The BLTS Archive- And I Love You So by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- Disclaimer: Everything Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom. Please do not distribute, archive, etc, without my permission. May be archived on the ASC archive, the PKSP archive and R'Rain's Slash Archive only. Please do not link to the story without my permission. Title and song lyrics from And I Love You So from Don McLean's Best Of CD. This story is a sequel to my story And The Darkness In My Soul. If you haven't read it, and can't find it in the archives or on my web page: http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/4859/Joanne.html, email me and I'll send you a copy. This story is told from Tom's POV. Dedicated to anne, for everything. --- Harry told me he loves me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I'd have to approach him really carefully, but he just...blurted it out. Well, okay, it didn't really happen like that, but that's sure what it felt like! I've been so damned confused the past couple of months, mourning James, realising that I wasn't wrong to have feelings for other people, realising that Chakotay is too much in love with Kathryn to ever consider me as more than a friend, and realising that I didn't really care for him the way I thought I did. I think we had some kind of spark between us, but it wasn't love. It might have been lust, and under other circumstances we might have had a passionate affair that burned itself out, but we weren't meant to be. Not in this place and time, anyway. And then there was Harry. Beautiful, sweet, loving, gentle Harry. Did I ever not love him in some way? I don't think so. I loved him as a friend, first, and I do still love him that way, but now, I love him in the way I only thought I'd ever love one person. He's not a substitute for James. That's the thing I think I was worried about, but if that had been the case, I think I would have started things long ago. It's funny, I think James would have liked Harry. How can I describe what I feel when I look at Harry? Passion, lust, love and friendship all wrapped up in one adorable package. That's what I was thinking when we were playing hoverball tonight. We've been playing on a semi-regular basis since that thing with the dream aliens. After all that sweating and jumping about, we seem more...open with each other. I'd actually considered broaching the subject with him tonight, but he beat me to it. by Joanne Collins (m7traxlady@yahoo.com) --- And I love you so... The people ask me how... How I lived till now... I tell them I don't know... I guess they understand... How lonely life has been... But life began again... The day you took my hand... --- He took my hand, and looked at me with that serious expression. The one that means that what he's about to say is important. And then he just said it. Short and to the point. That's Harry, though. Not one to waste time on unnecessary words. Gods, I feel like my life's begun again, like it was divided into two parts. The part that's over now, with James, and the part that's yet to come, with Harry. --- And yes I know how lonely life can be... The shadows follow me... And the night won't set me free... But I don't let the evening get me down... Now that you're around me... --- It was lonely for such a long time. Even before I got the message, I wasn't sure what I wanted. Whether I should hold out hope that we might get back to Earth soon, or whether I should explore the feelings I knew I had for Harry or Chakotay. And I could hardly ask Tuvok, who's in almost the same situation I was in, or Chakotay, for the obvious reason, for advice. So I tried to get through it myself. But of course that didn't work. I was half the problem, so how could I find the solution? That's when I used to go to you, Harry, to talk, to play pool, or sometimes just to be with someone so I wouldn't be alone. And maybe because I loved you even then, and I needed you with me, even though I couldn't bring myself to say anything. --- And you love me too... Your thoughts are just for me... You set my spirit free... I'm happy that you do... --- I don't think I ever really expected you to love me, Harry. You loving me has done something nothing else could have. You loving me has freed me to love you. --- The book of life is brief... And once a page is read... All but love is dead... That is my belief... --- James is now the past, though. That page of my life is over, and I've started a new one with you, Harry. Everything but my love for James, and now you, has been turned aside for the new family I've found here on Voyager. --- And yes I know how lovely life can be... The shadows follow me.. And the night won't set me free... But I don't let the evening bring me down... Now that you're around me... --- Gods, Harry, when you started kissing me in on the hoverball court! Luckily you had deleted the rest of the teams, I always hated performing for an audience. Then you started taking my clothes off. I wasn't too sure, but when you knelt in front of me and took me into your mouth, I wasn't really capable of protesting. Your hot, wet mouth on me...oh, gods, Harry, that was *the* most intense climax I've ever felt. And then, when I took you...oh, Harry, I love the way you taste. You're delicious, in more ways than one. --- And I love you so... The people ask me how... How I lived till now... I tell them I don't know... --- How did I survive till I loved you, Harry? I don't know. I do know that I love you in a way I could never have loved James, though. I look at you beside me, sleeping peacefully, and I'm debating whether to wake you or not. We *are* on duty in...three hours. I think I'll just lie here until I sleep again. I love you, Harry. --- The End