The BLTS Archive- The Girl Who Has Everything by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- Disclaimer: Everything Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom. The Girl Who Has Everything belongs to Reba McEntire. Please do not distribute, archive, etc, without my permission. May be archived on the ASC archive, the PKSP archive, by VSPS and BLTS and R'Rain's Slash Archive only. Others *must* ask. Please do not link to the story without my permission. FEEDBACK: Yes, please! Good, bad, tell me if you *really* think it sucked (but be gentle Other than that, public or private is fine, but if you want to get really critical, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me see the comments before you make them public. Okay, so I don't write Voyager at all for months, P/K in even longer, and when I finally *do* hear a song that yells P/K, it's *this* one? IDIC indeed... Dedication: For anne, for all her help through my email difficulties. NOTE: I consider this story to take place in the au of Course: Oblivion. However, I haven't actually seen the ep, so please don't point out anything I got wrong (although I'd love to know what B'Elanna wore!). --- I just got the wedding invitation... There's gonna be a celebration... Like you've never seen... Just fit for a queen... --- Damn...I must remember never to look at mysterious PADDs again without a strong drink in my hand. Maybe then I could cope with it. Hell, who am I kidding? A tanker of Scotch couldn't have helped me cope with *this*. It's finally going to happen Tom's going to marry B'Elanna. I guess...if nothing else, the ship will get a really great party out of it. And all that I get is to lose the greatest love of my life. I'm going to be selfish and say that I don't think that's a fair trade at all. But maybe...just maybe...B'Elanna's happiness is. I'll just have to keep thinking of it that way. --- She's got her mom and daddy's blessing... --- The wording of the invitation is like some great cosmic joke. Captain Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway and Commander Chakotay request your presence at the wedding of Chief Helmsman Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris and Chief Engineer B'Elanna Isabella Torres. Dammit, I *do* have a right to feel betrayed by that, because I know *damn* well that if Tom and I had ever gotten to the marriage stage (remote as that possibility ever was) the ceremony would have been a "quiet, intimate affair". Us, the Captain, and probably Tuvok as a witness. Not, I have to admit, because we were a same-sex couple, after all, Jerron and Ayala's wedding was a bigger production number than Sam Wildman and Neelix's, but because no one would have *bothered*. No, when Tom and I were together, he was *still* the biggest pariah on this ship, with a *very* small circle of not-enemies, and an even smaller circle of friends. I guess...if I hadn't been Tom's *first* relationship on Voyager, we might have had a chance. --- She's got a long white wedding dress and his wedding ring... --- You know, being the best friend who isn't in love with the groom-to-be any more, if he ever was, at least to Tom and B'Elanna, well...that can really *suck* at times. A *long* time before it was official, B'Elanna showed me her wedding dress. It was her human grandmother's, and it was one of the few things she's kept through her life. I know she will be beautiful in it. It's white, lacy and long. How could it not look perfect on her? That wasn't nearly as hard as Tom's taking me to choose the ring, though. He wants to surprise B'Elanna. How could I refuse? If I couldn't refuse him when he asked me to be his best man, like I could *ever* refuse him anything, I wasn't about to refuse to go wiyh him while he picked out the rings. --- Oh, what can I bring... What do you give the girl who has everything? --- How the hell am I going to compete with the rings and the dress? How am I going to give them a gift that will express what I really feel? And what do I feel? When I get past the hurt and betrayal, there's a part of me that...feels *happy* for them. Weird, I know, but all I ever wanted for both of them was happiness. I just never dreamed they would find it with each other. How can I find a gift that expresses that? --- She's got the man who used to hold me... She's got the man who told me I was his everything... She's got the man who used to love me... Who placed no one above me... How he made my heart sing... Oh, what can I bring... What do you give the girl who has everything?... --- I'll never forget the first time I made love with Tom. The most overwhelming feeling in the room was gratitude, strangely enough. From both of us. I think Tom's was from *anyone* caring enough to make love with him, although he did tell me he loved me, and I know he meant it then. Mine was to finally be able to be with Tom. How long had I wanted him? For longer than since that meeting on DS9. I think Tom is the one that I have wanted since I knew what it was to want someone. Gods, I loved Libby, but the feelings I have for Tom...love is too small a word. It always was. --- She'll hear his promise of forever... She'll hear him say what I could never get him to say... Oh, he'll say it today... --- I think it was a special brand of pain when Tom asked me to hear his vows, though. How could he have known that I dreamed of his saying Byron to me, if we were ever married. At least it wasn't the same poem, although I have to admit that I could *never* fantasise about having She Walks In Beauty read to me. But I know it could never have happened for us. Not in this time and place, anyway. Who knows, maybe in another time or place, things might have worked out very differently. I'll never know. --- She'll hold his hands and throw the flowers... Drink champagne till the morning hours... The queen has her king... And the world on a string... So what do you give the girl who has everything?... --- The wedding's in an hour. I guess I should get dressed. I'm glad Tom went for an old-fashioned wedding. I *hate* those dress uniforms! A tuxedo is much more comfortable. I'm going to have to endure it all, and I don't know if I'll get through the night. Knowing my horrible luck, I'll catch the boquet or the garter. Hell...probably both. Yeah, I'm wallowing. I think I'm entitled to, though. I'm not the one who left, after all. I'm not the one who decided that a fast break was the best way to handle things. --- She's got the man who used to hold me... She's got the man who told me I was his everything... She's got the man who used to love me... Who placed no one above me... How he made my heart sing... Oh, what can I bring... Tell me what do you give the girl who has everything?... --- How could he do that? How could Tom just...leave me? Barely a word. Still...I will give him this much. He didn't take straight up with her. It took years. Two years, four months and three days. Not quite sure on the hours and minutes as I don't know for sure when they actually slept together for the first time. I do know that we got our friendship back a lot quicker. Six months. That's all that he said he could take of not having me to talk to. I guess I should be grateful, that I shouldn't remember things that I can't forget. Like the scent of Tom, the feel of him. Or the fact that he can't remember that our last time together wasn't early in the journey. Should I tell him about the time we were together on Akritiria? Should I tell him that we were together once after he and B'Elanna were together? I think it's too late for that now. It was too late the moment I didn't tell him that we were together as soon as he was recovered enough. --- What do you give the girl who has everything?... --- I guess that's my present to Tom and B'Elanna. I will keep this secret, and let them find their happiness. Computer, end log. --- The End