The BLTS Archive - Apology by ILuvKate --- Kathryn Janeway entered the Mess Hall and headed over to the serving line, stopping on the way to speak to the occupants of various tables. As she accepted a tray from the ebullient Neelix, and turned with it and her coffee to go sit down, she spied the solitary figure sitting at a table facing the viewport. Dejection was in every line of her body and Janeway changed course to walk over to where B'Elanna Torres was sitting. B'Elanna sat, head propped on one hand, listlessly pushing the food on her plate around in aimless circles. Janeway watched her for a moment unobserved, and then stepped forward. "Mind if I join you?" she asked casually. B'Elanna looked up, startled, and then sat up straight. "Captain!" she said. "Uh, yes, of course. If you want to" "I want to," Janeway said wryly. She sat down and picked up her fork. "B'Elanna, I'm worried about you." B'Elanna glanced at her and then back at her plate. "I'm all right," she said. "I don't think so," Janeway returned promptly. B'Elanna's fingers unconsciously brushed across one of her brow ridges, and her eyes shadowed. She shifted in her seat. "I'll be all right," she amended. Janeway eyed her for a minute and then began to eat. "You will if you quit beating yourself up over what happened," she pointed out. B'Elanna shot her a quick, uncomfortable glance. "That's easy for you to say," she said. Janeway grimaced. "Tell me," she said, setting her fork down and clasping her hands, leaning toward B'Elanna slightly. "Did you deliberately dose yourself with that gas on the shuttle?" "Of course not!" B'Elanna said. "Then did you use the gas as an excuse to explain how you acted?" Janeway continued relentlessly. B'Elanna's cheeks darkened with an angry flush, and she sat up straight, her eyes flashing. "No!" she exclaimed. "What are you--?" "Ridiculous questions, aren't they?" Janeway interjected calmly. "They certainly are!" B'Elanna said heatedly. "I would nev--" She stopped short as Janeway just looked at her, her eyes twinkling, a smile tugging at her lips. "So," Janeway said. "Stop flogging yourself over something that you couldn't help." B'Elanna glared at her sourly for a minute, and Janeway just returned it with a serene smile. "Well." B'Elanna said, slumping back down in her chair, simmering. Janeway ignored her and picked up her fork, beginning to eat. "So," she said conversationally, "do we have a pretty good supply of tellerium?" She referred to the tellerium that an Away Team had gone down and gathered after she and B'Elanna returned to the ship. "It looks pretty good," B'Elanna said grudgingly. She studied the captain for a minute. "You know how to get somebody's goat, you know that?" Janeway looked up at her and grinned. "They teach us that in command school," she quipped. B'Elanna snorted a laugh and began to eat her own lunch. "Join me for dinner in my quarters, why don't you?" Janeway suggested as they finished their lunch and headed toward the refuse slot to dispose of their trays. "You can apologize some more if you feel the need to." B'Elanna just gave her a withering look and she laughed, putting an arm around her Chief Engineer's shoulders as they left the Mess Hall. --- That evening B'Elanna, dressed in civvies, a soft, clinging outfit of a white, sparkly material, pushed Janeway's door chime. "Come in," she heard the Captain say in response and she entered the quarters. Janeway was setting dishes on the table. B'Elanna walked over as Janeway smiled in welcome. She handed Janeway a bottle and Janeway took it, smiling her appreciation. "Ooh, Finlerian fruit wine. Wonderful," she said. "It's real, too. Have you been hoarding it?" B'Elanna nodded. "Saving it for a special occasion," she replied. Janeway smiled. "How flattering," she remarked. She put the wine on the table and went to retrieve a corkscrew. "Do the honors, Chief Engineer," she said, handing it to B'Elanna. B'Elanna began on the cork while the captain finished setting the food out. When they were seated, Kathryn poured them both a glass of the pale purple beverage and raised her glass. "Here's to all's well that ends well," she said. B'Elanna smiled and raised her own glass. They clinked rims lightly and drank. "Mmm, delicious," Kathryn said, savoring the rich, fruity taste of the wine. They began to eat, conversation casual and desultory. When they had finished their meal, they cleared the table and carried the wine and their glasses over to the couch. B'Elanna stood for a minute, staring out the viewport at the passing stars. "Penny," Kathryn said, bringing her back to the present. B'Elanna focused her gaze on the captain for a couple of beats, her eyes distant. Kathryn sipped her wine, her eyes never leaving B'Elanna's. "I wanted to kill you, you know," B'Elanna's voice sounded faraway. "Things keep coming back, and I remember how much... I wanted to slash my knife across your throat and feel the hot spill of blood on my hand." She blinked and closed her eyes briefly. "It was the one thing on my mind," she admitted. "I thought about how we could be home, and why we weren't." Kathryn sat still, her eyes steady on the troubled dark ones looking back at her. "I don't want to kill you, Captain," she said earnestly. "Please know that." "B'Elanna, I do know that," Kathryn assured her. "You told me so in Sickbay and I believed you then. You were not yourself." She patted the couch beside her. "Sit down." B'Elanna sat almost automatically, accustomed to obeying a command. "I hope I wasn't," she continued, her face still troubled. "Oh, B'Elanna," Kathryn admonished her, "what are you saying? That this was some subconscious desire that surfaced?" Startlingly, B'Elanna laughed "My subconscious *desire*," she said, "has nothing to do with wanting to kill you." Kathryn looked quizzical. "B'Elanna?" she asked. B'Elanna, looked alarmed, and seemed to catch herself back. "Uhh,..." her face flushed. "I--uh, nothing. I just want you to know I don't want to kill you," she finished lamely, gulping her wine. Kathryn studied her shrewdly. "So you've said before," Kathryn said. "I think you meant something else just now. Talk to me." "No. I didn't mean anything more than what I said," B'Elanna said more evenly, seeming to have regained her composure. She made as if to get up, but Kathryn pulled her back with a hand on her shoulder. "I think you did," Kathryn said softly, "and I want to know what it is. Now talk." She leaned toward B'Elanna. "You said...'desire,'" she added. "Tell me what you mean by that." B'Elanna squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds and then opened them, giving a sigh. "Desire," she said with a small laugh. "Desire is what I feel for you, Captain." Kathryn stared at her steadily for a few minutes, her face neutral. B'Elanna returned the look levelly, raising her chin slightly. "Kathryn," Kathryn said. "Kathryn, not Captain. Not here. Not now." She leaned forward to set her glass on the table in front of the couch, and took B'Elanna's, doing the same. She turned back to B'Elanna and took both the younger woman's hands in hers. B'Elanna drew a quick, sharp breath. "So, you desire me?" Kathryn asked, her voice a husky whisper. B'Elanna swallowed and nodded. "Yes," she said in a low voice. She dropped her eyes for a second and then raised them to Kathryn's again. Kathryn still had her hands clasped in hers. "How wonderful," Kathryn said warmly and B'Elanna's eyes widened. She stared at Kathryn, hardly daring to believe what she'd just heard. "Ca-Kathryn?" she said hesitantly. Kathryn's smile lit up her face. "I said, 'how wonderful,'" she repeated softly. "Come here." As if in a dream, B'Elanna moved over into Kathryn's embrace and Kathryn folded her in close. After a minute, Kathryn turned B'Elanna's face up to hers, and then bent and kissed her. B'Elanna felt heat and flame suffuse her as the captain's mouth captured hers and she responded passionately. "Oh, yes," Kathryn whispered when they drew apart. "Apologize some more, Lieutenant." B'Elanna laughed and pulled her mouth back down to her hungry one. As they kissed, Kathryn undid B'Elanna's top and pushed it off her shoulders. She undid B'Elanna's bra and tossed it aside. Cupping the soft warm breasts in her hands, she smiled at B'Elanna's flushed face and bright eyes. "Oh, I want you," B'Elanna breathed, her hands reaching for the buttons on Kathryn's shirt. "I want you in my mouth and in my hands." "Then take me," Kathryn offered, lying back as B'Elanna undressed her, watching her through half-closed eyes as B'Elanna pulled the shirt away and unhooked her bra. She sucked a deep breath in as B'Elanna bent forward to kiss her naked breasts with soft, feathery kisses that set her afire, turning her insides to water. She gazed at B'Elanna's full firm breasts as B'Elanna sat back a little to get to her trousers and undo them, drawing them off. Kathryn lay naked now, under B'Elanna's hands and eyes basking in her hungry gaze. "Oh, B'Elanna...." she whispered, wanting her some more. B'Elanna bent forward and kissed her way up from Kathryn's belly back up to her breasts. While she tongued the nipple of one breast, she fondled the other with one hand, while her other hand wandered down to Kathryn's sex and began to explore the hot wetness down there. "Ohh, God, B'Elannaaa," Kathryn groaned. "Oh, God, don't stoppp." B'Elanna showed she had no intention of doing so as she moved down to kneel between Kathryn's thighs. She slid her hands under Kathryn's bottom and pulled her down slightly. She kissed from knee to groin on the inside of one thigh and from groin to knee on the other, licking and nipping the soft warm skin. Then she parted the moist lips of Kathryn's sex and flicked the swollen clit with her tongue. Kathryn cried out again, raising her hips. B'Elanna probed deeply with her tongue and sucked hard on the engorged nub until Kathryn's body bucked in the throes of her orgasm. As the last wave of pleasure surged through her she sagged back on the couch, drawing in deep breaths. B'Elanna still knelt, pillowing her cheek on one of Kathryn's thighs. After a few minutes, Kathryn pushed her back to lie on the floor and B'Elanna gave herself up to hungry hands and mouth. Kathryn rolled her mouth across B'Elanna's breasts, nipping at the nipples that hardened under her lips. B'Elanna arched to meet her mouth, giving soft moans of pleasure as sensations she had only dreamed of washed over her. Kathryn lavished attention on her breasts before moving down her trim torso, across her firm, flat belly to the pounding ache between her legs. "Oh, Kathryn, I want you so baaad," B'Elanna moaned. So many times in her dreams and fantasies she'd said that, and now she was saying it for real, and Kathryn's mouth was driving her wild. Kathryn lifted her head and used her fingers to massage B'Elanna's throbbing clit. B'Elanna spasmed with each stroke of Kathryn's busy fingers, crying out as her orgasm mounted. Still stroking with her fingers, Kathryn lowered her mouth once more and drove hard against B'Elanna with her tongue. B'Elanna came explosively, wave after wave of pleasure washing hotly over her until she thought she would surely die. Kathryn stretched out beside her on the floor and laid her arm across B'Elanna, watching her face reflect the intense pleasure she was feeling. With one last long, drawn-out sigh of happiness, B'Elanna relaxed, opening her eyes to see Kathryn smiling down at her. "Oh, Kathryn," B'Elanna murmured. "Oh, B'Elanna," Kathryn said, laughing. She pulled B'Elanna into her embrace and they lay, sated, content, drifting off into a comfortable nap. --- Copyright 1998 ILuvKate --- The End