The BLTS Archive- Knight of Cups
Second in The Cups Quartet
by DataToy (DataToy711@aol.com)

---

copyright September 1999

Thanks Laur, you are the best!

---
"Knight of Cups: I learn that emotions are not the simple things I
originally thought they were."

Signe E. Echols, Robert Mueller, Sandra A. Thomson, Spiritual Tarot

---
Put your head on my shoulder baby
Things can't get any worse
Night is getting colder, sometimes...
Life feels like it's a curse

Madonna, Swim

---
"Call it a whim. Or perhaps, a reward for a favor in another
timeline," Q said.

-from Page of Cups
---

Even before Data's eyelids fluttered open, Counselor Troi was moving.
She quickly sat on the bed next to him, gathering the brand new human
in her arms.

Data awoke, his still-golden eyes clouded and confused. He gasped,
and peering at her face, cried, "Counselor Troi... Where am I? I...
someone -someone turned me off... my internal clock is not
operating..." He started shivering uncontrollably.

Her eyes widened as she delved into his emotions. She felt herself
slipping and falling, and tried to find secure footing -he was
gripped by pure terror.

Then he whimpered, "Oooh... The room is turning... Something is
wrong..." He shut his eyes tightly and gagged.

"Troi to Crusher," the empath called, slapping her communicator.
"Please come to Data's quarters right away." Then she held Data close
to her, comforting him. "Shhh, it's all right Data, take some deep
breaths, it will pass, deep breaths," she said, breathing deeply
herself to show him, "yes, like that, it's all right..."

Data hung on to her. "Counselor Troi... What is happening to me? I
cannot remember... I cannot -I cannot access any of my files!" he
cried, shaking with fear.

Troi strengthened her embrace, empathically reaching for his
terrified mind and filling it with feelings of safety. She gritted
her teeth -Data's fear was so intense, so primal. "Listen to me,
Data," she said, "listen to me... Look at me, Data." She took his
face in her hands and looked into his eyes. "Don't be frightened. You
are on the Enterprise... You are in your quarters... see? You are
home."

He glanced around him for an instant, locking onto sights he already
knew so well, and which reassured him. "I am in my quarters," he
repeated.

Troi smiled, drawing him against her and caressing his head. "That's
right... There's no reason to be afraid."

He released a trembling breath, and instinctively sought shelter in
her arms, burying his face against her neck, soothed by her presence,
her warmth, her softness. His muscles began to relax. "This feels
good," he murmured.

"Yes, Data," she said, stroking his wavy hair.

Then he raised his head, the words he'd just uttered suddenly hitting
him. "How can this feel good?" he whispered almost inaudibly. He
looked at Troi, his eyes wide with shock.

Dr. Crusher had arrived, but she stopped in the bedroom doorway when
she saw them.

"Data," Troi said softly, "you're human now."

He blinked, swallowed, and his expression betrayed a dawning
realization. "Q... Q made me human?" He was like a child who had
received the present he'd always so dearly wished for, the present he
thought he'd never get because it seemed it could only happen in a
dream.

Troi nodded.

"Human," Data breathed. Very slowly, he went limp in her arms, and
began to weep silently, hardly moving at all. Troi patted his back
tenderly, her eyes shimmering as she met Beverly's.

---

"I do not feel well... Dr. Crusher, please, I do not wish to eat,"
Data said. Once more, he pushed away the bowl that she was holding.

Crusher sighed, but she was worried. She had been trying to coax him
to swallow a spoonful of fruit purée, and so far had failed to get
him to cooperate. "Data," she said gently, "You slept for a long
time. You'll feel better if you eat."

Data was unconvinced. "It seems like the bed is moving." He closed
his eyes and groaned. "I do not like this at all."

Crusher's lips formed an exhausted smile. Simply getting him to eat
mashed bananas was a challenge. She was certain that somewhere, Q was
laughing.

"Data, be reasonable. You know you need to eat now," she said firmly.
If he didn't eat something solid soon, his stomach would become even
more shocked than it already was.

He opened his eyes, and she inched the spoon closer to his mouth.
"Just a taste, okay? Then you can tell me if it helps or not," she
said encouragingly.

Cautiously, he parted his lips and she tipped the spoon, sliding it
past his lips. I should take a picture, she thought. 'His first bowl
of mashed bananas.'

"Oh!" he said, swallowing. "It tastes nice. It feels cool... It is
moving inside of me," he marveled, his hand tracing the center of his
chest down to his stomach. He gave her a delighted smile. "I would
like more," he said.

He spoke so earnestly that she almost burst out laughing. "All right,
then," she said. "Tell you what -if you finish all of it, I may let
you get out of bed for a while."

Data gazed at her, and he tilted his head with that swift, sudden
motion she had seen a million times. Some of his most ingrained
habits had persisted. "I will feel better if I eat, of course. That
is correct. Please continue, Dr. Crusher."

His sudden switch from frustration to enchantment was a bit
disconcerting. She wondered if any of them would ever get used to
Data's transformation. His experience with emotions was limited, if
not practically nonexistent, and this lack was further aggravated by
having to learn how to live inside a human body and incorporate an
entirely new set of responses.

She gave him another spoonful. He closed his eyes, keeping the mashed
fruit inside his mouth for a little while, intensely absorbed by the
soft, creamy sensation on his tongue. Then he swallowed, and smiled
again. "I like this very much," he said gladly. "Does that please
you?"

Singularly touched by his transparent and authentic desire, she
patted his shoulder and nodded, feeling a pang of guilt . Data had
wanted to please humans so badly that he'd repressed the fragile
emergence of his emotions, and eventually forgotten about his own
inner defense mechanism, denying that he'd ever had any feelings
altogether.

Data finished the entire bowl, and beamed up at her, elated. "I am
feeling much better, Dr. Crusher. May I get up now?"

There it was, the vibrant smile that should have been. Even more
bittersweet, his golden eyes that were now bright with pleasure. Q...
you made sure we'd never forget, didn't you? she thought somberly.
"All right," she said, forcing a smile. "Take it easy. Don't rush
yourself."

He nodded obediently. She pulled the blankets away, and took his
hand. He swung his legs to the side of the bed, and his bare feet
touched the carpet. He gasped, and pressed his feet against the soft
surface. He laughed, and Dr. Crusher almost started at the sound. He
looked at her with amazement etched upon his benign features. "It
feels so different," he said.

He raised himself slowly, his legs a bit unsteady at first, and took
a few tentative steps, leaning upon her arm. A few minutes later, he
was walking confidently. "I do not hear any commands in my mind," he
told her with perplexity in his voice. "Yet my legs are moving, they
are doing what I wish them to do." He walked around the room, his
head cocked as if he was trying to hear the soft internal noises that
had a few days ago been his constant companions.

"There is nothing anymore," he whispered. "It is just happening. This
is most intriguing."

Crusher smiled. "Would you like to go for a walk outside your
quarters?"

Data nodded, anticipation and excitement lighting up his features.
"Yes! I would to see Geordi."

"I'll let you dress, Data. I'll wait for you in the other room," she
said.

Once he was alone, he began to remove his pyjamas. He took off his
shirt, a small exclamation of surprise escaping his lips when he saw
that his chest was covered with dark hair.

Testosterone, a voice in his mind informed him, and he jumped.
Evidently, many of the facts that had once been stored in his
positronic brain were still present in his human one, though the way
they surfaced, seemingly out of nowhere, was most baffling.

"Testosterone," he murmured to himself, touching the dark curls on
his chest. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. That
felt softer, he thought, closing his eyes. Then looking at his hand,
he saw that it was slightly shiny. He decided he would wash his new
human body before dressing it.

"I will not be long, Dr. Crusher," he said, raising his voice a
little.

"It's all right, Data," she called back. "Take your time."

He removed his pyjama pants and stepped into the shower, opting for
water instead of sonics. He exhaled when the warm water hit him,
enveloping him from head to toe in luxuriousness. He stood under the
shower head for a few minutes, feeling the water against his skin,
feeling it massaging his muscles, and he let his head sway slightly
from side to side. Someone had thought of putting a bottle of shampoo
on the shelf, and soap.

My friends thought of it. He smiled, and there was a feeling in his
chest like a slightly painful yet pleasant twist. Having squeezed an
amount of shampoo in the palm of his hand, he began washing his hair,
the sweet, fresh smell of mint filling his nostrils. There was a
tingling sensation as he rubbed his scalp, and his lips stretched
upwards in a lazy smile.

He rinsed his hair, and washed the rest of his body, which was
slightly reddened from the warm water. He got out of the shower,
suddenly anxious to see Geordi, and quickly dried himself with a
large towel. His pushed his moist locks back, not bothering to style
them, and dressed in his familiar Starfleet uniform.

"I am ready, Dr. Crusher," he announced as he joined her in the
living room. She suppressed a smile -he had forgotten about shaving.

"Let's go then," she told him, and they left his quarters.

Data was looking around him as if he was seeing his surroundings for
the first time. Since Q had turned him into a human being, his golden
eyes had taken on a dazzling brilliance that mirrored his newly
acquired perceptions.

"What is it, Data?" Crusher asked.

"I do not know," he replied, smiling radiantly. "It just... feels
good to be here." He put his hand on his chest. "It is like my heart
is bouncing." He moved his hand to the side of his neck, and pressed
softly. "Oh! I can feel it... it is beating faster." He laughed, a
tender, little laugh that tore right through her.

"Computer, locate Commander LaForge," she said.

"Commander LaForge is in Engineering."

---

Everywhere they went, people did a double take. Of course by now the
entire ship was aware of the unprecedented event that had taken place
-but it hadn't sunk in yet. People were dumbfounded. Data met the
astounded stares with a thrilled smile, his heart hammering inside of
him, and then he would shyly duck his head.

Human, his mind echoed again and again. He had to restrain himself
from sprinting down the halls like an exhilarated child.

Finally they reached Main Engineering. When Data saw Geordi, who had
his back turned to them, he exclaimed, "Geordi!"

Geordi whirled around at the sound of Data's heartfelt cry,
thunderstruck. "Data... oh my God!" He gasped. He knew what had
happened to Data, and had watched over him for a few hours as he lay
sleeping, but to see Data now, barely able to contain his joy, was
truly overwhelming.

"Well?" Data was saying, "tell me, what do you think? I am curious to
hear your opinion about my appearance."

Geordi could hardly find his voice. He held Data by the shoulders,
and then cupped his face, Data's bristles grazing his hands. "Oh
Data... I can't believe it's you." Geordi drew him in his arms. "I'm
so happy you're all right."

Engineering had come to a grinding halt as all beheld the sight of
Data in his new human form. It might have been difficult to recognize
him with his flesh tone skin at first, not to mention that five
o'clock shadow, but those golden eyes left no doubt as to the
identity of their owner.

Presently, they were filling with tears. "Yes, I am all right," he
said. "It is so... good to see you, Geordi. I am still having
difficulty believing what has happened, but I am so glad that I can
feel now, though it has been a somewhat perplexing experience."

Geordi's head was spinning with the new reality his friend's words
implied. I should've known, he thought, castigating himself. Of all
people, I should've known what he was doing to himself.

He hadn't been in the room at the time, but Riker had described
Data's plaintive cries: accessing, accessing, accessing. Geordi felt
sick to his stomach every time he thought of those words. I should've
seen the damage to his subprocessors, his neural net... How many
error messages must have Data endured over the years, warping his
programming the way he was? I should've seen something, somewhere.
When he said he had no feelings, we couldn't accept it... But we
never even looked.

"Did I say something wrong?" Data asked, shaking Geordi from his
gloomy reflections. He winced when he realized how distraught Data
looked; almost frightened.

"Of course you didn't," Geordi assured him. "I'm sorry, Data. It's
just that I've been so worried about you."

Data relaxed visibly. How easy it is to read him now, Geordi thought
despondently. "Please do not worry," Data said. "Dr. Crusher has been
taking excellent care of me. I am fine. I just needed to see you,
Geordi."

Then he frowned, as if something important had just occurred to him.
"I am not disturbing you in your work, am I? I did not think that you
might be busy. Do you require assistance?"

As Dr. Crusher had been, Geordi was taken aback by the contrast
between Data's newfound emotions and his enduring impulses. Sometimes
his behavior was so familiar, and others it was so new. Before he
could respond, Data had seated himself at the console, his fingers
dancing smoothly across the surface. "Initiating diagnostic of plasma
flow to the power transfer conduits," he said.

And then for a moment, Data hesitated. He knitted his brow, his
thoughts racing furiously. "I... I do not recall the amount of
magnetic pressure necessary to peristaltically force the plasma
toward the warp engine nacelles."

Crestfallen, he turned to Dr. Crusher and Geordi. "I do not recall
the amount of magnetic pressure," he repeated with disbelief.

"Data," Geordi said, "no one is expecting you to remember everything
the way you did before. You're human now. And you shouldn't even be
thinking about work or magnetic pressure or plasma flow at this
point. You should... Data? Data!"

Data was deaf to Geordi's words. His complexion had taken on a waxen
pallor, and small beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. "The
file is gone. How will I be able to perform my duties now? There are
so many things I do not remember! Information only seems to come
sporadically, when I do not expect it..."

He flinched, struck by an even more terrible thought. "Will I... will
I be allowed to stay on the Enterprise?" He was incapable of halting
the disintegration of his thoughts as they went from bad to worse.
Shutting his eyes, he covered his face with a trembling hand.

He heard Geordi's voice coming from far away.

Then there was nothing.

---

"Data? Data?"

There was the slight sting of someone very gently slapping his cheeks.

"He's coming around."

"Data, can you hear me?"

"Counselor Troi to Engineering! Something's wrong with Data!"

Geordi's voice, Data thought through a haze. And once again,
nothingness.

---

Soft sounds, becoming clearer. Processing... No, wait. Someone
calling my name... I think someone is talking to me.

A hypospray hissed softly against Data's neck. He opened his mouth
and sucked in a breath.

"C'mon, Data... C'mon, wake up," Geordi whispered anxiously.

Then he slowly opened his eyes, squinting against what was at first
an almost unbearable brightness. A few moments later, he realized he
was lying on the floor in Engineering, Geordi hovering over him with
a tense expression, Dr. Crusher sitting on one side, running a
tricorder over him, and Counselor Troi on the other, holding his
hand. He gasped, but this time everything came back to him, including
the anguish he felt at the thought of having to leave the Enterprise.

"Data," Troi said quickly, squeezing his hand, "this is your home,
and this is where you'll stay." He squeezed back, his eyes filled
with desperate hope as he clutched at her words. "Everything will be
all right. We will help you, Data. You're not alone."

He nodded. Color was slowly returning to his pale cheeks.

"Good," she said, stroking his forehead. "Don't worry about what you
do or don't remember right now. We'll work on those things later, all
right?"

"All right," Data said, relief seeping through him. I am not alone,
he thought. My friends will not abandon me. I must trust them.

"Can you stand, Data?" Dr. Crusher asked.

"Yes," Data replied, and they all helped him to his feet. He felt
dizzy for a second, but Geordi was supporting him. "How you doing,
buddy?" Geordi asked gently. "Don't scare me like that again, you
hear me?"

Data smiled almost sheepishly and lowered his head, a bit overcome by
the attention. "I am sorry that I frightened you, Geordi," he said.
He swallowed, and rubbed one of his temples.

"Data?" Geordi said, instantly alarmed, his arm tightening around his
shoulders protectively. "You okay?" He lifted Data's chin and peered
into his eyes, checking to see if anything was wrong.

Data nodded. "Yes, Geordi, thank you," he said, basking in his
friend's concern. "It is just... my head hurts a little."

"He should eat something now," Crusher told Geordi.

Troi smiled, giving Data a little shake. "What do you say you and I
go to Ten Forward? I'm famished." Her eyes sparkled mischievously.
"Plus, I think it's time for me to introduce you to one of the
greatest pleasures of life."

Dr. Crusher groaned. "At least make sure he eats a bowl of soup
first," she admonished.

---

A hot fudge sundae was placed before Data, who was studying it with
curiosity and definite interest.

Troi planted her spoon in her own rich concoction. "This, Data," she
said with satisfaction, "is what you eat when you feel you need
something to raise your spirits."

"I believe you have mentioned that many times in the past," he said,
watching how the fudge was melting the ice cream in his bowl.

"Go ahead, Data, have a bite already," Troi said, motioning with her
spoon.

He brought his spoon to his mouth, noting how it was filling with
saliva as he breathed in the tantalizing smell of hot fudge. His eyes
flew open when the soft, cold ice cream and hot, velvety chocolate
touched his tongue. "Mm -mmm mmm!" he mumbled ecstatically, hitting
the table lightly a few times with his palms. The ice cream was
sweeter than the chocolate, which was also heavier and thicker. It
coated his tongue, sending intoxicating messages to his brain. He
shivered as he swallowed the hot chocolate syrup and it tickled the
back of his throat deliciously.

"Oh," he sighed. Then he stared at the sundae, his golden eyes alive
with an expression Troi had never seen in them before: greed.

"Well," she exclaimed, choking on her ice cream and laughing, "it
seems I have finally found someone who understands me."

"I doubt there is anything that could possibly taste better than
this," Data said softly, the chocolate flavor still lingering in his
mouth, and as he admired the beautiful dark brown color, part of him
felt certain it added to the taste...

---

The End