The BLTS Archive- Never Leave
by A.M. Glass (glasswrks@yahoo.com)

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Copyright: February 18th, 2001

Disclaimer: I'm not sure I need one, as I haven't mentioned anyone.

Author's Note: MAJOR angst warning here, perhaps even a hanky warning.
Hell, I felt bad just writing it, that's got to say something. I
should say that I was listening to Bryan White singing, "That's
Another Song" while writing this little ditty. BUT, this isn't a song-
fic.

Feedback: I'm not sure this should even go out to be read, let alone
commented about, but it's up to you.

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I'd like to say that I sang to her, let her know my feelings, let her
inside. . .

But I didn't.

I want to say that we'd take long walks, strolling hand in hand,
looking at things that wouldn't have meant anything to me without her.
. .

But I can't.

She never knew. . .

I'd make the clock unwind if I could.

Do whatever it took to place that smile on her face, to hear her
laugh.

To make her 'feel' that I cared.

I didn't know that I didn't have time.

Didn't know that the last time we said goodnight, it was the last
time.

I didn't even say, "I love you".

How hard could that have been?

Really, how hard would it have been to look into her eyes, and say, "I
love you."

She gave and she gave, and all I did was take.

And how I took.

I never had to ask twice, and she'd gladly give me what I wanted.

Yet, I held her at bay, I never let her get inside, to see the real
me.

I don't even know who that is.

To have her here for. . .  just for a moment or two, I'd give
everything I am for that second.

To tell her what she means to me. . .

How empty I am without her.

That I can't go on. . .

How I want to break down and cry, and how I won't let myself.

Can't let myself be vulnerable, to let anyone see this side of me,
this scared girl who wants to be held. . .

Wants to be loved.

But that moment is gone. . .

She's gone.

Why can I say this now when it's too late to do anything about it?

WHY!!!

I can't take her into my arms and never let her go. . .

DAMN IT. . .

Give me a chance. . .

I'll do better, I promise. . .

Please. . .

I'm begging. . .

I'll drop down to my knees if I have to. . .

DON'T take her away. . .

Please.

I LOVE HER.

Don't. . .

Leave me alone. . .

Don't touch me. . .

You don't understand. . .

I didn't get a chance to tell her. . .

I know she can hear me. . .

I know it. . .

Get out. . .

She's NOT DEAD.

SHUT UP!!!

Make them understand. . .

Tell them you're okay. . .

Please. . .

Wake up. . .

Plea. . .

Please. . .

don't leave me. . .

I'm sorry. . .

I can't live. . .  I don't want to. . .

"Wake up."

"Don't leave. . . "

"Honey. . .  wake up."

"Wha. . .  what?"

"Wake up, you're dreaming."

"You're alive. . .  you're alive. . .  oh God. . .  thank you. . .  I
love you. . .  I love you so much."

"That must have been some dream."

"Hold me. . .  please. . .  don't let go. Ever."

"Never. . .  come on, that's it. It's okay, shh. . .  it's okay, I'm
not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

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The End