The BLTS Archive- The Dance by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- This story is a bit of a departure for me. It's still slash ;-), but this one's actually one that someone's asked me to write, not one I came up with on my own. In my C/P story That Wasn't Me, I made a brief reference to Chakotay and Ben Sisko having a relationship. That was only meant to be a throwaway line, much along the lines of my referring to Harry and Wesley Crusher being at the Academy together in my P/K story The One. In fact, I almost made it Jean-Luc Picard, but I've got an idea about Jean-Luc and Tom...which is under construction. But then I got an email from Callisto, and she mentioned that she'd like to see the story about Chakotay and Sisko. So I thought, why not? It is not necessary to have read That Wasn't Me to read this one. This is also the first slash story I have written that does not involve Tom Paris, and I never thought I'd say that, well, unless it was a C/K. This story almost completely changes the interpretation of the relationship as I wrote about it in That Wasn't Me (sorry). I read in The Star Trek Chronology just what Sisko was doing between Best Of Both Worlds and Emissary, and as I want to keep my writing as much in canon as I can, I guess I'll have to deal with that in the sequel . Of course, I'll also have to explain why Chakotay didn't mention to Tom that he plays the guitar and sings as well... I am assuming that Chakotay left Starfleet at around the time of the TNG episode Journey's End, and that he was a Lieutenant Commander at that time. Although I love Macedon and Peg's Talking Stick/Circle stories which have Kolopak's death as the reason Chakotay left Starfleet, I have chosen to write a different interpretation. In this story, Kolopak died when Chakotay was sixteen, around two years after the events shown in Tattoo. The reason for this will be obvious. If you haven't read the Talking Stick/Circle stories, get to the archive and read them . They are wonderful. Characters copyrighted by Paramount, used without permission. Story copyrighted April 1997 by Joanne Collins. Garth Brooks' song The Dance is also used without permission. Comments and feedback welcome (and craved). No flames about my taste in music (even though it is country music) please. Please post comments or email to the above addy. I give my permission for this story to be posted to ASC and to be archived at the ASC archives. It may also be posted to BLTS. It is also to be posted at R'Rain's archive. Please don't distribute elsewhere except for personal archiving. Do feel free to share the story with friends, just keep my name and the headers on it. Mention of events from Emissary, Best Of Both Worlds and Tattoo. The story takes place approximately a year after Best Of Both Worlds. Angst? Yes. Mush? Well, I'M writing it . Actually, not as much as in my other stories, but it's here. Other characters? Jake, of course, the rest are mine, except for one familiar name. Dedicated to Callisto, because she asked. Hope you like it. And to Yvonne, who gave me the idea for the "incident" in Part Two ;-). Sorry the song didn't have as much relevance as it usually does, but it also is kind of a meaning for the entire relationship, that Chakotay could have missed the bad times that happened when he had to leave Starfleet, but he'd have had to miss the good times with Sisko as well. --- Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. Garth Brooks, The Dance --- Chakotay loved this, the feeling of absolute oneness with a ship that no one had ever flown before. He was eternally grateful to Starfleet for assigning him to Utopia Planitia, he could quite happily spend the rest of his career here, promotions be damned. After Wolf 359, almost a year ago now, he never wanted to be involved in a space battle again, too many good people had been lost to the Borg, and Jean-Luc Picard, the Captain of the Enterprise, Starfleet's flagship, had almost been the cause of the Federation's destruction. Not one of the Federation's finest moments, to put it mildly. But Chakotay still believed in the ideals and principles of the Federation and would die upholding them if necessary. He cursed as the chronometer went off, realising he only had half an hour to get the ship back to the spacedock and get into his dress uniform to attend the reception that was being held that afternoon. Chakotay would have much preferred to keep flying, but then he would have preferred to keep flying over almost anything...with, he thought wickedly, a few exceptions. It had been a while since he'd had a lover, he wasn't into casual sex, but he wasn't ready for marriage either, and it was difficult to find a woman who would be willing to have a relationship on those terms. "Maybe I'm looking for the impossible," Chakotay thought, as he maneuvered the ship neatly into the spacedock. "Lieutenant Chakotay, please report to Commander T'Ney's office," the Comm system said. "What now?" thought Chakotay, but of course he couldn't ignore the summons from his commanding officer. He'd probably have to forego a shower, and just change his uniform if she was too lengthy, which, he acknowledged, was not usually the case. A few minutes later he was outside the door of Commander T'Ney's office. He pressed the chime, and heard a feminine voice say, "Come." The door opened, and his commanding officer stood to greet him. "Lieutenant," she said, giving him the traditional Vulcan salute. "Commander," he replied, saluting her the same way. "I just wanted to make sure you had returned in plenty of time to greet the new First Officer." "Well, Commander, I will be on time if I can have time to go to my quarters and change." "Of course Lieutenant. Please do not be late." Chakotay headed out of the office and ran to his quarters. After an extremely quick shower, Chakotay, dressed in his dress uniform, headed for the docking area, hoping he was on time to meet the arriving dignitaries. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realised that he was, although Commander T'Ney did raise an eyebrow at his haste. Before Chakotay had time to do more than murmur "sorry," the doors opened. First out of the doors was an older man, a Trill. He introduced himself as Curzon Dax, shaking the hands of Commander T'Ney, Lieutenant Commander Anderson and Chakotay. Chakotay was surprised for a moment at how cool the Trill's hands felt, although it was common knowledge that Trills had cold hands, Curzon's felt positively arctic to Chakotay. The next man out of the doors was a younger man, a few years older than Chakotay. He was obviously of African ancestry, and was introduced as Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Sisko, who Chakotay knew was taking Anderson's place as First Officer at Utopia Planitia, as Anderson had been promoted and was to serve on the U.S.S. Hood. When he shook Chakotay's hand, he lingered a little longer than necessary, but Chakotay didn't give it much thought at the time. Accompanying Lieutenant Commander Sisko was a young boy of around twelve, who was introduced as Sisko's son, Jake. Anderson asked where his mother was, and the boy burst into tears. Anderson looked shocked, and Sisko explained that his wife had been killed when the U.S.S. Saratoga had been destroyed by the Borg. Anderson apologised profusely, as did Commander T'Ney, but Chakotay bent down slightly, and whispered to the boy, "I know how it feels, I lost my father when I was only a little older than you are now." "Really?" sniffed Jake. "Yes. I was sixteen and attending the Academy. I remember just wanting to curl up and lose the rest of the world, but I couldn't. I remember when I first heard about it, and I had to tell people about it, it was very difficult. But Commander Anderson didn't know, so I hope you can forgive him." "It's all right. Thank you Lieutenant Chakotay." "You're welcome, Jake. I wish I could do more." "There's nothing anyone can do, unfortunately," Curzon Dax said, "Death is always difficult to cope with." "Yes, it is." "Gentlemen, shall we move to the dining hall?" "Of course, Commander. Please allow me to escort you," Curzon said gallantly. "Only Curzon," Sisko said to Chakotay, "Would flirt with a Vulcan." Chakotay laughed. A few hours later, the party was almost over. There were a few people still standing around talking, and Chakotay had found himself a quiet corner, away from the crowd. Someone had begun playing music, and a few people were dancing. "Care to dance?" came a voice. "With you, Commander Sisko?" asked Chakotay, surprised. "Yes, unless you have a...problem with that." "Not at all. I'd like to very much. Where's Jake?" "He was tired from the trip, and Curzon took him to our quarters to sleep." The music that was playing changed from a Betazoid concerto to Elton John, an Earth singer of the twentieth century. It was a fast song, called Crocodile Rock, and Chakotay smiled, as Sisko began to move to the music, joining him in the energetic movements. Chakotay was nearly breathless by the end of the song, and was relieved when it finished, and was replaced by a slower song. Sisko pulled him close, holding him almost, but not quite as he would hold a woman to dance to a slow song. Chakotay resisted for a moment, then realised that the way Sisko was moving, neither was leading. The two men moved together, adjusting to the rhythm of the music and to each other's rhythm. Chakotay *liked* this, he was surprised to realise. Although there was very little prejudice nowadays about same-sex relationships, Chakotay had never considered taking a male lover, he liked women far too much, and he'd never even danced like this with another man. It was an interesting sensation, to feel muscular hardness rather than feminine softness as his hands clasped Sisko's arm and shoulder. When the song finished, Chakotay was surprised to realise they were alone in the room, that the people who had been talking and dancing had left. He turned to Sisko to make a laughing comment about them clearing the room, when his eyes locked with Sisko's and he completely forgot what he was about to say. Sisko brought a hand up, capturing Chakotay's chin, and bringing his head down to kiss him. Chakotay responded, eagerly, liking the feel of the other man's lips on his, then the feeling of Sisko's tongue tracing his lips. Sisko gently pulled back, looking at Chakotay to gauge his reaction. "Oh, my." Sisko smiled, "You liked that, Lieutenant?" "Please, I think after that you can call me Chakotay, Commander." "I'm Ben. Have you ever..." "No, I've never even kissed a man." "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." "Hey, Ben, I did like it, very much." "I...it's kind of a first time for me as well. It's the first time I've kissed someone since my wife died. I never thought I'd have feelings like this again, not for a while yet, until I came out of those doors today and saw you standing there, looking as if you'd just rushed to be there on time, flushed, and looking so...kissable. Kind of like you did a few minutes ago, and I couldn't resist you." Chakotay blushed. "Ben...I don't know how to answer that. I never thought that I'd be kissing our new First Officer on his first night here." "Chakotay, is there anyone in your life? I'm sorry, I didn't think to ask." "No, Ben. There hasn't been for a while. I'm not into casual flings, but I'm nowhere near ready for marriage yet, and I can't seem to find a woman who's willing to have a relationship on those terms. Either they're after a one night stand, or they're picking out china patterns the day after we make love. I've never found someone who wants to go somewhere in the middle of those extremes. I mean, I do want to marry one day, settle down and raise a family, but I know I'm not ready for that now, but I'm past the stage of wanting one night stands that never go anywhere. Am I looking for the impossible?" "Maybe, with women at any rate. But maybe if you...expand your horizons a little..." "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Ben?" "If you'd like to...explore the possibilities, yes, I am." "But...you know I've never..." "Chakotay, it's all right. I'd never do anything to hurt you, and if you don't want to explore a relationship, I'd never try to force you, but I am very attracted to you, and I am not looking for a lifetime commitment right now either, but I don't want a series of one night stands. I really think we are exactly what each other is looking for." "You might be right, Ben. I never thought about it before, obviously. I don't know if this is what I want, or if it's just that I've never thought of it before now...Can I have some time to think about it." "Of course, Chakotay. I'd never ask you to do this if you weren't sure of it. To be honest, there was a part of me that thought you'd say no outright. Take all the time you need to be sure. I can wait." "Thank you, Ben. Oh," Chakotay yawned, "I think it's past my bedtime. I'll see you tomorrow, Ben." Sisko moved over to him, and captured his mouth once more. As he broke the kiss, he smiled, and said, "Pleasant dreams, Chakotay." --- The next few days were very busy, as the staff at Utopia Planitia were working on the design of a new class of starship, the Intrepid class, which was to have a new technology, known as bio-neural, replacing some of the traditional circuitry. It was a very exciting time for Starfleet, and all of the people at Utopia Planitia were very excited to be in on the beginning of a new era. Chakotay hadn't had a chance to talk to Sisko again, but he had decided that yes, he did want to explore the possibilities of a relationship. He liked Sisko, and he thought that maybe he could fall in love with him someday, if they had the opportunity to take it to that level. He'd heard through gossip that Jake and Curzon Dax were heading back to Earth for a few days, and he decided that that would be the best time to talk to Sisko, when they didn't have to worry about Jake or Curzon walking in on the discussion, as Chakotay rather thought that it was a private matter, between him and Sisko. After a particularly stressful day, Chakotay decided to spend some time in the holodeck, to unwind, and then he would go and see Sisko, as Jake and Curzon had left that morning and he knew Sisko worked the same shifts he did, even though he hadn't seen much of him lately. Chakotay arrived at the holodeck, and considered which program would help him to de-stress. He considered his Arizona desert program, but he wasn't in the mood for quiet meditation, and then thought about his running program, but he didn't really feel like exerting himself physically. Then he thought of a program he hadn't run in over a year, one that he only ran occasionally, and decided that this was one of those occasions when he needed to run it. The holodeck doors opened to reveal a crowded, lively nightclub. It had a country-western motif, and as Chakotay entered, a few people called out a greeting to him, asking if he was going to play tonight. He replied that yes, he was, in a little while. He took a seat at the bar, and ordered a beer. Chakotay didn't drink a lot, even synthehol, but he always had a beer in this program, it just went with the atmosphere. He sat and drank slowly, looking at the crowd, thinking how realistic this place was, even though he'd written the program himself, it always surprised him how realistic it was, as if the illusion was more real than the reality. He rather thought that he was getting a little too existential with that thought, so he decided that now would be a good time to start doing something else. He moved over to the stage, where a holographic band was playing, and asked the computer to pause the musicians, and to provide an acoustic guitar for him. He strummed the strings experimentally, as always with computer-generated instruments it was perfectly in tune. He started the musicians again, they began by playing The Gambler, one of Chakotay's favourite songs, then moved on to Pretty Woman, Blue Bayou and Only The Lonely. Then Chakotay decided that he wanted to sing one of his father's favourite songs. "The Dance," he said to the band. They started to play. --- Looking back on the memory of, The dance we shared, 'Neath the stars above, For a moment, All the world was right, How could I have known, That you'd ever say goodbye? And I, I'm glad I didn't know, The way it all would end, The way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. Holding you, I held everything, For a moment, wasn't I a king? If I'd only known, how the key would fall, Then who's to say, you know, I might have changed it all. And I, I'm glad I didn't know, The way it all would end, The way it all would go, Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. Yes, my life, it's better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. --- Chakotay finished the song, and realised that there was someone in uniform in the crowd. It was Sisko, who looked straight at him as he applauded enthusiastically, obviously caught up in the atmosphere. "Ben, I was going to talk to you tonight," Chakotay began. "Is the answer yes?" "It is." "That's all I need to know. Now, your quarters or mine?" Chakotay raised an eyebrow at the innuendo, and answered, "Yours." "It's all right, Chakotay, I'd never do anything to hurt you." "I know, Ben. I'm just...I've never...but I told you that." Sisko just took Chakotay's arm and led him out of the holodeck. A few minutes later the two men were in Sisko's quarters. Chakotay hadn't been there before, and he looked with interest at the many African artifacts, which Sisko explained some of the legends behind. Chakotay noted with interest how similar some of the African tales were to his own people's tales of the beginning of the world and other scientific phenomena which the ancients had had no frame of reference for. Sisko offered Chakotay something to drink, and directed him to a chair. Chakotay sat down in the wooden chair, noticing it creaked rather alarmingly, but he didn't give it another thought when it didn't do it again. Sisko handed him a glass of wine, synthehol, but quite good, he assured him. Chakotay sipped it slowly, wanting this anticipation to end, and to last at the same time. Sisko finished his glass, and came over to Chakotay, gently removing his glass from his hand, and bending over to kiss him. Chakotay responded eagerly, moving on the chair, which creaked again, but Chakotay didn't even notice. He DID notice when the chair collapsed under him, as Sisko moved over him. The two men were startled, then began to laugh. "Maybe we should take this to the bedroom," Sisko suggested, when he had stopped laughing. Chakotay was hesitant, but he had made up his mind, and nodded. Sisko led him gently into the bedroom, then took him in his arms and kissed him again, pulling him close to his body. Chakotay could feel Sisko's erection through the layers of their uniforms, and was surprised to realise that he was growing hard as well. He jumped when Sisko reached a hand down to massage him through the cloth, then he began moaning, enjoying the sensatiion more than he'd ever expected to. Sisko kissed him again, then moved his lips to his cheek, his ear, then up to his forehead, tracing Chakotay's tattoo with his tongue. Chakotay shivered, no one had done that before, and the sensation went straight to his groin. He moaned again, and Sisko moved his lips back to meet Chakotay's again. Then Sisko moved down, kissing and licking Chakotay's neck, one hand moving to open the uniform closure. He pulled the uniform top off Chakotay's shoulders, touching the bronze skin, then bending to kiss it, moving from his shoulders to his chest, finding his nipples, taking one in his mouth, teasing it with lips and tongue until it was a hard point, then doing the same to the other. Chakotay couldn't do more than stand there and enjoy the sensations, they were overwhelming and so exquisite. Sisko pulled back, gently and removed the rest of Chakotay's clothes, and his own. Chakotay gasped at the sight of Sisko naked, he was powerfully built, muscular, he reminded Chakotay of some of the carvings he'd shown Chakotay earlier. He was beautiful, and Chakotay wanted to touch him everywhere, like he was doing to Chakotay. He kissed him again, then moved to suck and very gently bite at his neck. Sisko gasped, and Chakotay smiled. "Liked that?" "Yeah. Ohhh..." Chakotay smiled, obviously he wasn't the only one with sensitive nipples. He hesitantly continued, liking the response he got as he explored Sisko's chest. Then Sisko put his powerful hands, that were so gentle with Chakotay, on each side of Chakotay's head. Chakotay came up to face Sisko, wondering why he'd stopped him. "I want to do this for you, as you've never done this before," Sisko said, caressing Chakotay's tattoo, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom. He gently urged Chakotay to lie down on the bed, and lay down with him, continuing the assault on his senses all the while. He reached one hand down to grasp Chakotay's erection, feeling the heated length, one finger tracing the contours of the head, spreading the precum around it. Chakotay moaned and thrust his hips upward helplessly, seeking satisfaction. Sisko moved down, and took Chakotay into his mouth, and Chakotay screamed. Sisko smiled around him, and continued his ministrations, exploring the head with the tip of his tongue, until Chakotay was nearly sobbing with need. Sisko grasped his scrotum, caressing it gently, and after a few moments of this, Chakotay was coming in long, hot spurts into Sisko's mouth. As Chakotay came down from the heights of pleasure, Sisko moved up to hold him. "Thank you," Chakotay whispered when he could speak, "That was...incredible, Ben." "Thank you, Chakotay. This is the first time I've felt anything like this since my wife died. I was afraid that I'd never feel like this about anyone again. I don't know if I love you, not yet, but I do care about you, and I want to go on with this." "I do, too. Ben, I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone, this incredible attraction, and especially not toward another man, but now I do, it's like I've found what I was looking for all my life," Chakotay moved, and felt Sisko's erection move against his hip. "Now, what can I do for you, Ben, to make you feel as wonderful as you've made me feel?" "Chakotay, I want to make love to you, please." "You mean..." "Yes." "Yes, Ben. I want you to make love to me." Sisko smiled, and reached into one of the bedside drawer, pulling out a small tube. He moved over Chakotay, kissing him again, and Chakotay made a move to turn over, looking enquiringly as Sisko stopped him. "I want to see you, Chakotay." Chakotay complied, lying on his back, wondering how this would work, but trusting Sisko would know what he was doing. Sisko slipped a hand down between them, touching the puckered opening, slipping a finger inside, smiling as he realised Chakotay was becoming hard again. He added a second finger, sliding them in and out in a motion so sensual, all Chakotay was capable of was gasping and moaning. He brushed against Chakotay's prostate, causing a scream from the other man, and added a third finger, stretching carefully, he didn't want to cause Chakotay any pain, only pleasure. Then he removed his fingers to a gasping moan of frustration from Chakotay, and positioned Chakotay's legs over his powerful shoulders, positioning his erection at Chakotay's opening, then sliding in carefully, a few inches at a time, until he was buried deep inside Chakotay. Then he began to thrust, reaching to grasp Chakotay's erection, moving his hand on it in time to his thrusts inside Chakotay. Chakotay moaned and sobbed and thrashed and after a few minutes came all over his chest. Chakotay's orgasm caused his muscles to clench around Sisko's erection inside him, and he milked Sisko's orgasm out of him, and he came with a yell, deep inside Chakotay, then collapsed forward, onto his chest. "BEN!" Sisko came back to awareness, hearing Chakotay shout his name. "It's all right, Chakotay. I passed out, that's all." "That's ALL! I thought you'd - I don't know, died on me or something." Sisko couldn't help laughing, the man was obviously worried, though, so after a moment he sobered. "Chakotay, it happens sometimes. Usually because the pleasure of the orgasm is so intense that the body overloads, and has to shut down to recover. You should take it as a compliment, actually." Chakotay smiled, reassured. "Well, I never thought that someone passing out in bed was supposed to be a compliment, but all right," he stretched, and snuggled closer to Sisko. "Come on, we'd better take a shower." Chakotay groaned, but got up. Half an hour later, they were back in Sisko's bed, holding each other. "So, what now?" "What do you mean, Ben?" "What do we tell people?" "Could we...keep this between us for a while? I'm NOT ashamed to be seen with you, please don't think that, but some people might think, you know, that I'm taking advantage of your position as First Officer, or something like that." "Chakotay, it's fine, whatever you want. I know what you mean, some people will probably think that, it's an occupational hazard of being second-in-command. I do want to tell Curzon, he'd never gossip if I asked him not to, and I will tell Jake." "Whatever you want, Ben. You must make that decision on your own," Chakotay yawned. "Let's get some sleep. We've got to be on duty in," Sisko checked the chronometer, "Seven hours." Chakotay yawned again, and nestled into Sisko's embrace. The two men fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing that they had started something, not knowing where it would take them, but anticipating that it would be very exciting for both of them. --- The End