The BLTS Archive- The Fantasy series:
TLC
by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com)

---

Considering the state of health of several of the CPSG list members
lately, this story was inevitable.

We all know that they belong to Paramount and not me, right?
There's also a quote from General Hospital in here that's not mine as
well.

Just to prove I can do it, this story has no song in it.  Just thought
I'd see if I could do it.  And besides, how could the poor boy sing
feeling this way?  I even managed to come up with a title, all on my.
Not that it's terribly original or anything, but I *did* think of
one.  Oh, and it *does* have a plot, kind of, as well as m/m sex
(hey,) and lots of snugglebunnies (more help for Mona's shelter!) and
TLC for poor Tom.

Only to be posted on the CPSG list, BLTS, R'Rain's archive and my
page.

Just to relate it to my canon, it's set about a month after This River
and Wicked Game.

For Mona, Siubhan, Debbie, Kya and Simone.  Consider this virtual.

---

"I *still* don't see why we have to tour the hospitals, Chakotay.
Isn't this more the Holodoc's area?"

"Apparently on this planet, Tom, the planetary leaders are also the
doctors, or whatever it was that they were called.  And Kathryn
managed to get out of it, because they're such a male-dominated
society.  Besides, we *need* the supplies they've offered us.  Now,"
his voice deepened, "Come here for a minute."

Tom grinned at him, "Why?"

"Just come here, flyboy.  We've still got an hour or so before we
need to get ready for that tour, and I can think of much more....
interesting ways to spend that time than talking."

"Well, if you put it that way," and Tom covered the distance across
the room in three strides, pulling his lover into his arms, kissing
him deeply. Chakotay's mouth opened under his, welcoming his tongue
inside.  As Tom's tongue danced with Chakotay's, he traced his
jawline with a single long finger, moving up to trace his tattoo.
Then he followed the trail his finger had taken with his tongue,
eventually tracing that intricate design with his tongue the way he
loved to. Chakotay moaned with pleasure, this was one of the things
that Tom was *too* good at for his equilibrium to stand.  But he
didn't need to stand it, he could lose himself in the feelings,
diplomatic duties be *damned* if they came between him and Tom.

"I love you," Chakotay said, moaning as Tom moved his tongue
down to trace the shell of his ear.

Tom stopped what he was doing and looked at him, seriously.

"Gods, Chakotay, this really is...it's...I can't explain it.  I don't
think those three words are enough, but they're all we have.  I love
you."

Chakotay gathered him into his arms, knowing what Tom was trying
to say.  The emotions were too strong for simple words.  Chakotay
knew that his lover was still insecure about how strong his feelings
were, the memory of the feelings when he'd thought that Chakotay
wasn't even interested in him as a friend still raw, even with the
love they'd shared over the past month.  Chakotay tried to be as
reassuring as he could, but he knew that only time and knowledge of
his commitment would reassure Tom.  Stroking Tom's hair gently, he
kissed him again, being gentle with him as he always was, waiting for
Tom to moan in frustration before deepening the kiss.  Their tongues
tangled again, thrusting against each other in the rhythm that their
bodies would soon thrust against each other.  Chakotay's hands
moved to Tom's uniform, slowly pulling down the zipper, easing him
out of the sleeves, then pulling the turtleneck over his head,
smoothing his ruffled hair, then causing Tom to gasp as he lightly bit
his neck.  Tom's hands were unfastening Chakotay's uniform while
this was continuing, and Chakotay was so lost in kissing Tom that he
didn't realise that Tom was trying to take off his turtleneck until
Tom gently pulled back from him.

"What?"

"Lover, as pleasurable as just kissing is, I need more.  And if you
*don't* stop for long enough to let me get you naked, we'll both have
very *interesting* stains on our uniforms, which I'd really rather
*not* try to explain to an alien people.  Or," he added, grinning,
"Captain Janeway."

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Kathryn Janeway's
face if they *did* do that, but agreed that it wasn't really a good
idea, and allowed Tom to remove the rest of his uniform, doing the
same to Tom.  They moved into each other's arms again, upon removing
their uniforms, and gasped at the feel of skin on skin.  Chakotay's
hands ran through Tom's hair, loving the feel of the softness in his
fingers.  Tom was kissing him as if his life depended on it, their
tongues and lips duelling frantically.  Chakotay moved a hand
between them, causing Tom to moan as he moved a hand over his
erection, moving gently and confidently, practiced thumb stroking the
head, spreading the drops of precum to allow his hand to glide more
smoothly along the heated length.

Tom moaned, then found enough presence of mind to gasp,
"We'd...oh *yes*, do that *again*," as Chakotay traced his ear with
his tongue, "We'd better move this to the bedroom, 'Kotay."

Chakotay smiled at the nickname, Tom had asked him once if he'd
ever had a nickname from a lover, and when he'd said no, Tom had
decided on the shortened form of his name.  It was only used
between them, never in public, and it was one of the many special
things they shared.  Things that would, Chakotay hoped, reassure
Tom of his love and commitment.  It was, Chakotay thought, painfully
obvious that Tom didn't know what it was to be loved.  He'd tried to
open Tom up about his past, and Tom had trusted him enough to
talk about it.  He hadn't, as Chakotay had feared might have been
the case, been attacked while in prison.  Chakotay had breathed an
imperceptible sigh of relief when Tom had told him that.  Then,
gently, Chakotay had asked about Tom's father.  That had been
more difficult for Tom to talk about.

Although he'd *never* hit Tom, Owen Paris had been *extremely*
verbally abusive to his son.  It was obvious from Tom's story of his
teenage years that until he was fifteen, Owen had been a domineering
but proud father, expecting Tom to live up to his high expectations as
a matter of course. Then Owen had been captured and tortured by the
Cardassians.  It had changed Owen's psyche profoundly, and even Tom's
best efforts at anything were met with ridicule and cutting remarks.
It had led, in the end, to the accident at Caldik Prime, and Tom's
covering it up to avoid more scorn from his father.  Even that had not
gone as it should have, and that was when Owen had disowned Tom.  That
had hurt Tom.  He'd done everything he could to get his father to care
for him again, and it had led to complete estrangement from his
father.

Then there had been the years he'd spent crawling every bar in the
Alpha Quadrant, trying to forget the feelings of utter loss and
helplessness that came over him at every thought of his father.
Sandrine had saved him.

Chakotay had been surprised when Tom had said that, he'd known that
Sandrine meant a lot to Tom, he treated her hologram very much as he
treated Kathryn Janeway, with a respect and caring that went far
beyond sexual desire or friendship.  It had been the first time Tom
had known affection that didn't have an ulterior motive since his
mother's death, and he'd thrived under it.  Sandrine had been much
more than a lover to him, although they *had* been lovers briefly,
that hadn't been the focus of their relationship.  She had, Chakotay
thought, restored Tom's faith in people, enabling him to realise that
not everyone only wanted him because he was beautiful, but because he
was worth knowing and caring for.  He just had to take him that one
step further, and convince him that he was truly loved and needed.

Chakotay knew that he wasn't going to last long enough to get to the
bedroom, pull the lubricant out of the bedside table and prepare
Tom for lovemaking.

"No time," he gasped, knowing that Tom would understand.

Tom stopped his exploration of Chakotay's neck for a moment,
pulling back to look speculatively at his lover, a look of utter
arousal and need on his face, giving way to a smile so bright,
Chakotay had to look away, it was too much.  He knew that Tom loved
knowing that he could affect Chakotay this way, make him so
inchoherent with need and lust that he couldn't even wait to get to
the bedroom, that he had to have *something* now.  Tom guided him over
to the couch, never letting up on the assault of his neck.  Chakotay
was moaning constantly, knowing that it wouldn't take much more to
send him over the edge.  Tom's hands were all over him, stroking his
erection, pinching his nipples, gliding over his back, teasing between
his buttocks, and Chakotay was going insane with the feelings Tom
was drawing out of him.  Then Tom's mouth descended on his
erection, and his thought processes stopped completely, his mind
unable to process anything but the soft wet heat of Tom's mouth on
him, the tongue licking and stroking, the lips moving, the hands
caressing.

Chakotay moved his hips, cried out and came into Tom's eager
mouth.  He fell back onto the couch, gulping huge breaths of air,
pulling Tom into his arms.

"Liked that?" Tom asked, settling next to his lover.

"You know I did," Chakotay sighed, placing a gentle kiss on Tom's
forehead.  He knew that his lover needed the reassurances, but
hoped one day that Tom would be secure enough to just lie there
with him, enjoying the aftermath of lovemaking.  Chakotay pushed
those thoughts out of his mind, stroking his lover gently, kissing him
lightly, then with more intent, deepening the kiss, moving a hand
down to wrap it around Tom's erection.  Tom gasped, pulling his
head back from Chakotay's hungry kiss, as Chakotay continued the
movements that he knew would send his lover over the edge soon.
Tom was so beautiful like this, pure love and desire shining in his
eyes, face contorted in rapture.  He never let up on his stroking of
Tom, Tom thrusting into his hand, Chakotay moving his fingers gently
but insistently over Tom, making Tom moan with need, thrusting one
more time into those relentlessly moving fingers, then coming with a
soft cry of pleasure.

Chakotay smiled at Tom, letting all the love he felt for him show in
his eyes.  This was the time he loved most with Tom, even more than
the actual lovemaking.  The time just after, when Tom was flushed
and warm from his orgasm, and so beautiful, Chakotay could hardly
bear to look at him.

"This is what it's about, Tom."

"What's about?" Tom murmured sleepily, trying to keep awake.

"What love is about.  It's not the feeling of you inside me, or me
inside you, or your mouth or hands on me or vice versa.  It's holding
each other, knowing how we feel, just being together without having
to say or do anything, just to feel the other."

"That's love, Chakotay?" and Tom's eyes were incredulous and
beautiful.

"Yes.  Lovemaking is certainly a part of that, of course, but it's the
rest of it that makes lovemaking special when you truly love the other
person."

"I..." Tom began to speak, but they were interrupted by the computer.

"You wished to be informed of the time at 1100 hours," came the
voice of the computer.

"Later, Tom," Chakotay promised, "We'll talk more about this.  But
we *do* have work to do, and I need a shower first, and so do you."

"Why don't we take it together?  It'll...save water," Tom grinned at
him, defenses back in place.

Chakotay wished that they'd had time to continue the conversation,
but he knew that he'd only have a *little* work to do to get back to
that point later, having gotten there more easily than he'd thought.

Smiling, he allowed his beautiful young lover to lead him into the
bathroom so they could shower and change into fresh uniforms for
the tour of the planet's hospital facilities.

They were quick, not having time to do anything more than shower.
Not that Chakotay would have *minded* doing more, although they
hadn't made love in the shower yet, it was something that Chakotay
had always enjoyed with lovers, and he knew that Tom had as well.

They were dressed and ready in plenty of time, and leisurely made
their way to the turbolift, optimistic about meeting this new alien
race, even though it seemed rather sexist, they had to allow that it
was the way things were done on that planet, no matter how odd it
seemed to them.  That was one thing that Starfleet taught it's
officers, to accept that not every culture was as tolerant as the
Federation of things that Starfleet officers took for granted.

Almost four hours later, Chakotay wished that he'd remembered that
particular teaching a little sooner.  He and Tom had been taken on a
tour of the most backward, antiquated hospital system imaginable.  It
wasn't even up to 20th century standards, that would have been a
vast improvement over what they had seen.  It had been like
something out of a nightmare, dark, cramped, awful-smelling,
unsterile.  Tom had been shocked, his fair skin turning pale at the
atrocities.  Chakotay had tried, diplomatically, to tell the planet's
leaders of some of the things that they could do to improve
conditions.  Tom, meanwhile had continued on the tour with a lesser
dignitary.  He had been polite, because he hadn't wanted to create
any intergalactic incidents.  However, when a patient had coughed
right in his face, he'd been unable to prevent recoiling.  That had
been a mistake.  In this culture, it was considered cowardice to do
anything but face illness head on.  Relations had deteriorated rapidly
after that moment, especially when Chakotay had tenderly touched
Tom, although not in an overtly sexual way, after a particularly nasty
exchange.  It appeared that the planet was not only backward in it's
medical procedures, it also had a prejudice against same-sex
relationships.  Chakotay called for a beam-up after *that* little
revelation, knowing that diplomatic relations with this planet had
been irreparably damaged by both incidents.

"I'm going to take a shower, 'Kotay," said Tom, once they got back to
his quarters, "I won't feel clean again until I do."

"I wish I could stay with you," Chakotay said, feeling an
overwhelming feeling of protectiveness toward his lover, "But I have
to explain this to Kathryn.  She deserves to hear it in person, after
all."

"Of course she does.  Um, I don't feel like seeing anyone else
tonight, 'Kotay, that glance from Ayala in the transporter room was
enough.  Can we eat here?"

"Of course.  I shouldn't be long.  Besides, I promised you that we'd
talk later, didn't I?"

Tom smiled at that, and Chakotay had to leave, or he wouldn't be
able to hold himself back from taking Tom there and then.

Chakotay made his way to the bridge, tension in every line of his
body.  He *knew* that he and Tom hadn't done anything wrong, but
he still felt that he should have done more.  Now they had lost the
supplies offered, and although restocking hadn't been urgent, thank
the gods, it was still a setback.

"My ready room, now," Kathryn Janeway said, the instant Chakotay
stepped off the turbolift.  He followed her, knowing that this wasn't
likely to be easy.

"Well, Commander, I presume you do have an explanation as to why
relations with a seemingly friendly planet deteriorated so much in so
short a time?"

"Yes Captain, I most certainly do," and Chakotay began by
explaining the hospital conditions, at which Kathryn gasped in shock.
He continued, and when he mentioned the incident with Tom, she
just shook her head at the strangeness and ignorance of this culture.
He was reluctant to continue, but forced himself to, telling Kathryn
of the shouting match, after which he'd touched Tom's cheek, gently,
not realising the prejudice the culture had had against same-sex
relationships.

"And I think that was the last straw, Captain.  I know it was for me."

"Well, Commander, things *might* have been handled slightly better,
but it certainly isn't your fault.  Don't blame yourself, Chakotay,"
she finished with a soft smile.

"Thank you, Kathryn," he answered, knowing that the formal part of
the meeting was finished, "I still think that maybe I shouldn't have
touched Tom, but I just wanted to..."

"Make sure he was okay.  Chakotay, there's no *way* you could have
known about this.  I mean, it's not even as if you committed a great
violation of protocol.  A minor one, perhaps, but certainly nothing to
worry about."

"I'll try not to do things like that again.  I just feel
so...protective of Tom.  There's a lot of emotional baggage there, you
know."

"I know, Chakotay.  But you shouldn't smother him, either, you know.
The man is a survivor, you know."

"I know.  He just seems so vulnerable sometimes.  I just want to take
him into my arms and make everything else except the two of us go
away."

"All lovers feel that way, Chakotay.  I remember when Mark..."
Kathryn trailed off, not wanting to go there, the memories were
painful still of the man she'd left behind.

"It's still not easy for you, is it, Kathryn?"

"No, it's not.  If I were able to let the memories go...maybe I could
think of having a relationship with someone else.  I look at you and
Tom, Harry and B'Elanna, Jerron and Wildman, going on with your
lives, finding each other, it makes me think, maybe I  should look for
someone here on the ship, accept that it's been three years, we
might  *never* get back to earth.  But there's a part of me that
*can't* do that yet.  I think it's getting weaker, though.  I'll never
stop trying, or believing that we *will* get back, but as more time
passes, I wonder if it'll be in *our* lifetimes.  I just think that we
have to accept that we might be living our lives out on this ship."

Chakotay was stunned.  That Kathryn would admit this, even now,
was shocking.  He remembered some of their early conversations
on this topic, when they'd first become lost, and how determined
she'd been that they *would* get home, and soon.

"I know," she said, noticing the look on Chakotay's face, "Never
thought you'd hear me say that, did you, Chakotay?  Well, I'm
realistic.  I still pray that one day I'll see my home and family
again, but I have to face reality.  We all do.  I mean, *how* many
applications have I had for marriage ceremonies from all cultures?
People are starting to look on this ship as home.  I think I'll have
to start thinking this way too.  Now I know that you're dying to get
back to Tom, so go.  I'll be fine."

"Are you sure, Kathryn?"

"Please.  If you don't go on, how will I have an example to follow?"

Chakotay smiled, and took his leave of his friend.  He'd once thought
that she would be more, but it hadn't been meant to be.

He couldn't keep the smile from his face, tonight was going to be
special for him and Tom.  Harry glanced up at him as he left the
bridge, and afterwards swore to B'Elanna that Chakotay had glowed.

Chakotay leaned on Tom's door chime, not hearing his response,
but knowing that he had responded because the door opened.  He
stepped into the cabin, and smiled.  Tom had been busy.  The table
was set, with candles lit, and soft classical music was playing.

"Hey," Tom said, opening a bottle of synth-wine.

"Hey," Chakotay repeated, moving over to kiss him.

"What do you feel like?" Tom asked, after a moment.

"You know that better than I do," Chakotay teased.

"I *meant* for dinner, 'Kotay.  You're insatiable."

"Well, I can't help myself.  Every time I look at you, I feel
incomplete
if I can't touch you."

Tom smiled at that, it was how he felt himself.

"'Kotay?"

"Uh, Chinese?"

"Sounds good," and Tom ordered sweet and sour pork with rice for
two.

They ate in companionable silence, stopping periodically to kiss or
caress.  Just as they were finished eating, Tom yawned hugely.

"Sorry, 'Kotay," he apologised, his voice husky with fatigue, "I'm
exhausted.  I think the whole day has finally caught up with me.  I
know we were going to talk more, but all I want to do is fall into bed
and sleep.  You don't have to stay."

"I'm not going *anywhere*, Tom.  Don't apologise for feeling tired
after the day we've had.  Now, come on, let's go to bed."

Tom allowed himself to be led into the bedroom and undressed.
Chakotay then undressed himself and slid into bed with Tom, holding
him in his arms.  Tom's last thought as he went to sleep was that he
hoped that the headache he felt starting would be gone by morning.

A few hours later, Tom woke up, drenched in sweat, his head
pounding, his body aching.

"Gods, no," he groaned, knowing that this was the result of that
whole incident earlier that day.

Chakotay stirred, "What is it, Tom?" he asked, sleepily.

"Go back to sleep, 'Kotay," he said, then began coughing violently.

Instantly alert, Chakotay called for lights.

"Tom, what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure.  I just woke up, and I feel awful."

"Must be from earlier.  Computer, beam Lieutenant Paris and myself
to Sickbay immediately," and they were caught in the beam.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the Doctor said,
as he was automated.

"Tom-Lieutenant Paris is ill, Doctor."

"Really?  How is that possible?"  Chakotay gave a description of the
events of the day, and was treated to the sight of a wincing
hologram.

"Commander, I'm shocked that you are not ill as well.  You are
feeling all right?"

"Perfectly fine, Doctor.  Take care of Tom, and you can look at me
then, just to be sure."

"Very well, Commander.  Would you like to sit down and wait?"

"Thank you," and Chakotay sat and waited for the Doctor to finish his
examination of Tom.

"Commander," called the Doctor.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Lieutenant Paris is suffering from a viral infection.  Although we do
not have the medication to eradicate it, my tests indicate that once
the virus runs it's course, the Lieutenant will be fine.  And I *can*
treat the symptoms.  However, I recommend bed rest for at least
three days.  He can do that in his quarters, but I would like for
someone to stay with him."

"I'll be fine, Doc.  There's no need for anyone to stay with me," came
Tom's weak protest.

"Tom," Chakotay came over to him, "Don't start talking that way.  I'll
stay with you.  And I don't want to hear any more about it."

"But your duty..."

"My duty is to take care of you, Tom.  The rest can, for the moment,
go hang.  I'm sure Tuvok will cope quite well as acting first officer
for a few days."

Tom's flushed face was incredulous.  That this man would let his
duties as first officer be less important than him....

"Gods," Tom whispered.

"What?"

"I understand."

"What do you understand?"

"What you've been trying to tell me."

"What?"

"What love is about, 'Kotay.  This is what love's about.  You would
take care of me and let your duties fall to someone else."

"Would you do the same for me if our positions were reversed?"

"Of course I would, 'Kotay,"  Tom coughed.

"Well, then, you *do* understand.  I love you, Thomas Eugene Paris,
and I will spend my life proving it."

"I think you just did, 'Kotay."

Chakotay smiled at Tom, feeling that hot, damp forehead with his
hand.

The next few days quickly settled into a routine.  Tom slept almost
constantly.  While he was asleep, Chakotay worked on the myriad of
things that he had to catch up on.  When Tom was awake, he would
bring him cool drinks, massage his aching limbs and back gently, or
just hold him and talk.

That was it.  Kathryn, Harry and B'Elanna stopped in occasionally to
visit, and smiled to see Chakotay waiting on Tom hand and foot, but
they spent the time mostly alone.

Tom was finally starting to realise just how deep Chakotay's feelings
for him were, and how deep his were for the older man.

A week after the incident, Tom was fully recovered, and was able to
fly the ship again.  Everyone noticed the difference in him.  It
wasn't obvious, but the sarcastic humour had less bite, he was more
attuned to other people and was just generally, subtly different.

After he finished his shift, he headed for Chakotay's quarters,
knowing that he would find his lover there.

"Evening," Chakotay greeted him as he entered.

"Evening," Tom replied, moving into his lover's arms and kissing him.

"Tom, I've got something to ask you," Chakotay said, sounding
serious.

Tom looked worried for a moment.

"Don't worry so much.  It's good," Chakotay said as he observed that
look.

"Sorry.  I just..."

"I know.  Well, there's no way to say this other than straight out, so
to speak.  Will you move in here with me?"

Tom blinked, and said, "What?"

"You heard me, Tom.  Yes or no?"

"Yes, oh, yes, 'Kotay.  I'd love to live with you.  When?"

"Whenever you like.  I've had it approved, of course."

"Oh, of course," Tom grinned, "So how does Janeway feel about it?"

"She's happy for us, of course."

"Well, I think we should celebrate, what do you think?"

"Oh, I agree, Tom.  How would you suggest we do that?"

"Come here and I'll think of something," said Tom, taking Chakotay
in his arms and kissing him passionately.

---

The End