The BLTS Archive - Realisation
Third in the Awakening series
by Beverly Crusher (bev_crusher1971@yahoo.de)

---

Comments: Feedback. please, please, please. that's what truly makes my
day and gives me hope, that there is someone out there, who enjoys
reading as much as I do enjoy writing.

Beta reader(s): My lovely Mareel, thanks, thanks, thanks

Archived to the Web site on 07/31/2003.  Archived at EntSTCommunity
with the author's express permission.  

---

"Guide me, love."

A hot whisper in his ear.

Jon panted and tried to relax. He felt his lover buried deep within
him. For the first time. Never before had he loved someone so much,
had he opened himself so completely, as to allow this.

And it felt oh, so good, yet he was afraid to move. He saw Malcolm's
face, hovering above him, and was captured by the desire he saw in his
lovers features. Suddenly Malcolm opened his eyes and stared at him.
Dark, blue - grey orbs, unreadable and mystic. It seemed to Jon, that
Malcolm was staring directly into his soul, claiming him to his heart,
forever.

"Guide me, love. You set the rhythm. Show me, what you want. Let me
make love to you."

Jon felt a shiver running down his spine, when he heard these words,
whispered in that irresistible accent of his lover.

Hesitantly he pushed his hips forward, and was rewarded with a deep
moan from the English man. He felt his lover draw back slightly, and
then push back against him.

Jon let his head fall back and gasped in pleasure.

Never, ever did he think, that it could be so good, so powerful and so
overwhelmingly perfect.

Slowly they found their rhythm. Old as ages, new with every time, they
made love.

"Oh god, Malcolm. Please...."

Jon didn't know, what he was pleading for. But Malcolm understood. His
movements grew faster. He adjusted Jon's long legs a bit, so he could
thrust deeper.

Jon's skin began to glisten with sweat. His hands gripped Malcolm's
hips, urging him to move faster and faster. A tension was building up
in him.

Just as he thought, he couldn't stand it any longer, he felt Malcolm's
hand close around his shaft.

And that was it.

It threw him over the edge. He felt like he was falling, endlessly,
only dimly aware, that he was shouting his lovers name. He came with
long, warm spurts in the hand of his lover and felt Malcolm collapsing
on top of him, just seconds later.

Malcolm rested his head against Jon's and breathed a kiss on his lips.

"Are you alright, love?"

Jon nodded lazily and closed his arms around his beloved armory
officer.


"More than alright. And you?"

Malcolm sighed theatrically.

"Ill never leave you, love. Because I believe, we are stuck together
in this mess for eternity."

With these words he lifted himself up on his hands. With a loud,
smacking sound their bodies separated.

Jon looked down at himself and laughed out loud. Malcolm was right.
Jon's semen, combined with the sweat of both men, practically glued
them together. He drew Malcolm close again and gave him a loving kiss.

"How about a shower, Lt. Reed?"

"Sounds wonderful, Captain."

Smiling Malcolm withdrew from his lover. With a sharp intake of breath
Jon closed his eyes at the sudden loss. Malcolm rolled to one side and
watched him, his smile fading.

"Oh my god, did I hurt you? Please,... I hope, not. I ... I was too
rough, want I? I ...ah...I should have been more careful. I
harumph..."

Jon shut him up in the most effective way. He kissed him thoroughly.
Then he took Malcolm's face in his hands and looked him deep into his
storm-grey eyes.

"No...no...and no. You didn't hurt me, (kiss), you weren't too rough
(kiss), and you couldn't have been more careful. (kiss) You were
amazing. And I love you. Period. And now lets head for the shower."

He carefully got up, pulling Malcolm with him. Much relieved, the
English man followed.

---

It was 0400 in the morning.

Trip was early. He knew that. But sometimes, when he had trouble
sleeping, he loved taking a short walk to engineering. Just to make
sure, everything was running the way it should.

He was just about to turn the corner to Jon's quarters, when he heard
the unmistakable sound of Lt. Reeds voice and stopped in his tracks.
But before he could wonder, why Malcolm would be there, in the middle
of the night, he heard the next words.

"I hate to go, too. But you know, we have to be careful. I don't want
to be Hoshi's `rumour of the week."

Silence.

"Oh Jon, please. Don't look at me that way. You just make it harder for
me."

Trip heard a soft sighing, the sound of a kiss, and then Jon's voice,
filled with emotion. He never had heard his friend like that before.

"I'm sorry. I just wish, you could stay for at least one more hour.
Half an hour? Fifteen minutes?"

Malcolm gave a little laugh. A very tender, very special laugh.

"You look like Porthos, begging for some cheese, love."

`Love? Trip felt his jaw drop and he moved a little closer. He
carefully glanced around the corner and his eyes grew wide with
surprise.

Jon and Malcolm were standing in the doorway to Jon's quarters. They
were holding each other, eyes closed, tenderly caressing one another's
backs.

Then Malcolm pulled back and gave Jon another little peck on the nose.

"You win! But only until you fall asleep. Okay?"

Jon's face lit up in the most beautiful smile, Trip had ever seen. Then
he drew Malcolm back into his quarters and the door hissed closed
behind them.

Trip pinched himself, to make sure, he want dreaming.

"Ouch!" he mumbled quietly.

So it was real. He had just, involuntary of course, witnessed a very
private scene between Malcolm and the captain.

An impish grin spread across his face. He was going to have breakfast
with his captain in the morning at 0730 hours. And it seemed, as
though it would be a lot of fun. With a little whistle, he went on,
down to engineering.

---

Jon awoke at 0630 hours, just like he did every day. Without opening
his eyes, he stretched out a hand, searching for Malcolm, just like
every day. And just like every day, he woke up alone.

With a deep sigh he opened his eyes. And then the memories of last
night came back to him.

The first time.

They had real sex, for the first time.

He snuggled deeper into his pillow, smiling, lingering in his
emotions.

He was still amazed at how self-evident it had seemed to him to say
`yes, when Malcolm, almost shyly, had asked him about it. Malcolm had
been the best teacher, he could have wished for. Gently, caring and
loving Malcolm had prepared him carefully, before he had entered him.

God, he had felt so...filled. So complete. It had seemed the most
natural act in the universe. And never before had he felt so loved.

He glanced at the time...0648 hours. If he didn't get up now, he would
be late for his breakfast with Trip.

He swung his legs around and headed for the bathroom, still walking a
little carefully.

---

"Mornin', Capn."

Trip sounded cheerfully, when he entered Jon's Dining Room.

Jon stood with his back to the door, next to the coffee-machine and
took two big cups from the shelf. He turned half around.

"Good morning, Trip. Did you sleep well last night?"

Okay, time to start the show, Trip thought to himself. He answered in
a casual tone.

"Oh, well, ya know, no, not really. I woke up very early an took a
little walk to engineering."

Jon felt his heart skip a beat. His quarters lay directly between
Trips quarters and engineering. What if...?

No.

Trip would have made himself heard, wouldn't he? WOULDN'T HE? Sure he
would.

"hem...when was that, did you say?"

Trip saw the flush that was creeping up Jon's face. Inwardly he laughed
out loud, but he managed to keep his poker face.

"About 0400 I guess. Why?"

"Ah...nothing. Did you see anybody...I mean...on your way...or..."

Jon's voice trailed off and his cheeks flushed a little more.

`Gotcha! But I ain't gonna let you off the hook so fast. First you have
to tell me everythin' all by yourself, Trip thought as his smile
widened.

"No. Should I have?"

Jon came to the table, holding two mugs with hot coffee. He gave one
to Trip and sat down on the opposite chair. With an amused sparkle in
his eyes, Trip noticed that Jon was sitting down carefully. Too
carefully.

"Say, Jon...did you hurt yourself yesterday?"

"No! No, why are you asking?"

Now Jon want able to hold his gaze any longer. He hung his head and
seemed terribly intent on his scrambled eggs. His hands were shaking a
bit and his face was glowing a deep red.

Trip decided to let the cat out of the bag. His friend seemed to be
deeply in love with the armory officer. And why not? Malcolm was
clever, intelligent and in every way a really loveable person, even if
he could be the most exasperating person to work with some days.

"Jon. How long have we known each other?"

Jon leaned back and looked at his friend, surprised by the sudden
change of topic.

"About nine or ten years. Why?"

"Was there ever anything you had to hide from me? Thinking, I probably
wouldn't understand it? Or that I would disagree with a choice you
made?"

Jon's eyes narrowed slightly. Trip knew that look. His friend was
becoming suspicious.

"Trip, what are you talking about? I must admit, I cant follow you at
the moment."

Trip was cursing inwardly. Damn, Jon didn't give away anything. He
didn't intend to compromise his captain. He wanted him to say it. To
admit his feelings. Not to sneak around. He had to try another tactic.

"Do you remember Nathalie?"

Now Jon was utterly confused.

"Sure. What about her? News from home you want me to know about?"

"No, not exactly. Do you remember how I first met her? How I first
kissed her? I told you everything about it. `Cause you're my friend. My
best friend, I may say. Didn't you do the same, when you'd fall for
someone? Tell your friend all about it? When did that stop?"

All of a sudden Jon turned pale, as realisation hit him.

"You know about it!"

It want a question, but an ascertainment.

Trip nodded. Then he leaned forward, looking Jon straight in the eyes.

"How long did you intend to keep it to yourself? Why didn't you let me
in? Hell, Jon, I'm your friend!"

Jon hung his head again.

"I guess I was afraid."

"Afraid? Of me? Why?"

Now it was Jon's turn to raise his head and stare at Trip.

"Because I'm in love with a MAN!"

"So what?"

Trip jumped up and began pacing the room.

"Did you really think that would make a difference to me? Hell, Jon!
I've been in love with men, too. And you knew about every single one of
`em!"

"But Malcolm is under my command. I don't want people to think he got
the job because he's sleeping with me."

Trip sat down.

"But they would never do that! By the way...no one would have ever
guessed I got the job because were friends. Malcolm is the best damn
armory officer the Enterprise could have. He got the job `cause he's
the best."

He grabbed his coffee and emptied the mug in one gulp.

"How long has been goin' on, anyway? I mean...since you're a couple."

Jon absentmindedly played with his cup,.

"It happened after the incident on the shuttle. Where the two of you
nearly froze to death. So its about five month and two weeks. Suddenly
I noticed, how easily I could lose him, without him ever knowing how I
felt. So I told him. And, wonder above wonder, he felt the same. I
still don't know what he sees in me. To me its a miracle."

Trip smiled at him.

"Not to me. He sees a man who is used to being in command. A man who
is convinced that he's goin'' the right way, but isn't afraid to ask for
help, if necessary. A man who is able to take care of over eighty men
and women. A man who can be like steel to his enemies and five minutes
later he melts away when a little dog looks at him. A man who is above
all, worthy of being loved."

Trip paused a moment to let his works sink in.

"Do you love him?"

Jon nodded.

"Does he love you?"

Another nod.

"You're happy? He's happy? So, since were all happy about it, what's the
damned problem?"

Suddenly Jon felt incredibly relieved. He looked at Trip, and burst
out in laughter.

"I don't know. I didn't know there WAS a problem. Oh Trip. Thank you.
You don't know what it means to me, to have at least one
co-conspirator. But, I don't want the crew to know about it yet, okay?"

"You have my word. So, is there anything left of Chefs famous eggs
Benedict?"

---

"Are you comfortable about it?"

Malcolm and Jon lay together, gently caressing each other. Malcolm
kissed Jon tenderly, while thinking about it.

"I'm glad it was Trip who caught us. Not Hoshi or Travis. Before
breakfast it would have been spread around the ship. Good news travels
fast, as they say."

Jon pulled Malcolm a little closer.

"Right, my love. Can we turn our thoughts to something else now? Like
making love?"

Malcolm pulled himself up on one elbow and smiled at him.

"So...you liked last night?"

Jon shivered in delight as Malcolm draw lazy circles with one finger
on his chest, slowly moving his hand deeper.

"Oh yes. `Liked doesn't even begin to cover it. It was ... YOU were
amazing."

"You did a pretty good job yourself, love. Want to repeat it?"

Jon's eyes grew dark. Malcolm watched in fascination as the shining
green turned suddenly to a dark grey. He slipped his hand down and
closed his fingers around Jon's hardening penis.

"Ill take that as a yes."

Malcolm kissed his way down, until he reached the place where seconds
earlier, his hand had begun to do magic to Jon. Tenderly he kissed the
top of the shaft, now fully erect and then gently nibbled his way down
to the base.

Jon's breathing grew heavy.

Malcolm opened his mouth and took him deep inside, swirling his tongue
around the soft skin. Then he withdrew a bit and scratched the
underside softly with his teeth. He heard Jon's sharp intake of breath
and smiled around his lovers cock. He slowly began to set a rhythm,
gently humming. Jon's body began to tremble. Malcolm reached down with
one hand and searched for something under the bed. He gave a little
sound of triumph as he found the lube that he had placed there. Just
within his reach!

Without letting go of Jon, he squeezed a little splodge on his left
hand. Then he searched for the highly sensitive entrance to Jon's body.
Carefully, he circled the rim, before slowly, ever so slowly, pushing
one finger inside his lover. He felt Jon tense up at first, but after
a few tender strokes in and out, he felt his lovers body relax again.
All the time, Malcolm kissed, nibbled and licked at Jon's penis, never
letting go, creating a sensation that was overwhelming for the older
man.

When he felt Jon open up a bit, he gently inserted a second finger.
This time it was easier. As he heard the big mans moans, it filled him
with a deep pleasure to know that it was him who could do this to Jon.

After a few minutes of teasing, a third finger followed. Cautiously,
he added a bit more lube and slowly began inserting a fourth finger.

There was no more resistance. Jon had opened to him completely. And
this sign of trust nearly made him come in an instant. Malcolm
concentrated on Jon's pleasure again, thinking of big icebergs, the
forming of polar caps on the North Pole, and cold nights in Shuttlepod
One, to prevent him from coming too soon.

When Malcolm felt that Jon was close to coming, he reduced his
movements to a minimum and gently withdrew his fingers.

"No, lover, please, don't...." Jon moaned, sounding disappointed.

Malcolm climbed up to his lover, kissing him fiercely and asked him,

"Shall I go on like this? Or do you want me to make love to you like
last night?"

Jon opened his eyes, dark with unbridled passion.

"Come within me, Malc. It was so fantastic. Come. Come in me, now."

Malcolm shuddered at the love and the trust in these words.

He positioned himself between the parted legs of his lover and, after
lubricating himself carefully, gently pushed the tip of his penis into
his lover. He was rewarded with a sigh from deep within the man
beneath him. He leaned down to Jon, kissed him and murmured:

"You set the rhythm, love. Ill do whatever makes you feel good."

Jon slowly began to move his hips forward, taking Malcolm in, inch by
inch. After a few minutes of slowly pushing in and withdrawing again,
Malcolm was deep inside of Jon. Overwhelmed by the intensity of their
feelings, both man lay still for a few seconds, just gazing at each
other.

Then Jon let his head roll back and whispered,

"Move, please. Love me."

They began their dance of love. Slowly at first, until the passion
overtook control. Malcolm's movements became faster. He pounded deep
inside his lovers body and felt his climax begin to form.

He took Jon's hard penis in his hand and stroked him in rhythm to his
thrusts. Jon caressed Malcolm's chest and played with his nipples,
which made the younger man moan inarticulately.

Jon smiled. He had never before heard such sounds from his normally
very eloquent English man.

Then all rational thinking left his brain. He became sensation and
nothing more. All he could do was feel, touch, and stumble over words
of encouragement and love.

It seemed to go on forever. But after a few minutes he moved his hands
down to Malcolm's hips and pushed him in harder. He was so close to
coming. Just a few strokes more...

"Oh god, yes...come with me, darling...come...now...yes...YESSSSSSS!"

Jon came with a roaring shout, his come splattering all over Malcolm's
hand. Seconds later his lover crossed the edge, too.

They lay panting together. Jon felt his lover still buried deep inside
him, slowly becoming soft again. Malcolm's head rested on his shoulder,
and he felt the rapid beating of his lovers heart on his chest. Jon
caressed his shoulder lovingly with one finger.

"I never thought it would be that way."

"What do you mean?" Malcolm lifted his head and looked Jon in the
eyes.

"You...me...us together...and sex."

Malcolm chuckled softly.

"You mean, that you would like it so much?"

Jon remained serious.

"No, that I would love you more each day."

"So do I, my love."

Malcolm kissed him on the lips lingering.

"I should go to the bathroom. Or this bed will be a mess."

Jon didn't let go of him, just pulled him even closer.

"Don't leave me now, darling. Stay. Who cares about the bed."

Malcolm felt himself slip out of his lover and grinned.

"Anyway too late. Okay, a few minutes more, but then I have to leave."

Jon knew, he had to act now or he would wake up alone again. And he
want so sure he could handle it. He gave his lover a tender kiss, and
said in a casual tone.

"Did I mention Trips sleeping problems to you? It could happen
again... I mean... him seeing us."

"Oh, I see. Well, I think, he saw enough of us for the next few
months, don't you agree?"

"Absolutely. Why don't you stay the night?"

Jon hold his breath for a second. It was all or nothing.

Malcolm raised his head, gazing in disbelief at his lover. Then, after
a few seconds, one of his adorable half smiles appeared.

"You're serious?"

Jon nodded.

"Very. Would you...?"

Jon couldn't finish his sentence. Malcolm interrupted him with a
passionate, yet unbearable tender kiss that left Jon's brain in a
dreamy state of haze.

"Of course will I stay the night."

"Fine."

Jon pulled Malcolm to his body again and closed his eyes. He knew that
waking up tomorrow morning would be simply wonderful, for he wouldn't
search in vain for the warm body of his lover. He sighed deeply and
gave Malcolm a tender kiss behind his ear.

"Good night, Malc. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jon. Sleep well."

---

The End