The BLTS Archive - Until the Fear Subsides by Cardassian Fire (cardassian_fire@yahoo.com) --- WARNING: Nonconsensual sex is mentioned, but done off stage. Don't read this if this squicks you. Spoilers / Disclaimer: In Purgatory's Shadow / By Inferno's Light. If you haven't seen these episodes, the story might not make much sense. Also contains some dialogue by Robert Hewitt Wolfe & Ira Steven Behr, not much but I did borrow a line or two. Not only that, but Paramount owns the characters, though I did buy the action figures and the Cardassian Sweet Tarts. Archive: ASCEM if they want it, anyone else ask Betaing: BiVegan and massive Betaing by Nadai --- Part 1 - Purgatory of the Mind --- "Well. Doctor, aren't you getting exactly what you wanted?", wheezed Tain. "After all, haven't you always been interested in male Cardassians?" Julian glared at him. He'd curled himself up into a ball on the cot, quietly rocking back and forth. "Not the same and you know it." "Now, Doctor, you do realize everything has its price. You needed bandages and some basic medical equipment, and I knew that my medic Roniz had some. You just had to pay for them, and you know how attractive you are. He and his men decided to set the price, and you paid it." "Monsters. All of you. Monsters. No conscience." Tain coughed and attempted to sit up. "And your problem is that you have one. Why should it matter if Martok bleeds to death out there? As long as he provides a distraction, I can finish my work and we can all get back home." "If he dies before anyone contacts us, we're all dead. No one else can last long in that arena. You haven't even finished your work on the transmitter." Julian shivered and clutched his shoulders harder. "I don't care anymore. I don't want to see you or Roniz rescued. I just want it all to be over." "Why, where's that Federation optimism? Surely you couldn't have lost that already, you've only been here a week and a half." Tain chuckled to himself, which turned into another coughing fit. When he regained composure, he spoke again. "You do realize you will need to get more supplies eventually. And Roniz's men can get extra rations. You will see them again, one way or the other. It's much better that we at least get something out of it." Julian's eyes snapped up. "I'm never going to see them again. Never. I must be able to get supplies some other way." Tain smiled. "It's a small station. They'll find you, and they will do as they please with you. This way, we also get the supplies we need." He sank back into the bed. "Now do be quiet, Martok will be coming back soon to prepare himself for the ring again, and I should rest before I work on the transmitter." Julian rocked himself silently to sleep, tears coming to his eyes. --- "What do you want now, human?" Deyos, the Vorta in charge of the prison, contemptuously regarded the disheveled human. Julian straightened himself up slightly. "We need more rations, and medical supplies. Please, sir, we didn't have enough before you added the two other prisoners to our cell, and both Martok and Tain need...." "I am well aware of how many prisoners are in each cell and their medical conditions do not concern me. I have an entire camp to run, with more ships filled with enemies of the Dominion coming every day. Good day, Dr. Bashir." Deyos turned away down the corridor. "But sir!" Julian shouted and reached out for him. One of the Jem'Hadar guards knocked him away with his rifle and sent him sprawling to the floor. "This conversation is over. Do not bother me again, or you will regret it." Deyos and his guards continued on their way. Julian shakily pulled himself to his feet and went to his quarters. Martok had returned from the arena, clothing torn and face bloodied. Julian got out the box containing the meager supplies he had left to treat him. *Oh God, no, nearly empty. I need bandages, disinfectant...oh God.* "Doctor, it looks like you're nearly out. Better ask Deyos for some more," said Tain with a smirk. "Tain, be quiet. He will get them. How is the transmitter coming along?" , asked Martok. He held his side where a large bruise was forming as Julian cleaned the blood off of his face. "Well enough, General. Why, we should be out of here before the wild targ hunting season is over." Julian shivered again. He knew where he had to go again tonight, but he had to find another way tomorrow. --- Deyos looked contemptuously at Julian. "You really are a troublesome human. Not even here a month and already stealing things." "A few medical supplies. I told you, I need medical supplies. You have Martok out there every day, fighting your guards, and I have nothing to treat him with. Don't you want a fair fight with a prisoner who can stand up to your Jem'Hadar?" pleaded Julian. He had been beaten by two of the guards when they discovered him stealing from the medical stores. "Please, don't you want a more entertaining battle? After all, I'm just patching him up to be broken again by your men." He fell back in the chair. Deyos considered him silently for several minutes, considering what to do with this disrespectful Starfleet officer. Julian opened his mouth as if to speak a few times, only to be stopped by a Jem'Hadar's glare. The Vorta leaned back and crossed his arms. "I didn't realize how badly you needed them. Doctor, you may have a slight increase in your medical rations. After all, it is better to have an opponent who poses something of a challenge, and a corpse is no challenge at all." Julian started to stand up, relieved that the Vorta had granted him this much "Not quite so fast. We do have the problem of your theft. If I didn't punish you, the others might feel that they could do anything they wanted to." The two guards on either side of him pushed him farther into his chair. A wave of sick panic engulfed him. "Guards, please extend his hands." Deyos got out a small box from his desk. He opened a small side panel and made some adjustments. Julian watched him with a sense of growing dread. "This should work. Hold him steady." The Vorta slipped the box over Julian's hands. The guards held out his hands and forced his shoulders down. Julian started to break out in a cold sweat. "What...?" Deyos regarded him with bored annoyance. "This device produces sound waves pitched high enough to damage your hands. You can still use them, but with considerable pain. And you'll still be alive. The Founders are generous. Stealing is no longer a death sentence." Julian howled with agony as the waves pulsated through his hands. When it was done, the guards dumped him out into the hall with a small ration of supplies. He cupped the box of rations under his chin with his elbows and unsteadily got up, carefully not using his hands to stabilize himself. He made his way slowly to his quarters where he collapsed onto his bunk and passed out from the pain. --- "Doctor, we've already discussed this. My decision is final," said Deyos in an annoyed tone. "Yes, sir, we've discussed this and you have not given me a good enough answer. If the Dominion is doing so well, then why can't we have more rations? The food allotment is barely enough to live on. And it's not as if the Jem'Hadar have to eat." "Doctor Bashir, you are a prisoner. Prisoners suffer because of their past actions. I don't have time for this." He turned to go. "Sir..." Julian raised his hand to try to regain the Vorta's attention. A Jem'Hadar guard grabbed it and forced it behind his back. Julian shrieked and sank to his knees. "I told you that was all," sighed Deyos. "Now what shall we do with you, as pain isn't enough of a deterrent? Guards, place him in solitary until he learns his manners." Two guards grabbed him, wrenched his hands behind him and cuffed him. They dragged Julian down the hall and threw him roughly into the cell. He landed on his stomach, where they stripped the cuffs off his wrists. Julian slunk onto the bed, cradling his throbbing hands. *Well, now you've done it. Can't leave well enough alone. At least there's no Tain, no Roniz to worry about in here. But then Martok needs you, and how about those two new Romulans, Shiza and Issae? Well, one less person to share the rations between. Damn it, extra food won't help with a cracked rib. You've messed it up again, Julian.* He slowly sank into a deep sleep, getting away from the pain. --- The guards shoved him down the hall back to his original quarters. The week in solitary had done him some good. Julian was slightly dazed and decided to give himself a quick assessment. His hands felt a little better, but they still ached intensely. He was still malnourished from the prison rations, and hadn't had a decent shower before he'd been locked up, let alone a shave. He had no idea as to if he could even take a shower right now as that might cause more waves of pain. The Jem'Hadar threw him into the cell. He stared in amazement at his new cellmates. *Garak, he's here? And Worf?* He recovered himself. "Garak, Worf... you're here." Garak stared at him with a sense of sick surprise. His eyes looked even more exaggerated by his ridges and his lips were pursed tightly. Julian looked down at the floor. He didn't need to be reminded of how disheveled and thin he must appear to his old friend. *Why should he be surprised? What the Hell should I look like after being incarcerated for this long?* Garak would probably look better, somehow he'd manage to find his composure. No matter what, Garak always came out on top. Seeing him after spending these last weeks with Tain certainly didn't help Julian's attitude. All those horrid things that Tain had said Garak had done came rushing back to him. Julian tried to steady himself, to see the tailor and not the interrogator in his rescuer. "Did Starfleet get Tain's signal? When can we expect them?" "Unfortunately, Doctor, we're the only ones who came, and we are prisoners just like you", said Garak. Julian collapsed on the cell floor. --- *I'm not free, but I feel better. A changeling. A goddamn changeling took my place. Didn't anyone notice? Am I that replaceable, that no one even cares if I act a bit strange? Or am I so easy to mimic that no one wants to look that close? Arrogant, know-it-all, lacking in social graces? It must be Julian. At least Garak is here, and if Roniz or any of his men attempted to touch me again, hopefully they'd regret it. And Worf - Worf could take over for Martok...It's still useless, there's still the arena and this laughable excuse for triage. What kind of control does Tain still have over Garak? There's that nagging fear. That Tain would play out the scenario again, but have Garak assault me, not Roniz. That Garak would want to show Tain what a good pupil he was. That he's ready to follow any order, even if it was to rape me? Tain wants me broken. I don't think he'd have any problem using Garak to break me further. Would Garak? Have I fallen so far that I am beneath anyone's care or contempt?* --- Julian made sure that he was never alone with Garak. When they were together, it was always in a public space, or when others were in the cell. He wasn't sure how Garak would react if he had told him what had happened in the past month, if he admitted to the hopelessness that threatened to consume him or the pains he endured. His friend had been an interrogator under Tain. Garak's loyalty still lay with his mentor, and Julian was nothing more than a weak human, just as easily broken as any other prisoner, if not even more easily. Garak might scorn him for snapping and might even want to take advantage of those weaknesses. As long as they weren't alone, Julian could push any fears to the back of his mind. Thankfully, Garak seemed wrapped up in his own problems, and Julian was not about to bring up his own. --- Martok told Garak that Tain was dying and Garak returned immediately to the cell. Uncertainly, Julian tagged after Garak, hesitating at the doorway. Garak motioned for him to sit down on the cot against the opposite wall. *Wait, aren't only Cardassians supposed to look upon their dying? Ritual impurity or something? * Julian sat down and listened to the hushed conversation. Every so often, Garak glanced up at him for some reassurance; some sign that Julian could hear what was going on. *Tain's his father? Damn. Talk about a difficult childhood. Tain wanted to kill Garak's mother? To kill his own son? He's trying to get some sort of recognition from that monster? And I thought my father was bad. All the work that Tain made him do, that damn implant, everything that he did to earn his respect and the only good thing he remembers is when Garak fell off a ... dog? Bloody hell.* "Garak?" said Julian. Tain had just passed into whatever afterlife awaited him, and Garak seemed completely drained. Martok and Worf came into the room before Julian could say another word. Garak covered his father's face with the rough blanket and turned to face all of them. "Gentlemen, I don't know about you, but my business here is done," Garak said tonelessly. Worf said, "Then I suggest we find a way out of here." --- Garak had just been shown the transmitter Tain had been working on for the past year, when Deyos called for all prisoners to assemble in the atrium. "We'd better go. Heaven only knows what Deyos will do to us if we stay in our quarters," said Julian. "Yes, our little dictator out there is rumored to have quite a temper. And with his Jem'Hadar following his every whim, that's a dangerous combination." The dim hall was filled with prisoners when they arrived. Deyos called out "All Cardassian prisoners please step forward." Uncertainly, Garak looked back at Julian, as if he might be walking into a trap. Julian silently urged him to go with the rest. Deyos stated that Cardassia had wisely chosen to work with the Dominion, all Cardassian prisoners were free to return home. Garak looked back at his friend, visibly shaken. Julian gave him an encouraging nod and smile, but his smile didn't reach to his eyes. * Garak? Going home? To Cardassia? Well, so is Roniz...but no more Garak? Now what? I'm sure he wants to go back, to end his exile and all that...* A cold lump formed in Julian's chest as he realized that he had mixed emotions about never seeing Garak again. He saw Deyos pull his friend aside, and Garak returned back to the doctor's side. "Now that's disheartening," said Garak. "What's going on? Why aren't you with the rest?" "Apparently, the new leader of Cardassia is none other than Gul Dukat." Garak gave a deep sigh. "Hopefully, they'll learn their lesson before the Dominion falls because of his incompetence and replace him with a much more adept lapdog." "I am sorry to hear that, for you and Cardassia. But at least we'll be going back to the station, with your help." "Ah, from being a prisoner back to being an exile. What marvelous choices I have in life." "On the bright side, you won't have to put up with Dukat," said Julian. "Doctor, you are always the optimist - but you're not the one who'll have to work in the crawlspace." --- Julian hesitated at the threshold. The noise was getting louder. "Garak? What is it? Garak? The panel's open now. You can come out, Garak. Garak?" The din continued. Julian crouched and peered into the conduit. "Garak? You have to stop. You're making too much noise." He faltered a bit and stepped further into the darkness. Garak was mumbling to himself, rocking back and forth - he looked as if he was having a panic attack. "The light...the light went out." "I know, I think you can take your break a little early." Julian reached out, trying to extricate the Cardassian from the tight space. Even in the gloom he could see how wide Garak's pupils were, and the crazed look on his face. His clothes were drenched with perspiration. Julian grabbed onto his hand. "Come on Garak, you're no good to anyone like this. You've earned some rest. Come on." Julian put his hand around Garak's trembling shoulder, trying to guide him to the door. Suddenly, the Cardassian threw him against the wall and tightly wrapped his arms around his torso. Julian stiffened. *Oh, God, not you too. Damn it, what the hell is he going to do to me? I don't need this, not now.* He felt strong arms force him to the ground. *Oh bloody hell, not you, not now.* Garak tightened his grip, and his breathing grew heavier. He rested his head on the doctor's shoulder. Julian waited with trepidation to see what would happen next. Garak rocked him slowly. His breathing started to come in long sobs. Julian felt tears trickling down his neck. *That's what he wanted? A hug, maybe some reassurance? Well, how would you react, Julian? If your father died, no matter how bad a father he was, wouldn't you want someone to feel some compassion for you? Just spend a little time grieving with someone cares about you. Then he found out now Cardassia is controlled by that madman, his worst enemy, so there's no chance he can ever go home. And being forced to work in that hellish crawlspace, with all the responsibility of getting us off this god forsaken rock on your shoulders? Add in claustrophobia...Garak's doing damn well. He's got nowhere to go to get away from all this, and not even a drop of kanar. Yes, I'd say he's handling all this very well.* Julian gingerly hugged him back, and let himself be gently swayed back and forth. Some time later, Garak had calmed down. "Doctor?", he said quietly. "Yes, Garak?" "I'm sorry for that outburst, I don't know what got into me. I suppose it's just the past few days. Everything has been collapsing around me, then you reached out, so I grabbed on and I couldn't let go." "It's all right. I understand. You're just overwhelmed, that's all." He lightly stroked his friend's hair. Garak looked up at him with bleary eyes. "I'm sorry though. I just feel...out of control." "It's ok. We've been through worse together, and we're going home together." "Doctor, may I ask you a question?" "Mmm hmm." "You were speaking about my knowledge of Cardassian field engineering..." He paused and sniffled. "Yes?" "Well, what about the Federation continuing education courses you had - the basic engineering ones? Now I'm not one to say that the Starfleet courses are better than Cardassian ones..". He gulped and continued, "But wouldn't they do in a pinch? When I need some...relief?" He sighed and put his head on the doctor's chest. "It's, it's not that easy, Garak," stammered Julian. "Ah." The tailor cleared his throat again. "May I ask why it's not so simple?" "They've done things to me here. They've hurt me." Garak interrupted. "I'm very sorry to hear that, but you're not answering my question." He took a deep breath and continued. "I don't know if I can do this, if I can handle this. Now I know I sound undependable, maybe a bit selfish..." "They did something to my hands several weeks ago with a Dominion punishment device. Every muscle felt ruptured and the bones felt broken, though I found out they weren't completely. I'm getting some feeling back in them, but I...can't handle any tools. Not with enough skill to do any good, not until I actually see a doctor myself. I'm sorry Garak." Julian leaned against the cold metal. Garak said softly, "I'm sorry I'm weak. I'm unable to control some childish fears for the sake of our lives." He sighed. "A disappointment. To my father, my colleagues, and myself." Julian slowly stood and helped Garak up. "You're not a disappointment. Not to me, at least. I realize the hell you're going through, but we've got to get out of here. I don't know what I can do, but I can try. Please try to hold together, just until we've escaped. Then you can collapse. Doctor's orders." Julian led him back into the main cell. As soon as he got closer to the light, he saw the blank, hopeless expression on his friend's face. He put him to bed, and broke the bad news to the Klingons about Garak's claustrophobia. --- *Garak, in front of Martok and Worf, just committed himself to using the transmitter to contact the runabout. They were talking about the bravery shown in the arena, and up pops Garak, looking at least somewhat refreshed. He's just won the respect of two Klingon warriors. He's terrified out of his wits, but not giving up. He stood up to his father, to that damn implant and to his fears. He's got that inner strength that I've always seen in him. But does he have enough to get us out of here? --- Part 2 - Inferno's Realm --- The plan had worked. Garak had come through just in time to beam them back to the runabout, just before Worf was to be killed in the arena and the rest massacred in the cell. Then miraculously, they had managed to battle through the Jem'Hadar lines and back into Federation space. When they knew they were out of harm's way, Julian worked on patching up Martok and Worf as well as he could with the limited supplies he had on hand. He had taken enough painkillers first to drown out his own body's distress. The Klingons left to repair the damaged runabout and get them back home. Garak lingered near the entrance of the makeshift infirmary. "Garak? Do you need anything? Something so that you can get some rest?" said a weary Julian, looking over his shoulder as he put up some medical supplies. "No, Doctor. I remember something you said back in the camp. I believe I can help you." He started to rummage through the containers. Julian backed away slowly. All the stories Tain had told him about Garak came back to him. Tain had mentioned that Garak had some medical knowledge, and that he had used that knowledge in his interrogations. He also knew Garak had been attracted to him for years. It would only make sense that now, while the Klingons were busy trying to get the ship back to the station, Garak would drug and take him. Julian fought a losing battle against the paranoid thoughts that threatened to engulf him. "Ah, here we are!", said Garak triumphantly. He held something up, something that resembled a hypospray. Julian flinched and half shut his eyes. His breathing became more rapid and he crumpled to the floor. His head was swimming with horrible imaginings of what Garak was holding, what he was going to do with him next. All the memories violently came back to him, of what Garak's people were capable of, what Garak was capable of. He tried to tell himself that it was his friend, and not Tain or Roniz with him in the small room. Garak put a hand on Julian's shoulder. Julian sat bolt upright, and his eyes snapped open. He saw Garak passing a medical tricorder over his body and the worried expression on his friend's face. "It's a bit more than just the hands, isn't it?" Garak took his hand from his shoulder. "I'm familiar enough with the very basics of medicine, and I thought perhaps I could help alleviate your pain. After all, it's easier to have someone else mend your hands than..." His words trailed off and he pursed his lips slightly. "No, it's worse than that. Much worse." Garak took a deep breath, set down the tricorder and turned to face him. "Doctor, I've seen this kind of damage before, from my days in the Order. I know what caused it, and that it needs to be treated as soon as possible to stave off any infection." "It's already infected. I know. I'm a doctor." Julian could hear the hoarseness in his own voice, and squeezed his eyes to try to stop the tears from coming. Garak sighed. "I can treat your hands, so that you can treat the infection. It's not your fault." "Garak?" Julian asked quietly. "Yes?" "How many times did you do this to a prisoner?" "Never. You must believe me." "I mean rape." "I know. Please believe me, Doctor. Never." "Then did you ever hold him down? Did you watch as some interrogator pounded into his victim, ignoring his pleas for help?" "No," whispered the Cardassian. "For once, please believe me. I could never do that. Not to you, not to anyone." "Ah, the interrogator has such a high moral standard. Why, he'd never hurt a fly." Julian gave a harsh chuckle that became sobbing. Garak sank to his knees. "Doctor, you know something of my background and what I had to do to protect the state. I can say that rape is one thing that I would not do." He seemed to be trying his best to look harmless. "Who did this to you?", he asked softly. "Why the hell does it matter?" "I still have a few contacts on Cardassia. They can stop them before they hurt anyone else." "You mean they'd be killed." "If that's what it takes." Julian stared at the ceiling. "Here I am a doctor, a man who preserves life. I don't want them killed, just punished for what they've done. Frankly, I can't see you doing anything but killing them, Garak." "They will be punished for their crimes. And not killed, at least not yet. Though we will leave that option open, if you change you mind." "Not killed. No." "Fine, not killed then. Surely we agree that they deserve some sort of punishment?" "Yes. I'll give you the name of their leader under one condition." "And what would that be, Doctor?" "If I find that you've killed him, or had him killed, any friendship we've had is over. I have no problem telling Ziyal either that you killed him against my wishes." He sighed. "All right. Under the threat of losing both of your affections, I promise that your tormenter will die of natural causes. Or if he meets his demise any other way, it won't be because of me. Though I must also protest this. Not everything should be handled according to your Federation standards, but in this case I'll agree to disagree, as you say. Satisfied?" "I suppose." Julian closed his eyes and took a deep breath, still considering what to tell Garak. "Roniz. He was also the medic for Tain's ship." His voice became hoarser. "And his two assistants, Frisah and Drogask. Tain recommended that I ask them for the supplies I needed to help Martok. Heartless bastards. They don't deserve to be called doctors." "Roniz?" Garak leaned back on his heels. "He served Tain for many years. Roniz." "What, you know him?' "He was a tool, no different than a trained hound and half as smart. When Enabran Tain needed something done--a medical procedure, torture--he could always call on him. The head of the Obsidian Order had many agents who would be willing to do what others, including myself, could not bring ourselves to do." He looked thoughtful. "Doctor, I will try to do something about Roniz and his men, although unfortunately they do have more clout than I do on Cardassia. But the one ultimately responsible for your pain is dead. We both witnessed his passing." Julian looked sick. "Tain? Tain ordered Roniz to do this? Why? I helped him. I kept him alive. I did everything I could for him." "He had his reasons. He may have become irritated at you. Not everyone...appreciates you like I do. And, you also saved my life." "I remember. He said he wanted to kill you and your mother." "Ah, yes." Garak snorted. "He always said that. And he meant it. He was never comfortable with the idea of having around anyone who could be used against him. It's much easier to keep obedient hounds than willful children." "So, while I was trying to save that ungrateful monster's life, he was having Roniz and his men rape me? What, did he also have the guards hurt me?" Julian asked shrilly. "No, no, just the Cardassians. Tain never wanted anyone around him he couldn't control. Occasionally, he did use rape to keep his people in line, just as he used torture and intimidation. Sex was just another means to an end. That was a lesson that I had to learn the hard way." Julian seemed shaken. "You mean he...?" "Oh no, no. He'd never use me, not in that way." Garak took a deep breath. "You do realize I am, as your writers say, born on the wrong side of the blanket?" "No... so, he never married your mother. I suppose that would be important in Cardassian society." Garak waved his hand. "With my mother's low social status, he would never marry her. Unfortunately, I'm also his only child, and in my society, family is everything. Even Tain wouldn't have been able to survive the scandal of killing his pregnant common law wife. So he was faced with a puzzle - he had a family, but he couldn't kill his family. So he did the next best thing." Julian uncurled his legs and wiped his face with his sleeve. "What was that?" "Soon after I passed out of puberty, Tain had one of his men remove my lanoilis gland. Are you familiar with that part of the Cardassian male anatomy, Doctor?" "Uh, no." "Ah. It's a very important little gland. It controls such things as sperm production, erections, anything that might lead to unforeseen problems, like children." "Oh God. He castrated you?" Julian straightened up. "Effectively. But he did solve several problems. No more unwanted family and less of a chance of my being seduced, or impulsively acting upon an urge. It also does help me concentrate more on my work, both then and now." "Bloody Hell." Julian was realizing the ramifications of what Garak was telling him. "So, having had my own father's agents do that to me, I can say I understand something of what you're going through." Garak smiled weakly. "Your father. He's..." "The head of the Obsidian Order. He served the state." "No, he's..." "Dead. And we need to get those hands of yours healed, and the rest of you. Then we can get you cleaned up with a shave, shower and fresh uniform." Garak held up the tricorder. "Now, what can I do to help you with that?" "Uh, we need a muscle regenerator, that long metal rod with the lights on it." "Good, tell me if I'm doing this wrong. It has been quite some time since I've used something like that." Garak first scanned with the tricorder Julian's left hand and showed him the results. He put down the tricorder, picked up the regenerator and held it over the damaged hand, glancing up occasionally at his friend. Julian sometimes had to show him where to point it to get the best results. When the procedure was done, he gave Garak a questioning look. "Does Ziyal know?" "About what?" asked Garak. "About your medical concern." "Doctor, she doesn't need to know. I don't think about her in that way. She's more the daughter I could never have, though I doubt she sees our relationship that way. Your replacement, he seemed to like her." "Really?" "Yes, that's when I began to think something was amiss." "How else did you know it wasn't me?" "It didn't...smell like you." Garak cocked his head, as if searching for the right words. "I don't mean that you smell bad, but you have a distinctive scent, eau de human, I suppose you'd call it. Mix that with your shampoo, soap, shaving gel and that dreadful cologne, and you have the delightful odor which is called Julian Bashir." Julian snorted. "I just hope some else noticed that I wasn't quite myself." Garak made a noncommittal noise and put down the regenerator. "And that one seems to be set. I'll also do the other one and then you can...heal yourself, as far as the rest of your injuries go." "That would be appreciated. I mean, I'm extremely grateful that you're helping me, but..." "I understand." "Garak?" "Yes, Doctor?" "When we get back to DS9, I want to see what I can do for you. To make you feel...more complete." Garak looked into Julian's eyes. "That might be nice, being able to truly express how I feel about someone. But you must promise me that you seek out someone who can help you get over this terrible ordeal. If you're going to try to make me feel whole, I also want you to feel complete." He finished scanning and regenerating Julian's other hand. "I do believe it's your turn now, Doctor." --- Inferno --- Dreams in my head floating away. Help to see tomorrow today. I try to forget as much as I can. I need to be helped, will you give me a hand My mind is a fire, an Inferno of fire. Burning its way through my strong desire To get free from the beast, that I can not see, To get free from the fire, that burns inside me. I can not escape the evil that's here. The wheel in my mind I'm unable to steer. I hear my heart beating as sounds reappear. The evil that's trapped it's been stuck in my ears I can't go alone that much I can tell. Afraid I'll get lost in the pits of hell. Which way should I go? Which way should I see? The farther away, the closer to me! Isengard (the American band) --- The End