The BLTS Archive- American Pie by Joanne Collins (luchenbackoutlaw@gmail.com) --- This is my first attempt at slash and fanfic in general, with two of my three favourite Voyager men. Please post comments or email to the above addy. No flames about my taste in music please. Characters copyrighted by Paramount, used without permission. Story copyrighted March 1997 by Joanne Collins. Don McLean's song American Pie is also used without permission. I give my permission for this story to be posted to ASC and to be archived at the ASC archives. It may also be posted to BLTS. It is also to be posted at R'Rain's archive. Please don't distribute elsewhere except for personal archiving. Do feel free to share the story with friends, just keep my name and the headers on it. This story was inspired by the episode The Chute, and by a quote in the magazine Soap Opera Weekly about the song American Pie being about the loss of innocence. I felt that Harry lost some of his innocence in that episode, and I thought Tom would be the person to help him cope. The idea of Tom's playing the piano in Sandrine's was inspired by Brenda Antrim's Paris Nocturne, although the music is rather different! Angst? It's Post-Chute, isn't it? Mush? It's Tom and Harry isn't it? Spoilers (major and minor) for The Chute, Non Sequitur, Parturition, Caretaker, Ex Post Facto, Deadlock, Heroes and Demons, Investigations and Basics. Dedicated to Brenda Antrim, I'd never have considered reading, let alone writing, a slash story before reading her Mulder/Krycek stories, to R'Rain for her wonderful P/K stories and her archive, to all the wonderful fanfic and slash writers I've ever read, and to my best friend Debbie who talked me into watching Star Trek: TNG a few years ago, I'd never have begun watching Voyager if she hadn't. Comments warmly welcome. I do have an idea for a sequel if there is any interest, as well as some other unrelated"song stories. If anyone would like to suggest possible songs to use for stories, please email your suggestions. Don't be gender-specific, I have an idea involving Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back To Me Now in the works and a story based on a song by a female singer (Martina McBride) being posted at the same time as this one. --- Something touched me deep inside, The day the music died. Don McLean, American Pie --- "So Harry, what do you say we blow a week's worth of replicator rations? Tom's question echoed in Harry's head as he stood under his shower, having made the excuse that he wanted to change out of uniform before they embarked on the meal they had promised themselves as soon as they got out of that prison on Akritiria. The water was near boiling temperature, and Harry wished he could make it hotter, but the water was at the upper level of human tolerance, and although it would seem arctic to some species, Voyager's safety protocols wouldn't let it get hotter than he could stand. He soaped himself three times before he got out, trying to make himself clean, but he knew that the dirt was on his soul, and soap and water wouldn't reach it. Sighing in frustration, Harry pushed those thoughts away, and turned off the shower. As he stepped into his cabin, he reflected again how much he'd changed since the first time he'd seen it. He thought about those first days on Voyager, when he felt like all his Academy training had deserted him, especially (he blushed) that fiasco with the Ferengi in the bar on DS9. He'd never have gotten out of that situation if it hadn't been for Tom. The thought of Tom reminded him that he had somewhere to be, and he hastily pulled on a pair of black pants, a blue denim shirt and shoes and headed out of his quarters towards the turbolift. He arrived at the holodeck a few minutes later, and the doors opened. He was not surprised that Sandrine's was running, it was Tom's favourite program, but he knew that the rest of the crew would leave them alone tonight, the Captain had promised them privacy. "Hey, Harry, I was wondering what was keeping you, Tom smiled at him. "Uh, I took a shower, Tom, and I took a bit longer than I thought. Tom looked at him in concern, he'd never known Harry to be so much as a moment late whether for work or pleasure as long as he'd known him. "Come on, Tom, what are we going to eat? Harry asked, not wanting to deal with Tom's concern for him at the moment. "Harry, Harry, Harry. We're blowing our rations, so the answer to that is anything and everything! Steak, chicken, salad, veggies, and for dessert, cherry pie and fudge ripple pudding. Tom walked over to the holodeck replicator and began ordering. Harry joined him and made a few selections himself, even though Tom's sounded pretty good to him. They were standing very close together, and Harry looked at Tom's hair, remembering when he'd brushed it back to see the clamp, and later, on Neelix's ship, he'd brushed it back from Tom's feverish forehead. It had felt so soft... "Harry? Tom's voice was amused,"Did you hear me? "I'm sorry, Tom, no. What did you say? "I just wondered what you wanted to drink. I'm having a beer, of course. "I'll have that too. "Fine, Harry. Two beers, Sandrine. "Oui, mon petit Thomas, replied the holographic bar owner. There was near total silence in the holodeck for almost an hour as the two men ate and drank as many of the foods and drink that the mere thought of had helped them cope in the prison as they could, but Harry knew it was only a matter of time before he and Tom would have to have a serious discussion about the events of the past few days. He decided that now was probably the best chance they'd have. "Tom, we need to talk. "Yeah. Do you want to go first? "Not really, but I did bring it up. "Harry, even these past few days haven't erased your sweetness. I'll go first. "If you're sure... "I'd never have gotten through that without you, Harry. I always thought if I were ever in prison again that I'd never survive it, but after that place, I'd spend the rest of my life in New Zealand rather than in a place like that. If you hadn't helped me, especially after I was stabbed I wouldn't have survived. I'll never forget you saying 'this man is my friend, no one touches him'. I knew when you said that that it was going to be all right. "But Tom, I nearly killed you! "No you didn't Harry. That clamp nearly did, but that wasn't you. "Yes it was. I never thought I'd even consider killing anyone, let alone my best friend! It hit Tom suddenly, this wasn't just about the past few days. Harry was coping with something else, and as his best friend, Tom wanted to help him. "Harry, what is it, it's more than just the whole prison thing, isn't it? It just really brought it home to me for the first time in a long time that we really are a long way from home. I haven't felt like this since the time I was caught up in the alternate reality. Both men were silent, thinking of how their lives had been so different in that reality. Harry had been living in San Francisco with his fiancee, and Tom had been a down and out drunk. But the alternate Tom had seen something in Harry, and had helped him out, which had led to his death. Harry still remembered the feeling of relief when he had gotten back to Voyager and had asked if Tom was there. "I owe you one, he had said to a puzzled Tom, as he'd had to wait until they were both off duty to tell him about it. "You know, I always considered that debt to be repayment for the help you gave me with the Baneans, Harry. One thing you can say about life in the Delta Quadrant, it certainly isn't dull! "Right now, Tom, I'd settle for about six months of dull! "Me, too. Especially after all that stuff with Seska. "You mean when she and Culluh took the ship? "That, and the time before, when I went undercover to expose the spy. Harry remembered the day he thought Tom had left the ship forever, and the hug he'd given him in farewell. He felt an odd warmth as he remembered the feeling of Tom's well-built body in his arms. Tom was speaking again. "Of course, between those was the time you died, again. Harry almost smiled at that, it sounded faintly ridiculous if you didn't know the story behind it. "Actually, that time it was both of us, just from different realities. "Very true, Harry. I remember how I felt when you died, though. I wondered why I'd never had a chance to really tell you how I felt about you. I promised myself that I would when we got out of that prison. "What do you mean, Tom? Tom gathered up all his courage, and said,"I love you, Harry. "I love you too, Tom, you're my best friend. "No, Harry, that's not what I meant. I'm in love with you. "Tom, how could you be? I'm the person who nearly killed you! I'll never be the same because of that. "The day the music died... Tom trailed off. "What? "You've lost a part of your innocence, Harry, it's like a part of you has died. The words come from an old twentieth-century song. "But you couldn't be in love with me, Tom. You fall in love with pure, unattainable people, like Kes. "Kes is a good friend, but I always knew I was only trying to move my feelings away from you. "How long have you felt this way, Tom? "Harry, I've loved you almost since I met you, but I fell in love with you when you were so sure I was innocent in the situation with the Baneans. I didn't realise it then, though. "When did you realise it, Tom? "When you were lost, in that energy grid that infiltrated the holodeck. I knew then that I loved you and I'd do anything to get you back. I couldn't say anything then, though. I'm not sure I should have now, but I knew I had to. "Why didn't you want to say anything to me - oh, I see, it's because I- " "No, Harry. I didn't want to say anything because I know you want to stay faithful to Libby. "Oh. "Yeah. "Tom, I decided, after my experience in the other reality, the one with Libby, he added, thinking that a little clarification was in order, that if we were considered dead in that reality, we would be in this one, too. I decided that I was going to let go on my side, if I could find someone out here, then I'd be with them, and hope that Libby finds someone back home. Of course, that was before I nearly killed you, I don't think anyone would want to look at me after that. "Oh, Harry, I don't remember you nearly killing me, I remember you protecting me. But it's not enough, is it? I might have known that, just like everything, I've fucked this up too. "Tom, I wish you'd told me before. Maybe if you'd told the me I was then, I'd be able to feel about you the way you feel about me. I'm sorry, but I need to be alone. "All right, Harry. I just had to tell you. "I just wish it had been earlier, Tom. Harry left the holodeck with a heavy heart. He began to analyse the situation as best he could. Tom was in love with him, but how did he feel about Tom? He stopped short in the hallway, as he realised that he'd never even given a thought to his own feelings. He knew Tom loved him, but he thought that Tom would not be able to get past his trying to kill him. That was all very well, but how did he, Harry, actually feel about Tom? He knew, as he'd said earlier that he loved Tom as a friend, but could it be more? Harry had never thought about being with another man, mainly because he'd never considered being with anyone other than Libby, but he wasn't prejudiced, in fact one of his cousins was married to another man, and he had been very close to both of them. He thought again of how soft Tom's hair had felt when he'd touched it, and how his body had felt when he'd hugged him. "Gods, thought Harry,"I do love him. I just never realised it before. What am I going to do about it? He thought for a moment of the time he'd nearly killed Tom, then he thought,"I promised myself I'd never do anything to hurt him again, and I know it would hurt him if I didn't tell him right now. And with that thought, Harry turned back down the deserted hall, heading back towards the holodeck. As he entered the program, he noticed that the doors were closed, which struck him as unusual, they were usually kept open. He pushed one and it opened easily, and he realised that there was music coming from the bar. "Harry, you have returned, p'tit. Perhaps you can cheer Thomas up, after he plays for us a little longer, said Sandrine. Harry looked over to a usually empty corner of the bar, and realised that the music he'd heard earlier had come from a piano, and that Tom was playing. "Harry, you came back, Tom's smile was dazzling."Now I get to play for you after all those clarinet recitals you've given for me, and he finished the piece he was playing, Harry thought it was Bach, and began playing a new tune Harry didn't recognise. Harry started when Tom began to sing. --- Long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile, And I knew if I had my chance that I could make those people dance, And maybe they'd be happy for a while. But February made me shiver, with every paper I'd deliver, Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step, I can't remember if I cried, when I read about his widowed bride, But something touched me deep inside, the day the music died. So bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye, Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die. Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in God above, if the bible tells you so, Do you believe in rock and roll, can music save your mortal soul, and can you teach me how to dance real slow? Well I know that you're in love with him, cause I saw you dancing in the gym, You both kicked off your shoes, man I dig those rhythm and blues, I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck, with a pink carnation and a pickup truck But I knew I was out of luck, the day the music died. I started singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die. Now for ten years we've been on our own, and moss grows fat on a rollin' stone, But that's not how it used to be, when the jester sang for the king and queen, In a coat he borrowed from James Dean and a voice that came from you and me. Oh and while the king was looking down, the jester stole his thorny crown, The courtroom was adjourned, no verdict was returned, And while Lenin read a book on Marx, the quartet practiced in the park, And we sang dirges in the dark, the day the music died. We were singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die Helter skelter in a summer swelter, the birds flew off with a fallout shelter, Eight miles high and fallin' fast, it landed hard on the grass, The players tried for a forward pass, with the jester on the sidelines in a cast, Now the half-time air was sweet perfume, while the sergeants played a marching tune, We all got up to dance, oh, but we never got the chance, Cause the players tried to take the field, the marching band refused to yield, Do you recall what was revealed, the day the music died? We started singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die Oh, and there we were all in one place, a generation lost in space, With no time left to start again, so come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack Flash sat on a candlestick, cause fire is the devil's only friend, Oh and as I watched him on the stage, my hands were clenched in fists of rage, No angel born in hell, could break that Satan's spell, And as the flames climbed high into the night, to light the sacrificial rite, I saw Satan laughing with delight, the day the music died, He was singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die. I met a girl who sang the blues, and I asked her for some happy news, But she just smiled and turned away, I went down to the sacred store, where I'd heard the music years before, But the man there said the music wouldn't play, And in the street the children screamed, the lovers cried and the poets dreamed, Not a word was spoken, the church bells all were broken, And the three men I admire most, the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost, They caught the last train for the coast, the day the music died, And they were singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die. They were singin' Bye bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die. --- "Oh, Tom, that's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. It's the one you mentioned earlier, isn't it? "Harry, thank you, but I don't really care about that song right now. Why did you come back? "I started thinking about what you said to me, Tom. I promised myself that I'd never hurt you, so I came back to tell you how I feel. "And how do you feel Harry? Tom's voice was pure hope. "I love you, Tom. I can't believe it took me this long to realise it. Tom stood up and reached for Harry in one move. Harry had no time to think before Tom leaned over and gently kissed him. Tom's lips were warm and soft, gentle and inistent, and Harry met the kiss with enthusiasm. "Wow, Harry. If you knew how many times I've fantasised about kissing you... "So did the reality compare to the fantasy? "You know what? It was better. Harry looked so delightfully pleased, Tom had to laugh, and Harry smiled too. Then Harry gasped in surprise as Tom started to undo the buttons on his shirt. "Tom? Tom paused in his task and looked at Harry, noticing the apprehension in his eyes. "What, Harry? "I-I've never been with another man before, Tom, and only one other woman aside from Libby. "Would you be more comfortable somewhere else, other than Sandrine's? "Yes, I think so. Tom thought for a moment, then issued a command. "Computer, discontinue program Sandrine's and run program Paris Delta Nine. "Complying, came the mechanical tones of the computer. The holodeck shimmered as Sandrine's disappeared, and a comfortably furnished room replaced it. Harry realised that they were facing a fireplace, and he turned around to look at the rest of the room. There was a couch and a few chairs facing the fireplace, and a little further away was an enormous, antique four-poster bed. "Wow. Where is this, Tom? "It's my favourite hotel room on Risa. "Oh, my. I think I understand why that planet is so popular. "You like it, Harry? I'll give you a copy if you like. "Yes, I like it, but no thanks to the copy, Tom. I'd like to think that if I see this room again, it'll be with you. Tom's eyes blazed with need and love, and with a needful groan, he pulled Harry towards him. Harry was less inhibited now they were away from Sandrine's, and a part of his mind admitted that he hadn't wanted to be at Sandrine's because it was a place the whole ship knew about, while this was a private place, one where he and Tom could create their own memories. Then his thoughts stopped as Tom began to lick his neck. "Oh, yes, Harry moaned, as Tom's tongue explored his golden skin. While Tom's tongue was exploring Harry's neck, his hands continued to unbutton his shirt, then slipped inside to caress his smooth chest. Harry jumped in surprise as Tom's fingers found a nipple, teasing it into a point, then he slipped Harry's shirt off his shoulders, and bent his head to lick and suck at Harry's nipple. "Gods, *yes*, Harry screamed. "Like that? Tom asked, teasingly. "What do you think-ohhh, he moaned as Tom started on his other nipple. Although Tom's mouth was doing amazing things to his nervous system, Harry reached out to caress Tom's hair, and was surprised when Tom gently pushed his hands back. "What- Harry began. "Harry, the first time is just for you, okay? Harry felt a rush of love and tenderness for Tom, and willingly complied. He thought dazedly that he wasn't really capable of much more, as Tom continued his sensual assault of him. As Tom continued to suckle at his chest, one hand moved further down his body, closing around his erection. He couldn't hold back another scream as Tom's hand started moving up and down his heated length, then reached to undo the fastenings of his pants, pulling his pants and underwear off in one swift movement, taking his shoes with them. Tom stood back for a moment, just looking at Harry, naked and aroused in front of him, and then he quickly removed his own clothes. Harry returned Tom's appraisal for a moment, noticing the curls of red-gold hair on his chest, and the patch further down, framing Tom's own erection. 'Oh, my,' Harry thought. "You're beautiful, Tom, he said aloud. Tom blushed red to his nipples, his fair skin turning even more red, and said, So are you, Harry, and he claimed Harry's mouth again. Harry wasn't surprised this time when Tom began moving down his body, kissing his neck for long, sensual moments, returning to his nipples, then moving down, over his taut stomach muscles, teasingly dipping into his navel, passing his groin to his surprise, then licking his thighs until Harry was nearly screaming in need. Only then did he move up slightly, settling himself on a cushion for his knees, and take Harry's erection into his mouth. Harry gasped as the warm wetness engulfed him, he'd never done this before, either, and moaned as Tom started working his tongue up and down his length, reaching to cup his balls with his other hand, stroking them sensually with his fingers, causing Harry to revel in the sensations he was causing. Then Tom's hand moved from his balls, causing Harry to let out a moan of frustration at the ceasing of that exciting caress, then a gasp as Tom's hand moved to caress his taut buttocks. Tom moved his hand to caress the crack, then the puckered opening. He started to slowly and carefully move a finger into Harry, and found his prostate. At the first touch, Harry screamed and came into Tom's mouth, long, long spurts that seemed to go on forever. When his climax ended, Tom pulled Harry gently over to the bed, where Harry collapsed, exhausted. After a moment of rest, he looked over at Tom. "Thank you, he whispered, "thank you for still being able to love me, after- Tom silenced him with a kiss. "Harry, he said as he pulled back," Please don't mention that again while we're in bed. If you must mention it out of bed, I'll talk about it, but if you ever mention it when we're in bed again, I'll get out and go and talk to B'Elanna. "So, you think there'll be other times we're in bed, then? "Well, I hope so, Harry. This isn't just a one night thing for me, is it for you? I want a relationship with you, Harry. "That's what I want, too. I just - I don't know how these things work. "Pretty much the same as a relationship with a woman, we commit to being with each other, maybe consider living together further down the track, have great sex, what more do you want? "Sounds pretty good to me. Let me think a bit on the living together part, though. I am committed to you, Tom, we wouldn't have had great sex if I wasn't. Now, I think you're poking me, Harry smiled as he felt Tom's erection against his hip."What do you want, Tom? "I'd like to be inside you, Harry. Would you let me? "Does it hurt? "Gods, no, Harry, not if I get you ready for me first, which I will do. I'm never going to hurt you in that way. Harry knew from Tom's tone of voice that he had been hurt that way, and reached up to kiss him again. "All right, Tom. I know you'd never hurt me. Tom smiled and said,"Good. Then he got up and moved over to the holodeck replicator, requesting a tube of lubricant. Tom moved back to the bed and lay down beside Harry again. Harry moved to turn over, and Tom stopped him."No, Harry, I want you to face me. "But Tom, how does it work like that? "Trust me, Harry, it will, and Tom was kissing him again. Harry just decided to give himself up to Tom, and responded eagerly. Tom squeezed out some lubricant onto his fingers, and moved down to Harry's opening, and gently began working a finger into Harry, his path made easier this time by the lubricant. Once he had one finger all the way in, he started to gently add a second, and Harry was mildly surprised to realise he was getting hard again. He gasped as Tom added a third finger, moving slowly and sensually inside him. He began a low, needful moaning as Tom's fingers began moving in and out in a practised motion. "Do you like this, Harry? "Gods, yes, Tom. Tom grinned wickedly,"It's about to get better, Harry, and with that he removed his fingers. Harry moaned in frustration, then gasped as he saw Tom smoothing lubricant over his straining erection. Tom moved over him, and placed his hard cock at Harry's loosened opening, then moved forward in one swift, gentle motion, plunging in as far as he could. Harry screamed, but not in pain, as Tom began a gentle thrusting, not too fast, allowing him to get used to the sensations. Harry was going to go crazy from the gentle movements, he wished Tom would speed up a bit. Then the rational part of his mind thought, 'He won't unless I ask him to.' "Tom, Harry groaned. "Uh, gods, yeah, Harry? Tom was nearly incoherent, too. "Please, fuck me harder. "Are you sure? "Please, Tom. I want you to. Tom wouldn't deny Harry anything he wanted, especially if it was what Tom wanted too, so he increased his pace slightly, causing more gasps and aroused moans. Tom reached down to pump Harry's erection in time with his thrusts, and Harry came after a few moments of this, all over his and Tom's chests, then the contractions of his muscles milked Tom's cock dry and Tom came, calling Harry's name, and ending with"I love you. Then Tom collapsed onto Harry's chest and blacked out. "Tom? "Yeah? "Thank the gods, you scared five years off me. "Guess it was just too intense. I haven't blacked out like that since - well, a long time ago. "Tom, that was - incredible. I had no idea. "I'm glad, Harry. I wanted to make your first time special. "Just being with you made it special, Tom. "I love you, Harry. That's what made it special, for both of us. "I love you, too. What happens now? "Now? I don't know about you, but I need to sleep. Unless you have something else in mind? "Gods, not just yet, Tom. No, I meant with us. "Didn't we have this conversation already? Yeah, I mean, is this a relationship, are we lovers, do we tell people, do we keep it to ourselves? "Yes this is a relationship, we are lovers, and yes, we do tell people. "I wonder how B'Elanna's going to react? "Not to mention the Captain and Chakotay! "How about the Delaney sisters? "Or Tuvok! "Neelix and Kes? "Harry, let's think about all this tomorrow, I'm too tired to speculate on this. Let's take a shower, and sleep. "Sounds good to me. Half an hour later, the two men were back in the bed, holding each other, kissing gently. "Are you sure we can stay here, Tom? "Yes, the Captain said the holodeck was ours until morning. I think she realised we needed to be somewhere to recover from the last few days. "I wonder if she suspects? "One thing I have learned about our Captain, Harry, is that she knows a lot more than we think she does. Harry laughed, and yawned. "Come on, Harry, we've got to be on duty in, Tom looked at his chronometer,"Six hours. Time to sleep. Harry reached up and kissed him again. "Goodnight, Tom. "Goodnight, Harry. And the two friends fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing that they were safe and loved. They had a lot to get through, but they would face the bad times together, and the good times would be more wonderful because they would have each other. --- The End