The BLTS Archive- A Touch of Healing by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- Characters belong to Paramount/Viacom. This story is a prequel to my Voyager/Highlander stories.  In The Song Remembers When, I established that Chakotay had been kidnapped and raped by the Cardassian Gul Evek.  This story takes place immediately after that. This story contains some non-graphic discussion of m/m rape, and consensual m/m sex between Chakotay and Garak.   Distribution:  No archiving anywhere but the CPSG archive, R'Rain's archive and the ASC archive without my permission. No distribution other than ASC/EM, the CPSG list and the BLTS list without my permission. Dedicated to Cam, who writes a Garak I adore, and Mona.  You know what this means . --- Chakotay shivered in the cool cell.  After being captured by the Cardassians, he had been brought to Gul Evek.  He hadn't shown the fear he felt, but he knew Evek's reputation, and feeling of hatred towards the Maquis.  He hadn't expected to emerge from this encounter unscathed, if at all, but he'd *never* have expected the Cardassian to exact his revenge in the way he had. ...hands, ripping the clothing from his body... Chakotay didn't want to think about what would happen that night.  He'd been told to be prepared at this time for someone to fetch him and take him to Evek's quarters.  And he knew that few Maquis prisoners emerged from such...encounters with their bodies and minds intact. Was this what his life had led him to?  Was this his destiny, to be used and destroyed by an enemy? Chakotay managed to lose himself in meditation for a few moments, and was startled to hear the door of the cell open.  So it was happening.  He would accept it, and meet it with dignity and courage. A Cardassian he had never met stood in the doorway.  He regarded Chakotay curiously. "So, you are what a Maquis warrior looks like," he said in a gravelly voice that Chakotay might have found attractive in other circumstances, coming from another species.  Then Chakotay looked into the other man's eyes.  A startling shade of blue, they radiated something he'd never associated with Cardassians before.  Kindness and compassion. "I am under orders to take you to Gul Evek," the Cardassian said, sounding regretful, but resigned, "It's a pity, because I think you have endured enough already." "Well, if I could do anything about it, I wouldn't be here," Chakotay replied calmly. "I could get you out of here...if you'll do something for *me*." Chakotay couldn't disguise the look of horror that crossed his face at that suggestion. "It's not what you think!" "I'm sorry...it was just so..." "I want you to send a message to someone when you get somewhere you can do it safely.  I'll tell you the words to input into the computer...you don't speak Cardassian by any chance?" "No, I don't.  Is that necessary?" "It would be better, but it's not a requirement.  I can give you the phonetic spellings." "And this is all you want from me?" "Yes, Captain." "Chakotay.  It's the least I can do for the man who is saving my life." "And I am Elim." "Just Elim?" "That is all you need to know." 'There's probably more to this message, but I'm going to hope that it's not something that goes against my personal beliefs.  It probably is something I don't want to know about, but I'm willing to take this at face value if I can get out of here,' Chakotay thought. "Let's go," Chakotay said aloud. The journey out of Evek's compound was short and uneventful. Chakotay almost turned around immediately when he realised that Elim's transportation was a Federation runabout, until Elim explained that he lived on the Federation station, Deep Space Nine, formerly Terek Nor, and the runabout had been the only mode of transportation he had been able to borrow without occasioning comment. "Sit down," Elim invited. Chakotay was able to chuckle at the invitation. "I'm not sure that's a good idea right now." "I'm sorry," Elim answered, "I'll see what I can do for you once we're away from Evek's compound." Chakotay remained standing, and Elim flew them efficiently away from Cardassia Prime.  Their conversation was interesting and varied, and Chakotay liked the other man's intellect.  "If he weren't Cardassian, I'd think of him as a friend," Chakotay thought, "Or even a potential lover - where did *that* thought come from?" Then he realised, watching Elim's hands move over the controls, he was a beautiful man. And it had been a long time since he and Seska had really connected, in or out of bed.  She was very possessive of him, and he knew that he couldn't start a relationship with anyone else under his command with her working so closely with him. It was a pity, he found Miguel Ayala attractive, but it was just too awkward, especially as he hadn't formally ended his relationship with Seska.  He realised that he was being spoken to. "Yes?" "What had you so deep in thought, Chakotay?" "Just wondering how I got here. This is *not* how I envisioned my life ten years ago," and Chakotay told Elim about his time in Starfleet, the death of his father, and his decision to join the Maquis. "I can't say you did the right thing for my people, but you did the right thing for you. And that is all any of us can do.  Do you have..someone special?" "Not any more. There was a woman, but it didn't work out.  And you?" "There is someone, but I don't know if he feels more for me than just friendship.  And the friendship is so wonderful that I don't want to risk it if he doesn't feel more.  I'd hate to lose what I do have with him on the chance of what I might have with him." "Elim, I think you should.  What if he does feel the same way you do?  If he doesn't, I'm sure he wouldn't end the friendship just over your having deeper feelings than he does.  Unless he doesn't desire men, of course." "He told me about a former lover who was male. But he was human too.  What if he's only attracted to humans, or those species close to humans in appearance?" Elim finished, remembering a Bajoran dabo girl. "Elim...any man who found men attractive would find you attractive," Chakotay almost regretted the words, but the smile they elicited was worth the possible humiliation.  'Really, Chakotay, could you *be* any more obvious?  He's clearly in love with this man.' "Ah...now, what can I do for your...injuries," Elim began looking in the medkit, finding a dermal regenerator, and a hypospray with a mild analgesic.   Chakotay removed his torn, dirty clothing, gladly allowing Elim to place them in the recycler.  He lay down on the bunk, allowing Elim to run the regenerator over his bruised and broken skin, shivering when it hummed over his more sensitive areas. Elim replicated Chakotay a pair of black trousers and a brown shirt. Simple, but cut so beautifully, they seemed more formal than they were. "You like them?" Elim asked, almost shyly. "Yes, thank you," and Chakotay couldn't help it, he drew the other man into his arms in thanks. "Why, what's this all about?" Elim asked, reciprocating the embrace. "Just...thank you for helping me see that there is goodness in both sides." "You are welcome, my friend." "Elim, I'm going to do something I'll probably regret," and Chakotay covered the other man's mouth with his own. "Why would you regret it?" Elim asked, as they separated when the need to breathe became overwhelming. "But...your friend..." "Isn't here. And I might never have this with him, but I can have it now, with you.  I've always said, never waste an opportunity." "Probably a good philosophy," Chakotay said, before gently kissing Elim's neck ridge. "Oh...yes, Chakotay.  You don't find them repulsive?" "Elim," Chakotay whispered, "They are among the features that make you one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen." "Well, then," Elim smiled, and picked Chakotay up, depositing him gently on the bunk.  He removed Chakotay's clothing carefully, then his own. Chakotay gasped in appreciation at the sight before him. Elim was grey, all over, with intricate patterns of scales extending from each of his ridges. There was a pattern, triangular, of scales just above Elim's erection, that Chakotay wanted nothing more than to run his fingers over, so he did, causing the most beautiful moan of pleasure from Elim.   "Chakotay, are you sure?" Elim asked, when he could form a coherent thought again. "We wouldn't have gotten this far if I weren't," Chakotay replied, pulling Elim down to him for a kiss that left them both gasping for air. "Yes, but Chakotay, you just went through..." "That's exactly why I need this.  I need to erase that experience from my mind. And what better way than by doing the same thing by choice?  Because if I didn't *want* this, Elim, you would have gotten no further than a polite handshake for the clothing." "Then you must be sure," Elim breathed, capturing Chakotay's lips again.   They kissed, more and more passionately, Chakotay exploring Elim's scales, Elim exploring Chakotay's smooth bronzed flesh. Elim gasped when Chakotay captured a slightly darker grey nipple between his teeth, and bit gently.   "Aaah," Elim moaned, "Chakotay...I want you inside me." "But...I wanted to..." "No.  You may *think* you're ready for that now, but you aren't.  I know, from...experience." "All right," Chakotay agreed, pulling Elim to him once more. Chakotay began exploring Elim's puckered opening, finding that it produced a lubrication of its own.   "That must come in handy," Chakotay murmured against Elim's neck. "It does, on occasion," Elim agreed, caressing Chakotay's hardness. Chakotay shuddered, and moved Elim onto his back. "I want to see you," he said, softly, caressing Elim's hardness, then slipping a finger inside him. He waited a moment, until his lover had finished shuddering.  He added a second, waiting again for the shuddering to stop, and a third.  When he felt that Elim was ready, he gently thrust into him, moving gently, not wanting to hurt, and trigger a memory for either of them.  A few more steady thrusts, and he was buried inside his lover.  He stopped, for a moment, to feel their joining, then began thrusting.  He captured Elim's delightfully scaled hardness in his hand, and began moving on it in time with his gentle thrusts in and out of Elim's body.  They were moaning, increasing in volume as both neared orgasm, and when Chakotay gave one last, deep thrust, and exploded inside Elim, a moment later, Elim screamed, and covered them both with clear, viscous fluid. They broke apart, Chakotay pulling out of Elim to a moan of disappointment, and lay, side by side, gasping. "Elim...there are no words to describe my feelings." "Nor mine, t'hy'la." "T'hy'la?  Now how did a Cardassian learn a Vulcan term of endearment?" "I have secrets far more numerous than you know, my beautiful Chakotay.  You could never learn them in the short time we have," and then the ship's sensors beeped. "It seems the time was shorter than we thought," Chakotay sighed in disappointment. "Yes.  We have only ten minutes before I must leave you, if you wish to be left in the Demilitarised Zone." "I must be.  Or my people will never find me." "Then shower, quickly." Chakotay did so, and seven minutes later, he was making what he knew would be a final farewell. "I know we've only known each other a few hours," Chakotay sighed, "But I am going to *miss* you, Elim." "And I you." "Elim," Chakotay's expression was serious, "Tell him. You can't go on never knowing." "I will. And Chakotay, I hope you will remember me. I know this has been a difficult time, but maybe I have helped to make it a little less so?" "I could never forget you, Elim.  You have made it possible for me to love again." And Chakotay was caught in the beam of the shuttle's transporter. "Goodbye, t'hy'la," Elim Garak said, although he knew Chakotay couldn't hear him. A few hours later, Elim docked the runabout on DS9.  He endured an interrogation from Odo, and was relieved to be able to head back to his tailor's shop.  He passed the infirmary on the way, and heard his name called out. "Garak!" "Yes, Doctor?" "Have you time to join me for lunch?  I have something I want to discuss with you.  Something I've been putting off for a long time." "Really?  What a coincidence," Elim smiled, and allowed the doctor to lead him to a secluded table in Quark's. "Garak-Elim," Julian Bashir began, "There's something I've been meaning to tell you..." --- The End