The BLTS Archive - Vulcans Don't Lie
by Ariana (ariana@astele.co.uk)

---

Author's Note: Wow, my first Trek story in 10 years, and my
first fanfic in over 5 years. Big thanks to Sahviere for
helping me dust off my writing skills now that the plot
bunnies are multiplying.

Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe is the copyrighted
property of Paramount, and borrowed solely for the use of
this story.

Do not distribute without the present header and the
author's written permission.

Archive: Yes.

Feedback: Yes.

---

It all started when Kirk decided to run hand to hand combat
classes for the bridge crew. This mainly consisted of him
prancing about in the gym, challenging people to fight him,
then pretending that it was all about teaching them a lesson
and not him showing off.

"Remind me again why Starfleet made this dickhead captain,"
muttered Uhura, sidling up to Spock.

"Because Admiral Pike told them to," said Spock simply. "And
he does have some intriguing qualities."

Uhura slid her hand into his and was surprised to sense that
the Vulcan was aroused. For all his Vulcan upbringing, Spock
was no good at hiding his feelings when they touched hands,
which paradoxically made him the easiest to understand out
of all the men she'd ever been with.

But Uhura immediately realised that the desire flapping
about in his busy mind was not, for once, related to her.
Following his gaze, she realised with amazement that Spock
was looking at Kirk, who had just taken his shirt off,
apparently for the sole purpose of showing off the Southern
California tan he somehow maintained in deep space. Stunned,
Uhura let Spock's desire for Kirk fizzle about in her brain
for a moment before letting go of his hand.

"Since when do you have the hots for Captain Kirk?" Uhura
asked Spock a few hours later.

They had just completed their routine round of pleasant,
albeit rather mundane, lovemaking; Spock lifted his head
from the pillow and looked at her in surprise. Or rather
looked at her the way he normally looked at her, except one
eyebrow was slightly raised.

"The 'hots'? Vulcans do not get the hots."

"Right. I also thought Vulcans didn't lie."

Uhura was torn between smacking him upside the head and
playing the understanding girlfriend. On the whole, Spock
was the best boyfriend she had ever had, so although she was
sorely tempted to commit physical violence on him for daring
to look at anyone else with desire, Uhura stroked his face
and put on an expression of saintly understanding.

"I know you now," she said. "As Vulcans go, you've got to be
the worst at controlling your telepathic thingy. I can tell
when something turns you on. Like Kirk with his shirt off."

Spock tilted his head to one side for a moment and Uhura
suddenly realised that he wasn't going to deny it, and this
was not a conversation she wanted to have after all.

"Never mi--" she started.

"I will admit that I find him attractive," interrupted Spock
calmly, as if he were commenting on something obvious like
the darkness of space or the fact that the transporter room
was too damn far away from the bridge.

"Great. I bag the only Vulcan in Starfleet and he turns out
to be gay."

"I am not the only Vulcan in Starfleet, and your second
pronouncement is equally untrue. I do not seek relationships
with other males." Spock looked thoughtful. "I am merely.
intrigued by Captain Kirk. But it is not a matter I intend
to pursue. I believe this is as far as we need to go with
this conversation."

Uhura had her doubts about his declaration, but the subject
of her boyfriend's unexpected attraction to Kirk was pushed
to the back of her mind for the next few weeks. The
Enterprise's next mission sorely tested the crew, not least
because Kirk decided that the best way to resolve the
dispute at hand was to beam himself right into the middle of
it.

Spock was left in charge of the ship for several hours,
during which their idiot captain got captured and beaten up
before somehow escaping and convincing both parties to come
to their senses. Uhura was beginning to think that Starfleet
had promoted Kirk purely to get him away from Earth, given
his total disregard for any rules, and his irritating habit
of getting away with it.

When the captain finally beamed back late in the night
shift, after basking in the glory of the planet's accolades
two hours longer than was strictly necessary, an irate Spock
left the bridge to greet him in the transporter room. The
Vulcan had a murderous glint in his eye, not unlike the look
that had preceded his attempt to throttle Kirk during their
first adventure together.

As Uhura had nothing better to do at this late hour with
Spock unavailable for sex, she handed her station over to
her night-shift replacement, and headed for the transporter
room after him. Not too close behind, as she wanted Spock to
get in a couple of good punches before she interrupted the
fight that would no doubt erupt once the first officer had
found his wayward captain.

Kirk and Spock were indeed having an argument when Uhura
arrived, and whoever had beamed the captain aboard had
decided that discretion was the better part of valour and
scampered off, leaving the door open. Uhura decided not to
interrupt after all - punches had not yet been thrown, and
she was hoping Spock would finally tell their idiot captain
a few home truths. However, she decided to stay, in case
Spock needed an eyewitness to explain why he had murdered
their captain after the considerable provocation of several
weeks in his company.

Neither man appeared to notice her arrival, so Uhura slipped
into the room, and stood in the corner behind the
transportation console, where she would not be immediately
visible to them thanks to the lights reflected on the
transparent aluminium screen. She was looking forward to
seeing how things went before making her presence known.

"As you well know, captain, Starfleet regulations require a
captain to remain on board his ship. The purpose is to
prevent him from transporting into danger and leaving his
ship bereft of its commanding officer."

Kirk shrugged. "Oh, c'mon, Spock, captains do it all the
time."

"Indeed," said Spock, raising one eyebrow. "And you base
that statement on your considerable experience of service
aboard starships, no doubt. You nearly got yourself killed!"

"Spock, I didn't know you cared," said Kirk with a smirk,
turning away.

Although his face seemed impassive, Uhura could tell that
Spock was furious. He grabbed Kirk's arm.

"You still refuse to see the seriousness of the situation
you placed us in!"

"Look, I know you don't like taking command but--"

Had someone asked her to bet on the outcome of the exchange,
Uhura would have placed a wager on Spock punching Kirk as he
deserved. But she would have lost. Spock kissed him instead.

The sight made Uhura's head spin.

"Wow, I guess you do care," said Kirk when Spock stepped
back.

Uhura could tell that Spock was struggling to hide his alarm
at what he had just done. She was feeling considerable alarm
herself, and although her natural instinct would have been
to go and console Spock when he looked so dejected, the fact
that she had just seen him kiss their commanding officer
kept her rooted to the spot.

Spock half turned in her direction, and Uhura ducked down
behind the transporter console, though she was unable to
resist peering over the top to see what would happen next.

"I didn't know there were any gay Vulcans," continued Kirk,
who on the whole, looked rather pleased.

"There aren't," said Spock, his composure recovered. "And I
am not. I am in love with Lieutenant Uhura."

Uhura smiled tenderly at his declaration - though she would
have preferred him to tell *her*, in private, and not blurt
it out after he had just kissed Kirk, of all people.

In typical fashion, Kirk seemed to see the whole incident as
further fodder for his ego.

"So you're just gay for me? I'm flattered."

"Yes, I'm sure you are. I think it would be best to leave
things at that."

Spock headed toward the exit, bearing what Uhura privately
thought of as his 'Oh my god' stance; shoulders hunched,
head bowed as if he was about to head-butt someone. He
didn't take more than a couple of steps before Kirk grabbed
him and pulled him back, a confident smirk on his smartass
face.

Spock immediately turned towards him -- far too eagerly for
Uhura's liking -- and made no effort to stop Kirk from
kissing him. This time, it was a full-on grownup kiss, with
tongues and everything. Uhura didn't know whether to feel
nauseous or extremely aroused.

Spock pulled away slightly, but allowed Kirk to hold him by
the waist.

"On the topic of sexual orientation," said Spock, his voice
even, though his face was flushed, "You do not appear to
have any objection either."

Kirk pressed closer to Spock. "I make it a rule never to
turn down offers of sex. Besides, all that stuff on the
planet has made me horny as hell."

"If you enjoy being beaten up," said Spock sardonically,
though his hands were pulling at Kirk's clothes, "I am sure
that can be arranged."

"Shut up, you're turning me on," said Kirk with amusement as
he helped Spock pull off his tunic and undershirt.

Spock was quick to follow suit, and Uhura was momentarily
dazzled by the sight of the two bare-chested men embracing
each other. This was not something she had ever expected to
see, or indeed imagined that she wanted to see. But even
Kirk was starting to look pretty good with Spock's pale
hands rubbing his back.

The men turned, and it was now Spock's back she could see,
Kirk's large hands exploring the lean muscles on either side
of his spine. Uhura thought that too little was ever said
about how beautiful a man's back could be; she had often
watched Spock's naked back as he dressed in the morning,
admiring its understated strength, the simple, masculine
lines leading to the curve of his buttocks beneath.

But Kirk was the one enjoying that back, pressing his body
against her lover, cupping his buttocks, slipping one hand
down the back of his trousers. Uhura's mouth went completely
dry as her over-stimulated brain offered several suggestions
as to what Kirk's hand was doing down the back of Spock's
trousers, none of which seemed quite as disgusting to her at
this point as they normally should.

"I do not think penetration--" started Spock, and Uhura was
amazed at how normal and like himself he sounded, despite
being fondled by their commanding officer.

"Me neither," said Kirk, still rummaging about in Spock's
trousers, though more to the front this time. "Too
complicated. We'll do it next time."

He spun Spock around, backing him up against the far side of
the transporter pad, and Uhura caught a fleeting glimpse of
panic on Spock's face. Whether it was panic at the
suggestion of penetration, the threat of Kirk doing this to
him again, or simply a reaction to whatever Kirk was doing
to him now, the panic was soon gone from Spock's face as he
let out a familiar moan.

Hardly daring to move, Uhura raised herself slightly to get
a better idea of what was going on, and then wished she
hadn't. Simply seeing the rapid, repetitive movements of
Kirk's elbow made it obvious why Spock had moaned.

Disgusted though she was at how Spock was letting himself be
handled, Uhura was mesmerised by the expression on his face.
The horizontal, chest-to- chest position they ordinarily
practiced in their own lovemaking did not often allow her to
see him clearly. In fact, he had a habit of burying his face
in her neck when he was close to release, as if he needed to
hide at the moment when all control was gone.

But now, Uhura could see his Vulcan mask slipping. Eyes
closed, lips parted, Spock was giving in to his human
desires. Uhura thought she had never seen anything so
beautiful.

"Huh, guess some things work the same," said Kirk with a
grin when Spock opened his eyes again, the moment over.

Spock leaned against the wall, staring into the middle
distance as he refastened his trousers, perhaps considering
the consequences of what Kirk had just done to him. Kirk
moved to one side to run his hand over Spock's naked torso,
tracing the contours of his hairy chest.

Uhura needed a drink; all the moisture in her mouth seemed
to have migrated to another part of her anatomy. Never mind
what Kirk was doing to that gorgeous body, Spock was in love
with *her* and Uhura promised herself she would make the
most of it the next time she got her hands on him.

"I hate to interrupt your Vulcan thoughts," said Kirk,
pressing his lips to Spock's neck. "But don't you think you
could do something about *this*?"

Spock came back to his senses. He glanced downwards.

"Fascinating," he commented, not without a hint of
amusement.

Kirk seemed unfazed by Spock's sarcasm. "Yeah, I often think
so." He gave Spock a cheeky grin. "Why don't you take a
closer look?"

"Not that fascinating," said Spock, though judging by the
change in Kirk's expression, he was indeed doing 'something
about *this*'.

"It wouldn't take very long," Kirk insisted, though his
voice sounded rather strangled.

Spock continued what he was doing for a moment,
alternatively observing the contents of his hand and the
look on Kirk's face. Uhura couldn't help but be amused by
the studious expression Spock wore, though her amusement
faded when he apparently decided that he did want a closer
look after all.

Spock vanished from view, and Uhura was left with the sight
of Kirk enjoying himself immensely. Hiding behind the
console, Uhura's mind replayed what she had seen so far, and
she wondered whether she would be able to crawl unseen out
of the room and go back to her quarters for a much needed
shower and change of underwear.

On the other hand, this was a unique opportunity to see her
lover in a different light. At least Uhura hoped it would
remain unique, and that Spock wasn't planning to repeat this
any time soon. On the assumption that she might never get
another chance to see what he was doing, and driven by an
inexplicable desire to seize the opportunity, Uhura peered
over the top of the console. And saw exactly what was going
on, in vivid detail.

At least Kirk was as good as his word, and was shouting "Oh
yes!" and various profanities within what was probably less
than a minute. Having seen Spock at work, Uhura couldn't
blame him. She sank back down behind the console, her
breathing heavy and her head full of images that should not
have been as exciting as they were.

"Ah shit, why did you have to use *my* shirt?"

"May I point out that it is mainly your mess?"

"Yeah, uh, what's up with that, anyway?"

"Vulcan biology does not allow unnecessary waste."

Uhura smiled at the stunned silence that followed Kirk's
discovery of a peculiarity of Vulcan physiology that she had
found rather pleasing.

"So you don't need to, um, recharge your power cells, so to
speak? I mean after... you can just go again?"

"Captain, if you want a lesson on the Vulcan reproductive
system, I can suggest several medical papers which may
answer your questions."

"I'd rather conduct my own experiments," said Kirk
suggestively. "Seeing as I have a test subject under my
hands."

"The answer to your question is 'no'. I require a rest
before I 'go again'."

Uhura could certainly attest to him needing a rest. Adorable
and sexy though he might be, Spock didn't usually make much
effort once both their needs were satisfied.

"Yeah, well, I wish you hadn't used *my* undershirt."

"Under the circumstances, I thought it logical to let you
explain its state to the laundry."

"Gee, thanks. They already think I'm a -- well, anyway, uh,
I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, we have a meeting at 0700."

"0700?" exclaimed Kirk. "Shit. I need some sleep!"

Uhura tried to make herself as small as possible as the
captain, wearing only his yellow tunic and carrying his
soiled undershirt, hurried out of the transporter room.
Hoping that Spock would soon follow him, Uhura stayed
perfectly still, closing her eyes like a child trying to
hide.

When she opened her eyes, Spock was crouching beside her,
still naked to the waist, the dark hairs on his olive skin
glistening with sweat.

They stared at each other for a moment; Spock apparently as
tongue- tied as Uhura herself.

"How did you know I was here?" she asked finally.

"You are my mate," said Spock as if it were obvious. "I can
always sense when you are close to me." He wiped his torso
self-consciously with the shirts he was carrying. "I hope
that little display was to your satisfaction?"

"What do you mean, *my* satisfaction?"

"You seemed intrigued by my desire for Captain Kirk," said
Spock, his tone even as always. "Since the opportunity arose
and you were near, I thought it might entertain you."

"You... you..." Uhura struggled to find the right term. "You
kinky bastard!"

Spock looked annoyed. "I believe it has been established
that humans who are taught to repress their emotions as
children often grow up displaying a tendency to unusual
sexual activity. As I am half human myself, I presume this
is the reason for my own desire for non-reproductive
practices. There seems little point in fighting these
desires if I have a mate who is willing to indulge them."

He spoke so earnestly that Uhura just had to laugh.

"So you thought seducing your captain in front of your
girlfriend was logical?"

"I am aware that you have found our activities
disappointing," he said, sounding a little hurt that she
didn't seem to appreciate his initiative.

"Well, you could be a little more imaginative sometimes."
Uhura stroked his chest. "That was a little extreme, but I
can't deny that I found it. interesting."

Spock's mouth twitched into the half-smile that indicated
intense amusement. "I could definitely sense that. It is
good to know it was an activity we both enjoyed."

He leaned forward, intending to kiss her, but Uhura pushed
him away.

"Don't you dare kiss me with that mouth!"

"Perhaps a different location than your own mouth would be
acceptable?" asked Spock as if he had just enquired about
the status of a level two diagnostic. "But I suggest that we
relocate to my quarters first."

Spock hooked one arm under Uhura's bent knees and the other
around her waist, and lifted her effortlessly off the
ground.

"Didn't you just tell Kirk you needed a rest?"

Spock lifted one eyebrow as he carried her out of the
transporter room.

"Nyota, Vulcans do lie sometimes."

---

The End