The BLTS Archive - Lost in the Dessert
by Allison Kulp (cardassianfire@yahoo.com)

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Ezri took another sip of her Warp Core Breach.  She put down her drink
and took a long, slightly drunken, look at Quark. "Nope, I'd have to
say that wasn't the best sex I'd ever had. Not by a long shot."

Quark wiped another glass and put that one under the bar with the rest
of them. "Well, you can't let Jadzia's experiences cloud your
judgment.  I mean, after all, even Klingons can have bad days. Now
Ferengi," he leered, "we're a bit more creative. Klingons are all
grunts and sweat, but we have to learn how to please our customers, to
find out what they really want." He leaned forward and gave her an
especially toothy grin.

She hiccupped. "Nope, not Ferengi either. A few centuries of
experience will get rid of most of your sexual fantasies. I mean, it's
all the same thing, different colors, sizes, genders, but pretty much
genitals are genitals and they all pretty much fit together the same
way, no matter what humanoid species you wake up next to."

Quark snorted and went back to tidying up the bar. Ezri drummed the
bar with her fingers and looked off into the distance. She cupped her
chin in her other hand.

"Now there is one species on this station I've never had the pleasure
of meeting up with between the sheets. Even caught the eye of Jadzia
on more than one occasion."

"And who would the lucky humanoid be?", asked Quark. He threw the
dishtowel over his shoulder and peered at her.

"Changelings."

"Changelings?", squeaked Quark. "Their tempers are even worse than
Klingons. And Odo's just as bad as.."

Ezri stopped him. She pointed at him and took another sip of her
drink. "Bingo."

"Odo? He's the lucky one?"

"Nope, Kira is. At least in my opinion. Think about it, that man can
be anything, from an ice cube to underwear. Length, speed, texture,
whatever - her wish is her command. And positions? Heck, you could
probably even go swimming in him." Ezri drained the last of her drink.
Quark looked nauseated.

"Jadzia splashing around in a pool of Odo...ugh."

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. I wonder if he can alter
how he tastes, maybe changing into a nice butterscotch flavor," said
Ezri impishly. Quark grimaced, turning several shades of green. He
looked towards the end of the bar.

"Morn! How is your family doing all your brothers, sisters, uncles,
aunts, cousins and the rest of your happy brood?" He scampered over to
the Lurian.

Ezri regarded her empty glass. "Or peach Odo, with a hint of whipped
cream..."

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The End