The BLTS Archive - Regrets
by Devorephile (Devorephile@hotmail.com)

---

Kathryn Janeway sat at her desk sipping her second cup of coffee since
lunch, even though she knew it would make her even more restless. She
had been perusing charts of the space they would soon be traversing,
contemplating how little they knew about it and wondering if the
relative quiet of the past few weeks would continue.

The computer bleeped as a communications channel opened. "Ensign Kim
to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead, Harry."

"Ma'am, I think you should come out here. I'm detecting a transwarp
signature about a half light-year from here."

"On my way."

---

"Report."

"Shields are raised." Chakotay was studying his monitor intently as
Janeway entered the bridge. He looked up at her approach and vacated
the command chair. "But it doesn't look like a Borg energy signature."

Janeway's eyebrows inched upward at her first officer's statement. She
turned towards OPS. "Harry?"

"Stand by... the conduit is opening now." Harry's brow furrowed. 
"Captain, it's a Federation probe! And it's looking for *us*!"

---
Three weeks later...


Janeway studied the motionless stars on the viewscreen as Voyager
hovered in space. "B'Elanna, are you ready down there?"

"We sure are, Captain. Starfleet's technical specifications were quite
complete. We even have Seven's approval."

"I can think of no better recommendation." Janeway rose from her chair
and began to pace. "You're probably all expecting an inspiring
speech." She briefly caught the gaze of each person on the bridge.
"But I'm just as impatient as you are. Mr. Paris, your course is laid
in?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Then engage the transwarp drive. Let's go home."

---
One year later, on Earth...


Admiral Jean Luc Picard watched Kathryn Janeway solidify in front of
him as the twinkle of the transporter faded. He approached her with a
smile.

"Welcome home, Captain."

Janeway returned the smile and shook Picard's hand. "We're very glad
to be here, Admiral. And I have an impatient crew that is eager to get
the debriefing process over with."

"Understandable. We will certainly try to expedite the process."
Picard motioned towards the exit. "I thought you would enjoy the walk
over to Command."

Janeway fell into step beside him. "That's very thoughtful of you. The
coming days will probably not allow much time to simply enjoy being
here."

Picard nodded solemnly. "The disposition of your Maquis crewmembers
must take precedence. The Federation Council will have the final say,
of course, but I have recommended full pardons, and others have as
well."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"Our first order of business will be a summary of events that have
taken place in your absence. The highlights you already know - the
Dominion War, the transwarp technology, things that Starfleet felt
comfortable transmitting over subspace. However, there are additional
items of a more sensitive nature that we need to discuss."

Janeway nodded. "I expected as much."

She looked around at the bustle of activity as they approached a
shade-dappled courtyard, then noted a familiar figure not far ahead -
Reginald Barclay. Following what had become known as the 'Barclay
Contact', Mr. Barclay had personally worked on the project to bring
Voyager home.

"Excuse me for a moment, Admiral. There's someone I'd like to thank."

"Captain, perhaps..." His words were lost as Janeway plowed across the
pavement. He quickly followed her.

Janeway noted absently that Barclay was conversing with a tall man in
a black cloak. Something about the dark hair and silvered temples
seemed familiar, but she ignored the feeling for the moment. There
would be a many reaquaintances on tap in the near future.

"Commander Barclay!" Janeway smiled broadly at the engineer as she
approached.

"Captain Janeway!" Barclay beamed as he recognized her. "It... It's a
real honor. Welcome home."

"Thank you, and congratulations on your promotion. I..." Janeway
reached to shake his hand, then froze as the other man also turned.

The Admiral's voice sounded very far away. "Please, Captain, allow me
to introduce Ambassador Kashyk..."

"... of the Devore Imperium." Janeway finished, her voice cold and
flat.

Kashyk bowed slightly. "No longer of the Imperium, Captain. I now
represent a small group of defectors and refugees. The Federation has
been kind enough to accept us as new residents." He turned to the
Admiral. "Captain Janeway and I have met."

"Ah... yes, I'm aware..." Picard stammered uncomfortably as he
gestured Barclay away with a glance. The timid engineer wasted no time
beating a hasty retreat.

Janeway didn't break her steely gaze with Kashyk as she spoke.
"Admiral, may I speak with you privately?"

"I was about to suggest precisely that. Ambassador, will you please
excuse us?"

Kashyk nodded solemnly. "Certainly. Captain, perhaps we'll have a
chance to speak later?"

Janeway regarded him silently. "Perhaps." She held his eye for a
moment longer, then strode purposefully down the sidewalk towards the
Admiralty.

Picard watched her, wondering when he had lost control of the
situation. Then he followed, leaving the bemused Ambassador to look
after both of them.

---

"Captain..." Picard took long strides as he tried to catch up with
Janeway without the indignity of running.

Incensed, Janeway threw her hands in the air as she walked. "Admiral,
you can't possibly trust Kashyk! That man is part of a..."

"Slow down, *Captain*." Picard emphasized her rank as he caught up,
stepping slightly in front of Janeway and forcing her to come to a
halt.

He straightened and tugged at his uniform as he caught his breath..
"We are aware of the history of the Devore Imperium. We studied your
logs extensively. But a great many things have changed in the past few
years, and there hasn't yet been time to brief you on all of them."

Janeway composed herself, flashing the Admiral an apologetic look.
"Yes sir. Brief me regarding... ?"

"On how Starfleet was able to perfect the transwarp technology."

"Our scientists have been studying it for years. That, coupled with
the scientific data we provided from the Borg transwarp coil... I had
assumed that it was a logical outcome."

"That is partly correct." Picard paced slightly, hands clasped behind
him. "However, there was another significant contribution." He stopped
and faced Janeway, meeting her questioning gaze.

"I'm listening."

"Captain, perhaps it would be best if you read the full briefing.
Shall we continue to my office?"

---

Seated at Picard's desk, Kathryn Janeway read in skeptical amazement
as she absorbed the events of the past two years.

Picard crossed the room to the replicator. "Tea?"

"Coffee, thank you... black." Janeway replied absently as she
continued to read.

Apparently scientists in the Devore Imperium had developed transwarp
technology a few years earlier. According to the official command
briefing, Kashyk had continued to work as an Inspector for a while,
biding his time and waiting for the right opportunity, discreetly
helping refugees when he could in the interim. Eventually he stole the
transwarp designs along with a prototype ship, then liberated a
sizable group of dissidents and telepathic refugees. They plotted a
course for Federation space, intending to turn over the ship and its
technology in return for asylum.

Picard placed a steaming mug next to Janeway's elbow, then seated
himself across from her.

"When the Devore vessel appeared in Federation space, Starfleet was,
of course, skeptical. Your logs, as you know, contained detailed
information on the Devore Imperium and it's policies, and particularly
the activities of one 'Inspector Kashyk.'" Picard sipped at his tea.
"We escorted the vessel to Earth, where the passengers were separately
debriefed. All of them gave the same account of events."

"So, we have the Devore Imperium to thank for getting us home."

"In a manner of speaking, I suppose. But Captain..." Picard lowered
his tea and looked pointedly at Janeway. "Ambassador Kashyk is the
person who is directly responsible for your return."

---

The "Devore Embassy" was in reality a small office overlooking San
Francisco Bay. Kashyk was looking out the window as Janeway entered.

"It's a beautiful planet, Captain. I can understand why you were so
determined to bring Voyager home." He turned and gave her a small
smile. "You're looking well. And your crew?"

"We've had a few mishaps along the way." Janeway crossed her arms and
smiled sarcastically.

Kashyk smirked as he crossed his arms in mimicry and sat on the edge
of his desk. "I can see that the Admiral's debriefing hasn't changed
your opinion of me."

"You're still an arrogant bastard."

"Name-calling is beneath you, Kathryn."

She gave him a sharp look at the use of her first name, then waved a
hand impatiently. "It's a colloquialism. I'm really not interested in
your familial history."

"Shall we get to the point?"

"Certainly. You betrayed us!"

"Are you forgetting? I let you go!"

"Only to save face with the Imperium!"

Kashyk chuckled, shaking his head. "Voyager and the wormhole data
would have been a fine prize. Letting a few telepaths escape wouldn't
have hurt my career much."

"You told Prax where to find the telepaths!" Kathryn walked to the
window, determinedly placing her hands on her hips.

"He already knew... or he thought he did. I didn't believe for a
second that you'd hide them using the cargo bay transporter again."
Kashyk stood and moved to stand beside her, looking down at her
intently. "You're much more resourceful than that."

Kathryn stubbornly met his gaze. "You seemed quite satisfied with your
victory during the last inspection."

"What were your words?" Kashyk looked out the window, remembering. "I
believe you said, 'You gave a masterful performance.'" He smiled down
at her. "I had to convince you too, Kathryn, lest Prax discover my
deception. He's quite perceptive."

"And I'm supposed to believe that you were helping us all along?"

"It was the only way."

"You could have *told* me."

"Kathryn..." Kashyk took her by the shoulders. "You know that Voyager
could not have withstood the attack of two Devore warships. You and
your crew would have been captured and arrested. If Prax had
discovered me on board, the results would have been worse - he
probably would have killed both of us. The same if he had discovered
that I was deceiving him after I returned to the fleet. This way, both
Voyager and the Brenari escaped." He touched her cheek lightly with
his fingertips. "*You* escaped."

Kathryn flinched away. "And on the bridge, when it was over? We were
alone... you could have told me."

He smiled at her affectionately. "Would you have believed me?"

She could feel her anger and determination starting to ebb away. "No,
" she whispered, shaking her head slightly. "No."

"And now?" Kashyk put his hand back to her cheek, quietly looking into
her eyes. He traced her lips lightly with his thumb.

Kathryn closed her eyes and shuddered slightly, her emotions in
turmoil. How could she still be attracted to this man who had so
nearly cost them their freedom, perhaps even their lives?

She opened her eyes to find him suddenly kissing her, gently at first,
then with barely restrained hunger. His hands slid around her back,
pulling her tightly to him. She felt her body respond immediately,
instinctively returning his passion. Then rational thought kicked in,
and she pushed away, breathless.

"I don't know." Slowly, she backed towards the door, her gaze locked
with his. "I don't *know*." She made a hasty escape as the door slid
open.

--

The official reception to welcome the crew of Voyager home was a gala
affair. Not only had the Federation Council pardoned the former
Maquis; Starfleet Command had gone one step further and made their
field commissions permanent. Kathryn noted that some of them had worn
dress uniforms. She herself was becoming very tired of official
business, and had opted for a semi-formal dress.

Strobes of light hit her and media reporters scrambled as Picard
escorted her into the crowded reception hall. She made some
perfunctory statements as she scanned the room. The Doctor was holding
court in one area, showing off his mobile emitter and telling stories
about his adventures. Dr. Zimmerman, noticeably older and balder than
the hologram, stood nearby with a frown on his face. Tuvok conversed
quietly with another Vulcan, presumably the current Ambassador to the
Federation. Harry Kim was introducing his parents to Seven of Nine.

Spotting Chakotay chatting quietly with Tom and B'Elanna, Janeway made
her excuses and moved to join them. The media crew quickly spotted the
former Borg drone and scurried away towards her.

"It seems we're quite the center of attention." Chakotay's eyes
twinkled as he handed Kathryn a glass of champagne.

"That's an understatement. This is a madhouse." She took an
appreciative sip of the bubbly liquid. "I'll be glad when it's all
over and we can go visit friends and family." She eyeballed Tom. "Have
you seen your father?"

Paris grinned sheepishly. "He was... effusive."

Torres punched him in the arm. "He's *proud* of you, Tom! Enjoy it!"
She turned to Janeway. "Captain, is it true about the transwarp
design? And about that p'tahk Kashyk?"

Kathryn drew in a breath and looked sideways at Chakotay. "Yes,
apparently it is." "It's pretty hard to believe." Chakotay looked
thoughtful. "But hard to dispute."

Torres snorted. "I don't care if it *is* true. I don't have to like
it, and I *certainly* won't socialize with the man."

Kathryn fought not to let her surprise show as the banter continued
around her. Kashyk was *here*? She quickly scanned the room. There he
was, talking to Picard, Barclay, and a woman that she thought was
Deanna Troi. The irony of that hit her hard. If a Betazoid counselor
was comfortable talking with him... The woman abruptly looked around
at her, and Kathryn averted her gaze.

"Kathryn?"

"Hmm?" Chakotay was offering to refill her glass. "Oh, yes, please."

"Captain?" Harry Kim inserted himself into the group. "I'd like you to
meet my parents..."

As the evening wore on and Kathryn concentrated on the reception
guests, she was almost able to put Kashyk out of her mind.

---

Hours later, an exhausted Kathryn Janeway managed to slip out of the
reception hall unnoticed. The quiet evening enveloped her as she made
her way through the dark onto the patio. She stopped and looked up at
the stars - familiar, yet so different through Earth's atmosphere.
Tomorrow she would see her mother and sister. It almost didn't seem
real. She pulled her wrap more tightly around her as the breeze
stirred.

"Looking for the Aurora Borealis?"

Kathryn jumped at the familiar voice.

"I apologize if I startled you." Kashyk emerged from the shadows. "It
was clear that not everyone welcomed me inside. The respect and love
that they all feel for you is astounding... but understandable."

"I'll miss them. Many will be going their respective ways now."

"And you?"

"I haven't decided."

"You look beautiful." Kashyk stepped around her so that the light from
the windows fell on his face. His dark eyes were sincere. "About the
other day..."

Kathryn's nipples began to harden, and she didn't think it was from
the breeze. God, what was it about this man that excited her so? She
shook her head quickly, tried to concentrate on the conversation.
"It's just too soon. I have a lot to absorb..."

Kashyk nodded. "I know. But... you're shivering - here." He removed
his jacket and placed it around her shoulders.

Before she knew what she was doing, Kathryn turned into his arms.
Looking directly up into his surprised face, she whispered, "Thank
you."

His masculine warmth and strong arms made her head swim. He looked at
her with longing, but she realized that he wasn't going to kiss her
again. Not this time. She hated him for that, for putting the ball in
her court, for making her be the one to take action. Taking his face
in her hands, she cursed him softly.

"Damn you."

He chuckled at her, and then she wanted him desperately. So she kissed
him, deeply, running her tongue into his mouth and her fingers into
his hair, pressing her body against his, leaving no mistake as to her
intent.

He returned her embrace passionately, placing one arm around her
shoulders and running his other hand other along the smooth fabric of
her dress, promising more intimate touches to come. She could feel his
arousal pressing against her pelvis, and suddenly the night air was
very warm.

After a moment, Kashyk pulled away, grasping Kathryn's upper arms.
"Shall we go somewhere more private? Before the media finds us?"

She nodded breathlessly and let him pull her away into the dark.

---

Kashyk had a small flat in a building next to the "Embassy." It was a
short enough walk that Kathryn didn't have much time for second
thoughts, had she been inclined to do so. Suddenly they were there,
and Kashyk quickly secured the door of the darkened apartment.
Kathryn's head spun as he began to make love to her in earnest,
placing one hand on her buttocks and pulling her tightly against him
as he murmured her name repeatedly against her neck. His kisses were
desperate with long-restrained passion, and she shuddered as one warm
hand found her breast and began to massage the swollen nipple through
the silky fabric of her dress.

He groaned softly as she returned his ardor, nipping softly at his
neck and sliding one hand inside his shirt to caress the soft hair on
his chest. As she found a nipple of her own to fondle, Kashyk gave a
low laugh of pure delight and swept her easily into his arms, carrying
her into a bedroom dappled with moonlight from a large window. He set
her down to stand at arm's length, letting his eyes rove
appreciatively over her body. She gave him a small smile and reached
for his hand, guiding it back to the thin strap of her gown.

His voice was soft. "Kathryn, is there a name for this particular
shade of red?" He indicated the gown as he slid his fingers under the
strap and began to work it off her shoulder.

Kathryn felt almost drugged as she leaned into his touch, allowing him
to caress her shoulder. "Hmm... burgundy, I suppose."

"Like the wine. It looks lovely on you."

"I see that you've already discovered some of Earth's finer
pleasures."

"But I have not partaken of the finest... until now."

"Sex?"

Kashyk's hands slid around her back and expertly undid her gown,
letting it fall to her feet with a soft swish. He shook his head and
leaned in for another kiss before he spoke.

"Kathryn Janeway."

Kathryn let her hands roam over his body as he kissed her, quickly
pushing his shirt off his strong shoulders and raking her fingernails
lightly down his back. Her breathing was becoming more rapid and
shallow, and she could already feel a pleasant tingle beginning deep
inside her.

He quickly turned her around, pulling her backside against his arousal
and cupping a breast in one hand as he nuzzled the sensitive area
under one ear. "So delicate... and yet so strong." The hand holding
her against him slid deliciously towards her pubis. "Kathryn, you
intoxicate me."

She bucked against him involuntarily as his fingers found her engorged
clitoris, sending her immediately towards climax. "Ahhh... too soon...
*Kashyk*..."

"Shhh... it is only the first of many tonight..."

"Oh... GOD..." Kathryn exploded into orgasm, her inner muscles
spasming intensely.

Kashyk slid a finger quickly inside her and groaned as he felt the
strength of her contractions. He caught her as her knees buckled, and
laid her gently on the bed, feathering her body with light kisses and
removing the rest of her clothing as she regained her bearings.

She smiled up at him as her eyes fluttered open, then she began to run
one finger just inside the waistband of his trousers. He knelt beside
her and guided her hand to his bulging erection. She continued to
trace it with her fingertips, lightly at first, then more firmly as he
undid his pants to allow her better access.

Kashyk smiled as Kathryn became impatient, pushing to remove the rest
of his clothing. He quickly divested himself of it, then moved to
hover over her, slowly lowering his body into full contact with hers.
Suddenly he found himself flipped on his back, with Kathryn astride
his thighs.

"Surprise." Now it was her turn to admire his body, running her hands
again over the soft hair on his chest, then down towards his slim,
powerful hips. His erection twitched as she massaged around it,
exploring.

He raised his eyebrows at her, watching her intently. She grinned
craftily at him, then lowered her head towards his penis, taking it
into her mouth, just the tip at first, then working her way along the
hard length of it. Kashyk grunted softly as he wove his fingers into
her hair, encouraging her at first, then pulling her away as he came
close to losing control.

"Kathryn..." He pulled her upward towards him, guiding her hips over
his. "I can't wait much longer..."

"Don't even try." She worked herself slowly and firmly onto his shaft,
flexing and relaxing her muscles with each push, and as he began to
thrust. Talking was forgotten as they began the age-old rhythm,
meeting each other strongly, passionately, in perfect synchronicity.

Kashyk rolled Kathryn onto her back and slid an arm under one knee to
lift her leg slightly, angling perfectly to reach her most sensitive
depths. He held her gaze as he came first, groaning heavily and
continuing to pump, and she soon after, as she felt his seed spread
warmly inside her. Afterwards, he tucked her close in next to him, and
they both slept for a while, then made love again.

---

Kathryn awoke to the wonderful smell of freshly brewed coffee and the
sound of cups clinking elsewhere in the apartment. She sat up in the
bed and let her gaze wander around the room that had gone unnoticed
the night before. Not surprisingly, it was masculinely elegant and
uncluttered. She wondered if the one piece of sculpture on the dresser
was Devoran. Their clothes had been neatly folded and placed next to
it, and a soft robe lay at the foot of the bed. She took a brief turn
in the sonic shower, then slipped into the robe and padded barefoot
out of the room, following the familiar aroma.

She found Kashyk in the main living area, dressed only in a pair of
loose pants. In the daylight he was even more handsome, his body lithe
and graceful. She watched him with pleasure as he set out their coffee
on a low table in front of a soft leather couch.

"Coffee?" He looked up at her with a knowing smile.

"You must be telepathic."

Kashyk raised his brow ridges at that, and Kathryn realized what she'd
said. There was an uncomfortable silence, then Kashyk chuckled at her
embarrassment and pulled her to him. He smelled clean, like he'd taken
a real water shower. But Kathryn's unthinking comment had caused her
thoughts to spin, replaying the events of the past, and she considered
again just who this man had been, what he had put her and her crew
through.

Noting her troubled look, Kashyk opted to take the bull by the horns,
and guided her to sit on the couch. "Kathryn, I want you to meet some
of my fellow defectors, and the Brenari refugees. They are adjusting
well to life on Earth." He motioned to a pair of remarkable images on
one wall. "Do you recognize them?"

She did, immediately. "The Kolyan Kolyar. And the Aurora Borealis."

Kashyk nodded. "One of my colleagues dabbles in stellar art,
specifically image reproductions. She did these for me." Kathryn
regarded the images silently as he continued. "And one of your
Starfleet peers, Deanna Troi, has been of great help to us. She's made
our transition enjoyable and exciting."

"Ironic, isn't it? That you've earned the trust of a Betazoid
counselor?"

"I prefer to think of it as fitting." He was becoming puzzled at her
vacant stare. "Kathryn?" He reached for her chin, turning her face to
look at him. What he saw there made his eyes glitter with pain. "You
still don't trust me, do you?"

She arose abruptly from the couch and walked to the replicator.

"What are you doing?"

"Replicating some clothes. I shouldn't be seen leaving here in the
same thing I wore last night." He didn't answer, so she continued.
"I've made plans to visit with family and friends for the next few
days."

Kashyk had moved to stand beside her, but she took the clothes as they
materialized and made a quick exit into the bedroom to change. His
voice carried after her.

"A well-deserved reunion. I know you'll enjoy it."

She didn't answer, only dressed quickly and threw last night's gown in
the recycler. When she returned to the outer room, the pain was still
evident on Kashyk's face, but now there was also a hint of anger. The
firm set of his mouth reminded her of the potential for cruelty that
she had seen there before, when he had led the Inspection teams on
Voyager. He looked at her reproachfully.

Her answer was to make a quick exit. He didn't try to stop her. As the
door slid closed, she heard the distinct tinkling crash of a coffee
cup breaking, and she fled.

---

"Kath, you're supposed to be enjoying your visit with us, not
working." Phoebe stood in the doorway of the den, watching her sister
hunch intently over a computer terminal.

Kathryn didn't look up. "I'm not, really, just catching up on things
that have happened while I was gone. I'll join you and Mom in a
minute."

"These came for you." Phoebe entered the room and placed a huge
bouquet of roses on the desk. "I'm betting they're from that first
officer of yours."

Kathryn looked at the flowers, fingering the card but not opening it.
She sighed and turned back to the terminal.

"Well." Phoebe raised a wry eyebrow. "It's a beautiful afternoon, sis.
We're going to grill - real steaks over a real wood fire. Join us when
you're ready."

The console beeped with an incoming message.

"Are you going to ignore that one like you have all the others?"
Phoebe indicated the screen pointedly, and left the room.

Kathryn closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, then turned her
attention to the incoming message. It was Chakotay this time. She
entered the command for two-way communication.

"Hello, Kathryn." Chakotay's dimpled face smiled at her from the
screen. "Are you having a good visit with your family?"

"Yes." Kathryn nodded and smiled a little. "It's good to be here."

"A group of us are getting together to go sight-seeing this weekend.
Tom has even suggested a visit to the real Sandrine's. Interested?"

"Sounds like fun. I'll let you know."

"You do that." Chakotay was peering at something. Damn... he could see
the flowers. "Looks like someone is already well-versed in human
customs."

So he knew, or had guessed. "Hmm." Kathryn wasn't sure what to say.

"Kathryn, is everything all right? You know I'm a good listener."

The warmth and concern in his voice was sincere, and Kathryn felt
relief flood through her. Their close friendship would remain intact.

"I'll be fine... I just have a lot to think about. I'll get back to
you by Friday."

Chakotay grinned. "Feels strange to use the days of the week in
conversation again, doesn't it?"

She nodded and returned his grin. "Strange, and nice."

"Take care, Kathryn. You know where to find me."

Kathryn terminated the transmission, and contemplated opening her
other waiting messages. Instead, she turned the console off and went
to join her family.

---
Two weeks later...


Janeway stood in the doorway of Kashyk's apartment, arms crossed. "I
heard you were leaving."

Kashyk was packing folded clothing neatly into a large travel case. "A
privately funded group is sending teams into Devore space to rescue
telepathic refugees. I've been invited to go along."

"Don't tell me they're giving you a ship."

"They don't trust me *that* much." Kashyk's mouth quirked a bit. "I'll
be on board in an advisory role."

"How noble."

Kashyk snorted, incredulous. "Though they certainly trust me more than
*you* do." He shook his head and turned back to his packing, more
sloppily this time.

"My skepticism is justified."

Kashyk stopped and slammed the suitcase in disgust. "Have you paid
*any* attention to my actions in the past few years?"

"Your *alleged* actions."

"Actions *verified* by the refugees I've helped and *documented* by
your own Starfleet Command! Or are you denying that you and your crew
are home, safe and sound?"

"What do you want from me, Kashyk? Gratitude? All right... thanks for
the transwarp. Do you want me to feel *indebted* to you? Don't hold
your breath. I would have brought Voyager home eventually."

"Of that I'm certain. But I thought..." Kashyk stepped close, grasping
her shoulders and looking down at her, eyes blazing. "I *thought* that
maybe we could find some common ground. I believe the saying is 'Bury
the hatchet.'" Seeing her hostile glare, he raised his hands as if to
fend her off. "But that's obviously not possible."

He shook his head again and continued to pile his belongings near the
door. "Believe it or not, Captain, the experience on your ship helped
me to see things in a new light, showed me that one person can make a
real difference. I helped my little band of refugees escape because it
was the right thing to do, not because I had an ulterior motive.
Helping Starfleet get Voyager home was also the right thing to do, and
it was in my power. Earning your respect would have been nice, but
it's not mandatory." His eyes glittered as he motioned towards the
door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm due on my transport in two hours.
With your blessing or not."

Janeway walked slowly towards the door, pursing her lips. She stopped
at the threshold as the door slid open. Exasperated, Kashyk set his
mouth and gestured "thattaway", this time more pointedly.

Finally she exited, stepping onto the balcony that overlooked San
Francisco Bay. The door whooshed shut behind her without another word
from within. She leaned on the railing. Why had she come here? To
start another argument? Twice she had come here, and twice she had
wound up leaving in anger. The first time she had left by her own
choice. This time... She closed her eyes and let the breeze whip her
hair back, hoping it would help order her thoughts.

What, exactly, was she resisting, and why? Kashyk had earned the trust
of Starfleet and the Federation. Her own crewmembers, even those that
still harbored some resentment towards him, accepted that he was a
member of their society now. Was it just that she was still angry?
Angry that he had hurt her?

As she had hurt him, not even three weeks ago. And she had *kept*
hurting him, hadn't she?

She turned back to the door. As she reached for the chime, the door
slid open and Kashyk barreled out, his arms going around her
instinctively to soften the collision as he pulled to a halt. He
looked down at her, breathlessly.

"I thought you were really going to go."  His voice was rich with
emotion.

"I thought you were actually going to let me leave."

Kashyk's mouth descended on hers in a desperate, crushing kiss, and
her pulled her back into the apartment.

---

Kathryn and Kashyk stumbled back through the foyer of the small
apartment, pawing and groping frantically at each other, removing
articles of clothing and strewing them about. Kathryn ground herself
against his erection, which was already straining impossibly through
the thin fabric of his pants, then grasped it firmly with one small
hand and began to stroke. Kashyk growled at her, thrusting his hips
and pushing her across the room, massaging her breasts. He had her
pants down in one quick jerk, and pushed her forwards over the back of
the couch.

"Kathryn..." He stopped, caressing her back and breathing hard,
wondering if he'd gone too far.

She looked around at him. "Don't you dare stop now." Her voice was a
husky snarl.

Shuddering, Kashyk freed his erection from his trousers and entered
her completely in a smooth, deep stroke. Kathryn groaned with the
delicious pain, her insides already throbbing against him. As her
orgasm began, he withdrew and plunged in again and again, slowly,
firmly, holding her hips tightly and trembling with the effort of
controlling his release. Her muscles drew tighter, causing him to moan
her name again, but still he continued. Finally her climax jerked
through her body, endlessly, pounding the breath from her, as Kashyk
shouted with his own.

They held still for a moment, recovering, until he took her by the
shoulders and pulled her up to face him, holding and kissing her
tenderly. Then he swept her into the bedroom, and it wasn't long
before he made love to her again.

---

Kathryn awoke slowly to the sensuous feel of Kashyk's soft chest hair
against her back. One strong, limber arm was wrapped tightly around
her and his breath whispered softly against her neck. She had never
felt so sated and comfortable, and she snuggled against him, reveling
in the sensation. He stirred slightly, and she felt his cock bump
against her buttocks yet again. She turned onto her back to watch him
awake. His eyes opened sleepily, and he gave her a little smile.

"You're incredible," she whispered.

"There's nothing I want more than to please you, Kathryn." He brushed
her hair from her face with a gentle hand. "I knew you were beautiful,
but I could never have imagined how responsive your body is."

She turned to face him and intertwined her legs with his. "You've
managed to find out things about it that even I didn't know."

"I tried to prepare well. There are many interesting texts on the
subject."

She laughed at that. "Most human males are too centered on their own
equipment to actually learn much about female sexuality."

He lowered his head to nuzzle her neck. "Then most human males are
fools."

Kathryn enjoyed the new sensation of his slight growth of stubble
against her neck. Every man she'd ever known had used beard suppressor,
and now she wondered why.

The sound of a comm signal made Kashyk's eyes widen suddenly with
realization, and he quickly rolled off the bed toward the computer
terminal.

"Kashyk here."

"Ambassador, we're holding the transport for you. Is there a problem?"

"Actually, yes. Something has come up." There was a muffled, strangled
sound from behind him. "Go on without me... Krytek will more than
suffice in my capacity."

The captain of the expedition vessel nodded respectfully, and Kashyk
closed the channel, looking at a mirthful Kathryn with a puzzled
expression.

"Something has come up???" She could barely contain her laughter, and
reached to trace one finger along his now limp penis.

Kashyk began to chuckle. "Your language has many nuances that I'm only
beginning to discover." He rolled over to smother her body with his,
and the state of his member began to change rapidly.

"It's wonderful to hear your voice without the distraction of the
translator."

He smoothed his hand across her forehead. "I tasked myself with
learning your language quickly. Programmed translators can be
unpredictable - another reason I couldn't risk letting you know what I
was really doing during the last inspection." He watched her reaction
closely. "The slightest wrong nuance could have destroyed everything."

Kathryn could see his wariness in broaching the subject, and traced
the strong line of his jaw with her fingers. "I know." She met his
gaze, putting the palm of her hand on the side of his face, then
smoothing it down his shoulder and arm to grasp his hand. She guided
his touch to her torso. "It's over, Kashyk. No more hurting."

Kashyk's breathing became heavier and his eyes closed involuntarily,
but he managed to keep his train of thought. "Kathryn, will you show
me more of Earth? I've explored little beyond this city, in hopes that
I could see things through your eyes."

She smiled. "Yes. But I don't know how much time I have."

"Does Starfleet have new orders for you?"

Kathryn twined her arms around his neck, thrilled at the realization
that he already understood their situation. "Not yet. I meet with
Picard day after tomorrow."

"Do you think you will continue as the Captain of Voyager?"

"Huh." She cocked her head. "Starfleet Engineering has been swarming
all over her since we arrived, studying all of our modifications, or
"Borgifications", as Mr. Paris calls them. I can't imagine that
they'll put her back in service soon."

Kashyk's hands had begun to roam over her smooth skin. One had found
its way to a breast, and he was intently manipulating the nipple,
watching it stand up in a hard peak. "I've done a lot of studying
myself, Kathryn, and there are several aspects of my research that I
still wish to explore."

Kathryn let her head loll back. "By all means."

---

"Captain Janeway!"

Kathryn and Kashyk turned as they crossed the plaza outside the
Admiralty. A small herd of media reporters was approaching. She
shrugged at him, and they stopped to wait.

The first reporter extended a recording device in Kathryn's direction.
"Is it true you've been offered command of the 'Enterprise'?"

Janeway chuckled and shook her head. "No. Captain Riker has a firm
hold on the center chair of the Enterprise." The reporters looked
disappointed, then perked up as she continued. "I have, however,
accepted command of the 'Farragut'."

The excited crew began firing questions, most of them unanswerable or
irrelevant, until one of them looked at Kashyk. "Captain, what is your
relationship to the Ambassador?" The reporters quieted and jostled for
the best camera angle.

Kathryn took her companion's arm. "Ambassador Kashyk and I enjoy each
other's company very much."

Another barrage of questions regarding their relationship and
Voyager's crew ensued, but she raised her hand. "Please - that's all
for now." The reporters thanked her and turned away, excitedly
discussing their scoop, and Kathryn and Kashyk resumed their walk
towards her temporary quarters.

"Kathryn, you are the darling of the popular media."

She smiled. "It's called Kirk Syndrome. Break the Prime Directive
enough times, and you're a hero."

Kashyk nodded. "I've heard of it. But as I recall, it also has
something to do with saving your ship and crew against all odds."

They came to her building and rode the turbolift in companionable
silence. Her apartment door recognized her commbadge and slid open as
they approached.

"You could come with me, you know."

"In what capacity? 'Captain's Love Slave'?"

Kathryn assumed a thoughtful look, tapping her chin with one finger,
causing Kashyk to laugh heartily. She thought it was one of the most
wonderful sounds she had ever heard.

He pulled her inside and gathered her in his arms. "Kathryn Janeway,
you were born to be a Starship Captain. Anyone that loves you can see
that, and would never keep you from it."

"What will you do?"

"There is a growing Devoran community on Earth. They, and each group
of telepathic refugees, wish to preserve their own cultures in some
fashion in the Alpha quadrant. Colonies and settlements need to be
established for those that don't wish to join Earth's mainstream
society. Then there are the missions back to Devore space that require
qualified participants."

He leaned in and nibbled her earlobe. "Some of my fellow dissidents
have expressed a desire to return, to try to change Devore society
gradually, from the inside. They'll also be of great help in our
refugee operation. Intensive undercover training will need to be
provided in order for them to do that. So, as you can see, my place is
here."

She looked at him affectionately. "There's always subspace."

"Yes," he said softly. He kissed her tenderly, then pulled her against
him. "I thought I'd start looking for more suitable living
arrangements... perhaps a house in the mountains, or overlooking the
coast." Kathryn pulled away and looked at him as he continued. "Will
you help me? We'll pick a place where you'll be comfortable whenever
you do return to Earth. Assuming, of course, that you don't get stuck
on the other side of the galaxy again."

She smiled and nodded. "Sounds perfect." She pressed herself against
him again, kissing his neck with increasing ardor. "But not just now.
We have some research to work on."

---

The End