The BLTS Archive - Real Affection
by DianeB

---

SUMMARY/NOTES: Written in April, 2001. This story takes
place soon after the episode, "Author, Author," but is based
on the events of "Human Error." I felt the call to write a
Chakotay/Seven story mainly because some of my webfriends
said it could never happen. Having been the victim of sudden
rushes of desire for a person I'd been seeing every day, I
speak truthfully when I say, oh yes, it very well could
happen. Add to this the fact that Voyager's rumor mill must
be working 24/7 by now, and well, there ya have it.

---

Chakotay was nobody's fool, but he could be a little blind
at times. Sometimes it was out of necessity, other times it
was because he just plain didn't see it. It took his
subconscious a couple of weeks to get through to him, but
when it did, it hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks,
right there in the corridor as he was heading from the mess
hall to his quarters.

I'll be damned, he thought, stopping abruptly, allowing a
smile to inch across his face. Puzzling occurrences of the
past several weeks suddenly crystallized, as did a few of
the rumors. Voyager was a fish bowl in the most obvious
sense. Absolutely nothing remained unseen for very long,
especially the things that should.

He wasn't sure he was happy to have figured this one out,
but on the other hand, he wasn't exactly wringing his hands
in despair. His smile kicked up a notch as something else
occurred to him, something his twisted sense of humor
wickedly appreciated: If the rumors were even remotely true,
he was getting to be quite the popular guy - at least on the
holodeck.

His next thought, brightened by his last, was "what the
hell," and he changed directions.

---

Seven-of-Nine was in Astrometrics with Icheb, trying to
think of a way to keep one step ahead of the boy. It was
becoming an increasingly arduous task, so much so that she
was considering asking the Doctor to check her cortical node
again. But she knew she wasn't malfunctioning. As Tom Paris
phrased it, the kid was a wiz.

At that moment, she heard the doors open behind her and was
grateful for whatever distraction the sound might afford.
She spun on her heel to face the last person she wanted to
see and was immediately availed of another Tom Paris idiom:
Be careful what you wish for.

A subtle flick of her implant-brow. "Commander."

He graced her with a rare, dimpled smile and an even rarer
tilt of his head. "Seven, still working Icheb to death?
Shouldn't you both be off duty now?"

Before she could come up with a response, Icheb spoke.

"I'm sorry, sir, it was my fault. I insisted Seven show me
the level-ten diagnostic codes before we ended today's
session. I did not realize how late it was." He actually
snapped to attention, staring straight ahead blankly.

Seven was astounded, or as astounded as she ever allowed
herself to be. In a rare flash of humor, she wondered how
soon she could be promoted to Commander.

Chakotay merely seemed amused by this display. "At ease,
Icheb. I hear Naomi's been after you for a kadis-kot
rematch."

Icheb smiled a little smugly and rocked on his heels.
"She'll never beat me."

"Never say never. She's in the mess right now, setting up
the board. I told her if I saw you I'd issue the challenge."

Icheb rolled his eyes towards Seven. She cocked her head and
raised her implant brow at him. "You are dismissed, Icheb.
We can finish the codes tomorrow." And almost as an
afterthought, she added, "You did very well today."

He cocked his head and smiled, blissfully unaware that he
had mimicked her perfectly. "Thank you, Seven," and
disappeared through the doors.

Seven turned back to Chakotay, resisting an odd desire to
sigh. "Thank you, Commander."

Chakotay clearly heard the sigh and the emphasis that
indicated how sharp her sense of humor was becoming, but he
also consciously noticed for the first time how she seemed
to be holding herself away from him. "What's wrong, Seven,
Icheb getting the better of you?"

"He is very..." She searched for a word, coming up with only
one that fit. "...efficient." She realized she was
dangerously close to the "small talk," she had been
studiously trying to avoid with the Commander over the past
few weeks and hoped he would soon be on his way. She
wondered, in fact, why he was here in the first place.

"I'll just bet. Maybe I can talk B'Elanna into taking him
off your hands for a few days. We can use her pregnancy as
an excuse for needing an extra pair of hands. If I catch her
at the right moment, she might even admit it's true. How's
that sound?"

"That would be acceptable, Commander. It will give me the
time I need to formulate additional lesson plans."

"Consider it done."

She expected Chakotay to say his farewells and leave, but he
did not. Uncharacteristically, he continued to stand there,
as if he wanted to say something more but couldn't decide
what. She was herself unsure what to do and because of it
felt an unaccustomed heat rise to her face. This
physiological response was a blush, she knew, and she did
not care for it at all. This was not like her holodeck
simulation, and even if it were, she never once blushed in
the presence of the holo-version of Chakotay. This would
definitely not do. The Doctor said she could not risk
emotional stimulation of this kind.

Wait a minute, of what kind? She had been extremely
professional around Chakotay these past couple of weeks. She
had even gone so far as to attend various and sundry crew
gatherings as he had suggested, each time maintaining a
careful distance from him if he was in attendance. Except
for this exchange, there had been no "small talk" at all.
So, no, she told herself firmly, there was no "emotional
stimulation."

As far as she knew, Chakotay had no idea he had been the
subject of her romantic intentions on the holodeck, despite
what the rumor mill had to say. She learned the hard way
during her first year aboard how fast the rumor mill could
grind - and how it could sometimes be alarmingly on target.
It wasn't that the Doctor betrayed doctor/patient
confidentiality or anything so insidious as that. It was
just that the mill seemed to have a life of its own - a very
fulfilling and satisfying life. It never occurred to her -
as it hadn't during the first year - that her own actions,
especially with regard to Commander Chakotay, would
contribute heavily to the rumors. She only knew that right
now she wanted to be away from him and opened her mouth to
speak.

Unfortunately, Chakotay spoke at the same time.

"Commander..."

"Seven..."

---

Chakotay, feeling a little like Icheb, rushed to get the
words out before Seven put him soundly in his place for
making her blush. He'd already figured out what he would
ask, knowing she was done with things like dinner and
dancing. That thought brought him up short and tied his
tongue for another minute. Spirits, he felt a lot like
Icheb! This was no way to confirm a rumor, if that's what he
was honestly trying to do, but it was a bit too late to stop
now. This no longer felt as much like "what the hell" as it
had only a few minutes ago. So when, he wondered, did his
feelings change?

Chak, old man, you've fallen in it now and - look at her!
She's ready to beat you black and blue and all you can see
are her damned pink cheeks. Before he could allow his
thoughts to stray any further, he screwed up his courage and
spit the words out.

"Would you care to walk with me in the airponics bay? Noah's
just finished the path through the roses, and I promised
Neelix I'd pick a few Talaxian tomatoes for tomorrow's
spaghetti sauce." A pang of regret, just a little pang,
stabbed him as he mentioned the tomatoes, but he neatly
reined it in, placing it carefully back in the corner of his
heart where he kept all things related to Kathryn Janeway.
He was so caught up in his thoughts, he nearly missed
Seven's acceptance.

"...to see what Noah Lessing has done, and I hear Neelix's
spaghetti sauce is one of the few dishes he does not enhance
with leola root." She paused, and he saw a ripple of what he
could only describe as uncertainty pass through her. Then
she forged on. "It is a...date, Commander."

He grimaced inwardly, thinking that was probably not the
right way to put it, but she had, and he couldn't exactly
deny it.

---

Seven was suspicious of Chakotay's invitation at first, but
she dismissed it after taking a good hard look at him. He
seemed to retreat inside himself after mentioning the
Talaxian tomatoes, and she wasn't sure how else to bring him
around but to say something. In spite of not wanting to be
anywhere near him, she decided she must accept, since he
might truly become suspicious if she refused at this point.
Before exiting Astrometrics with him, she allowed a
half-second's thought to the complexities of being human and
another to the fact that she was thinking about humanity's
complexities at all.

---

In the arboretum, Chakotay placed his shallow basket full of
tomatoes on the floor and turned to the young woman beside
him. During their walk on the path around the roses, she
said very little, answering him only when asked a direct
question, and then using words of one syllable.

"Noah's done a great job in here, hasn't he?"

"Yes."

"What do you think of the roses?"

"Fragrant."

"How's the temperature in here?"

"Fine."

He finally couldn't stand it anymore. "How 'bout I lob a
tomato at that implant of yours?"

That got a rise out of her, or at least out of her eyebrow.
"Commander?"

He sighed. Might as well not beat around the bush. They were
alone in the bay, and she certainly never hesitated to speak
her mind. "Call me Chakotay while we're taking a walk in
airponics, okay?"

She nodded and he continued. "Listen, I couldn't help but
notice you've been avoiding me lately and speaking only when
necessary about ship's business. Did I do something to
offend you?"

This got a clear physical reaction. Color rose sharply to
her face again and he could sense a flight response, which
he determined he would not allow.

"Commander, I am sorry. I must go." Before she could make a
move to turn from him, he took hold of her arm.

"Chakotay, remember? And you accepted my invitation to come
here, so stay here and tell me."

She shook her arm free but was no longer poised to flee.
"Tell you what?"

"Whatever is bothering you." Might as well go for broke.
"About me."

Her Borg confidence was nearly gone. "There is...nothing
'bothering' me about you."

He smiled and tilted his head, feeling a little like he was
in one of Jenn Delany's ridiculous romance holonovels. "And
you're a worse liar than B'Elanna." He paused to switch
paths. Why in the universe had he started this? He really
did not want to put her on the spot so thoroughly. It was
unfair, anyway, since his own heart was pounding like a
tribal drum. Time to extract them both from this supremely
uncomfortable situation.

"Ah, Seven, forget I asked. You know how it can be on this
ship. I've been listening to too many rumors. Let's get
these to Neelix, shall we?" He bent to pick up the tomatoes,
but as he did, she placed her implant-hand on his shoulder.
He froze and did not look up.

"Commander, there is something I must...share...with you."

To his credit, he tried to stop her. "No, Seven, I've been
out of line this evening. It's not necessary..." But she
went on as if she hadn't heard him.

"Three weeks ago, when I was...abusing...my holodeck
privileges..." She did not bother to pretend he did not know
at least this much. "...I created a holodeck program that
included a simulation of...you. And I used you as a romantic
interest, in an attempt to enhance my social skills. But
I...malfunctioned. If it is any consolation to you, I
learned from the Doctor that there is a Borg fail-safe
device in my cortical node that prevents me from any kind of
real-life emotional stimulation. He said it was probably
just one more way the Queen had of controlling the drones. I
destroyed my program at that time, and I am very sorry I
used you in that manner. I can assure you, it will not
happen again."

She did not have to tell him this, even though it pretty
much confirmed one of the rumors - except that part about
the Borg device. The rest - her using him as a romantic
interest - he could deal with later, if at all, but the
device part he could address right now, because it disturbed
him far more than the idea of his holographic image being
used in such a way by Seven-of-Nine. Hadn't she already
experienced plenty of emotional stimulation? Grief, joy,
fear, anger, guilt, even paranoia? He straightened and faced
her, voicing his disbelief.

"Now wait a minute, Seven, that device, that just can't be
right. What did the Doctor say, exactly?" He knew her
eidetic memory would allow her to repeat the Doctor's words
verbatim. Perhaps she had misinterpreted what he had said.

"He said the device is designed to shut down my higher brain
functions when I achieve certain emotional stimulation."

Ah, so "certain emotional stimulation" could mean only one
thing. Spirits, he knew the Borg Queen was cruel, but he
never thought she could maintain such intimate control of a
drone even when it was no longer a drone. He wondered if
this device was in every drone, as the Doctor must have
assumed, or only in a chosen few? He wouldn't put it past
the Queen to pick and choose.

"There must be something the Doctor can do. I can't believe
he didn't have an idea or two."

She had been looking directly at him during this
conversation, but now she turned her head. No color rose
this time, but he did see another striking emotional
display. Her eyes filled with tears.

Gently, he took her chin in his hand and turned her head
slowly back to him. She blinked, and two tears trailed down
her cheeks. This woman made of steel was so fragile. "What
is it, Seven? Is there nothing the Doctor can do?"

"No...Commander," she said, removing his hand from her face.
"There is something he can do. He has, in fact, already
advised me of the procedure. He said it would be difficult
but that it would eventually succeed."

He studied her. She had regained her Borg countenance almost
completely, standing rigidly before him with her chin up,
hands clasped behind her back. Only the telltale stains of
the tears gave away any humanity.

He tried to lighten the mood. "Well, then, what're we
standing around here for? Let's beam you right to Sickb--."

She swallowed convulsively. "No."

He was not surprised by her negative response, but he
couldn't imagine why she wouldn't want to be free of a
device that would not allow her her sexual expression. "Why
not?"

"It is all for the best, Commander, as the fail-safe device
will ensure that I am no longer...distracted...by things
other than my duties, nor will I be tempted to create
holocharacters in the image of fellow crewman for
personal...intimacies."

If it had been anyone else but Seven, he would have checked
her palms for nail holes. But it wasn't anyone else. She was
absolutely certain this was the only way, the only choice
she had.

He hadn't realized he was touching her face again, until he
felt her human hand close around his wrist. But this time
she didn't remove his hand from her face, she just held hers
there, around his wrist. Her hand was warm. Her cheek was
warm.

"No, Seven," he whispered. "The fail-safe device will only
ensure that you'll never have your freedom to live and to
love as a human being. Sure, you may make a few bad
decisions along the way, but at least you won't die because
of them. Do you understand the difference?"

His face was so close to hers he could feel her breath, and
he knew this was the exact kind of "certain emotional
stimulation" she must avoid if she did not allow the Doctor
his procedure.

This close, he was not sure he could avoid it and struggled
to pull himself away from her. But she held fast to his
wrist, applying pressure enough to produce just a twinge of
discomfort, and slid his hand further along her cheek, so
his fingers brushed the starburst implant by her ear. She
voiced his thoughts, throaty, low.

"'Certain emotional stimulation' of this sort will have to
be avoided unless I allow the Doctor to perform surgery on
me."

He thought she was letting him off this unbelievably erotic
hook he had managed to snag himself on, but it was nothing
of the sort. Just before she kissed him, she said,
"Experimentation on the holodeck has taught me I have
several hours' worth of warning before my higher brain
functions begin to shut down."

---

The End