so
freely brought to our relationship. Your honesty, your sense of
humour, your intelligence, your tolerance and understanding. I don't
know how I will manage without you in my life. In fact, I don't know
if I *can* manage without you..."

"Well, isn't this getting morbid! Anyone would think that someone had
just died, you sound so depressed. I vote that we make a determined
effort to lighten the mood right up! Tonight will be the last night
that we have together, so let's make it a good one, my dear."

"Oh, Julian... if I didn't know you well enough to be aware of exactly
how you feel about me, I'd think you didn't give a damn that we won't
see one another again. But I know that just the opposite is true. And
therefore,  I'll honour your wishes and lighten the mood for you right
away. Let me remove that dressing gown of yours, because I always
think that it makes you look entirely overdressed..."

"Why are you being so flirtatious all of a sudden? Anyone would think
we were going to fuck or something."

"But we are going to fuck, Julian. I mean, *really* fuck."

"Dukat, you know it's usually a disaster when we try penetration.
Let's stick to oral sex, we can both do that superbly. Especially me!"

"No, not this time. I want to feel you inside of me. This last night,
nothing else will do."

"You know, you shouldn't be so damn picky."

"Is that a refusal, my dear?"

"Well... I suppose not. When you make suggestions of a sexual nature,
I usually find that you're exceedingly hard to refuse."

"Oh, only you think that! Back on Cardassia, people refuse me all the
time."

"But then, you're not asking them for sex. Or are you?"

"Julian! You know my heart belongs to you, and only to you."

"It's not your heart that I'm thinking about..."

"Hehehe. Well, never mind that, let's have sex! I'm definitely feeling
ready for you."

"Oh yes? Let me have a look under the covers... you don't *look*
ready. You're as limp as a lettuce leaf. Sheesh, these middle aged
lovers!"

"Insulting boy! I meant, I feel ready to be fucked. I am mentally
prepared. And as your  knowledge of Cardassian anatomy seems to have
entirely deserted you, let me inform you that I don't need to be hard
to be penetrated by you. So where's *your* erection, big man?"

"Hehheh, here it is. I can't imagine why you didn't notice the
*enormous* bulge under the covers before. Satisfied?"

"It'll do... stick it in, then."

"*Stick it in, then!* What a way to phrase it. You seem to have no
romance in your soul. Still, what else should be expected from a
Cardassian army drone?"

"Hah! Less talking and more fucking, *if* you please. I want some
action!"

"You always do... turn over."

"Is this all right?"

"Just perfect. I have a wonderful view right now. Did I ever tell you
that your ass is the sexiest part of your whole body?"

"Frequently, now get on with it!"

"If I were a writer, I'd compose so many sonnets and odes in praise of
your ass, Dukat. I'd laud it's merits without cessation. I'd even get
Klingons to write operas about it."

"Swine. You know I'd be embarrassed beyond belief by such a thing."

"Already got that one figured out too, as it happens. I'd call just it
'My Lover's Ass', so nobody would know it was your cute little bottom
that I was referring to."

"You have entirely too much time on your hands..."

"Not at all. Can I help it if my thoughts rest on you regularly?"

"Perhaps not. I just wish your penis would do the same. Do you *ever*
intend to fuck me?"

"Calm down, Dukat. I'm just trying to find the lubricant. Ah, here it
is."

"I admire your optimism."

"Hmm?"

"Thinking that lubricant's going to help, I mean."

"We don't have to do this, my love."

"I want to do it, Julian. I'll try and lie at a better angle this
time."

"Dukat, we've tried every angle there is short of suspending ourselves
from the ceiling, but my cock is still too wide for you and yours is
still too long for me. Whichever entity or deity it was that designed
penises and assholes clearly didn't believe in the concept of 'one
size fits all'."

"We *have* made it work before, Julian... sometimes."

"That was pure good luck if you ask me. But maybe tonight is our lucky
night."

"Oooh! That lubricant is cold."

"Oops, sorry. It's only at room temperature, I forgot to go and heat
it up before applying it to your anus."

"Never mind about it, Julian. It's warming up nicely now."

"So am I..."

"I noticed.... kiss me."

"Anything you say..."

"Another kiss?"

"No problem..."

"Oh! I love it when you squeeze my nipples like that. Julian, I want
you. Badly."

"Now?"

"Yes, right now."

"I'll really try to be careful not to hurt you, Dukat."

"I don't care if you do. Please Julian, do it... put your cock inside
of me."

"I'm... trying..."

"OH!"

"Are you--"

"Yessss, fine, go on."

"Uh..."

"Julian, that's it! Harder, please..."

"Ahhh....."

"Push in harder, faster, you can, I'm all right... OWWW!"

"Dukat, did I hurt you?"

"Don't stop! It feels so good, so very good..."

"Are you hard?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm going to stroke you, make you come..."

"Yes...."

"You like that?"

"Oh... shit.... OH SHIT!"

"Yeah, you do like that!"

"Who... wouldn't?"

"Dukat, you're squeezing me too tight. Stop it!"

"Sorry, Julian. Can't help it..."

"Told you... this... would... go wrong..."

"Julian, you feel so damn good, even if it does hurt like hell..."

"You... too!"

"You're about to come, aren't you?"

"Yesss.... oh, heavens!"

"I love you, Julian..."

"AGGGGHHHH!"

"Ahhhhhhh........."

"Wow Dukat, that was good."

"We managed it..."

"Yes we did! I knew we would, you know."

"Did you now, Julian? How strange; I could have sworn that *you* were
the one who expressed some doubts about the idea of us having anal sex
just a short while ago."

"Did I really?"

"YES!"

"Well, I'm only a doctor, so what do I know! Oh, that reminds me -
Dukat, are you injured at all? I should have asked sooner."

"No, I'm fine. I'll probably have a few aches and pains when I wake up
tomorrow, but nothing serious. But why even ask me, Julian? Whatever I
say, you're going to get the tricorder and scan me to make totally
sure that I'm not hurt anyway, aren't you?"

"Hehehe... you know me too well. Let me just check you over; it won't
take a minute."

"I really *am* fine, you know."

"Hmm, the tricorder seems to agree with you."

"So... "

"So?"

"What shall we do with the rest of our evening, Julian?"

"Oh, well... how about a nice game of Jadha? You see I have a Jadha
board all set up on the table over there."

"You know I hate that game. That's probably why you bought it, just to
annoy me. It's an inferior test of skill, suitable only for those of
little strength and even less intelligence."

"You should love it, then."

"Julian, sometimes your peculiar brand of humour tests my self-control
to the limits... Don't mention that dreadful game to me again, will
you?"

"Jadha, Jadha, Jadha, Jadha, Jadha!"

"One more word out of you and I'll shove a Jadha playing piece holder
so far up your ass that you'll never see it again!"

"Err... Jadha?"

"You asked for it..."

"HEY, THAT'S REALLY COLD!"

"Good."

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The End