The BLTS Archive - Miles to Go Before I Sleep
by Allison Kulp (cardassianfire@yahoo.com)

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Disclaimer:  Angsty ramblings by a fictional character based on
something someone else thought up. Several someone elses. Paramount
included.

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Keiko turned over in the bed, staring up the ceiling. She could not
stop her mind from gong back to the same old themes. After all, both
of them had wanted Kira near them while she was carrying their child.

But she hadn't been prepared for how it would be.

Other wives would be perplexed or even jealous in her situation, but
watching Miles giving Kira back rubs was liberating. It was marvelous,
seeing him finally with another woman.

She didn't hate Miles; in fact, she wished him the best. She loved
him, but never in the romantic way. He was more someone to come home
to, a father for her children, a comfort rather than a lover.

Truthfully, she didn't know how he felt about her. He loved her, yes,
but he would not ever really sacrifice anything for her. For a man who
loved new technology, he was surprisingly old fashioned. He wanted a
wife and kids at home, a wife that would go where he wanted to go
without much complaint, one whose life wouldn't get in his way.

She thought back to being introduced to her future husband by Data on
the Enterprise. Never trust an emotionless android to be a matchmaker.

She remembered the times when he had to face crises of spirit. Instead
of turning to her for support, he'd nearly self-destruct until he was
rescued, usually by Julian.

Poor Julian.

That man tried to offer himself as a friend, probably even as a lover
to her husband. It's the same story though. He ends up doing what
Miles want to do, darts instead of racquetball, or war games instead
of spy games. Julian's so desperate for any kind of social contact
though; Miles can get his way all the time.

Now Kira, she's got more inner strength than that. She'd demand
something more than a few nights of sex a month and small talk over
supper.

For a fleeting moment, she thought of giving Miles over to
Kira. "Here, take him, he's good with kids and not much bother."

She looked at him, sleeping beside her. Not yet. When the kids are
older, when I've got enough nerve to just go into the Starfleet legal
offices and file for separation. But not yet.

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The End