The BLTS Archive- Kisses in the Rain One
The Courtship
by the Fredster (fred_and_wesley@hotmail.com)

---

As y'all know, I'm usually pretty easy to satisfy -- a little Wes and
a little smut and I'm set. But I've been readin' some of the stories
on BLTS and ASCEM, and these young Voyager guys remind me a lot of me
favorite studmonkey, especially Tom Paris. Nice tight ass, blue eyes,
big meaty hands -- there's some potential in the boy!

Anyway, I wrote this up over the past week -- it's a little different
than the usual Fred fare but I hope you like it anyway. It's the first
part of a trilogy I'm planning. It's dedicated to Belynda whose
stories I've been eating up, and Anne fer settin' me up so I can read
the BLTS stories. Ladies, if I were a cap-wearin' man I'd tip my cap
to ye. It's also dedicated to everyone celebrating Christmas and
Chanukah this month -- best o' the season to you and yours.

---

Harry Kim was a patient man, which in the Delta Quadrant was a good
thing. If he had been on a regular Starfleet ship, he would have a
promotion -- but he was still an ensign. If he were on a bigger ship,
he'd have larger quarters -- but he still only had one room. And if he
had been back in the Alpha Quadrant, he would be married -- but he was
still single. The last was tearing him apart.

It hadn't taken long for Harry to forget about Libby. He had loved her
as a boy loves a girl, not as a man loves a woman. And although he had
been attracted to many women on Voyager, his mind always returned to
one face -- Tom Paris's. Tom was the first thing he thought of in the
morning, the last thing he thought of at night, and usually the main
thing he thought of all day long. He was in love, and bad; but how
could he ever tell Tom? It didn't take a genius to know that Tom was
completely heterosexual, plus he was completely taken -- by a half-
Klingon at that.

"Why did I let it go so far," Harry murmured despondently, his eyes on
the stars as they swept past the viewport in his quarters. "Why do I
love the only man on the ship I can never have."

---

He had thought duty shifts would be easier now that the blond pilot
was regulated to gamma shift. Tom's warm, liquid tenor wouldn't send
his blood pressure through the roof, and his piercing cerulean glance
wouldn't send lightning bolts to Harry's cock at the worst moment.
Harry wouldn't feel the urge to bend the flyboy over his console and
take him there, right in the middle of alpha shift, damn the
consequences. But Tom's replacement at conn only emphasized what Harry
couldn't have. Not on the bridge, not in his quarters, not in the
holodeck, not in a grassy meadow on a deserted planet.....

"--phase variance, Ensign Kim?"

Harry jumped, startled; but fortunately his console supplied him with
the correct answer to the Captain's question. She gave him a hard look
as she acknowledged his reply, letting him know she wasn't fooled for
a second. Her glare said it all: get yourself together, mister, or get
off my bridge. He swallowed and brought his mind back to his work.

Shift finally came to an end. Harry briefed his replacement, then
hurried to the turbolift before anyone else could join him. The doors
shut; he slumped against the wall and let out the breath he hadn't
realized he'd been holding. He had to conquer this, he told himself,
or he'd end up scrubbing Jefferies tubes with Tom. Shoulder to
shoulder, back to back....ass to ass....thigh to thigh....skin rubbing
skin through thin uniform fabric....a hand brushing across his
groin....a tongue lapping at his earlobe...."Oh, Tom...." he groaned,
before he came back to reality and found himself standing alone (thank
the gods for that) in a stationary turbolift with what felt like the
hardest cock in the Delta Quadrant.

He scooted out the open doors, his eyes on the ground, his mind on
warp equations, not seeing the object of his desires standing at his
door -- until it was too late. He slammed into Tom, throwing him into
the wall ass-first.

"Hey!"

"Omigod, Tom, are you all right?"

"Shit, Harry," Tom growled, "you sure know how to greet an old
friend."

Harry flushed, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "I -- I guess I
didn't see you."

"I guess not." The pilot grabbed Harry's hand and hoisted himself up.
"Guess Ensign Paris isn't as noticeable as Lieutenant Paris was."

"It's not that," Harry replied as they entered his quarters. "It's
just -- my mind was on something else." He studied his friend as the
door closed behind them. "You're still upset about the demotion."

"I'm more angry over spending a month in the brig, but I won't lie --
losing that pip hurt." Tom flopped onto Harry's sofa, stretching an
arm out over the back. "But what really pisses me off is I could have
helped those people. But no, Captain By-The-Book has to bring me back
and make a lesson out of me. Don't help people unless the Captain says
so."

Harry listened silently as Tom continued to pour out his frustration.
Part of his brain was still focused on Tom's anger and bitterness at
having been punished for doing what he had thought was right; part was
thinking that even so, Tom had been wrong to try to impose his beliefs
on an entire planet; but most of Harry's mind was on Tom's long, lean
physique, his long fingers, his generous bulge, those blue, blue
eyes.....

"....and okay, she's coming off a major depression, but you'd think
she'd want to see me after a month. But no, the warp core needs
babying, or she's in the middle of some damn diagnostic. Worst part
is, I think she's really just avoiding me." Tom's eyes strayed down to
his hands, then back up to Harry's face. "Has she said anything to
you?"

"We don't talk much anymore," Harry said, not adding that he was so
jealous of her he couldn't stand to see her face.

Tom snorted. "Another great relationship bites the dust." He shrugged
at Harry's shocked look. "It's not like I wasn't expecting it. Ever
since we left the Void she's been ignoring me. I think Joe Carey sees
more of B'Elanna than I do." He turned and stared out the viewport,
his face a turmoil of emotions.

"Listen, Tom," Harry said. "I just got off shift. Wanna grab some
dinner and run a holoprogram?"

Tom rolled his eyes. "My holodeck privileges have been revoked until
further notice. Not even allowed to go in there unless it's ship's
business."

"You're kidding."

He turned back to look Harry straight in the face, his blue eyes
glistening. "Do I look like I'm kidding? No holodeck privileges, no
replicator rations, no PADDs except for ship's business...and fuck
knows when it'll end. I gotta tell you, I'm seriously thinking about
blowing this place."

"What?" Harry all but screamed. "You can't leave Voyager!"

"Excuse me, but what the fuck is there for me here?" Tom jumped up and
began to pace. "No responsibility, no free choice, nobody cares a
flying pig's shit about me..."

"I care." The words came out before Harry could stop them. Panicking,
he spluttered,  "I -- I mean I didn't I--"

"I know what you mean, and yes I know we're friends, but --" Tom
suddenly stopped in his tracks. "That's not what you mean, is it
Harry?"

"I -- I mean, I care what happens to you, and I care," he stammered,
looking up into Tom's face. "I care about you."

Tom dropped into a chair, too stunned to talk.

"I never wanted you to know," Harry began. "You were so obviously in
love with B'Elanna, and to tell the truth I didn't want her to kill
me. And even if you hadn't been seeing her, how could I tell you when
you've never even looked at a man? How could I admit I've fallen in
love with my best friend who --" He dropped his head into his hands as
tears welled up in his eyes and spilled over, leaving little dark
spots on the carpet.

Seeing the younger man's tears tugged at Tom's heart.  His throat
tightened with emotion as he rose from the chair and crossed to where
his friend sat.  Reaching out, Tom brushed his fingers over the glossy
black hair, over the tense neck to the even more tense shoulders.

"Tom...don't."

"Harry.  Look at me."

Shaking his head, Harry refused to look up.  When Tom's gentle hand
attempted to lift his chin, he pulled away.

Dropping to his knees in front of Harry, Tom now looked up into his
face.  "Why are you telling me this now, Har?"

"I'm ... I'm tired of being alone.  I'm tired of seeing you with
someone else.  I'm tired of waking up by myself."

"Harry..."

Hearing the pity in Tom's voice, Harry was disgusted with himself, and
with the whole damn situation.  "Paris - just drop it, okay?"

"No....not this time, Harry.  Remember what you said to me about my
father and quitting?  I think it's time to practice what you preach."
With that, he slid his hands from the younger man's shoulders to cup
his face between long pale fingers.

Looking deeply into his friend's eyes, he slowly closed the distance
between them and placed a gentle kiss on Harry's trembling lips.

Harry stilled for a moment, too afraid to actually feel the soft
butterfly caress, then pushed him away forcefully. "Don't do it!" he
half sobbed, half yelled. "Don't you fucking pity me, Paris!"

"Harry--NO!" Tom protested. "It's not like that..."

"Bullshit!" He jumped up, wiping his hands over his tear-stained
cheeks and runny nose angrily. "I'm not some mercy fuck or a friggin'
charity case!"

"Harry!" Tom's face grew stony with anger. "You're my *friend*, why
the hell would I..."

Harry felt like a fool. His face was red with embarrassment and his
chest burned from the sheer ridiculousness of his position. "Oh
God---oh shit--I feel so STUPID!" he groaned, as he tore himself away
from Tom and strode across the room.

Tom approached him warily, his own face suffused with pain. "You're
not stupid, Harry--don't ever think that!" Harry sniffled, his eyes as
wide as a child's, his face filled with such poignant sorrow that Tom
nearly smiled. Biting his cheek to prevent yet another fatal error he
entered the shadow of the viewport where Harry now stood and carefully
lowered himself on one knee.

"Harry...look at me..." The celestial man looked down in amazement at
the soft-faced man smiling gently in his shadow. "Harry...I love you.
You're my friend, my companion---until now, I've been calling myself
every kind of pervert for having fantasies about someone who thought
of me as a brother!"

"Paris...Tom..." Harry shook his head defeatedly as if to deny what
Tom was saying.

"No, Harry---dammit! Listen for once, okay?" Tom sighed in smiling
exasperation. "B'Elanna was nice and for a while I thought it was
love, but I knew it wasn't a forever thing. You and I...we understand
one another," he grinned. "You don't put up with my shit, Har -- I
like that."

Unable to prevent himself, Harry gave a damp grin. "Well, it's a hard
job but somebody's got to do it."

Suddenly, the fair haired man grew serious, "Not somebody -- you. Only
you." He reached out one long-fingered hand to his companion and Harry
trembled. "Harry, maybe this is too fast, or maybe I'm just an idiot.
But I can't see why we should spend years of our lives dancing around
each other when we both know what we want. We could both be dead
tomorrow." He paused to grasp both of Harry's hands in his as a tiny
tear formed in the corner of his eye. "Harry, marry me."

The younger man stood transfixed, unable to move let alone speak. His
mouth opened, closed; his eyes blinked once, then again. Finally, he
managed to squeak out, "M--marry you?"

Tom nodded in understanding. "I know it's kind of sudden, and I don't
expect an answer right now, but I spent a lot of time thinking in the
brig. I realized, Harry, that you and I were meant to be together.
B'Elanna, she's a nice girl, and I won't deny it was a big ego boost
to find out a girl that beautiful was in love with me, but -- but
she's not the one. You are."

Harry was still in shock. "I -- I have to think about this. I can't
just --"

"I know, I know," Tom murmured as he clambered up to stand in front of
the younger man. "Just think about it. I'll be here." He kissed Harry
again, just a soft little peck on the cheek, and then he was gone.

---

For the next month, Tom fulfilled that promise.  Every time Harry
turned around, he would find Tom...in the messhall, on the holodeck,
even at the gym.  Oh, Tom was never obvious about it, but Harry knew
that he was waiting for an answer. When Tom and B'Elanna's breakup
became public knowledge, Harry felt an irrational surge of guilt, and
he studiously avoided gossiping about it, afraid that he would reveal
his true feelings.

Some days he thought his heart would burst; some days he felt as if
the entire idea was a stupid joke. What did Tom see in him? he asked
himself as he regarded himself in the mirror. What did they really
have in common? Tom was hard, tough, no-nonsense, but an idealist who
would risk his career to save people he didn't even know. Harry was
quiet, introspective, artistic, but pragmatic - or cowardly, maybe.
But just when Harry had convinced himself it would never work, he
would see Tom at the beach, his hair mussed, teaching Naomi Wildman to
build a sandcastle, and all his carefully built defenses would crumble
as if they themselves were made of sand.

He loved Tom, and Tom loved him. How could he let such a good thing
slip away?

But how could he marry a man whom he'd kissed only one time!?! It
couldn't be that pat--that easy. No one just fell into marriage
instantly--there were rituals to learn, personal facts to root out! He
didn't know little things like what color his toothbrush was or what
side of the bed he preferred. He didn't know if he stood or sat when
he went to the bathroom! These were things a person should know before
they married someone. In fact, they could be perfect strangers--they
hadn't even dated yet!

A voice echoed between already pounding temples, "So...go on a date."

Not for the first time, Harry Kim wished he believed in a god he could
pray to. He needed guidance; should he follow his heart and say yes,
or should he take things slowly and find out more about Tom?  Because
Tom was right in one thing: they could be dead tomorrow. They might
not have the time for a long courtship -- or any courtship at all. He
swore at himself for taking so long to come to a decision. A month of
indecision, a month of sitting in his quarters wringing his hands --
where had it gotten him?

The voice echoed again, "Go on a date."

---

"So this is your mother's recipe?" Tom asked before spearing a chunk
of fish.

"My dad's. He did the cooking." Harry replied as he refilled Tom's
glass. "It's one of my favorites."

"Mm, it's good."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Tom smiled and put down
his fork. "Harry, we've eaten dinner together I don't know how many
times, and suddenly you're so nervous I swear you're ready to jump out
of your skin."

"Do you sit or stand?" Harry suddenly blurted.

"What?"

"Do you sit or stand? You know, when you..." and he looked over at the
fresher.

Tom blinked a few times, looked at the fresher door, and turned back
to give Harry a puzzled look. "And this relates to our dinner...."

"I need to know, Tom. Do you sit or stand?"

"I stand, usually."

Harry took a deep breath. "Good."

Tom raised his eyebrows as he picked his fork up and returned to his
meal. "Okay, fine."

"It's just the kind of thing you need to know."

"If you say so, Har."

"It is!" Harry insisted, then paused. "I'm sure that there are some
things about me you want to know."

Tom contemplated his statement for a minute as he chewed. "Nope."

"Nothing?" Harry asked hopefully.

Tom sighed then dropped his fork silently, "Okay Harry, how do you
pee?"

"No! I mean....well..."

"Harry..." The Asian man's eyes lifted to the soft dulcet tones of his
would-be lover. "I know everything about you I need to know. I only
have one small question and I've already asked it once."

Harry froze; his heart pounded in his throat for a brief but utterly
terrifying moment. "Uhh..."

Tom rose from the chair and walked around to kneel at Harry's feet.
Taking his face in his hands, he kissed him until he felt breathless.
"My mother's middle name was Smyrna..." kiss, "I have a scar on my
left knee from when I climbed a tree to spy on Lucy Tannenbaum because
she had breasts..." deep kiss, "I dress left."

Harry felt himself sucked into a vortex of pure sensation as Tom's
tongue and lips caressed and enflamed him. "Yesss..."

Paris paused. "Yes, you'll marry me or yes, don't stop until we are
reported as AWOL?"

Harry's heart skipped a beat. "Both."

Paris gave a wide, earthshattering grin. "That can be done." And again
they kissed.

---

The End