The BLTS Archive- Mine
by Cheryl Forbes (forbesc@skyia.com)

---

Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Whatever.

---

"Oh Chakotay."

Tom pulled off his uniform jacket and threw it across an arm of the
lounge before collapsing on it and throwing his head back.  His eyes
slipped shut as he remembered.

Earlier that night he and Harry had been relieving the day's stress
over a game of pool in Sandrine's.  The last sector they had
traversed had been a real bitch.   Asteroids and small moons had
littered the star field making for some very tricky flying and Tom
swore he heard the whole ship release a collective breath when they
cleared it.  As result Sandrine's was hopping, full to the brim with
crewmembers ready to burn off a little of that tension.

Harry noticed Chakotay's entrance before he had, waved him over to
the table and before Tom had anything to say about it, the ensign was
handing over his cue to the commander. 

Well wasn't that just fucking terrific.  Tom never played well
against the commander.  For some reason whenever he was in close
proximity to the commander he found it very difficult to concentrate
on anything else and a result his game suffered.  Oh well, he already
won a few replicator credits from Harry, he supposed he could afford
one game with the man.

"Your break, Commander."

"We're not on the bridge Tom, you can call me Chakotay."

Tom nodded and Chakotay leaned forward to take his shot.  His ears
followed the sound of the balls clicking but his eyes followed the
line of the commander's nicely formed ass.  When he realized what he
was doing he quickly brought his attention back to the table noticing
there were a few less balls there than before.

"Nice balls, Chakotay."

Gods, did he really just say that?  Chakotay raised an eyebrow and
gave him one of his famous Mona Lisa smiles.

"Thank you, Tom."

He moved around the table for his next shot brushing past the
lieutenant briefly allowing shoulder to touch shoulder.  Chakotay
missed his shot leaving a particularly tricky one for Tom.  He
stretched himself across the table bracing his hip against the edge
for balance and sank the ball.

"Nice form, Tom."

Gods, did the commander really just say that?  He gave the man a self-
defacing smile and positioned himself for his next shot.  He felt the
big guy come up behind him to watch.

"Your angle's all wrong."  Tom heard the voice come closer to his
ear.  "It's like this."

Strong arms aligned themselves with his and a warm front covered his
back.  It was a glorious sensation, too glorious in fact for
Sandrine's, Tom thought as he tried to listen to Chakotay's
instructions.

"Now try it."

The commander removed his blanketing warmth and Tom feeling a little
bereft made his shot.  He missed the pocket by a lightyear.

"Good try."

A consoling hand padded his back as Tom straightened to give the man
access to the table for his turn.   Chakotay was still standing
directly behind him and when he turned hips met hips and chests met
chests.  They stood there a moment both acknowledging that the game
they were playing had nothing to do with pool, before Chakotay broke
the spell by stepping back and taking his turn.

Tom watched the commander clear the table in a daze.  For the last
half-hour he'd been actually flirting with the first officer and if
that wasn't amazing enough the first officer was flirting right back
and none too subtly either.  He had noticed a few sly smiles and
winks in his direction and then there was Harry.

The fresh young ensign had been dancing in his chair trying not to
notice the play by play between him and the commander.  Seeing his
mentor in all things female jump to the other side of the pond, must
be rocking his traditional hetro paradigm.  Tom shook his head.  Poor
Harry didn't know what he was missing.

"That's game.  Do you want to play again?"

Harry forgotten, the lieutenant fastened his eyes on something he had
overlooked these past six years.  It had been along time since he'd
felt desire for a man, the credit going directly to the prison in
Auckland thank you very much, but in his wildest dreams he would
never had guessed that Chakotay would be the one to rekindle that
fire.

"Tom?"

"Yeah Chak I want to play."  He moved a little closer out of Harry's
earshot.  "But not here OK?"

The commander looked up into his face; his own not betraying one iota
of emotion and took the pool cue from his hand.  OK, Tom thought his
confidence flagging, here comes the part where he wacks me up side
the head with my own pool cue for propositioning him.

"OK let's go."

Half expecting to feel the blow to his head, Tom was relieve and then
surprised to feel it in his heart.   Chakotay put down the cue on the
table, took him by the elbow and lead him out of Sandrine's leaving a
very confused ensign in his wake.

---

"Computer halt lift."

They had been standing side by side not touching in deference to the
other passengers on the turbo-lift, who had they had just deposited
on deck eight, when Chakotay issued the order.

Chakotay turned him to face him and held him gingerly by the biceps.
Tom began to quiver slightly whether it was in anticipation or just
plain nervousness he wasn't sure.  The big guy sensed his unease.

"Tom, I want to kiss you but if you don't want me to I won't, OK?"

"I want you to."

"You're sure, cause we can stop this right now and…- "

"Oh fuck Chakotay!"

Partly out of frustration and partly out of fear the big guy was
talking himself out of this, Tom lunged forward and shut him up.
Chakotay was slammed back into the wall of the lift as Tom's highly
educated lips and tongue explored that sensuous full mouth.

The commander's hands went down to cup the pilot's ass and bring him
closer to heat welling in his groin.  He heard Tom's breath hitch and
his shoulder stiffen at the contact momentarily before he was
assailed by the grinding of the lieutenant's hips against his own.

"Gods, Chakotay I want you!"

When the tremor in Tom's voice pulled him nearer to the edge, he knew
it was time to slow things down.  He was the first officer after all
and he was pretty sure that dry humping the chief pilot in the turbo
lift was against Starfleet regulations.  He shifted his pelvis back
and returned his palms to the biceps of his future lover.

"Tom, baby hold up."  Pearly white teeth nipped at his earlobe almost
breaking his resolve. "Tom, stop and look at me!"

A wonderfully flush face with irises ringed in blue presented it self
to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong other than the fact that we're moving faster than
the turbo lift."

"And your point would be?"  Tom trailed the tip of his tongue along
Chakotay's jawline.

"My point is, I'd rather not give the engineering crew a free show
when they show up to find out why the lift is stuck, OK?"

"Good point."  Tom released the commander from the wall and snaked a
hand into his.

"Computer resume, deck three and step on it!"

---

"Janeway to Chakotay."

Pale fingers encased his wrist stopping his hand in mid motion as Tom
pressed him harder into wall to beside the door.  He had barely made
inside the lieutenant's quarters before he had beset upon by those
talented lips again.

"Don't answer it."

"I have to."

Tom shrugged his shoulders, let go his wrist and dropped down in
front of him.  Chakotay felt his erection released from his trousers
as he hit his comm badge.

"Yes Captain."

As teeth and lips coursed up one side of his cock and then back down
the other, the commander bit the inside of his cheek to keep from
moaning.

"Can you meet me in my ready room?"

"Now?"

He reached a hand down intending stop the head at his groin but as he
felt Tom's mouth begin to suck his now weeping penis, his hand
retracted and placed itself flat against the wall behind him.

"Yes, and I know it's late but I won't be able to sleep tonight until
I get this one last report finished.  I promise it'll only take
fifteen minutes tops."

Tom began to hum.

"Fine, Kathryn I'm on my way.  Chakotay out."

Simultaneously the commander slapped the connection closed and lifted
his hips from the wall thrusting in and out of the lieutenant's mouth.

"Oh yes Tom…oh yes.  Oh yes!"

A hand stilled his hips as the pilot began working him in earnest.
He felt teeth slide along the underside of his cock then nip at the
head before drawn in again and again.

When he felt a finger flick the puckered opening of his ass, he came
explosively.  Tom let go of his hips allowing him to pump as the
pilot swallowed every drop of his release.  When the moment passed he
slid down the wall bringing him eye level with an extremely self-
satisfied looking blonde.

"You are too wicked, you do know that don't you?"

"Is that a complaint?"

"No, just a statement of fact."  Chakotay grasped his now lover by
the nape. "Now come here."

Tom expecting to receive a crushing kiss was startled when he felt
soft lips on his brow.   Chakotay released him and eyed the very
evident bulge in his pants.

"I be back for that later.  Wait for me?"

"Yeah, we'll both be here with bells on."

"Bells?  That makes for a very interesting picture."

Tom rolled his eyes and helped the big guy to his feet.  Chakotay put
himself to rights and then hauled Tom into his arms for that
previously expected crushing kiss before entering the corridor.

---

"Oh Chakotay."

Tom broke from his revelry to find himself stroking a very large hard-
on through his trousers.   He took his hand away from the now aching
member hoping Chak would hurry his ass and get back here before he
burst.

In an effort to distract himself from the torture below his waist,
Tom decided on a shower.  Yeah that's the ticket, he'd be all bright
and shiny for his new lover, Chakotay.  Tom laughed aloud as he made
his way to the bedroom.  All of the good looking men aboard Voyager
he had ended up with the one person he didn't even think liked him
very much to be his first male lover since prison.   He was still
trying to wrap his brain around that one when he heard the bedroom
doors swish open behind him.

He never saw it coming.  First there was a blinding pain as something
hit him from behind and then there was only blackness.

---

The assailant leaned forward and felt for a pulse.  It was there but
it was thready, good he was still alive.   Now it was time to deliver
the message.  Using the instrument of the blow itself the attacker
traced out in the blood pooling around the young man's head four
letters.

M - I - N - E

---

"How is he?"

The commander took his seat beside Tuvok slowly trying to give
himself time to master his anger before answering the captain.  When
he was more or less settled in both body and mind he looked at her
across her desk.

"Better.  The EMH was able to stop the cranial bleeding before the
pressure caused any permanent damage.  He's sleeping now."

The captain's shoulders softened a moment in relief before
straightening in her chair and directing her gaze at Commander Tuvok.

"Tuvok, what the hell happened?"

The security chief brought up the PADD he'd been holding in his hand
and began to inform the captain of the status of his investigation
thus far.

"Two hours ago, at approximately 20:15 Commander Chakotay found
Lieutenant Paris in his quarters unconscious and bleeding from a
wound at the base of his skull.  The wound was not self inflicted nor
was it accidental.  It would seem that the lieutenant was struck from
behind by an unknown assailant with an unidentified blunt object."

Nervous energy forced Kathryn to stand and lean over the back of her
chair.

"An unknown assailant.  Chakotay, did Tom say anything to you in
Sickbay about who it might have been?"

"No.  After the Doc repaired the damage he sedated him.  We never
spoke."

"Tuvok what about entry logs.  Who else was there?"

"During that time period the logs show only the lieutenant and the
commander signatures.  The attacker did not gain entrance to the
cabin through the doors."  Tuvok anticipated the captain's next
question.  "I also checked transporter logs for a possible site to
site transfer with negative results."

"What about a personal transporter?"

"That is a possibility Commander.  The schematics for such a device
is in Voyager's data banks.  Given the right materials, it would not
take exceptional technical skills to build one."

The captain paced behind her chair, her patience wearing thin. She
could deal with the violence of other worlds but to have it happened
in her own world, on her ship, chilled her soul.

"If we don't know what Tom was hit with, who the culprit is or how he
or she gained access to his quarters, what do we know Tuvok?"

"A great deal Captain if my theory is correct.  For instance I
believe the attacker is male."

Chakotay turned to Tuvok.

"How can you be so sure?  Some of the females aboard ship are larger
than their males counterparts, so strength or size couldn't be
factor."

"That is true which is precisely why I didn't not explore that avenue
of reasoning.  I derived my hypothesis from reading the depositions
taken from the patron's of Sandrine's and the available physical
evidence."

Both Chakotay and Kathryn stifled a shudder.  The "physical evidence"
Tuvok was referring to was the solitary word written in Tom's
blood.   That one act cast a malevolent shadow over an already
frightening incident.  Tuvok took little notice of their discomfort
and continued on.

"I believe the incident was an act of jealously sparked by the
commander's sexual advances towards the lieutenant in Sandrine's
earlier this evening."

Kathryn had read the reports too and while she was a little amazed at
the behavior of her first officer, he was not the first person to pay
Tom that kind of attention.

"Tuvok, Tom's had other relationships in the past that haven't caused
this kind of turmoil, what's the difference?"

"The difference Captain is gender.  Mr Paris' previous relationships
have been with females.  I suspect that the perpetrator has seen
those liaisons as little or of no consequence but does not see one
with another male as such.  He is seen as a rival."

"So he sees me as a threat and attacks Tom to warn me off?" The
commander shook his head in disbelief.  "Tuvok that doesn't make any
sense.  Why would he hurt him if he wants him?"

"Sense has very little to do with it Commander.  We are dealing with
someone who perceives things differently than we do.  In his mind he
may feel that he and Tom share a connection, one that the lieutenant
would be totally unaware of."

"So this would have to be somebody fairly close to Tom?"

"No not necessarily. They need not be friends but merely casual
acquaintances.   He could see a brief look of acknowledgment of
passing in the corridor or an unconscious gesture in the messhall as
a secret signal of affection from Tom meant only for him."

"So now he's punishing Tom for betraying this...this relationship he
thinks they have?"

"Yes Captain I believe so."

Chakotay leaned forward with his hands white knuckling his knees.

"So how do we find him?  Previous psyche evaluations?"

"I fear not as this type of ertomania consistently fails to be
detected in standard Starfleet testing."

Tuvok was acutely aware that both the commander and the captain were
expecting some form concrete action from him.  He provided them with
the only options available, limited though they were.

"For now while I continue my investigation I would recommend constant
monitoring of the lieutenant's quarters and a security detail."

The captain ran a hand through her short cropped hair as she
considered her security officer's recommendations.

"Very well Tuvok keep me informed.  Chakotay please update Mr Paris
on the facts of the investigation in the morning.  Dismissed."

"Captain if I may.  There is one other measure we might take to
ensure the lieutenant's continued safety."

"One moment Chakotay.  What is it Tuvok."

"I would recommend that the Commander not pursue a romantic
relationship with Mr Paris until after the attacker is apprehended."

The same thought had crossed her own mind but she had been loath to
say it out loud.  She had no desire to issue commands regarding her
first officer's love life no matter what the circumstance.  His faced
betrayed no emotion as she looked to him for understanding.  He just
nodded as he spoke.

"Agreed."

---

"Absolutely no fucking way Chakotay!"

After tracking the errant pilot from Sickbay to his quarters, he had
found him relaxing on the lounge in his sleep pants.  The commander
sat next to him as he relayed the events of the previous night's
meeting. Tom had listened quietly and calmly but when he had gotten
to Tuvok's recommendations, he had flown from the couch in a fury.
Chakotay went after him.

"Tom it won't be forever, just until we find the guy who hurt you,
OK?"

"No Chak it's not OK!"  Tom rounded on the commander, "I won't let
some nutcase tell me who I can be with and who I can't."  He threw a
hand in the direction of the doors of his cabin.  "And I won't have
Tuvok's henchmen following me around every where I go!"

Damn him Chakotay thought as his concern for the willful young pilot
translated into anger.  Tom was acting like a spoilt child who didn't
want to take his medicine no matter how good it was for him.

"Well I'm sorry but for the mean time you're just going to have to
live with it!"  The blue eyes looking into his brown ones darkened.

"Yeah but can you live with it Chakotay?"  Tom's voice lowered as he
loosened the drawstring of his pants and let them fall.  "Or should I
say without it?"

Not giving the man time to react, Tom curled a hand around the
commander's neck and swiftly took his mouth.   He used his lips and
tongue as best as he knew how and used his other hand to grasp a
wrist placing Chakotay's palm around his cock.

He released the big guy's lips but not his wrist and as he continued
to masturbate using his lover's hand, he whispered.

"Take me."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."  The wrist in his hand began to move by it own
violation.  "Gods, Chakotay you already are."

He heard a sharp intake of breath before shaking hands pulled him
back.  Tom watched as Chakotay stood before him and silently stripped
the clothes from his magnificent body.  The commander remained mute
as he took him by the hand and he led him into his bedroom.

The sound of the bedroom doors swishing behind him caused him to
flinch and his eyes to lower.  He had been in here briefly to change
earlier and had noted that the blood had cleaned from the carpet
however he hadn't known about the writing then.  The attack had been
scary but the word MINE scrawled in "his" blood was downright
creepy.  Chakotay noticed his agitation and pulled up next to him.

"It's all gone Tom."

"Who?"

"Neelix.  He came in after Tuvok was done."

"Oh."

Chakotay berated himself for even thinking of taking pleasure from
the shell shock man beside him.  Spirits, Tom didn't need this added
complication in his life right now after being violated so brutally.
He placed an arm around his waist and sat with him on the edge of the
bed.

"I think right now you should get some rest.  I'll check on you later
to see how you're doing all right?"

The light came back on in the lieutenant's eyes.   Tom reached out
and slid a hand across the commander's smooth chest, testing the
flesh of his nipples with his fingertips.

"I don't want you to go."

"I'll be back later I promise and we can talk, OK?"

The hand moved lower to Chakotay's semi-flaccid penis.  He cradled it
in his palm as if testing its weight and stroked it with his thumb.
The bright eyes watched for the commander's reaction to the stimulus.

"You said that last time and looked what happened."

"If I hadn't been here at all nothing would have happened.  I'm sorry
but if he finds out, he may try to hurt you again."

"I don't care."

He didn't really.  The effect of touching Chakotay was already
pushing his fears to the back burner.  It had been so long since he
had felt such longing for anybody it totally overwhelmed his fear.
He needed this badly and the commander had to understand that.

"Chak stay with me just for a little while."  His lips caressed the
fine lines of the commander's tattoo.  "Make me yours not his."

Realization dawned on the first officer.  Tom needed him to feel
safe, to wash away the taint and replace it with something clean.
Besides if the attacker already knew he was here, he would probably
assume they were having sex anyway.  So denying Tom or quite frankly
himself just this once wouldn't make any difference.  He scooted up
on the bed.

"Come here."

Tom turned and crawled his way up the commander.  Stopping to kiss
the inside of a dark skinned thigh, and a lick taut brown nipple
before lying prone atop Chakotay's body.  Thick fingers dug into his
butt pulling him closer as teeth and lips alternately nipped and
kissed him along his neck and shoulder.

"You taste so good."

Tom's head dipped down to lave the darken nipples.

"Mmm. Right back at you big guy."

Chakotay laughed turned Tom over sealing the smart mouth with his
own.   Using his dominant position he rubbed against the pale body
beneath him creating a delicious friction.  The feeling of the
moisture from Tom penis spreading along his own caused his stomach to
tremble.   Tom began to moan and buck beneath him.

"Oh fuck Chak, you're killing me here."  His eyes motioned to the
right. "Top drawer, quick."

The commander not wanting to relinquish his contact with the
lieutenant pulled him with him as he went for the lube.  Tom got the
idea and rolled with him.  The problem was Chakotay wasn't expecting
the maneuver and the momentum carried both the men over the edge of
the bed landing in a heap on the carpet.

"Well that was graceful."

Tom looked into the commander's amused face as he laid on top of him
and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever.  Now do you think can you stop the colourful commentary
and acrobatics long enough to fuck me?"

"Your wish is my command, master."

The next sound Tom heard was the popping of the lid of the vial
Chakotay had amazing been able to retrieve during their tumble.  He
rolled the lieutenant over on his back and poured the musky scented
oil into a pool on his belly.   Using his fingers Chakotay swirled
the oil around and over his nipples causing him to suck his breath
between his teeth and his back to arch.

"More?"

"Yesss."

The slickness was spread down his belly, over his near bursting
erection where eventually it was worked into the puckered opening of
his ass.   As fingers slid in and out, Chakotay mimicked the action
with his tongue in his mouth.  The heat was building in the base of
his gut causing his penis to weep freely.  If Chakotay didn't stop
soon the show was going to be over before it started.

"Gods Chakotay fuck me."  He spread his knees back as far he
could. "Now dammit!"  Chakotay pulled back and smiled.

"Yes master."

The commander stroked himself a few times with an oiled hand before
leaning over and pushing between the cheeks of his lover's ass.  He'd
tried to go slow but one look at Tom's head thrown back in pleasure
made it impossible and he began pumping frantically.

"Yes Chak, oh gods harder. Oh gods……."

The commander pounded into the screaming man watching as his seed
spilled and listening to him as called his name in rapture.   It was
too much; Chakotay came hard shooting deep inside Tom. Rocking a few
last times he pulled out and fell to his back beside his lover. They
lied adjacent to each other on the carpet, gulping breaths of air.

When he had recovered enough the commander propped himself up on an
elbow.   He took the lieutenant's face in his hand and brushed his
lips with his thumb.   As those bright sparkling blue eyes gazed up
at him he moved closer and whispered.

"Mine."

---

"Hey Mort what's up?"

Crewman Harren gave him a cursory glance before grabbing his utensils
and heading for his usual table in the corner of the messhall.  Tom
kept talking anyway.

"I'm fine by the way."  Harren ignored him and kept walking. "You
know just in case you where wondering."  Tom shrugged his shoulders
and turned back to the buffet.  It was not a pretty sight.

While spooning a particularly viscous pink dish on to his plate and
hoping it wouldn't taste as bad as it looked, its culinary creator
approached him.

"Good evening Tom."

"Hey Neelix."

"You OK?"

As he talked the colourful Talaxian filled Tom's plate.  He was
showing his concern by feeding him the lieutenant guessed.

"Ah I'm fine."  Tom pulled his over flowing plate back from the
Talaxian's reach.  "Thanks for cleaning up my quarters.  I really
appreciated it."

Neelix waved off his thanks and put a hand on his arm.

"You're really OK?"

Tom gave him his sincerest smile.  "Yeah I'm really OK."  And he
meant every word.   His morning with Chakotay and gone a long way in
quieting his fears and Chak's too he supposed.  Tom had agreed to
Tuvok's security measures and to, this was the hard part, keep his
hands to himself until they nabbed the nutbar who hit him.  Giving
Neelix one last flash of his pearly whites, Tom went over to join
Harry.

He carefully placed his over full plate down before sitting across
from his best friend.

"Hungry?"

The smirk on the ensign's face told him that Harry had probably
witnessed the whole "mother" Neelix scene.  He poked at the mass on
his plate.

"Yeah, I took an extra helping of Talaxian Concern.  Want some?"

"Pass."  The smirk faded.  "So are you all right?"

Man this line was getting really tiresome.  The lieutenant put down
his fork and sighed in exasperation.

"Yes Harry, I'm "fine", I'm great, I'm fan fucking tastic."

The ensign fell back as if he had hit him.  Tom kicked himself
mentally.  This wasn't Harry fault.

"Sorry Har.  I guess I'm a bit jumpy but mostly I am fine." Still
trying to get that kicked puppy look of the ensign's face, Tom
indulged him in his favorite hobby, gossip.  "So what's the buzz
around the ship?"  Harry's face beamed, it worked.

"Well the last thing I heard was that a jealous lover caught you and
the commander last night…uh…uh."  Harry looked down at his
hands.

"Playing chess?"

"No."

"Dancing?"

"No."

"Calibrating tri-corders?"

"No!"

"How about fucking?  Was that it Harry, someone came in and caught
Chak and I doing the horizontal mambo?"

The ensign glared at him. "Yes, and then there was a big fight over
you and you got hurt trying to break it up."

"You're kidding right, the commander fighting over me?"

"Well he was seen going into your cabin last night, not to mention
him being there all this morning."

Tom had a real urge to tell Harry he'd got the fucking part backwards
and the jealous lover was some crazed sicko but fought it.   Tuvok
thought it was better to keep the details of the attack
confidential.

"You know Harry the commander could have just really been in my
quarters playing chess this morning and last night.  And as for my
head, maybe I had one too many at the bar and slipped in the
shower."  He pushed his chair back.  "I know it's not as exciting but
it is a lot more plausible."

"Yeah but…"

Deciding on using up a few replicator credits on something more
edible and eating in his cabin, Tom rose from his chair.

"See ya Harry."

As a flustered ensign watched two security guards follow Tom out of
the messhall, he finished his sentence.

"…you don't know how to play chess."

---

3 hours 23 minutes.  He leaned over his console and checked the log
again.  3 hours 23 minutes.  The sensors showed that for the majority
of that time they had been in the sleep area and they had not been
sleeping.  It wasn't right.

Why had he not heeded his message?  Why had he not believed?  Did he
need something else?  Yes that was it.  Perhaps something more
personal, more romantic would work.

He switched off the computer to prepare.

---

"Computer kill alarm."

The computer complied with lieutenant's command and brought the
ambient light level up 30 percent.  Tom brought his arm's up over his
eyes and moaned.

"Shit do you have to do that?"

"Affirmative, by order of Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."

"Whatever."  The pilot nestled down deeper in his bed and squeezed
his eyes shut. "Well turn off the damn lights and wake me again in
half an hour."

"Negative, by order of Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."

The lights went up another 20 percent.

"Fuck."

One of these days he'd have to find this Thomas guy and kick his butt
across the quadrant.   Tired of fighting the inevitable, not to
mention a taskmaster of a computer, Tom opened his eyes and sat up.

"It is now 07:15 hours."

"I'm up, I'm up, OK?"

He pulled the covers back and got out of bed.  He was stretching the
sleep out of his muscles when he saw it, a small holo disc sitting on
his nightstand.   It hadn't been there when he'd gone to bed last
night, he was sure of it.   He picked it and threaded through his
fingers before activating it.

It was a perfect red rose.  Chakotay, he thought and as smile started
to form on his lips the image changed.   The petals turned black and
thorns became more pronounced.   Tom dropped the disc and as it
bounced on his bed, an audio file began to play, looping one word
over and over,

M - I - N - E

---

"Then what the hell happened, Tuvok?"

Tom plopped down on the lounge in the ready room beside Chakotay who
unconsciously shifted towards him.   From the corner of her desk
where she was perched, the captain echoed her chief pilot's question
but with a little more tact.

"Yes Tuvok, if the room was supposed to be monitored, why didn't the
sensors pick up the transport of the disc into Tom's room?"

Tuvok standing in the middle of the room turned to face his
commanding officer.

"The sensors did pick up the transport, however the alarm was set for
a bio-signature only."

Kathryn shook her head and threw her arms out in exasperation.

"Fine then what information did we gather about the transport?"

"The holo disc was beamed into the lieutenants quarters at 03:00 by
an independent device which I've tracked to its source.  It was as we
suspected a personal transporter."

"You've found it?"

"Yes commander my security team found the device on the Observation
Deck."  And now for the bad news.  "Unfortunately it had a preset
timer so I am unable to determine when the device was placed."

"Meaning it could be one of how many people…" Tom looked to the
security chief.

"47 crewmembers visited the deck yesterday."

"OK one of 47 different people who could have set it."  He threw his
arm back over the rear of the lounge, his fingers lightly resting at
the nape of Chakotay's neck.  "Which means we're right back where we
started," He fought the urge to place his head on the commander's
shoulder as he finished.  "Absitively, posolutely no where."

The commander feeling the light caress at the back of his neck,
folded his arms in an effort to prevent himself from pulling the
distraught man beside him closer to his side.  He racked his brain.
They had to missing something but what.

"What about the hologram itself.  Is there any significance to a dead
rose?"

Tuvok went to his PADD.  "Terran folklore describes the giving of
dead flowers as a farewell or as a symbol of death.  A withered
flower may also mean despair."

"Great!  So the guy either wants to kill me or maybe he's just having
a really bad hair day." Tom's agitation caused him to move flush
against the commander.  "Well that makes me feel a whole lot better.
Thanks Tuvok."

The captain could see the pilot trying to draw comfort from her first
officer and she could also see how hard it was for Chakotay to not to
openly give it.   Their relationship was deepening fast.  She
wondered if the attacker knew how counter productive his actions
were, that all he was doing was bringing these two men closer.  She
directed her concentration back to her security officer.

"What about the weapon?  Are you any closer to finding out what it
was?"

"The computer is still searching Voyager's databanks Captain, it will
only be a matter of time before we discover the instrument of
attack."  Noting Mr Paris' rolling eyes he continued.  "I have also
instituted a data recovery program looking for any further use of the
schematic files or of the use of the word "mine"."

"Very well Tuvok keep me informed and please escort Mr Paris back to
his quarters."

Tom disengaged himself from the commander to stand in front
her.  "With your permission Captain I'd like to complete my shift on
the bridge."

"Not today Mr Paris, dismissed."

With one last glance back at Chakotay he left with Tuvok.   Kathryn
hopped off the edge of her desk to sit beside the commander on the
lounge.  She noted how his eyes followed the pilot's exit.

"He'll be all right."

"I know."  Slowly he drew his eyes from the door to look at her. She
saw all the fear, the hate and the love reflected in those ebony
orbs.  He turned his head to the stars whizzing by the viewport and
continued.

"He has to be."

---

"Paris to Chakotay."

As he tapped the comm badge on the night table he noted the time on
the chrono, 01:15.  Fear made his throat tighten.

"Tom, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I'm OK.  Where are you?"

"I'm in bed trying to sleep, and you?"

"Ditto.  So what are you wearing?"

"A sleep shirt.  Why?"

"Beep wrong answer."

"Excuse me?"

"Ask me what I'm wearing."

"OK…what are you wearing?"

"Nothing but a smile and a hard on with your name on it."

"Tom, you know I can't come there."

"I know baby but you can cum there.  Take off your shirt."

"Oh.  It's off.  What are you doing?"

"I'm licking my fingers and rubbing my nipples remembering your lips
on them." *pause*  "Mmm.  Tell me Chakotay, tell me what you're
doing."

"Thinking of those fingers, your long elegant fingers sliding down my
back and that beautiful mouth on mine."

"Yes.  I'm sucking that luscious lower lip, flicking my tongue into
your wetness."

"Touch me Tom."

"My nails are scratching up your sides, across your chest and
scraping your nipples."

"Yes and I'm tasting that glorious neck, feeling the softness of your
hair with my face."

"I feel your warm breath on my face." *pause* "Oh baby, I'm slipping
my fingers around your cock.  Gods, you're so hot, so huge.  Move for
me baby."

"I am.  Oh spirits."

"Tell me Chak, tell me."

"I slipping my hand around yours and bringing your cock against mine,
oh…" *pause* "You're wet, my is thumb running over your head
spreading the wetness over mine."

"Yesss that's good baby.  I'm fucking your hand Chakotay, it's so
good, so good.  Can you feel me thrusting into your palm."

"Yesss.  Oh, Tom I can't, I can't…"

"Pumping, pumping, oh fuck, I'm coming.  Oh fuck I can't
stop…Chak!"

"Tom!"

Rustling bedcovers, soft cries and labored breathing evening out
carry across the comm link.

"Chak?"

"I'm here Tom."

A few moments of silence pass.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too Poocuh."

---

"So can you play the "I miss you so much my eyelashes hurt" blues?"

Harry looked up from his plate.  Not feeling like parading through
the messhall today with his Tuvokian convoy, Tom had convince Harry
to lunch in the ensign's quarter's, his treat.

"Tom if I play for you we won't have time to eat."

Tom swirled his spoon in his tomato soup playing with the congealing
skin and thought, so who wanted to eat?

"Right, right."  So he if couldn't gain solace from the strains of
Harry's clarinet, he have to do with talking.  Not sure of his best
friend's reaction to him mooning over another guy he tested the
waters.

"Harry have you ever been with a man before?"

The ensign went as white as the bread on his chicken salad sandwich
and took a big gulp of his milk before answering.

"You mean like sex?"

"Yeah."

"No."

OK, so he hadn't done it but that didn't mean maybe didn't want to
try it.

"Have you ever thought about it then?"

"What do you mean?"

Harry was being obtuse.  That's OK, Tom could play to that.  He'd
just keep talking and watched the man's reactions.

"I dunno, maybe when Gerron Tem walks by you in the messhall and
looks at you with those pretty doe eyes of his, do you start feeling
a little warm below the equator?"

"No."

Strike one.

"OK what about when we're playing pool and Billy Telfer asks to use
your stick?  No stirring of the one eye trouser snake?"

"No, Tom."

Strike two.

"OK let's see who else?  Oh I know.  What about that guy from the
Equinox.  What's his name Noah, Noah Lessing, he's big black and
beautiful."

"No Tom I don't want to sleep with Noah."

Strike three.

Hell there had to be somebody that turned his crank.  He'd figured at
least one of the guys he mentioned would have something that would
appeal to Harry.  Tem had that little boy lost look to him, Billy
would be a willing bottom and then there was Noah.  Noah would be a
definite on your knees and do me now kind of guy.  What was left?
Tom looked at his friend who was it seemed waiting for the next
example.  Realization hit him like a thunderbolt.   Me?  No, that
couldn't be because he belonged to…. -

"Chakotay."

Gods, had he said that out loud?  As he started to explain to Harry
that they could only be just friends he saw the man's reaction to
hearing the commander's name.

"We should go."

As Tom sat watching as the ensign furtively started to clear away
their lunch dishes and put them back into the replicator, he realized
it why they were such good friends.  They liked the same things.
Tom got up, rounded the table and got into the man's personal space.

"Harry, it's OK."

"Tom…"

"Look the way I see it is that you have good taste and I have good
taste.  There's nothing wrong in appreciating the same things, OK?"

"OK, can we go back to work now?"

He tried to look the man in the eye but the ensign refused and
skirted around him to exit the cabin and headed out into the corridor.

"Yeah sure Har, what ever you want."

Not really feeling any better than he had when his lunch break
started, Tom made his way to the holodeck to run some flight sims.

---

Something was wrong.

All last night he listened to the comm channels.  When heard his
beloved's voice he had thought he was talking to him alone but the
other one had been there too.  The message had not been understood.

He didn't want to have to hurt but he was left with no choice.  The
message had to be understood.  There was no other way.

It was his fault and he would fix it.  He didn't want to hurt, he
didn't, he didn't, he didn't but….he had to protect what was his.

I have to protect what is MINE.

---

"Kiss me tall, dark and gorgeous."

He leaned forward taking in the Mona Lisa smile and letting his
fingers grace those killer dimples but stopping before his loneliness
entirely overtook him, he stood back.

"You know, I think I'm falling in love with you."

The pale facsimile of his love continued to stare towards the
viewscreen.

"What?  You're surprised?  Well you and me both."  Tom walked from
the conn back to the command chair where his "commander" was
sitting.

"I did think it would happen but there you are."  He fell to his
knees before the holo character of the first officer knowing he
wasn't real but saying the words anyway.  "I love you Chakotay."

Taking his eyes away from the dull stare, Tom looked around the
deck.  Janeway, Tuvok, Harry and Samantha they were all there waiting
in suspended animation for his command to come to life.  Here he had
control.  Here he could command the characters to do his bidding but
in the world outside these walls someone else controlled his life.
Someone who told him who he could be with and who he could love.
With effort he rose, went to his seat at the conn and stared at the
viewscreen.

"Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on!"

Feeling a little better, he settled in his seat.  He had four
scenarios he wanted to run through before calling it a day and making
it time for Neelix's dinner special.  OK it wasn't something he
didn't usually strive for but it was something that was still up to
him.

 "Computer, engage sim Paris Gamma Two."

"Acknowledged."

The program began to run.  Vidian warships assailed him and he out
maneuvered them.   The Kazon Nistrum was defeated and he prevailed
against the Borg.  As Tom readied himself for the final simulation
his comm badge went off.  Somebody was requesting entrance to the
holodeck.

"Computer freeze program and reveal arch."

The heavy doors of the holodeck replaced the space where the turbo
lift usually inhabited.  Tom turned in his chair to face his
interruption.

"Forgive me Lieutenant but I was instructed to bring this to your
immediate attention."

Vorik walked down the slope around the command chairs to his position
and handed him a PADD.

Not one of his favorite people after the pon farr incident with
B'Elanna, Tom carefully avoided his touch as the Vulcan handed him
the data PADD.

"Thank you Vorik."

"Thanks are unnecessary Lieutenant."

Before Tom had a chance to form a response to the somber crewmember,
he turned and exited the holodeck.  Tom shrugged his shoulders in
dismissal as he turned his attention to the PADD in his hand.

When he pressed the play button on its panel the small screen went an
almost luminescent black.  Looking at the sparkling screen he was
surprised to hear his own voice being emitted from the slim device in
his hand.

"Computer engage sim Paris Gamma Five."

The lights dimmed and took on a crimson hue as the bridge went into
red alert.   The computer began to talk.

"Self destruct in 10 seconds, 9, 8, 7….."

Tom threw the PADD to the ground and spun in his seat.  For a moment
he tried to assess the main computer on his comm panel before reality
hit him.  He sat straight in his chair.

"Computer end simulation."

"Self destruct in 5 seconds, 4, 3….."

"Computer end simulation!"

White light and bright blue sparks blinded him as he fell to the
deck.   As numbness evaded his body and a searing he felt from the
base of his spine to the nape of his caused him to convulse, his eyes
locked on the forward viewscreen.

The stars were moving.  In his blaze of pain he wasn't sure at first
until they begun to coalesce into form.  Before he lost consciousness
they developed into characters and one word was burnt into his brain,

M - I - N - E

---

"Mr Paris will you please lie back down!"

"Yeah in a minute Doc."  Tom swung his legs over the side of the bio-
bed.  The captain and Tuvok had just entered Sickbay.  "Tuvok!"

The captain approached first and relief flooded her eyes.  Tuvok kept
a respectful distance behind her.  Her voice was tight as she turned
to the EMH.  "You said he was dead."

"Correction Captain what I said was that Mr Paris had died."  The
captain's lips pursed and her eyebrows rose.  She wasn't getting the
difference.  The EMH tried to explain.  "He went into ventricular
fibrillation and his heart stopped, so in effect he died.  If hadn't
been for Mr Tuvok's monitoring and Lieutenant Torres' spectacular
skill with the transporter, I might not have had the time to
resuscitate him."

Kathryn gripped the Doc's arm.  "A word of advice Doctor.  Next time
start with the part about him being alive, got it."  She squeezed a
little harder in emphasis not caring that the EMH didn't experience
pain.

"Ah, got it Captain."  He humbly stepped back and disengaged his
bicep from the captain's grasp before running his medical tri-corder
over the lieutenant again.  "Besides a mild enzyme imbalance Mr Paris
will be fine.  I would however like him to remain in Sickbay a few
hours."

"Yeah Doc, whatever."  Tom sat impatiently waiting for him to finish
before addressing Tuvok again.

"Tuvok, it was a data PADD.  It must still be on the holodeck."

"What data PADD Mr Paris?"

"I was almost done running my sims when Vorik came in and gave it to
me and when I activated it, that's when all hell broke loose."

The security officer went over to one of his men standing at the
door, spoke briefly to him and returned to Tom as the man left
Sickbay.

"It would seem that the data PADD must have been the trigger that
caused the explosion and disengaged the holodeck safeties."  Tuvok
paused.  "Unlike the construction of the personal transporter, this
clearly indicates we are dealing with someone with exceptional
technical abilities."

"So that should eliminate alot of the 47 people who were on the
Observation deck, right?"

As Tuvok agreed and bent his head to his own data PADD the doors to
Sickbay swished opened.  Commander Chakotay stood frozen at the
entrance his eyes fixed on the lieutenant. He blinked twice before
rushing across the room and pulling him off the bio-bed and into his
arms.  Tom fell into the embrace, burrowing his head in the
commander's shoulder.

"They said you were dead."

Tom brought his head up and kissed the commander full on the lips
before replying, a smirk graced his face.

"I got better."

Chakotay tried to still his beating heart with few deep breaths as
his hands came up to frame the face of the man who was quickly
becoming his whole world.

"I can see that Poocuh."  He smiled in return and his dimples
blossomed.

With one last soft kiss to the lieutenant's upturned lips he turned
to the security chief.  He slipped his arm around Tom's waist,
keeping a tight hold on him as he spoke.  His voice was hard.

"Tuvok, I want to know who did this, and I want to know now."

Tuvok perceived the commander's anger, and although he did not feel
it, he understood it.  He too would demand answers if one of his
family members were similarly threatened.

"I have commander compiled a short list of possible suspects who
excel in the technical field and with his permission would like Mr
Paris' reaction to them."

Tom shifted, tucking his shoulder under Chakotay's.  "OK, shoot."

"Crewman Mortimer Harren."

"Well I've talked "at" him once or twice but he doesn't really pay me
too much attention."

"Vorik."

"Now that's one guy that gives me the willies.  I think he likes to
watch me."

"Explain."

"Well when ever I see him, whether it's in the messhall or on the
holodeck he's already looking at me.  And when I look away sometimes
I can almost feel his eyes on me, still watching."

"Fascinating." Tuvok made a note on his PADD.  "Ensign Tabor."

"Tabor?"

"Yes his creation of Xenobiologist Crell Moset demonstrated that he
has both extensive holo skills and a deep unresolved anger."

"Hell Tuvok you would too if you were asked to create the Cardassian
that killed your grandfather."  Tom shook his head.  "No, no I don't
think it's him."

"Very well."  He made another notation.  "Crewman Kenneth Dalby."

The lieutenant made a whistling sound.  "Now there's one guy that
really has a hard on for me."  One of Tuvok's elegant eyebrows
rose.  "But I'm pretty sure he'd rather just pound his fists into me
rather than anything else."  He looked Tuvok straight in the
eye.  "You know what I mean?"

"Yes Lieutenant I believe I do."

Chakotay looked over at the captain who shrugged her shoulders and
shook her head.  It seemed that this was the first time she'd heard
about Dalby's animosity towards Tom too.  His hand went to Tom's chin.

"Has he hurt you before?"

Tom almost melted from the concern in the big guy's eyes.  He took
the hand from his chin and placed a gentle kiss in its palm.

"Yeah Chak but that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away."
The commander wasn't mollified.  "Look, I know the guy hates me but
really he hasn't laid a finger on me in a very long time. So forget
about it OK?"

He wouldn't but now wasn't the time for settling scores, he'd make
time for that bastard later.  He let his features harden again as he
turned back to Tuvok.

"Who else?"

"Ensign Baytart."

"Pablo?  Naw Tuvok the guy wants my job, not my body.  Next."

"Icheb."

"Oh come on, he's just a kid and besides were buds.  I help him out
with astrometrics when Seven's busy that's all."

"I might remind you Mr Paris that Icheb is an adolescent not a child
and he would be experiencing the pangs of puberty at this stage in
his development.  Combine that with his giving of his cortical
implant to Seven, his behavior could become erratic."

"Yeah maybe but I don't think so.  He's a good kid Tuvok."

"Very well."  The security officer came to last name on his list.  It
was a name that because of sentiment he had almost left off but his
training had convinced him otherwise.  This man had both the
opportunity and the skill to execute a sophisticated holo program
such as the lieutenant had experienced.  He braced himself for Tom's
outrage.

"Ensign Kim."

"Harry?"  Chorused the three officers in Sickbay.  The lieutenant
began to laugh, drawing stares from the other two and Tuvok as well.

"No way Tuvok, not Harry."  Tom took in the faces around him.  The
captain was appalled, Chak was sympathetic and Tuvok, well Tuvok was
Tuvok, all impassive and Vulcan like.

"No really it couldn't be Harry."  The faces didn't change so he
tried to explain.  "Look I know he's smart enough and he does like
me, hell he's my best friend but he doesn't like me in that way."

Tuvok found his voice first.  "You cannot be certain of the nature of
the ensign's feelings towards you."

"Yeah Tuvok I can."  Not wanting to betray a confidence but seeing no
other way he went on.  "You see he's kinda in lust with someone else."

"Who?"  This time it was the commander who spoke.

"You big guy."

"Me?"  Tom sidled up closer to his stunned lover.

"Yeah he sorta told me the other day.  He doesn't want to admit it
and I don't think he plans to do anything about it, but there it
is."  He ran a finger down the front of the commander's uniform.
Chakotay reached out and stopped it as it reached his waistline.

"You're sure Poocuh?"

Tom licked his tattoo. "Yeah baby you're making them pant all the way
from Ops to Conn."

The captain broke out the daze caused by watching her chief pilot
seducing her first officer right in front of her. "I think that's
just a little too much information for me, thank you Lieutenant."
She dragged her concentration back to Tuvok and the matter at
hand.  "What's next?  Mind melds?"

"No Captain.  That would be a little too invasive right now.  The
evidence against these men is purely speculative."

"Very well continue with your investigation as you see fit and keep
me informed."  She turned back to the two men who were still glued at
the hip making a quite an erotic spectacle of themselves.  "Chakotay
make sure Tom gets back to his quarters safely and then meet me in my
ready room."

As Chakotay unsuccessfully grabbed at a pale hand that slipped under
his jacket he replied, "Yes Captain I'll be there in ten."

Trying to keep her gaze at eye level and not at the growing bulge in
Tom's trousers, Kathryn waved a hand out to the commander.  "Make it
thirty."  The response however when it came, came from the lieutenant.

"Yes Ma'am!"

---

"Faster!"

Not really needing to be told but enjoying the entreaty anyway,
Chakotay accelerated the pistoning of his hips.   Watching his cock
slipping in and out of the tight hole of Tom's ass was already
causing him to drive towards a quick completion as it was.

"Oh fuck Chak, faster…faster…"

Tom was close which was good because he didn't think he could hold
out much longer himself.  He reached around and grasped his lover's
cock and timed his thrusts in unison with his stroking of the weeping
member.

"Oh gods that's good, baby.  So good, so good...."

As Chakotay's orgasm began, he pumped all his fear, worry and love
into the man before him.  Tom's cries became intelligible as he
roared his release and it wasn't long before the commander felt the
warmth of semen in his hand.  Chak fell forward on his lover's back
fighting the blackness that ringed his consciousness.

Tom straightened his knees and brought the commander down to lay
beside him.  He nestled back relishing the feel of the big body
behind him and waited for Chakotay to wake.   As he began to float
into oblivion himself, soft kisses at his nape signaled his lover's
return to consciousness.

"Oh spirits, I love you Poocuh."

"I love you too baby." Tom turned to lie on his back.  He brushed
Chakotay's mouth with his fingertips.  "Chak, why did you wait so
long?"

The commander's mouth quirked in amusement.  "I went as fast as I
could Poocuh.  I promise."

"No, I mean why did you wait so long to love me?"

Chakotay took Tom's hand from his face and brought it to his chest as
the vulnerability in the man's voice touched his soul.  How did he
answer a question that even he didn't know the answer to?

He remembered seeing the brash young man again on Voyager's bridge
all those years ago.   Back then all he had wanted to do was throttle
him but when that passion had changed from infuriation to
infatuation, he didn't quite know.

Was it a year or was it two?  It just seemed one day he woke up and
started noticing the way Tom smiled or laughed.  It was then he knew
he was falling in love and as he saw the pilot use those same charms
to cope or to help others to do so in times of desperation or strife,
he fell deeper.  So no he hadn't waited very long to love Tom; he had
just waited a long time to tell him that he had.

"Actually baby I don't think I waited very long at all."

"Where I come from Chak, six years, two months and 23 days is along
time."

"Oh believe me baby I was head over heels long before that.  You had
me years ago you know."

"Really?"

"Yes really but it wasn't until that night in Sandrine's playing pool
that I felt brave enough to do anything about it though."

Tom lay back, closed his eyes and considered Chakotay's words.  He
had been terrified that it was the recent situation that had caused
the man to be so kind to him.   He'd read about people who came
closer together when they shared a traumatic experience.  He'd also
read those feelings tended to dissipate after the crisis had passed
but maybe that wouldn't happen here. If Chak loved him before this
fiasco had started it was possible that he would love him when it was
over.  Tom letting his fatalism seep through his reasoning thought
yeah, if he was still alive when it was finally over that is.

"What about you Poocuh?  Do you know when did it happened for you?"

Tom laughed softly, hugged Chakotay to him and touched his forehead
to his.  When his blue eyes were staring deep into those ebony ones
he answered.

"Yes."

"When?"

"When you said hello."

---

He sat on the lounge in his darkened quarters rocking the instrument
of his first message to his chest, his fingers trailing over the
crusted blood was still evident on its bore.  He was hardly aware as
he brought his hand to his mouth smearing the residue over his teeth
and gums.

He couldn't use the computers anymore.  They would be watching for
that now but it didn't matter.  He didn't need the comm system
anymore to know they would be together.  They would be.  He had
failed but he would not fail alone.

If he could not have his love, it was still possible to take it from
the other.  He stood up wiping his hand across his chest, marring the
gold of his uniform.  It was time for a sacrifice.  He knew what he
had to do.

This would be the end.  And in the end, he stood letting the clarinet
fall to the floor, he still would be,

M - I - N - E

---

"Good Morning Chakotay."

Chakotay seated himself across from the captain on the lounge in her
ready room.  Kathryn poured him a cup of tea from the pot on the low
table and gave him a weary smile.  She looked as about tired as he
felt.  Last night they had discussed theories and motives late into
the night, without coming to any definite conclusions.  However
Chakotay suspected that after he had left to go home to Tom, she had
stayed in her ready room reading psyche journals and case studies
into the early morning hours.  And although his heart was warmed
knowing she took Tom's attack as a personal blow and wouldn't rest
until it was resolved one way or another; he wouldn't let it destroy
her.

He took the offered cup and made a show of taking in her
appearance.  "Hell Kathryn you look like shit."

She folded her knees under her and gave him an incredulous look.

"Oooh I bet you say that to all the girls."  She picked up the data
PADD next to the teapot.

"Did you even sleep?"

"Some."  She waved off any further questions.  "I've been reading an
article on social isolation."

"Why?"

She punched up an essay on the small screen before handing it over to
the commander.

"Because it's Voyager in a nutshell.  We're cut off from everything
and anything we've ever known.  We're alone here in the Delta
quadrant."  She leaned over and pointed to a paragraph.  "See there
it says that some individuals can develop an altered state of
wellness.  They have increased anxiety, inability to engage in
satisfying personal relationships and then there's the last part."
Chakotay's eyes skipped to the place in the script where her finger
was and read aloud.

"Delusional thinking."

Her voice was a whisper. "Yes."  She sat back, brought her knees up
and hugged them to her chest.  "Why didn't we see this Chakotay?"
Her eyes misted, something that would have not have usually happened
if she'd been rested and not so distraught.  "We should have known.
It was only a matter of time before something like this happened."
She looked out the viewport.  "My god Chakotay I should have known."

He put the PADD and his cup on the table and for the first time
since "New Earth" he pulled her into his arms.

"No Kathryn you couldn't have.  None us of could have."  He stroked
her hair and talked softly into her ear.  "Aberrations happen despite
our best efforts.  There wasn't anything you could have done to
prevent this.  There is no one to blame here."

She straightened in his arms and looked him full in the face.  The
commander was a noble and compassionate man and she cursed whatever
gods there were that the sparks of passion had never flared between
them.   Everything would have been so different, but then again if it
had; she would never be sitting here in his arms cursing them in the
first place.  The irony of the situation sobered her and she returned
to her corner of the lounge.

"So what do we have then?"  With pinched fingers she wiped the traces
of tears from the corners of her eyes.  "Cliché messages, a dead rose
and holodeck programs from hell."

"A black rose."

"What?"

"It wasn't a dead flower, it was a black one."  Chakotay felt
something niggle at the back of his brain.  "Tuvok was looking for
the significance of a dead rose in Terran customs not a black one."

Despite her earlier relapse, Janeway's mind quickly fell in step with
his.

"Computer what's the Terran definition of giving black flowers?"

The answer when it came was it was not reassuring. "Death."

Not discouraged Kathryn sat up squared her shoulders, reclaiming the
demeanor that was usually hers as captain and rephrased her question.

"Computer of the races aboard Voyager how many hold a cultural
reference pertaining to black flowers?"

"Three."

"What are those cultures?"

In an impersonal voice the computer answered.

"The Terran homeworld of Earth, the Andorians of the Epsilon Indii
system and Dorvan V on the Cardassian frontier."

Hearing the name of his home planet, Chakotay bolted forward on his
seat.

"What is the significance on Dorvan V?"

"Trust."

He mouthed the word silently.  He remembered the black fields outside
his settlement.  They were poppies not roses but their fragrance had
been equally sweet.  After settling on the planet 25 years ago the
new residents had seen the flowers that had blanketed their new home
as a sign of the Federation's promise to them.  A sign of respect, of
reverence and of trust.  Images of his father, of his home and of
ultimately of the fight that had lead him here to this point flooded
his brain.   Kathryn broke through his meandering with a single word.

"You."

"What?"

She shifted closer to him on the lounge.  "Don't you get it?  It's
not Tom he wants but you."

Yes that was the part that finally fit.  Everything began to jell
together.  Tom was hurt because Tom didn't matter.  He was the one
that was supposed to see, that was supposed to understand.  Chakotay
feeling the urge to do something but not sure what, leapt from his
seat on the lounge as Kathryn took command.

"Computer location of Harry Kim."

"Ensign Kim is in his quarters."

She looked to the commander.  If it been a regular day, a regular
duty shift she'd know where Tom was.  He saw the unspoken question
before she voiced it.

"He's doing the maintenance run on the Delta Flyer."    He spoke to
the air in front of him.  "B'Elanna checked it out twice before I let
him go.  He's out there alone."

The captain nodded.  Alone was good.  She addressed herself to the
comm system.

"Janeway to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"Send a security team to Ensign Kim's quarters and meet me there."

"Acknowledged.  Tuvok out."

---

"Shit, Harry!"

Tom turned in his seat in the Flyer's cockpit and addressed his best
friend.

"Give a guy a little warning when you sneak up like that."

The ensign took his place at Ops and looked dead pan at the less than
pleased lieutenant.

"I wasn't sneaking."

Tom waved him away and gave the all clear to docking control as he
maneuvered the Delta Flyer out of the bay.   He had been really
looking forward to this maintenance run as a way to get a hold on his
feelings for Chakotay, which were by the way running out of control
like a M5 computer, but leave it to Tuvok to find a subtle way of
baby-sitting him.   Tom smiled.  He should have known that Tuvok, a
Vulcan who could lie his way into the Maquis without ever doing what
he considered technically lying, would find a way to keep an eye on
him even after the lieutenant had dismissed his security team.  He
directed the Flyer into a parallel flight path with Voyager before
turning to his unexpected co-pilot.

"So what did he promise you?"   Even thought the Flyer was following
its pre-laid flight plan, Tom made a few minor manual adjustments on
the "retro" controls.  "Extra replicator credits for making sure I
don't get into trouble?"

"Who?"

"Tuvok."  When he was done manipulating the trajectory to his
satisfaction, he turned to his friend.  "It's OK Har, I'm not mad."

"I'm not here for Tuvok."

Oh, Tom thought.  It was Chakotay then who was making sure he got
home in time for lunch.

"It's because of Chak then, right?'

"Yes."

Harry got up from his chair at Ops and moved down the slope to the
forward Comm station.  He came so close to Tom, invading his private
space that the lieutenant could feel his breath on his face.  As he
discerned that that the ensign probably had too much garlic in his
last meal he felt a burning pain in his side.  His hand by reflex
flew to the pain and when he felt the warm wetness there, he looked
down to see the protruding of a simple dinner knife in his side and a
watery redness on his fingertips.

"I'm sorry Tom."

The lieutenant watched as Harry collapsed on the slope and brought
his knees to his chest.  The ensign's hand ran over his face,
smearing a dark substance over his cheeks and mouth.  Tom wondered
for a moment why Harry's face looked almost altered before he
realized why, it was the blood, his blood that made it appear that
the contour's of the ensign's face had changed.

"Harry?"

"Yes Tom."

The pilot watched as the hilt of the knife moved with each intake of
his breath and thought abstractly why doesn't Harry see this?  Why
doesn't he stop the pain and help me.

"I'm think I'm hurt."

"Yes you are."

The calmness in his friend's voice scared him.  It was then that
things began to connect in his mind.  No, not Harry, it couldn't be
Harry.

"Why?"

Harry's gaze never faltered, he looked straight head into the
incoming starfield on the Flyer's viewport.  The eyes were blank and
his mouth moved in semblance of an automaton.

"I didn't want to."

Tom racked his brain for things to say but what to you say to your
best friend after his stabs you because he covets your lover.

"Fine."  As flash of blackness assailed him he slipped from his chair
to falling to the floor leaning against the seat of the comm chair.
He sucked his breath between his teeth.  "So tell me," He tried to
get his legs in more comfortable position. "Are you pissed because
I'm fucking Chakotay or because Chakotay's fucking me?"

"He doesn't love you."

Beep wrong answer.  Any leverage he had in this situation just went
out the window because for once he was on the wrong side of the
fence.  He was the rival not the prey.  So now what did he do, back
off?

"I know Harry."

Harry's fist went to his mouth.  His knuckles spread blood across the
grim straight lined expression of his mouth.  When he spoke it spread
along his teeth giving them a pink hue in the dim lights of the Flyer.

"He touches you."

"Yes."

"How?"

How?  Tom not knowing whether lying or telling the truth would make
Harry any more unstable, went with the easiest route, the truth
because frankly it was a little difficult to come with convincing
lies with a butter knife in your gut.  He brought his tone down a
level.

"He touches me with care, with love."

"I said he doesn't love you."

"Right.  I just mean its soft and gentle."

"Tell me what he does Tom."

"Well he kisses me."

"And?"

"He touches me."  Before he got another "and" Tom continued. "It
feels good."

"Does he, does he…."

Oh god he must be getting delirious because he could almost imagine
they were sitting in the messhall having this conversation.

"Yes Harry he takes me."

Tom heard a sigh escape the ensign's lips and when he looked over at
him, causing another stab of pain, there were tears in his eyes.

"He does love you then."

"Maybe."

Shit Tom thought, he was starting to see flashing stars in the
blackness now too and he wasn't looking out the viewport like Harry.
As the pain receded a bit and his vision cleared he realized the
blinking light wasn't in his head but was coming from his cockpit
console.  Voyager was trying to contact them but the audio had been
turned off.  Tom tried to lift his arm to respond to the hail but
found the limb was no longer answering the impulses from his brain.
He was going to have to get Harry do it.

"Har, Voyager's hailing us."

"Are they?"

"Yeah, you think you could answer them?"

"Not yet."

"Harry I need help."  He peered at the man and tried unsuccessfully
to catch his eye. "I think we both need help."

"That's not what I need."  Slowly the ensign's head turned to the
lieutenant.  "You took what I need and now I'm taking it from you."

Tom recoiled from the hate in those eyes and knew appealing to the
man's sense of logic wasn't going to work.  Harry was too far gone in
his dream world where Chakotay belonged solely to him.  So seeing no
other choice, Tom left his and entered that world before he bled to
death and existed in neither.

"Harry I told him how you feel.  He knows now."

That got his attention.  Harry grabbed the lieutenant by the biceps,
eliciting a yelp from the bleeding man.

"He does?"

"Yes and if he wants you, I'll be a man about it and let him go."

"Why would you do that?"

"Cause you're my friend Harry and I'd do anything for you."

"You just want me to answer the hail."

"Yeah, I want that too."  Tom tried to put all the sincerity he had
into the only part of him that still worked, his eyes.  "Please Harry
be my friend.  I promise I'll let Chak go.  Please."

The ensign rose and walked back to the Ops station.

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"OK."

Harry's assent was the last thing Tom heard before he passed out.

---

"Captain their shields are down."

Kathryn leapt from her chair and twirled to face her security chief.

"Beam them to Sickbay Tuvok now!"

---

"He hit me with his clarinet?"

"Yes they found it beside his comm badge in his quarters.  It still
had your blood on it."

As Tom shuddered and brought the covers up under his chin, Chakotay
hugged him closer.  The Doc after healing the pilot's wound and
transfusing him with blood had begrudgingly allowed him to finish
recuperating in Chakotay's quarters.  The commander had just returned
from a briefing with the captain and was now lying beside Tom on top
of the covers on his bed.

"Where's he now?"

"In Sickbay sleeping.  The Doc performed surgery to repair his flawed
neural circuits so there should be no reoccurrence of his
schizophrenia."

"His what?"

"Schizophrenia.  It's a rare psychotic disorder that develops in the
brain at the fetal stage.  It's usually detected at birth but in
Harry's case it was latent and didn't appear before now."

"He's OK then?"

Chakotay kissed the top of his golden head.  "Yeah with a little
therapy he'll be fine at back at his post in no time."

"Good.  Are you coming to bed?"

"Soon Poocuh.  I have a few reports that need tending first.  Why
don't you get some sleep, I won't be long."

"I'm not tired."  His hand appeared out from under the covers to play
with the fastenings of the commander's trousers.  "And I need tending
too."  Within seconds the talented fingers had opened the front and
were toying with his hardening erection.

Chakotay moaned.  It felt so good to have his love here in his bed
touching him.  It was hard to believe that it was only a few hours
ago that he thought he'd never be able to feel this joy again.
Letting Tom play, he stripped off his jacket and undershirt.

"What about your reports?"

Chakotay kicked off his shoes and removed the rest of his clothing
before turning to the wanton beside him.

"Fuck the reports!"

"Well I would rather you fucked me but…" He stopped when Chakotay
tore the blankets from the bed revealing his nude body.

Gentle hands coursed down his body almost reverently.  The commander
leaned forward and kissed the place where the knife had gone in under
his ribs.  He eyes came up to Tom's and his mouth opened.

"Don't you dare even ask Chak.  I'm fine just along as you keep on
doing what you're doing, OK?"

"OK Poocuh."  Tom felt the commander's breath on his belly as he
spoke.  A tongue trailed down further dipping into his navel flicking
it a few times before moving on.  Chak had never gone down on him
before and he trembled in anticipation.

Feeling those full lips, so ripe for fucking, encase the head of his
penis, caused his to hips involuntarily buck up off the mattress.
Broad palms steadied him as he was sucked deeper into the bliss that
was his lover's mouth until his hilt was reach and he could go no
further.  Chakotay swallowed and hummed sending bolts of pure
pleasure up his spine.

"Oh my god Chakotay!"  Then the commander began to bob his
head.  "Oh - my - fucking - goddddd!"

Four, three, two one, blast off!  As Tom came explosively, Chakotay
brought his lips up to his and with his hand pumped him into
oblivion.  The commander spread his issue over his own penis and down
into the crack of his ass.  Tom spread his legs in preparation.

"Now Lieutenant are you ready to be fucked?"

"Aye, aye Commander.  Engage!"

Chakotay slipped a pillow under his hips before levering up on his
hands.  Tom reached down and guided the slick cock into his ass.
When it popped his puckered ring he lay back and clutched the
sheets.  The commander moved forward wasting no time in engulfing his
shaft in his silken tunnel.  Tom watched his thrusting thinking he
had never seen anything so beautiful, so erotic as the man he loved
taking pleasure in his body.

"Oh Tom, oh…."

With enough force to make his teeth rattle Chakotay pushed forward
one last time before climaxing and roaring aloud in abandon.   Tom
carefully guided the sweating body above him down to lay at his side
as the commander blacked out.

He loved this part.  This waiting and watching over his beloved until
he was himself again.  It gave him a felling of self-empowerment to
have this chance to protect his protector.  It didn't matter that
there was no real danger, it just felt good to be the one in control
for a change.  Tom felt limbs tightening around his torso.

"Gods Poocuh do you know how much I love you?"

"Yeah baby I do."

"And you?  Do you love me?"

Tom carded his fingers through the short dark hair liking the way it
spiked up all sexy like.  He gazed in the ebony orbs of the man that
was his everything.

"I love you Chakotay."  Kissed the full dark lips. "And I promise you
that I will be forever and always,

Y - O - U - R - S."

---

The End