The BLTS Archive- Like the Northern Lights
by august (appelsini@hotmail.com)

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With gratitude to Boadicea, who keeps me in the present tense.

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She takes me to the holodeck.

We had been working in the messhall the night before. I had mentioned
something about the Kolyan Kolyar and she had remembered. I think she
had felt bad about declining my later invitation of a drink, even 
though we both knew she never could have accepted.

She had approached me after dinner, and said she had something to show
me. Ten minutes later we were standing on the holodeck, looking at a
programme she called the Northern Lights.

She had been right, they did look a lot like the Kolyan Kolyar.

"This technology is unbelievable, Kathryn."

"Yes. It becomes hard to imagine how crews without holodecks make it
through their voyages."

I laugh. "And is there anything that it can't produce?"

"It can produce you, Kashyk." She laughs. I must have a quizzical look
on my face, because she ends the programme and leaves us standing in a
blinking yellow grid. "Computer, create holographic image of Inspector
Kashyk.

And layer by layer before my eyes, he is created.

"He just stands there." I remark, looking critically of this mirror of
myself.

"Well this is just computer imagery, Kashyk. Subroutines have to be
added, and then personality profiles matched."

"Make him talk."

"Computer, add personality subroutines omega-one, beta-five and
alpha-eighteen." She stops and looks at me for a moment. "Add omega
eighty-four."

There is a tiny beep as the computer collates the information. Then
the holographic looks straight at me. "Inspector."

"Not any more."

She ignores my words and keeps talking. "Then of course you can add
specific programmes, if you want to use a hologramme specifically for,
say, tactical training." She says.

"Add it."

"Computer, install intermediate hand combat subroutines."

As soon as I hear the beep, I lunge for the hologramme. It spars with
me, easily.

"Impressive." I say, turning to Janeway.

"You've seen our doctor. That's the full extent of adaptive
programming."

"Certainly. Your doctor has remarked on several occasions about his
active social life."

She grins. "As I said, it is a fully adaptive programming."

I walk over to the Kashyk. I circle him. It is almost like looking in
a mirror, except that a mirror has never followed my gaze with such
intent.

"And he can do ...anything?"

"Anything." She smiles. "It would be naive to think that the
popularity of holodecks had anything to do with their tactical 
training abilities. People like to indulge sometimes."

"Have you ever... indulged?" I ask.

There are a few moments before she answers. "I'd be lying if I said
no."

"In the Delta Quadrant, I don't image that you meet many prospective
mates."

"I don't imagine that I'm looking for many prospective mates." She
volleys quickly.

"Touche." I smile. "So the holodeck has it's advantages."

"Yes." She says, looking around. "It does."

"There are favorites?"

"Yes, of course."

"May I see yours?" I walk a little closer to her.

"There is a programme from a city in the Alpha Quadrant, Risa. It's
quite popular with the crew."

"I don't want to see what is popular with the crew, Kathryn. I want to
see your programmes."

"Planning to be a witness for that board of Admirals, Kashyk?" She
uses the opportunity to move back from me, a little. The conversation 
is taking on a farcical tone - she moves so quickly and with such a 
smile that I have no idea whether she is going to burst out in 
laughter the next moment.

"Never."

"Because you know, of course, that use of the holodeck for sexual
encounters is specifically against Starfleet Regulations."

I take a step towards her. "What a strange culture you have,
KathrynJaneway. I mentioned before: so many contradictions. Science
and faith. Beauty and violence. Technology like this, and the 
inability to use it."

"You said you found it harmonious."

"Do you?" I ask her.

"It's hard to make those judgments when you're living it, I think."
She turns to look at me. "And anyway, what violence have you seen 
here?"

"Only in your data banks, Kathryn. Only in your data banks."

She nods a little, as if I've given the correct answer. We stand in
silence.

"Will you show me your programmes?" I ask, again.

She stares at me a little, and I can just see her weighing the
consequences in her mind. Then she speaks. "Computer, activate Janeway
two. Authorisation Janeway beta-zero-zero-one."

The holodeck shimmers around me. I am surrounded by a white. In front
of me is a large bed.

"This is it?" I look around. White as far as the eye could see.

"I have no pretensions about what I come here for."

"Of course not." I walk over to bed. I can't help but smile when I saw
the leather bindings attached to each post. "Kathryn, I never imagined 
you as the dominatrix!"

She follows me over to the bed, standing on the other side. "I'm not."

I smile again, wider. "Ah. I see."

"Do you?" She moves around and comes so close to me that I can hear
her breathing.

I don't turn to look at her, don't move. My voice is low and serious
when I ask, "my only question, Kathryn, is why when you have this 
fabulous technology at your hands, are you satisfied with such 
ordinary things?" I flick at the leather bindings.

"What did you have in mind, Inspector?" She asks. I notice the use of
my
title.

I am interested in seeing just how adaptive this programming is.
"Computer, reactivate the Kashyk hologramme."

The expression on her face at my words is nothing compared to when my
-- his -- arms slide around her stomach. He pulls her to him until her
back is against his chest. Surprising me, she leans over her shoulder 
and kisses him, full on the mouth. My god, it is erotic.

She goes to turn around to face him, but the hologramme keeps his grip
firmly on her waist. Almost as if he has read my mind.

"Impressive." She murmurs, mocking my tone. "It would suddenly appear,
Kashyk, that I need some help."

It takes me about three seconds to get to her. She kisses me. God, she
could kiss. I am hard immediately, and I have been told I am a man of
quite peculiar tastes.

Her skin is warm - they both are. Kathryn Janeway and the holograph
holding her, kissing the back of her neck. I have to stand back a
little as she presses back into him. He is using hands that I 
recognised as mine on her breasts. They are my hands between her 
thighs, and I am watching it all.

I had asked her last night, mostly in jest, if she had liked me better
in uniform. I decide, watching her now, that I definitely like her in
what is left of hers.

She makes small, incomprehensible noises as she comes. Her legs seem
to buckle underneath her and it is only his arm around her stomach 
that keeps her up. Moments later, she lifts her head and looks at me 
through heavy eyelids.

"Are you just going to watch me all night, like an animal?"

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

"I thought you just did."

"I don't think, Kathryn, that I would be content with just using my
hands."

She doesn't reply, just groans a little as his hands find their way
through the top of her pants again.

"Then come over here and show me. Computer." She calls out. "Delete-"

"-No." I stop her, meeting her at the side of the bed. Her hands are
on me before I can speak again. "Leave him."

She gives me that quick look again; the calculating assessing gaze.
And then she smiles. "Well then, let's do it properly, shall we?
Computer,disengage safety protocols on holodeck one and engage
security locks. Authorisation Janeway beta-zero-zero-one."

"What does that mean?" I ask, watching her loosen my pants.

"It means we're playing for keeps." She says, throwing her pants to
the floor.

"It means you have to trust me." I murmur, almost to myself.

"Yes." She smiles, a little, and sits back on the bed.

"Do you trust me?" I repeat the words that I had first said on her
bridge.

"Not for a second."

She excites me.

I am not used to the frailty of humans. My fingers leave red marks on
her skin; I wonder momentarily why she does not cry out. I catch a 
look of her face, and god she excites me. Wild, like an animal. I nod 
over my head tothe hologramme; he slides behind her. She is sandwiched 
between us -- between me. He leans over her and she tips her head back 
to meet his lips from above. Her neck arches; strains against the 
skin. It's pale and I see the muscles moving under her skin. I want to 
taste it, to taste her. I want to wrap my fingers around it, but I 
can't bear the thought of not being able to see it.

I lean over her, over them, my hands parting thighs but then looking
down and seeing my hands holding hers to the bed. She lurches her hips 
to meet mine, and behind me the holograph grunts a little. It takes me 
a few moments to realise that she isn't lurching to meet me, but he is
pushing her forward. I scramble out of the way.

"Hands and knees." He says to her, and I realise it is the first time
I have heard him speak. The hands he use look strange on her arse - 
dark and large -- I wonder if this is how I always look. She begins to 
rock, slowly. He is careful with her, more careful than I would have 
been and I suspect that is  Federation technology kicking in. She 
looks at me again, motions me towards her. She takes me in her mouth, 
as he takes her from behind. When the pain comes, her teeth graze me. 
For the sake of my future children, I almost call the computer for 
lubricant.

When I come, I can feel her gag a little. The hologram comes with a
little less restraint. His fingernails draw blood on her hips. It 
pushes her over the edge, and she climaxes exquisitely before my eyes.

I am hard again.

"I need to sit up." She says, when she can. The hologramme moves off
her, and she is upright in the bed. I kneel between her legs. My 
duplicate is behind her, holding her arms. Her chest is rising and 
falling quickly. She doesn't look me in the eye, but her neck is 
craned again. I move slowly over her, running my hand along her side. 
It's a kind of perverse curiosity, I guess, the hologram she has made 
of me is not gentle. Part of  me wants to know why that is, but most 
of me doesn't care.

"Not like this." She says, after a few moments.

"Like what?"

"Not this softly." She says simply.

So I bruise her skin. I move with force that I would be hesitant to
use ona Devoran. She writhes against me, she pulls against the 
holograms grip. There was something so sublime about being able to 
fuck her, and watching me fuck her. About holding her down, and moving 
within her. She breaths in measured breaths through her nose. She 
clenches at me. She is amazing. It's hard and fast, and when I come my 
eyes are drawn to the hologram, and to her.

It takes me a long time to steady my breath, much longer than usual.
She deactivates the hologramme, and then rolls away from me. I lie on 
my back, looking up into the white background of the holodeck.

I speak because the silence is unsettling. "I never would have thought
that a viewing of the Northern Lights would entail so much exercise."

"Just think Kashyk, if it were not for the Kolyan Kolyar, you never
would have had me."

"I feel as if I've had you under false pretenses."

"How so?" She rolls to face me.

"I was lying about the Kolyan Kolyar. I won't miss them. I think that
last night in your room was the first time I'd ever really looked at 
them."

"I know."

"You know?"

"You don't become a Starfleet Captain by believing every story that
comes out of a beautiful mouth, Kashyk." She got out of bed, to pick 
up her clothes.

"No." I got up a little slower, thrown by her words. "No, I don't
suppose you do."

What else had she not believed?

We dress slowly. I pass her her socks, and she bends her knees to put
them on. On the inside of her knee there is a purple mark. I reach
over and touch it.

"Is this okay?" I ask.

"Yes." She says. "Something to remember you by."

She smiles at me, quite wistfully. I realise then that she knows I
will not stay, that she has probably always known. She leaves me
sitting on this holodeck, surrounded by a white expanse as far as the
eye can see.

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The End