The BLTS Archive- New Hopes by CKC (ceekaicee@yahoo.com) --- A few weeks ago, ****** posted an absolutely lovely, totally heart- breaking story entitled "Old Dreams." After reading it and sniffling quietly to myself, I couldn't stand leaving it there, so I wrote a sequel. Wait a second. Before you get all bent out of shape, **** has graciously sanctioned my sequel, and has given me permission to post it on BLTs. So there. Oops, sorry, list-mom. I'll behave. *Anyhow*, it takes place immediately after Old Dreams, so if you don't remember what happened, you might like to re-read it before starting this. Just a suggestion. Usual disclaimer: Get real. Please don't archive, 'cept you, R'rain. Complaints and criticisms should be directed to me, not Bron. She may have inspired this, but isn't responsible for it. Oh, yeah, she wants me to tell you all to get off her back about writing a sequel. This is it. --- It broke my heart to leave him sitting all alone by the resort bar, but I couldn't say anything to him then. I could feel his eyes burning into my back - the same sensation I had felt for the past two weeks - but B'Elanna was there. If my father taught me nothing else, he taught me that you don't try to start one relationship before ending another. So we walked out together, B'Elanna and I, and left Harry by himself. It didn't take us long to walk to her quarters, and she invited me in, as usual. We sat on the couch, my arm still over her shoulders. I don't know why I hesitated to say what I had to tell her. Actually, I do. I didn't want to hurt her. I like B'Elanna a lot, and if things had been different... Well, that train of thought's no good. Things are the way they are, and that's what matters. I didn't get a chance to say anything, though. She crossed her arms and looked at me. "It's not going to work, is it, Tom?" she said. I'd like to think there was regret in her voice. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Anyhow, I nodded. "I'm sorry," I began, but she held up her hand and I shut up. "For a while, I thought that I could replace him as your best friend," she continued. "Then I convinced myself that it was all right for you two to remain friends, because I would always have your heart. And finally, I realized that I didn't have your heart - it's been Harry's for a long time..." I nodded. What could I say to her that wouldn't rub her nose in the fact that I liked her, but didn't love her? I opened my mouth, but she held up her hand again. "Don't. Please. I know you didn't intend things to turn out this way. One day I'll be glad of that, but not right now. Just go, and tell him how you feel." I kissed her then, chastely on the cheek. In other circumstances, in another life, she could have been the one. She kissed me back, then gave me a wry smile and told me to get out. I didn't want to hurt her any more, so I went without saying anything else. In the corridor, I checked Harry's location with the computer, and then walked back to the holodeck. What was I doing? I wasn't even sure that Harry would want to see me - after all, I'd spent two months with B'Elanna, and I wouldn't blame him if he told me to get lost. I'd accept it, but it would hurt like hell. I didn't even pause when I got to the door. I barged in, expecting the resort, only to find Sandrine's. Oh, Harry... I spotted him immediately, like I always do, even when he's hiding in the darkest corner and thinks I don't notice him. How can I *not* notice Harry? He was sitting at the bar, talking with Sandrine. Her eyes flickered toward me. She'd seen me, but didn't say anything to Harry, who was sitting with his back to the door, nursing his drink. I walked over to him, but he didn't even know I was there until I slid onto the seat next to him and ordered a beer. I didn't even have to look at him to know that he flinched when I sat down, and then held his drink - whiskey, by the look of it - in both hands. For the past six months, I've known exactly what Harry's doing, even when I can't see him. That was one of the reasons why I tried to start a relationship with B'Elanna - do you have any idea how scary it is to know what your best friend is doing, all the time, day and night? And what if he knew the same thing about me? I'll admit it - I was terrified. So, when B'Elanna let me know she was interested in me, I jumped at the chance. Ran for it, like a coward running from the field of battle to a safe haven. Only the haven began to feel more like a prison, and I finally could see that I belonged on the battlefield. With Harry. I glanced over at him, still nursing his drink, his head lowered, that long fall of hair he usually trains back hiding his expression. Oh gods... What if it was too late for us? What if I'd sabotaged what I could have had with B'Elanna, only to find that Harry didn't want me? As much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew the answer. I'd be alone, because Harry was the only one for me. Harry stirred and looked around the room. "Where's B'Elanna?" He sounded exhausted and hopeless. Damn. "She's back at her quarters." I tried to catch his eye, but he wouldn't look at me. This was not going to be easy. He didn't say anything in reply, just hunched his shoulders and seemed to turn in on himself. I took a deep breath. I was going to have to fly this mission blind - no instruments, no horizon, no help. I'd have to trust in my knowledge of this man who was closer to me than anyone else in the universe, and hope I hadn't irrevocably alienated him. I decided to be blunt. "We broke up." *That* got a reaction. He finally faced me, frowning, his hand pushing the hair out of his eyes. "She *dumped* you?" I could hear the anger in his voice - he scraped his stool back and started to get up. "How could she *do* that? I'll go have a talk with that woman..." "Harry, wait." I touched his arm and he froze, then sank back on his stool. "I didn't say she dumped me. If anything, I dumped *her*..." Emotions flitted across his face - anger, confusion, a faint trace of hope... "What do you mean?" His voice trembled. "We both realized that it wasn't going to work." Strange how it was so difficult to say exactly what I meant. "Why?" It was barely a whisper. "Because I don't love her... I could never love her..." My heart was pounding, my throat was dry - gods, this was hard. Without really thinking about it, I reached out and took his hand, clasping it between both of mine. His fingers were cold, so I gently chafed them and stared down at our linked hands. Slowly, giving him the chance to pull away if he wanted to, I raised his hand to my lips and kissed the smooth back. He gasped and his hand shook, but he left it between mine. "Tom?" His voice was gentle, his question clear. "Yes." There. He had his answer. It was the best I could do right now. I looked up at his face, at the smile slowly creeping across his lips. He understood. Suddenly, kissing his hand wasn't nearly enough. Somehow his free hand was stroking my cheek, his lips were approaching mine, our arms were wrapped around each other... It was a kiss I'll remember until my dying day. Not because it was so passionate or intense - although there *was* passion, and it could have easily escalated into intense - but because it was the first time I'd ever kissed Harry, and been kissed by him. I can't imagine ever kissing anyone else like that again. By the time we managed to release our death grips on each other's lips and arms, my knees were shaking, and I collapsed back on my stool. A light tap on my arm roused me. It was Sandrine, smiling at us. "Thomas, Harry... It is time for you both to leave. This is not the place for l'amour." Oh. That word. The word I wanted to say to him, but couldn't. Yet. Strong fingers cupped my chin and raised my face to his. I could see love in his eyes, in his mouth, in every part of his face, and hoped he could see the same in mine. I guess he could, because he smiled one of those smiles that ignited the flames inside me. Without another word, he took my hand and we walked together to his quarters. Stepping across the threshold seemed momentous, but my brief moment of doubt evaporated when I looked into Harry's eyes, felt his hands on my face, fell into his kiss... With a sigh, Harry held me close and whispered "I must be dreaming..." I just shook my head and pressed against him, my hands pulling us as close as possible. I wanted to touch every part of him at once, feel every tremor that passed across his skin, hear his heartbeat. He kissed my neck, nipping and nuzzling until I writhed in his arms. I let my hands roam down his broad back, over his ass, up his firm arms. Somehow we ended up on his bed, arms and legs tangled, kissing frantically. I didn't even realize we still had our clothes on until I tried to caress his chest. With a deep groan, he pulled away and began to strip - but his fingers were clumsy and I ended up trying to help, even though my hands were shaking so much I could hardly undo his uniform fastener. Then he tried to strip me, but the result was just as futile. I started to laugh - I couldn't help it. There we were, two grown men, so consumed with lust that we couldn't even get our own clothes off. It was too funny. After a second or two Harry joined me, kissing me through our laughter. Things were easier after we calmed down. This time we made short work of our clothes, our movements less frantic, less urgent. I could take the time to enjoy the feel of Harry's smooth skin, the play of his muscles, the smell and taste of him. He touched me in ways I'd never been touched before; made me feel loved and cherished in a way I never thought a man could make me feel. We moved together, knowing what the other wanted without words. Pressure and tension built in me until I thought my skin couldn't hold me together - then Harry kissed me again and whispered into my ear. "I love you." It was enough, it was too much. I split apart like ripe fruit, and came harder than I'd ever done before, holding him tightly as my only anchor to sanity. With another kiss, Harry came as well. It seemed to last forever and end too soon, great swelling waves of pleasure that tossed us far from land. Our bodies slid together while we shuddered in each other's arms, muscles gradually relaxing, hearts calming. I touched his lips and drew my finger down his chest. This was Harry, the man who had stolen my heart when I wasn't looking, and who had given it back to me tonight. Harry. The man I loved. "I love you, too." There was nothing else to say. --- The End