The BLTS Archive - In another lifetime. . . 
by Entipy of Nothing (shayna13@gmail.com)

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I remember the cottage in the woods. The quiet, firelit rooms, so cozy
at night with the stars reflecting off the river through the treetops.
I used to sit there, sometimes meditating, sometimes just thinking,
with Bajoran music playing in the background, waiting. I'm not sure
what I was waiting for. It was so peaceful, but there always seemed to
be something missing. Maybe I'll never find it. Maybe it was lost
before I was even born, torn apart by war and violence. Maybe that's
part of being Bajoran.

Bajor is quiet now, almost too quiet. It'll be good to get away for a
while. Away from the constant pressure. I love my work, but it can get
stressful. The only thing I won't be able to escape is the child
growing in my womb. Miles' child.

I know if he comes with me I won't be able to restrain myself; neither
of us will. I can see the pain in his eyes, and I'm no longer sure if
the pain within myself is physical or spiritual. Odo was right. We
both knew it. I can tell Miles knows too; the attraction is there, but
we're both denying it, which is probably a good thing. In the long
run.

/In another lifetime. . . / maybe something would have come of our
feelings.But we both have other lives. He stands across the small
room, so close and yet so far away. "Miles," I say softly, wishing it
could be different. He stares at me, understanding what I'm about to
say and yet not understanding. His confusion and mine are entwined.
"Get out of here."

It is another long, hard moment before he murmurs, "Right," and, the
pain still in his eyes, he turns away. Part of me is relieved. I'll go
to the capital and see Shakaar. He'll help me. I love him, I really
do. But this is different. The shadow of another lifetime, the echo of
what might have been.

Jadzia's voice comes over the intercom. "You're cleared to leave,
Major."

Without a word I power up the impulse engines and pull out of the
docking ring. I can feel the baby kicking inside me.

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The End