The BLTS Archive - Restoration
by csiAngel (jac@gotchemistry.com)

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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek's characters or premise, I'm just
borrowing these people for a little while.

A/N: This fic has been writing itself in my head, in various forms,
for what must be nearly a year now. Tonight, I finally decided to
write it down.

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"You've been avoiding me."

The accusatory statement took him by surprise, and Jean-Luc whipped
round to face the direction the voice had come from.

Beverly was seated at his dinner table, elbow rested on the surface,
head rested on her hand.

He didn't need to ask her how she had gained access to his quarters;
it was a skill she had developed for his last birthday in order to
surprise him with breakfast. He had never felt it necessary to put an
end to her freedom. And even now, though he wasn't ready for this
conversation, he didn't begrudge her unlimited access to his space. To
his life. Of course, therein lay the problem.

"I – "

"Please don't lie to me," she interrupted him, her eyes wide and
almost pleading with him, her hands now clasped on her lap.

He frowned slightly at the appearance of what looked like fear in her
eyes. "I wasn't going to," he told her and it was an honest answer –
he had intended to make a joke about how he wasn't doing a very good
job of it, surprising himself with how easily he had lost a lot of the
anger he had been carrying within him.

"I thought we were okay," she told him, standing from her chair, but
perching nervously on the edge of the table, as if unsure whether to
approach him.

"We are," he shrugged.

Her eyebrows rose. "So you've actually been avoiding me for the last
six years and I just never realised?"

She appeared to try a small smile after her words, but it wasn't
successful, and he cursed his heart for its easy transition from
feeling betrayed by her, to feeling like he should take her in his
arms and apologise for hurting her.

He laughed to himself once and turned away from her. "I just can't
stay angry with you."

"Did you want to stay angry with me?" she asked him, and he heard her
stand.

"Yes," he answered immediately, without considering his response.

Her small intake of breath brought home to him what he had said, and
he turned to face her again, only to find she had turned her back on
him.

"Beverly... " he urged, taking a step closer to her.

She stepped away. "I just need a moment."

After seconds of silence, she faced him once more, and her eyes caught
his.

"Do I get to know exactly what it was that made you angry?" she
enquired. "And do I get a chance to fix it?"

"Beverly, you don't need to fix it...  I just overreacted. I do
understand why you said, what you said – "

"But?"

He stopped when she interrupted him, and released his breath on a sigh
instead of words.

"But... " he hesitated, unsure as to how much damage his answer would
do to their friendship.

"Please, Jean-Luc?" she implored, taking a step closer. "I think we've
hidden things from each other for long enough, don't you?"

She had left herself no easy route out of this. If he told her, she'd
be hurt. If he didn't tell her, she'd be hurt. That it was her own
doing gave him no comfort at all though.

"But," he repeated, "It hurt when you urged me to tell you how I
feel...  when you had no intention of us pursuing a relationship."

Her eyes twitching wider indicated that she had not considered her
actions could be interpreted in such a manner. "Oh, Jean-Luc, I'm
sorry, I never – "

He held up a hand to stop her. "Like I say, I overreacted...  Avoiding
you was immature, I just... " But for all he hated what he was putting
her through, he found he still needed answers. "Why did you push for
me to tell you?"

If she was thrown off balance by his sudden turnaround she didn't show
it. "I wanted to know," she responded, quietly. "I knew we couldn't
act on them, but I just wanted that feeling of knowing your feelings
were the same as mine...  I don't expect it to be any consolation, but
it hurt me as well - to push you away...  Then when you started
avoiding me... " She trailed off, a sad smile creeping across her lips
as she took a tentative step towards him. "Have you ever experienced
the realisation that you made a big mistake?" she asked, her voice
barely above a whisper.

"The minute I saw you in here, and realised I'd missed you," he
whispered back, closing the space between them, but still hesitant to
touch her.

"So...  What do we do now?" she asked, echoing his words from their
last non-work related conversation.

"What do you mean?" he teased, unable to stop a smirk from curving his
lips.

They both laughed; Beverly glancing away almost shyly.

He gently enclosed her left hand in his right, and she returned her
gaze to his. "I think," he said softly, "We should face our fears
together, and see what happens."

Her eyes sparkled and she nodded once. "I agree," she whispered.

He smiled now, and encouraged her towards him with a gentle tug on the
hand he held.

He met her halfway, his lips finding hers, and her body moulded into
his as their arms sealed their embrace.

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The End