The BLTS Archive - Behind Closed Doors Second in the In Private series by Daughter of Lilith (daughter.of.lilith@gmail.com) --- Published: 06-17-08 - Updated: 06-17-08 Disclaimer: Not mine, which is perhaps a good thing. No material profit is made from this (but I do get a little emotional satisfaction out of it). Pairing: Same characters as in my other story "In Private", but I'm still not going to tell you who :p So, once again, feel free to guess and/or insert your own favorite pairing :) Timeframe: Somewhere in the fifth or sixth season Reviews: I loved the reviews on "In Private", it's pretty fun to see which characters people see in this story – so bring 'em on I say :) --- "I missed you." Surprised, she looked up at him. "Wha-what?" He met her eyes for only a second, shrugged his shoulders and dove back into his book – or at least pretended to. His words had startled her, so much so she doubted she'd heard him correctly, even though she knew she had. The truth was, she'd missed him too. It wasn't the first time. Conferences, briefings, evaluations and vacations off ship were a frequent occurrence for Starfleet officers, especially those of higher rank. Yet she'd never felt his absence as keenly as she had during the last three weeks. It was hardly as if they'd been in each other's company from the second she'd returned, yet simply knowing he was near made a difference. When she was only a deck or two away she didn't think of him as much as she had during that boring conference on Tela V. Realizing she was still staring at him, she forced her eyes back on her own book, fighting a blush rising to her cheeks. She flipped a page every so often, in spite of being too distracted to read. His words had made her nervous. For the first time in years, the silence unsettled her. When they'd started these convenient sleepovers – for lack of a better term – she'd been nervous as well. She hadn't thought she could maintain this kind of relationship, the kind that wasn't a relationship at all. Now, she could hardly imagine her life without it. It was also the kind of agreement that couldn't work with anyone else, she'd concluded long ago. They let each other be, sought out each other's company without expectations. Sometimes they barely spoke for days and he never minded when she disappeared before he woke up. Maybe he even preferred it. Their lack of expectations was the sole reason why they could keep their professional relationship, well, professional. The intimacy, the affection never left their quarters. Behind closed doors they were secret lovers who allowed each other every freedom they needed. In public they respected each other as officers – as superior and subordinate. They were friends. Sometimes advocates for different sides of an argument. Always professional. She smiled and flipped another page. Their discussions were what she'd missed most. The way he would passionately argue his point of view while never losing the ability to see her side of the argument. He could disagree with her vehemently, without thinking any less of her because of it. If someone had told her of the complex relationship she would develop with this man when she'd first met him, she probably would've ran the other way. But now that she was here, 'reading' a book in silence across from him, it felt right. In her other relationships, the freedom he gave her was what she missed. Her last lover had always felt the need to fill silences. If she left before he woke up to work out, he called for her. If she changed their plans, or cancelled them, he wanted to know why. She'd soon felt suffocated. Maybe that was why his earlier admission unnerved her? What if this man wanted more too? More time together, more agreements, more expectations? Rationally she knew he didn't. His admission was one of affection, of love. Not an indication he wanted more. Did she want more? Not now – that was certain. Now she was perfectly content with their intimacy in private. She watched him from the corner of her eye, blushing when he caught her. He smiled the way he only did in private. Softly, with affection in his eyes. She felt something stir within. "What are you looking at?" She grinned, her concerns forgotten, and put her book on the table. "Oh, you know, nothing." "Really." Slowly she made her way to his bedroom, undoing the clasps of her blue uniform as she went. "Nothing at all." His smile grew with understanding and his book joined hers on the table. Her uniform dropped to the floor, where it was soon joined by his red one. Her change in mood surprised even herself, but then she had been gone for three weeks. Time to make up for lost time. He kissed her, more passionately than she remembered and pushed her onto the bed. She pulled him with her. Glancing out at the stars while he kissed that sensitive spot on her neck, she returned his earlier sentiment as heartfelt as his had been. "I missed you too." It was good to be home again. --- The End