The BLTS Archive - Founding Aurora Third in the Aurora series by Julie Evans (Juli17@aol.com) --- Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek, its concept and its characters. I am just borrowing them briefly, for fun not profit. The planet Aurora and everything else on it are mine. Notes: This story can be archived anywhere, but please keep my name and the disclaimer attached. Feedback is always appreciated. For those interested in placing the events in this story in time with the events in the TV series, the following applies. The Aurora alternate timeline broke off from that of the TV series just after the events in Future's End. The events in Down the Rabbit Hole/Into the Looking Glass took place approximately at the time the events in the Gift concluded. And events in Conceiving Aurora take place in time around the end of the fourth season (which at this writing we haven't seen yet). If you have not yet read Down the Rabbit Hole and Into the Looking Glass you might want to do so before reading this story. --- Prologue: Years Earlier --- He was too early. Years too early. It was not completely unexpected, since the temporal displacement technology he was using was prone to unpredictable outcomes. Invented nearly a thousand years in the future, and still it was not entirely reliable. But then Time itself was not a "thing" to be easily grasped. Its very fluidity made it nearly impossible to pin down exact moments, or exact places, in the timestream. Well, at least this was the right place. He would simply have to wait. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't try again. He was fading now, too old and too tired to go through the preparations again. And his ship couldn't withstand the strain of another temporal displacement wave. He leaned against the solid wall of rock behind him and blinked at the shimmering glow playing along the damaged cloakfield of his small cone shaped ship. The ship's edges flickered, then the ship disappeared. He aimed the small device in his palm at the seemingly empty air several meters away from him and activated it. A quick, barely perceptible flash told him his objective was achieved. His little ship was now truly gone, and it was better that way, since it didn't belong here. He leaned back against the hard rock. He could feel his physical existence quickly ebbing. Enough so that he didn't even need to mentally suppress the discomfort caused by his surroundings. The deep cold that was seeping into his body, the wind that was flapping the folds of his simple garments into stinging whips against his skin might not have been there. No need to even seek shelter deeper in the rocks. As his mind slowly faded into a senseless slumber, he felt a pang of regret that he wouldn't be able to observe the actual beginning. But it was no real matter whether he observed it himself, or learned it from her thoughts and dreams. He would still meet her, talk to her. If not face to face- and certainly that would not be- then mind to mind. For that, he would wait. His body would deteriorate to nothingness, but his essence- that which the younger races thought of as soul, or spirit- would remain. And when the time came- when she came- he would be here. He would learn, and he would teach. That had already been determined. He only had to wait. --- The Present --- She was fuming. The disappointment she had felt two nights ago had faded into a general sense of impatience. Now she just wanted to get through the next couple of weeks quickly, and with some measure of calm. The doctor's constant advice, constant orders, and constant checking up on her was not conducive to inner peace. Okay, maybe the concept of inner peace was something of a mystery to her, since her emotions were always so close to the surface and so easily aroused, but she did know that she was even more irritated than usual. "Doctor!" The doctor heard the warning tone in B'Elanna's voice, the tone that said she was about to explode at him if he said one more word. He chose to ignore it, as was his nature when it came to his recalcitrant patients, particularly this patient. "I am your doctor, and as such it is my duty to dispense medical advice whether you request it or not-" "In Sickbay, not at my house!" B'Elanna snapped. "I don't charge extra for house calls," the doctor replied dryly. "And since you find your schedule too hectic to check in with me on a regular basis as I requested-" "If I have a problem or a question, then I'll come to Sickbay. I haven't forgotten your last lecture about rest and relaxation, or anything else about the other night!" The doctor raised an eyebrow and met B'Elanna's frustrated glare. "Is that what this display of temper is all about? False labor is not an uncommon phenomenon. Well..." the doctor paused, then amended. "Not among humans anyway, and you are half human. It is nothing to feel guilty about, nor to be concerned about-" "If it's nothing to be concerned about, then why are you constantly checking up on me?" B'Elanna demanded. "I have no other patients requiring my attention at the moment," the doctor pointed out, sounding smug. "And the three other pregnancies in New Lourdes are far less advanced than yours. Given that you will be needing my services soon, there is no reason that I shouldn't keep a close eye on the situation." "I'm sorry I'm the best you can do to occupy your time, Doctor," B'Elanna said sarcastically. "But I'm wearing the subdermal monitor, and when something happens you'll be the second to know." "Yes I will," the doctor agreed. "In the meantime, you should relax-" "Quit telling me to relax!" The doctor shrugged, not quite willing to give in. "The last couple of weeks are often uncomfortable. You just have to be patient-" "Don't tell me to be patient, either!" The doctor was ever undeterred. He had learned through close association with humans, and Klingons- in fact, most sentient races- that if he repeated his medical advice enough, his patients might actually start following it, if only to shut him up. Hence, the objective was accomplished. "I would suggest that you take warm showers to help relieve your...tension. Sit outside more, since the sunshine and fresh air greatly enhance the natural rhythms of body chemistry." He glanced at the sky, ignoring B'Elanna's growing impatience. "It's cold!" "Then bundle up, and appreciate the fact that one of the bounties of being planetside is fresh air. In fact a positive attitude and a sense of appreciation for your surroundings can only ease the discomfort of your final weeks." "Well...I do appreciate one thing about Aurora, Doctor." The doctor raised an eyebrow at the sudden reasonable tone in B'Elanna's voice. "What is that?" "Hinged doors!" The door slammed with a resounding bang only a millimeter from the doctor's nose. The doctor stared at the door for a moment, then snorted and rolled his eyes. He was used to being underappreciated, but that had never dampened his determination to care for his patients, no matter how uncooperative they might be. He turned and walked down the walkway from the Torres-Paris house, knowing that once that fetal monitor sprang into action, B'Elanna would certainly appreciate his skills. B'Elanna stood on the other side of the door feeling a moment's satisfaction at stopping the doctor's lecture so effectively. Then she turned around and looked at Tom, who had been standing several meters away, leaning nonchalantly against the wall, arms crossed, listening to her exchange with the doctor. She could see from his expression that he was caught between laughter and sympathy, whether for her or for the doctor she wasn't sure. Tom straightened as she approached him. In truth, he thought B'Elanna had overreacted a little to the doctor's occasionally suffocating solicitousness. But the doctor also knew better than to keep baiting an irritable half Klingon. Besides the doctor could certainly hold his own against B'Elanna. Tom did wonder briefly if she had broken his holographic nose, but he immediately suppressed the thought and schooled his expression as she stopped in front of him, frustration still evident in her expression. B'Elanna glared at Tom and he threw up his arms in mock capitulation. She saw the small smile that played at his mouth, but she also saw the flash of ill concealed concern in his eyes. She sighed and leaned against him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. Tom's smile widened and closed his arms around B'Elanna, which was exactly where he liked them. He hugged her, then raised a hand to stroke her hair. "Okay, that wasn't nice," B'Elanna admitted, mumbling into Tom's shoulder. Her arms slid around his waist. Tom chuckled lightly. "Um, no, probably not." His hand drifted from her hair down to her swollen belly and rested there. "But I think the doctor is a bit of a masochist anyway. He loves nothing more than to incite a verbal sparring match." The baby moved against his hand, as it had so many times in the past few months. Tom's heart never ceased to jump in response to that movement, that sign that their baby was alive and growing. B'Elanna felt the baby move too, and she put a hand over Tom's as the baby kicked again. Like Tom, she was awed by the life growing inside her. She'd lain awake at night, with Tom's arms wrapped around her belly, and hers draped over his, feeling the baby move inside her, and had been amazed that the sensation affected her so strongly. Maybe she could love this baby- simply love him or her- with no expectations. Maybe it was that simple, not the struggle it had seemed for her own mother. She sighed and raised her head to look at Tom. "I'm ready now." Tom smiled gently and brushed a strand of hair off B'Elanna's face. He leaned down and kissed her, his mouth lingering on hers for a moment. Then he brushed his fingers across her parted lips. "It won't be long." He knew that in these final weeks she'd become both uncomfortable and tired, even if she wouldn't admit it. But it wasn't the physical discomforts that were weighing on her. It was the doubts she was harboring, about whether she could be a good mother, whether she could give their child enough love. Tom had no doubts whatsoever, but he knew saying so wasn't enough. He couldn't help sometimes cursing B'Elanna's mother, Klingon or not, for treating B'Elanna as little more than a burdensome responsibility. If the woman had loved her daughter at all, she obviously hadn't shown it. Or said it. "Just another couple of weeks," Tom said soothingly. B'Elanna nodded. She'd been so sure she was about to have the baby two nights ago when the contractions had started unexpectedly. But it had turned out to be a false alarm- false labor, as the doctor had said. Her womb warming up for the real thing. She'd steeled herself to face the ordeal, to bring this baby into the world, this baby who would depend on her and Tom for everything. This baby they would mold into a person, for better or worse. The rational part of her, the part Tom tried to convince her was right, told her it would be fine. That she would do fine. But the tiny doubting part of her she wished she could ignore- that said she had no idea what she was doing- that scared her. Tom pulled her close again and he pressed his hands down along her spine and began to knead her lower back. B'Elanna groaned and pressed closer to him. Her back had begun aching in the last few weeks, and Tom's hands miraculously made the ache disappear. "I think we still have some of that oil left," Tom whispered suggestively in her ear. "We can skip the meeting and I can massage your back- and other places." B'Elanna smiled. "Tom, you don't know how tempted I am," she murmured, as he continued to rub her back. Gods, his hands felt good. "But, aah, we're expected at the meeting. Whatever Joe has to say, it must be important." Tom sighed dramatically. "We could be a little late," he suggested. "We already are a little late," B'Elanna pointed out. "And I think it would be noticeable if I waddle in after the meeting is in progress." Tom chuckled. "You don't waddle, B'Elanna. And your body is beautiful." B'Elanna knew he meant it. He'd said it enough times, but she still felt...clumsy, especially at this point. But Tom was entranced by her pregnancy, so much so that she'd even teasingly asked him if he would still love her when her belly was flat again. She pulled away and Tom's hands dropped from her back. "We have to go," she whispered, kissing him lightly on the lips. "I love you." "I love you, too," Tom said softly. He would have kissed her back a lot more, and found a way to really convince her to miss this meeting, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door before he had the chance. Oh well, there would be another opportunity. In this dream life he'd come to believe he was living, there always was. --- "Ryanamite?" Kathryn Janeway's tone sounded both skeptical and hopeful. "Are you sure?" Joe Carey looked at the PADD in his hand and back at Kathryn. "As sure as we can be until we do an onsite survey and confirm." "Hmmm." Kathryn sat at a table in the Mess hall with Chakotay, Tuvok and Joe. She glanced at all of them and knew they were thinking the same thing she was. Ryanamite was rare, rarer even than dilithium. And it was almost as useful, if proper precautions were taken to deal with its more volatile properties. So far they'd managed reasonably well on Aurora with their limited energy sources, but it had been just enough to meet their needs, especially for energy intensive items like the replicator, the force fields and the like. A strong vein of ryanamite could actually mean the unimaginable- an energy surplus. Joe put her thoughts into words. "This could mean we can build additional replicators, strengthen the force fields to protect us better against the storms, and we might even be able to bring the shuttle transporters on line, at least for short range emergencies. Or better yet build one right here-" "We should not plan ahead of ourselves, Mr. Carey," Tuvok said dispassionately. "It would be advisable to verify the existence of the ryanamite, and the exact amount available for extraction before planning your future engineering feats. Given that the first survey did not indicate the existence of ryanamite-" "As I said before, Tuvok," Joe interrupted, his enthusiasm unaffected, "the first surveys were quick flyover scans, so it's not surprising the ryanamite wasn't detected then. The satellite surveys are much more intensive, and the vein is very deep." "We have to get an onsite survey out there," Chakotay said. "Winter is setting in, and those mountains are very near the south arctic region, so the sooner the better." "Agreed," Kathryn said. "We'll have plenty of time to consider the ramifications once the data is verified." "All winter most likely," Tuvok pointed out. "It is unlikely we will be able to extract the ryanamite until spring, when weather conditions are more amenable." "My, my, everyone at this table is looking very intense this morning!" Kathryn looked up to find Neelix standing at her shoulder, grinning and holding a coffee pot. "More coffee, everyone?" Neelix addressed the table, but he looked at Kathryn. Chakotay smiled as Kathryn held out her cup. They'd had some challenges with the first crops, between the unfamiliar weather patterns, and the fact that some of their own seeds hadn't adapted well to Aurora's soil. But they'd experimented with Aurora's own flora, and used their seeds to create hybrids. The coffee-like plant Chell had managed to bioengineer with the assistance of the computer was one of the successes. Kathryn intercepted Chakotay's smile and grinned back as Neelix refilled her cup, and made his way around the table. Enjoying a decent cup of coffee was one of the pleasures on Aurora, one of the few that sometimes alleviated the bitterness she still felt at being stranded here. Kathryn's eye caught a movement as she sipped her coffee and she looked up to see Tom and B'Elanna entering the Mess hall. She watched them approach, Tom's arm draped over B'Elanna's shoulder, and B'Elanna's hand resting lightly on her swelled stomach. They were one more of the pleasures she'd grudgingly begun to appreciate about Aurora. It always made her heart glad to see them together, so surprisingly right for each other. Chakotay watched them approach also, thinking much the same thing. It still amazed him sometimes that this was the same man he'd out and out despised when they'd first ended up on Voyager, dumped together in the Delta quadrant. Now he couldn't think of another man he'd ever known, in the Alpha or the Delta quadrant, who would be better to- or for- B'Elanna than Tom Paris. "Good morning Tom, B'Elanna," Neelix chirped. He filled their empty coffee cups as they sat down. "You missed the main breakfast serving, but I can whip up something for you in a jiffy." "Thanks, Neelix, but we ate already," Tom said. That had been the doctor's first inquiry when he'd shown up on their doorstep this morning, B'Elanna's breakfast habits. B'Elanna didn't bother to add anything. She'd made supreme efforts to eat early in the morning, which was pretty much against her natural instincts. She'd eaten both fruit and muffins this morning, before the doctor had even shown up to lecture her. She looked at Joe's animated expression and asked instead, "What's up?" Joe grinned. "We've found evidence of what appears to be a deep vein of ryanamite in the Southern Panarctic mountains." B'Elanna reacted as Joe would have expected. Her face lit up. "Are you sure?" she asked eagerly. She didn't exactly make a grab for Joe's PADD, but Joe met her avaricious look with a bigger grin and pushed the PADD across the table to her. "It looks pretty positive, but we'll have to send out an on site survey team to confirm." B'Elanna looked raptly at the information on the PADD and nodded slowly, her eyes glittering. Tom looked over her shoulder with almost equal interest. He knew as well as everyone present what the find could mean. "We should send out a team right now," Chakotay said. "Those mountains will be subject to severe winter storms soon and will be just about impassable." B'Elanna's animated expression shuttered just a little, and Chakotay understood. He already had a plan for that, and it was his own preference anyway. "I'd like to handle the survey myself. I haven't had much chance to do any surveys lately, and I think someone besides Tom should get to have the fun occasionally." Tom knew what had prompted Chakotay's offer in part and he appreciated it. He didn't really want to leave B'Elanna right now, even for a day. But he just returned Chakotay's purposely challenging look with a smirk. "I suppose you can take a turn, Chakotay. You can always call me if there's anything you can't...handle." Chakotay rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I can manage to complete the survey and not crash the shuttle in the process, Tom." "I agree." Kathryn looked at B'Elanna and knew from her expression that the engineer was warring between wanting Tom nearby right now, and protesting being the recipient of any special favors. But Kathryn decided to be blunt. "I don't think Tom should leave right now, when you're so close to your due date." She held B'Elanna's gaze for a moment until B'Elanna nodded in acceptance. "I'll volunteer to go also," Joe said. "I can run the aerial part of the survey while Chakotay concentrates on not crashing the shuttle." Tom had just come up with another idea, and he didn't want to let the opportunity pass. It was really none of his business, but he was never one to shy away from stirring things up. Still, he took B'Elanna's hand and threaded his fingers through hers. Hopefully she would be willing to protect him if what he was about to say got him on the really bad side of Kathryn. "Kathryn, why don't you go on the survey with Chakotay? You haven't had much opportunity to really see Aurora yet." A momentary silence greeting Tom's suggestion. He glanced quickly at those around him. Joe was trying to suppress a grin, Tuvok was stoic as always though Tom thought he caught the hint of a frown, and Chakotay's face was if possible more expressionless than Tuvok's. Tom barely met Kathryn's knifelike gaze before turning to B'Elanna, who was giving him a reproachful look. But there was a hint of a smile behind it. "There is little of urgency to attend to in New Lourdes at the moment, and you are more than qualified to conduct the survey. I can see no objective reason for you not to take the opportunity to observe the topography of this planet." Incredibly it was Tuvok who delivered this argument, and he met Kathyrn's narrowed look impassively. Et tu, Tuvok, Kathryn thought, then dismissed it as quickly. There was no good reason why she hadn't taken the opportunity to see more of Aurora already. Except personal choice, her own stubborn refusal to accept the planet as her new, and probably permanent, home. She looked then at Chakotay, who simply raised his eyebrows, offering no opinion on whether he wanted her to come or not. Perversely, that annoyed her. "Fine, I'll go," Kathryn said, somewhat ungraciously as she rose from the table. "Let's get started." She strode out toward the door of the Mess hall, leaving everyone else to follow. Chakotay fell into step with Tom as they stepped from the Mess hall into the bright sunlight of Aurora. Winter was coming and the air was cool, not like the Indian summer type weather they'd been experiencing over the last couple of weeks. Today there was little warmth in the sun's rays. Chakotay glanced at Tom and Tom tried to interpret the older man's mood. He wasn't sure if Chakotay was annoyed with him or not. Oh well, Tom thought, no sense in going halfway. "Why don't you take the Aerowing." That got a startled look out of Chakotay. "She hasn't been out for a couple of weeks. She could use a good flight run, and she is a lot more comfortable than the other shuttles." Kathryn stopped abruptly enough in front of them that Tom almost ran into her. She turned to stare at Tom, who looked back at her innocently. "The Aerowing is flight ready," B'Elanna put in quickly. She couldn't believe Tom's audacity sometimes. Well, yes she could. But she found herself agreeing on this issue. She wanted to see Kathryn accept their situation- if not embrace it- as much as Tom did. "Fine. The Aerowing." Kathryn spared Tom a withering look and strode across the square with Chakotay, who immediately began to outline their preflight procedure in detail, completely non reactive to her pique. "B'Elanna, Harry said the new force field generator is ready for the final run through. I told him we would meet him and Susan at the Tech 2 building." B'Elanna nodded to Joe. She had talked to Harry last night. She still felt excited at the idea of the ryanamite, but chances were they wouldn't be able to use it until the spring, so the force field improvements, inadequate as they still were, would have to do for the time being. She turned to Tom, and kissed his cheek. "Try not to get yourself into any more trouble today," she whispered. Tom grinned. "I'll try. Take care of yourself," he added, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Mr. Paris." Tuvok spoke as B'Elanna and Joe walked away, and Tom was immediately warned by the formal address that Tuvok was about to say something he wouldn't like. "Since you will not be flying the survey today, perhaps now would be the appropriate time to log your reports from the past three surveys you've completed into the main computer system. They are long overdue." Damn, he should have made his getaway sooner. Nothing he could do about it now. Tom sighed. He loved flying the surveys, but he hated filing the reports. "All right, Tuvok. I guess I can't put it off any longer." "No, you cannot." Tom raised an eyebrow at Tuvok's rather satisfied tone, then shrugged, and followed the Vulcan toward the Meeting hall. It was going to be a long day. --- Chakotay stole a surreptitious glance at Kathryn as he made a minor adjustment to the heading of the Aerowing. She had said very little during the past two hours as they had traveled the nearly 4000 kilometers from New Lourdes to the edge of the Southern Panarctic Mountains. She had started the journey completely pulled into herself, her stubborn way of indicating that she had been reluctant to come on this trip. But she'd slowly relaxed and become attentive to, if not enthralled by the scenery that passed below them as they flew through the atmosphere only a few hundred meters above the surface. The planet was beautiful. Its pristine quality reminded him of the American Indian colony planet that had been handed over to the Cardassians as part of the Federation-Cardassian treaty, a move that had precipitated the forming of the Maquis renegades. The topography of Aurora was more varied though, and the planet was larger, slightly larger even than Earth. But similar to what Earth must have been like in pre-technological days. Chakotay caught sight of a waterfall near the sea's edge on the port side of the Aerowing. He'd been on a quick flyover of this area with Tom several months ago, when they'd mapped the entire edge of the Western sea- ocean really- from north of the equator, through the southern temperate zone where New Lourdes was located, to the ice floes near the south pole. He'd seen the waterfall then and it was the largest one they'd yet surveyed. He stole a quick glance at Kathryn, who was watching the snow capped mountain peaks passing below them. "There's the highest waterfall on Aurora, at least that we know of so far. And one of the most beautiful." Kathryn followed Chakotay's nod. A huge waterfall, perhaps 1500 meters high, lunged from the edge of one of the snow covered cliffs down to the sea. It's plunge was briefly broken in two places, where the water slammed into jutting rocks then spilled over and continued in a hurried frenzy to splash into the cobalt waters below. It was beautiful. "We aren't sure if the river freezes in the depth of winter, or if the waterfall continues year round," Chakotay said. "Now that we'll have satellite data this winter, we'll find out." They passed the waterfall and continued over the towering snow-capped mountains, broken by flat grassy valleys, the very sparseness of the amber grasses indicating the permafrost underlying the land here. The landscape was stark, yet stunning. It reminded Kathryn of the areas of Alaska and the Yukon on Earth, where she'd visited once on a break from the Academy. "A little like Alaska or Canada, or even trans- Siberia, isn't it?" Chakotay's words mirrored her own thoughts. He considered leaving it at that, but didn't. "Hard to deny that we've found a beautiful home." Chakotay turned and met Kathryn's gaze. Over the years he'd catalogued her looks in his mind, the good, the bad, and the truly forbidding. He'd never exactly numbered them, or made a true list, but he knew it would be longer than the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. Every once in a while she threw a new one at him. This look, however, was familiar to him. It was her "early warning" look, a notice not to proceed with this line of conversation. A mild look compared to what he knew she could deliver if he did proceed. Chakotay wasn't a man who lacked patience. He usually preferred a wait and see approach, to let situations- and people- adjust at their own pace, rather than force confrontations. Either his patience was now wearing thin, or he'd been hanging around Tom Paris too much and the pilot's general lack of caution was rubbing off. "I doubt we'll colonize this close to the polar regions, but who knows. Someday we'll expand from New Lourdes and we might want to put a ski resort right there." Chakotay looked at the snow covered slope below that really would make a great ski run. Then he glanced at Kathryn again and wasn't surprised to see that she wasn't looking at the view. She was staring right at him, and she'd notched her look up to "you are starting to push it, mister". The second warning. "Of course, that will be years down the road, but we will be expanding eventually," Chakotay said, his voice mild. "It's pretty much human nature. Even on a planetary surface we humans still have the urge to spread and explore. We've seen that on Federation colonies for hundreds of years." "We're not a Federation colony," Kathryn said shortly, her mouth grim. "This wasn't planned." "Colonies aren't always preplanned, Kathryn," Chakotay pointed out. "Like life. You end up somewhere unexpected and you plan after. That's been rather par for the course for us since we first found ourselves in the Delta quadrant. We've adjusted to everything else we've had to face, adjusting to Aurora's not that much different." "We may not be here long enough for that." Chakotay glanced at the controls to verify their heading before looking at Kathryn again. "We've already been here long enough for that. We all have some regrets, but almost everyone has adjusted to Aurora, to the fact that we'll probably be here for the rest of our lives. They've all managed to find something positive in the situation. Except you, Kathryn." For a moment Kathryn's face froze into her third and final warning look, the one the crew had called THE LOOK, the truly forbidding arctic stare that said he'd gone too far. Then she turned away and looked at the viewsceen for a moment, though Chakotay knew she wasn't seeing anything out there. When she looked back at him, her face was composed, but her eyes weren't. They looked at him, angry and hurt. "I promised to get them home, Chakotay," she said quietly. "They shouldn't have to adjust, to give up on ever seeing those they love again-" "You didn't promise to get them home, Kathryn," Chakotay interrupted, "You promised to do your best to get them home. And you did." "It just wasn't enough." "No, it wasn't." It was a bald statement, but it was the simple truth. "You also promised to bring two disparate groups of people together, Starfleet and Maquis, and make us one crew. And you did. You made us a community. We may all regret that we'll never see our family and our loved ones in the Alpha quadrant again, but we've found new friends, a new family here, in each other. Some of us have even found more love and more acceptance here than we ever knew in the Alpha quadrant. Look at Tom and B'Elanna." Chakotay used them as an example, because it was so true, but they weren't the only ones he was thinking about. Kathryn sighed. "I know. But I can't forget-" "Try harder." Kathryn raised her eyebrows at Chakotay's terse comment. She didn't make any reply, just nodded and turned to look out the viewscreen. Chakotay's gaze softened. "You're not the captain anymore, by your own choice, Kathryn. You're no longer personally responsible for us. We've all agreed to take equal responsibility for our future now. To set the course for our lives together as a community. As a colony. To make decisions about our future together." "Like not setting up a subspace beacon right now." Chakotay nodded. "It was the right decision." "I agreed with it, Chakotay," Kathryn pointed out. And she had, after participating in a lot of arguments back and forth among opposing sides. It had been the most difficult decision they'd made on Aurora so far. "You did. Eventually." "Do you think I believe otherwise?" Kathryn asked, looking at him. "No..." A smile touched the edges of Chakotay's mouth. He watched the small valley below them pass by before meeting her gaze. "But you wish otherwise. I know you, Kathryn. Your greatest hope is that some friendly race will wander by our remote location here and supply us with a ship that will get us back to the Alpha quadrant. Even if one of the friendlier races of the Delta quadrant, of which we haven't seen many, were willing to sell us a ship that could actually get us back, we have nothing to barter with, except our knowledge of Federation technology. I don't think any of us wants to be responsible for whatever havoc sharing that technology could potentially create. And I don't expect anyone, no matter how benevolent, is simply going to give us a ship gratis." "That's probably a moot point anyway, given the remoteness of our location here," Kathryn pointed out. Part of the reason the question of a subspace beacon had come about was because of the very remoteness of Aurora's location, well off the traveled space lanes. Only pure chance was likely to bring a ship calling at their door. "Unfortunately, the races we've encountered so far in the Delta quadrant have been mostly hostile, like the Kazon and the Vidiians. We've passed their space, but that doesn't mean they couldn't wander out this far. And we know the Borg are out here somewhere. They could still be thousands of light years distant or a couple of systems away. Broadcasting our location could be dangerous, especially since our defense right now is limited to hand weapons and the shuttle phasers." "Agreed." Kathryn voice was clipped. "Which I did." Chakotay knew that tone was a signal that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He continued anyway. "At least we were able to send an embedded subspace signal cloaked in this sun's energy signature. A Federation ship would know it for what it is and be able to decipher it." He didn't add that there was no realistic expectation of that happening any time soon. It could be fifty or a hundred years, even more, before Federation ships might be expected to start exploring the Delta quadrant, even on the basis of an intercepted signal from a lost ship and crew. Kathryn didn't reply, because she knew the likelihood as well as Chakotay. She looked at the snowy peaks below them, pink in the indirect sunlight that shone from only a few degrees above the horizon now that they were entering the arctic regions. The scenery was stunning, but she felt removed from it. Kathryn sighed inwardly. Chakotay was right about everything, she knew that too well. She had taken her promise to get Voyager home to heart, completely believed she would make good on it. She'd even begun to enjoy their journey, started to believe it was somehow ordained. She'd been so sure of herself, she'd detoured here to explore this planet, there to gather knowledge about that culture. But always with the course toward home, sure they would eventually get there. And with the ship under her feet, the very symbol of her reason for joining Starfleet in the first place. To explore, to wander, to discover, to be one of the ones who goes where no one else has, and to bring that knowledge back home. She hadn't told anyone, not even Chakotay or Tuvok, that deep down, past her practicality, and her general lack of obvious ego, she'd had nothing less than delusions of grandeur. She'd wanted to leave her mark, on Starfleet, on the Federation, and since arriving in the Delta quadrant, maybe on the galaxy. Voyager had fit easily into that desire. She could return home the hero, assured of her place in history. With the knowledge that her life would stand for something after she was gone. She hadn't exactly sat in her ready room on Voyager, thinking those pretentious thoughts consciously, but they'd been there, under the surface. And since they'd ended up on Aurora she'd come face to face with the fact that it had been one of her driving goals all along. Recognition, glory. Immortality. Kathryn dismissed those thoughts with a frown of self disgust and looked at Chakotay. He was staring right at her, a searching look on his face. He'd been watching her, and probably reading every expression that crossed her face. She knew she wasn't a particularly difficult read anyway, and Chakotay had become adept at it. "Returning heroes," Chakotay said softly after a moment, his gaze still locked with Kathryn's. "I guess that's one we'll miss out on now." She might as well have said it all out loud. She frowned and shook her head self depreciatingly. "I never thought I was so hungry for personal glory." "You, a Starfleet Captain?" Chakotay said, his voice teasing. "I think that's a requirement, but generally well deserved. And you of all people, Kathryn, would never have taken all the glory. You would have seen that your crew got more than their share." He gave her a measuring look. "Ambitious, perhaps, but self serving, never." A small, but genuine smile crossed Kathryn's face. "Thank you, Chakotay." She leaned back in her seat and shrugged. "That's a moot point also. We will be lucky now if there's even a footnote in a passing ship's log years from now to prove that we ever even existed." Chakotay smiled slightly. "There's probably at least a footnote or two about us in Federation archives right now. We may have disappeared from general conversation in the Alpha quadrant, and we may not be here a hundred years from now, but what about our descendants? B'Elanna and Tom are about to bring their own legacy to Aurora in a few days, with others to follow." He looked directly at Kathryn. "That's the oldest and most permanent way to leave your mark, Kathryn, and I might add by far the most enjoyable." Kathryn gave Chakotay an admonishing look, laced with amusement. One of the looks he knew well and enjoyed, even liked to elicit purposely. "Are you making some sort of offer, Chakotay?" Chakotay grinned. Hell, yes, he was. "Would you take me up on it?" he queried, his voice lightly suggestive. Kathryn glanced at her console and back at Chakotay, who was watching her closely. "Before or after we circumnavigate the planet?" Chakotay looked down at his instruments. Damn. At least he'd only overshot their coordinates by a few dozen kilometers. He put the Aerowing into a steep turn, and being smaller than the workhorse shuttles she took the turn with ease. But not without stressing the inertial dampeners and causing the human occupants inside to grab onto something to keep from being tossed out of their seats. "Tom would put you in recurrency training for that," Kathryn said, loosening her grip on the console in front of her as the Aerowing settled back on course. "I don't plan to tell our star pilot about this," Chakotay said. He looked at Kathryn, eyebrows raised, and she just gave him a noncommittal smirk as she moved her fingers along the display screen on the console in front of her. "Sensors are calibrated and ready to scan," Kathryn announced a couple of minutes later. She looked back up at Chakotay and a small smile lurked on her face. "Just try and fly straight and we should get all the data we need." Chakotay glanced at Kathryn, more than willing to take the teasing if it meant seeing her so relaxed. Not that he couldn't give it right back. He dropped the Aerowing sharply toward the site. Kathryn gave him a narrow look of reproach, one of her more frequently utilized looks. He just grinned unrepentantly. "Start scanning." Kathryn directed the sensors and collected the data for thirty minutes as Chakotay flew the Aerowing closely along the ridged mountainside, with nearly as much ease as Tom Paris might. "I think I'm done," Kathryn finally said. "I've got the vein mapped. It goes pretty deep, but it's well defined. With the proper equipment and a little effort, we should be able to extract just about all the ryanamite." "How much?" "Enough to keep B'Elanna and Joe and the rest of our engineers busy designing and redesigning for years." Chakotay smiled at that thought, and at the realization that Kathryn had spoken about years in the future- in their future on Aurora- matter of factly. He headed the Aerowing back toward their starting point at the other end of the ridge while Kathryn called New Lourdes to report their progress. "I think we'll land and take a quick look at where the vein originates," Kathryn was saying as the Aerowing approached the first ridge, pocked with small caves and crevices, and rocky precipices. She glanced at Chakotay and he nodded. "We'll check in as soon as were ready to head back, Tuvok." Chakotay heard Tuvok sign off as he piloted the Aerowing toward a flat snow dusted area where a small amount of hiking would get them to the caves where the vein of ryanamite seemed to originate. The sun was barely above the horizon now and he prepared to set down in the dimly lit shadow of the towering ridge when Kathryn touched his arm. "Chakotay, pull up." Chakotay glanced at Kathryn questioningly but did as she requested and pulled out of the landing approach. She was looking intently at her sensor screen. "I didn't notice it before, but there was a faint reading as we dropped along the upper ridge. It could be another vein. Maybe we should check it out." Chakotay obligingly did another fly by, and five minutes later Kathryn shook her head. "It is a secondary vein, but barely cohesive. There's so little it probably wouldn't be worth the effort to extract it." Chakotay glanced at her readings and shook his head. "Not when we've got the main vein. That alone is enough to supply our energy needs for decades." He looked at the horizon where last edge of the sun was just sinking out of sight, leaving the long shadows of twilight behind. "Do you still want to check out the beginning of the first vein?" "Absolutely," Kathryn said, leaning back in her chair and stretching. "I'm ready to get out of here and move around a little. And we have plenty of light with us if it gets a little dark." "Your wish, etcetera, etcetera," Chakotay said. He steered the Aerowing along the ridge and prepared to drop into a landing. Just as he set the coordinates it happened. Every instrument reading on the console spiked momentarily, and then went dead. "What the hell-" Kathryn jerked up as she stared at the console, then realized at the same time that the humming of the engines was dropping in volume. An instant later there was only an ominous silence. "We've completely lost power and all instrumentation," Chakotay said tersely, and unnecessarily, as he pressed several pads on the console even though he immediately knew it was useless. The Aerowing dropped and Chakotay resisted the urge to grab Kathyrn and try and shield her from what was coming. Instead he did his best to try and manually control the freefall, with only enough time to shout, "Kathryn, brace yourself!" --- "B'Elanna! Just the person I was hoping to see." B'Elanna stopped in midstride as she walked toward the main square with Harry. They had finished the final run through on the force field generator and were heading back to the Mess hall for lunch. She wasn't too fond of being interrupted since the weather had cooled even more since this morning. Clouds now covered the sun and a stiff wind had kicked up. Even in her softly lined thermal cotton pants and jacket, that barely stretched over her belly now, she felt a chill. She really wanted a cup of coffee, or even Tarkelian tea, but the doctor had been adamant about limiting her intake of stimulants. The one cup of coffee she allowed herself in the morning had elicited complaints from the doctor. And he didn't even know about the stash of Tarkelian tea Neelix had given her on the sly several months ago. "Hey, Gerron," Harry greeted the Bajoran who waved to them from the door of his wood shop. Setting up a colony on Aurora had demanded many of the same skills that had kept Voyager going, but some of the skills so important on a starship had limited application on Aurora. Instead knowledge about crops, construction, and the like had come into play. And Gerron, like many others, had put those hidden skills to use. "Come inside," Gerron said, waving them forward. Harry nodded and put a guiding hand on B'Elanna's arm and hurried for her sake. He knew how much she disliked the cold, and it must be doubly bothersome to deal with when she was already so close to term. Gerron stood back as B'Elanna and Harry stepped through the doorway. It was warmer inside than outside and for that B'Elanna was grateful. They had arrived nearly a year ago by Aurora's rotation, close to 14 months in Earth time. It had been winter then, cold and blustery, something like Iowa, Kathryn had said. But B'Elanna didn't remember it bothering her this much. Of course then she had been bothered by so many other things. And she hadn't been almost nine months pregnant. "I have some of Neelix's herbal tea if you'd like some," Gerron said, following them inside. "It's hot." He walked to a small table and poured the ginger colored brew from a teapot into several cups. B'Elanna took a cup from Gerron with murmured thanks. Neelix's herbal tea was weak and rather tasteless, but it was warm and free of stimulants. The wood shop was filled with pieces of furniture, some finished and some in progress. Gerron and Michael Ayala had found a niche a few months after they'd arrived and now were building most of the furniture needed in New Lourdes from the local woods. It was a very appreciated skill, and saved the replicator for more urgent needs. "I finished the cradle," Gerron said, leading B'Elanna and Kim past several chairs and small tables, and a collection of sanded and polished wood pieces. He stopped in front of a cradle, fitted into a carved stand. The wood of both was a warm reddish gold color, softly polished until it gleamed. Kim touched the edge of the cradle with just enough force to move it, and it rocked gently on the stand. "Nice job, Gerron." B'Elanna set her cup of tea one of the small tables beside her and reached out to run a finger along the cradle's edge. The wood was smooth and soft to the touch. "It's beautiful, Gerron." Gerron smiled at B'Elanna's obvious appreciation. He had made a crib and accompanying baby furniture for Tom and B'Elanna months ago, but the cradle he had kept working on, wanting to get it just right. He noticed her gaze focused on the headboard. "That's a Bajoran design. It represents the spirits of the Kerrai, special messengers of the prophets who look after babies. Their presence assures the baby will be protected and loved by all those who reach into the cradle." B'Elanna stared at the abstract, ethereal lines, and she thought she could make out elongated hands reaching down, the outline of wings, and clouds, or nebulae... "I hope it's all right that it's Bajoran," Gerron said anxiously. He thought the small smile playing across B'Elanna's face looked a little pensive. "I should have asked you if you would have preferred something Klingon, or even human." "Actually, these are pretty similar to the human concept of angels," Harry said, then glanced at B'Elanna. "Do Klingons have any concept of angels?" B'Elanna shook her head, her gaze still on the cradle headboard. "Nothing like these. Klingon spirits are more of the avenging type." And although she'd come to accept that side of her dual heritage more and more, in this case she preferred the human culture. Though staring at the headboard nagged at a memory, one that she couldn't quite place. She reached over and squeezed Gerron's arm. "Tom will love it, Gerron. And so do I. Thank you." "You are very welcome," Gerron said sincerely. "And don't worry, Harry, I'm already starting one for you and Kes. And then one for myself and Megan." He smiled. "Given the sudden demand, this may become my signature piece." "Yes, Gerron can carve his cradles while I do the rest of the work." Gerron laughed. "Michael, back already?" "Hey, Harry, B'Elanna." Michael Ayala squeezed by with an armload of wood, headed for the small pile of processed planks lined along the back wall, and B'Elanna and Harry moved aside to give him more room as they echoed his greeting. B'Elanna's foot connected with something unstable as she stepped back. She tried to regain her balance, but slipped completely and landed on her butt, wincing a little at the impact. "B'Elanna! Are you all right?" She stared up at the concerned faces hovering around her. "I'm fine." She grabbed Harry's proffered hand and stood up awkwardly, as Gerron gripped her other arm. Other than the difficulty of getting from a sitting to a standing position while she was so heavily pregnant, she didn't feel anything amiss. Except her pride. "B'Elanna, I'm so sorry!" Michael said, pushing the shiny tarp that had tripped her up back against the wall. "Are you sure you're okay?" They were all staring at her as if she was going to go into labor any second. "Don't worry," she snapped, "I'm not about to have the baby here and now. I didn't fall that hard." "I guess the doctor would be barking orders into your commbadge about now if that were going to happen," Harry said, grinning, aware that the doctor had insisted B'Elanna wear a subdermal fetal monitor during her final weeks as a precautionary measure. "Right. The baby's fine, I'm fine." The tone of B'Elanna's voice made it clear that the subject was closed. "We really have to clean up this place, Gerron," Michael said, still looking sheepish. "There's just too much stuff in here." Gerron nodded. "After winter's over we really need to add on a room. We can separate the showroom from the workshop area so we don't injure our customers while they're visiting." He winked at B'Elanna. A rush of air blew into the room as the front door opened. "Ah, there you are." Joe Carey addressed Harry and B'Elanna. "Tuvok just monitored some sort of short but intense magnetic burst in the atmosphere. It affected some of our instruments, but it was much stronger near the south pole area." "The Aerowing?" Harry asked immediately. "We've lost contact," Joe said, then added quickly, "But Kathryn and Chakotay called in their landing coordinates fifteen minutes before it happened so they were no doubt on the ground when the burst hit. It obviously affected their communications, and probably everything else on the Aerowing." "We'd better talk to Tuvok about this," Harry said as he and B'Elanna hurried toward the door, "and decide whether we should send a shuttle now or wait awhile until we know the magnetic interference is over and it's safe." "That's what Tuvok wants to talk about," Joe confirmed. "Tom and Susan are in the Meeting hall with him waiting for us." Harry and B'Elanna followed Joe out the door, and the chill B'Elanna felt as they stepped into the wintry air wasn't just from the cold. --- Kathryn eased herself away from the front console, shaking her head to clear the disoriented feeling. They'd landed hard, but luckily they had been only a couple of hundred meters off the ground, and Chakotay had kept the Aerowing nearly level. Still that was far enough in a virtual freefall. She looked over at Chakotay who was leaning back in his chair, conscious but looking a little dazed. Although the console on her side was intact, the console on his side had buckled near the side wall. Obviously they had hit the ground harder on that side, though the actual impact had been so swift she'd barely noticed. "Chakotay." Kathryn stood up a little unsteadily, glad to note that she only felt bruised and shaken, but not injured. She reached over and touched Chakotay's shoulder. "Are you all right?" Chakotay opened his eyes and looked at her. He moved a little to assess any injuries and glanced around the Aerowing. It looked reasonably intact, considering, as did Kathryn, though she had a bruise on her forehead where she'd probably hit the console. She was still looking at him with concern. "Chakotay-" "I'm okay," he said, then grimaced a little. "Except that I'm pretty sure my left leg is broken." Kathryn expression didn't change, she simply knelt down as Chakotay swiveled the chair with a groan, and looked at the damage. Chakotay's left leg, which had been caught next to the buckled wall and console, was obviously broken. His pant leg was torn and the sharp edge of bone had broken through the skin on his shin. A compound fracture, but at least the break was clean. Kathryn stood up. "I'll get the medikit," she said, squeezing his shoulder. "I'll be right back." She strode toward the back, stepping over several items that had been dislodged from the cabinets. She was back with the medikit in less than a minute. "Let me get the painkiller in you first," She said, searching in the small kit for the appropriate hypo. "Don't worry about that-" "Yes, I think I will," Kathryn said, checking the dosage in the hypo. "I'm not a doctor, and it would be very distracting if you start screaming because of my lack of finesse." "Wouldn't want that." Chakotay managed a small smile as she released the contents of the hypo against his arm. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes as her hands ripped his pants leg away. "Good idea closing your eyes," Kathryn said, as she quickly pushed the bone back into place and checked the readings on the osteo-regenerator. No go. "You don't want to witness my handiwork to closely." "Didn't you take a field medic class at the Academy?" Chakotay asked. He could feel her hands his leg but there wasn't any pain. "I did, but I barely passed," Kathryn said, working on his leg. She checked the osteo- regenerator again. This time it gave the go ahead. "Of course, that could be because I got a D in the bedside manner portion." She ran the osteo-regenerator carefully along his bone. "I guess I just wasn't very sympathetic." Chakotay chuckled. "Your bedside manner seems okay to me." His voice came out a little shaky and he realized he was feeling distinctly woozy. He wondered just how much painkiller she had given him. "Unless of course you're trying to overdose me. In that case I might have to reconsider." Kathryn smiled as Chakotay's words came out a little thick. "You shouldn't accuse someone who has a sensitive medical instrument aimed at you." She pulled the osteo- regenerator away as she spoke and turned it off. "There, I think I'm done. When we get back the doctor will probably want to refine the knitting a little. And probably ban me from ever using a medikit again." "That's reassuring," Chakotay muttered. Kathryn leaned over and put her hands under Chakotay's arms. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She put her arms around his back for more leverage. "Come on." Chakotay smiled. "Are you trying to proposition me, Kathryn?" Kathryn snorted. "Maybe I did give you too much pain medication." She tugged at him again. "I'm trying to help you up. Cooperate." Chakotay cooperated, and stood up unsteadily, letting his weight rest on his good leg and trying not to lean too hard on Kathryn. He gingerly tested his other leg. It held his weight without pain, though with the painkillers in his system, that didn't tell him much. "It seems okay. Thanks." "You should probably still keep your weight off it as much as possible, so the bone can strengthen." She made sure he could stand on his own, then reached over to press several pads on the console. No response, as she expected. She slapped her commbadge and got no high pitched beep in return. It was dead, too. "I guess we can't call the cavalry this time," Chakotay said wryly. "Not at the moment anyway," Kathryn agreed. She looked around the small cabin area, which was becoming increasingly dim as darkness descended outside. A few steps brought her to the supplies cabinet, which had opened and spilled much of its contents onto the floor. She grabbed the two wrist lights, which operated solely on batteries, and handed one to Chakotay. "Why don't you check out the front console systems, and I'll take a look at the engine systems. We'd better get an idea of how much repair time we're facing." Chakotay slid the wrist light on and sat down gratefully at the front console. He was still feeling a little wobbly. He checked over the communications and flight control systems, even though he knew exactly what he would find. "The engine propulsion system is completely down," Kathryn said from the back several minutes later. "Same with communications, flight control, environmental control," Chakotay confirmed. "Every computer linked system is dead. Thanks to the interfuse buffer the backup programs are intact. But it will take several hours to reroute the links and recalibrate everything." "At least. Meanwhile, without environmental controls it's going to get a lot colder in here." Kathryn reached for the backpacks still stuffed in the corner of the supply cabinet. "I don't think we'll be able to stay here tonight." "No," Chakotay agreed, kneeling down next to her gingerly, being careful of his leg. "I think we'd better seek some real shelter and save the repairs for tomorrow morning when it's light. Any external damage will have to wait until then anyway. At which point we will probably have company." Kathryn nodded, handing Chakotay the emergency medical kit and food ration packs. She really regretted that they couldn't contact New Lourdes and let everyone know they were safe. No doubt Tuvok had monitored the magnetic burst and had tried numerous times to contact the Aerowing. She stuffed the thermal blankets and survival supply packs into her backpack. "After we find a suitable cave to shelter for the night, we can work on getting the commbadges and tricorder back in working order. Maybe by morning we'll be able to contact New Lourdes." Chakotay stood up and tested his leg again. The medication was wearing off and it felt a little sore when he put his weight on it. But it supported him. "Okay?" Kathryn asked, watching Chakotay test his balance. She handed him one of the thermal jackets they had brought, and slipped her own on. It felt good, since the temperature had already dropped several degrees centigrade over the past few minutes. "It'll get me there and back," Chakotay said, shrugging his own jacket on. He took the phaser Kathryn handed him and hooked it on his belt. Kathryn put the tricorder in her pack and closed it. She thought about offering to carry Chakotay's pack, but figured he'd refuse. She picked up the portable lamp instead and pressed the manual door control with her other hand. The door creaked slowly open, and a blast of freezing air greeted them. "I thought I was ready for this," Kathryn muttered, shivering involuntarily. She pulled her hood tighter over her head and stepped out of the Aerowing, aware that Chakotay was close behind her. The darkness was nearly complete now, and Kathryn lifted the lamp higher, throwing a wide arc of light around the small clearing. A light snow was falling and the wind was slight but biting. She stepped gingerly on the ground. It was packed with a thin, icy layer of snow. The footing was uneven, and bits of rock jutted from the snow pack here and there. They were just below the tree line, and a few bushes and stunted trees, hardy enough to survive the harsh conditions, dotted the clearing. The ground sloped upward slightly until it ran into the sheer wall of the mountainside, just visible at the edge of the lamplight's reach. The darker crevices in the wall were no doubt part of the cave system their scans had indicated. Kathryn glanced at Chakotay, who had taken a couple of steps away from her. He was at the back of the Aerowing and Kathryn moved over to join him. She followed his gaze and saw what had caught his somber attention. The aft panel of the Aerowing was almost exactly aligned with the edge of the clearing, where the ground suddenly dropped off into a steep slope of broken ground and jagged rock formations that disappeared into the blackness below. She shivered, not just from the cold, and looked at Chakotay. They stared at each other wordlessly for a moment. "Nice landing," Kathryn finally murmured, breaking the tension as they both realized how close the Aerowing had come to disappearing into the invisible bottom of that precipice. With them along for the ride. Chakotay returned her ironic smile. "Could have been a little rougher, I guess." Kathryn suppressed a shudder and moved the lamplight away from the edge. No sense dwelling on that. She walked toward the front of the Aerowing, where its sleek line was marred by buckled metal. "It looks mostly structural," Chakotay said from behind her. "I think she'll still be flyable, but we'll know better tomorrow." The snow was falling with a little more earnest now, and Kathryn shook her head and wrinkled her nose in an effort to dispel the cold wetness. Her face was already starting to feel a little numb. "I think we'd better seek out our accommodations for the night." "Lead on," Chakotay said pulling his jacket closer, and readjusting his pack. They trudged doggedly over the uneven ground toward the mountainside, Kathryn leading at a steady pace, but careful to keep it slow enough to accommodate Chakotay's injured leg. --- "We've hit the two hour mark, Tuvok, and we still can't establish contact." Tom glanced at those gathered around the large table in the Meeting hall, a couple of dozen at this point. He saw the same concern he felt mirrored on the faces of Mikel, Janine, Chell, Susan and the rest. He tried to reign in his own impatience, but wasn't particularly successful. "We'd better make a decision now." Tuvok looked at Tom impassively. A small frown marred his forehead. If queried, he would point out that the gesture was indicative of concentrative thought, even if the humans around him sometimes interpreted it as a sign of annoyance. Or worry. "There is still no definitive cause for alarm. Given the magnitude of the burst, it is likely that the systems on the Aerowing were severely affected and will take many hours to repair. Logic would dictate that Kathryn and Chakotay would seek shelter for the night and proceed with repairs tomorrow. However-" Tuvok continued to speak over Tom's beginning of a protest, "we cannot know their condition with certainty. Now that the magnetic activity appears to have dissipated, sending a shuttle to check on their situation is a viable option." "It's the only option, as far as I'm concerned," Tom said, and several voices murmured in concurrence. "Tuvok, if we can get there and check on them now, then we should try. Without environmental controls the Aerowing won't be any protection. As you say, I'm sure they will seek shelter, but how do we know if any suitable shelter is available? And even if it's probably unlikely, I'd like to see for myself that they're not hurt, or in any other kind of serious trouble." "We'd be going in the morning anyway," Joe added. Other than volunteering to go with Tom when the discussion had started, he'd pretty much kept silent until now. "They'll need some help getting the backup systems on-line, if the primary systems were as damaged as we suspect. We might as well get there sooner than later. We can make sure they're okay, and bring them back here if there's any problem. Or at the very least we'll have the shelter of a working shuttle for the night if they need it." "I do not dispute your points," Tuvok said. "My reluctance has been based on the inadvisability of placing another shuttle and its occupants in danger from further magnetic activity in that region. Even now there is a risk, since we cannot predict the possibility of another burst with any accuracy." "The atmospheric activity has died down," Harry pointed out, "so that should greatly reduce the odds of another burst." "It reduces the odds of an uncontained burst by 97.2%," Tuvok cited. "However, it does not eliminate the higher odds for residual activity from the original burst." "The risk is worth it," Tom said bluntly. "I agree." B'Elanna made an effort to smile as Tom threw her a grateful look and squeezed her hand. She'd also said little for the past two hours, concentrating on the hope that Kathryn and Chakotay would find a way to contact them and render the discussion moot. She hated the thought of Tom flying a shuttle into a region where the atmosphere had been so recently disturbed by a magnetic burst. And she knew there was no question that Tom would be the one to go, because he was far and away the best man for the job. But her personal fears had no place in the decision. Besides if there was even the possibility that Kathryn and Chakotay were hurt, or in trouble... "We can't just wait and hope for the best, no matter what the odds are." Tuvok nodded, and looked at Tom. "If you are willing to shoulder them, then the risks seem acceptable." He glanced around at the gathered group, and virtually all nodded their agreement. Tom simply nodded and looked relieved. It was settled. Ten minutes later most of the crowd had dispersed, leaving Tom and Joe discussing their planned procedure with Tuvok while Harry and B'Elanna listened quietly, until Neelix arrived, bearing gifts- several containers of food he had prepared himself. "I can't bear to think of Kathryn and Chakotay eating the dried rations provided in the shuttles," Neelix said, handing the bagged offerings to Tom and Joe. He'd actually sampled those rations once out of simple curiosity and had been appalled. "And I included some of my coffee, which I know Kathryn loves." "I'm sure she'll appreciate it, Neelix," Tom took one of the bags and handing the other to Joe. In fact Neelix's cooking was a definite improvement over the shuttle rations, which tasted like sawdust even after you added water and heated them. "Anything else, Tuvok?" "I do suggest you exercise caution, Mr. Paris," Tuvok said, as they all walked toward the door. He fixed a stern look on Tom. "Extreme heroics are not called for." "Me, not exercise caution?" Tom asked mockingly. He could never resist tweaking Tuvok. He grinned. "I won't stall the engines more than a couple of times in my quest for hero status. Joe's teeth will only rattle a little." "I knew we should have installed full body restraints when we did the last shuttle refit," Joe said with feigned consternation. "B'Elanna-" Tom's amusement abruptly faded as glanced over and intercepted B'Elanna's furious glare. He moved to grab her hand but she eluded him and pushed her way out the door. Tom looked back at Tuvok, who simply raised one eyebrow. "I'll start the preflight check, Tom," Joe said after a significant pause, taking the other bag from Tom's hand and giving him a commiserating smile. "I'll see you at the Cochrane in a few minutes." Tom nodded to Joe, then looked at Tuvok with a somber expression. "I won't take any chances, Tuvok. We'll be back. All of us." He caught Tuvok's slight nod, then exchanged a quick glance with Harry and Neelix before he turned and ran out the door. Tom caught up with B'Elanna as she was approaching the Mess hall. "B'Elanna-" He reached for her arm, but she shook him away. "B'Elanna, stop-" B'Elanna turned around so fast Tom ran straight into her. He grabbed her shoulders, worried he was going to knock her over. Instead she pushed him away so hard he stumbled and barely managed to keep his own balance. "I don't want to talk to you right now, Tom. Go." She was really mad. "B'Elanna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" "You're not amusing, Tom. I don't think it's funny that you make a joke out a potentially dangerous situation-" "B'Elanna-" "Your life means so little to you that you think nothing of being reckless-" "I may talk reckless, B'Elanna. That's not the same as acting reckless, and I-" "Apparently it's not enough that I'm here, and that I'm having your baby-" "B'Elanna-" "Even that's not enough for you to take your life and your safety seriously for one minute, is it?" Tom stared at her. "B'Elanna, do you think maybe you're overreacting a little, because of-" "Do not go there, Tom." B'Elanna's expression was furious but her voice was dangerously calm. Her arms were crossed defensively over her chest. "B'Elanna, listen to me for one minute-" Tom halted in midsentence as he saw her shiver suddenly and rub her arms. "You're cold." He grasped her shoulders and pulled her around the side of the Mess hall, where the chill of the wind couldn't reach them. Before he could release her she shook his hands off and grabbed one of his wrists in a tight grip. "You're not going to hit me, are you, B'Elanna?" Tom asked softly, knowing the answer even as B'Elanna's flashing eyes bored into his. No matter the provocation, she rarely let her Klingon instincts completely take over, and never toward him. Well, not in anger anyway. Sex was another matter entirely. B'Elanna met Tom's unflinching gaze for a long moment, then felt her anger begin to recede. For all her Klingon temper, she'd never crossed that point, she'd never hauled off and hit Tom in anger. She'd slowly learned to control that part of her Klingon nature, the urge to physically strike out in anger. Not only because Tom didn't deserve it, no matter how furious he sometimes unintentionally made her. But also because she knew that nothing she could ever say or do would induce Tom to hit her, and she could be very difficult to get along with. It simply wasn't in his nature to be physically violent with a woman, especially a woman he loved. And while Klingons might sneer at such self restraint, chivalry even, as one more sign of the inherent weakness of humans, she didn't see it that way at all. Tom saw B'Elanna's expression change, and felt her grip on his wrist relax. He twisted his arm enough to dislodge her grip, and caught her hand in his. "B'Elanna, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so insensitive." He raised her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles softly. "I love you. And our baby." He put his other arm around her back and when she didn't protest, pulled her close to him, so that her swelled stomach was pressed to the flat plane of his, their baby cradled between them. He looked down into her upturned face. "Old habits die hard I guess. And you know me, my mouth is sometimes on autopilot." B'Elanna's mouth quirked slightly. "Sometimes?" Tom smiled in response. Then his expression became serious. "B'Elanna, since I've been with you, for the first time in my life I really have something to lose, someone that I don't want to live without." B'Elanna's brown eyes softened and locked with his. "So do I, Tom. Can't you see that?" Tom nodded at her fervently whispered words. His mouth moved closer to hers, close enough that their breath mingled. "I will never risk losing you, or our baby." His lips brushed across hers. "And I will never risk you losing me." He molded his lips to hers gently, caressingly. "I won't leave you, B'Elanna." It was a promise B'Elanna knew Tom meant in his heart even if he couldn't truly guarantee it, and that was enough for her. Her free hand threaded through his hair and she crushed her mouth to his, and for several moments they feverishly plundered each other's depths. Tom wrapped both arms around her and felt the heat course through his body, the desire that was never completely sated where his wife was concerned. He pulled back only when he ran out of breath, and smiled down into her flushed face. Her eyes were smoky with desire, and her breathing as labored as his, and it excited him all the more to know that she felt the same way he did. "I've got to go." "I know." She smiled slowly, and he knew it was an effort. "Bring Kathryn and Chakotay back." She dropped one hand to her belly. "We'll be waiting." Tom placed a hand over hers, and pushed back her slightly mussed hair with his other hand, caressing her cheek with his thumb. He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'll be back soon." And one more soft kiss on her mouth. "I love you." His other hand squeezed hers, then stroked her belly. "Both." "I love you, too," B'Elanna whispered, as he gave her one last probing look. "Go inside where it's warm," Tom coaxed softly, then turned and strode quickly away. He looked back just once as he turned from the square toward the shuttlebay. He saw Kes greet B'Elanna at the door of the Mess hall, and watched B'Elanna walk inside. Satisfied, he picked up his pace, rubbing his own arms against the chilling air. And if it was getting cold here, he thought, then he didn't want to imagine what the weather was like where Kathryn and Chakotay were stranded. --- "What did you say this was?" Kathryn glanced at Chakotay, then at the empty ration package lying next to her. "Turkey gumbo." She scooped up a spoonful and tipped the spoon, watching the thin beige liquid drip back into the bowl. "I guess you have to use your imagination." "And you'd better have a good imagination," Chakotay said. Still, he'd been hungry enough to finish it. He set his empty bowl down and picked up another piece of the dried jerky. At least that tasted something like what it was supposed to be. Kathryn set her bowl and spoon down next to Chakotay's and picked up the cup in front of her instead, wrapping her hands tightly around the warm exterior. She took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. "At least it's hot." Kathryn caught Chakotay's knowing grin and just grunted. She wished they'd thought to bring some real food and drink with them, but they had expected to be back at New Lourdes in time for dinner. Instead they were now enjoying emergency rations, Starfleet emergency rations, designed to last for decades, if not centuries. They certainly tasted like they'd been around that long. Chakotay started gathering up the dinner dishes, and the tin utensils clinked against each other. "I'll clean up if you want to work on the commbadge circuits again." "All right." Kathryn picked up the commbadge from the pile of items they had brought with them from the Aerowing, that now spilled out of the pack beside her. She turned slightly to get better advantage of the light from the lamp, and edged a little closer to the small fire Chakotay had built. There wasn't any real wood available in their clearing, just damp sinewy plant fiber that wouldn't burn. So they would have to rely on the three small chemically treated logs from the emergency survival kits to keep them warm. Well, maybe not completely warm, but tiny as the fire was, it would keep them from freezing. Especially since this cave they'd found was relatively small and snug, only a few centimeters higher than Chakotay's head when he stood up, and about ten meters wide and perhaps sixteen meters deep. They'd had to stoop- nearly crawl- through the small entrance, but that was also a plus since the temperature outside was well below 0 degrees centigrade. And the deep rock held what heat there was far better than the thin metal skin of the Aerowing could have. Chakotay rinsed the dishes in the small tin pan that was half filled with now melted snow. Then he deftly stacked the utensils and dishes into their respective interlocking spaces and snapped it all together into one small tin case. "You certainly are proficient at that." Chakotay looked up and caught Kathryn's amused stare. He grinned. "Don't you know that all Starfleet camping gear is modeled after the Boy Scouts?" "You never told me you were a Boy Scout." "For a year or two, in between my other adventurous boyhood activities. Are you surprised?" Kathryn chuckled at Chakotay's dry question. "Hardly. You know what they say. Once a boy scout..." "Why do I feel like I've just been insulted?" Chakotay asked, a smile lurking on his face. "Weren't you ever a Girl Scout, Kathryn?" Kathryn shook her head, grimacing slightly at the commbadge in her hand. She moved the tiny pick tool between the exposed circuitry. "You know me, Chakotay. Even as a child I always liked to do everything myself. I was a little too obstinate to be a good Girl Scout." "Too bad. I was hoping you knew how to make s'mores." Kathryn chuckled. "Not unless they come in ration packs." Then she looked up at Chakotay in mock horror. "God forbid." Chakotay thumbed through the remaining ration packs, then tossed them beside the dishes. "You're safe. But we do have scrambled eggs and oatmeal for breakfast." "Great. I look forward to it." Kathryn frowned again at the commbadge in her hand. "I can't fix this, Chakotay. The circuitry is wiped clean." She tossed the commbadge into the pile where it bounced off the equally useless tricorder. "But I guess you knew that already." Chakotay shrugged. Engineering wasn't his best talent, but he'd been cross trained in the basics like all Starfleet personnel. He hadn't expected Kathryn would have any success with the commbadge, but he knew she'd have to try. "The signal probably would have been too weak to make it to New Lourdes anyway. We'll just have to wait until we can get backup communications on-line in the Aerowing tomorrow." Kathryn nodded, looking unhappy about it. "I wish we could let New Lourdes know-" She cut off the thought and rubbed her arms, edging closer to the fire again. "If it wasn't freezing two meters beyond this fire we could at least explore a little. It would be more useful than sitting here." "It's not an option right now," Chakotay agreed. "But when we get back to New Lourdes you can ask Tom to schedule you for some of the surveys he has drawn up for the northern hemisphere. It's summer there, which makes the exploring a lot more comfortable." Kathryn held Chakotay's gaze for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe I will," she said, her voice noncommittal. Chakotay reached over and rearranged the items next to him, pushing the ration packs and utensils aside to bring out the thermal blankets and folded sleeping pad. "You know, Tuvok and I were discussing a thought of his the other day. He mentioned the idea of establishing a secondary colony site in the northern temperate zone, so that we could have maximum productivity for our crops all year long. And I know several people- B'Elanna and Chell come to mind- who would like to avoid dealing with winter all together. We could start off by snowbirding it as it were..." "You're thinking a little ahead, aren't you, Chakotay?" Kathryn said curtly. Chakotay smoothed out the sleeping pad. He could feel Kathryn's eyes on him, watching his movements. He looked up at her. "There's nowhere to think but ahead, Kathryn. And we've got a whole planet to work with." "The galaxy for a planet," Kathryn said lightly, but she couldn't quite keep the small trace of bitterness out of her voice, even though she knew it was time, well past time, for her to quit fighting the inevitable. Chakotay heard the slight edge of bitterness in her voice, or maybe it was now simply regret. He dropped the blankets onto the sleeping pad and spread them out. He could feel her eyes trained on him again. "These blankets should keep us relatively warm, but they work best when we share our body heat." Kathryn looked down at her wrist chronometer, partly to avoid Chakotay's challenging gaze, and partly to turn her own thoughts away from other things that it was well past time for her to face. 2020. Eight twenty. "It's a little early yet to go to...bed." Then she quickly amended, "To sleep." Damn, she hadn't meant to make it sound like she was thinking about...some other activity. At least she didn't think she had. Chakotay suppressed the small smile that crossed his face, and resisted the temptation to rise to the bait of that remark. "It is a little early, but as you mentioned, it's a little too cold to do much else. Besides, we left the deck of cards on the Aerowing," he added as he stretched out on the blankets. He couldn't suppress a slight wince as he repositioned his bad leg. Kathryn hadn't missed his grimace. "Does your leg hurt?" "It's just a twinge or two, probably just mending pains. Don't get the medikit." Kathryn raised an eyebrow as Chakotay's alarmed look, but she moved her hand away from the medikit. "Okay, I get the point. I feel like Dr. Moreau." "I was teasing, Kathryn. You're medical skills are fine. But my leg really is okay, just a little stiff." "You don't want a painkiller?" "It's not bothering me that much, and I don't like feeling woozy. Although..." Chakotay grinned and there was a definite gleam in his eye, "if you're offering to medicate me just so you can take advantage of me, that's hardly necessary. In fact-" Kathryn threw one of the small pillows he'd left on top of the blankets at Chakotay, who didn't react quite fast enough to keep it from hitting him in the face. He picked it up and put it behind his head, then patted the space on the blankets next to him, the wide smile on his face just a second from opening up into laughter. Kathryn gave him her most matronly disapproving look and crawled into the narrow space he'd left for her, on the side next to the fire she noted. Boy Scout indeed. She settled in right next to Chakotay, not quite touching him, and pulled the blankets up around her. "You're safe." Kathryn didn't acknowledge Chakotay's dry comment. She stared up at the ceiling of the cave, where the flames of their small fire caused the deep shadows around them to dance across the rock in sinuous waves. Safe. She knew the simple truth of that statement. With Chakotay she was as safe as she wanted to be. But deep down a small voice her stubborn nature had long studiously ignored told her that she didn't want to be safe with Chakotay. She hadn't for quite a while- Kathryn attention focused on the ceiling as one of the shadows suddenly began to take a more definitive form. She tensed as a head, an animal's head, with pointed ears and a long, narrow snout took shape. Then it moved ominously closer, and the mouth slowly opened... Idiot. "Did you learn that in Boy Scouts, Chakotay?" Chakotay grinned and moved his hand so that the wolf-like head advanced across the ceiling, its mouth slowly snapping open and closed. "My grandfather taught me when I was a toddler." He tightened his hand into a fist and stuck up his first finger and little finger. "Rabbit." Kathryn rolled her eyes but couldn't keep a small laugh from escaping her lips. She relaxed and stretched her arms up behind her, resting the back of her head on her hands. The rabbit's head hopped across the ceiling. Chakotay smiled at her and she smiled back. "So, Chakotay, tell me about all the good deeds you did as a Boy Scout." --- The Cochrane made it within a hundred kilometers of the survey site when the instruments began to dance erratically. Tom tried briefly to compensate for the magnetic interference but it quickly became apparent that he couldn't keep up with the unpredictable fluctuations. And it would likely get worse if they continued on course. So he turned the shuttle around and backtracked several kilometers until the interference dropped to minimal levels. Then he called New Lourdes. "We're on the edge of the Panarctic Mountains, but there is too much residual magnetic disturbance for us to get to the survey site right now. We're so close that I think Joe and I should spend the night here, and get to the survey site as fast as we can in the morning. Hopefully the residual effects of that magnetic burst will have faded by then." "That is the most workable solution," Tuvok's agreement came through the commlink, his voice slightly wobbly from the static. "We'll keep monitoring the level of the interference. I'll call you if there are any major changes to report." "Very well." "Tuvok?" Tom paused for a moment. "Can you let B'Elanna know that we're fine, and tell her I'll see her tomorrow?" "I will inform her that there is no cause for undue concern." "Thank you, Tuvok." After Tuvok signed off, Tom set the Cochrane down in a small valley at the base of the mountains. The landing lights startled a small herd of the white caribou-like animals, the ones Nicholas Hargrove had first spotted and thus had later been dubbed St. Nick's reindeer, and the frightened animals bounded off into the darkness. "Well, I guess we can be pretty comfortable here for one night," Joe said several minutes later. They had finished securing the Cochrane and set the stationary environmental controls to a comfortable level. "At least we won't get cold." Tom looked up from the front console, where he had just finished verifying the monitor status, and looked out the front viewscreen. It was pitch dark- space dark- beyond the narrow area illuminated by the shuttle's flood lights, and he knew from the outside temperature gauge that it was several degrees below freezing. How much colder would it be a hundred kilometers into those mountains and several thousand meters higher in elevation? "I hope Kathryn and Chakotay found some shelter," Tom murmured, moving toward the back of the shuttle where Joe had pulled out Neelix's culinary offerings and was starting to sort through the bags. "They're pretty competent, Tom," Joe pointed out, as he set out various items on the floor. He, too, would have preferred knowing for sure that Kathryn and Chakotay were safe, but he also knew they had no reason not to presume the best, so he was going to do so. "If our former captain and first officer can't take care of themselves, who can?" Tom dropped into a sitting position next to Joe. He glanced in the thermal container Joe had just opened. The stew Neelix had sent was amazingly still steaming. "I'm sure they'll be fine," Tom said pensively. He watched absently as Joe spooned out the stew into two bowls, then accepted the bowl Joe offered. "I still wish we had been able to get to them, and return to New Lourdes tonight." Joe tasted the stew. "Tuvok would have gotten B'Elanna for you, if you'd asked him." Tom nodded at Joe's perceptive remark and stirred his stew. "I know." If the Cochrane's signal could reach beyond the main receiver in the Meeting hall, then he could have contacted B'Elanna at home. But he hadn't wanted to drag her out into the cold just so he could be comforted by the sound of her voice. And he wasn't sure how comforted she'd be by the sound of his, when he wasn't able to tell her that he'd found Kathryn and Chakotay, and that he was on his way home. Hopefully she'd see it his way and wouldn't be too mad at him. "I'm sure she'll understand." "Am I that transparent?" Tom asked rhetorically, realizing everything he was thinking must be flitting across his face. He spooned some of the stew into his mouth. It was good, but then Neelix was a much better cook planetside than he had ever been on board Voyager. Especially once their stock of leola root had run out. Not surprisingly, no one had offered to bioengineer the last of the leola so it would grow in Aurora's soil. Tom suspected though that Neelix had held some back, perhaps figuring that he would find a way to grow it himself one day. "Tom, are you and B'Elanna okay? This afternoon..." Joe stopped and shook his head. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business." Tom smiled wryly. "Don't worry about it. It's even harder to hide anything on Aurora than it was on Voyager. But B'Elanna and I are fine. She always forgives me, no matter how stupid I act. Go figure." Joe chuckled. "She loves you. And B'Elanna's not the type to take that feeling lightly at all. She certainly didn't come to it lightly." Joe didn't have to say that that fact was well remembered on Aurora. He reached into the bag nearest him and pulled out several bread rolls, offering one to Tom. "Maybe it's the Klingon in her. Or the effect of her unsettled past, but she's definitely a one man woman. And you, Tom, are that man." Tom stared at Joe, wondering what point he was trying to make. "Believe me, Joe, I appreciate being loved by a woman like B'Elanna. I realize my own past reputation doesn't necessarily support this conclusion, but I know what I have in B'Elanna. And I don't take it lightly at all." "I didn't say you did, Tom. I just think you should realize why she's overly sensitive about your cavalier attitude when it comes to your own safety, and your penchant for heroic stunts. She'd never admit it, but it would just about kill her to lose you." Tom's eyes narrowed. "Joe, just when did you become my wife's protector?" Joe shrugged, and set his empty bowl aside. "I like your wife, Tom." "I love my wife, Joe," Tom replied softly, giving Joe a warning glare, though they both knew it was in jest. Joe chuckled. "You're both my friends, Tom. I'm looking forward to seeing you two grow old together." Tom smiled. "And I don't plan to do anything to jeopardize that." Tom finished his own stew and put his bowl down. He looked back at Joe, his expression serious. "I didn't think I'd ever feel this way about someone, but I'm not sure I could live without her anymore. Or without our baby." "You could, Tom. It would just be very hard." Tom saw the haunted expression cross Joe's features briefly before it was gone. Then Joe gave Tom a quick ghost of a smile, and Tom saw the lingering sadness in it. "Joe, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me-" "No, Tom, it wasn't." Joe picked up the carafe of coffee Neelix had sent. "It's been a long time now. I honestly hope she's found someone else, someone who loves her, and is the father to my kids that I can never be. I want that for them more than anything." Tom realized he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose B'Elanna and their child that way. Didn't want to imagine. To know that they were still alive, and to know that he would never see them, or hold them, or be with them. Not ever. He wondered if he'd be unselfish enough to wish that another man was doing it in his place. "You'll still their father, Joe, and you always will be in their memories." Joe poured the coffee into two cups and handed one to Tom. "I suppose. I accept now that they'll never know what happened to me. One day I was there, and the next I was gone forever." He stared at the far wall, unseeing, and Tom knew he was looking inward, remembering. "But maybe they'll tell their children about me, and their grandchildren. And someday, someone will wander out here and find out where we ended up. That we survived, and started a new life. Eventually my grandchildren, or my great grandchildren, or great great grandchildren will find out what happened to me. In a strange kind of way it will be like reuniting with my family, even if I'm long gone." In a strange kind of way, Tom thought. But not the right kind of way. "It's just a question of how many greats," he said, suddenly uncomfortable seeing himself in Joe's shoes, and wanting to lighten Joe's mood. "And who knows, it may happen in our lifetime. There's nothing predictable about anything that's happened to us so far. I'm sure we'd be a statistician's nightmare." Joe smiled. He appreciated Tom's effort to comfort him, when he knew that of all people Tom had gained much more than he'd lost finding himself stranded in the Delta quadrant. "You never know," he agreed. "But in the meantime, I think we need to get back to the present and find something to occupy ourselves for a while. It's a little early to go to sleep." He didn't add that the rare occasions when he allowed himself to remember his lost life in the Alpha quadrant usually adversely affected his ability to sleep. "Ahhh." Tom smiled, and leaned over to open one of the cupboards under the back seats. "Here is the all important Starfleet issue game pack." He pulled out the small box and emptied it's contents on the floor between him and Joe. "The chess set, the holographic Paresee's Squares projector, which is missing it's power pack..." Tom tossed that back in the cupboard. "The Parcheesi board..." Tom looked at Joe. "Who actually plays that?" Joe shrugged. "No one I know." "Backgammon, Dominoes, Scrabble- the Federation Standard version..." Tom looked at Joe again. Joe shook his head. "Now if it was the Galactic Epithets version..." Tom chuckled. "And finally, the deck of cards, complete with the Starfleet logo." "That's it." Tom pulled the cards out of the package and started shuffling them with the agility of an expert. "What's your pleasure, Joe? Seven card stud, five card draw, or maybe a little blackjack?" "You deal, so you choose." "Okay, seven card. Bet?" "Tom, you can't be suggesting we gamble with Starfleet issue cards." Tom grinned. "Feel free to file a protest in the shuttle log, Joe." "I do believe you are incorrigible, Mr. Paris," Joe said, in his best impersonation of Tuvok, making Tom laugh out loud. He glanced around the shuttle thoughtfully. "Okay, for this hand, the dinner dishes. Loser does 'em." Tom offered Joe the cards to cut. "Prepare to get your hands soapy, Joe." Tom said smugly as he started dealing. --- He spoke the words softly, sincerely. To her. "B'Elanna, I take you as my wife, to love you- every beautiful, unpredictable, passionate part of you, to honor you- just as you are, human and Klingon, and to cherish you- every day of my life, because there's nowhere in this universe I'd rather by than by your side." B'Elanna barely heard the soft murmurs around her. Her fingers tightened over Tom's as he spoke, and she pressed his hand against her chest, over her heart. Tom's soft smile deepened and his blue eyes, shining with feeling, locked with hers. She smiled tremulously as the simple sincerity of his words washed over her. She took a deep inward breath and steadied her own voice. "Tom, I take you as my husband, to love you- every rakish, charming, caring part of you, to honor you- and everything you've been past and present that makes you who you are today, and to cherish you- because being with you, always, is what makes my life complete." "Now that you have confirmed your feelings for each other, are you prepared to complete the blood joining?" B'Elanna and Tom's gaze on each other held for a moment. Tom had originally pushed for a full Klingon wedding, but B'Elanna had demurred. Although she was learning to accept her Klingon side, even appreciate the strengths it gave her, her heritage was also half human. And Tom was human, despite his strong attraction to Klingon culture. A full Klingon wedding didn't seem appropriate. So they had compromised by sticking with a human ceremony, and adding one Klingon element, the blood joining. It was one of the simplest variations of the ancient mating rites, one rarely included in modern Klingon ceremonies anymore, but still binding under Klingon customs. B'Elanna turned to Kathryn and nodded. Chakotay stepped slightly forward next to Kathryn and held out a small dagger to B'Elanna. She accepted it with her right hand and turned to Tom, who held out his right hand toward her, palm up. B'Elanna raised the dagger and pressed the tip against the smooth skin of Tom's palm, then quickly made a small cut across the soft flesh. As blood slowly welled up on his palm, Tom took the dagger from her with his left hand and the platinum ring on his finger flashed in the sun. B'Elanna presented her left hand to him, palm up, the matching ring Tom had placed on her finger minutes earlier gleaming brightly. He delivered a small cut across her smooth skin, and as the blood oozed onto her palm, he aimed the dagger toward the ground between them and dropped it, where the tip bit deeply into the dirt and grass and remained there. "jIH dok. My blood." Tom raised his right hand as he spoke and a thin line of blood slid down his wrist to stain the cuff of his white shirt. "jIH dok. My blood." B'Elanna lifted her left hand, then as quickly pressed it against Tom's raised hand. "maj dok. Our blood." Their fingers intertwined tightly and they squeezed their hands together, and their blood, one a deep red, and one with a slightly purplish tinge, mingled into one. "We are joined as one family." "Then as your former captain, I now pronounce you husband and wife, one family. You may now...kiss each other." B'Elanna heard the smile in Kathryn's voice as Tom's lips descended to meet hers. Their hands, still clasped tightly together, dropped to their sides, and their bodies pressed against each other. Tom's other hand came up to cup B'Elanna's jaw, and their kiss deepened. Then they reluctantly pulled away from each other, as the murmurs around them rose to cheers. B'Elanna looked around the square, where familiar faces smiled at her and shouted congratulations. Kathryn, Chakotay, Kes, Harry, Joe, Neelix, Susan, Gerron, the Doc, Tuvok...well, Tuvok simply watched the scene, looking passively amused, in that expressionless way that only a Vulcan could achieve. Tom pulled her close again and hugged her. "You look beautiful in white, by the way," he whispered in her ear. B'Elanna glanced down at her dress. She'd protested against using the limited replicator energy for something so frivolous, but Kathryn had insisted and Chakotay had backed her up. B'Elanna couldn't regret it now. The soft Bolian satin felt sensual against her skin, especially where the heat of Tom's body against hers warmed it. His hand drifted down to touch the barely visible swell of her belly, then wrapped around hers again. "Thank you," she whispered. "You do, too." His white silk shirt was blinding in the bright sunlight, and in stark contrast to the black jacket and pants he was wearing. With his blue eyes sparkling down at her, and his hair, lightened by the summer sun and worn long enough now to fall in soft waves around his face, he looked angelic and innocent. B'Elanna knew and appreciated the delicious irony of those looks better than anyone. And she couldn't resist pressing her lips to the side of his throat under the smooth line of his jaw, letting the tip of her tongue touch the smooth sun heated skin there. Tom's arms convulsively gripped her tighter before loosening as another hand touched her shoulder. "B'Elanna, Tom, congratulations." Chakotay smiled at Tom, then pulled B'Elanna into a bear hug. No sooner did Chakotay release her then several others took his place. Kathryn, Harry, Kes, Joe, Gerron, Megan, and on and on, until B'Elanna lost track of the good wishes. She was glad to be surrounded by friends, by the people who were now nothing less than her family. But what she wanted most was to feel Tom's arms around her again. She turned in the midst of fielding a long winded speech of congratulations from the Doctor, and looked around for Tom. She expected to spot his sunlit fair hair easily, since he stood taller than most of those gathered in the square. But she didn't see him anywhere. She turned back to ask the Doctor if he'd seen Tom, but the Doctor had disappeared into the crowd. B'Elanna pushed roughly past several people before it dawned on her that she didn't recognize them. She didn't know any of them. Which was ridiculous. There was nobody she didn't know on Aurora... "Tom!" B'Elanna suppressed the rising panic in her chest. "Tom Paris!" "He isn't here." B'Elanna stared at the nameless, unrecognizable face in front of her. "Where is he?" The stranger shrugged. "On Voyager, of course. That's where they all are. Looks like they've headed home and left you behind." B'Elanna looked frantically around, her heart pounding. She couldn't see anyone she knew, not Tom, or Kathryn, Chakotay, Harry, the Doc, Tuvok, Kes... No one. She was alone. A pain began to build in B'Elanna's gut, and she crossed her arms over her stomach, holding herself, fighting the agony. She'd been abandoned. The pain began to claw at her, and her fingers dug tightly into the folds of her dress. Her wedding dress... "Tom!" B'Elanna woke up suddenly and jerked into a sitting position, her hands tangled in the folds of her dress, pressed tightly against her belly. Her very large, pregnant belly. She looked around, disoriented for a moment, then a sense of relief washed over her. Her bedroom. She was in her- and Tom's- bedroom. It had been a dream. Only a dream. B'Elanna uttered one of her favorite Klingon curses and slowly loosened her grip on the blankets. A ridiculous dream. A stupid dream. Still, her heart was pounding, and her breathing was uneven. It had seemed so real. Maybe because the wedding, her and Tom's wedding, had been real. Those were memories, wonderful memories. But when the dream became dark, and Tom was gone, when she was suddenly, completely alone, left with just that overwhelming feeling of loss, of abandonment... Stop it, she chided herself silently, furiously. Of course Tom's gone, but he's just somewhere near the Panarctic mountains with Joe, spending the night in the Cochrane. He'll be back. He's fine. Tuvok had stopped by earlier to tell her so in person, assuring her that there was "no cause for undue concern". Then he'd informed her that he would be in the Meeting hall all night monitoring the commlink, in case Kathryn and Chakotay contacted New Lourdes. Or Tom and Joe, though Tuvok didn't say so out loud. B'Elanna had almost offered to wait with him, but knew he would raise an eyebrow and spout off a list of reasons why that would be illogical and unnecessary. She also knew Tuvok saw his own action as nothing outside ordinary diligence, or wouldn't admit to it. So she had just thanked him for coming to tell her personally, and watched him leave. B'Elanna shifted in bed, and pulled the blankets back up over her. The clarity of the dream was already fading, the intensity of the emotions it had elicited dulling. Good. She never had dreams like that, bad dreams, terrifying dreams... A chill overtook her and she clasped her hands together, the fingers of her right hand closing over the ring on her left, and she absently stroked the cool metal. She did wish Tom was here next to her, if only because she had an urge to yell at him for sending Tuvok to tell her where he was instead of insisting on talking to her himself, even though she knew he acted out of concern for her. She just couldn't seem to cure Tom of his overprotective instincts. But she loved him in spite of it, sometimes she was even touched by it. And if nothing else, arguing about it generally led to a make up scene, which made it almost worth it... B'Elanna shifted again, uncomfortably, and told herself to think about something else. Voyager. Why had Voyager entered her dreams? She really didn't think about the ship and its loss much anymore. She wondered if it was because of her strange experience several months ago, that brief time she'd spent in the alternate reality, where Voyager had still existed. Still did exist. That experience had faded into memory, but parts remained clear and vivid in her mind, because, unlike a dream that was only images, it had actually happened. She still hadn't told Tom about the experience, and she wasn't exactly sure why. She'd started to several times, but the moment passed, something came up, another more urgent subject came to mind. And as each day passed it became more unreal, more of something that seemed part of another life, a life no one on Aurora could share. She'd certainly never considered telling anyone else, since losing Voyager here had been a devastating blow to the hopes of so many people, a blow they'd worked hard to overcome. Still, she wasn't sure why she hadn't told Tom... Damn. It was no use. No matter how hard she tried to think about something else, to ignore it, she couldn't. She had to take care of it. She sighed and pushed the blankets away. This was just about the worst part now, she thought, dropping her feet to the floor and gripping the bedside table to help pull herself up. Her other hand rested on her belly, as if that would help balance her against the weight of her advanced pregnancy. She shivered slightly as she reached a standing position. The slight chill of the room went right through the shirt she wore. One of Tom's old flannel shirts, faded blue and soft from repeated washings, that reached nearly to her knees. Thermal pajamas would be more practical, but lately with her restricted range of movement they had become difficult to deal with when she had to answer the demands of the another of the ordeals of her advanced pregnancy- the constant pressure on her bladder. B'Elanna padded quickly toward the bathroom, but before she could cross the threshold she felt a sudden gush of wetness along her thighs. For one horrible moment she thought she just hadn't forced herself to get out of the warm bed quickly enough. Then, with a small leap of her heart, she realized what the warm wetness now running down her legs must be. Her water had broken. Just as that thought hit her, a cramping sensation crawled across her belly, similar to the cramps she had felt several nights ago. But this time she knew without a doubt that it was the real thing. At that moment the intercom beeped. B'Elanna moved back toward the bed and awkwardly reached over to activate the link. "Hello, Doctor." "Ah, B'Elanna. You have had three regular contractions in the space of twenty two point six minutes, the first commencing at 2327. It appears that your labor is beginning." "I know, Doctor. My water just broke." And the sensation was becoming distinctly uncomfortable. Her legs were now wet, and cold. "Ah, good. I want you to come to Sickbay immediately. I'll send Harry and Kes to accompany you." "I can get there myself-" "Kes is on her way. Harry has been in the Meeting hall with Tuvok. He insisted on coming also. Make sure you bundle up, it's cold outside. I'll see you shortly." B'Elanna heard the click of the doctor's comm channel closing and had no chance to utter a protest or any other comment. Not that she really wanted to protest. Several minutes later she was ready to go. She'd cleaned up as well as she could, put on her robe and then her heavy coat and boots. She didn't have much time to think about anything, since Kes and Harry were in her entryway calling her name just as she pulled her coat on. "B'Elanna, are you ready?" Harry asked as she entered the living room. He walked up to her and pulled her coat more tightly closed around her, a gesture reminiscent of Tom. "The doctor is anxiously awaiting your arrival," he added with a quick grin. "I'm ready." She hoped she was ready. B'Elanna met Kes's gaze, and haltingly returned her smile. "It'll be wonderful," Kes said softly, slipping her arm though B'Elanna's. B'Elanna wasn't sure about wonderful. Harry put an arm around her shoulders and led her out the door. The air outside was cold and the wind was biting. But Harry and Kes were gathered so closely to her that most of it didn't reach her. She almost protested their solicitousness as they bustled her down the porch steps, but it was somehow comforting to know that they cared so much. "Look." B'Elanna turned and followed Kes's rapt gaze toward the distant horizon. Beyond the planted fields, along the low edge of the horizon, an aurora was in bright display, its changing hues moving in slow, rhythmic waves, seemingly dancing across the distant hills. B'Elanna stared for a moment, as mesmerized as Kes and Harry, before she remembered that the stunning brightness of the auroral display was the effect of the magnetic activity that had stranded Kathryn and Chakotay. And Tom. It suddenly looked a lot less fascinating. She shivered slightly, and felt Harry tightened his arm around her. "Let's go," Harry said. Before they were halfway down the walkway the commbadge he was wearing beeped. Harry just rolled his eyes at Kes and B'Elanna. "We're on our way, Doc." "Very well. I'm prepared here. Is B'Elanna dressed warmly?" "Yes, she is." "Good. Has she had any further contractions?" "I don't-" "I'm here, Doctor," B'Elanna interrupted Harry. "Can you not talk about me like I'm unconscious. And I haven't-" B'Elanna paused and grimaced slightly. Harry and Kes looked at her with concern, but she just shook her head. "I just had another one." "Ahhh, right on schedule." "We'll be there in a couple of minutes, Doc." Harry sounded a little worried, but Kes just smiled reassuringly at him and squeezed B'Elanna's arm. "No cause for alarm, first babies are notoriously slow. B'Elanna's not going to give birth in the middle of the square." The doctor sounded positively cheerful, which somehow grated on B'Elanna's nerves nearly as much as being talked about in the third person. "It will likely be many hours before that baby is born." Kes caught B'Elanna's irritated look and broke in. "Doctor, we'll be there in a minute. You can prognosticate all you want then." "Fine, fine-" Harry slapped his commbadge and cut the doctor off, hoping B'Elanna wasn't too upset by the doctor's prediction of a long labor. They headed quickly into the square and he did his best to shield B'Elanna from the wind as they crossed toward Sickbay. He reached his arm further around B'Elanna and gripped Kes by the shoulder, equally concerned that she not be buffeted too much by the wind. Kes just smiled at him and huddled closer to B'Elanna. They walked across the square, huddled closely together, and B'Elanna silently, protectively rested her hands on her belly, where her baby was preparing to be born. Her and Tom's baby. She wasn't concerned about the pain, or how long the labor might take. Physical discomfort didn't scare her. Soon enough a new life would be in her arms, a helpless new life. A life waiting to be shaped by all the love, nurturing and guidance she, and Tom, could find in themselves to give. As Harry opened the Sickbay door and they stepped through, B'Elanna wished desperately that Tom was with her. --- Tom held B'Elanna close while they danced, one hand pressed into the small of her back, and the other cradling her neck and teasing the soft strands of her hair. Her slender arms were wrapped loosely around his neck and she rested her head on his shoulder, and the soft release of her breath caressed a spot at the base of his throat. And aroused him incredibly. He wasn't sure how long he could wait before showing her just how much. It was, after all, his wedding day. Tom looked down at his new wife, liking the way that sounded. Wife. Her tanned skin glowed against the stark white satin of her dress, a dress he most definitely appreciated. He loved the way the material clung to her- to her shapely derriere, to the newly generous curve of her breasts, and especially to the gently rounded swell of her stomach, where her pregnancy was just becoming entrancingly evident. She was definitely a vision to behold. Tom ran his hand slowly up her spine, caressing her slightly raised vertebrae beneath the smooth satin, and B'Elanna responded by pressing closer to him and wrapping her arms tighter around his neck. He smiled and hugged her. When he looked up he crossed glances with Harry, who was on the hastily constructed bandstand, playing his clarinet in tune with Mikel Simms on the sax, and Chell on the Bolian lute. They'd played his and B'Elanna's chosen wedding songs and then moved into an eclectic mix of their own choosing. Harry winked at him and Tom winked back. Tom looked around at the rest of the crew- colonists now- who had gathered for the wedding and were now dancing on the grass, or milling around the tables laden with dozens of items of food and drink that Neelix had set up at the end of the square. In the middle of all the food sat the wedding cake, a monstrous mountain of white dripping with purple and green flowers and topped with a rotund pair of Talaxian love sprites, or something of the sort. Neelix had insisted the little creatures would bring good fortune and prosperity to the wedded couple. And fertility, apparently. B'Elanna had been appalled when she'd seen their rather generous- and nakedly displayed- attributes. Tom had just laughed. In fact he could almost laugh now remembering the look on her face... "Something funny, Tom?" B'Elanna asked softly, and Tom looked down to meet her questioning eyes. He realized he must have chuckled out loud. "No," he said softly, reaching up to capture her right hand where it had dropped to rest on his shoulder. He held it palm up, looking at the small cut he had inflicted during the Klingon part of their wedding ceremony. "I was just thinking that I love you very much." He lifted her hand and touched the mark gently with his lips. B'Elanna stared up at him, a small smile lighting up her face. "I know." She curled her hand around his. "But you didn't have to do this to prove it to me." "I wanted to, B'Elanna," Tom said softly. When he'd first brought the subject up, she'd protested that marriage wasn't necessary. He knew she doubted the institution, didn't believe it had any real meaning. It hadn't to her father, who had gone through the whole Klingon ceremony, including the lifetime oath, and still walked out on B'Elanna and her mother. Which, he was sure, was why she'd balked at a Klingon ceremony, and had only reluctantly agreed to the human ceremony and the simple blood joining oath. "I know in many ways it's just words and trappings, but there is something to be said for tradition. And I kind of liked reconfirming our bond to each other, even if it's just a formality. You already know I'm here to stay, no matter what." "We're all here to stay, Tom," B'Elanna said lightly. "You know what I mean." He squeezed her hand, and lightly rubbed his thumb against the smooth metal of the ring he'd put on her finger such a short while ago. "Did you know that in human tradition the happiest day in a woman's life is supposed to be her wedding day? For the man, his wedding day is supposed to be the day his freedom ends, and he gets tied down, as if it's something he should avoid at all costs. But, B'Elanna," he pressed her hand against his cheek, "I want you to know that this is the happiest day of my life." B'Elanna eyes darkened with emotion, and her hand held firmly in his stroked his cheek. "Tom, this is the happiest day of my life, too." Tom smiled and kissed her, their lips gently exploring for several moments. The changing tempo of the music brought them back to reality. He pulled his mouth reluctantly away from hers, but compensated for the loss by wrapping his arms tightly around her and pulling her close. "I'd recite Klingon marriage poetry to you now, but I know how you get." B'Elanna laughed softly against his throat. "Maybe tonight, Tom." "Oh, definitely tonight," Tom whispered against her hair. He slid a hand across her hip and rested it against the slight swell of her stomach. He imagined he could feel the pulse of the small life within her, even though she was just entering her fifth month. The doctor had assured them that soon they really would feel the baby moving inside her, and Tom could hardly wait. He smiled at the thought, hugging her close again, then frowned as he noticed a small red stain on his fingers. Blood, he realized, surprised. Fresh blood. He raised his hand and looked closer, expecting that the small cut he'd received from B'Elanna during the ceremony had reopened. But the cut on his palm was a closed reddish brown line of dried blood. At that moment B'Elanna pulled away from him, and her hands and slid down to grip his shoulders tightly. "Tom-" He caught only a glance of her confused expression as she said his name, he was already looking down at the front of her dress. The stark white satin was marred by several small splotches of bright blood. Red blood, but now he saw the purplish tinge. He stared, stunned into inaction for a moment, until he realized the splotches were spreading, getting larger. "B'Elanna!" Tom met her shocked expression, then watched in horror as her eyes slowly went blank, unseeing. Her strong grip on his shirt loosened, and he barely reacted quickly enough to keep her from sliding through his arms to the ground. And then he saw the blood dripping copiously on the grass at their feet. "Doctor, someone, help!" Tom couldn't keep the rising wail of panic out of his voice as he gathered B'Elanna against him. He looked around frantically, for the doctor, Kes, Tuvok, expecting to see someone rushing over to help B'Elanna, but he couldn't see them in the crowd, he couldn't see anyone. Not anyone he knew. How could that be possible... "Help us!" Tom all but shrieked, terrified now and not caring how he sounded, and unable to comprehend why not one person even turned around. They were gathered around him, talking, laughing, dancing, and looking everywhere but where he stood holding B'Elanna's limp body in his arms. People he didn't know, didn't recognize at all, who didn't hear him screaming as B'Elanna bled to death, as he lost her... "B'Elanna...!" Tom Paris sat straight up, his hands still clutching B'Elanna to him, trying to hold on to her, to keep her from slipping away. It took him several seconds to realize that it wasn't B'Elanna he was holding in a death grip, it was the now twisted blanket that had been over him. He was in the Cochrane, and B'Elanna wasn't even here. She wasn't hurt, she was safe at home. It was just a dream. A very bad dream, but only a dream. Tom took several deep breaths, trying to calm his still pounding heart, and consciously uncurled his fingers from their desperate grip on the blanket. He buried his face in his hands for a moment, then ran his fingers through his damp hair, realizing that he was in a fine sweat. He looked over at Joe's form, huddled in his blanket, still fast asleep. At least he hadn't screamed out loud and made a fool of himself. Tom pushed the blanket completely off him and let the air in the shuttle cool his heated skin. Gods, why would he have a dream like that about B'Elanna? Not that he minded reliving every moment of their wedding day, but that horror vid twist at the end... He shook his head, trying to clear out the images. A lifetime ago, before Voyager, he'd awakened like this, in a cold sweat from a terrifying dream, on more than one occasion. Sometimes with someone next to him, whichever woman had agreed this time to help him forget another day of wasted living by letting him lose himself briefly with her in physical pleasure. But never someone who had any real interest in comforting him or hearing about his nightmares, sleeping or waking. And later, in prison, there had been no one at all, and he had simply shivered alone and tried to banish the images, swallow the fear... B'Elanna. Gods, he wished she was here. Or he was home with her. He rubbed his right hand over his left and twisted the platinum band on his finger. She was fine. Of course, she was fine. It was just a stupid, nonsensical dream. There was nothing to worry about. She was surrounded by friends- family now- just moments away. And Tuvok was in the Meeting hall, keeping vigil. He would have called if anything were wrong. B'Elanna was safe at home, asleep. Tom pulled the blanket up around him again, and as he did he noticed an eerie pinkish light flash along the interior walls of the shuttle. He glanced at the front viewscreen and saw not the deep blackness outside that had descended earlier, but a soft, pulsing diffuse light shining into the shuttle. He hadn't noticed it, but it must have been shining as he woke up from the dream. He stood quickly, dropping the blanket, and walked quietly toward the front of the shuttle. Before he even leaned over the front console to peer out the viewscreen, he realized what it must be. An aurora. And a very spectacular one. Tom watched the shimmering waves of light, in every soft shade of the rainbow from pink to yellow to blue, billow across the sky, high above the horizon. It threw an iridescent glow on the snow capped peaks and lit up the shadowy alpine valley around him. This new home of theirs had no moons, but the light from the brilliant aurora was as bright as the light of a full moon on Earth. Tom watched the aurora for several minutes, mesmerized by the hypnotic waves of undulating light. Finally he turned away reluctantly. Beautiful as it was, it was a reminder of the magnetic activity that had stranded Kathryn and Chakotay, and forced him and Joe to settle here for the night. He looked at the backlit chronometer on the front console. 0016. Not very long after midnight. He'd barely been asleep when that dream had assaulted him. Tom turned away from the front console, fighting the urge to call New Lourdes. He knew Tuvok would answer, would be sitting in the Meeting hall monitoring, waiting. But he also knew Tuvok would call him immediately if there were any problem. And there was no problem. Nothing was wrong. No doubt it was just his natural worry as an expectant father that had brought on the dream, it was hardly a premonition of things to come... Tom snorted at himself for even entertaining that thought, and walked back toward his sleeping pad in the back of the Cochrane. His own psi rating was so low as to be almost non-existent and B'Elanna's was not much higher. As much as he loved B'Elanna, he could be pretty sure it wasn't some psychic connection between them that had brought on those horrifying images. He settled into his makeshift bed and pulled the blanket up over him and his thoughts drifted to a more comforting image. Of B'Elanna, asleep as she always slept, curled up on her side, one hand curved loosely near her face, the other resting protectively over her belly. He wished he was there cuddling her, his arms wrapped securely around her. Instead he lay on his back, alone, staring at the ceiling of the shuttle, watching the soft changing light from the aurora play among the shadows until it slowly dimmed and disappeared, and he fell into a restless sleep. --- She was on Voyager, engines humming beneath her, status monitors beeping and clicking at a level just barely audible to the human ear, her crew moving around her, working diligently, efficiently. Well, of course, where else would she be? Captain Janeway stared out the front viewscreen, at the stars passing by, in elongated streaks of light, the effect of FTL travel- warp speed- as interpreted by the computer for the limited mechanics of the human eye. The stars of the Delta quadrant, passing by one by one, as Voyager drew ever closer to the Alpha quadrant. To home. Janeway watched the passing with a solid sense of satisfaction, of accomplishment. After all, it was her single most pressing goal, to get her crew home. Exploring the expanses they passed through, gathering data on the cultures they briefly visited, the phenomenon they witnessed, recording it all for posterity, in hopes of expanding their knowledge of the galaxy, that was all pursued along the way. But the ultimate goal was to return that knowledge back to the Federation, and to get her crew back home, so they could take up their lives again, and regain everything that had been taken from them. Janeway watched those stars streak by for several minutes, dimly cognizant of the crew activity around her, the subtle background murmur of voices and peripheral perception of movement, but never really focusing on it, on them. She gripped the arms of her captain's chair almost caressingly, feeling the subtle vibration of her ship moving beneath her, humming, breathing, almost alive with purpose. She sighed contentedly and finally turned speak to her first officer. Funny, she smiled to herself, as she looked at Chakotay's empty seat. She had been so engrossed in her thoughts she hadn't even realized he wasn't right beside her. He'd just left to attend to some duty, no doubt. Janeway looked toward the turbolift, her brain processing a moment after that fact that her eyes had encountered no one as she swung her gaze across the bridge. She looked back toward the Ops and Science stations, where Harry Kim and Amanda Lang should be. The section was empty, silent, save the flash of status lights and the low beeping of monitor signals along the consoles. She stared toward the front viewscreen again, where she usually looked past the fair head of Tom Paris, always inwardly aware of his presence at the helm. There was no one there now. But hadn't he just been there, or had she simply not noticed his absence? Janeway rose quickly to her feet, her gaze now taking in the entire bridge, turning to lock on the Security station, where Tuvok was always present. Except now. She was entirely alone on the bridge, which wasn't possible... Janeway slapped her commbadge, unexpectedly reassured by the warbling beep. "Janeway to Chakotay." The several seconds of silence seemed interminable. "Janeway to Tuvok." Janeway's hands clenched. "Janeway to Engineering." She gritted her teeth against the anxiety clutching at her stomach. "Janeway to Sickbay...Janeway to Paris...Janeway to Torres...Janeway to anyone on this ship!" Janeway took a deep breath to quell her rising panic, and tried to focus her thoughts. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay." "Commander Chakotay is not aboard this ship." Dammit. "Computer, locate...never mind! Computer, just tell me how many crewmembers are aboard this ship?" "There is one crewmember aboard, current location is on the bridge." What the hell was going on? She was speechless. Just a few minutes ago, her crew had been here, she had seen them, spoken to...who? They must have been here. Hadn't they been? A slight movement caught Janeway's attention and she turned toward the turbolift, so quickly she banged her shin against her own chair. "Who's there?" No one was there. Just shadows. No, something moved again, near the Science station. This time she saw it. Or him. Some sort of apparition, not quite fully formed. Something, someone, standing in flowing robes. She squinted, unsuccessfully trying to bring him into focus. "Who are you?" The apparition, its depth flickering, waxing and waning like a bad holographic image, made no reply. Janeway advanced several steps. "Where is my crew?" The apparition spoke, and its voice managed to imply perplexity. "They are...home." Home? Ridiculous. "What have you done with them?!" "I have not affected them. They are home and well, on Aurora." Aurora... Aurora. Janeway glanced around the bridge of Voyager, and it hit her. Her ship had been destroyed a year ago. Voyager no longer existed. How could she have forgotten? And why was she on a ship that didn't exist? She looked at the apparition again. "Then why have you brought me here?" "You brought yourself. You dream of being on Voyager, of having your ship back, do you not?" The apparition flickered but the words were clear. "Yes, I..." Janeway paused, glancing around, taking in the stations, the consoles, the panels of monitors and status bars, and the silent, empty seats on the abandoned bridge. "I mean I..." Of course she'd wanted her ship back, she'd wished- daydreamed- numerous times that she was still here, still captaining Voyager, with her crew behind her. "But not just for me, for my crew..." She returned her gaze to the apparition, to protest, and found herself looking at...nothing. The apparition was gone, leaving only empty space. "Wait!" Janeway searched the bridge quickly, but it was nowhere to be seen. "Are you here?" No answer. Well, this was ridiculous. A dream. Right, this was some sort of dream- a nightmare- some psychological mind game she was playing on herself. She stared around the deserted bridge, the silence punctuated only by the beeping and chirping and humming of the ship's systems, and the regular, mechanical sounds drove right into her brain. If this was just a dream- her dream- then why couldn't she control the rising panic that was numbing her limbs, constricting her chest, threatening to explode from her throat. She wasn't alone, someone else must be here. Gods, please, someone... "Chakotay!" Kathryn jerked awake, her heart thumping against her ribcage, her breath coming in small, quick gasps. She was shivering and sweating at the same time. Warmth radiated from one side, but a cold chill hit her from the other. She stared into the shadowy darkness for a moment, fighting her disorientation. The ceiling. Shadows dancing on it. And the warmth, pressed against her back, wrapped around her waist. Chakotay, who was spooned around her, his arm holding her to him loosely. She could feel his even, soft breathing ruffling her hair. Kathryn shifted onto her back, still trying to steady her breathing. Chakotay's arm moved slightly in response and his hand settled softly against her stomach. She was in the cave, on Aurora, with Chakotay, where they had been stranded for the night. Not on Voyager. It had all been a dream. Just a dream. Kathryn sighed in relief, and shivered where the chill of the cave's air touched her. The small fire was burning steadily, but the warmth that came from it wasn't enough to do more than keep the temperature above freezing. She pulled the blanket up around her. She must have kicked it down while she was dreaming. She looked at Chakotay, sleeping soundly under the blanket next to her. She was glad she hadn't wakened him with her restlessness. That she hadn't screamed his name out loud.... The dream. A very unpleasant dream. Kathryn focused on it again, as always convinced that there was a reason, an explanation that she should find. What had it meant? Just another way her mind was telling her that she needed to accept her circumstances on Aurora, start living again as if she meant it and wasn't simply biding time? That she should look past the bad, and embrace what could be good, what was already good... Chakotay shifted slightly and his arm tightened around her waist. As his hand inadvertently pulled her closer, Kathryn almost laughed at the irony of her thoughts. Embrace the good. Here she was virtually in the embrace of one good thing, perhaps the best thing she'd ever been offered, that she had stubbornly pushed away, even while they'd still been on Voyager. She felt a sudden urge to burrow herself deep against Chakotay's warm, solid body, to lose herself completely in him. And why not? Maybe it was about time for her to quit resisting and admit her long denied feelings- Kathryn sat straight up, dislodging Chakotay's arm. She stared across the shadowy confines of the cave toward the small, low entrance. Someone was there. She heard a voice, a whisper, someone speaking to her. Calling to her. Someone from New Lourdes who had come to rescue them? No, somehow she knew it wasn't that. She didn't know how, but she knew she was quite sure... There was someone else on Aurora. She pushed the blanket back, this time barely even noticing the cold air around her. Her eyes were narrowed, watching the entrance closely. A strange glowing light shone through the cave entrance. An eerie, dancing light. She tried to make out the figure standing in that light. She was sure someone was standing there, just outside the cave. Kathryn kicked the rest of the blanket from her, and almost without conscious volition tucked it back around Chakotay. She stood and walked quickly toward the entrance of the cave, right past her heavy thermal jacket and gloves laying next to the small stack of supplies, too entranced by the whispering of the voice that was filling her mind to think clearly. Outside. He was outside, waiting. She had to go outside. --- He'd come to complete awareness slowly, as his slumbering, disassociated mind had sensed her presence suddenly very close, and realized that it was time. He felt the essence of her mind, intertwined with all the others on Aurora, and with his, connected in a way that humans and other individually sentient beings rarely perceived. Their thoughts and senses permeated his, and he worked to separate the threads that entangled his mind with theirs. Some were awake or unresistant, easy to dislodge, some slightly more resistant. And a very few, all in the sleeping state most receptive to the unconscious, fought momentarily to maintain the link, a link they weren't truly aware of. On those he used a small amount of force, in the form of images. Images strong enough to break through the unconscious, to wake them, and end their unknowing resistance. Images that of necessity tapped into the very deepest fear of humans, of all sentient social races, whose tenuous outward connections to each other kept at bay the fear brought about by their inability to truly understand their link with the Universe. The fear of being utterly and completely alone. The last mind he broke through was hers. His mind reclaimed its cohesive state, not easy after years of dispersion, of inactivity. He sensed her awakening, and began to call to her, entreat her to come to him. He still had some control over mental energy, even temporal energy, but physical matter had become impossible for him. So he enticed her to come nearer to him, to where he waited, so that their minds might join, this time in complete awareness. It was time. --- Kathryn ducked through the cave entrance. The air outside was far colder than in the cave, but she barely noticed the freezing bite of the wind that swept right through her thermal layered cotton jumpsuit as if it wasn't there. She stood , staring in wonder at the sky. Huge, brightly waving bands of light billowed across the sky, rising so high she had to crane her neck to see its end. It was so close she felt like she could reach out touch the colors, let them swirl through her fingers and spill over her hands. She almost reached out to try when the whispering voice caught her attention again. She moved several meters past the entrance, fighting the pressing wind, heading toward the rocks, the haphazardly piled formations that jutted up against the towering wall of the mountainside. She knew instinctively that this was where the voice was coming from. Where he was... Kathryn jerked back, stumbling over a small rock jutting out of the snow covered ground, as a large shape loomed over her. Her eyes traveled upwards, surprised at the size of the being. The huge body was covered in thick, coarse yellowish fur, hanging in long tufts from its arms. Its hands were equally furry and tipped with claws. Its face was also covered in fur except for small black eyes and the black pointed snout. It stared at her for a mere moment, then opened its mouth, emitted a low growl, and bared its teeth- which she saw were actually narrow, sharp, wicked looking fangs. Kathryn knew her mouth was also open, if in a far less threatening manner. Several thoughts coursed through her mind at once. The first, the absurd, was the childhood story refrain "My, grandmother, what big teeth you have". A reactionary giggle almost escaped her parted lips, but her mind was also rationally informing her that this was not the possessor of the voice she had heard, the voice that had been insistently, but gently calling her. And at the same time a memory surfaced, of a survey report of these same snowy mountains, highlighting some of the wildlife recorded here. There had been mention of a brief, sketchy scan of a large, upright bear-like animal, that had appeared, then disappeared again, before a more in depth scan could be completed. Tom, or perhaps Nick, had referred to it laughingly as the Abominable Snowman, and they had decided it was either a very rare animal, or perhaps even a false reading, after they hadn't been able to locate it or like creatures again. In the brief couple of seconds it took for those thoughts to flash through her mind and fight for dominance, the creature opened its mouth wider and let loose a much louder, reverberating roar. And Kathryn was faced with the realization that she hadn't thought to pick up one of the phasers before she came outside. But then she hadn't been thinking at all, and now her ungloved hands were so numbed by her brief exposure that she wasn't sure she could grip a weapon if she had one. The voice that had called her out here was ominously silent. She took one step back, but the huge animal was already advancing on her, its hands- paws, her mind corrected automatically- reaching for her, claws extended. Strangely she felt no fear, though the rational part of her mind recognized that she was trapped and about to be mauled- killed- and there was no way for her to escape. Instead she was actually calculating the advisability of screaming, trying to decide in the space of a split second whether it would serve to warn Chakotay of the danger so that he could prepare to protect himself, or whether it would only serve to draw him impulsively outside to a fate as undesirable as hers. As her mind raced, she could only stare, completely transfixed, as the animal descended on her, its huge form blocking out the bright glow of the aurora. A whisper rent the silence, a whisper so loud it hurt her ears. The creature, its claws millimeters from ripping into her shoulders and throat, suddenly jumped back, howling loudly. It fell to its haunches, throwing its head back and forth in confusion, then turned and bounded off, in a strange loping stride somewhere between bipedal and on all fours, into the darkness. Kathryn stared after it into the darkness, shaded and shadowed by the auroral display, too relieved and too stunned to move, until she heard a noise behind her. The whispering sound that had filled her head so loudly a few moments ago was back, but it had dropped to a soft, insistent murmur. She turned and looked toward the rocks, but saw nothing. No. Something, someone, had to be there. She'd heard it, felt it. She took several steps toward the rocks, her movements slowed by the cold that had begun to seep deeply under her skin. She listened once more and heard...nothing. She was shivering violently now as she stopped and hugged herself, her rationality resurfacing. What the hell was she doing out here? What if the voice she was hearing was just the keening of the wind, if the presence she felt was simply her imagination, spinning completely out of control? She'd wandered out here into subzero temperatures, barely escaped being torn apart by a wild animal, and was perilously close to freezing to death. Her teeth were chattering so hard she couldn't give into the urge to laugh out loud at the complete absurdity of her actions. If she wasn't already insane, she must be quickly getting there. She had to get back to the cave... Kathryn's eyes widened as she turned away from the rocks and found herself face to face with the focus of her insane search. She stared at his narrow, fine boned face and gentle, penetrating brown eyes. He wasn't much taller than her, and he looked human, but she couldn't be sure because his features seemed blurred, softened, perhaps partly by age. He was wearing voluminous yellow robes, and Kathryn immediately thought of the indistinct apparition in her dream. But she couldn't tell if this was the same being, the dream had begun to fade already, and she couldn't remember the images clearly. She could barely think clearly... "I have been waiting for you, Kathryn Janeway, for quite a long time." Kathryn's eyes narrowed. He'd spoken to her, she'd heard the words, and yet his lips hadn't moved. Telepathic? "In a sense," he replied, and Kathryn realized he had "heard" her thoughts, read her mind. "My mind is communicating with yours, independent of physical interaction." "You've been waiting..." Kathryn repeated, her mind full of questions, trying to order them in her jumbled mind. "Why are you here? How did you get out here?" "I'm here to see you, Kathryn. And I came in the usual way, usual for me anyway. I unfortunately overshot my goal, thus the wait. Temporal mechanics are not always reliable." Temporal mechanics? "Who are you?" "Ah, the usual first question. I am what you would refer to as a Traveler." "A Traveler?" Here in the Delta quadrant? Kathryn had heard of them, or one of them. "You don't look like one." At least not like the holovid she'd seen. The Traveler smiled, or at least his lips quirked in some fluid motion. "Not the one you are thinking of. We do not all look the same, since we are not one race. We are rather a collection of beings, who started out in different places, and each discovered our latent abilities. We are bound simply by our common desire to explore and understand the fate of the Universe, and every event and every being that affects its course." "And that brought you to Aurora?" Kathryn asked skeptically. How could anything here be worthy of a Traveler's notice, worth his time coming here from...wherever. And he still hadn't completely explained how he got here... "Where is your ship?" The Traveler raised an eyebrow at her sudden eagerness, or at least Kathryn got that quick impression before his face returned to soft repose. "It is gone." "Gone?" Kathryn had been seized with a sudden conviction that the Traveler had come to rescue them from Aurora. To perhaps even return them to the Alpha quadrant, where they belonged. But if his ship was gone, well, then maybe another Traveler was coming to get this one, to get them all off Aurora- "No one is coming, Kathryn. Only me. And I'm not here to rescue you, because you are already where you belong. This is my own final destination also." Kathryn felt a surge of disappointment, then irritation at his vague replies. "Then why exactly have you come here, to see me, so you say? This is hardly the spot where you are going to find answers about the fate of the Universe." "Perhaps not the Universe, that is a never-ending quest. Nor about the immediate fate of this galaxy, since that has already been decided. Partly by what happened here, and that began now, in your time. Your time is a source of endless fascination where I came from." Kathryn couldn't keep up with all of his disjointed answers. She sighed. "Where what began? And just where did you come from?" "In the beginning I came from the same place as you, Kathryn. But more recently- lastly- I came from the future." "The..." "The future." The Traveler's face again took on a fleeting expression of amusement as he completed Kathryn's incredulous echo. "And I've come to here to show you what will be, what you and your descendants will help set on course. The future, where I've come from, over a thousand years from now." A thousand years from now? Was he really implying that this tiny, isolated colony, forced into existence, with barely the means for its own long term survival, would somehow affect the future of the galaxy? "Turn around, Kathryn," the Traveler said, and in one fluid movement his arm indicated the direction behind her, away from the mountain. She turned, and the brightness of the light hurt her eyes, enough so that she had to close them momentarily. She squinted against the heightened glow of the aurora... Only it wasn't the aurora. It was the sun, shining on the scene before her, not the small snowy clearing dropping of the edge of the mountain side, but a large open plain. And spread out on that plain was a city, sprawling in an orderly fashion over several kilometers. It looked like many cities she'd seen, on Earth, in the Federation, even on a few planets in the Delta quadrant. The city of a vibrant, prosperous society, and judging from the wide, open thoroughfares, the clean, pleasing lines of the soaring buildings, and the well tended squares of parkland, a society appreciative of art and beauty. Despite the sense of familiarity, it wasn't a city she remembered visiting. "Where are we?" "Actually, "when are we" would be the better question. This is where I came from most recently. Kathryn, this is New Lourdes, the capital city of the New Galactic Federation, the first such planetary alliance to span the galaxy, on the founding planet Aurora, as it will exist 1054 years from your present time." Kathryn stared, dumbfounded. She could hardly fathom what the Traveler was saying. Perhaps she was actually laying on the ground right now, her body freezing, being slowly buried by the falling snow, and all this was the final, dying ramblings of her mind, of her imagination, ever desperate to find some meaning, some reason for her existence. But as she looked into his brown eyes, fathomless yet soft, she believed him, and she felt a sense of certainty that he really was here with her, in whatever form. That she was with him, as warm and safe as she felt. Maybe she was a little insane- "You are not insane or imagining this, Kathryn. Though you do have quite an internalized flair for the dramatic, despite your relentlessly practical exterior. An interesting character trait. And what you see here is truly what will come to pass." Kathryn followed his gaze toward the city again and uttered a small exclamation. They were no longer removed, looking from a distance at the city- New Lourdes- sprawled across the plain. They were on a wide boulevard within the city, paved with soft duracrete, dotted with trees and fountains, and fronted by tall, block long buildings on both sides. One building was fashioned from what appeared to be a nearly translucent bluish gray marble, and the sign imbedded high above its immense entrance read Galactic Federation Meeting Hall. Or that was her best guess, since the script was similar to Federation Standard, but with small differences. The building on the other side, equally imposing but more open, was fronted with pale blue glass, and the interior was plainly visible, a great hall of several stories with moving walkways and escalators filled with throngs of people. Carved in the soaring letters in the glass were the words "Voyager Historical Center" in the same slightly altered Federation Standard Script. The buildings were fascinating, but it was the people, the mass of beings milling around her on the wide boulevard, walking past her, conversing animatedly, that caught her attention. They came from nearly every species she was familiar with, and many she'd never encountered. Species who had apparently made their way from the other quadrants, like Cardassians, Ferengi, Trill, Andorians, Bolians, Romulans, a humanoid pair who had curiously unfinished faces with a look of damp wax that she took to be Changelings, along with plenty of Humans, Klingons, Vulcans, Bajorans, and several dozen other Alpha quadrant species. Then there were the species right here from the Delta quadrant, the Kazon, Trabe, Vidiians, Ocampa, and Talaxians among those she immediately recognized. And dozens of others that she didn't know, among them a reptilian species, a group of imposing seven foot tall aliens, a pair of with boar-like faces and tusks- She was amazed to see so many mutual enemies, many she would consider her own enemies, apparently coexisting peacefully in one place, but what she saw approaching now sent a still down her spine. The pair who walked toward her she could hardly countenance coexisting peacefully with anyone. Borg. Or at least, partially Borg. They had fewer implants than she'd seen on the Borg, these two appeared to be mostly organic. But they were still Borg, the assimilators of everything... "Nothing remains the same, especially not the Borg. And now Kathryn, let me give you a small lesson in the history of the future." Kathryn merely nodded, still trying to absorb what she was seeing. New Lourdes, the struggling, fledgling colony base of a hundred and fifty people, had become this? "Although you didn't know it, when your ship was destroyed, you were within a few months of crossing into Borg space, had you not ended up here. In your "now", while you are a year into building your small colony and just beginning to establish your permanent presence on Aurora, tucked here out of the way of the larger workings of the galaxy, the Borg are facing a crisis. A new species has entered the galaxy, a species unlike any other the Borg has ever encountered, a species that cannot be assimilated. The war for the galaxy has already begun, a war that will not only bring about the defeat of the Borg, but that will bring every race in the galaxy to its knees." Kathryn shook her head disbelievingly. "That can't be possible-" "It isn't a question of possibilities, Kathryn, it is simply fact. The new species, which the Borg designated Species 8472, a name which other races adopted when they weren't using their own names meaning evil and terror, came to this galaxy with one objective. To eradicate all life here. Happily, they fell short of that goal. But not very short. In due time they will overrun the Borg forces and destroy the great Collective. Only a handful of survivors will be lucky enough to escape and hide in isolated groups from the relentless advance of Species 8472. That advance will continue across the Delta quadrant, and spread through the Beta and Gamma quadrants, finally engulfing the Alpha quadrant. It will take them less than a century to lay waste to the galaxy, leaving millions of burned out planets in their wake, those they don't choose to simply blow completely out of existence." Kathryn shook her head, still unable to accept that this could happen. Was already beginning. That one species could virtually wipe out the entire galaxy- the Borg, the Federation, the Klingon and Romulan Empires, and every great civilization in-between . It couldn't be... "Something will stop them. The future can change- " The Traveler shook his head. "The future already is, just as the past already is. You only perceive it differently because you view time linearly. And something did stop Species 8472, eventually. The invasion itself might have been averted in the beginning, when they first entered the galaxy and their forces were relatively small and contained. But the Borg were no match; for all their might they are not creative thinkers. And there was no one else there to stop Species 8472 before their numbers became uncontrollable, and they spread throughout the galaxy. Word spread also, and the Federation, the Dominion, all the great empires of the other three quadrants knew Species 8472 was coming. They tried to prepare; the Federation and its allies even discovered a weapon, an insidious way to infiltrate and destroy the Species. The Federation fed it to them when they approached the Alpha quadrant, and they fell to it, but as fast as they fell more kept coming and their numbers were nearly insurmountable. Nearly. It took many years for Species 8472 to suffer enough losses to finally give up and flee. But by that time they had left a swath of nearly complete destruction across the galaxy. Only pockets of life were left, where the refugees of thousands of races could hide, that Species 8472 neglected to sweep out earlier, and lost their chance at later. Mere remnants of once great civilizations." "Remnants..." "Yes, amazingly very few races were completely wiped out, most managed to hide a few citizens in remote spots, or send away cloaked refugee ships. Some races, especially in the Alpha quadrant, survived in the many thousands, occasionally even millions." Kathryn was appalled by what the Traveler was saying, yet she clung to that fact- that some survived- would survive. The people anyway. Their homes... she didn't have the nerve to ask about Earth. Or Vulcan. Or Qo'noS. Or any of the thousands- millions- of home planets of the galaxy, that had evolved over billions of years to cradle the billions of lives that had called them home. "By the time of this city," the Traveler indicated their surroundings, which Kathryn had almost ceased to notice, "many of the planets you think of have begun to rebuild, which in most cases means completely terraforming dead landscapes. Those that still had planets, and were able to acquire the necessary resources and population." The Traveler didn't elaborate with further specifics, and Kathryn didn't have the heart to press the issue. She didn't want to know, didn't want to accept this future- It shouldn't be. Something, someone could have stopped this- could still stop it. "Where were you? Why didn't- don't- you help? Or others, like the Q..." The Traveler didn't appear to take offense at Kathryn's accusatory tone. "The Q Continuum, and the other advanced and non-corporeal races in the galaxy, who exist in a reality in most ways separate from the galaxy itself, were as always bound by their own rules of non-interference, and by other limitations imposed by the Universe itself. As Travelers, we had more freedom to interact, yet we are not a fighting force. Our greatest abilities lie in the mental and temporal realm, not in affecting physical altercations. We assisted where we could, in small ways, to help some escape, and to hide. We could only guide, and where possible give a small push in the right direction. Sometimes that direction was toward Aurora." Silence reigned between them for several moments, then Kathryn asked quietly, "How exactly does Aurora fit into all this?" "Aurora was, or will be, the first great refuge, some even called it Sanctuary. You have to realize the magnitude of the destruction wrought by Species 8472. Hardly a livable planetary system was left untouched. Most of what was left behind after they departed barely supported the most marginal of existence. But Aurora was one of the few planets that survived unscathed, a lush planet capable of fully supporting many billions of lives comfortably. A planet with a fledgling society already in progress. A society that was eager to grow and prosper, and openly welcoming of new arrivals." "Out of the entire galaxy only Aurora was- will be- left to do this?" "Aurora was best positioned, by its location and quite honestly, by its people. You and your fellow colonists. And all your many descendants, of course. You may feel alone now, Kathryn, but you will not be for long. Your own children, their children, and eventually the first wave of refugees, those of the Delta quadrant, will arrive and begin to spread across Aurora. Later, more refugees will come, from the Alpha quadrant, then in a slow, steady stream from all over the galaxy. Most on small ships, escapees from their war torn homes, sent away by the many who stayed behind and sacrificed their lives to ensure the survival of a few. They will hear of Aurora, through secured channels, through gossip, through secret communiqués, through rumor, and they will come. Some eventually will bring news of the disappearance of Species 8472, and some will return to their old homes to reclaim and rebuild. But most who come here, welcomed by you and later your descendants, and by all the former refugees who have made a home on Aurora, will stay. Stay together, former allies and enemies, and work to shape this planet into a paradise in a devastated galaxy, a home for nearly 10 billion beings from thousands of different species. And their cooperation here, the shared scientific and cultural knowledge of so many disparate beings, will be disseminated throughout the quadrants and lead the effort to restore the galaxy. Not to its former glory, even in the time of this great city that hasn't come to pass, but to a sense of comfort and stability unknown for hundreds of years after the destruction wrought by Species 8472. So it is hardly any wonder that I recently, in this city of the distant future, watched the charter of the New Galactic Federation ratified, and saw Aurora, already the heart of the galactic rebirth, and the home of the first truly galactic society, become the official headquarters for the galaxy also." "And you came here to tell me this?" Kathryn asked softly. "That I- that we- have some sort of destiny to save the galaxy?" "Destiny is a human concept. Nothing must happen, this is simply what will happen. Every being acts in accordance with its nature, dependent on circumstances. Had one moment of circumstance been different, for instance had your ship not been destroyed, then everything else would have been different in some way also. But that is the unknown, the realm of alternate realities if you will. The future here is set, much as the past is set. I realize this is a confusing concept-" "I should have a headache about now," Kathryn said wryly, wondering that she didn't. She sighed. "What about your presence here? Aren't you changing the circumstances?" "No. I am here now because when I will be on Aurora in the future I will find out that I was already here in the past so I will come back-" "Stop." Kathryn shook her head. "Don't say any more." The Traveler smiled. "To put it more simply, you brought me here, Kathryn. Your journals told me that I was here." "What?" "Your journals. The originals are still housed in a protected case in that building," the Traveler nodded toward the soaring blue glass of the Voyager Historical Center. "They are not quite as steamy as the Paris journals, or as amusing as the Neelix journals, but they are still perennial bestsellers, as are all the founding journals, one hundred thirty five in all I believe." Kathryn shook her head. Personal logs became such a habit for those in Starfleet, for some simply a way to recount events, for others a substitute counselor offering a way to explore their thoughts and feelings in a private forum. Arriving on Aurora hadn't broken that habit for most, though she had never dreamed of others reading them a thousand years from now. "My journals..." "Yes. The entry called that called me here, if not in exact words, was clear enough." Kathryn pondered that for a moment. "Then I will remember this...experience with you? Even though you say you're not here to influence me, or change the future?" "You will remember what is important. And whatever influence I have on you now is simply part of what already is, what started here. It does not change the future, it simply feeds into the future that already exists." Kathryn shook her head, feeling disoriented by his circular reasoning, and then by the realization that their surroundings had abruptly changed again. The buildings, the people, were gone. They were back among the rocks, standing in the windblown snow with the mountainside rising behind them, and the darkness in front of them broken by the bright auroral display. "It is time for me to leave, Kathryn. And time for you to resume your life. All of it. Even the smallest of actions, the most humble of existences, have repercussions on the Universe, sometimes disproportionately so." "Where will you go?" Kathryn asked softly, even though she thought she knew the answer. If this was his final destination... "I'm already gone, in every sense but one. Only this part of me remained to wait for you. I've returned where I came from- truly and originally- as we all eventually do. " She sensed he was already fading, becoming truly...gone. "You never told me if you have a name." "I had a name once, when I was like you. Not long before your time, but very long ago from my time. You might even recognize it." A fleeting, wistful smile crossed his now ghostly features. "It ceased to matter when I became a Traveler. A name was no longer necessary, my essence alone delineated me, for as long as I chose to exist in part separate from the Universe. Now that is no matter either." His form was barely visible now. "Goodbye, Kathryn. Live your life, but for now, not for the future. That will take care of itself." Where he had been, there were now only sharp edges of rocks, and flurries of snow passing across her vision. Kathryn instinctively reached out a hand, and touched only snowflakes. She watched the snow melt on her hand, and she felt a sense of lassitude creep over her, a deep warmth that spread quickly through her limbs. Her mind seemed to retreat, and from a distance she felt herself curl up, warm and secure, and her thoughts began to drift. To her life, what it would be...to her children... --- Chakotay woke with a start. He'd been dreaming. He'd been home with Kathryn, at her home in New Lourdes, filled with her things, but filled with his, too. Their home. He'd been holding her, cuddling her, smiling, and laughing. Talking about the future, about the baby that was coming. Their baby. Then in the next moment she'd been gone. Somehow, while he hadn't noticed, she'd disappeared. She'd left the safety of his arms, of their arms around each other. Now she was outside somewhere. It was imperative that he find her, bring her back. He needed her, and she needed him. They had a life to live, together. Find her, a voice was repeating insistently, echoing around him. Find her. NOW. Chakotay shook away the vestiges of the dream, the threads of images that had crawled through his mind in the space of a second. And even as he reached for her, he knew they weren't together, that she wasn't here, that it was just a dream... Chakotay stood up in one swift movement, dislodging the blankets that had been covering him. Complete lucidity returned with a resounding slap. He stared down at the sleeping pad, at the rumpled blankets, at the emptiness. She wasn't here. His eyes scanned the cave in one quick movement. The small fire burned steadily, throwing shadows across the ceiling and into the crevices. He picked up the lantern and switched it on, just to be sure. She wasn't in the cave. But her thermal jacket and gloves were lying untouched next to his. Chakotay strode toward the entrance of the cave, pausing just long enough in mid stride to grab her jacket and his. He shucked his on quickly, dropped hers in the process, then retrieved it again. He nearly banged his head against rock as he ducked his large frame through the small entrance. And again when a gust of icy wind took him by surprise and nearly knocked him back against the rocky ledge behind him. He registered the radiant presence of the aurora filling the sky just enough to be grateful that it was shedding even dim light on the snowy ground. He swung the lamp to further illuminate his immediate surroundings. Gods, where had she gone, and why? Chakotay peered through the falling snow, light but stinging from the strong wind, and pushed against that wind toward the outcropping of rocks along the mountainside. He couldn't say why he chose that direction, only that something pressed him to do so, and he'd never questioned an unknown voice in his head guiding him, spirit or otherwise. He looked frantically for any clue, and had only gone several meters when he stopped in midstride. There were prints on the snowy ground, surely only minutes old, since they hadn't been obliterated yet by the falling snow. Huge prints, those of a large, heavy animal, narrow at the heel and wider at the front where they ended in claws. Chakotay stared at the deep punctures made by the points of those claws, remembering a survey report from several months ago mentioning a huge bear-like animal in these mountains, though the gathered evidence had been sketchy, perhaps even invalid- Chakotay followed the prints quickly, all too aware of how valid that report was now, and what it might mean. He'd gone only a few dozen steps when he came upon her, curled up on the ground in the path of those prints. He dropped to his knees, his heart pounding into his throat, as unaware of the cold now as she was. Her thick jumpsuit was not damaged, and he saw no evidence of a mauling, no sign of blood. He pressed his fingers against her throat just below her jawline and after an endless moment was rewarded by the feel of her pulse. It was faint, so very faint against the icy dampness of her skin. Chakotay gathered her quickly into his arms, alarmed by the whiteness of her face, so pale it was almost translucent. An icy thin layer of snow already clung to her clothing, and he quickly draped her jacket over her face and arms to protect her from any more exposure. He pressed her tightly against him as he stumbled toward the cave, unencumbered by her slight weight, especially with the adrenaline coursing through his veins almost to the point of pain, but almost unbalanced by the pressing wind. He squeezed through the cave entrance with her still in his arms, this time scraping his head against the rock but barely noticing, and lowered her to the ground next to the fire, praying that it wasn't too late. He had her clothes off in less than a minute. The jumpsuit was wet on the outside and icy cold through all three layers, its insulation taxed by the extreme conditions. He left the clothing discarded next to the fire, and reached into the medikit for the hypo. It took him several seconds to find the right vials, then he quickly loaded the hypo and pressed it against the skin at the base of her throat- twice- first with a combination triox and cardiovascular stimulant to fight hypothermia by getting oxygen into her system and increasing her blood flow, then with a dermal vascular analeptic to reverse the potential advance of frostbite. He was pretty sure she couldn't have been outside for more than a few minutes, or nothing he could have done would have helped her. Chakotay tossed the hypo back into the medikit and stripped down to his briefs. The cold hadn't reached him through his clothing, but now the chill in the cave that the small fire couldn't quite conquer hit him. He lifted Kathryn and gently laid her on the sleeping pad on the other side of the fire. Then he folded himself down next to her and gathered her into his arms, pulling the blankets up over both of them. Her skin was still icy, but within moments she began to shiver, first intermittently, then violently. He pulled her tighter against him and held her for several minutes while she shook, her skin flush against his, her face buried against his chest, his legs wound tightly around hers so he could pass as much of his body heat to her as possible. Finally her shivering began to subside some and she moaned incoherently. "Kathryn," Chakotay prodded gently, hoping she was regaining consciousness. The only response for another minute of two were several small moans. He knew it hurt to the bones for her body to warm from hypothermia so quickly, but he hadn't had much choice. She'd been half dead already. "Kathyrn?" "Chakotay?" His name came hoarsely from her bluish lips as she dropped her head back slightly. He knew she was still semi-conscious and not completely coherent, but he couldn't help himself. He kissed her, moving his lips gently along her parted ones, slowly taking the chill from them. Another soft moan issued from her throat, and though Chakotay didn't think it was a protest, he pulled back. Her eyes opened and her eyes were unfocused as she looked at him. "Kathryn, do you know where you are?" he asked softly, pushing her hair back off her face and glad to see that her skin, though still cool to the touch, had begun to regain some color. "Hmmm..." Kathryn's eyes slowly became more aware. "Aurora..." she murmured. "Yes. We're in a cave in the Panarctic Mountains. We got stranded when a magnetic surge knocked the Aerowing's instruments off-line." Kathryn nodded slowly, her brow creased as if she was trying to remember. "Yes..." "Kathryn, I woke up and you were gone. You went outside, without your jacket or gloves. I found you out there, half frozen-" She was looking at him in confusion, then her face suddenly cleared, and she wasn't looking at him at all. She was somewhere else. "I went outside. I remember. I had to go..." "Kathryn, what the hell were you thinking?!" Chakotay hadn't meant to almost shout right in her face, or grip her shoulders and practically shake her. But the stress of the last few minutes, the shock when he'd found her gone, and the fear that he'd lost her, all hit him at once and erupted into a burst of anger. Kathryn looked at him, surprise on her face, and he felt her tense slightly. He knew that she'd finally become completely aware of exactly where she was. Not just on Aurora, in the cave, but pressed closely against him, completely naked. But she didn't pull back. Instead her expression softened, then she pressed her hand lightly against his chest and her fingers slid along his collarbone in a soothing, caressing motion as if she was trying to comfort him. Then her eyes took on a faraway look again. He suspected she was barely aware of what she was doing, but that didn't keep him from feeling a definite reaction to her hand stroking his skin. She was driving him nuts, intentionally or not. "Kathryn..." Kathryn was completely aware of her position, in Chakotay's arms, still shivering and chilled, but slowly warming from the heat of his skin pressing against hers, his leg crooked around hers, holding her close against him, his body surrounding her. She didn't mind it at all. She'd recognized the anger in his voice, the frustration, and knew it was out of fear for her. Love for her. So she stroked his chest lightly, soothingly, and felt the grip on her shoulders loosen, felt the anger slowly recede from him. She hadn't meant to scare him, but he didn't know what she had experienced, what she had seen.... "Chakotay." She whispered his name, her eyes burning into his with fevered intensity, her face animated. "Someone else is here. Was here. A Traveler. He's been waiting here, for me. He told me..." she shook her head, trying to order her thoughts, remember it all. "He showed me what will happen, why we're here. Well, not why we're here, as in destiny. But what will happen because we ended up here-" "Kathyrn, stop." Chakotay's pressed a hand against her cheek, and his thumb touched her lips, stopping her in mid sentence. "Take it slower, okay?" She nodded. "You went outside to meet a...Traveler?" "Yes, I woke up and he was calling me. Not my name, not in words exactly. He was just...in my mind. He wanted me to come outside-" "You had a vision," Chakotay stated, his voice reflecting his surprise. Kathryn wasn't deeply receptive to the idea of visions, and this one had almost killed her, but what else could it be? Kathryn shook her head vehemently against his hand, which was stroking her face now, soothingly. "No. It wasn't a vision, Chakotay. It was real. He was really here. He spoke to me, telepathically, I guess. Through his mind. He showed me...the future." "The future?" Chakotay tried to keep any disbelief out of his voice, though he wasn't sure what to think right now. He pulled her tighter against him as she shivered again. "Couldn't he have come inside the cave to...talk to you, instead of dragging you outside to nearly freeze to death?" "I don't know." Kathryn frowned again. "He was waiting for me by the rocks, where his ship landed, I think. But the ship's gone now. And he needed me to come to him for some reason." She shook her head. "Chakotay, it really doesn't matter." He begged to differ, but he didn't say so, didn't have a chance before she continued. "He showed me New Lourdes. Not now, not our small village. But New Lourdes the city, as it will be. It was immense. And there were so many people, so many races, I can't remember them all." Kathryn stopped abruptly and her brow furrowed, and Chakotay could tell she was having difficulty recalling the specifics of what she'd seen. Visions were sometimes like that, assuming that's what this was, and Kathryn wasn't given to hallucinations. "The Borg..." Chakotay's brow rose at that murmured name, and he misunderstood the reference. "Kathryn, I don't think we have to be afraid of the Borg. I'm sure they passed by this area some time ago, and given our technological level right now I doubt they'd even notice-" "No, Chakotay, we don't have to be afraid of the Borg," Kathryn said with complete assurance. "I think they will be our allies in the future. Allies against something much worse..." "Worse than the Borg?" Chakotay asked incredulously. "Yes." Kathryn was silent for a moment, and her face, previously so animated, took on a look of sorrow. "Kathryn..." Chakotay saw the haunted look in her eyes, and his hand stroked her jawline, wanting to comfort her. He resisted the urge to kiss her, to chase away whatever had disturbed her so. Kathryn reached up and rested her hand over his. "It will be bad, Chakotay, very bad, I think." She turned her face and kissed his palm, trying to comfort him again and sending another shiver of sensation through Chakotay's body. Then she smiled gently. "But in the end we will still be here, Aurora will still be here. And what we build here, it will help save the galaxy." Chakotay stared at her, silenced by her words. Save the galaxy? "I know it seems unbelievable, Chakotay," Kathryn continued. She shifted suddenly toward her stomach, and looked down at him intently, raptly. "But Aurora is going to become home for a lot of people some day. Billions. What we build here will mean something. A home for us, and for our children, of course. But later, for many, many others from throughout the galaxy." Chakotay placed a hand on her shoulder, and resisted dropping it further. Her skin had a soft glow to it now, she was definitely warming up. And so was he. She had shifted until she was all but laying on top of him, one arm resting on his chest as she smiled down at him, her hair spilling softly around her face, and her breasts pressed against him. And she was still so caught up in what she was saying, he didn't think she had any idea what she was doing to him. He wanted to say something, but he was afraid it would simply come out as a strangled groan. "I'm not sure you entirely believe me, Chakotay," Kathryn said softly. "It's a little hard for me to think-" She pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I know I'm being vague, and I can't remember the specifics completely. But I know it was real, will be real. And I know we have a lot of work to do here, a new home to build, new lives to build, and we've barely started." She shifted again, and her leg slid between his. "Kathryn!" Chakotay's voice came out as a croak. It was definitely time to make it clear what she was doing to him. But he didn't get the chance, because she shifted again, this time sliding up against him until her face was directly over his and her body was entirely on top of his, straddling his. He only had a second to wonder what the hell she was doing, to realize that she knew exactly what she was doing, before she placed her hands on either side of his face and brought her mouth down on his. And in another second his arms wrapped tightly around her, crushing her against him, and their mouths plundered each other's, as if they had waited forever for this moment. And he knew he had. It was several minutes before either of them had the inclination to pull their lips away from each other, and then only because they were desperately out of air. Kathryn's head dropped to Chakotay's shoulder and silky strands of her hair fluttered across his face, tickling him. He felt her take several deep, shuddering breaths, and his own chest was rising and falling rapidly. His body was protesting now, not from the feel of her small weight on him- that he savored. But the need for her building in him was almost painful now, and he knew she could certainly feel it. It was all he could do not to simply take her. Kathryn raised her head and smiled tremulously at him. "Chakotay, I'm sorry." Sorry? "Kathryn-" "No," She pressed her hand to his lips, as softly swollen as hers. "Let me finish. I am sorry, sorry that it took so long for me to come to terms with all of this. With Aurora, and with us. I know how incredibly stubborn I've been-" "Kathryn, stubborn is your middle name." He smiled as he said it and raised a hand to push her hair still trailing across his face behind her ear. "I happen to like that about you." He shifted slightly under her and groaned softly. "Sometimes." A fleeting smile crossed Kathryn's face, then her expression changed as she stared down at him. "Chakotay, I love you." Her breath rifled softly across his mouth as she spoke in a soft, tremulous whisper. He heard the words, he reveled in the words, but mostly he was enraptured by the look on her face. It was the look he'd never seen before, but knew so well, and had waited for so long- this rich, full, joyous look shining in her eyes. He'd caught the glimpses of tenderness, sometimes even longing, always quickly shuttered, but enough for him to keep hoping, keep believing that he would one day see more. To encourage him to be patient, waiting for her to accept it, and to believe, too. Now the look seared him, burning deeply into his soul. The look was pure, unadulterated, uncensored love. He shuddered slightly as his hands tangled in her hair and his lips touched hers softly. "God, Kathryn, I love you," he whispered. "So much." His lips trailed soft kisses across her face. "Completely." His hands slid down the soft curves of her body and cupped her derriere. "Desperately." Kathryn laughed softly against his mouth. "I know." Her own hand slid down the flat plane of his stomach and across the rise of his hip, until her fingers touched his briefs and slipped beneath the edge of the waistband. "I know." Her soft, husky voice resonated in his soul, and everywhere their hands, their mouths and their bodies began to urgently, reverently, explore each other. They moved together, no longer aware of the cold outside the blankets that covered them, or past the heat generated by their bodies. And for several hours nothing in the Universe, past or present or future, existed outside the warmth of their finally acknowledged love. --- The early morning sun illuminated New Lourdes, the small village of the fledgling colony of Aurora. The clouds of the previous day were gone, but the air remained chilly and the rays of the barely risen sun were little match for the icy sheen of frost that covered the buildings and walkways in a fine film, and glittered off the green grass and trees like millions of miniature diamonds. Little of the regular daily activity had yet begun, but there was no one who wasn't awake and aware of Tuvok awaiting word from Kathryn and Chakotay in the Meeting hall, or that right now in the Sickbay the birth of the first true child of Aurora was about to take place. In the Sickbay, B'Elanna sat on one of the diagnostic beds resting against the barely functional pillow, arms crossed, and looking frustrated. The doctor stood nearby, checking the monitors. Kes sat on a chair next to the bed, serene and composed as usual, though she'd stayed up all night with B'Elanna and the doctor. B'Elanna appreciated the gesture from Kes, though she felt guilty that it had been for nothing so far. Klingon women generally had swift, uncomplicated labors, but it seemed the doctor was right. She was following a more human pattern, which probably stood to reason, since her reproductive system was one of the few in her body that was more genetically human than Klingon. She'd found that out from the ease of the conception itself. Still, why was it taking this long? "Everything looks relatively normal," the doctor said, turning back to B'Elanna. "Your contractions are still nearly ten minutes apart, and your dilation is holding at two centimeters. Something brought your labor on before your baby was completely in position. The cause may very well have been the fall you took, which you saw no need to inform me of-" "Doctor!" B'Elanna groaned. This was about the tenth time the doctor had brought that up since Harry had mentioned it shortly after they'd arrived in the Sickbay. Harry had left shortly thereafter on the pretext of keeping Tuvok company, but B'Elanna was sure he just wanted to avoid the pyrotechnics that had ensued between her and the doctor. And that weren't over yet. "I wasn't hurt! The baby wasn't hurt! And the monitor didn't-" "Yes, yes, it didn't activate," the doctor said dismissively. Then he glared at B'Elanna. "And you know full well you should have told me anyway." "Fine!" B'Elanna snapped. "Fine. How many times do I have to say I should have told you-" She paused and winced as another contraction hit her. They weren't particularly painful, but they did divert her attention for a moment. Kes rested a light hand on her shoulder in support, and though B'Elanna had told her it wasn't necessary, she didn't protest. "Yes, you should have," the doctor agreed smugly. "The baby wasn't quite ready to be born yet, and you're lucky I was able to move the baby into the correct position, despite the lack of amenities I was used to on Voyager. A transverse position would have meant a Cesarean section. It still may be advisable to induce you into active labor if you don't progress soon. That does have the undesirable side effect of making the labor harder for the mother, but I can certainly ease the discomfort." "That's not necessary, Doctor," B'Elanna said curtly. The contraction had passed. "I don't need any special treatment." The doctor rolled his eyes. "Right, you're half Klingon." He turned to check the monitor again. "A race of masochists," he muttered under his breath, but loud enough that both Kes and B'Elanna heard him. "Doctor..." Kes said reprovingly. The doctor adjusted one of the indicators on the monitor, still muttering to himself. "The baby could be in distress, and she'd still fight everything I tried to do-" B'Elanna only caught a couple of the words the doctor uttered, but they were enough for her to sit up abruptly. "B'Elanna?" Kes dropped a hand on B'Elanna's arm, alarmed. "Doctor!" The doctor turned around. "What do you think you are doing?" he asked as B'Elanna shook off Kes's hand. "I don't want you out of that bed right now. You've already paced my Sickbay for the better part of the past eight hours, and now I want you to rest!" "The baby..." The doctor stared at B'Elanna, realizing belatedly that she didn't look mutinous or stubborn, but dismayed. "What's wrong?" he asked quickly, moving to her side and automatically falling on the age old method of pressing his hand against her womb, as if he might feel something out of the ordinary. He glanced at the monitors at the same time. "Everything should be normal..." "The baby's not in distress?" B'Elanna asked anxiously. The doctor looked at her, his brow wrinkled in perplexity. "Why would the baby- oh." He finally realized what she was getting at, and felt Kes looking at him reprovingly at the same time. His voice softened. "No, B'Elanna, the baby is fine. I was speaking hypothet- Never mind. The baby is perfectly healthy and will stay that way. If there is any indication of distress whatsoever, I will inform you immediately, and loudly. I think you know that." The doctor raised an eyebrow meaningfully, and B'Elanna almost cracked a smile. Then she sighed and her expression become somber. "Doctor, I know I make a very annoying patient-" "Not as annoying as your husband, but, yes." "And your bedside manner isn't all it could be..." The doctor managed to look highly affronted and uttered a small "hmmph" of protest. Kes hid a small smile. "But I want to be clear. No matter what, the baby comes first. I trust you to do what's best for the baby, even if you have to hit me over the head to get through to me." The doctor looked at B'Elanna's grave expression for a long moment, then closed his hand over hers. "And I trust you know that I won't let anything happen to your baby. Or to you." He met her gaze for a moment, then cleared his throat gruffly. "Why don't we make a pact. You can have this baby how you want, completely naturally if that is your choice. The baby certainly won't protest. And I will only offer advice if it is in the best interest of the baby, and if it also happens to be beneficial to you, then I expect you to do what I suggest anyway. Agreed?" B'Elanna nodded. "Agreed." "Good. My first piece of advice is for you to stay in this bed right now and rest. And if your labor does not begin progressing soon I may start a mild induction process, but we can worry about that in a little while-" The intercom beeped before the doctor could finish. "Yes?" "Good morning, Doctor," Tuvok's voice came over the intercom. "I am expecting Tom and Joe to contact me shortly, and I wished to know what to report regarding the impending birth." The doctor looked at B'Elanna, who frowned back at him. "I suppose you don't want Tom to know what's going on right now?" "No. Tuvok, please don't say anything about this to Tom right now. It's more important that he find Kathryn and Chakotay, and there's no reason to distract him when there's nothing he can do about it." "I can...neglect to mention it." Tuvok sounded mildly disapproving. "I don't want him to worry about me, and he would. It's not like I'm sick or something. I'm just having a baby." "Indeed. It is a simple biological process, yet humans often endow it with great drama and excess emotion. I applaud your dispassionate approach." B'Elanna thought for a moment that he was being sarcastic, but this was Tuvok, who always said what he meant. She wasn't sure which annoyed her more. "I can handle this." "I meant to imply nothing different." B'Elanna sighed. "Fine." She hesitated for a moment and raised a hand as the doctor started to speak. "Tuvok....once they find Kathryn and Chakotay, and they're safely on their way back, then can you tell Tom what's going on? I mean, just tell him the baby's coming, and that everything's fine. That we're both fine. And that he's going to be a father." "Very well. I expect Tom will be most gratified to hear the news," Tuvok said. "Thank you, Tuvok," B'Elanna said softly. There was a mere moment's hesitation. "You are welcome, B'Elanna." Kes looked at B'Elanna as Tuvok signed off and smiled. "Did you know that upon the birth of a child Vulcan families gather together, all those near enough to come- grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins- and they initiate a mind meld as the birth is happening, to welcome the child into their world?" The doctor snorted. "That is rather a lot of trouble to go to over a simple biological process. Makes you wonder what they do when they all get together for dinner." Kes laughed softly. "How did you find out about that?" B'Elanna asked, unable to keep a smile off her face either. "It's in the database," Kes said simply. She pressed a hand again to B'Elanna's shoulder and B'Elanna flinched slightly. The doctor watched Kes rub B'Elanna's shoulder as another contraction occurred. She'd seemed to know it was coming before B'Elanna did, but that didn't really surprise him. And B'Elanna accepted Kes's ministrations easily. But Kes was endowed with endless patience and even B'Elanna found it hard to refuse her. And perhaps she felt closer to Kes because of the Ocampan's own advancing pregnancy. The doctor glanced at the monitor as B'Elanna visibly relaxed. "Ah, good," he said after a moment's study. "Nine minutes, twelve seconds. And you have dilated an additional quarter of a centimeter. I believe we are actually making progress after all." B'Elanna gave him a relieved nod, indicating that she was more than ready. She looked alert and prepared, despite the fact that she'd had virtually no sleep. But the doctor knew that the next several hours would be an exhaustive process for B'Elanna, despite the strength endowed by her Klingon heritage. He'd put out the word early on that he didn't want his Sickbay cluttered with a bunch of nosy well wishers, who would be underfoot and irritating to his routine, not to mention probably abrasive to B'Elanna's unpredictable temper. But he would have gladly put up with the presence of Tom Paris right now, underfoot or not. If Tom didn't make it back in time, then the doctor would just hold B'Elanna's hand himself if she needed it. After all, he was a hologram, so no amount of effort on her part was going to break his bones. --- "I think we've got everything. Let's go." Kathryn and Chakotay stepped outside the cold comfort of the cave and into the freezing discomfort of the weather outside. There were immediately a few positives to note. The snowfall had ended, and the sky was mostly clear. Best of all the wind had died down to near stillness. But it was still easily -20 C, and the cold assaulted them. The sun had barely risen, a good three hours later than in New Lourdes at this higher latitude, and it shed no warmth at all. Chakotay wrapped an arm around Kathryn, and felt her arm slide around his waist. The Aerowing was a five minute walk, hardly arduous, but he knew it would be no warmer inside than it was out here. Luckily Kathryn's clothes had dried, since he'd left them near enough to the fire to burn if they hadn't been chemically flame retardant. They'd be cold until they could get the environmental control back on-line, but they'd survive. He started toward the shuttle landing site and felt Kathryn pull away from him. "Kathryn?" She was looking toward the rocks several dozen meters away, the rocks where she'd wandered to last night, where he'd found her unconscious. "Chakotay..." Chakotay knew what she was thinking. She wanted to look for some evidence, to see a physical sign that he'd really been there. They'd discussed her experience only briefly this morning while they'd still been huddled under the blankets, waiting for the late dawn to break. She'd seemed reticent to voice her experience again, as if talking about it in the light of day made it less real. He'd told her that he didn't doubt what she'd seen. They'd seen far stranger things than a Traveler from the future showing up on an isolated world for a quick chat. But as easy as he found it to take such things on faith, Kathryn was a scientist by nature. He couldn't change her, and he didn't want to. He let Kathryn take his hand and lead him toward the rocks. The snow was thicker on the ground than it had been yesterday, but it was packed and relatively easy to walk on. And there were no sign of the animal tracks he had followed last night, though he kept a hand near the phaser strapped to his belt, just in case. The animal Kathryn had described sounded remarkably similar to Tom's description of "the Abominable Snowman", and he didn't relish running across one again. Kathryn dropped Chakotay's hand as she scrambled around several large rocks, scanning the ground. Chakotay found his own gaze locked on the smooth snow where they had just left their prints. The very spot where he'd found Kathryn last night. He moved quickly to catch up with her. "Find something?" She shook her head. "Nothing." "These rocks cover dozens of meters, Kathryn. With the snow cover it would be difficult to spot anything if it were here." He followed her as she wandered past several more rocks. "And if the Traveler was waiting here for several months, or years, as he intimated...if his body's been here that long..." He hadn't been quite clear on that part when Kathryn had tried to explain it this morning, and he didn't think she was completely clear on it either. "I know this is silly, Chakotay," Kathryn said, stopping abruptly and turning to look at him. "It's not silly," he said, taking her hand and holding it between his. "But you don't have to have something tangible to prove what you experienced, or to make it real, to me or to yourself." "I know." She smiled ruefully, then shivered. Chakotay slipped an arm around her and she hugged him. "Let's get back to the Aerowing." They'd only taken a few steps when Chakotay's eye caught something glittering at the base of a rock a meter away. He stopped and took a step closer, pulling Kathryn with him. The sun's weak rays were bouncing off something shiny, something half buried under the rock where the snow hadn't quite reached, or had been blown away by the wind. Chakotay knelt down and pushed the dirt away with his gloved hand. He picked up the object, and saw that it was a pendant of some sort. Kathryn knelt down next to Chakotay and watched as he turned it over in his hand. It was familiar... "Chakotay, I've seen that! The Traveler, I think he was wearing it." Odd that she hadn't remembered it until she saw it glittering in Chakotay's hand. Chakotay placed it in her hand, and Kathryn stared at it. The metal was simple gold, abundant in the galaxy, and on Aurora, but beautiful nonetheless. The small stones were a deep blue, in a diamond shape, and joined by a carved filigree design. It looked like a symbol for unity, whether of the galaxy, or the Travelers, she didn't know. "Look, Kathryn." Chakotay had swept back more of the dirt and snow, and found a shred of cloth, streaked with dirt and faded, but unmistakably yellow. He looked at Kathryn, who was staring raptly at the cloth. "His?" "Yes." Chakotay pressed his fingers into the dirt again next to the cloth, and after a few moments found what he was looking for. He carefully brushed away the dirt to reveal the small, ivory bones of a hand, and from the looks of it a human hand. Kathryn had mentioned that also, that she thought the Traveler had been human at one time, before he became more. "He's been here for years, perhaps even decades, judging from the way these bones are buried." And yet they'd still found them relatively easily... Kathryn didn't say anything, and Chakotay touched her hand. "Kathryn?" "He said he'd been waiting for me for quite a while." She looked at the pendant in her hand, and rubbed at the surface with one gloved finger, dislodging some of the dirt that had been ingrained in the tiny crevices of the filigree design. Then she carefully laid the pendant on top of the shredded bit of cloth. "This belongs with him. And he's where he belongs, here in body, and somewhere in spirit." Kathryn began to brush the loosened dirt back over the exposed bones and the cloth and pendant. Chakotay helped her until there was again no sign that the Traveler had been here. Then Kathryn clasped his hand in hers and stood up. "Come on. Let's get to the Aerowing so we can go back home, where we belong." Several minutes later Kathryn palmed the outside manual control and they entered the dim, cold interior of the Aerowing. "How's your leg?" Kathryn asked as she dropped her pack inside the door next to Chakotay's and approached the front console. She had noticed that he was limping slightly. "Not quite as stiff," Chakotay said, running a hand over several of the dead systems monitors. He had completely forgotten about his leg last night, while he'd been outside trying to find Kathryn, and later, when they'd been so...absorbed in each other. At the time his mind had been so completely occupied, he would barely have noticed if his leg had snapped in two again. But this morning it had definitely protested all the exertion, and he'd been barely able to move it. "Good," Kathryn murmured, and he felt her hand rub the back of his leg through his bulky clothing. Chakotay smiled, remembering the massage she'd given his leg this morning when it had felt so stiff. Then she'd gone well beyond the call of duty and moved her gentle hands to work their magic on other areas. And he'd returned the favor... "Chakotay, get your mind on your work," Kathryn ordered in her most reproving tone. Then she draped herself against his side and her arms circled his neck. Chakotay smiled at her suggestive grin and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer against him as their lips met. They kissed lingeringly, simply enjoying the taste and feel of each other. Then Chakotay reluctantly pulled back. "You know, we really do have a lot of work to do here." Kathryn sighed and rested her head against his shoulder, looking at the front console. "I know. It's going to be a while before we are back at home, sitting in front of a nice warm fire..." Chakotay smiled. "That I most definitely look forward to." And he did. Last night had been new, intense, wonderful. They certainly hadn't had a chance to discuss what it all meant in the long term, and how they would merge their lives together now. But the idea of sitting in front of a fire with Kathryn, talking, laughing, planning their future together, just like in his dream- he knew it would be as satisfying as everything they'd physically shared last night. Kathryn's hand drifted down to pat his butt. "Come on, let's get started then, because I want to get home." Chakotay chuckled at Kathryn's proprietary gesture and knelt down in front of the main console. It was as good a place to start as any. "I'll see if I can get back up communications on-line, then at least we can call..." Kathryn looked at Chakotay as he glanced up at her, and they both listened to the unmistakable sound of a shuttle engine on a landing approach. "The cavalry?" Kathryn finished for him, her eyebrow raised Vulcan style. They both stepped out of the Aerowing in time to see the Cochrane settle gently on the snow covered ground a few meters away. A minute or so later Joe stepped out of the shuttle and Tom was right behind him, slinging his jacket on. He pulled it quickly tight around him as he stepped on the ground. "Lord, it's cold up here!" Tom said, approaching Kathryn and Chakotay. He veered off slightly as he noticed the back end of the Aerowing was all but dangling over empty space. He peered down the steep incline, then looked back at Chakotay, trying to play down the smirk he felt forming on his face. "Nice landing, Chakotay." "I was lucky I was able to land at all without any instruments." Tom raised an eyebrow. "None?" He glanced back down the incline then edged away from it. "I'm impressed." "It was really more of a controlled crash than a landing," Kathryn commented dryly. Tom caught Chakotay's look of mock effrontery that quickly faded into amusement. And Kathryn's answering grin, her expression teasing and...affectionate. Hmmm, more than affectionate. Well, that was interesting. He glanced toward the dim, powerless interior of the Aerowing. "I take it you didn't sleep in there without environmental controls." "We found shelter in one of the caves." Kathryn gestured toward the crevice marked cliffside. "It kept out the worst of the cold anyway." "Good. I was worried you might freeze to death out here." Tom rubbed his arms for effect. "I should have known you two would find a...way to keep warm." Kathryn's eyes narrowed at Tom's drawl, then she glanced at Chakotay. Tom was pretty sure Chakotay was simply trying to keep a grin off his face. "Do you have something you want to say, Tom?" Tom did grin at the challenge in Kathryn's voice. "No. Just that it's about time." Kathryn didn't get a chance to reply as Joe hopped lightly out of the Aerowing, where he'd immediately headed to inspect the damage. "Looks like several hours work just to get her passably flight ready, though two or three days and some replacement parts are what she really needs." "Plan A?" Tom asked, and Joe nodded. "I'll check out the hull damage and make sure it can handle the structural stress," Joe said. "Plan A?" Kathryn asked, as Joe walked to the front of the Aerowing and peered closely at the buckled metal. "We discussed it with Tuvok when we first checked in with him this morning. Based on the condition of the Aerowing, we came up with Plan A, if the repairs would require more than a quick band aid job, and that seems to be the case. We can use the Cochrane to tow the Aerowing back to New Lourdes." "Use the tractor beam?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "Is that safe?" "It's cumbersome lifting from a stationary position into the lower atmosphere, and it takes some careful piloting, but it's safe." "And very energy intensive," Chakotay pointed out. "It will probably drain most of the power cells in the Cochrane," Joe put in, then glanced at Tom. "She'll hold." He patted the warped metal and stood up. "It will take a lot of energy, but now that we know about the ryanamite, I think we can be a little 'wasteful' when the situation calls for it. Joe ran a quick scan before we landed and that's a lot of raw energy to be had. We'll be swimming in surplus before we know it." "You don't have to convince me." Kathryn said, rubbing her arms meaningfully. "My teeth are about to chatter. If you know you can do it, Tom, then I'm all for it." Tom gave her a self assured grin. "Not a problem. I say we get into the Cochrane where the environmental controls are completely functional. Neelix sent along some of his special blend coffee. I think we saved some for you, Kathryn." "Then definitely get out of my way," Kathryn said, as Tom stepped back and motioned her into the shuttle. "I think my culinary efforts this morning are being impugned," Chakotay said with a mock frown as he stepped into the Cochrane behind Tom. "Starfleet's freeze dried coffee rations?" Tom asked rhetorically as they took their seats at the front console. "Scary stuff." He watched Chakotay gingerly lower himself into the copilot's seat. "Something wrong with your leg?" "Just a minor break during our landing. Kathryn used the bone knitter on it. It should be fine in a few days." "Hmmm." Tom activated several monitors on the console. "You might want to have the doctor check it out anyway when we get back." He stole a surreptitious look at Kathryn in the seat behind him, and was rewarded with a narrow stare. "Ouch." "The Aerowing's secure and ready, Tom," Joe said, stepping into the shuttle and reactivating the door sensor panel. The door slid closed behind him. "Okay, give me ten minutes for preflight procedures and we'll be ready for take off." In fact Tom lifted the Cochrane off nine minutes later, while he calculated angles and positions relative to the Aerowing, with Chakotay assisting. "Joe, is the tractor beam ready to engage?" "On your call, Tom," Joe said from his spot at the back Engineering panel. "Okay, I'm going to position the Cochrane right in front of the Aerowing and tractor her out in a vertical direction first, then start the ascent once we hit 50 kph." Tom looked out the main viewscreen at the empty sky in front of him as he hovered the Cochrane into position. "It's actually convenient that you parked the Aerowing on the edge of a cliff, Chakotay. Gives me lots of open space to work with." "I'm glad you approve," Chakotay replied dryly, as he surveyed the status of his monitors. Tom grinned, and punched several pads on his console. "Okay, Joe...activate the tractor beam...now." The glow of the tractor beam wrapped around the Aerowing, and no one spoke for several minutes as Tom and Chakotay concentrated on moving the Cochrane and Aerowing in unison away from the mountain and Joe and Kathryn monitored the integrity of the tractor beam via the rear sensor screens. "Okay, that should do it," Tom said finally, relaxing into the smooth back of his chair as they achieved their cruising level in the upper atmosphere. "We should land at New Lourdes in a little over three hours, with little or no turbulence expected ahead." He activated the comm channel on the front console. "Paris to New Lourdes." "Tuvok here. I assume you have achieved a stable flight course and are now enroute to New Lourdes?" Tom had checked in with Tuvok when he began his preflight procedures to confirm the implementation of Plan A. Tuvok had simply requested that Tom call as soon as the Cochrane reached cruising altitude and all was in order, an unVulcany expression of concern from Tuvok, Tom had thought. "I got us up safely, Tuvok. Reassured now?" "Indeed. I have complete confidence in your ability, when you are being attentive to the task at hand." Tom rolled his eyes. "Thanks." "With your projected course and speed, I assume your flight time will be an additional 3.14 hours?" Tom snorted. "Yeah, more or less. Tuvok, is B'Elanna there?" He'd hoped to talk to her when he'd placed the first check in call to New Lourdes barely after 0900 hours this morning, but Tuvok had said she wasn't in the Meeting hall. He'd briefly wondered if she was still asleep, but she rarely slept late even when she could really use it. He'd expected that she'd make her way to the Meeting hall for his subsequent calls, to find out about Kathryn and Chakotay, and maybe just to hear his voice. He hadn't pressed the issue, but now he really wanted to talk to her. "She is not here." "Then where the hell is she?" "Tom, B'Elanna is in Sickbay." Tom's heart dropped for just a brief second before Tuvok continued. "She is in labor." Tom didn't say anything for a minute, in fact there wasn't a sound in the shuttle except for the low hum of the engines. Finally he managed to find his voice. "Labor? She's having the baby?" "Yes, apparently her labor began at 2327 last evening. It has since progressed slowly, which according to the doctor is within normal parameters. The doctor's last report minutes ago indicated that her contractions are 3.32 minutes apart. The doctor anticipates that she will give birth within the next 2 to 4 hours, which is as accurately as he can estimate since individual progression of labor is unpredictable." Tom would have interrupted Tuvok's long monologue, except that he was still trying to comprehend that B'Elanna was having their baby, and he was still hours away. He looked at the front console chrono. 1132 hours. B'Elanna had been in labor for twelve hours while he'd been sleeping, eating breakfast- "We may make it back before the baby comes, Tom," Chakotay finally said, just before Tuvok spoke again. "Tom, B'Elanna requested that I not...distract you while you were committed to this mission. She knew you would be unable to return immediately and did not wish you to worry needlessly. She is well and the process is a natural one. There is no need for undue concern." "Gee, why would I be concerned?" "I believe you comprehend my meaning. I did concur with her reasoning. The procedure you just performed to tractor the Aerowing through the lower atmosphere was a delicate one-" "Well, I'm glad you and B'Elanna could finally agree on something!" Tom couldn't stop the surge of disappointment he felt from coming out as bitterness. "Tom..." Kathryn knelt next to him and dropped a hand firmly on his shoulder, her captain's instincts taking over, though she no longer had any real basis for intervening, except friendship. "Tuvok, please call us if the baby comes, or if there is anything else that requires our attention. Otherwise, we'll be there on schedule." "Very well, Kathryn." There was a slight pause. "Tom, it was not my intent-" "I know, Tuvok. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Tom took a deep breath and felt Kathryn's hand squeeze his shoulder gently. "Can you just let B'Elanna know that we're on our way-" "I shall relay that information to the doctor. He is being rather...proprietary toward his patient right now." Tom almost smiled. He knew that B'Elanna was in good hands. At least he could be comforted by that knowledge. "Thank you, Tuvok." "You are welcome, Tom. Tuvok out." "I'm sorry about this, Tom," Kathryn said softly. Tom shook his head and reached up to squeeze Kathryn's hand, where it still rested on his shoulder. "It's no one's fault. What happened to you and Chakotay was a freak thing. And the doctor didn't expect B'Elanna to go into labor for another couple of weeks." "Babies just come when they're ready," Joe said from the seat he had taken behind Chakotay. "Even the most advanced medical scans can't completely predict their timing. Tom, I wish we could increase our speed and get there sooner, but the tractor beam integrity would start to weaken if we try to go any faster, or fought for higher altitude against the gravity well." "I know, Joe. I wouldn't consider taking any chances right now." "B'Elanna would kill you herself," Chakotay said pointedly to Tom. "And we may still get there in time. But either way, you're about to be a father." Chakotay shook his head and smiled wryly. "Tom Paris, a father. Who would have thought?" Tom smiled back. No one he knew before he'd come to Voyager could have imagined it. Not even himself. Back then he couldn't foresee the day when he might actually consider himself halfway capable of raising a child. "And a very good father, I have no doubt," Kathryn said softly next to him. She patted his shoulder and returned to her seat. "The first child to be born on Aurora," Chakotay mused reflectively. He glanced back at Kathryn. "But I'm sure there'll be many more to come." Their gazes locked and a small smile played on her face. The conversation in the Cochrane drifted from babies to other subjects, the ryanamite and how best to extract it; the possibility of setting up a second colony base in the Northern hemisphere to take advantage one of the warmer Mediterranean climes conducive to certain agricultural products the way the climate around New Lourdes was conducive to grain production; ideas on how they might put their expected energy surpluses to best use next year, from reinstituting limited transporter technology to fueling new ground cars. Tom heard it all, and even felt a detached sense of satisfaction that Kathryn, who had previously shown little interest in making future plans for the colony, was leading the conversation. But he didn't contribute much, and the others respected his silence and left him to his thoughts, to his regrets and to his anticipation. To all his jumbled feelings, now that he was soon, very soon, about to be a father, and about to hold his firstborn child in his arms. For Tom, the journey back to New Lourdes was the longest three hours of his life. --- "I don't want you to push yet, B'Elanna. I will tell you when. Do not push." "I'm not pushing!" The doctor glanced up at B'Elanna's snarled return and she glared back at him. Then she grimaced and her hands gripped the sheet tightly as another contraction hit. Kes had tried to hold her hand, but B'Elanna had refused. The doctor suspected that it was not just because she was determined to deal with the pain herself, but because she was also afraid she might hurt the Ocampan. Kes simply accepted B'Elanna's wishes and continued to rub her shoulders and back, trying to help her relax, as B'Elanna sat half propped up now dealing with contractions that were virtually one on top of the other and no doubt very intense. After she'd gone into transition, even B'Elanna's Klingon side couldn't deny the pain, but the doctor had to admit she was dealing with it more than admirably. "The baby is crowning, B'Elanna, it will be just a few more-" the doctor didn't quite finish his statement when the door to Sickbay slammed open and someone's hurried footsteps sounded loudly through the entryway. The doctor looked up from where he was preparing to receive the baby, intending to shoo the intruder back outside, unless it was Tom Paris. He was surprised by the sense of relief he felt when he saw that it was indeed Tom. Not because he really minded B'Elanna's temper, whether she cursed at him, or threw a complete tantrum while this baby was being born, but because he knew how much she'd really wanted Tom to be here. He saw it clearly on her face as she spotted Tom rushing into the room, and on Tom's as he smiled at her. "Well, it looks like we are truly ready for this baby to be born, now that the father has made his appearance, in typically late fashion I might add." The doctor spoke dryly, but there was a note of satisfaction in his voice. "Wash your hands, Tom," he added before Tom could reach his wife's side. Tom quickly backpedaled and utilized the small wash area, his eyes never leaving B'Elanna. Her hair was damp with sweat and her face was shiny with exertion. She looked tired, but her eyes were lit with relief as she smiled weakly back at him. Then, as he finished and quickly rushed to her side, her jaw tensed and her teeth sank into her bottom lip as another contraction hit. Kes moved away to allow him room and he sat down on the edge of the bed facing B'Elanna, and pried one of her hands from its tight grip on the sheet draped over her stomach. She closed her hand over his and he wasn't sure that he didn't feel some of the bones in his hand snap. But he didn't care. "You can push during the contractions, B'Elanna," the doctor announced as Kes joined him. "Your baby is ready to come into this world." Tom brushed a strand of B'Elanna's hair off her face with his free hand as she took quick, short breaths and pushed through the contraction. Then her grip on his hand loosened a little, enough for him to feel his circulation again, and she rested her forehead against his shoulder for a moment while he hugged her. "B'Elanna, I'm sorry-" He felt her shake her head against his shoulder, then she pulled back enough to look at him. "You're here now. And I should...have-" B'Elanna's hand tightened on his again, and she groaned slightly as her face contorted and she pushed through the next contraction. Tom knew it was a natural process and that she was more than able to withstand it, but he was surprised at how much it bothered him to see the pain flash across her face. "B'Elanna, the baby is coming, so I want you to push hard on the next one." B'Elanna released Tom's hand and leaned toward her bent legs to give herself more leverage, her hands gripping her knees. Tom pressed a hand on top of hers, and put his other hand against her back to help support her as she gritted her teeth and pushed, her breath coming out in a long, arduous groan. Then she relaxed against him for a moment, breathing in short, harsh gasps. "Ah, the head is out. Just one more time, B'Elanna, for the shoulders." Tom glanced over and caught a glimpse of the doctor's hands supporting the baby's head. Kes stood next to him holding several towels. He smiled at B'Elanna. "You're almost done, sweetheart." B'Elanna nodded distractedly, her eyes closed, and Tom saw that she was already gathering her strength again. Her hand edged from beneath his to grip his again, and Tom couldn't feel any sensation in his hand as she tensed and pushed, and her groan of effort rose to nearly a wail this time. Then she collapsed completely against him. "B'Elanna, Tom, congratulations. You have a healthy, beautiful baby girl." Tom glanced back and saw the doctor's broad smile. He got a quick look at their baby daughter, tiny and wet with fluids, and heard her let out a short high pitched cry as the doctor handed her to Kes. Then he turned back to his wife. Tom moved his hand away to allow B'Elanna to fall back against the pillow. She was still breathing heavily, and her hair was plastered to her face. Her face was wet with perspiration and lined with exhaustion. But she smiled at him, and he thought she looked incredibly beautiful. "I love you," he said softly, dropping a light kiss on her parted lips, then another on her damp forehead. He was peripherally aware of the doctor and Kes behind him drying and cleaning the baby, but he just brushed B'Elanna's hair off her face and stroked her cheek as her breathing slowly evened. And waited patiently to see the baby- their baby- with B'Elanna. "Here she is," the doctor said several moments later, as he approached the other side of the bed and gently laid the baby in B'Elanna's arms. Tom stared as B'Elanna hesitated only momentarily, then cradled the baby closely against her chest. Their baby. Their daughter. His daughter. My god. She was incredibly small. Incredibly perfect. He watched her flail her arms and legs. Her tiny fingers curled into a fist. Her face scrunched up like she might cry, then her small bow shaped mouth opened into a round little O, and she yawned. Tom touched her cheek gently with one finger, and her slightly dusky skin felt like the softest silk. Then he lightly traced the tiny, barely perceptible brow ridges along her forehead below the scattering of fine dark hair, so like her mother's. His heart filled, and his emotions caught in his throat. He thought he'd never before seen anything that made him feel so deeply and completely happy. Until he looked at B'Elanna. She was staring at their daughter with a mixture of awe and wonder. She was completely mesmerized. She touched the baby's soft cheek, as Tom had, letting her hand linger on the soft, downy skin. Her brow furrowed as the baby opened her eyes for a mere second, looking up at her mother in an unfocused stare, then closed them again and uttered a soft contented sigh. B'Elanna's arms tightened just perceptively and a look of fierce, protective love crossed her face as she looked at her daughter. The all consuming kind of love that a half Klingon felt. The look that Tom had seen directed at him many times, and that he cherished. B'Elanna glanced up at Tom then, and he saw the lingering astonishment in her eyes, and the joy in their glistening depths. Glistening with...tears. From B'Elanna, who never cried. "She's beautiful," B'Elanna whispered softly. Tom closed his hand over B'Elanna's, where it still rested against their daughter's cheek. "She's absolutely gorgeous. Just like her mother." He leaned over and kissed his wife deeply, slowly. The doctor cleared his throat. Tom pulled away from B'Elanna and looked at the doctor, who tried to look reproving, but failed miserably. Tom saw the pride lurking in the doctor's expression. A hand touched Tom's shoulder, and he looked up to see Kes smiling down at him. "B'Elanna, Kes is going to settle the baby into a bassinet so she can sleep, which is what you will be doing as soon as we finish up here." "Finish what?" Tom asked, as B'Elanna rather reluctantly opened her arms and let Kes take the baby. "The afterbirth, Tom," the doctor replied dryly. "Why don't you go outside and announce the arrival of your new daughter. I believe something of a crowd has gathered awaiting the news. And don't bring them all back with you. B'Elanna will need some rest." Tom kissed B'Elanna lightly, his hand lingering on her cheek. "Okay?" B'Elanna nodded. "Tom, I'm sorry that you didn't know what was-" Tom shushed her, and touched her lips with his again. "Those three hours getting back here in the Cochrane were the longest three hours of my life. If I had known earlier, I probably would have gone crazy." He smiled and kissed her gently one more time. "I love you." "I love you," B'Elanna repeated softly. Tom rose and grinned at the doctor's impatient stare. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he told B'Elanna before he sauntered out of the Sickbay, high on an incredible sense of euphoria. He was a father. The reality of it was wonderful, exhilarating. And he was looking forward to every minute of the experience. He also enjoyed every moment of the congratulatory hugs and slaps on the back he received when he proudly announced the arrival of his daughter. He accepted the genuine accolades and well wishes from those around him, the people who were now truly part of his family. But he was anxious to get back to B'Elanna, and he returned to the Sickbay ten minutes later with Harry, Kathryn and Chakotay all in tow. "Only a few minutes," the doctor said sternly as they entered. "Mother and baby both need to rest." Kes was waiting in the small alcove where the doctor had recently set up a nursery, with the necessary bassinets and monitors, in anticipation of the continued growth of the colony. Tom stopped to look at his daughter, who was curled up asleep under a soft white blanket. Then he left the others to stare at her while he went to B'Elanna, who was settled more comfortably now, in one of the doctor's fresh Sickbay gowns, a clean sheet gathered around her, and looking very drowsy. "She had a little bleeding with the afterbirth, which is not uncommon," the doctor said as he moved aside to allow Tom access. "But I did give her some medication to stop the bleeding, and it will have a mild sedative effect." The doctor sounded a little smug when he mentioned the last part. "So keep your visit short," he added as the others approached B'Elanna's bed and he left to check on his newest patient. Kathryn sat on the edge of the bed opposite from Tom and smiled broadly at B'Elanna. "She's beautiful, B'Elanna, Tom," she glanced across the bed to include him. "You should both be very proud." She watched B'Elanna smile contentedly back and squeezed her hand. "You haven't told us her name yet," Chakotay said, standing next to Kathryn and resting a hand on her shoulder. "M'Kaela Torres Paris," Tom said. "It's a combination of my maternal grandmother's name, Mikaela, and an Klingon name, M'Ekela, who in an ancient Klingon myth was the goddess of new beginnings. It seemed kind of appropriate." "It's a lovely name," Kes said, smiling at Harry who stood with his arm draped around her. "B'Elanna, didn't you tell me once that your name came from a goddess of the dawn?" Harry asked. "She was the bringer of first light," Tom corrected. "After she ripped out the heart of the god of eternal darkness and threw it beyond the stars. And M'Ekela rebuilt the Klingon homeworld after one of those god wars again destroyed it, and then she forced the Klingons to adhere to a new code of honor in warfare. Thus she ushered in a new era of Klingon civilization." "It's just a name, Tom," B'Elanna murmured, as Tom's hand stroked her hair. "With a family tradition and history behind it on both sides," Chakotay said approvingly. "It is a beautiful name," Kathryn added. She patted B'Elanna's hand. "And now we should go so you can get some sleep." As tired as B'Elanna looked, Kathryn realized that she also looked amazingly contented. At peace. Something she knew didn't come naturally to B'Elanna, as it didn't to Kathryn. They both had a strong desire to achieve, to act, and little natural inclination to simply relax and enjoy the moment. At least until now. She put a hand over Chakotay's where it rested on her shoulder. "You look happy, Kathryn." B'Elanna said, looking slightly puzzled. "Really happy. At peace." Gods, Kathryn thought, had she been that miserable and that uptight, that B'Elanna, half asleep though she was, saw the change in her so clearly? "I am happy, B'Elanna." "I'm glad," B'Elanna murmured, a small, distracted smile crossing her face. "That's why I didn't want to tell you." Kathryn shook her head. "Tell me what?" "About the other...timeline. About being on Voyager." B'Elanna's eyes drifted closed and her voice was husky with drowsiness. Tom shrugged when Kathryn looked at him. "You were happy when I saw you there. Content. Even after the Borg and the Species...the other species... You wanted to be on Voyager...so much..." Tom brushed a hand against B'Elanna's cheek. "B'Elanna, honey, I think maybe you're remembering a dream." "No, Tom, I was there," B'Elanna protested sleepily, shaking her head once, then resting her cheek against Tom's hand as her eyes drifted shut. Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged looks. How had B'Elanna known about the Borg and the other Species? Chakotay shrugged, and Kathryn knew he felt it didn't really matter. She looked back at B'Elanna. "B'Elanna, I am happy here. Voyager was another time, another place. Another life. But this is where we're meant to be now. I can accept that." B'Elanna just nodded drowsily, murmuring something unintelligible. It was Tom and Harry who both smiled with satisfaction at Kathryn's words. "Are you all still here?" The doctor glared at the group assembled around B'Elanna's bed. "Geez, Doc, how much sedative did you give her?" Harry asked. "She's practically hallucinating." "Not that much, Mr. Kim," the doctor huffed. "And you might have a little difficulty making intelligible chit chat with a gaggle of over zealous visitors if you had gone through fifteen hours of labor. Everyone out! I want my patient left in peace to sleep until tomorrow morning." "Okay, Doc. Don't get your programming in a twist." Harry clapped Tom on the back and leaned over to drop a light kiss on B'Elanna's forehead. "You did great, Maquis. See you later." "Night, Harry," B'Elanna murmured softly, not even opening her eyes. Chakotay followed suit as Harry and Kes moved away and dropped a soft kiss on B'Elanna's brow. Kathryn squeezed B'Elanna's hand and reached over to squeeze Tom's, then stood up. "I'm happy for both of you." "She's going to be mad if she doesn't wake up until tomorrow morning," Chakotay said in a low voice as he and Kathryn passed by the doctor. "At least she'll be well rested when she tries to out yell me," the doctor returned, sounding not the least worried or contrite. Kathryn smiled. "You did a fine job here, Doctor. It's good to know that you'll be here as the colony grows." The doctor looked pleased. "Thank you, Kathryn." He glanced at Chakotay, whose hand was resting on Kathryn's arm. "I presume my nursery will be getting a great deal more use than even I anticipated in the near future," he added sardonically. Chakotay grinned. "I think you can count on that, Doctor." He draped his arm over Kathryn's shoulders as they walked out. The doctor stared after them, bemused and strangely satisfied with this new turn of events. Not that he was surprised. Sexual attraction between humans was apparent to him long before the hormonally affected seemed willing to acknowledge it. And when it came to Klingons... "And what do you think you are doing, Mr. Paris?" the doctor asked, as he turned back to his patient and saw that Tom hadn't moved from his position next to B'Elanna. Tom was in fact about to stand up but B'Elanna pressed her face closer into his hand and shifted slightly, bringing her own hand up to grip his wrist lightly. She murmured something and then moaned softly in her sleep, whether from a dream or from the residual physical effects of giving birth, he didn't know. But he was sure the word she had murmured was his name. "Tom, B'Elanna needs to sleep-" Tom glanced at the doctor, who was giving him his fatherly lecture look, and instead of getting up, he spread his long form on the bed next to B'Elanna and pulled her gently into his arms. She sighed softly and pressed her face against his shoulder. "That is not what I had in mind." The doctor gave him a reproving look and Tom just grinned back. "I can have you thrown out of my Sickbay you know." "But you won't." The doctor's eyes narrowed, then he shook his head in long suffering resignation, but Tom was sure he saw a hint of a smile playing around the doctor's mouth as he turned away. "Hey, Doc." The doctor turned and looked back at Tom, eyebrow raised. "Thank you." The doctor looked mildly flustered. He was always more than willing to point out his own superior characteristics, but when he received a genuine, heartfelt compliment, especially from Tom Paris, he was left momentarily speechless. Tom smiled. "Just say "you're welcome", Doc." This time a hint of a smile did turn up the doctor's lips. "You are, Mr. Paris. And now I have to see to my new patient." "You just want to watch her sleep, you softy," Tom said, and the doctor rolled his eyes. He snuggled a little closer to his sleeping wife, and smiled at the doctor. "Go ahead. I get to watch her, and her mother, sleep every day of my life. I don't know how I got to be such a lucky man." "Neither do I, Mr. Paris. But I'm pleased to see that you appreciate your good fortune." "Oh, I do, Doc, believe me, I do." --- A week later --- B'Elanna stood under the steady stream of the shower enjoying the sensation of hot water sluicing down her skin. M'Kaela was asleep, as she was most of the time, except every four hours when she woke demanding to be fed and changed. It was a simple case right now of fulfilling her clocklike biological needs. Yet when she was laying in B'Elanna's arms, her small body snuggling close, her tiny hand touching her mother's skin, her clear blue eyes staring up contented and trusting while she nursed, the feeling it engendered in B'Elanna was anything but simple. It was profound in a way she had never expected. When the doctor had placed her daughter in her arms for the first time she'd been stunned, overwhelmed by the incredible feeling of love that had enveloped her. She'd stared down at the tiny, perfect life that she, and Tom, had created, and she'd been seized with a certain knowledge that nothing she'd ever done in her life before, none of the achievements she'd furiously worked for in an endless effort to validate her own worth to herself and to those around her, remotely compared to this. And she'd known with equal certainty that she could be a mother, a good mother. She could love and protect and nurture her child without reservation. She already did. A week. She'd been a mother for a week now, and she had never even begun to imagine what that really meant, what it felt like. Even watching Sam with Naomi on Voyager and here on Aurora hadn't really clued her in at all. Certainly she'd never figured out what it might have meant to her own mother, since she'd never given B'Elanna a hint that being a mother was any more than fulfilling a simple duty to feed, clothe and lay down uncompromising rules of behavior. At least that was how B'Elanna had always perceived her mother. Now she wondered. Wondered how her mother had felt the first moment she'd held her own baby in her arms. Had she felt the same overwhelming pride and love, the same determination to make her daughter's life perfect, to give her daughter everything her heart and her hands could possibly provide? B'Elanna thought that perhaps her mother had felt that way. She could dimly remember moments, while her father was still with them, when her mother had smiled at her, and there had seemed to be affection in her eyes, and amused tolerance- even acceptance- of her half human daughter's individualistic personality. Perhaps it was only later, after her father had left, that her mother changed. B'Elanna sighed as she ran her hands through her hair, rinsing the last of the shampoo out. She remembered so many of the later times when her mother had been disappointed in her. Constantly judging her daughter's behavior against her own Klingon standards and finding it lacking. But maybe it had been her mother's own disappointments in life, rather than her daughter's, that had changed her. The disappointment of her husband leaving her, the burden of being alone with a child to raise on a human colony where she was barely tolerated, and the later burden of being no more tolerated by her family on Qo'noS, who had forever thrown her ill-advised marriage to a human in her face. Maybe it was no wonder her mother had hardened her heart. She had probably thought that was the only way she could protect herself. And she had pressured her daughter to do the same, to never show weakness, to never reveal her deepest feelings, to never leave herself open enough to give someone a chance to tear her down. To be strong, to be completely self contained- that was everything to her mother, no matter what the personal cost. Even if the cost was the ability to show her daughter any real love. And even if it had nearly cost her daughter the ability to accept love herself. B'Elanna jumped as something touched her shoulders. She opened her eyes and stared into Tom's deep blue ones. She had been so engrossed in her thoughts she hadn't even heard him step into the shower. "You've been in here a while," Tom said softly, his hands gently massaging her shoulders. "I thought you might have fallen asleep or something." B'Elanna shook her head. "I'm not tired. Well..." she amended, thinking of how often her sleep had been interrupted this past week. "a little. But it's a good tired." Tom smiled. "It is. A very good tired. She's sound asleep right now though." Tom had gotten up far more often than she in the middle of the night, bringing M'Kaela to her to be fed, and had been perfectly willing, even insistent, on changing diapers and bathing and dressing their daughter. And cuddling her endlessly. B'Elanna knew he was enjoying every moment. "You looked kind of sad a moment ago," Tom said, his hands sliding down her arms. "I was thinking about my mother," B'Elanna said. She saw Tom's frown and shook her head. "I've always thought she was hard on me because who I was wasn't good enough. Because I couldn't be Klingon enough for her to love me." "B'Elanna-" "Tom, maybe I was wrong. Maybe she was so hard on me after my father left because she was trying to protect me. Maybe she wanted me to act more Klingon because she thought it would make me to strong enough so that I could never be hurt." Tom ran his fingers through B'Elanna's wet hair and pushed it off her face. "B'Elanna, nobody's that strong, not even a Klingon. Your mother wasn't. The only way you can't be hurt is to hide away somewhere where no one can ever touch you." "I know." She'd tried that, too, for a long time. Shielding herself from others, depending on no one, trusting only herself. She'd only realized recently- with Tom- that the utter loneliness of that existence had been its own kind of hurt. "She thought she could keep me from making the same mistakes she did." "Loving a human?" Tom asked lightly, but B'Elanna could see the seriousness in his eyes. "I can imagine what your mother would think of me." "That's the strange thing, Tom," B'Elanna said, putting her hands on Tom's shoulders and looking at him earnestly. "I think if she knew you, if she saw how happy I am, really happy, then I think she might be happy for me, too. I think when she held her daughter for the first time, all she ever wanted for her- for me- was the best. Wouldn't anyone want that for their child? But her idea of the best was the strength not to need other people, not to depend on them for anything. That was what got her through after my father left, when people around her- human and Klingon- ostracized her. And when she saw other children tease me and refuse to play with me because I was different, maybe she thought that was the best that I could hope for, too." "She was wrong," Tom said softly, kissing her brow. He slid his arms around her and pulled her closer. "But maybe you're right. If she could see you today she'd realize that. And if she saw her granddaughter, she wouldn't be able to resist her either." B'Elanna draped her arms around Tom's neck. "I am sorry about that. That she'll never know how things turned out for me, or that she has a granddaughter..." Her voice trailed off wistfully. For the first time she really regretted that she would never see her mother again, and the angry words they'd thrown at each other the last time they'd parted didn't seem important anymore. And for the first time she thought that it might really have hurt her mother to believe that her daughter was dead. She regretted that also. "I'm sorry, too," Tom said softly, his hands rubbing her back soothingly. "I think she might be proud of everything you've accomplished. She might even think most of your friends here are fairly worthwhile, even if they're not Klingons." "Maybe." Her mother had high standards, but then so had Kathryn Janeway of her crew, and they had lived up to them. "Uh, Tom..." she'd just noticed that Tom's hands had strayed a little beyond massaging her back. He leaned down and kissed the side of her throat. Then he raised his head and looked down at her. He'd moved close enough to her that the stream of water from the shower head had soaked him, too, and his hair clung to his head in wet, dark blond curls. It sunk in finally that she was standing here naked with her wet skin pressed against her equally naked husband. Tom seemed to realize that too, and instead of taking advantage of the moment he moved back slightly. "B'Elanna.." He shook his head. "I'll get some towels-" B'Elanna intercepted Tom's arm before he could pull the shower curtain back, and pushed him bodily against the back wall of the shower stall. "B'Elanna! Be careful-" "Is that why took off your clothes and joined me in here, Tom? So you could get me a towel?" "Uh, no." Tom smiled sheepishly. "Perhaps I had an ulterior motive or two. But I just realized that maybe it's too soon-" B'Elanna ran her hands slowly down Tom's chest. "I'm half Klingon, I heal fast. And I have a good doctor." Tom looked hesitant. "I know the doc's a miracle worker but are you sure-" B'Elanna kissed her husband deeply, and he was taller than her, so she had to stand on her tiptoes and press her body very closely to his to delve properly into the pleasures of his welcoming mouth. She was pleased by the long groan that issued from deep in his throat. She pulled back and looked up at him. For the past several weeks they'd forgone intercourse because of her pregnancy, finding other ways to love each other. But she'd missed being with him, being part of him, and she knew he'd missed her too, even though he'd been incredibly patient waiting for her to make the first move. "I'm ready, Tom. I'm more than ready." She still had him trapped between her and the wall and she grinned slyly. "And so are you." Tom wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her fully and completely, exploring every millimeter of her willing mouth. Then his lips moved to her face and her throat, while his hands roamed along the soft curves of her body. "I think we're wasting a lot of water," he murmured against her jaw, as they shifted and the stream of water splashed on them. "Maybe we should turn it off," B'Elanna said, her voice muffled against his throat where she was eagerly tasting his water slicked skin. "On the other hand, it'll just be recycled anyway," Tom said, his sentence ending in a low groan as B'Elanna's sensitive hands aroused him. He lifted his wife up so he could better arouse her, and she let him carefully control the pace as they made slow, tender, consuming love to each other. --- Sometime later husband and wife lay together in bed, B'Elanna's head resting on Tom's shoulder, and their daughter cradled in her mother's arms, suckling contentedly. Every once in a while her blue eyes opened and she stared up at her mother. Or if Tom reached over and distracted her by waving his hand, her eyes followed his hand until sometimes blue eyes met blue briefly. Then her eyes closed and she resumed her meal, while her mother and father watched her with satisfaction. At least her father was watching her. Tom glanced at B'Elanna and saw that her eyes had drifted closed, though she was stroking the tiny hand that gripped her finger. He put his hand over hers and she opened her eyes and offered him a sleepy smile. Tom smiled back. "She looks like you, you know." B'Elanna groaned, with a hint of amused exasperation. "She's too young to look like anyone. Though I think she has your eyes, flyboy." They'd had this conversation several times in the past few days, with B'Elanna, his passionate yet practical wife, always insisting that he was being premature in deciding that M'Kaela looked like her mother rather than her father. Tom pressed his hand against his daughter's soft cheek, but she was nursing too greedily now to react. "You do look just like your mother," he whispered to her. "Gorgeous. And I bet you'll grow up to be one hell of an engineer." B'Elanna shook her head against Tom's shoulder. "M'Kaela, you can be whatever you want to be, a pilot, an engineer, even a doctor..." Tom chuckled. "I think the doctor is already drawing up plans for Aurora's first medical school." He'd never seen the doctor beam in quite that wattage after B'Elanna had practically wrestled M'Kaela out of the his clutches in Sickbay, then circumvented his long lecture on baby care by telling him that perhaps M'Kaela would be the first of Aurora's second generation to train as a doctor. He and B'Elanna had managed to escape with their daughter while the doctor was enthusiastically contemplating his future role as a teacher of future doctors. "I was afraid he wasn't going to let me have her," B'Elanna murmured. "He does seem rather fond of her already." But then everyone in the village had been over to hold and coo over M'Kaela. Naomi had immediately volunteered to be her older sister, and Tom knew there would be no shortage of babysitters available. "Well, maybe she will be a doctor. But whatever she does, we'll both be proud of her," B'Elanna murmured sleepily. "Yes, we will..." Tom's voice trailed off and he rested his chin against B'Elanna's hair. He'd thought about his family more since M'Kaela's birth then he had in all the time they'd been on Aurora. Or on Voyager. Just like B'Elanna had thought of her mother, and wondered if she'd misjudged her. Tom only wished he could believe he'd misjudged his father. Kathryn had told him more than once, here and on Voyager, that his father would be proud of him, of how he'd turned his life around. She had known his father, but not in the way Tom had. Owen Paris the Admiral and Owen Paris the father were two different people entirely. His father had all but disowned him after he'd been convicted of treason and sent to prison. And though Tom wanted to believe his father could forgive and forget the past, and would be proud and happy for his son, he couldn't be sure of that at all. He couldn't even be sure that his father would truly care if he found out that his son was still alive. Tom sighed and looked at his daughter. Her eyes were closed and she had stopped nursing. And her mother's eyes were closed, too. Tom shifted slightly so that he could slide his arm gently out from under B'Elanna. She uttered a small protest as he lifted the baby out of her arms. "I'll put her down," Tom whispered, dropping a kiss on his wife's forehead. She murmured something in assent and her hand dropped back on the bed. Tom walked to the cradle Gerron had carved with his daughter snuggled in his arm. She didn't open her eyes, but her tiny fist resting against his chest opened and her fingers clutched several of his chest hairs. He winced slightly and thought he might have to wear more than just boxers as she tightened her surprisingly strong baby grip on him, as if she didn't want to let go. He looked down at her and his heart tripped at the thought that he could ever consider turning against her, denying her. No matter what she did, what mistakes she made, he would never, ever do that. He was not like his father. Tom laid his daughter in her cradle and pulled the small blanket over her sleeping form. He watched her wiggle a bit until she was comfortable, and her hand came up to rest near her mouth. Had his father ever watched him as a baby and loved him this unconditionally, even during those brief moments before he'd realized that he could never make his son what he wanted him to be? Could he have felt that kind of undemanding love for his granddaughter if he'd had the chance to know her? "I don't know, angel." Tom said softly to his daughter. And he probably never would. But maybe, just maybe, he was misjudging his father. Given the chance perhaps he would greet his prodigal son and family with open arms, the past forgiven. Perhaps. Tom smiled at his sleeping daughter and stroked her cheek. "I do know one thing," he whispered to her, kissing her forehead softly. "I love you, Kaela. And I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Always." Tom touched his daughter's soft cheek one last time, then returned to bed. He smiled as B'Elanna greeted his return by wrapping herself around him until she was almost on top of him. He'd teased her about that before she'd become too heavily pregnant to do it, that she practically slept on top of him, though he didn't mind at all. He knew B'Elanna had spent most of her life protecting her own space, literally and figuratively, until she'd finally allowed him in. And now her space was his space and vice versa. He closed his arms around her and hugged her closer. "I love you, Tom," B'Elanna murmured sleepily against his collarbone, her hand resting lightly on his chest. "I love you, Bella," Tom said into her soft, soap scented hair, dropping his hand to entwine his fingers with hers, and pressing her hand against his heart. For some reason he thought momentarily of what B'Elanna had told him a couple of nights ago, about how she had found herself temporarily on Voyager several months ago, trapped in some sort of alternate timeline. An alternate reality, where Voyager was still on course to the Alpha quadrant, where another Tom and B'Elanna existed. B'Elanna had been hesitant to talk about it, clearly wishing she could write it off as some sort of hallucination or dream. But Tom was sure deep down that she believed- knew- it had been real. And he remembered how strangely B'Elanna had acted that day- and that night- as if she were not quite the B'Elanna he knew. It was mindboggling to think of another reality, where things had played out differently. Where Voyager still existed, and where another Tom and B'Elanna were more hesitantly but just as surely recognizing the bond that existed between them. Maybe many other realities, with other Voyagers, other Toms, other B'Elannas, where their lives were completely different. Where they weren't together yet, maybe where they hadn't even met. Or where Voyager had never come to the Delta quadrant. B'Elanna shifted slightly and her hand reflexively tightened around his fingers. Tom sighed and his thumb gently stroked her hand. He knew one thing. Whatever crazy, incomprehensible things took place in this Universe, he- this Tom- was exactly where he belonged. With B'Elanna and their baby daughter, first and foremost, and with everyone else on Aurora who had become in every sense his family. Whatever other "lives" he might have lived, or was living some time or some place else, they didn't matter. His life here was all that mattered. And it was everything he wanted. Best of all it he knew it was everything B'Elanna wanted. Even during the years they'd each spent expending so much time and energy looking in the wrong directions, in a sometimes desperate effort to find some meaning in their lives, some sense of real belonging, they'd been unknowingly waiting to find it in each other. And now in their daughter. A tranquil smile rested on Tom's face as he slowly slipped into a contented and dreamless sleep, his arms wrapped around his beloved and equally contented wife. --- "Are you awake?" "Um hmmm..." Kathryn snuggled closer to Chakotay but she didn't open her eyes. She was entirely too comfortable laying in Chakotay's arms. It had only been a few days but she already felt as if it had always been like this. And always would be. "Did Neelix tell you about the anniversary party?" Kathryn smiled against Chakotay's chest. "Yes." An anniversary party to celebrate their first year on Aurora, which given Aurora's longer rotation around its primary star was approximately fourteen months Earth time, or 426 days. "I told him I thought it was a good idea." She opened her eyes and shifted, resting her arms on Chakotay's chest and propping her chin against her hand so she could look at him. "This is our home now, and we should count our blessings here. If nothing else, we should celebrate that we're all survived this far. More than just survived. And we're all together." "I guess we are all a family now, aren't we? And it is hard to imagine how we would have survived everything we've gone through without each other." Chakotay trailed a hand across Kathryn's cheek and his thumb brushed against her lower lip. "Is it really enough for you now, Kathryn?" "It's enough," Kathryn said softly. She reached up and touched his cheek. "This is more than enough." Chakotay smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. Their mouths lingered together for a brief moment. "I know we'll always have some regrets about the people we've all left behind. But that doesn't diminish what we've found here, with each other. What we can and will build together. And Aurora's just a place, like Voyager was just a place. It is the people who matter." Kathryn smiled reflectively. "Some of whom I can barely recognize as the same people who first boarded Voyager. Raw Starfleet recruits mixed with Maquis..." "Most of whom were more comfortable working individually than as a team, and who certainly didn't know the first thing about Starfleet protocol. But you got them all to work together, to become an efficient, and loyal, team." "I think maybe you helped, Chakotay," Kathryn said softly. "And they were all good people. Almost all." She sighed at the memory of the few who couldn't be reached. Seska, Lon Suder... "They all are good people, even if it took some of them a while to see it within themselves." "Like your personal reclamation project?" Chakotay asked lightly. Whom Kathryn had believed in and trusted long before he had been able to. Kathryn nodded. "Tom perhaps more than most. And some of the Maquis who had trouble fitting in at the beginning. B'Elanna, Gerron, Andrew Dalby. They were all still trying to figure out who they were, and how they fit in." "What about me?" Chakotay asked softly. "As a former Maquis..." "I think you've always known who you are, Chakotay. A man who listens to his heart and follows it." Kathryn dropped a kiss on his chin. "Do you know what my heart is telling me right now?" Chakotay threaded his hands through Kathryn's hair and cupped her face with his palms. Kathryn raised an eyebrow and a small smile touched her lips. "What?" "That we can be happy here. We will be happy here." He stroked her jawline. "All of us. But especially you and me, in this house, with our children-" "Our children?" Kathryn gave him an arch look. "Don't we have to have some first?" Chakotay grinned. "Isn't that what we've been working on the last couple of hours? During the last few days?" He pulled her face down to his and kissed her. "I want to have babies with you, Kathryn. Lots of babies. I want to fill this house with children. I really believe that's a legacy just as important as any admiralcy in Starfleet, or discovering how to harness transwarp, or finding a cure for Boyden's disease, or being the first to contact a new civilization. It's maybe the single greatest legacy of all in this Universe." Kathryn nodded and her voice was soft but firm. "I know." Chakotay looked intently at her, and his dark eyes locked with hers. "Kathryn, I love you. And I promise I will make you happy, whatever it takes. You won't regret-" Kathryn pressed her fingers to his lips. "Stop it. I'm already happy, Chakotay." She slid her hands into his dark hair. "I love you. That is more important to me than anything." She brushed her lips across his. "And I promise I will make you happy, whatever it takes." "We're here together, Kathryn." Chakotay's voice was soft, and completely sincere. "That's all it takes." Kathryn tried to smile, but her emotions got the better of her. She swallowed and asked in a voice more husky than usual, "How many babies did you say you wanted to have?" Chakotay did smile at her, gently, teasingly. "Lots and lots. Dozens. Or as many as you want." "Then maybe we should keep that our primary focus, and approach the issue with a little more diligence..." Kathryn snaked her leg in between his and her skin slid smoothly along the warm length of his. "More diligence? Is that possible-" Chakotay's amused words were cut off by Kathryn's warm mouth enveloping his. He pulled her closer as their mouths nipped and plundered and their hands began to explore and caress, leaving a blazing trail of heat that slowly took them toward the edge. They made love again in the soft lamplight that shed a diffuse glow over the room and the objects in it, a room that had been Kathryn's but was now theirs, with as many evocations of Chakotay's presence as Kathryn's. Her grandmother's green quilt that she'd brought with her on Voyager lay over them. His dreamcatcher, the webbing woven around local wood he'd gathered nearby and carefully carved, and the bright blue and green feathers that decorated it shed by the ground dwelling "pavo" birds that roamed the local forest, hung above their bed. And on the table, next to the bed where Kathryn and Chakotay drifted to sleep in each other's arms, Kathryn's journal lay open to the last page she had written on earlier that evening. On the white bound paper, not yet yellowed by the passage of centuries, not yet perused by countless eyes who would read the words with fascination and near reverence, or by the one who would understand the significance of the one of the small sketches that had been drawn next to the carefully penned words... -- Day 420. On Earth, April 21, 2375. -- I find I can't quit writing the date on Earth, as I know many of us can't, because Earth was and always will be our first home. But perhaps I will start using Tuvok's new calendar system. He used Earth months, since most of us here are human, and simply lengthened them by several days to accommodate Aurora's longer year. So maybe tomorrow I will start saying that it is December, the corresponding season here now, as it was when we first arrived here last year. The past few days have been hectic, so I haven't had a chance to record much here since my quick mention of the small adventure in the Panarctic Mountians. And of M'Kaela's birth. That was seven days ago, and she is beautiful and thriving. I am thrilled, though not much surprised, to see how much Tom and B'Elanna adore their daughter. It is clear that they will make wonderful parents. And more children are coming soon to our fledgling colony, Harry and Kes next month, Gerron and Megan soon after, with others to follow. The doctor has fussed over his new role as a "family practitioner", but I know for a fact that he relishes the role. He recently searched the database, culling advice on "country doctoring" from old Earth sources, from records of colonies in the Alpha quadrant, even from some of the essays of Leonard McCoy, so that he could adapt his programming accordingly, under B'Elanna's stringent guidance of course. A good part of the past few days has been spent moving Chakotay's belongings here to my house. Our house now. Our home. I looked around today and I could see Chakotay's presence everywhere. The table he and Gerron built, the holos of his family on the mantle next to those of my family, the sky shaded throw draped over the couch. His things are mingled with mine now, and I felt a rush of warmth at the knowledge that our lives have merged as one. And I realized how little this house I've been living in had felt like a home. Not like my house on Earth, or even my quarters on Voyager. I thought it was because Aurora didn't feel like home to me. Perhaps that was part of it. But it was also because I was alone within these walls, so separate from everyone else. I only spent enough time here to shower and to sleep. But today, for the first time, I was anxious to get back here. To be home, with Chakotay. And finally Aurora feels like my home now also. A place where I can be happy. Maybe even happier in some ways than I would have been in the Alpha quadrant pursuing my career in Starfleet. That was what I've always believed I wanted, even if it was at the expense of other, more personal, pursuits. And it was giving me a great deal of satisfaction. But there are many different kinds of success, different kinds of happiness. And different ways to leave your mark. That became clear to me when Chakotay and I were stranded in the mountains last week- that what I can have here can be every bit as fulfilling as any amount of awards and accolades I could have amassed in Starfleet. Perhaps even more so. So I find myself actually looking forward to my life here on Aurora, with Chakotay, and with those who were my crew, and who are now my friends and family. I know now that losing Voyager didn't steal the future away from me, or from them. We still have a future, it is simply a different one. What we are founding here will endure, for a very long time. And strangely, though I know that to be true, I find it doesn't concern me as it once did. I was only going through the motions for a while, but I've finally realized that simply being alive, and livingeach moment, is enough. I'm more than content to savor those moments, and the moments after, whatever may come. As a friend recently told me, the future will take care of itself. It always does. Those who would see these pages centuries later, yellowed by the passage of time, would also see the accurately drawn sketches on the attached page. One of a large, standing bear-like animal, first observed by the founders in the subarctic climes of Aurora, and later accorded the protection of nature preserves befitting its rare status. And one of a cave carved into a mountainside, with a small craft, an ancient type of shuttle used by the founders, parked outside. And one of a pendant, the color of gold, with blue stones arranged in the shape of a diamond and joined by a minutely drawn filigree design. Its origin and its meaning to the founders were never identified, except by one, who kept the knowledge to himself. But the beauty of the design, and its apparent ancient origin, mysterious with unknown symbolism, was so captivating to the later inhabitants of Aurora, that it was no surprise when it was unveiled at the charter ratification ceremony as the seal of the New Galactic Federation. -- The End (of the story), but just the beginning for Aurora --- Author's final note: In this story I mentioned that Harry and his little band played Tom and B'Elanna's wedding songs at their wedding, but I didn't mention the songs by name. I have my own ideas about what songs Tom and B'Elanna might choose, based on my own personal tastes and music preferences, which run to soft rock and country, and which of course cannot go beyond the 20th century. I might pick "I Swear" by John Michael Montgomery as Tom's song to B'Elanna (basically, Tom's promise to B'Elanna). And for B'Elanna's song to Tom, I lean toward "You Are The Love Of My Life" by Sammy Kershaw, which is very emotional, but in many ways very fitting. But since I didn't identify the titles of the wedding songs in the body of the story, the reader is welcome to entertain his/her own ideas and preferences. When you send me feedback on this story ;-), feel free to tell me what songs YOU think Tom and B'Elanna would choose for their wedding.