The BLTS Archive- Survival Instinct
Second in the Wraiths Trilogy
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)

---

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, Janeway thought
ruefully.  When Chakotay had reminded her about her suggestion that
they take a refresher course on basic survival techniques, she had
agreed readily.  A few hours brushing up on skills that obviously
needed some work... what could be simpler?  A great deal, as it turned
out...

---
SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER:
---

Janeway's steps slowed as she neared the entrance to holodeck two
where her First Officer was waiting.  At her approach, he turned and
gave her a quick smile.  "I like the outfit."  She glanced down at the
casual brown clothes she wore, and grinned.  

"It's the height of fashion in survival gear.  Are you ready?"

A faint glimmer lit his eyes as he nodded before turning and opening
the holodeck door.  "Are you?"

"Yes."  Janeway paused.  "Chakotay?"  He turned to face her and she
gave him a stern look.  "Just one thing..."

"Yes?"

"No matter what happens in there...you're not getting one more lock of
hair.  I don't care if we end up rubbing two sticks of wood together
until our next duty shift, I'm not sacrificing any more hair in the
interests of fire-making. Understood?"

His smile widened.  "Aye aye, Captain."  He gestured toward the
doorway.  "After you."

She shook her head.  "Oh no.  After you."  The Commander gave her a
quick look then entered the holodeck, Janeway following close behind.
The door hissed silently shut behind them.

---

It was a forest.  Janeway took a deep breath of the pine-laden air
then let it out with a contented sigh.  This was lovely.  Chakotay had
outdone himself when he programmed this.  "I think I'm going to enjoy
myself," she thought silently.  Above them, the branches swayed in the
slight breeze and the distant calls of birds could be heard through
the trees.

They were standing on a narrow path, sunlight glimmering through the
branches.  Just ahead the path divided itself into two trails that
disappeared between the close-ranked trees.  Chakotay and the Captain
exchanged a quizzical glance.

"First test I suppose," Chakotay mused.  "Which way, Captain?"

"Kathryn," Janeway said absently, pondering the two choices before
her.  She didn't see the brief expression that flashed across her
companion's face.  When she did look back at him, his face wore its
customary serene mask.  "We could split up, check both, and meet back
here in fifteen minutes..."

Chakotay shook his head.  "No.  It makes more sense to stay together.
Besides...Kathryn...it would be too much of a cliche if we lost each
other in the woods."

A chuckle escaped her.  "Agreed.  All right, let's go...left."

"Why left?"

"Why not?"

"As good a reason as any.  Well...once more unto the breach..."  He
set out along the path, striding smoothly over the uneven ground.
Janeway followed silently.

          
The pace Chakotay was setting was perfect -- not too fast yet they
were covering the ground rapidly.  Of course, Janeway wasn't quite
sure where they were going.  "We're lost, but we're making good time,"
she thought to herself randomly.

Still, for a survival test, this program was proving to be a
little...tame.  So far the most alarming organism they had encountered
had been a swarm of blackflies.  And that wouldn't have been so
dangerous if Janeway hadn't gotten carried away with her swatting and
had accidentally whacked her First Officer.  Hard.  She winced
inwardly again at the memory.  Of course, the expression on his face
had been... unforgettable...to say the least...

"I suppose we should try to find something edible," he was saying as
he pushed through the trees that were growing more closely together
now.  Janeway did not answer.  A flash of grey off to the side caught
her attention and she paused briefly.  Unaware that she had stopped,
Chakotay pressed on, muttering something about mushrooms.

There.  A grey squirrel.  Fascinated, Janeway watched it for a moment
as it scampered up a nearby pine tree.  then she turned away...and
blinked.  The path ahead was empty. A brief flicker of alarm shot
through her, which she quickly stifled.  He would be just up ahead.
There wasn't anywhere else to go, after all, given that the trees were
now so thick that any attempt to leave the path would result in
multiple scratches and a *lot* of noise.

Speaking of noise...from up ahead came a thud and a muffled yelp.
"Chakotay?"  Janeway lengthened her stride, ducking under an
outstretched branch.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm...fine."  There was a sheepish tone to his voice.

"Where are you?"

"Er...over here."

The path ahead widened slightly.  Janeway hurried forward, alarm
growing within her...then stopped dead.  For a long moment she stared
incredulously at the sight before her then had to turn away as a tide
of laughter threatened to engulf her.  With a mighty effort she
managed to suppress it.

"It's not funny," he said plaintively.

Janeway drew a deep breath.  "No.  I suppose not."  She looked up at
him, striving gallantly for an expression of sympathy and concern.  It
took a *lot* of effort.

Her First Officer was hanging upside down several feet above the
ground, a noose around his left foot, and a look of mingled annoyance
and embarrassment on his face.  He swayed slightly in the breeze and
Janeway dissolved into a gale of laughter.

"Do you mind?" he asked acerbically.

"Not at all," she said, suppressing her merriment.  "I'll get you
right down...can't have you just hanging around..."  She had to pause
to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face then vanished
into the trees, seeking the end of the rope that held him.  Chakotay
groaned.

"You're not being very sympathetic..." he started to say, then broke
off as she found the rope tied around a nearby tree...and released it.
Abruptly the ground came up to meet him.  Hard.

He landed in a bush, which was useful in that it helped break his
fall.  Unfortunately it also had thorns. Chakotay bit back the curses
that came sizzling to his lips as he tried to pull himself from its
grasp.

Janeway materialized from out of the trees, her eyes sparkling.  "What
are you doing in there?" she asked innocently.  Chakotay cast her an
unreadable glance, then carefully reached past the thorns for a
cluster of large purple berries.  "Looking for something edible," he
replied, deadpan.

Janeway dissolved again into helpless laughter then reached a hand
down, bracing herself against his weight as he pulled himself up.
"Well done, Commander," she said with mock seriousness.  "Although
next time I suggest you try another approach to food-gathering."  She
reached out and pulled a twig from his hair.  "You look like you've
been dragged through a hedge backwards."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, brushing the rest of the leaves out
of his hair.  His fingers brushed hers and Janeway's breath caught in
her throat.  Their eyes met and a stunned expression crossed both
their faces then Janeway turned aside and continued hastily.  "Well,
since you were clever enough to find out what the traps look like, we
should be able to avoid them in future."  She glanced back at him over
her shoulder, a wicked smile on her lips.  "That *was* what you were
doing, wasn't it?" 

"Absolutely."  He nodded agreeably.  The brief moment of tension
between them faded as if it had never been.

Janeway's grin widened.  "You, Chakotay, are a man of many
talents...trap-finding, bush-diving.  What else do you do?"

"It's a *very* long list."

She laughed out loud.  "And modesty is obviously not high on it."

He shook his head.  "No...I'm afraid I'm sadly lacking in that area."

There was a pause then Janeway looked back up the path. "Shall we?"
she asked, waving an arm toward it.

"All right.  But *you* go first this time."

She laughed again then strode away, deeper into the woods, not waiting
to see if he was following.  Chakotay hesitated for a moment, watching
her go, then moved forward, watching his footing more carefully this
time.

---

It had been good to hear her laugh again, he realized as they
continued through the forest.  She hadn't smiled much since...since
Eidolon.  The events of three weeks ago had obviously affected her
more than she had initially let on. After that last moment on the
planet, when she had reached for his hand as they were beaming back to
Voyager... She hadn't exactly avoided him but neither had she gone out
of her way to be near him.  And their conversations had been...not
stilted...but still lacking in their earlier ease.  Chakotay sighed.
Of course, he probably hadn't helped much.  Most of his time had been
spent working through his own emotions about the wraith.  It was only
recently that he had begun to come to terms with what had happened to
him.

Chakotay's gaze returned to the slim figure moving through the forest
ahead of him.  In a way it had been harder for her, he thought.  He
had known what was happening, known from the first that he was no
longer in command of his own body.  She had had only her own instincts
to guide her.  And yet somehow she had seen through Eidolon's lies and
had brought him back.  She had risked her life and her very
sanity...for him...

Lost in thought, the Commander didn't notice that Janeway had come to
a halt until it was too late.  Unable to stop himself in time he
plowed into her, sending her jolting forward a few steps before she
could regain her balance.  "Sorry..." he started to say when she
hushed him quickly with a waved hand.  He moved forward a pace and
looked questioningly down at her.  Silently she pointed.  He frowned,
staring into the trees...and then he saw it.  An Altairian hawk.  A
female.  She was sitting on a pine branch, her mottled brown and grey
plumage blending with the forest behind her, her long hooked beak
slightly open.

She was beautiful.  Chakotay watched as the hawk shifted slightly, her
gaze focusing on the two human interlopers. For an endless moment the
forest was still, and then the hawk spread her wings and screamed at
them.

Chakotay's reverie faded.  Stories of nesting hawks and their
territorial instincts flickered through his mind.  He pulled at
Janeway's sleeve.  "Let's go," he whispered in her ear.

As if that slight sound were the trigger, the hawk abruptly leapt from
the branch and dove straight toward them.  Suddenly the bird was no
longer quite so fascinating.  Both Starfleet Officers ducked as she
plummeted toward them, only the wind and the faint rustle of feathers
marking her passage.  And then she was in the sky above them,
shrieking abuse.  The two humans turned to flee...and rebounded off
each other as they both tried to take opposite directions.  They gave
each other a frustrated glance then, as one, ducked as the hawk
stooped low for another attack.  Janeway hastily seized his sleeve and
plunged into the forest, her First Officer in tow.

Fortunately just prior to each dive, the hawk would fall silent...and
Janeway and Chakotay would duck.  And then they would continue their
hasty retreat.  The bird moved with ease through the thick trees, but
the Starfleet Officers were not so lucky.  Pine boughs and fallen
trees impeded their progress and once Janeway tripped over an exposed
root.  Only Chakotay's hand under her elbow kept her on her feet...and
then the bird was on them again. They ducked once more, catching a
brief glimpse of an angry brown and grey shape gliding past and ahead
of them.  And then another shape soared in from the left.  Her mate.
Damn.

"Wait a minute..."  Chakotay paused in his headlong flight.
"Computer, delete Altairian hawks."  The only response was yet another
stooping attack.  "Computer..."

"Don't talk.  Run!"  Janeway yelled at him over her shoulder.  He
glanced up...and, throwing dignity to the winds, dashed after his
Captain.

Finally the hawks broke off the attack, evidently feeling they had
harried the humans far enough from their nest.  At that moment,
Janeway broke from the gloom of the trees into blinding sunlight and a
meadow...with a fast-moving creek...right before her.  Arms
cartwheeling wildly, she managed to skid to a halt at the last
possible moment.  And then Chakotay emerged from the trees at a full
gallop, only a pace or two behind her.

"Chakotay, no..." she only had time to say, before his full weight
slammed into her.  Together they plunged headfirst into the creek.

Janeway emerged first, sputtering, cold water dripping from her hair,
Chakotay's weight pinning the rest of her beneath the freezing water.
She pushed futilely at him.  "Get off," she said, her teeth chattering
in the sudden chill.

He was trying.  But he couldn't seem to find any purchase on the
water-slick stones.  Each time he tried to lift his weight from her,
the force of the water pushed him back.  This was becoming
embarrassing.  Finally he gave up and rolled, effectively drenching
them both yet further.  And then he was on his feet, reaching behind
him for his Captain.  Together they half-crawled, half-swam to the far
bank.  The Commander collapsed on his back on the muddy shore while
Janeway likewise fell face down beside him, gasping.  A long moment
passed then he took a deep breath, shoved his wet hair back to scan
the sky above them, and breathed a heartfelt sigh.  The hawks were
gone.  Only then, reluctantly, did he glance over at the shivering
woman beside him.

She was staring wordlessly at him through her matted red hair, which
had worked loose from her intricate pony-tail. The expression in what
he could see of her eyes was not particularly warm.  He essayed a
small, lop-sided smile. "Oops." There was a note of trepidation in his
voice.

Janeway levered herself up on her elbows and pushed her hair back.
"Oops?" she repeated.  "Oops?"

"Um.  Sorry?"

"You're sorry?"  Her voice rose.  "Chakotay, you just threw me into a
creek."

"But I jumped right in after you."  The lop-sided smile tilted yet
further.

"You...?"  Incredulity flashed across her blue eyes, and then she
lowered her face onto her arms, so he could no longer see her
expression.  Concern went through him...until he realized she was
laughing again...hysterically.  She rolled onto her back, ignoring the
mud and holding her side, and gave into the mirth bubbling
within her.  After a moment, Chakotay joined her.

---

When Janeway finally regained control of herself, her sides ached and
her jaw was sore.  She was also becoming uncomfortably aware of the
fact that she was soaking wet and lying on her back in the mud.
Still, she hadn't laughed like that in a long time.  It had
felt...good.  She glanced over at her First Officer as she slowly sat
up, pushing futilely at her hair.  He too was soaked, his beige shirt
clinging tightly to his chest and arms...his well-muscled chest and
arms...  She swallowed deeply then quickly looked away, trying to
repress her straying thoughts.  "That is not helping, Kathryn," she
told herself severely.  The fact that her emotions were running
wild...had been ever since... No. No. No!  Janeway thrust the images
aside and climbed to her feet, squelching slightly.

"This is not the time," she thought to herself sternly.  "Isn't it?"
another voice inside her asked.  She ignored it.

Chakotay's eyes had opened when she moved.  He peered up at her,
squinting a little in the sunlight.  "This is not what I had in mind,"
he said.

"No."  She looked around.  "Computer, end program."

There was no response.  Beside her, Chakotay shifted and gracefully
climbed to his feet.

"Let me guess...the holodeck is malfunctioning... again." There was no
surprise in his voice.

She shot him a look.  "Computer.  Exit."  Again, no response.

Their eyes met.  "Now what?"

Janeway unconsciously reached for her communicator pin, then realized
she was not wearing it.  Neither of them had thought it necessary to
bring one.  She gritted her teeth. "Now we wait until someone misses
us."

"Wonderful."  Chakotay's voice was dry.  "Our next duty shift isn't
for another twelve hours.  And in the meantime...?"

She sighed.  "In the meantime...we survive."

---

Once again, Janeway found herself struggling futilely to start a fire.
She cursed silently.  Lately, the better part of her life seemed to
involve crouching on her knees over wood and bits of kindling, blowing
into embers that refused to catch, and inhaling torrents of smoke.  It
didn't help that she was soaking wet and that her clothing was
clinging to her uncomfortably.  She shivered at the cold wind knifing
through her and glanced up at her First Officer, who was breaking more
twigs for her.  "Are you getting a feeling of deja vu?" she asked.

"There are a few differences."  He handed her the sticks. "At least
this time I haven't been shot and you haven't been poisoned.  And
neither of us is currently possessed by an evil alien...I presume?"
Chakotay's voice rose on the last words, trying to inject some levity
into the moment. Then he cursed himself silently at the shadow that
crossed her eyes.  Hastily, she turned her attention back to the
campfire.  Chakotay watched her for a moment then crouched beside her.
"I'm sorry," he said simply.

She glanced at him.  "For what?  Throwing me in the creek?  You should
be."  Despite her tone, her expression was strained.

He shook his head.  "For bringing up...what happened. And for not
being there for you these past few weeks."

Janeway gave him a startled look.  She opened her mouth to reply then
changed her mind at the last moment. Uncomfortably she edged away from
him a little, focusing on the fire that stubbornly refused to start.
"I need more kindling."

"Kathryn..."

"If we don't get a fire started soon, we're both going to freeze."
She didn't meet his eyes.

Chakotay paused, then leaned forward across the twigs and put both
hands on her shoulders, forcing her to face him. She stiffened at his
touch.  "Kathryn.  We need to talk." At last her gaze met his.  For a
moment he thought she would pull away then she stilled.  She
hesitated...then
nodded.

"You're right.  We do.  But not now."

There was a brief battle of wills then Chakotay's gaze dropped and his
hands fell away.  He too nodded reluctantly.  "I'll get more
kindling."

Her expression lightened and a small smile curled at her lips.  "Thank
you."  He stood, as she resumed her efforts with the fire.  "Besides,"
she muttered, half to herself, "All I can think about right now is
being warm and dry again."

Suddenly, with no warning, there was a blinding flash of light, as if
the holodeck's main circuitry had overloaded.  Both Chakotay and
Janeway flung up an arm to protect their eyes, then blinkingly
reopened them, wincing at the glare.

Everything had changed.  Where a forest and thick undergrowth had
been, a desert now lay.  Around them a sea of golden sand dunes
stretched out to the horizon which shimmered in the distance.  Two
orange suns pulsed in the electric blue sky.  There were no plants, no
signs of animal life...nothing but the sky and sand.

"Computer...End program."  The result was the same as before.  Janeway
met Chakotay's eyes in dismay.  Her wet clothing had begun to steam,
she noticed distantly, and her hair was drying rapidly.

Chakotay bent and ran some of the yellow sand through his fingers then
looked up at her.  "The programs seem to be merging," he said.  "I
think this one might belong to Ensign Agaris."

Janeway chewed her lip.  It was hot, and growing hotter. "So we're on
Deneb Prime now?" she asked, mopping at her brow.

The Commander nodded and climbed back to his feet.  "I think so."

"Have you ever been there?"

"Just once.  I left in a hurry."

Great.  Just great.  "So how hot is it going to get?" She shaded her
eyes and peered cautiously at the twin suns that were rising higher in
the sky.

Chakotay was gazing at her with some concern.  "Do you really want to
know?" he asked.

"Probably not."  She turned her back on the binary stars, feeling the
back of her neck prickle with the heat.  She resisted the urge to
pant.  "Well, you're the expert here. What's our next move?"

"Look for an oasis.  We can't stay here."

Janeway sighed.  "Agreed.  Which way?"

"Left?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"  He echoed her earlier words back at her then gave her a
reassuring glance.

"And I wanted to be warm and dry," Janeway thought ruefully moments
later as she struggled across the shifting sands.  "Chakotay?" she
said aloud.

"Yes?"

"The next time I decide to take a survival course on the Holodeck,
hold me down until the urge passes."

"Deal."

Together they moved across the desert, only the low whistle of the hot
wind breaking the silence.

---

Their clothes had dried in a matter of minutes it seemed. The suns had
reached their zenith...and had stayed there... while the temperature
had moved from uncomfortable to "hot enough to fry your eyeballs" --
at least in Janeway's private opinion.

Her foot slipped as the sand shifted beneath her and Chakotay reached
out to steady her.  She cast him a covert glance.  Beyond a faint
sheen of perspiration glistening on his brow, there were no signs that
the heat was affecting him.  Janeway, on the other hand, thought she
was going to die.  She had never been able to cope with the heat.  Put
her in an icy frozen wasteland and she'd be fine, but a blazing hot
desert...she might as well give up now.  And of course she had
inherited her mother's red hair and fair skin that burned if she even
looked at the sun the wrong way.

She rubbed surreptitiously at her nose -- it was already starting to
peel.  Damn.  Meanwhile, her First Officer looked like a modern
version of Lawrence of Arabia. It wasn't fair.

Actually, he made a very dashing Lawrence of Arabia. After several
minutes of struggling through the dunes, he had removed his shirt,
torn both sleeves off, and offered her one as a makeshift
head-covering, wrapping the other artistically around his own.  So now
he was looking very...piratical...in his bandanna and suddenly
sleeveless shirt which he had not bothered to rebutton all the way.
And *that* wasn't helping Janeway's body temperature much either...

She stumbled again.  Once more he was there, steadying her.  "Are you
all right?"  The concern in his voice was growing.  He gazed closely
at her.  Her hair was tangled -- she had made some effort to tie it
back again but it had defeated her efforts -- and a red flush was
beginning to creep across her face.  Much more of this and she'd end
up looking like a Talaxian tomato.  She rubbed her nose again.

"I suppose you never burn, do you?"  There was an accusing note in her
voice.

"No.  Sorry."

She did not reply, merely stared over his shoulder at the surrounding
desert.  "Do you think there is an oasis out here somewhere?"

"I don't know.  It would depend on..."  Chakotay broke off.  Janeway's
expression had changed to one of amazement. He turned and followed her
gaze...and promptly lost his faculty for speech.  Finally, he managed
to ask:  "Do you see what I see?"

Her voice was cautious.  "I'm not sure.  What do you see?"

Chakotay hesitated.  "I see a large group of Klingons ballroom
dancing.  To a Viennese waltz."

"Me too.  Odd...isn't it?"

Another long silence fell between them as the Klingons waltzed closer
across the sand, the strains of the "Blue Danube" floated through the
desert air.  Chakotay and Janeway watched incredulously as the group,
the men in black tuxedos and the women in bright, feathered evening
gowns, danced past them.  And then they were gone, disappearing over
the sand dunes.  The Captain exchanged a glance with her First
Officer.

"Well, unless that was a shared mirage or we've both completely lost
our minds, I think the programs have been merging again.  Any idea who
owns that one?"

"None whatsoever."  There was a note of blank astonishment in his
voice.

"I'm starting to think I should worry about the state of my crew's
psyche."  Janeway turned away as the music began to fade.

Chakotay cast one more disbelieving glance to where the dancers had
vanished.  "You could be right."  They shared a bemused look for a
moment then the Captain resolutely set out again.  Behind them, the
last strains of music faded and vanished altogether.

---

Janeway slowed to a halt and resisted the urge to topple forward into
the sand.  She wasn't sure how much more of this she could stand.
Beside her, Chakotay stopped when she did, the concerned expression
once more on his face. He was about to speak when she looked
down...and leapt sideways, reaching a hand toward him.  He followed
her gaze.  A large centipede-like insect scuttled past them and
vanished over the crest of a nearby sand dune.

Janeway suddenly realized that her heart was pounding uncomfortably
fast and that she had his arm in a vice-like grip.  Hastily she
released him.  "Sorry," she said, her voice shaking slightly.  "Just
more deja vu..."

Chakotay hesitantly reached out and touched her shoulder. "The gwari?"

For a moment Janeway debated changing the subject again...  But then
the memories of the small insect whose bite had nearly killed her
three weeks ago returned full force -- and suddenly the silence became
too much.  "I thought I was going to die," she said softly, meeting
his eyes.

"So did I.  I thought I would have to watch you die. That there was
nothing I could do to save you.  That was..."  His voice tailed off.
The silence grew between them.  Finally, he continued.  "Kathryn..."

"Yes?"

"I...have to ask.  Do you...blame me...for what happened?"

"No!  Of course not."  She responded a little too quickly.  There was
another uncomfortable silence and she glanced away, suddenly unable to
meet his gaze.

"Well...maybe part of me does...did."  She didn't look up, didn't want
to see the hurt on his face.  She swallowed and kept talking.  She had
come this far, after all...  "Part of me did blame you for letting
Eidolon take control of you.  I know...I *know*...that there was
nothing you could have done and that it was only because you were
strong enough to defeat him in the end that we're both not
dead...but...there was still some small part of me that blamed you for
putting my ship and crew in danger.  I...I know it's not logical, and
it's not *right*, but..."  She choked on her words and ground to an
awkward halt.

"I blame *me* too."  The bitter self-recrimination in his voice caught
at her and she glanced up apprehensively.  The expression on his face
was... No!  She couldn't allow this...She reached up and rested one
hand lightly on his shoulder.

"No," she said aloud.  "Don't do this to yourself, Chakotay.  It
wasn't your fault.  I know that.  I really do.  There was nothing you
could..."

"I hurt you."  Anguish had joined the recrimination.  "I hurt you,
kidnapped you, and nearly killed you."

She shook her head.  "No.  We've already had this conversation.
Eidolon did those things.  Not you.  Look - ignore everything I just
said.  I *did* blame you...sort of...but I've been doing a lot of
thinking lately and I don't anymore.  *No* part of me blames you."
Her other hand joined the first and she took a step closer.  "Please
don't do this to yourself."

He reached up and seized her wrist.  "Kathryn."  She did not move.
"I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for everything that Eidolon did and said to
you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to stand against him..."

"Chakotay..."  It came out as a ragged whisper.

"No.  You have to let me say this.  You could have died so easily.
There were times I thought you *had* died.  Times I thought I had lost
you...that I'd never get the chance to tell you..."  Chakotay drew a
deep breath and dragged his tangled emotions back under control.  He
altered his grip on her wrist, allowing it to slide upward until he
was holding her hand.  "You brought me back from the darkness,
Kathryn, and I...I owe you a debt I can never repay."

Why did she have the impression that that wasn't what he was going to
say?  Janeway thrust the sensation aside and responded to his words.
"There is no debt.  Friends...friends don't count costs.  And, if it
helps...whatever part of me that blamed you, forgives you.  If...if
you can forgive me too."

"Forgive you?  For what?"  Now there was only blank astonishment in
his voice. 

"I shot you.  In case you'd forgotten."  A crooked smile crossed her
face, mingling with the tears that were threatening to fall.  "I also
gave you a concussion, tied you up, and bashed you over the head with
a rock.  None of which I'm especially proud of..."  The smile had
vanished.

Chakotay's grip on her hand tightened.  "You had no choice."

She looked away.  "There are always choices."  The stricken look had
returned to her face.  "Chakotay, I *shot* you.  I could have killed
you.  If my aim had been just a little off..."

"But it wasn't.  And you didn't.  Kathryn -- you did what had to be
done.  I don't blame you -- how could I?  You saved my life."

"And you saved mine."  There was a long silence, then: "Why are we
both agonizing over this?"

He drew in a deep breath.  "I'm...not sure.  Probably because we both
hurt each other.  And because..."

"Because...?"

Another deep breath.  "Because when you hurt someone you...care
about...it hurts you too.  Sometimes more."

There really wasn't anything she could say to that. Janeway nodded and
began to step backward, her face still reflecting all of her bruised
emotions.  With a muffled exclamation, Chakotay suddenly pulled her
into his arms, holding her tightly.  For an instant she stiffened then
hesitantly returned the embrace, her heart pounding against his.  An
eternity passed, then finally:

"Chakotay?"  Her voice was muffled against his chest.

"Yes?"

"It's too hot to hug you."

Laughter that helped banish the despair welled up within him, and he
slowly released her.  Carefully she withdrew from his embrace, moving
back a pace, then met his gaze. Some of the underlying tension had
faded from her eyes and she held herself less stiffly than before.
Likewise, Chakotay could feel the stress draining away within him.
Gently he reached a hand out and wiped away the single tear that had
cascaded down her cheek.  She gave him a watery smile.

"So...what are we going to do about...all this?"  She waved a hand at
the sand surrounding them.  "If I have to spend much more time here, I
think I'm going to spontaneously combust."

She was changing the subject.  Chakotay let her.  As good as it had
felt to air some of the emotions that had been tearing at him for
weeks, they had more pressing concerns right now -- namely survival.
"There's got to be an oasis in here somewhere.  We'll find it."

Janeway brushed a hand across her brow, wiping away moisture that she
could ill afford to lose.  "Hopefully before I drop from heat
exhaustion."  She gazed dourly at the expanse of sand around them.
"What I wouldn't give for just a small rainstorm..."

It was at that moment that the holodeck program shifted again.
Without warning, the binary suns flared brightly...and vanished, the
dunes transforming into thick tropical undergrowth...and the skies
opened up.  A blinding torrential rain cascaded down upon them both.

For a startled moment neither Janeway nor Chakotay spoke. Then, as
one, they ducked under the nearest tree, taking what shelter they
could find beneath its distant canopy. It wasn't much.

They were in a jungle.  Thick undergrowth covered  the ground while,
high overhead, distant leaves shuddered in the downpour.  Despite the
rain, the air was still warm and smelled of decomposing foliage.  A
deep, green-tinted gloom had replaced the blinding glare of Deneb
Prime.

Another wave of water hit them, and unconsciously they moved closer
together, holding each other tightly against the deluge.  The rain had
become so thick they could barely see.  Janeway shivered slightly,
blinking water out of her eyes.  How had she ended up here, she
wondered randomly, clinging to her half-naked First Officer?  This
situation was adding new meaning to the word "irony"...

"Kathryn."  He practically had to shout in her ear to be heard over
the tempest.

"What?"

"Have you noticed that everytime you ask for something, the holodeck
complies...dramatically."

He was right.  When she had been soaking wet, she had asked aloud to
be dry...and the ship's computer had produced a desert.  Now she had
wanted a little rain...and now they were in a raging tropical storm.
It was a good thing she hadn't asked for a fire -- they probably would
have found themselves in Dante's Inferno...Janeway braced herself a
little more firmly against the tree, but did not relinquish her grasp
on her First Officer.  "I want to get out of the holodeck," she said,
projecting her voice firmly over the storm.  "I want to go back to
Voyager...I want the rain to stop..."  Nothing happened.

"Try clicking your heels together three times and saying 'there's no
place like home'".

The look she gave him lost some of its force due to the bedraggled
state of her hair and the water dripping from it into her eyes, but it
sufficed.  "That isn't very useful, Commander."

He opened his mouth to reply, then abruptly tightened his grip around
her shoulders and without hesitation flung her to the ground, throwing
his body over hers.

Thoughts of insanity, followed closely by mutiny, flickered through
Janeway's mind.  Then Chakotay shifted slightly and she could see past
his shoulder...to the spot where they had been standing only moments
ago...and the immense bough that had crashed to the ground.  Janeway
swallowed deeply as reaction and relief poured through her. They could
have been killed...

"I guess we can say with some degree of certainty that the holodeck
safety protocols are not functioning properly..."  She was babbling,
but she couldn't seem to help herself.  The nearness of their escape,
coupled with the strength of the storm had left her trembling like a
leaf.  And Chakotay knew it.  He could hardly help it, given that he
was still sprawled on top of her.

Janeway abruptly stilled.  This was the second time today she had
found herself lying underneath her First Officer. Her breath caught in
her throat as his gaze met hers, rainwater pouring over them both.
She could feel the heat of his body through their soaked clothing,
feel the beat of his heart against hers, his breath against her cheek.
They might as well have been naked...

Janeway opened her mouth to speak, though not at all sure what she was
going to say.  Blinding need was pouring through her with a force that
rivalled the storm.  "This is...insane," she thought wildly, "we're
trapped on the holodeck, we could be killed at any moment, and all I
can think about is...  Chakotay."  She swallowed deeply.  He was
staring into her eyes, his face reflecting the same emotions she felt
sure was blazing on hers, his weight pressing her into the wet ground.
It would take so little -- one word, one move...even a hint of
invitation in her eyes, and...

A faint sound intruded. With an effort she managed to wrench her eyes
away from the brown ones so close to hers, and glanced to the
side...in time to see the heavy log swinging low on a rope, coming
directly toward them.

"Hell!"  Janeway instantly shifted her grip on her First Officer,
levered one leg beneath her...and rolled, dragging him with her.

It almost worked.  They were almost clear of the log's path when her
momentum ran out.  There was a moment of blinding agony as something
hit her high on the right hip and then her leg went numb.  They
continued rolling together, driven now by Chakotay's strength...and
then they were safe, the log whistling by above them.  They both
ducked as it arced back along its path and vanished into the
undergrowth.

Janeway found herself lying once more beneath her First Officer but
all thoughts of impropriety had vanished from her mind.  She was too
busy trying to cope with the sudden onslaught of pain shooting along
her hip.  Chakotay levered himself up, keeping an eye on the foliage
in case the log should a reappear.  He leaned over her worriedly.

"Kathryn?"

"I'm all right."  'Liar', her subconscious screamed at her.  She
wasn't all right.  It hurt like hell and, for a moment, she was afraid
to move.  Then she realized that Chakotay was running his hands over
her, but not in the manner she had considered only moments ago.  Now
he was clinically checking for injuries.  His hand reached her hip and
she stifled a yelp.

"No you're not."  The concern in his face had changed to fear.  Fear
for her.  "You're hurt.  We've got to get you to sickbay."  His hands
were shaking slightly, she noticed distantly.

"I'm fine.  Really."  Gasping for breath, she pulled herself into a
sitting position, ready to duck at any moment should more unseen traps
strike them.  "I'm just bruised.  I only need a few minutes.  Really."
She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

Chakotay wanted to strangle her.  She was lying to him. It was obvious
that she was in acute pain -- her face had paled beneath the faint
sunburn and shock was glazing her eyes.  He glanced again at the
nearby plant life.  She could have been killed.  If that log had hit
anywhere else... "Why did you do that?"  An undercurrent of anger
laced his words and it was taking all his willpower not to seize her
by the shoulders and... He fought to regain control of his emotions.

"Do what?"  Pain coloured her voice as she clutched her hip with her
right hand.  She shifted slightly, trying to determine the extent of
her injuries.

Chakotay gritted his teeth.  "Throw yourself in that log's path," he
answered.

She shot him a look, his tone finally beginning to register.  A thin
thread of ire went through her in turn. "I did not 'throw myself in
that log's path'.  I got *you* out of it!"  She shrugged free of his
hands and concentrated on getting her feet under her, biting her lip
at the pain when she moved.

"That blow was meant for me.  If you hadn't rolled like that..."

"It would have hit you on the side of the head and I'd be minus one
First Officer."

His fists clenched.  "You've got to stop taking risks like this..."

"Oh fine," she growled, her temper now thoroughly lost. "Next time
I'll let it take your head off.  Satisfied?  Now either help me up or
go away and let me do this in peace." Her gaze clashed with his for a
long moment then finally he stood and silently reached a hand out.
She took it and slowly clambered to her feet, balancing most of her
weight on her left leg.

He was quick to release her hand, she noticed.  What was rong with
him?  She'd never seen Chakotay so...furious. For a moment his legend
of the angry warrior came back to er, and now she could quite believe
it.  This man could e...dangerous.  Unfortunately Janeway didn't
respond very well to danger signs.  The impulse to indulge in an
all-out fight with him was so strong she could almost taste it.
Logically she knew that both of their responses were due to the
nearness of their escape and the shared stress they had endured in the
last few hours...not to mention the sheer blazing sexual tension that
had stormed through them mere moments ago, but still...

"No, Kathryn," she thought to herself, "he's concerned. That's why
he's acting like this."  She drew a deep breath. "Thank you," she
managed to say in a relatively calm voice.

Chakotay was visibly struggling with himself.  "You're welcome.  How
is your hip?"  His voice was terse but the ominous undercurrents were
gone.

She took an experimental pace forward, limping heavily. It hurt, but
not quite so badly now.  Or perhaps she was getting used to the pain.
"I told you.  It's just bruised. I'll be fine."

He narrowed his gaze but did not respond.  Instead, he said:  "I know
where we are."

Janeway blinked slightly.  "Where?"

"One of B'Elanna's survival programs."

"B'Elanna?"  A sense of foreboding filled her.  "What kind of survival
program?"

"A very...Klingon...survival program.  If you wanted to hone your
skills, this is the place.  And it's going to be twice as difficult
now that you're injured."

She narrowed her eyes.  "Well, I'll try not to slow you down *too
much*, Commander," she said menacingly.

Chakotay opened his mouth to reply, thought better of it, then turned
to survey their surroundings.  Above them, the torrential rains were
beginning to slow slightly.  Finally he glanced back at her.  "Which
way...Captain?"  Their gazes clashed.

"Left."  Her voice was clipped.  Resolutely ignoring him, she turned
and limped away down the narrow path.  Chakotay paused for a long
moment then followed, his face an expressionless mask.

---

It was difficult to keep her fury blazing away inside her when all of
her strength was going towards fighting her way through this jungle,
Janeway quickly discovered.  The pain in her hip had ebbed somewhat
but she still limped heavily.  The unevenness of the ground didn't
help -- several times she had had to catch herself against a tree when
her foot had snagged on a snarled vine or exposed root.

At least the rain had stopped.  Unfortunately though, great clouds of
insects had emerged the instant the downpour stopped and launched an
all-out attack on both of them.  After the first few minutes of
beating herself silly trying to keep them away, Janeway had given in
to the inevitable and was steadfastly ignoring them...the same way she
was ignoring her second in command.

Chakotay hadn't spoken a word but had silently brushed past her
moments after she had stormed away and was now doing his best to clear
a path for them through the thick jungle.  Of course, without any
tools or equipment, it wasn't easy.  "My kingdom for a machete,"
Janeway thought wistfully.  Although, given the current precarious
state of her emotions, she wasn't sure if she would use it on the
plant life or on her First Officer...

Anger still simmered within her.  His belief that she had
unnecessarily thrown herself into danger, and even worse, his
implication that she was now a hindrance sent her anger soaring each
time she thought of it.  What gave him the right to...?  No.  It had
been his fear and concern speaking.  He hadn't meant it...

Lost in thought, Janeway didn't notice the root curling along the
jungle floor.  It hooked around her ankle and without warning she
crashed to her knees.  Hard.  Great. Just what she needed -- more
bruises...  For a moment she paused, unable to move as the pain in her
hip reached new heights and her vision blurred.

When it cleared, Chakotay was crouching in front of her. "Are you all
right?"  It was the first time he had spoken since their argument...
She met his eyes.

"I'm fine," she said coolly, "and I am *not* slowing you down..."
Tossing back a bedraggled lock of red hair that had fallen into her
eyes, she clumsily climbed back to her feet.

It was at that moment that movement swirled on the edge of her vision.
Unhesitatingly she leapt at her First Officer, throwing him
unceremoniously to the ground.  As she did, a sharpened stake flew
overhead, burying itself in a nearby tree with a dull thud.  It's
metre-long shaft quivered for an instant, then stilled.

Janeway took a deep breath then looked down at Chakotay.  Oops.  That
was a mistake.  If he had been angry before, now he was overwhelmingly
so.  Seizing her by the shoulders, he surged to his feet, pulling her
with him, then promptly dove for cover, off the path.  Janeway ducked,
wincing as a large frond slapped her in the face.  She tried to slow
their headlong flight but he had her wrist in a iron grip and she
couldn't get enough leverage to dig her feet in and force him to a
halt.  And then the sounds of more stakes whistled through the jungle
behind them and suddenly she didn't want to.

Finally, when she was breathless and exhausted, Chakotay came to a
sudden halt beside a steep precipice and turned, her wrist still
encased in his hand.  In one smooth movement, he released her only to
seize her by the upper arms.  Hard.  "Stop doing that!"  It wasn't
quite a shout, but it was the closest to it she had ever heard from
him.

"Stop what?!"

His fingers tightened.  "Stop putting yourself in danger for me.  I
can take care of myself!"

That did it.  Janeway's tenuous hold on her fraying temper finally
dissolved altogether.     "Well that certainly hasn't been very
evident lately.  If I hadn't 'put myself in danger for you', you'd
still have Eidolon as a permanent resident!  You certainly weren't
doing a very good job of taking care of yourself when..."

Raw emotion blazed up in his eyes and his grip tightened yet further.
Janeway swallowed, wondering if she had finally driven him to
violence.  He opened his mouth to speak...and at that moment the
ground crumbled beneath them.  As one they toppled over the edge of
the precipice.

It was a mudslide.  The rains had obviously eroded the cliff-face to
the extent that their weight had been enough to trigger the slide.
Janeway found herself plunging at frightening speeds down a steep
curving path, leaves and fronds whipping at her as she sailed by.
Behind her, she could hear Chakotay's descent but could spare no
thought for him.  Instead she concentrated on trying to stay on her
back and slow her progress as much as possible.

She wasn't doing too badly.  So far, she had managed to keep her
descent relatively controlled.  And then, in a fast-moving blur, a
large boulder appeared ahead...directly in her path.  She had only an
instant to act...and did so, by flinging herself into a shoulder roll,
desperately trying to change directions.  It worked.  Sort of.
Janeway missed the boulder by inches...but found herself falling
completely out of control.  There was a terrifying moment of blurred
mud and tropical plants and then she reached the bottom with a
bone-jarring thud -- and found herself once more submerged in water.
She had only enough time to sit up in the waist-deep pool of mud and
water, shaking her head once to clear her eyes...when Chakotay's body
came catapulting toward her.

Janeway ducked.  It didn't help.  Like a photon torpedo locked on
target, he flew straight toward her, plowing to a uncoordinated
halt...right on top of her.  For the third time that day, Janeway
found herself pinned beneath her First Officer's weight.  This was
becoming ridiculous...

At least he wasn't dead or unconscious.  He immediately opened his
eyes and tried to sit back up, his face half-hidden by mud and water.
One hand slipped and once more his full weight pressed her down.
Janeway tried to wriggle aside, resolutely ignoring the fact that this
was coming precariously close to mud-wrestling.  Besides, she didn't
have time to be embarrassed.  She was still infuriated with the man...
"At least you can't blame all this on me this time," she said as she
finally managed to half-slide out from under him.  "Unless you think I
pushed you down that cliff to save your life again..."

Incredulity lit his face...what she could see of it and then it was
replaced by another emotion entirely.  With the speed of a striking
snake he reached out and seized her by the arms once more, holding her
in an unbreakable grip. "Damn you, Kathryn," he managed to say before
he pulled her to him.

When his lips came down on hers with bruising force, Janeway stiffened
in shock...and something else.  She opened her mouth to protest...at
least she thought she was going to protest...and then his hand moved
up to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer, and the kiss
changed subtly.  He still held her tightly, his arms imprisoning her
own against his chest, but his lips slowly softened, moving across her
mouth in a sensuous exploration.  She gasped as his tongue roamed
freely, tracing the line of her lips until she found herself
responding hungrily, drowning in the sensations.  And then his tongue
met hers and Janeway's self-control vanished like dust on the wind.
Somehow she found herself kissing him back, one hand going up to pull
him even closer, the other moving past his open tunic to caress his
bare chest.  His hand went up to cover her own and she quivered.

Chakotay was no longer in control of his emotions.  The combined
stresses of fear, concern, anger, and...everything else...had finally
eroded his composure to the point where logic and decorum had been
completely lost.  All he knew was that he could have lost this
woman... Despair, desire, fear, and a thousand other unnamed emotions
welled up within him even as he pulled her closer, tilting her head
back as he ravaged the depths of her mouth, running his hands freely
over her body.

"I should stop this," Janeway thought muzzily.  Then he broke the kiss
enough to whisper her name, his voice hoarse with need...and all
thought fled.  She pulled him back down to her, her lips meeting his
and their legs entwining.  She could feel every inch of him pressing
tightly to her, could feel desire throbbing through them both.  And
then there was nothing but sensation and need...

Neither of them noticed that the cliff and the pool of muddy water had
vanished or heard the faint sounds around them...until a female voice
close beside them said:  "Lei?"

Both Janeway and Chakotay jumped apart, wrenching their mouths away
from each other, their hearts hammering in shock...and the Polynesian
girl in the red sarong smiled cheerfully at them, holding out a
garland of pink tropical flowers.  More holodeck characters passed by
in the distance while the faint lapping of water in the nearby pool
was echoed by the music in the air.  Janeway and Chakotay blinked in
astonishment

Chakotay suddenly felt eyes upon him and looked up...to the
alternately stunned/amused/surprised gazes of Tom Paris, Harry Kim,
and B'Elanna Torres standing in the still-open doorway.  They were
dressed in sarongs and beach wear, holding coconuts with straws in
them, and were obviously prepared for a few hours on what Chakotay had
privately dubbed "the hula-deck."

At that moment he also realized he was lying full-lengthon the floor
on top of his Captain in a *very* compromising position, and that both
of them were muddy, bruised, and definitely looking the worse for
wear.  Beneath him, Janeway twisted, sensing that they were no longer
alone. She tilted her head, getting an upside-down view of the three
newcomers...and winced.  Immediately, she began to untangle herself
from her First Officer.

It was not easy.  Somehow she had managed to wrap one leg and both
arms around the man and that, plus the fact that her bruised hip was
beginning to stiffen up, made moving difficult.  Sensing her
difficulties, Chakotay climbed to his feet quickly and gracefully,
pulling her up with him then releasing her immediately.  She didn't
look at him.  She didn't especially want to look at the others either.
Diving for the nearest cover was the most appealing option right now.
Janeway took a deep breath and stiffened her shoulders.

"Starfleet Captains do not hide under tables," she told herself
firmly, a little surprised that she could still think after the
intensity of the kiss..."No.  Don't think about that.  Just get out of
here...fall back and retreat..."

"Er...Good workout, Captain?"  Paris was the first to speak.  From
either side, Torres and Kim simultaneously elbowed him hard in the
ribs and he winced, sloshing his coconut drink slightly.  Chakotay
stiffened and took a half-step forward.  Imperceptibly Janeway edged
into his path and he stopped, still bristling.

"There's been a problem with the holodeck.  Various programs seem to
be merging and the computer is not responding to voice commands."
Janeway was vaguely surprised that her voice sounded firm and calm.
She continued.  "I want these problems fixed before anyone else uses
it, Lieutenant.  Understood?"  She fixed a stern eye on Torres who had
to swallow once or twice before her voice worked properly.

"Yes...Captain.  I'll...see to it right away."

Nobody moved.  The tension level soared.  Finally Janeway nodded and
stepped past them in a dignified manner.  Or as dignified as she could
manage given that she was soaking wet, covered in mud, her hair was
tangled, and she had just been caught in a torrid embrace with her
half-naked, similarly bedraggled First Officer.  Cringing inwardly,
she limped past them, ignoring the gazes of the three officers,
flanked closely by Chakotay who likewise said nothing. Gritting her
teeth, Janeway said over her shoulder:  "I want that report on my desk
by oh-six-hundred, Lieutenant." She did not wait for a reply.
Together, she and Chakotay exited the holodeck.


Once outside, Janeway stopped.  She didn't stop by choice but by
necessity.  Her hip had stiffened to the point that she was fairly
sure that she would fall over if she took another step.  As if sensing
her difficulty, Chakotay took her arm, lightly steadying her.

It was no good.  She was going to have to look at him. She did...and
immediately felt the blood rushing to her face.  She was certain she
was turning the same colour as her hair.

For his part, Chakotay didn't look much better off. Almost every inch
of him was covered in mud, there was a long scratch across his
forehead and his tunic hung open to the waist.  And he looked equally
uncomfortable.  The silence hung between them like knifepoints.

"Chakotay..."

"Kathryn..."

They both spoke at once then fell silent.  A passing crewman gave them
a quick glance then stopped dead, his mouth open in astonishment.  At
their dual frown, he hurriedly resumed his pace, staring incredulously
over his shoulder at them as he walked away.  Janeway stiffened and
glanced down at herself.  If anything, she looked even worse than
Chakotay.  Mud covered her from head to toe, half the jungle seemed to
be caught in her tangled hair, and there were a couple of rips in her
clothing that stopped just short of indecency.  The urge to dive for
cover increased.  She straightened her shoulders.  "Chakotay...
Whatever we need to say to each other, I suggest it wait until later."

He looked as if he were about to argue then glanced down the corridor
where other crewmembers were beginning to run into each other as those
in front caught sight of their Captain and First Officer.  "We are
attracting a lot of attention, Captain.  And you need to have the
Doctor check your injuries."

"After I've had a shower."

"Captain..."

"AFTER I've had a shower."  Her tone permitted no argument.  With a
faint sigh, Chakotay tightened his grip on her arm, giving her some
much-needed support.  Together they set off down the corridor, leaning
on each other slightly.  The crew parted silently as they passed.

---

END OF "THE WRAITHS TRILOGY TWO: SURVIVAL INSTINCT"
CONTINUED IN "THE WRAITHS TRILOGY THREE: FULL CIRCLE"