The BLTS Archive- Friends And Lovers: Friends and Lovers by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- Disclaimer: Everything Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom. Friends And Lovers belongs to lots of people who aren't me, but it's sung by Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson. Please do not distribute, archive, etc, without my permission. May be archived on the ASC archive, the PKSP archive, the VSPS archive, the PKElite archive and R'Rain's Slash Archive only. Others *must* ask. Please do not link to the story without my permission. FEEDBACK: Yes, please! Good, bad, tell me if you *really* think it sucked (but be gentle), but please, if you're posting it on ASCEM, cc a copy to my email, as I don't have ng access at this time, and I won't see it if you don't. Well, this is it...the last story in the series. I was having trouble figuring out when to set it in canon, and I decided to put it in the 'calm before the storm' period between Investigations and Deadlock, because, well, I felt that Tom and Harry deserved to be together before Harry was replaced (no matter how identically). --- What would you think if I told you... I've always wanted to hold you... I don't know what we're afraid of... Nothing would change if we made love... --- Damn...I came back. I didn't expect to. I really didn't. I was prepared to die on that Kazon ship. Why not? I'd lost everything I ever really wanted. But...I came back. And I got the second chance I never dared hope that I'd have. I never even dared to hope that I'd get Harry's *friendship* back. But I think...there's a chance...such a small chance...that he might still want me. And gods know I've always wanted him, wanted to hold him, to make love to him...to make him mine and have him make me his. I'm scared. Terrified, actually. I don't know why. I know, somehow, that if we made love, nothing would change. Either we would find that we're best off as friends, or we would become lovers. And I'm too scared to take that extra step. To figure out whether what we have really *can* become more. Because I was so damn scared of losing what we do have, I don't want to lose it now. Even though it might be even better. --- So I'll be your friend and I'll be your lover... Cause I know in our hearts we agree... We don't have to be one or the other... Oh no, we could be both to each other... --- Tom doesn't know what he wants. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at me. He wants to take the next step as much as I do, but he is scared of losing what we've found again as friends. He doesn't realise that we don't have to be one or the other. After all, your best friend can be your lover, and your lover can be your best friend. Libby taught me that. And Tom's the only other person I can imagine being both friend and lover to me. All I need to do is convince him. --- Yes it's a chance that we're taking... And somebody's heart could be breaking... But we can't stop what's inside us... Our love for each other will guide us... --- Well, I guess there's only one thing to do. It's a hell of a chance to take. Maybe the ultimate chance. And either of us could end up with a broken heart. But it's unstoppable, the feeling I have for Harry. And if I let it guide me, it tells me to do one thing. Go to him. Make love to him. And figure it out from there. I can live with that. I can live with him, if that's what's meant to be. It's an odd request that he made, but I wonder, is it a signal? Or am I reading too much into it? I don't know. I just know that tonight, when I walk into Sandrine's, I'll be wearing the black jeans and silver shirt I wore all those weeks ago, the night I was going to ask Harry to be with me. And I hope that is what he intends it to mean. --- I've been through you, and you've been through me... Sometimes a friend is the hardest to see... We always know when it's laid on the line... Nobody else is as easy to find... --- What we've been through, together and apart...oh, Tom, I *wish* you had told me about the situation with the Kazon, no matter what. I understand why you didn't, but I still wish you had. I guess that time was the hardest time to see friends. Did you know about Jonas? I'll ask you that tonight. Whatever else we've been, we've always been able to talk to each other, and I love that about you, Tom. Well, I love everything about you, but that's definitely one of the big things. I love that you've never treated me like a kid. That you've let me grow as I needed to. That in a million small ways, and bigger ones, that you've shown me all of your love. That's what makes it so easy to take the next step. The step that will let us be together. Oh, that's the holodeck door. I watch, unseen as you walk in, taking in the program. You smile as you walk through the doors into Sandrine's. I asked you to wear what you wore all those weeks ago, when I offered myself to you. And you did, even though I know you're wondering why. You won't have to wonder long, my love. You grin, that smile that makes my body ache with wanting. "Reporting as ordered, Ensign," with a smile that belies the formality of your words. I step out, and I wonder that you can't hear my heart beating as I stand. You see, and realise, that I, too, am wearing the same clothes as all those weeks ago, the dark blue t-shirt and white trousers. "Is this..." you indicate our clothes, "deliberate?" "Very deliberate, Tom. I want to make the same offer to you that I made all those weeks ago. I know why you turned me down then, and perhaps more than ever, I know why you turned me down all those months ago, at the start of our journey. But now...there is nothing stopping us. So I will ask you, in plain language, so there is no misunderstanding. Will you make love to me? I love you, and I want to be with you forever, or as long as we are granted." Tears prick at my eyes, and I can see that he's struggling to hold them back, too. "Harry...to finally hear you say it..." his voice breaks, "Yes. I love you and I want to be with you forever." I move into his arms, and I know now that we are both home, no matter where our journey takes us from here. --- The End