The BLTS Archive - For You by Glitterchicauk (glitterchicauk@yahoo.co.uk) --- Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. --- He'd been a Captain for almost seven years and in that time had lost many good people. Battles with the Suliban, a few scraps with the Klingons and a nasty encounter with a race that was new to both humans and Vulcans, had spelled the end of more than a few people's lives. He'd buried 15 in space. His steward, the first chef, a woman from engineering who'd died saving his life. . . but today was the worst. Today he was commiting the body of one of his dearest friends to the vast expanse of space. They brought her in in silence. Trip and Malcolm in front, Travis and the young crewman whom Hoshi had been teaching Spanish. The coffin was placed on a specially erected platform. Standing on the bridge, the scene of some of her greatest moments, he observed the torpado casing that served as a coffin for deceased crew members. The Starfleet flag was draped over it, several wreathes placed on the top, white cards nestled amongst them. 'My Girl', 'Beloved Friend'. . . 'Hoshi'. The ensign at Communications stood first, followed by navigator, science officer, security and Dr Phlox. Trip, Malcolm, Travis and Ensign Murphy stood side by side, stiffly at attention. "All hands, this is the Captain. Today we commit our dear friend to space. She served aboard this ship since it made its first mission seven years ago. She overcame her fears and became a vital part of this crew." He looked down, choked. "Hoshi was much loved aboard this ship. A wide circle of friends. . . " he paused and glanced at Malcolm and Travis, both of whom were struggling to keep their composure. ". . . people she taught. . . " He paused again, his gaze sweeping across Ensign Murphy and Ensign James at Communications. T'Pol stood next to the captain and bowed her head when he spoke again. ". . . people who taught her and helped her gain confidence." ". . . and then, the one who loved her most of all. . . her husband." It was Trip's turn to bow his head, tears filling his eyes but refusing to let himself cry. "Had she lived, she would have done many more great things and enriched the lives of many more people. We have lost a special person, of the like we will never see again. She was truly unique." "Goodbye Hoshi." Trip raised his head again and stepped towards the coffin of the woman he loved. He kissed the cold metal casing and stood straight again. "Love you darlin'. Forever." He stepped back. "Hoshi Sato Tucker we send you into space with our love and blessing." His throat was hoarse and T'Pol decided to intervene. "Lieutenet Bailey, please beam the coffin to the forward launchers." "No. I want – I need to do this." "Commander-" "T'Pol." She nodded her understanding and he proceeded to the security station. He looked one last time at the coffin and pictured her face, smiling when he proposed to her at her station, in front of the entire bridge crew. His eyes closed and he pressed the button, hearing the whine of the transporter, knowing it was taking her where he couldn't follow. Eyes still closed, he touched the button next to the one that had beamed her away. ~Her face when you proposed, her smile, her kiss, her bad jokes, her love for cheescake, the day you got married. . . ~ He opened his eyes, in time to see her body shoot away from him, from the life they had shared. --- Their quarters seemed so empty. Too quiet and too messy. She never could stand it when he left his uniform or PADD's strewn across the room. He sat on the bed and dropped his head into his hands. "Why'd you have to go on that away mission Hosh? They didn't need a linguist. Why'd you go?" It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his body when he thought of their last moments together. ~Trip, I'll be back in a few hours~ ~Aww come on darlin'. Its my one day off!~ ~I'll only be gone for 4 hours. And when I get back. . . you get a reward for being so patient.~ ~A reward? What kinda re- oh, that kinda reward.~ ~See ya later sweetheart~ He could still feel her parting kiss, the way she had smirked at him, lying sprawled on their bed. It hurts so bad, he thought. As Starfleet officers, they'd always been aware of the risks. But they'd never seriously considered the fact that they could lose one another. He picked up the photo frame that was on their bedside table. It had been taken on their wedding day. Both of them were in dark blue and gold dress uniforms. . . smiling so wide he was surprised that their faces hadn't split. The captain had taken the picture and performed the service that had come before it. The captain had been the one who had asked her to go along on the mission. Just a routine goodwill visit to a planet that believed very much in peace and harmomy. They loved language. But she never even made it to the planet. The planet was prone to sudden ion storms. It had pitched up of nowhere, forcing the shuttle down. T'Pol had fractured a rib, Mayweather had slight concusion, the Captain a broken arm. But Hoshi. . . the new safety belts Starfleet had distributed had been flawed. Hoshi's had malfuctioned and allowed her to be thrown from her seat. They'd beamed her straight to sickbay but it hadn't been quick enough. By the time Trip had got there, she'd already been pronounced dead. Dr Phlox had listed her injuries at his insistance: broken femur, torn ligaments, a broken wrist and left arm, lacerations, bruises, internal bleeding and severe head injuries. He'd pushed past the doctor and the recently arrived Malcolm to pull back the curtain that had obscured her body. He wished he hadn't, not until the doctor had cleaned away the blood. Every night when he closed his eyes, he saw her battered body, twisted at awkward angles. When the Captain had arrived, all hell had broken loose. Trip had dived for him, screaming and cursing, shouting all the obscenties he knew. ~Why did you ask her to go? Why? She's dead because of you! I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch! You killed my wife you! You're gonna pay for this! ~ It had taken T'Pol, Malcolm and two security officers to drag him away, so strong was his fury. When the red haze had subsided, his anger toward the captain had gone with it. It wasn't his fault. He'd just invited Hoshi on a mission she'd enjoy. He hadn't known that she'd be killed. It didn't make it hurt any less though. T'Pol, Jon, Travis. . . they were all alive. Yet the one person he couldn't live without had been taken away. --- The door chimed loudly. "Go away!" His voice was cracked and soft but he was sure that the person on the other side of the door had heard and understood. He lifted the bottle of bourbon and poured another shot with shaking hands. The doors swished open and T'Pol walked in purposefully. "I thought I told you to go away. Can't a man even get drunk in peace anymore?" "I am not here to interrupt your drinking. I am here to deliver a message." She held out a small data chip. "What's that? An instruction guide to blocking my emotions?" he downed the contents of his glass in one. "Sorry T'Pol, I can't cut them off so easy." "It is a message from your wife. She instructed me to give them to members of the crew in the event of her death. This is yours." Trip paused, putting the glass back on the table. "A message?" T'Pol put the chip next to his console. "Good night Commander. I am sorry for your loss." The door closed behind her. "Ain't we all." He went to the console and inserted the chip. Almost instantly her face filled the screen. He raised a trembling hand to touch her cheek. "I guess if you're watching this, I'm dead." She shrugged. "Yee. I didn't even like saying that. But it's a risk we take being out here. And although it scares me sometimes and makes me long to go home. . . I want you to know I wouldn't change a thing. Apart from not dying that is." She smiled wide and he echoed it. Trust Hoshi to try and make light of her own death. "Seriously though. . . if I had never boarded this ship, I would have never met you. And that's something I don't want to even contemplate. Trip, I love you. I have since that day on Manarous Prime, when we went to that beach with the pink sand and even pinker sky because everybody else wanted to visit those ruins. Do you remember?" He remembered. How damn beautiful she was and how scared he had been to be alone with her, knowing how he felt. "And then we were lying on the sand and you leaned over and kissed me. That was when I knew. Remember we tried to keep it quiet but the Captain caught as making out in the wardroom when we were meant to be translating that ship's engineering specs?" He laughed slightly. He remembered the Captain's knowing smirk and lame excuse to leave. On screen Hoshi bowed her head. "Trip, don't mourn too long. Get on with your life. When you get wherever I have gone, in many, many years from now, I expect you to have lots of stories for me. I know you want a family so go have one. . . " Trip choked back a violent sob. A family. That's what they'd planned together. A year or two more on the Enterprise then a transfer back to Earth so they could settle down. Now it was never going to happen. "I'm sorry I left you. But remember: Love you darlin'. Forever." She smiled as she spoke his frequent endearment. She blew him a kiss and turned the camera off, leaving the screen blank. What a metaphor, he thought, screen's blank without her, just like my life. He leaned over the desk, head pillowed on his arms and sobbed bitter tears. "Love you darlin'. Forever." --- The End