The BLTS Archive- If Only Time Stood Still
by Emony (ro_laren@my-deja.com)

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*Disclaimer: Odo, Kira, and changelings in general belong to
Paramount.  The author does not intend to infringe, only to pay
tribute.  No profit will be made by posting this story.

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The emerald plains of Bajor surround me as I make the sojourn to your
resting place.  The sky cerulean blue with not a hint of cloud, the
sun shining gloriously, a perfect, beautiful day.  Paling in 
comparison to the beauty now contained in it's soil, but beautiful 
enough.

If only I could enjoy the glory of this place, this day, where so many
others live carefree and happy.  Those that you fought for, and in the
end, that you died for.

But my day, and those for the rest of my existence, is dark and cold.

The marble that marks your place in the earth is stark white, perhaps
bleached in the sun of many other days such as this.  I run a hand
over the letters, blacker than night, that can never hope to express 
the real person behind the name scrawled on the stone.  The person
imprisoned now forever in the earth.

You would tell me you are with the Prophets now, if you could speak to
me.  I only wish I believed that I would join you with those Prophets
one day.  But I am somewhat of a god myself, and I don't think your
Prophets would have me.  I only hope you will be happy, wherever
they've taken you.

You always hated flowers, so it is with a wry smile that I lay these
near the stone.  It seems the thing to do, as I must leave something
to show you I came.

Nerys . . . if only I hadn't left you.  The Great Link was where I
belonged, it was my home, but that wasn't worth the loss of your
companionship.

If only I'd come back to you.  But my people needed to learn from me,
and there was so much to teach.  Time stood still for me there.

I guess it didn't stand still for you.

There are things about me that set me far apart from the other
Changelings . . . ones you knew well.  I have a new one to add to the
list . . . I am the only Changeling ever to mourn.

I know now why my people do not involve themselves in the lives of
solids.  It is not because you are inconsequential, because you alone
played the most pivotal role in my life.

It is because of this, dearest Nerys: the life of a Changeling is
nearly endless . . . time has almost no meaning at all.  But you, you
solids, leave us after too short a time.  Then, time becomes
meaningful.  The near eternity that a Changeling lives is spent
tormented by longing for a person who will never exist again.

At least, it is that way for this Changeling.

I leave you now, though I feel I should sit vigil a thousand years to
make up for the years I robbed you of, robbed myself of.  Precious
time . . . lost forever, and I only now realize it.

I never stopped loving you a day, and rest assured that you will live
for many years more in my memory.  I will tell everyone I can how
magnificent a creature you were, you still are, in my mind.

Rest well, you deserve it.

I will never rest as well again.

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The End