The BLTS Archive - Betrayal
by ILuvKate

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It had been nearly two weeks now. Two weeks without a word, a look,
anything. The last time she'd slept any longer than an exhausted three
hours before the alarm went off in the morning was probably the week
before they'd encountered the Sikarians. She'd skipped more meals than
she'd eaten, too.

She knew the first move was up to her. She'd harbored a
faint--extremely faint--hope that Kathryn would call her, but after
three days had passed in a stony silence, she'd known that it would be
up to her to take the first step back. If there was anything to go
back to. If she hadn't destroyed it by disobeying orders, like an
idiot. How had she been so spineless as to let Carey and Seska
manipulate her emotionally?

No, there had been nothing but a stony silence from her lover for
first three days, then five, then ten, now it had been almost two
weeks. She'd never been more miserable as an adult. The knowledge that
she had hurt Kathryn so badly, betrayed a trust cut deep. She could
not get the memory out of her mind, of the look on Kathryn's face, the
shocked pain in her eyes as, with Tuvok standing silently nearby,
she'd confessed to disobeying orders. She wasn't sure that Kathryn
could ever forgive her. Hell, she couldn't forgive herself.

Briefings were tense and awkward, as was any dialogue necessary
between the Captain and Chief Engineer. No one else on the ship could
have deduced from the normalcy of the Captain's demeanor when she
addressed the Chief Engineer that there was anything wrong, but
B'Elanna felt keenly the icy mantle Kathryn had wrapped herself in,
almost as if a dagger of ice was being driven to the very depths of
her soul. As much as she could, she avoided the Bridge and the
Captain. She sent Nicolletti to most briefings, pleading pressing
business in Engineering, and Kathryn did not acknowledge that anything
was amiss.

Now B'Elanna paced her quarters, trying to summon the courage to go
the Kathryn's quarters and broach the subject of their relationship
and its future. B'Elanna pressed folded hands briefly to the bridge of
her nose. By the gods, she breathed, let there be a future.

Squaring her shoulders, her mouth tightening with determination, she
exited her quarters and made her way to Deck ? and Kathryn's quarters.
She couldn't go on in this limbo. She needed it resolved one way or
the other. If Kathryn banished her to the hell of life without her,
then she would have to deal with it. Anything was better than this
tense, bitter separation.

She pushed the doorchime, and stood waiting, her heart thudding, her
throat dry, and her eyes burning. The doors slid aside and they stood
face to face, tension crackling suddenly in the stark silence.
Kathryn's eyes were bleak as they met B'Elanna's. B'Elanna felt tears
well up in hers.

"May I--come in?" all she could manage was a hollow whisper. Kathryn
stepped back in a tacit gesture of admittance and B'Elanna felt a
small surge of relief. That was promising. As the doors closed behind
B'Elanna, Kathryn turned silently and walked over to the dinner table
where her unfinished dinner lay. Untouched was more accurate. Kathryn,
dressed for bed, sat down in the dining chair and folded her hands
under her chin, staring at the congealing food on her plate. B'Elanna
swallowed drily, not knowing precisely what to do. Before she could
speak, however, Kathryn raised her eyes to hers.

"I suppose," she said in a lifeless voice, "that you're here to
apologize." B'Elanna winced. Whatever she'd expected to hear, that
wasn't it, but Kathryn was right. That's why she had come.

"I--I don't know," she began miserably, "if I--I have the words t-to
express how so--"

"B'Elanna," Kathryn, head bowed, had pressed the heels of her hands
against her eyes, and her voice was slightly muffled. "I know you're
sorry." B'Elanna felt her chest tighten and her gut clench. She was
unsure what to say to that. She shifted from one foot to the other.
Kathryn continued, "The thing is, now, how are we going to get past
this?"

"I don't know," B'Elanna replied in a choked voice. "Kathryn, I'll do
anything...." her voice trailed off as tears closed off her throat.
With a weary sigh, Kathryn sat up, leaning back in her chair, staring
at the miserable figure in front of her.

"I don't remember the last time I slept," she said listlessly. "I
can't eat. I can't concentrate on my duties. Gods, B'Elanna, do you
know what you've done?" The last words reflected her pain and B'Elanna
felt like howling in remorse. Tears spilled over and ran down her
cheeks.

"Yes," she whispered brokenly. "I realize." She fell to her knees,
burying her face in her hands, sobbing. Kathryn watched her for a
moment and then rose and came around the table to kneel in front of
her. Her own eyes filled and she reached out to gather the sobbing
young woman into her embrace. She held her, rocking her gently,
murmuring wordlessly against the shining dark hair, stroking it
tenderly. B'Elanna leaned into her embrace, her arms circling Kathryn,
relief washing over her. At last the racking sobs quieted in her chest
and she rested in Kathryn's arms, reveling in the comfort that the
feel of the strong arms gave her. Kathryn put a finger under her chin
and tipped her tear-streaked face up and then bent and kissed her
still quivering lips. B'Elanna's hand came up and cupped the back of
Kathryn's head as she opened her mouth hungrily to accept the kiss.
Still kissing her, Kathryn eased her back until she lay flat, her
hands fumbling at the zipper of her jacket. B'Elanna found the
fastening to Kathryn's robe and opened it, pushing it off the
captain's shoulders.

"Oh, gods, B'Elanna," Kathryn, breathing hard, lifted her head from
kissing her and searched her lover's face. "I've missed you so damned
much. It's been pure hell."

"I know," B'Elanna whispered. "If you can ever forgive me...." Kathryn
laughed softly.

"That's what I'm doing right now, goose. And you're apologizing. Don't
stop now," she said, bending to nip the soft skin of B'Elanna's neck.
B'Elanna cupped her breasts through the silk of Kathryn's nightgown,
eliciting a long moan from her. Kathryn hurriedly removed her lover's
uniform and in short order, B'Elanna lay naked. Kathryn's hands roamed
her body, leaving a trail of fire at every touch. She left no spot
untouched by palm or fingers except for the raging heat between her
legs and B'Elanna whimpered. She clutched handfuls of Kathryn's gown,
pulling it up over Kathryn's bottom.

"Ahhhh, Kathryn!" she cried. "By the gods, I'm in pain! Please!" she
begged as Kathryn's wicked torment continued without touching where
she needed it most. Kathryn laughed softly and parted B'Elanna's
trembling thighs. She kissed up and down the inside of both, driving
B'Elanna to madness. And then Kathryn took pity on her--of a sort--and
nibbled teasingly at the moist folds of her sex. B'Elanna writhed,
gasping a plea for release, but Kathryn continued her teasing kisses
and nibbles. At last, she used her fingers to part B'Elanna's lips and
circled her throbbing clit with her lips and tongue. As B'Elanna's
climax began to ripple through her body, Kathryn sucked hard on the
swollen clit and B'Elanna came violently with a shattering cry.
Kathryn pillowed her head on her lover's stomach and watched the
expression of pleasure cascade over her face. When B'Elanna had
quieted, Kathryn slid up to lie beside her. B'Elanna put out a hand as
though to begin her turn at pleasuring Kathryn, but Kathryn captured
the hand.

"Not yet, my dear. We have all night. I just want to hold you for a
bit. B'Elanna lay contentedly in Kathryn's embrace, feeling cocooned
with relief and satisfaction. Never again, she vowed silently, would
she ever do anything that would jeopardize what she and Kathryn had.
Never again.

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Copyright 1997 ILuvKate

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The End