The BLTS Archive- Born To Give My Love To You by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- Disclaimer: Everything Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom. Born To Give My Love To You is written by Pat Burch, Pam Rose and Mary Anne Kennedy and is sung by Martina McBride on her album Wild Angels. Please do not distribute, archive, etc, without my permission. May be archived on the ASC archive, the CPSG archive and R'Rain's Slash Archive only. Posting to BLTS, CPSG, ASC/EM only. Anything else, please ask first. I will probably say yes, but I'd prefer to know about it. It seems very appropriate to me to be writing a story based on a song by Martina McBride to commemorate the first anniversary of the CPSG list. Not only did a song of hers inspire me to start writing at all, my first C/P story was based on one of her songs. Although I am inspired by many and varied things, Martina McBride's music is very special to me, as are Tom and Chakotay. And Tom and Chakotay would not be as special as they are without the brilliant performances of Robert Duncan McNeill and Robert Beltran. To these three brilliant and talented people, as well as to all of my wonderful CPSG listfamily, I dedicate this story. And a special thanks to Gill for beta reading. --- "Can you believe it's been a year already?" Tom asked, softly. "No, I can't," Chakotay replied, swallowing a cup of what Neelix called coffee in three gulps. "What's the hurry? Hot date?" "Not likely. Captain Janeway wants me to go over some reports with her before I report to the bridge." "You *sure* it's not a date?" Tom teased. "Considering the amount of time I spent crying on your shoulder about what didn't happen on New Earth, I'm surprised you're asking." "Hope springs eternal? Or maybe I'm just wondering if we'll end up with company tonight. I don't know if I'd want that, though. I think tonight is just for us. We can share it with the rest of the crew tomorrow." "Sounds good to me. When do you want to meet?" "1900? We can eat there." "Okay, I'll see you then," and Chakotay stood to leave, touching Tom briefly on the shoulder as he left. The morning passed quickly, and Tom joined Harry and B'Elanna for lunch. "So, it's the big night tonight?" asked B'Elanna. "Yes. I still can't believe we managed to do this for a year without killing each other." "I knew you could both do it. All it took was some compromises." "More than you know, Harry." "Really?" "Yeah, and I'll tell you about them sometime, but I have to get back on duty," and Tom was gone. "Fifty credits says that it's tonight that Tom says something." "You have a deal, Maquis. And fifty more says that Chakotay agrees." "Done," and they shook hands. "I can't believe it hasn't been sooner," B'Elanna reflected. "I can. Tom doesn't know if he should say something. But I think I've gotten him to realise that if neither of them ever says anything, he'll never know. And he thinks that would be worse. I don't know when he'll say it though, we had that conversation three weeks ago." "I suppose we'll know tomorrow." "If it's good, we will. But you know Tom..." "If it's bad, *you'll* know. See you later?" "Dinner?" "Sure. And later...did I ever tell you that I love to throw things at you?" "Not often enough," and she kissed him quickly, wanting to get back to the engines. After the duty shifts ended, Tom went back to his quarters to change clothes. After some deliberation, he settled on a blue shirt and cream-coloured trousers, then, before he could lose his nerve, he had to leave for the holodeck. Chakotay was waiting for him. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but the more time he could spend with him, the better. "After you," Tom gestured, keying in the program. "Spirits, Tom, this is wonderful!" "You like?" "More than I thought I would. I'm glad we're spending this time here alone." "Me too," and Tom stepped into the program. It was beautiful, he thought, one of his best. A beautiful house, on Earth, an amalgamation of many of their close friends' memories and fantasies. He had been working on this a long time, and he was pleased that Chakotay liked it. They slowly walked up the path, one of Chakotay's contributions, it was red brick, mellowed with age, leading to white marble steps. The door was opened by a holgraphic butler, and they were in an atrium with apricot-coloured walls and marble floor. "I could spend all my time in this room alone! Whose is this?" Chakotay asked. "B'Elanna's. It's so welcoming, isn't it?" "Yes. What did the Captain contribute?" "The dining room. At the end of the hall," and they moved in that direction. "Oh..." It was...formal. Very formal. The decoration was tasteful and lovely, but it was not a room that encouraged...fun. "I know. I like it, but I think this was Captain Janeway, not Kathryn. I couldn't get her to consider anything else, either." "I know. She's...too Starfleet to do any less. Even now..." "Yeah," Tom agreed, softly. "Let's see the other rooms," Chakotay suggested, to lighten the mood, and they toured Harry's music room, Ayala's living room, Wildman's play area for the children, and many other rooms contributed by crew members. "And everyone has a bedroom as well?" "Yes. And if they want to add a room for their own use, not part of the public area, that's fine. I just want this to be shared by as many people as possible." "You've done an incredible job, Tom. Better than I could have imagined." "Thanks, Chakotay. Ready to eat? I'm starved!" "Okay," the older man chuckled at his enthusiasm. The meal was, by mutual agreement, served in Jenny Delaney's informal dining area, and not the Captain's dining room. Tom had been relieved when Chakotay had suggested it first. After the meal was finished, Chakotay was commed. "Torres to Chakotay. I'm sorry to bother you off-duty, Commander, but there's a problem I need help with immediately. The transducer..." and Tom tuned out the rest of the conversation. He knew that B'Elanna wouldn't have called if it weren't important, but he still resented it a little. This time had been going so well... "Tom?" the inquiry was soft. "Yes, Chakotay?" "I have to go. I shouldn't be long, if you'd like to wait here?" "Yes, I would. I...need to recheck the play area. I'll see you when you get back?" "Of course," and Chakotay exited the holodeck. Tom waited a few moments and called up his private room. He would not share this with anyone but Chakotay. Maybe when the older man came back he could ask him...and Tom shook his head, deciding not to think about it yet. He couldn't force it. Tom's room was a part of Sandrine's. Literally and figuratively. It was a part of the real Sandrine's, and a part of the holoprogram as well, but one only he knew about. It was the room he'd actually spent most of his time in in the real Sandrine's. It was a smaller bar area, carpeted, no pool table, it had a piano and a dance floor. Tom had often played the piano there, and no one had cared who he was, only that he play "one more" of the old songs that he loved. He began to play, songs that he knew as well as he knew his own name, songs that he'd been played by his mother, his aunt, many of his lovers, even playing the song he and Julian, his first love, had considered theirs. Then he could stand it no longer, he had to play the song that he considered to be his and Chakotay's. I don't know what brought us here, Something in the stars said you and me, I don't know where this feeling comes from, Surely it was meant to be, For I have known you even in my dreams, My eyes are open, my heart can see. As sure as stars light the midnight sky, As sure as children wonder why, As sure as newborn babies cry, I was born to give my love to you, Born to give my love to you. Heaven must be holding on, To all the love I'm feeling now, Here we are this is the moment, I believe it's our turn somehow, Hearts together, hands across the night, One forever, finally in sight. As sure as stars light the midnight sky, As sure as children wonder why, As sure as newborn babies cry, I was born to give my love to you, Born to give my love to you. I was born to give my love to you, I was born to give my love to you, I was born to give my love to you, I was born to give my love to you. Slow applause came from the door of the room. Tom was unsurprised to see Chakotay. Obviously the problem had taken less time to fix than he'd thought. Well...now it was in the open. Before he could lose his nerve, Tom rose from the piano bench. He walked over to Chakotay, giving the man plenty of time to move if that's what he wanted to do, but Chakotay seemed glued to where he was standing. Tom took the older man's lips in a deep kiss. As Chakotay moaned, Tom began to explore his mouth with his tongue. The urgency gripped them, and Chakotay pulled Tom to his bedroom. Tom wondered why, but that moment of coherent thought was soon wiped out in the heat of Chakotay's kisses. Chakotay undressed Tom, slowly, licking each exposed area of skin. Tom had wanted to do the same for his lover, but he was incapable of standing. So Chakotay did an impromptu strip tease for him. Once he was naked, Chakotay joined Tom again on the bed, licking at the sensitive hollows of his collarbone, then moving down to explore the lightly furred chest, seeking and finding the small nubs of his nipples. Tom moaned, voiced a hoarse request for Chakotay to be inside him, and almost screamed when Chakotay took him into his mouth. A few sucks, some creative tongue action, and Chakotay began to prepare him. First one, then two, then three lubricant-coated fingers entered Tom, stretching him carefully. Tom made to turn onto his stomach, and was stopped, so he wordlessly put his legs over Chakotay's shoulders. Chakotay eased himself in, slowly, and Tom was moaning constantly. As Chakotay began to thrust in and out of Tom, he grasped Tom's swelling erection, to the accompaniment of a near-scream from his lover. After several more strokes, Tom yelled his release. The contractions around his hardness sent Chakotay over the edge with a roar, and after his body finished shaking, he collapsed next to Tom. Several hours later, Tom woke to feel a warmth beside him. "Computer, quarter lights," he whispered, then turned to look at his lover. So beautiful... "*You're* beautiful," a sleep-roughened voice said. "Did I say that out loud?" Chakotay nodded. "It's true, anyway. You are beautiful, Chakotay." "No regrets?" "None. I've wanted this for so long..." "Tom, I love you." With tears in his eyes, Tom replied, "I love you, too." "You know, if you'd told me a year ago that we'd be celebrating the completion of the holo-program *this* way, I'd have said you were nuts. I can't believe we did...that." "If you knew how long I've wanted you..." "Probably as long as I've wanted you. We wasted so much time..." "No, we didn't. It was right that it happened tonight, like this." "Yes, it was. So...I wonder if there's a book on us?" "I have it on good authority that there is, and one T.P. is going to be richer in rations after tomorrow." "You knew it would be tonight?" "No, I didn't ever expect it to happen. I picked tonight because it was a year since we started this project, and I had to pick a date." "Well, you couldn't have picked a better one," and the bigger man enfolded the smaller one in his arms, and they settled back to sleep. --- The End