The BLTS Archive - Data Tale
by Allison Kulp (cardassianfire@yahoo.com)

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Geordi strolled into Ten Forward, having just finished
another day of engine calibrations. He noticed Data sitting
in the back, looking quizzically over a padd. He ordered a
drink and took it over to Data's table.

"Hey Data, what do you have there?"

"Greetings, Geordi. I was just reviewing some of your
planet's holidays. Many of them concentrated on a specific
ethnic group. For example, Saint Patrick's Day was a
celebration of Irish culture. Cinco de Mayo concentrated on
the contribution of the country of Mexico. Saint George's
Day.."

"Data," interrupted Geordi. "Before Earth became part of the
Federation, we had many celebrations of our different
heritages.  It was a way for us to understand each other
better, to get to know each other's cultural background."

"Ah." Data raised one of his eyebrows slightly. "Then what
is this holiday? Pride?"

"Umm...that's a little harder to explain, Data. Many years
ago, it was a celebration for people with...alternative
lifestyles." Geordi took a sip of his synthehol.

"Alternative lifestyles?"

"Yes, well, alternative to what was then considered the
sexual norm. The norm was supposed to be a single
heterosexual family with no interest in, erm, any
other...sexual explorations. Sometimes it was called vanilla
sex."

"Then what we have is chocolate sex?"

"What?!?"

"Chocolate sex. Counselor Troi has said that the opposite of
chocolate is vanilla. As we do not engage in heterosexual
intercourse, we have chocolate sex."

Geordi laughed and shook his head. "No, Data. We just have
sex, not any specific flavor of sex. We have...homosexual
relations."

"But that is not true, Geordi, as I am not actually another
humanoid male. You must remember the upgrades that I have
gone through to improve my sexual techniques and the
interchangeable hardware to go along with them? And I have
created new subroutines to match your specific varieties of
pleasuring." Data tilted his head slightly to the side and
looked at Geordi.

"Oh, yes I definitely remember those, Data. And I suppose we
qualify as an alternative lifestyle, human and android,"
Geordi chuckled.

"Then we should celebrate this Pride Day. I believe it is
the closest humans have come to the Vulcan Festival of
IDIC."

"I have to agree with you there, but somehow I can't picture
Vulcans decked out in leather."

"Ah. Feather boas then?"

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The End